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Commie Coke

3 years ago
Having a ton of schoolwork I need to get done today didn't stop me from spending way too long reading about Coca-Cola. Among other things, I learned that a Marshal of the Soviet, Georgy Zhukov, was introduced to Coca-Cola in World War II by Dwight D. Eisenhower himself and had special, colorless versions of the drink made for him so he could drink it in public without openly promoting the delicious symbol of capitalist imperialism. Additionally, when New Coke replaced the regular Coca-Cola formula temporarily, apparently even Fidel Castro denounced it. Coca-Cola is serious business, people. If anyone else has some weird and interesting information they've found lately, I'd be interested in hearing about it.

Commie Coke

3 years ago

In the 1800s, ice cream was eaten off of plates, not out of bowls.

Really rich people would flavor it using ambergris, but for most people the popular flavorings were pumpkin, strawberry, and, uh, orange flower water?

Alexander the great is usually cited as the first world-famous fan of ice cream, but this is a bald-faced lie spread by actual retards, because let me tell you somethin', buster. Not even the Romans had the technology to cream their ice until they became Italy. Alexander the Great basically ate snow cones with wine or honey in them. The actual invention of ice cream is incredibly dubious and depends entirely on what you think counts as ice cream, as well as just who the fuck you're willing to believe on the subject. If you google it you'll often get articles mentioning a medieval Arabian thing called "Sharabt" which is often englified to "Sherbert".

Now, this might make sense to your puny modern manlet brain, because Sherbert and Ice Cream are pretty similar, right? But no, you're also an actual retard because for most of history, the distinction between ice cream and sherbert was for an actual reason. These days, if you walk into any given place and ask for a sherbert, you'll just get ice cream that's flavored after one or more of the 4 citrus fruits deemed edible in our society. But if you walked up to a fancy city in cowboy times and sidled up to the soda fountain and asked for a sherbert... They might not know what the fuck you're talking about, but they WOULD know what you're talking about if you asked for a lemon, lime, orange, or grapefruit-flavored ice cream.

So what the FUCK is a sherbert, you might ask? Well I'll tell you. A sherbert is an icy milk drink flavored with fruit. Way back in the day it was usually cherries, or pomegranate, or whatever the fuck a quince is, as well as whacky stuff like sandalwood and flower petals and shit. (Though sandalwood and flower petals and shit were also used in other desserts all over the world before we decided that things other than fruit and fruit accessories were weird and icky things to put in a dessert. And I mean let's be real here, if somebody was like "I made this candy out of rosewater please try it" and you didn't know what rosewater was, and then somebody told you what rosewater was, you would think they were actually legitimately extremely mentally autistic and probably call the police. I mean I only just learned what rosewater was, and if people hadn't been eating that shit ever since like 5 minutes after the first human found roses, I'd probably have slapped them for being a weird hippy eating shit out of random plants.)

"But Sent," You're probably saying, "That's just a fruit milkshake" and to you I say fuck off you stankous cuntgargler, Modern English wasn't even a twinkle in its father's balls yet. You're a fruit milkshake.

There is also Syllabub which is only tangentially related as another cream-based drink, which was usually a sort of sweetened whipped cream froth with wine poured over it. The heavy wine would of course sink to the bottom, and the whipped cream would float up to the top, and you would get sort of a root beer float kinda thing except with booze and it was usually lemon flavored.

Anyway I saw this as tangentially related to the coke thing since in the 1800s, the delicacy we know as ice cream was often used to promote the opening of the newly invented insulated ice-houses, which were majestic inventions that brought the power of COLD from canada all the way to the wild, wild west. In the tradition of Syllabub and Sharabt and other chilly milk beverages, ice cream sodas became a staple treat in the aforementioned soda fountains from that day forward, but these were viewed as sinfully rich by some asshole priest or something, so the Soda Jerks (that's actually what the guys who work behind the bar at a soda fountain are called) swapped out the carbonated water for just... More ice cream, and left the syrup in. And that is one of many disputed stories behind why the fuck we call it an Ice Cream Sundae.

Commie Coke

3 years ago
Next time I go to a store (maybe in three months), I'm going to get what I need for a wine float, thanks.

Commie Coke

3 years ago
I forget to mention, last night I totally did this and it was amazing.



Barefoot strawberry fruitscato, would highly recommend. It's a little like a strawberry cream soda once the icecream starts to melt. Why did this ever go out of style?

Commie Coke

3 years ago
???

Broken image.

Commie Coke

3 years ago
Try looking at it on mobile. I've been having the same problem with the Discord images that have the cdn.discordapp URL, but only on desktop.

Other people tell me they work fine and I haven't had time to figure out the cause yet.

Are you using Firefox?

Commie Coke

3 years ago
Yeah, Firefox. I can see it by clicking Pic Info, but not directly.

