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Shit CoGites say

one month ago

Well while we continue to wait for the final scores of our biggest CYS contest ever here (EDIT: we already got the results), we haven't had a good old fashioned "Let's laugh at the CoGites!" (And especially the company which seems determined to alienate their own fanbase at every opportunity) thread in awhile so here's one now.

Apparently the sexual experience of text waifus are SERIOUS fucking business.

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This is all just Lol.

Mainly because this is CoG and this shit is boringly predictable anyway so why even worry about it? Love Interest characters generally just go along with you as long as you don't horribly betray them or something.

Seriously, there's never a case in any where the main character tries to turn a hoe into a housewife and after sex, she says something like "Yeah, that fucking sucked. You obviously don't know what you're doing and this ain't gonna work out. Later."

If there actually WAS something like that, that would at least be more interesting.

Oh and apparently there's some CoG game where you can actually asked to be CUCKED. Predictably many CoGites picked this and then hilariously got angry about the results.

Well as they say, play stupid games, win stupid prizes.

There was also a question posed recently if CoG games were focused towards males. Yeah, beta males. Lol.

Shit CoGites say

one month ago

Wait... Is this a CoG incel?

"I accept only the purest of waifus! No way am I sticking my dick in a Stacey! That Revna bitch has probably fucked so many Chads, it'd be like throwing a hotdog down a hallway."

Shit CoGites say

one month ago

Honestly that's paling in comparison to the whole cuck thing that I guess some CoG game called War for the West has going on.

Actually getting a choice asking to be cucked. Then readers getting pissed about it when she cheats on them.

Just Lol.

Shit CoGites say

one month ago

The outrage! I mean it's not like they can just play the game again and... You know... Choose not to get cucked?

Shit CoGites say

one month ago

I don't think CoGites know what "choices" are. I mean, just look at Paradox's story.

Shit CoGites say

one month ago
War For The West is fucking great. The cuckoldry is there but it's just for laughs. You get downright shamed for it if you get caught.

Shit CoGites say

one month ago
Paying money for a textual simulation of a Chad stealing your Stacy, dreaming longingly of the day you'll finally have a girlfriend to belittle you while she bangs another man in real life.

That or becoming enraged because this text woman was SUPPOSED to be virginal and loyal and pure enough to refuse. There is no in between.

Shit CoGites say

one month ago

Apparently someone got triggered over the term "normal pizza" in a text because it implied that veggie pizza wasn't normal and that was offensive to vegetarians so the author changed it.

Lol.

Shit CoGites say

one month ago

That... Might just be the most hilarious thing I've ever heard.

Though I am curious what is considered "normal pizza"... Pepperoni?

Shit CoGites say

one month ago
If pepperoni is normal pizza, then what is plain margarita? Extra normal?

Shit CoGites say

one month ago

Nah, that's one of those weird, unnatural vegetarian pizzas.

Shit CoGites say

one month ago

What does RO mean in this context?

Shit CoGites say

one month ago
Romance Option It's the thing in CoG games where there are many vending machines, and you put coins in one with the pronouns of your liking until the number goes high enough that sex falls out.

Shit CoGites say

one month ago

Thanks. Man, I know that CoG is monetized, so your reply just made me think of a sick monetization scheme where the reader has to buy those coins with real money and then spend those coins in order to unlock characters and read the sex scenes. I hope you hadn't meant it literally.

Shit CoGites say

one month ago

I think it's more a case of:

Shit CoGites say

one month ago

This one was so cringe even other CoGites didn't want to put up with her.

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Banned of course. Lol.

Shit CoGites say

one month ago
Not a fan of punctuation, I see. I wonder how she even managed to write those "books" she made claim to.

Shit CoGites say

one month ago

... I would say this is, without a doubt, the least cute pie I have ever seen.

Shit CoGites say

one month ago
I for one see it as a good thing that a person that heavily medicated is safely at home doing vague incomprehensible whining on an internet forum, instead of driving on a road, looking after small children, etc.

