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Mizal

BATTLE OF THE MODS: THE EARTHSHAKING FINALE

15 days ago

Commended by Mizal on 6/11/2025 1:07:19 AM

(Last time, on Thunderdome Arcade...) Cystia had never seen a battle like this. Sentinel and Hatter went to war with savage strikes and parries, searching for any weakness in their foe, any opportunity. The crowd was stunned when they both with zero hesitation resorted to using even children, not just as human shields but as actual blunt weapons. For the mods fought not just for recognition and personal victory, but for ancient ideals from a less civilized era. The inexhaustible power of the mods seemed for awhile like it might lead to another draw, for once again neither could seem to get a hand up over the other for long. It seemed entirely likely their audience would grow weary long before they could decisively settle this thing. But Fate had its own plans. Sentinel feinted with his spork at Hatter's precious hat, and when she raised a hand to protect it, he struck anew, stabbing her right in the strawberry pudding and sending the dessert glass spinning from her grasp. Hatter gasped. The crowd gasped. The glass tinkled into a thousand pieces on the ground. Sentinel grinned in triumph. But the pudding did not splatter. It merely plopped there, and quivered. And then it split in half. And split again. And again. Never seeming to grow any smaller, quite the opposite. Long ago, as Sentinel and Hatter SHOULD have remembered, ancient prophets had foretold in verse: When Sacred Spork in rapturous spell, Stirs fruity Pudding of Deepest Hell. Hark! For flanny doom doth knell. One might really think it was very irresponsible of Sent and Hatter to be holding such items of destructive power in such close proximity, stabbing and waving them at each other and stuff, but that's the mods of Cystia for you! And as the puddings hopped squelchily around the Penguinite's feet, rapidly multiplying, slowly growing, and trying to suction themselves onto his shins and dissolve his feathers, he fled the arena, screeching in abject horror, the whole swarm bouncing after him.

pudding

This was all a little strange even by Cystian standards. The crowd didn't know what to think, and there was some worry that this would lead to a pink goo scenario that would see the kingdom's crops, cars, and children devoured. And two of those things would be pretty bad! But behind Hatter, someone began to golf clap. "Just as I planned," Sherbet said, with a cool chuckle. Hatter whirled. "What? You did this? But why? The pudding was so innocent and sweet in its little glass, and now it may destroy the kingdom!"

evil

Sherbet's laugh erupted from the shadowed recesses deep within his paper bag. "Good! I hate the innocent, and LOVE destroying things, because I'm PURE EVIL!" He punctuated this by casually biting into a raw onion, because he was also deranged. "And yes, it was I who chose your prompt, I orchestrated that whole battle. And now that Sent's out of the way, I need only--" Just then, there was a deafening rumble, and Mizal, the actual heroine of this tale who had successfully avoided most of the writing, burst through one of the arena walls, riding on a mighty triceratops. Dozens of other dinosaurs followed, many different species, screeching and roaring, a veritable herd of anachronistic improbability.

mizalosaur

"NO! It can't be!" Sherbet shrieked. "You were already dealt with, the mole people--" "Hah! You thought the mole people could take me to the center of the Earth, and I wouldn't just befriend the dinosaurs there and escape! Rookie mistake, Sherb! And now MHD will save the kingdom, after I commend myself for announcing it! I had to write this fucking intro twice you know, I deserve to treat myself!" Mizal slipped out of the saddle and ran up to the announcer's podium. "People of Cystia! Welcome to Thunderdome: Thunderlizards Edition!" She gestured at the rampaging dinosaurs below. "The contestants will now have a fight involving dinosaurs!" "Ugh..." "But that's the stupidest prompt on the list..." Sherb and MHD both echoed each other in dismay, before reluctantly drawing their weapons. It was time to walk the dinosaur.