Commie Coke

3 years ago
Eating ice cream off a plate seems like not too great of an idea unless you are either in a cool place or eating relatively small amounts of ice cream. Eating ice cream flavored with ambergris also sounds terrible. Maybe it's great though. I've never eaten nor smelled sperm whale intestinal goop. Also, sherbert is distinct from ice cream in both flavor and legal definition, you heathen. Try raspberry sherbert and raspberry ice cream and then tell me they're the same. SMH. Aside from the uneducated blasphemy with the sherbert though, this was all very interesting. Thank, Sent.

Commie Coke

3 years ago

Eating ice cream off a plate is probably fine if you're not unbearably slow about it. It's true that they can't really hold as much fluid as a bowl, but they do have a lot of surface area and you'd have to let quite a lot of ice cream melt before it risks overflowing. Assuming your dish is sitting properly on a table and you're not carrying the plate around, you'd have to have lost close to an entire scoop in order to fill most curved plates, at which point you're either in australia or you're just terrible at eating ice cream.

The evolution from plate to bowl probably came about with things like the banana split, which not only took up more space than things like the typical glass that a sundae comes in, but were covered in syrup and stuff usually drizzled in a messy way, which is probably where the walls of the bowl come in handy keeping everything in. It is a lot more generally ergonomic to eat ice cream out of a bowl, but because it was not absolutely necessary, I assume most people just used plates because it was simpler, since that's what ordinarily solid food usually comes on.

Commie Coke

3 years ago
Yes, but I get weird enough looks trying to drink every last bit of melted remains from a bowl, you see.

Commie Coke

3 years ago

I once ate ice cream with a fork.  Surprisingly enough, it's actually a lot easier so long as you finish it quickly enough.  If you really want to get the melted stuff at the end, you can just drink it straight out of the bowl instead of spending fifteen minutes taking baby scoops with a spoon.  But I've never cared for melted ice cream anyways, so maybe that's just me.  

Commie Coke

3 years ago
Well this was something you discovered, but others should aware that the About page on the Bang site is hilarious. (Dr. Pepper and Coke were like the OG energy drinks and Bang is owned by Pepsi as of April so...shut up, it's on topic ...)
Knowing that I had recommended a protein supplement to my clients that was complete garbage that had impeded their results made me furious! Things went from bad to worse. Shortly thereafter, my best friend was playing professional basketball. He was HIGHLY allergic to milk protein. With all the trust in the world, my best friend asked me to recommend the purest egg protein and send it to him. I sent him Med Sport Egg Protein. Upon consuming this protein, he asphyxiated in the shower. Suffocating and near death he pounded on the shower doors. His wife rescued him and immediately transported him to the hospital where the medical staff saved his life. The irony of this grand deception ran deep – who would have known that my friend would need to be saved by a medical staff from using a product called, Med Sport? Enraged with anger at the corruption, dishonesty and utter tomfoolery in the supplement industry, set me on an unwavering warpath. First I exposed these supplement companies in the media and one of them actually shut its doors and went out of business. Then I took decisive action using intensive scientific research and development to innovate and create supplements that yielded extreme efficacy and impeccable purity – to create a sports and performance nutrition company that tested and set the highest standards for quality.
I'm pretty sure drinking Bang for 30 days straight would kill most people, but this man probably also mixes in a tablespoon of powered amphetamines to maintain that blinding smile and crazy eyes.

Commie Coke

3 years ago
I fully intend to try Bang now. This About page has done more for that company than anything. Jack Owo is not the hero we need, but he is the hero we deserve.

Commie Coke

3 years ago

You know how it's considered rude to put your elbows on the table? Weird origin story for that.

Back during the American War of Independence, lots of people were being conscripted into the navy, due to it being a largely naval battle. One thing that often happened is that officers would just barge into local taverns and look for capable sailors to conscript. But how to tell if someone was a capable sailor?

Well, one little giveaway was that professional sailors generally ate with their elbows on the table. (They had to eat like that on the ships to stop their plate from falling off the table when the waves rocked the boat.) So, if the officers saw a man with their elbows on the table, chances are, that guy was getting conscripted.

So, word started spreading, "Don't eat with your elbows on the table! You'll get conscripted!" And so, gradually, people learned to be careful not to put their elbows on the table while eating... This tradition continued, only eventually, I guess people forgot why it was taboo to eat with their elbows on the table and just assumed it was bad manners. :p

Commie Coke

3 years ago

I always assumed it was so you wouldn't be jabbing any people next to you whenever you had to move your arms.

Commie Coke

3 years ago
I had to look this up and it seems the elbows thing goes quite a bit further back than that. Although two minutes of googling didn't turn up the oldest reference so I guess it will remain lost to the mists of time. (It might be a handbook on manners by Erasmus in the 1500s.)

Commie Coke

3 years ago
Oh, huh. It's referenced in one of the apocryphal Bible books as well.
Be ashamed: before the Lord’s truth and covenant, of leaning on your elbow at meals, of showing contempt when receiving or giving...
Now what it meant culturally I'm not sure of, the context implies 'contempt' of course so I guess it was just a body language thing. Although when you have people packed in together at a feast anywhere I imagine it would be annoying and could lead to mishaps and arguments if your neighbors are jabbing your food and knocking shit over with their elbows.