Shit CoGites say

29 days ago

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Lol.

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Just Lol.

Shit CoGites say

28 days ago
Balance of Superpower 1
Washington D.C., 2075. You are a superpowered person at an academy for augmented people like you, but mastering your powers and making friends is hard, let alone when villains are about to strike. Balance of Superpower is a 67,000-word interactive sci-fi romance novel by Rustem Khafizov. It’s entirely text-based, without graphics or sound effects, and fueled by the vast, unstoppable power of your imagination. You are Rio Ramirez — a non-binary person with the power of perfect balance, but do those powers extend to balancing school, love, and villain-fighting adventures? Will you date a girl whose body is made of an indestructible substance, or a guy whose powers randomize everything around him? Each route you choose leads to a different, unique adventure: will you go to the Moon, or chase a superpowered serial killer?
  • Play as Rio Ramirez, a non-binary superpowered person.
  • Determine their personality! Will they be extroverted and emotional or introverted and stoic?
  • Raise your heroic stats. Will you be a hero who values stealth, a skilled fighter or a hero who offers support to their allies?
  • Befriend or date one of the eight other students.
  • Ten unique endings, including a secret one.
  • A deep, carefully-crafted world of superpowered individuals with lots of lore.
Can you bring balance to the world on the brink of a civil war?
Balance of Superpower 2: Tricentennial
You are a superpowered person (augmented) studying at an academy for those like you and regular humans. You will join a team of aspiring heroes and be forced to compete with the other team of students for the chance to graduate as official superheroes. You will attend classes, fight supervillains, go on wacky adventures and, of course, befriend or romance one of your fellow students! :slight_smile: The beta version of the game is 600,000 words long without code and over 700,000 words with code (making it ten times bigger than the first game!). The average playthrough length is over 50,000 words! Features:
  • Two distinct storylines depending on the protagonist chosen!
  • 20 romanceable characters: 12 for Rio and 9 for the new character!
  • A rainbow of tones as the ROs have their own unique adventures which vary from light-hearted and campy to dark and disturbing!
  • 50+ colorful character portraits!
  • Option to design your own distinct heroic outfit!
  • Many heroes to meet, many villains to fight, and many places to see!
  • The options to become an anti-hero or a villain instead of being a superhero!
Behold his magnum opus (opuses, opera, opi?)! As one can see, the sequel contains not just one, but two author self-inserts and 600k words! (Clearly a massive improvement over the first game which only has a meager 67k words and one author self-insert.) I've never read an IF where I get to go to superhero school, have to fight an alliterative supervillain team, and romance rainbows! Rustem Kharfikov is setting a new standard for IF, and I eagerly await Balance of Superpower 6: Decamillenial! The Hero Project was boring as hell. Uninteresting plot. Bland characters. Typical CoG shit. But, THP is a furry's wet power fantasy. Dude must be getting bullied a lot irl to say everyone that dislikes it has a hate-boner for it.

Shit CoGites say

28 days ago

For a second there, I thought he was talking about his own game, which would have been exceptionally CoGish. As it is... I'm going to give him the benefit of the doubt and assume he was exaggerating. Even if he wasn't though, I'd say this is probably one of the least insane things I've seen a CoGite say. Good thing CutiePie got banned or she'd probably be in the forum complaining that her superhero character didn't have the exact superhero powers that she wanted, and throwing a huge hissy fit about it.

As for The Hero Project... I was about to defend the game and say that I actually really enjoyed it. Then I double checked and realized that the game I was thinking of was Community College Hero, and I've never played The Hero Project in my life, so... Carry on. ^_^

Shit CoGites say

28 days ago

Super hero shit in general seems to be popular at Cog, must be the whole idea of running around in colorful gay ass spandex.

Shit CoGites say

28 days ago

It's weird when I think about it and realize that Batman (who runs around in some kind of bat-eared gimp suit) probably has the least gay superhero outfit. ^_^

Shit CoGites say

27 days ago

The limp wristed hand of the CoGopo is still silencing dissent on all their platforms.