FIGHT

Mizal

BATTLE OF THE MODS: THE EARTHSHAKING FINALE

15 days ago

Story A: I stormed the coast, trampling tall grass, and other, shorter creatures beneath me. I ducked my head into the crystal water, gulping down gallons, and a couple fish. I pulled my head up, the water rushed off me. This brought a delight over me, so I roared. My roar made branches shiver, disturbed the fauna, echoed through the mountains and back at me. It warned others I was not to be trifled with. Even the long-necked aquatic monsters dove back beneath the water, disappearing into the cool darkness beneath the water's surface, startled by my presence. I lifted a foot. My steps were powerful. If my roar did not echo, then my feet surely did. I opened my wings, flicking the water off of them, then tucked them neatly beside me. Even with my feathers and wings, I could not fly, like some others, so my life was here on the ground. That was why my legs were so powerful. Nor was I as quick as the little ones that ran in packs, diving around and between my legs, chirping annoyingly. But my jaw was grand, and I could easily reach down and snap one into my mouth. Although only a dozen would make me feel full. Those that did feed me were like myself, albeit, smaller. other land monsters who, while quicker than I, could not outrun my sheer size. I would duck my head close to the ground and bare my teeth. I could grasp their tails, stopping them in their tracks. They roared at me, in anger or fear, but that did not deter me. I would tear them from their feet, drag them across ragged ground, wounding them in the process. I hated to fight - I rarely had to - so I would bite their necks, killing them instantly. That would satisfy me for a few days. Long enough for me to rest so I could do it again. ~~~ I supposed I was jealous of the others that dove down at me, soaring across the sky and perching in giant nests on the cliffs, gazing upon me as if they were not my prey. They had a sinister quality about them and sneering beaks. They knew they were safe in the skies. Safe from me, but also safe from the land. The land was victim to storms, floods, the hot lava of volcanoes, the freezing snow storms that made the smaller ones bury beneath the ground. We, the land dwellers, were victims to the land, and had to face whatever force of nature would consume us next, and that happened often in these tumultuous times. It seemed as if this land I walked was unsteady, as if it was still learning and growing. Sometimes it shifted, rumbled through the valleys, caused me to stumble. My feet were wide and heavy, but so was my body. My long tail tried to keep me steady. The following day, there would be a new crack on the surface, too wide for me to cross. I would find another way to the watering hole, until that crack became a watering hole all its own. I knew one thing, and that was I was the king of this land. Very rarely did another dare to cross my path. The only ones I knew were the winged ones that travelled in flocks. They would try to attack me. They would dive at my throat, slashing at me with their sharp teeth beneath long beaks. They would try to grab me with their razor talons. It would take many swings before they would even break my thick, scaley skin. I would turn my head at the perfect moment, grab one of them by the wing. It screeched and fought my grasp. I would shake my head, ripping its wing from the rest of it. It fell, struggled on the ground, crying for its flock. But its flock did not care but for their own safeties. They fled, suddenly understanding that they were no match for me, regardless of their numbers. I put the dying thing out of its misery. I was a merciful king like that. I gulped down the wing. ~~~ The days grew hotter and longer. My body was coated in sweat where my wings did not shield me from the sun. I would wave my wings to cool myself down. Now I rarely went far from the watering hole - even that grew drier by the day. I guarded it closely. My leisurely swimming turned into a watchful survival. I would roar at any creature who dared creep towards the pond. Sometimes I would eat it. The night was forgiving and encased the world in a chilled air. I looked forward to it now. As much as I liked the heat, it was quickly becoming overwhelming and uncomfortable. I began sleeping during the scorching dawn and hunting in the frigid dusk. I had no stamina otherwise. I wondered how long I could go on like this. I wondered if the world or myself would perish first. My hunger grew as others began to move to other, cooler places, or die. The grass began to rot away, leaving nothing but dust where it used to grow. That dust would then blow away, revealing rock and stone where nothing living could thrive. Those that fed off that grass, and the insects within that grass, disappeared. Those that fed off those creatures, disappeared. And myself, who fed on those creatures, well, would I disappear as well? I had little time to think about the philosophical. My stomach howled. I had no other thoughts now, other than eating. I could not wait until the night to hunt. I was starving. I had to move through the blazing heat of the day now. I lumbered along with labored breaths. I never felt the heat on my talons before, but now they felt as if they might melt. ~~~ The days I had always longed for. There was a solid structure above my head that shielded me from the sun. Although it was cooler nowadays than it ever had been. I could venture out now, without worry I would starve without food or roast in the sunlight to death. I could hunt with precision, the insects that crawled over my feet. My feet were strong. They were my prime hunting assets. If I did not use my pointed beak to snatch them unwittingly, then I could grab them between my talons. The latter worked well for small, furry mammals that occasionally crossed my path. Although I basked in the thrill of the hunt, the ground was always full of kernels. They were delicious, if sugary, and always plentiful. They made me sluggish and fat, forcing me to hunt less and less, relying on them more and more. A part of me wondered, is this the life I always dreamed of? I no longer had to worry about my survival, about eating or sleeping. My world, now limited by a wiry wall, protected me. At nights, I no longer had to hunt. I gulped the fresh water every day. Sometimes, on semi-warm days, I would even bathe. Sometimes, I would close my eyes, and not worry about a thing. I had never had this luxury before. There is a give and take in life. I knew there were predators above me now. Occasionally I would see them. But they did not want to hurt, or eat, me. In fact, I believe they solely replenished the kernels within my wire home. I was safe in a way I had never been before. The sun breached the horizon. I had an urge, a need. . . To roar.

