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The Warriors

6 days ago
The Warriors        

The Warriors

6 days ago

The Warriors

6 days ago
Jesus Christ. Learn how to fucking write, or at least ask for proofreaders.

The Warriors

6 days ago

HOW? do I get fucking proof readers

The Warriors

6 days ago
Ask in Writing Workshop, but your story needs to be a few thousand words longer before anyone will proofread. Give me a three thousand word draft, and I'll proofread it for you.

The Warriors

6 days ago

You should unpublish that and have someone read over it first.

The Warriors

6 days ago

and i have they said that it was interesting 

The Warriors

6 days ago
Who is this mysterious person that read your story?

The Warriors

6 days ago

someone in one of my classes

The Warriors

6 days ago

today 

The Warriors

6 days ago
You really shouldn't trust special ed kids to proofread for you.

The Warriors

6 days ago

well fuck you and im not special ed and neither are my friends and if you dont like this you can go fuck your self

The Warriors

6 days ago

It's not that he doesn't like this. It's that there is nothing to like.

The Warriors

6 days ago

i just started im getting to the good part

The Warriors

6 days ago
You are way too low on the totem pole to be making declarations like that, retard.

The Warriors

6 days ago

The Warriors

6 days ago

Chris stop picking on the mentally handicapped

The Warriors

6 days ago
You can't stop me Corgi, and if you keep trying, then that little something will leak out to the public. You know what I'm talking about.

The Warriors

6 days ago

Fuk no, pls Chris. 

For the sake of Uganda no!

The Warriors

6 days ago
It's too late Corgi.
People of CYS, Corgi blackmailed me so he could bad touch me. Then he blew up Uganda anyways.

The Warriors

6 days ago

Honestly if you deleted just the last 268 words or so and rewrote that, could be good.  

The Warriors

6 days ago

fuck you all

The Warriors

6 days ago

fuck it if you think you could make this story better then go ahead tell me what i should right instead 

The Warriors

6 days ago

if you call me mentally handy capped one more God damb time I swere

The Warriors

6 days ago
Oh, the mental handicap is getting feisty huh?

The Warriors

6 days ago

I’m not entirely sure why you keep responding to my thread with this, but sure by my estimation you’re “mentally handy capped”.

The Warriors

6 days ago

You swear what. It's the internet, lad. Suck it up. Write at least a thousand words, and come back to us for reviewing .

 

The Warriors

6 days ago
Okay, I'm going to give you serious, honest advice instead of just laughing and pointing like I've been doing. Learn to use proper grammar and capitalization. Read a few articles on the site about this sort of stuff, it's not that hard. I read through what little there is of your story, and while the set up seems interesting, the actual writing is just... Awful. There is the potential for a good story if you just... Completely rewrite what's there. As it stands, you'll just have people rating your story for the free point and it will be quietly unpublished for failing to meet site standards.

The Warriors

6 days ago

tell me how you would rewright it and btw I have worked on all of that

The Warriors

6 days ago
Try rewriting it while using English.

The Warriors

6 days ago
>I have already worked on all of that ... You're a troll, you have to be a troll.

The Warriors

6 days ago
I offered you proofreading services, and all you've got to do is write another 3000 words of your story.

The Warriors

6 days ago

im not even close to being done with my story why are you telling me this 

The Warriors

6 days ago
I thought this was a constructive comment until I checked the total word count lol.

The Warriors

6 days ago

how am i a troll

The Warriors

6 days ago

hmm

The Warriors

6 days ago

thats what i thought

The Warriors

6 days ago
You can think?

The Warriors

6 days ago

your pissing me of 

The Warriors

6 days ago
Sorry, you're just too galaxy brained for us. Try Choice of Games. In fact the last time your cousin FANG was there he indirectly triggered a series of events that led to AlexP owning Jason Hill and exposing him as a liar on his own forum, so, obviously they need more retard wolves among their retard sheep.

The Warriors

6 days ago
(whoops too many big words, just touch the blue part k)

The Warriors

6 days ago

who the fuck is fang

The Warriors

6 days ago

fuck you

The Warriors

6 days ago
hello mr bigwoolf i am send elctronic mal 2 u 2day 2 discus improtant mater abut site "choseurstroy". i haev decide 2 let ban u form siet. HOWEER i am wiling 2 let u bac on uner 1 conditon: u sho bob and vegani pic. tis very impotant 4 me becuz i am dieing of raer disees were onli bob adn vegani can cuer me pls bb am so honry i need bob and vegani pleze adn thak u hed admin cris173025

The Warriors

6 days ago
Indeed.