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Shit CoGites say

27 days ago

Good to know that the mods are working hard to keep the forums safe from all those pesky fans wanting to talk about popular games that the company directly profits from. ^_^

Shit CoGites say

27 days ago

The great thing about all this is I've got a whole new source where I get these tidbits. No need to even look at anything CoG related directly at all. (Not that I was really doing it for years now anyway)

Shit CoGites say

27 days ago

It took me an embarrassingly long time to put together cogite and choice of games llc

Shit CoGites say

27 days ago
"Moderators remove posts... (to keep) communities safe..."

Because words are, apparently, dangerous and deadly

Shit CoGites say

26 days ago
How profitable is this company anyway?

Shit CoGites say

26 days ago

Fortunately for them CoGites tend to be a masochistic lot and will still continue to buy shit despite abuse. Hell, they've banned some really pathetically weak willed authors that for some strange reason still publish with them despite getting banned.

Though that hasn't really been working out as well lately given all the defections to Twine and such.

Shit CoGites say

26 days ago
For as long as the foolish exist, they will be exploited. It is their purpose.

Shit CoGites say

8 days ago

Looks like even some of the CoG pirates don't like their shit.

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Shit CoGites say

7 days ago

Love how the second guy began by calmly trying to reason with the first guy, then ended his comment by explaining all the reasons why the first guy should kill himself. ^_^

Shit CoGites say

2 days ago

Where is this even from?

Shit CoGites say

2 days ago

I think that was from sbenny.

Shit CoGites say

2 days ago

Welps, considering I've already bought like 40+ games, too late to pirate now. At least there's no chance the cops will go busting down my door.

Shit CoGites say

2 days ago

"I've already bought like 40+ games" -DingDong

Thanks for contributing to the thread directly. Lol.

 

Shit CoGites say

2 days ago

Ey, it ain't my fault! All of them were before I actually discovered how Jason's quite a prick. Like, I know he was already a bit of a prick, but not QUITE a prick, y'know what I mean?

Also, just checked sbenny. Couldn't find those posts.

Shit CoGites say

2 days ago

I figured it was sbenny since piracy was being discussed in the KAE discord and someone posted this screenshot. They didn't link to it, so maybe it's some other pirate site.

Shit CoGites say

2 days ago
Sbenny is run by retards. They took down all of the CoG/HG games down because Jason finally realized the DMCA exists. IIRC, sbenny profited from the "mods" since you had to buy the games with their worthless digital currency (sbucks or something like that). You had to buy the fake money to pay for the pirated game. I checked it out when they originally bitched about it on CoG and noped the fuck out when I realized I'd have to pay for a pirated game.

Shit CoGites say

2 days ago
There are plenty of sites you can legally download the apks and It's Not That Hard to edit them. Shit, just download CSIDE from the CoG forums for that. Nobody is going to bust down your door for downloading an apk and nobody gives a shit if you pirate CoG/HG games except CoG/HG people.

Shit CoGites say

2 days ago

Bitch, you even look at a pirated Tally Ho, I cut you! >.<

Shit CoGites say

2 days ago
She can't call herself a pirate without an eyepatch anyway.

Shit CoGites say

2 days ago
I'd probably look retarded with a monocle and eyepatch.

Shit CoGites say

2 days ago

Gower said it's okay to pirate as long as you aren't telling him about it.

Shit CoGites say

2 days ago

Well if more CoGs were like this, they might suck less.

https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/764417773983367169/1009625521203707964/Screen_Shot_2022-08-17_at_8.47.21_PM.png

Major points off for having a restart choice rather than ending the game though.

Shit CoGites say

yesterday

LMAO! Which game is this? ^_^

Shit CoGites say

yesterday

I dunno, someone just posted it and never mentioned what game it was from. I'm going to guess it was something not complete yet.

EDIT: Some game called "Departure."