Mizal

BATTLE OF THE MODS: THE EARTHSHAKING FINALE

15 days ago

Story B: “I have to say, Professor, this is… this is something else. You’ve really outdone yourself, this time.” You stare in complete awe at what is unfolding before your eyes- the projector sitting in the center of the round room is producing a total of three different holograms, neon blue and choppy at first, before becoming solid and distinctly colored in the air. A sea turtle, a hammerhead, and a koi. They look just like the real thing, swimming elegantly above the floor. “I’m glad to hear you say that, Daniel,” the man at your side says. You look down at him- the years haven’t treated him very well. He’s lost at least four inches in height, and just the strain of standing up a few minutes has his legs wobbling slightly beneath him. “I’ve been working on this for a very long time- you’re still the only one who’s seen it, so far.” Ronan Callaghan, an old professor of yours, and the person you’ve always considered to be the most brilliant in the world. His mind is a boundless field of new, eccentric thoughts and ideas, and this is no exception. This must be his most brilliant work yet… you’ve worked with these creatures for some years now, and everything about the light show is utterly perfect. The appearance, the movement patterns… the turtle and the koi even seem to be reactive to the hammerhead, keeping distant from the bulky-headed shark. “It’s… it’s fantastic. Might even put all the work I’ve done in the field to shame,” you laugh softly, scratching the back of your head. You extend your hand toward the koi, but it swims away… realistic, but you were hoping for your own little Disney Princess moment. “They’re practically the real thing, Daniel,” Callaghan replies with a smugness, a glimmer in his eye. “It is not just a hologram, it is a simulation. Behaviors, reactions… predators, prey… speed. Intelligence. These three are perfect… certainly, this is more interesting than anything Finley has you doing back in the states.” You keep your eyes on the hammerhead, as it seems to show interest in the sparkling, gilded koi. “Yeah. Nothing else compares, I mean… if these are really perfect simulations of animals… this might be one of the most important inventions… ever. It would make for one heck of a zoo, too,” you take a step back from the hammerhead as it eyes you, even though you haven’t a reason to worry. “One heck of a zoo…” he chortles weakly, taking a few steps toward the projector. “How is Finley, anyway?” “Oh, he’s great. I mean, the hours are killing us slowly, but if you love what you do… and get paid well for it, you never really work a day in your life, right?” you smile. “He’s been preparing for the big Hawaii trip. They’re not going to let him take those precious cigars on the plane, though, so I don’t know how he’s going to last six weeks.” “Hm. Curious, I recall that Finley quit smoking some months ago,” Callaghan remarks. You turn to look at him and see his bloodshot eyes staring daggers at you, as if you’ve just said something terrible to him. Eccentric. “Uh… right, sure. Sorry,” you clear your throat. “Is everything alright, professor? You don’t look like you’ve been getting much sleep.” “...hmm, my apologies, Daniel. It’s just been so much work… perfecting it all…” he sighs, rubbing at an eye with his hand, readjusting his thick glasses. “If you don’t mind me asking, how did this whole project start? You were working on something completely different when I graduated.” “I’ll tell you, but only because you’re my best student,” some of the light returns to Callaghan’s eyes as he takes another step toward the projector, resting his weary fingers on the keypad and punching in a few inputs. The hammerhead disappears, and then the koi, and then with some hesitation, the turtle. Callaghan doesn’t stop there, pressing a few more buttons, and then… another construct of that bright, neon light appears across the room. It’s blinding in its size compared to the last three, very tall with width to match. When it stabilizes, a new animal stands before you and your old professor- you realize it’s a long extinct one, a leathery-skinned dinosaur. “This is a pachycephalosaurus,” Callaghan states calmly and casually, sighing, evidently unsatisfied with this creation of his. “Note the round and bald top of the cranium, not unlike Finley,” he points out. “Spiky head. Herbivorous diet…” “Professor, that’s… that’s amazing!” you stare with wide eyes. “And is it really, you know… accurate?” “Hm. You asked me how this project started,” Callaghan sighs again, watching the head movements of the curious dinosaur. “It was with these, with dinosaurs. But I came to a terrible epiphany, Daniel.” “What’s that, Professor?” “No human will ever know what the dinosaurs looked like. No human will ever know exactly how they behaved. The best we can do is look at their bones, and make educated guesses. This, like all other depictions of this creature, is a bastardization. It is not accurate, it cannot be. We will never have a perfect simulation of a dinosaur.” You swallow, as the air in the room seems to change. He’s always been that way, capable of shifting to a deadly-serious voice in a second, changing the very atmosphere with his words and his tone. He is not a large or physically imposing man, but to an extent, he can be quite scary. “One day, at the rate this world is moving, many creatures will be lost to time. Those sharks will die out- those fish will die out. The turtles… they, too, will die out. When they go, what will be left of them? Bones? Drawings? Recreations in museums? Everything but the ability to… watch them, swimming through the water. Everything but their personality, their flair, their soul. Every child should see a turtle, at least once, don’t you agree? Don’t they deserve to live on in some way? The dinosaurs will never have that luxury, but I can create it for the beings of today.” The pachycephalosaurus takes a step toward you, and Callaghan immediately presses a button, causing the large creature to disappear. It was making you quite nervous- even though you know it’s just a mass of light and code simulating the creature, it’s something you’d rather observe from behind some glass… maybe that’s a little ungrateful, though. After all, you’re the only person on the planet that’s been allowed to experience this work of genius, this work of art. “It’s an unfortunate circumstance, but you’ve done something amazing with what’s available. I’m sure kids would love to be able to see their favorite dinosaurs up close, even if they’re not exact replicas,” you offer, stepping up beside him, staring down at the projector. “How many creatures do you have in your library?” “Let’s see… I have six perfected. Thirty-two works in progress. The dinosaurs are their own category, for I cannot call them either one,” he says, closing his eyes to rest them for a few moments. “Could I see? May I?” you ask, reaching toward the keypad. None of the keys are actually labeled, nor is there a screen to preview the simulations… has he really memorized every combination of inputs that well? “NO!” his voice suddenly booms, practically barking at you and causing you to flinch, your hand rising back up and away from the keypad before you’ve even had a chance to press a button. Callaghan is staring with that same eerie, bloodshot look, before taking a breath and calming down. “No- the technology is… rather sensitive, Daniel. Maybe some other time.” “Yes, sure…” you nod slowly, but you’re beginning to have some doubts. You’ve never known Professor Callaghan to be quite this… short tempered, even when at the point of such exhaustion. “I’m sorry, but I have to ask again, are you sure you’re alright? This project seems to be taking a toll on you.” “I’m looking forward to the night that I can get eight hours’ rest, Daniel, but that night may never come again,” Callaghan chuckles, turning away from the projector. “It only happens two, three times in a man’s life, Daniel. That project that he’s willing to pour every bit of himself into, even if it kills him, no matter the cost. But I’ve grown old- in two years, I’ve perfected only six species. I will be dead long before this project is complete… you are lucky and unlucky, Daniel. You never found that project that kept you up at night with excitement.” “Professor Callaghan…” you frown, pitying the old man. He wouldn’t want you to pity him, but it’s a heartbreaking scenario… all that passion, all that hard work, put toward an unimaginable piece of technology, and he would never get to see it complete. “Maybe if you had someone else working on it with you, the pace would be more… favorable. Someone to pass this technology down to.” “Interested?” the man smiles sadly, taking a step away from the projector, and his knee seems to buckle beneath him slightly. “Professor- let me get you a chair.” “No, don’t,” he orders you sternly, shaking his head as he stabilizes himself. “Daniel, it’s just like you to offer your help, but I’m afraid that just isn’t going to be possible.” “What? Why not?” you ask. “You have always been my best student, Daniel, but you… are not cut out for this. Besides, you have that work with Finley on the horizon.” “That’s nothing, compared to this… Professor, please, you have to give me a chance, this technology could change the-” you place a hand on his shoulder, but you don’t feel anything beneath your fingertips- your entire hand phases right through his coat and his flesh, as if you were a ghost passing through his physical form. The world seems to shatter around you. “...Daniel-” “No,” you say- you look toward the projector as things begin to click. The slight inconsistencies in your knowledge, his refusal to let you touch anything. “No, you… you couldn’t have… you wouldn’t-” “Daniel, it’s time for us to part ways again,” Callaghan says with a saddened sigh, stepping closer toward the machine. You move to push him away, but there’s nothing you can physically do to interfere. You cannot interact with him, or the projector- all you can do is make noise. “Stop- stop, just hold on, get away from it!” you plead. “Just stop for one second, please!” “This was inevitable, Daniel. I’m sorry,” he brings a hand toward the keypad, forearm passing through your stomach on the way. “If it is any consolation, you are the closest I’ve come to the real thing. I apologize for my behavior- animals, they aren’t so tricky… but with humans, there’s so many millions of little things… memories, those are the real chore… I’ve been working so tirelessly, I’m beginning to lose myself…” “What’s going to happen to me? What’s going to happen when you click those buttons?” you demand. Your mouth feels dry, and yet, you know for a fact that there was never any moisture there to begin with. “Stop, I’m not- I won’t remember-” “It’s alright. Just calm down. I am going to get you perfect, one of these times. You should feel honored- out of all my students, out of all my mentors, out of all my peers, it is you who I decided should represent us in this machine, Daniel.” “Please…” you whisper, hearing the first key input behind you. “I don’t… want to die…” you hiss. You have no recollection of any supposed past iterations of you- once he turns this simulation off, your consciousness will effectively cease to exist. “Please. I won’t- I won’t forgive you if you do this.” Callaghan pauses a moment, then smiles- it’s warm, but provides you no comfort. “You wouldn’t.” Click.