Commie Coke

3 years ago

Didn't a lot of people lounge/recline to eat rather than sit in the ancient middle east? Well, at least the free men. The women and kids and servants had to sit, though eventually sitting was considered the more 'dignified' way to wat. I would think leaning on ones elbow or elbow in the table would be a useful prop, though. Maybe it implied one thought he was better than everyone else or something.

 

Commie Coke

3 years ago
Fun fact: Romans used asbestos tablecloth. If it gets dirty you just throw it into the fire to clean it.

I am really surprised that no related technology has made it into fantasy literature. A mineral that can be mined and woven into a cloth seems to fit right in with dwarven culture. Protection against fire would be a very welcome added benefit.

If only Balin had known ...

Commie Coke

3 years ago
The funner fact is the way they made sweetener out of lead.

Commie Coke

3 years ago
In Roman times they did, but I'm not sure about prior to that.

Actually, I found a few references just now to sitting to eat in the earlier parts of the Bible, while the Roman style obviously is practiced in the New Testament. (Obviously Biblical characters were not always in a position to be lounging around on couches though.) Other sources aren't quite as convenient to search but maybe I'll come back to this after work.

Commie Coke

3 years ago

There was a group of pterosaurs called azhdarchids that grew to be the size of giraffes and walked around swallowing small dinosaurs whole.

Commie Coke

3 years ago

In the old days, they used to rub horse manure on your chest to cure a cold.

Commie Coke

3 years ago
The one weird trick to curing covid that doctors don't want you to know.

Commie Coke

3 years ago
Thomas Beddoes was one of the most notable English physicians of the early 19th century. He founded the Pneumatic Institution, where he tried to cure various ailments of patients by inhaling different gases. For example he tried to cure tuberculosis by having patients inhale cow's breath.

But matters improved when Beddoes hired 20-year old Humphrey Davy, now counted among the grandfathers of chemistry. Davy purified several gases and also tested them personally.

Inhaling carbon monoxide did not work out too well, but Davy survived.

Nitrous oxide was a bigger success. Davy and Bedoes discovered its anesthetic properties, which meant that for the first time surgery could be performed with anesthesia.

However, Davy was more interested in recreational uses of Nitrous oxide, which he freely shared with several writers, including Samuel Taylor Coleridge.

When Coleridge, who had a heroin addiction since childhood, took Nitrous Oxide he had dark visions which he described in his most famous work, the Rime of the Ancient Mariner.

Commie Coke

3 years ago

My grandmother used to talk about that when we were kids and we'd complain about the mustard poultices and whatnot, then Grandpa would start in about how fresh cow manure was great for cold sores and chapped lips since it'd definitely keep you from licking them.

Commie Coke

3 years ago

Most here probably knew of this already, but the USA held a exhibit on Sokolniki Park and one of the items exhibited was Pepsi Cola. Some photo with Nixon and Khrushchev drinking pepsi made the drink blow up there and they ended up negotiated a cola monopoly on the USSR.

Due to the restrictions on the exchange of rubles abroad, the soviets ended up bartering Stolichnaya vodka for Pepsi. The interesting part is that this deal was renegotiated in 1990, and the soviets ended up bartering a small fleet for pepsi instead. This all made PepsiCo become the 6th largest military power on the world for a brief while, before they sold the fleet to a swedish company for scrapping.

Commie Coke

3 years ago
I had been wondering why Coca-Cola took so much longer than Pepsi to make it into the Soviet Union without being color-changed for one important military guy. Hadn't considered Pepsi important enough to look it up myself.

Commie Coke

3 years ago
No comment on the actual soft drink except to note that it isn't fit for human nor animal consumption and might be better off used as a cleaning agent of some kind, but PepsiCo trades for three times higher than the pitiful Coca-Cola, produces more goods and has been more versatile and adaptable to changing market trends. I'd be happy to live in a country protected by their navy as long as I didn't have to drink Pepsi itself.

Commie Coke

3 years ago
That would be pretty awesome. Could probably just use Pepsi straight as a sweetener since it tastes like it's at least 75% sugar/corn syrup.

Commie Coke

3 years ago

If you took someone from the middle ages and brought them to the present, soda and spices would probably amaze them more than airplanes and cellphones. 

Commie Coke

3 years ago
The cheapness of spices maybe, but they used a wide variety already, probably more than most people do today.

Commie Coke

3 years ago
There are naturally carbonated springs in existence.

Commie Coke

3 years ago
I find it hillarious when people order a still St. Pellegrino, because St. Pellegrino is one of them.

Commie Coke

3 years ago
Spam is considered a fancy food in Korea. Or at least a very nostalgic one. This is one thing they got absolutely right, because Spam is amazing. For them though it goes back to the Korean War where it was basically the only meat anyone could get, and only then if they were important enough to have connections with US army guys. I read some article once where an old man talks about how when he was a kid he'd go around with the other boys to salvage Spam cans that weren't completely emptied out from the garbage at the US base, then sell them to restaurants. So that's depressing but fast forward to today and hurray, it's nice to have people properly respect it when it's so popular to cast shade on the goodness of Spam here in the land of round eyed devils.