The Warriors

6 days ago

Stop making new threads for this. You have like three threads up already. I already reviewed this "story" in the Writing Workshop. You took none of my advice and just posted the same "story" again. Learn English or make your story in whatever language your country speaks. Why don't you try using the spellchecker that is quite literally built in to the website before begging people to proofread your pile of illiteracy?

The Warriors

6 days ago

im fucking American you bitch

The Warriors

6 days ago

what does this say

 i am send elctronic mal 2 u 2day 2 discus improtant mater abut site "choseurstroy". i haev decide 2 let ban u form siet. HOWEER i am wiling 2 let u bac on uner 1 conditon: u sho bob and vegani pic. tis very impotant 4 me becuz i am dieing of raer disees were onli bob adn vegani can cuer me pls bb am so honry i need bob and vegani pleze adn thak u

The Warriors

6 days ago
I am sending this electronic mail to you today to discuss an important matter about the site "ChooseYourStory". I have decided to ban you from the site. However, I am willing to retract this ban under one condition: you show a picture of your boobs and vagina. This is very important for me because I am dying of a rare disease where only boobs and vagina can cure me. Please baby, I am so horny, I need boobs and vagina. Please and thank you.

The Warriors

6 days ago

And I'm Russian. Really makes your writing look poor doesn't it? But I'm done trying to help you so here you go: 

The Warriors

6 days ago

well criticizing my shit is not helping

The Warriors

6 days ago
I thought you wanted criticism?

Not that you provided anything to critique.

Try actually writing something, in English, and then get back to us. There's nothing to discuss right now.

The Warriors

6 days ago

how about you choke on another pickle you fat bitch living in your moms basement 

The Warriors

6 days ago
lol

The Warriors

6 days ago

Damn, miz. Rekt.

The Warriors

6 days ago
We were all having so much fun, I was sorry to have to be the one to have to pull the trigger. But what else can you do when they beg for death.

The Warriors

6 days ago

He really crossed a line bringing pickles into this. Good riddance.

The Warriors

6 days ago
He provided entertainment while it lasted.

The Warriors

6 days ago
Dammit Mizal, I really wanted those bob and vegani pics from him.

The Warriors

6 days ago

I think you were on the fast track to a pickle pic. You should thank Mizal for her mercy.

The Warriors

6 days ago
Shit, you're right. If I accepted a pickle pic from a man that'd be gay because he's a dude with a pickle. Thank you Mizal for banning him so that my virgin eyes could be spared.

The Warriors

6 days ago

Here you go! ^_^

The Warriors

6 days ago
Thank you Avery, very cool.

The Warriors

6 days ago

Happy fapping ^_^

The Warriors

6 days ago

... Hey, aren't Warriors games supposed to be banned?

The Warriors

6 days ago
@seto1234 That was fast.

The Warriors

6 days ago
Ms. Mizal turned to the class of slobbering children, she scans the room noticing that the Indian boy in the corner had been staring at her below the neck line for the past hour. Making a mental note to beat him later, she presented the child in front of her to the class.

“This is Gunther. He is 6 years old and is from Alabama. Everybody say Hi Gunther!”

A mixed grunt of salutations and screams rung throughout the room.

“Tell us a little about yourself, what do you like to do for fun?”

Gunther waved to the class, although it quickly became an act that can only be described as dying pelican trying to fly whilst 80% of its wing mass on either side had been shot off.

“i liek guns n’ fortnte I hav a big sercet i wath my liltte pony. my autn is my momy an’ i -“ a bang silences the monstrosity. Ms. Mizal picks up some chalk and continues teaching, the principal will be pleased.

The Warriors

6 days ago

I could have spent all this time writing, but reading this thread was like watching a crack addict in a car accident. When the series of onlookers showed up with medical aid, the burning driver just ran out into the street, and picked a fight with half the people trying to help. This attempted fight also included the mayor of the whole town. Then he turned around and got his ass handed to himself by the resident bad ass russian before throwing himself under the wheels of the ambulance. The last part was incredibly impressive because the ambulance was parked.

I don't regret reading this thread. Somebody should do something about the short dog that's nuking third world countries and sexually assualting/blackmailing young men.