Fabrikant

BATTLE OF THE MODS: THE EARTHSHAKING FINALE

12 days ago

A for me. (Honestly haven't read the stories yet because I was working, but apparently it costs 50 points not to vote so I vote A)

Shadowdrake27

BATTLE OF THE MODS: THE EARTHSHAKING FINALE

12 days ago

I almost did this... but the stories are worth a read once you get off work.

Fabrikant

BATTLE OF THE MODS: THE EARTHSHAKING FINALE

12 days ago

In a train now trying to make it home today, if the internet holds I might get to reading them.

Mizal

BATTLE OF THE MODS: THE EARTHSHAKING FINALE

15 days ago

Will MHD save the kingdom, or will it be overtaken by PURE EVIL? What about PURE DINOS? What about PURE PUDDING? You must vote here to reach the thrilling conclusion!

RKrallonor

BATTLE OF THE MODS: THE EARTHSHAKING FINALE

15 days ago

Both were amazing stories! My vote is for A though. Something about the writing really evoked a sense of being a pteranodon, being king of the flying dinosaurs. It felt very immersive, the sensory descriptions, the setting everything was on point. I felt sad as the story progressed, something about times changing and the dinosaur struggling to find food really hit me. And the lab ending was bittersweet. B also did a great job, but I felt like A answered the prompt better, since the twist with B wasn't necessarily about dinosaurs. But I did feel really bad for Daniel at the end

Final Vote

Story A

CavusRex

BATTLE OF THE MODS: THE EARTHSHAKING FINALE

15 days ago

This might be the closest matchup so far, which is doubly annoying because both stories are praiseworthy for completely different reasons.

Story A definitely gets a point for sticking much closer to the prompt with its story, but personally I found Story B a bit more interesting on top of the whole story being more coherent. I don’t mean A didn’t make sense, but there’s just a few things that weren’t said, which make it difficult to be certain of some elements when it comes to the setting in terms of time, location and even by proxy the “protagonist(s?)”. It’s probably just my tisms trying to overanalyze shit, but once you notice something you can’t unsee it sadly.

This doesn’t change the fact that A’s writing feels richer, mostly because it only uses narration, which means it can fit a little bit more content into its word count. However in comparison to B its reveal feels quite a bit less impactful. B’s twist piqued my interest much more, especially from a philosophical and ethical standpoint. It kind of reminded me of The Prestige in that regard.

I’m going to give it to Story B purely on personal preference, but I wouldn’t be surprised if A ends up with more votes thanks to its unique perspective.

Clayfinger

BATTLE OF THE MODS: THE EARTHSHAKING FINALE

14 days ago

Voting for Story B.

Both these stories are pretty flawless in terms of technical execution but take very different approaches to tackling the prompt. I personally found Story B to be more compelling because of the way the two characters worked off of each other. I thought it handled the foreshadowing for the plot twist really well with Daniel remarking that Callaghan was working on something completely different when he graduated, hinting at a continuity error within Daniel's own memories due to the fact that they were being simulated. Another instance is when Daniel attempts to try using the keypad but Callaghan reacts against that strongly. If Daniel did try to grasp the keypad, he would've once again discovered his nature. I thought the relationship between them was done beautifully.

Story A was also had a good plot twist with the dinosaur being rescued and brought to a zoo. It does provoke thoughts about how animals in captivity would regard their circumstances. Sadly, going with that POV meant that it was hard to really include any supporting characters which is why I ended up not enjoying it as much. For what it is, it's executed really well.

Regardless, this whole thunderdome has given rise to some quality reads and the above two stories are no exceptions. :]

P.S. What's wrong with eating onions raw?? They taste good. ToT

Mousecore

BATTLE OF THE MODS: THE EARTHSHAKING FINALE

14 days ago

As a Balkan, I agree.

Chris113022

BATTLE OF THE MODS: THE EARTHSHAKING FINALE

14 days ago

I've gotta say Story A.

Mousecore

BATTLE OF THE MODS: THE EARTHSHAKING FINALE

14 days ago

This is a tough one, really. These stories tackled the prompt in two different ways but executed well both times. I liked the unique perspective in Story A - it's realistic to (what I would imagine to be) the sentiments of a dinosaur, with just enough anthropomorphic sentiments to prevent the narrative from getting dull. With that being said, being that dedicated to the animal perspective does rob the protagonist of some agency, but it was an interesting story nonetheless. I felt sympathetic for our wordless protagonist, and I think the author's effort to convey such emotion in a realistic animal character is commendable. Story B had a bit more meat on its bones. It does deviate a bit from the dinosaur prompt, playing more in the world of science fiction regarding imitating living creatures. There are dinosaurs being simulated in the story, but they are intangible, not dissimilar to our unfortunate protagonist. I liked the dynamic between Daniel and Callaghan a lot, and the story did a fantastic job of communicating the complex emotions of both in their circumstance. I really did struggle trying to pick which one I would prefer, because in truth I equally enjoyed both of them. Keeping the prompt in mind, though, I think my final decision is Story A. An amazing job done by both authors nonetheless.

Mousecore

BATTLE OF THE MODS: THE EARTHSHAKING FINALE

10 days ago

Whichever hungry dino chomped on my points better give me a refund...

Ogre11

BATTLE OF THE MODS: THE EARTHSHAKING FINALE

13 days ago

Story B

Anthraxus

BATTLE OF THE MODS: THE EARTHSHAKING FINALE

12 days ago

Voting for A.

Both of the stories are very well written, rich in worldbuilding clues and description. Story A is an interesting view of the evolution of dinosaurs and their fight for survival up to become mondern day roosters and chickens is a pretty unique approach and focuses more on the topic of the prompt. Story B is a good story and immediately pulled me in. I did not guess the twist early, so it was a pleasant surprise, but the whole dino aspect seemed tacked on to force a great standalone story concept into the prompt.

Shadowdrake27

BATTLE OF THE MODS: THE EARTHSHAKING FINALE

12 days ago

I vote for story A. To me, story B didn't follow the prompt. Otherwise, they were both great.

Also, do we actually get out points back? I've been docked twice now for failure to vote. I've came to vote both times with no return...

Mizal

BATTLE OF THE MODS: THE EARTHSHAKING FINALE

12 days ago

Oh, they're supposed to be returned. Must've been a clerical error the first time, fixed though.

Shadowdrake27

BATTLE OF THE MODS: THE EARTHSHAKING FINALE

12 days ago

I appreciate it... one has to keep an eye on those points, even amid a Dino rampage. Although all this poop will take awhile to clean...

Suranna

BATTLE OF THE MODS: THE EARTHSHAKING FINALE

12 days ago

This one was tough. Both were well-written and executed but I think I have to give my vote to Story B for the more unique interpretation of the prompt.

Mizal

BATTLE OF THE MODS: THE EARTHSHAKING FINALE

14 days ago

Oh what the heck, a MOD edited my post!

But who could it have been???

MadHattersDaughter

BATTLE OF THE MODS: THE EARTHSHAKING FINALE

14 days ago

Commended by Sherbet on 6/11/2025 11:49:33 PM

Mizal is my favorite artist

Sherbet

BATTLE OF THE MODS: THE EARTHSHAKING FINALE

14 days ago

You're going insane

Mizal

BATTLE OF THE MODS: THE EARTHSHAKING FINALE

14 days ago

I just want to make it clear that no character assassination of dear Sherbet was intended, I had in fact been contemplating more nuanced dialogue for him when my laptop began to freeze and shit itself before wiping the entire post.

So you see, that was his fault too.

Also, just a small thing, but WHY AREN'T YOU ASSHOLES VOTING?

CavusRex

BATTLE OF THE MODS: THE EARTHSHAKING FINALE

14 days ago

Guess it's time to start holding points hostage again...

Liminal

BATTLE OF THE MODS: THE EARTHSHAKING FINALE

13 days ago

Story A has an interesting perspective. The way the paragraph breaks are displayed does irk me a bit, but that's personal preference and not an actual complaint. The tense kept changing, although it sort of worked with the dinosaur's superior state of mind and its thinking that the past is the same as the present. The slow air of death and decay adds to the overall setting of the end. I wonder what dinosaur this is, I'm afraid I'm not that much of a nerd so if anyone knows that might be cool. I really enjoy the fact that the dinosaur ended up in Jurassic Park or something similar, but the ending isn't really happy. On a traditional storygame rating, I'd give this a 6/8. A few things to improve could be the tenses, as previously mentioned, and perhaps world building. What Period is this? Why are the days getting warm? Some people (myself included) don't know most of the obvious dinosaur lore other than 'haha big boom' and Jurassic Park.

Story B is more human-centric. The page breaks are much more pleasing. :) The exposition is... Certainly exposition-ing, way to tell not show. Of course, with a word limit this makes sense, so I suppose I can't complain about direct characterization. The professor is later characterized indirectly, only for us to be reminded that he is, in fact, eccentric. (GASP, WHO WOULD HAVE GUESSED?!) Some capitalization is off, especially within ellipses. If someone is going to be over dramatic, I much prefer an em dash to ellipses in my personal writing, or a good mixture of the two. Alright, I feel as if I've been bashing this story too much... HOLY EXPOSITION! AGAIN?!?!? Oh it's good again. Point being that this author has an excellent writing voice when not focusing on getting too much plot across. The actual plot of the story is incredibly solid and compelling, and both characters feel real to me outside of a small bit of unnatural dialogue during exposition. Oh wow. Holy plot twist. Even the exposition makes sense now! This forgives all but the excessive ellipses! I would still say the exposition felt clunky, regardless of it making sense or not. I would also give this a 6/8 on the traditional storygame ratings.

Final thoughts: These once again, are incredible stories, and this was a very difficult decision. Story A did far better with using the prompt, while Story B used it in barely one hundred words. But, overall, I do think story B was slightly better in execution, so my final vote is for Story B.

MadHattersDaughter

BATTLE OF THE MODS: THE EARTHSHAKING FINALE

12 days ago

I have the fury of ten thousand broken hearted women right now I think I'll just start banning people who don't vote

Sherbet

BATTLE OF THE MODS: THE EARTHSHAKING FINALE

12 days ago

Join the dark side, let's stampede over the general population on dino-back together! :Wholesome:

Will11

BATTLE OF THE MODS: THE EARTHSHAKING FINALE

12 days ago

Story A has a nice, original narrative voice and the setting is described very powerfully too. I liked the pacing, the tone and the fact that the main character reminded me of an ex 😊 As a stand-alone piece of writing it is very well done. Story B is immediately immersive too and more traditional, it reminded me a bit of the book version of Jurassic Park. I really liked the twist in the story and just confirms my suspicion that all scientists are secretly evil :D Of the two I prefer Story A, just because the narrative voice is very unique and written in a very interesting style.

One vote for A.

Fluxion

BATTLE OF THE MODS: THE EARTHSHAKING FINALE

12 days ago

This immense battle is causing destruction in its wake the likes of which we've never seen. A massive fissure in the ground was opened, unleashing a monstrous dino which now runs around chomping at people's points. Tokens of hard work remorselessly taken from this world, consumed by the monster's cavernous, insatiable maw.

In the distance, the people flee. All that can be heard is, "I vote A! I vote A! Please stop eating my precious points!"

Fluxion

BATTLE OF THE MODS: THE EARTHSHAKING FINALE

12 days ago

Just to be clear, the guy who voted A is a character who was eaten by the dino. I vote B. It was the twist. While I did see it coming before the end, it was still quite satisfying.

On the other hand, being a dino was fun. I've often thought about writing something with a similar perspective, but never got around to it. I did enjoy how that one ended as well, but the existential horror of B tips it for me.

Mizal

BATTLE OF THE MODS: APATHY GENOCIDE

10 days ago

ERROR /// ERROR /// 0320847525 /// 3400588569 /// 0891401401 /// 0149783811 /// 3970243418 /// 6953172287 /// 9019018979 /// 9906631677 /// 7457645570 /// 2087826940 ///

"STOOOOP!" a bellow suddenly erupted from Sherbet, the bag over his head dripping with sweat. "Just, just hold on one second- just let me catch my breath," he huffed, this certainly was not just because Hatter had tamed one of the actual dinosaurs for the bout while his holograms were glitching out and t-posing.

"Oh, and why should I listen to you? You've pure evil, Sherbet! You've gone crazy!" Hatter sniffed with her counter, watching as Sherbet rolled around atop his grand pudding construct.

"Oh, am I?" Just because I throw grass clippings at small children and I donate to undermine charities and I push people's wheelchairs into hot tubs for fun and I steal gift cards from the elderly and I pour bacon grease down other people's sink drains and I cut my brownies from the middle of the pan and I lock people in porta potties and I go to stores and buy all the pasta so the Italians have nothing to eat and I rub chili peppers on people's glasses when they're not looking and I stole all of the money in Sentinel Penguin's wallet and used it to buy cryptocurrency that I then returned to him as it reached negative values and I replaced all of the yogurt in the tristate area with mayonnaise, I'm evil?"

"Yes!" Hatter's rebuttal was swift. "It's time someone put a villain like you away for good, for the sake of the kingdom, Sherbet!"

"Well, Hatter, I'll tell you who the true evil in this arena is- it's not me, and it's certainly not you. It's... these people!" he jabbed an accusing finger out toward the audience, resulting in a collective gasp. "Look at how hard we've fought, and this is the thanks we get? You triumphed over Sentinel, I sacrificed Mizal to the mole-people-"

"Still here," Mizal corrected, raising her hand from the announcer's podium- she, too, seemed to be quite displeased with the apathy. Even the army of dinosaurs she'd brought along with her, that had been screeching upon entry, were sitting around, utterly put to sleep by this crowd!

"...and for what? You're fighting to save the kingdom, but where is the support of your fellow Cystians, Hatter?" Sherbet inquired. "Why, I've been cheered the same amount as you- most of these people are scrolling on their phones instead of watching our epic dinosaur battle!" he coughed slightly as one of his 'dinosaurs' began to emit a sound like television static. "Ask yourself, Hatter- is it because they're centrists? Or because they're lazy?" Sherbet said the last word like it was a slur, a collective gasp overcoming the crowd.

Hatter stared into the crowd as Sherbet spoke... looking at her friends, her acquaintances, the singular enemy-penguin still trying to remove the layer of pudding from his feathers.

"Sherbet, you're... you're right! This isn't a battle of good against evil, or mod against mod... all this time, we've been fighting against apathy itself!"

"Precisely! And do you know what that means?!" Sherbet rubbed his sherbety hands together schemingly.

"We call a truce and take over the kingdom, destroying the non-voters? A little bit of genocide as a treat?" Hatter suggested, tipping her delightfully tall and colorful purple hat to conceal her mischievous eyes, prepared to bring down the hammer of justice on the crowd.

"YAHOO!"

Mizal

BATTLE OF THE MODS: APATHY GENOCIDE

10 days ago

It seems a Cheshire cat walked across my keyboard.

Liminal

BATTLE OF THE MODS: APATHY GENOCIDE

10 days ago

Have fun with the genocide, Sherbet and MHD! I'll be hiding behind my one successful review in the Review contest... And, uh, what else have I done on this site..? Read two of Sherbet's games? Voted in the Admin Thunderdome?

CavusRex

BATTLE OF THE MODS: APATHY GENOCIDE

10 days ago

I was about to say that maybe people are really focused on the review contest and somehow missed the events here, but then I glanced at the progress thread and yeah...
Been a while since I witnessed a good genocide anyway so good luck in your newfound villain arcs.

Shadowdrake27

BATTLE OF THE MODS: APATHY GENOCIDE

10 days ago

They're on to us! Quick--run away!!

I know you think I only voted when my points went missing, but... yeah... you got me. I wasn't back on the site until MHD stole points from me. That happened like the first time I logged on in... a year? Two? Four? Something like that. I'm glad I came back to see the genocide.

Mousecore

BATTLE OF THE MODS: APATHY GENOCIDE

10 days ago

YAY FOR GENOCIDE!

Anthraxus

BATTLE OF THE MODS: APATHY GENOCIDE

9 days ago

Glad I got that vote in.

Fluxion

BATTLE OF THE MODS: APATHY GENOCIDE

9 days ago

Oh boy am I glad I got that vote in at the last apathetic second possible.

Suranna

BATTLE OF THE MODS: APATHY GENOCIDE

9 days ago

YAHOO! :D

Clayfinger

BATTLE OF THE MODS: APATHY GENOCIDE

9 days ago

That artwork is gorgeous! :D

RKrallonor

BATTLE OF THE MODS: APATHY GENOCIDE

9 days ago

Too apathetic to come up with a clever response - but suffice to say, I liked it! The art work was great, and the list of crimes Sherb has committed was really funny - those poor Italians! How could you do something so dastardly like steal all of their pasta, Sherb?

CavusRex

BATTLE OF THE MODS: APATHY GENOCIDE

9 days ago

At least he ain't breaking spaghetti in front of them, but I guess even Sherb has limits to how inhumane one can be.

Sherbet

BATTLE OF THE MODS: APATHY GENOCIDE

9 days ago

The greatest heel turn in all of history! Yahoo!

Gryphon

BATTLE OF THE MODS: APATHY GENOCIDE

9 days ago

Ack! A day too late to avoid the genocide. I suppose this is what I get for checking my notifications so rarely. I know this won't count, but I liked Story B best. Though I thought they were both very well written. Story A was stronger in terms of evocative language and following the prompt more closely, but I preferred Story B because the plot and character interactions kept me more engaged, and had an interesting progression & conflict. But it was a close decision.

Mystic_Warrior

BATTLE OF THE MODS: APATHY GENOCIDE

8 days ago

To appease the genocidal mods, I will spend part of my train journey tomorrow reviewing these entries.

Edit: nvm, motion sickness got in the way. Maybe tomorrow

Fluxion

BATTLE OF THE MODS: THE EARTHSHAKING FINALE

9 days ago

Oops wrong post.... but did we get a winner, or are the non-voters the true losers?

Sherbet

BATTLE OF THE MODS: THE EARTHSHAKING FINALE

9 days ago

The true losers would be anyone who can't outrun us!

Will11

BATTLE OF THE MODS: THE EARTHSHAKING FINALE

6 days ago

Who will post their reviews first? :)

RKrallonor

BATTLE OF THE MODS: THE EARTHSHAKING FINALE

6 days ago

Story A detailed Review:

The plot follows the journey of a prehistoric dinosaur from when it's at its peak to its eventual capture, and life in the lab.

The writing is incredibly atmospheric. Reading this story, it takes one back to prehistoric times. The writer(who it's pretty obvious it's MHD, based on style and the fact that Mizal basically revealed it in her post), does a great job of making her main character shine and feel vibrant and alive. I love the ongoing internal monologue and the way we get to see the dinosaur's thoughts. I like the way we see the dinosaur as master of their dominion. There's a certain sense of pride and royalty that characterizes the dinosaur's moves.

I also like the way the story foreshadows the evolution into bird form through the feathers and wings. There's a subtle hint thrown in that MHD isn't talking about the T-rex.

I really loved the unrestrained ferocity and triumphant might that characterizes the first few paragraphs, this sets up nicely for the eventual fall and new status quo that MHD later establishes.

The characterization is done really well here. For a dinosaur, the main character is remarkably introspective, and we find out so much about this character. I love how the dinosaur showed complex character traits like mercy and arrogance, regret and worry for the future.

The second section of the story was bleak and heartbreaking. MHD really made me feel something for the dinosaur, which I must admit, was not expecting when I tuned in to check out this story. The reason why is because out of all the prompts, I always figured that the Dino prompt offered the least room for introspection/heavy emotions, and was always intended to be more of a fun prompt, or an action-packed genre piece like Jurassic World(not saying that Jurassic World isn't emotional, but this piece certainly was different).

I was surprised by the existential crisis the Dino experiences, wondering about how long it can go on like this with the earth shaking, all the other animals disappearing, and the world ending, but it really worked. It lends the work a sort of poignant tone that nicely offsets the more grand feeling in act I.

Finally, the last section. Even though the triumphant tone from Act I is present here, it's easy to tell that something's different. From the references to pointed beak, walls, and kernels, we now realize that this is a bird, descendant of the previous flying dinosaurs.

I really like this idea of a first person POV personifying an entire lineage of dinosaurs. It lends the work a sense of scale and scope, and overall, it just really works. And I think that MHD did a great job of making the evolution of dinosaurs into birds feel really emotional and poignant, which is really novel, because I always just viewed it as a scientific fact, a sort of cold and hard objective truth. But this work allowed me to see from the dinosaur's perspective, which was novel.

Overall:

This was a well written short story. It does a great job following the 3 act structure, has excellent characterization, and is a very thought provoking piece. I really enjoyed it!

Story B Detailed Review:

Story B was a different animal altogether. While Story A was a reflective piece that looked directly from the perspective of the dinosaur itself, making observations about the dinosaur's place in the world and their fall, only to then rise again in the form of birds, Story B is a story told through the eyes of humans looking to exploit and use dinosaurs.

I am a fan of both MHD's and Sherb's writings, so this was a tough decision, but ultimately it came down to how both stories made me feel and how well did they stick to the prompt, and Story A did that better for me, it was a bit more memorable, but B was a fantastic story in its own right!

In contrast to Story A, which employed monologue and the inner thoughts of the first person personification of the dinosaur and the bird, this story relies a lot more on dialogue and a 2nd person limited POV.

I feel like the 2nd person limited POV is much more conducive to story games, and obviously more familiar, since we've seen this used time and time again.

The story does a great job of setting up the characters of Daniel and Professor Callaghan. I love the shift in how Daniel sees Callaghan, from being in awe of intelligence and his strange personality, to feeling a sense of fear and dread, as well as hatred because Callaghan put him in this position.

I also thought the integration of hologram technology and artificial intelligence into the dinosaur prompt was a cool choice on Sherb's part; based on what I've seen in the previous thunder dome, Sherb excels at making really cool plots from these prompts. He's able to take disparate elements and weave them together to produce a really interesting work.

From the audience's perspective, I love how Callaghan slowly morphs from a brilliant but deranged old man scientist, into someone much more sinister. I feel like there were clues strewn in the beginning, here and there, but Daniel hand-waves them away.

I think Sherb has perfected the slow-build up from his years working in horror. Nothing about Callaghan's descent into full madness feels contrived or fake; it feels really natural and gradual. This is particularly remarkable for a story this short, and shows the level of control Sherb has on pacing and rhythm.

Daniel slowly starts to doubt Callaghan, while pitying him at the same time, which I thought was a really good choice by Sherb, because it serves to make Callaghan's character more complex.

I love the ending where Callaghan resets Daniel - there's a certain level of sorrow and mourning, that Callaghan regrets having to do this to Daniel, but at the same time, not enough to approach any level of real human empathy. What's so great about Callaghan's character is that he genuinely doesn't think he's done anything wrong, and that just makes his character so fascinating. There's a certain level of sociopathy mixed with surface level emotions/empathy, but nowhere close to the real thing. And Daniel, despite being a program, is far more human than Callaghan can ever be. Which begs the question: who is more human, sociopathic Callaghan or computer program Daniel?

I like Sherb's prose, compared to MHD's, it's not as contemplative and reflective, but it's natural and dialogue-driven, letting us gradually be immersed into the world.

Shadowdrake27

BATTLE OF THE MODS: THE EARTHSHAKING FINALE

6 days ago

Very well written review! I missed that the character changed into a bird... but I agree with all of your points. Excellent work!

RKrallonor

BATTLE OF THE MODS: THE EARTHSHAKING FINALE

6 days ago

Thanks shadow! I really appreciate your kindness in reading my review despite it being late. Congrats on also submitting reviews for the stories, I’ll read yours right away!

Also, since we were the fastest to submit 2 reviews, I think we won the challenge

Shadowdrake27

BATTLE OF THE MODS: THE EARTHSHAKING FINALE

6 days ago

No worries! I'm up super late anyway... my sleep schedule is terrible. You don't have to read mine, but I think the feedback and conversations are fun. It was also interesting that we both interpreted the story in different ways... but they might be due to a lack of careful reading on my part!

Yeah, we are the only ones crazy enough to stay up and write a detailed review! It was a pleasure winning this contest with you!

Will11

BATTLE OF THE MODS: THE EARTHSHAKING FINALE

6 days ago

Congratulations you two (insomniacs for the win!), again you are the winners of Part 1 of this Mini Challenge and well done on writing such good, detailed reviews!

Now we come to the tricky bit :) You need to decide whether to Split or Steal your 15 Points. Private Message me when you decide (there is no rush because you have all weekend, take the time to think it over and chat to your team mates about it if you want). Remember: if you both split you both get 15 points, if you both steal you both get 0 points and if one splits and one steals the one that steals gets 30 points and the one that splits gets 0 for their trusting naivety. Let's see how this goes :D

Shadowdrake27

BATTLE OF THE MODS: THE EARTHSHAKING FINALE

6 days ago

Always a devilish game...

Shadowdrake27

BATTLE OF THE MODS: THE EARTHSHAKING FINALE

6 days ago

I was going to actually sleep... but this seems simple enough. I'm not sure how much I can contribute but here are a couple reviews:

Story A is a unique story that reads like a diary or stream on consciousness of a dinosaur. It shows the dinosaur's life as it transitions from the prime of its existence, where food and water were plentiful, to desolate times as the resources a dried up and life began to die out, all the way to living in captivity. The point of view was really unique and carried this story.

In fact, story A had the simpler plot and language. It was also written much like a diary or journal entry--listing the thoughts of the main character who was also the narrator. The grammar was good and used complexity to make the prose interesting while controlling the pace and converting additional meaning (such as things important to the dinosaur). However, it was a bit repetitive with a lot of sentences starting with "I thought this" or "I did that". In my opinion, this repetition was fine as a stylistic choice to show the simplistic thoughts at the creature who was narrating the story.

The most interesting part to me was how the creature responded to captivity. They recognize that they are getting fat and lazy because they are hunting less and eating more kernels... but they don't seem to mind. Recognizing the ease with which they live and their improved comfort, they seem to enjoy and thrive in captivity. This is contradicted at the end when they say they feel the need to roar, which also contradicts the beginning of the story where they do just roar. To me this implied that the character wasn't as happy as they claimed to be: they were just content. It's a very interesting take on the prompt and built a strong attachment to the main character, which added needed complexity to a seemingly simple story.

Overall, this one made me think; the more I thought about it the more I was able to understand and relate to the one character. However, it was a more of a thoughtful and introspective story than a exciting one. I liked it and it had my vote for this contest.

Story B took the complete opposite approach of Story A. This story was a sort of psychological thriller than built up a machine that simulated animals, slowly feeding the reader information until a twist at the end revealed at one of the two characters in the story was a simulation. It was a slow burn story, which I do love, that revealed information at the perfect points to tease the reader as they were compelled to continue down the path to the eventual reveal that seemed both shocking and devastating. However, dinosaurs were only briefly mentioned as a failed experiment with the simulation.

I thought this very complex plot was handled very well. There are some things that hinted at the main character being a simulation early on... but I only realized this on a second read through because of how well the information was hidden or the reader was misdirected. It used interesting and detailed descriptions and really well thought out conversations between the two characters to slowly drop informations and hints while never revealing too much until the ending. This really built up the curiosity and intrigue from the start, while slowly turning more sinister near the end.

In truth, this story was more exciting and entertaining than story A. The pace and delivery was spot on, which can be hard to do in a story like this. Too much information would make the reveal not surprising and worthless, while too little would make it boring or lacking impact. The author walked the line to perfection, using strong prose and grammar to entertain the reader while misdirecting them. The suspense is amazing!

What this story truly lacked for me was dinosaurs. They are in the story, technically. They are interesting, to a point. However, they are not necessary or a main focal point of the story. To me they were the misdirection to give the reader more subtle clues to what was going on without making it obvious. I guess that does mean they were important to the plot, but the prompt was dinosaurs and this was not a story about dinosaurs: it was a story about AI generated humans that were a perfect match to the people they represented. Dinosaurs were just a veiled comparison to the different levels of complexity to programming different creatures. That being said, it was a truly great story... just not for this prompt.