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Shit CoGites say

one year ago

Well while we continue to wait for the final scores of our biggest CYS contest ever here (EDIT: we already got the results), we haven't had a good old fashioned "Let's laugh at the CoGites!" (And especially the company which seems determined to alienate their own fanbase at every opportunity) thread in awhile so here's one now.

Apparently the sexual experience of text waifus are SERIOUS fucking business.

This is all just Lol.

Mainly because this is CoG and this shit is boringly predictable anyway so why even worry about it? Love Interest characters generally just go along with you as long as you don't horribly betray them or something.

Seriously, there's never a case in any where the main character tries to turn a hoe into a housewife and after sex, she says something like "Yeah, that fucking sucked. You obviously don't know what you're doing and this ain't gonna work out. Later."

If there actually WAS something like that, that would at least be more interesting.

Oh and apparently there's some CoG game where you can actually asked to be CUCKED. Predictably many CoGites picked this and then hilariously got angry about the results.

Well as they say, play stupid games, win stupid prizes.

There was also a question posed recently if CoG games were focused towards males. Yeah, beta males. Lol.

Shit CoGites say

one year ago

Wait... Is this a CoG incel?

"I accept only the purest of waifus! No way am I sticking my dick in a Stacey! That Revna bitch has probably fucked so many Chads, it'd be like throwing a hotdog down a hallway."

Shit CoGites say

one year ago

Honestly that's paling in comparison to the whole cuck thing that I guess some CoG game called War for the West has going on.

Actually getting a choice asking to be cucked. Then readers getting pissed about it when she cheats on them.

Just Lol.

Shit CoGites say

one year ago

The outrage! I mean it's not like they can just play the game again and... You know... Choose not to get cucked?

Shit CoGites say

one year ago

I don't think CoGites know what "choices" are. I mean, just look at Paradox's story.

Shit CoGites say

one year ago
War For The West is fucking great. The cuckoldry is there but it's just for laughs. You get downright shamed for it if you get caught.

Shit CoGites say

one year ago
Paying money for a textual simulation of a Chad stealing your Stacy, dreaming longingly of the day you'll finally have a girlfriend to belittle you while she bangs another man in real life.

That or becoming enraged because this text woman was SUPPOSED to be virginal and loyal and pure enough to refuse. There is no in between.

Shit CoGites say

one year ago

Apparently someone got triggered over the term "normal pizza" in a text because it implied that veggie pizza wasn't normal and that was offensive to vegetarians so the author changed it.

Lol.

Shit CoGites say

one year ago

That... Might just be the most hilarious thing I've ever heard.

Though I am curious what is considered "normal pizza"... Pepperoni?

Shit CoGites say

one year ago
If pepperoni is normal pizza, then what is plain margarita? Extra normal?

Shit CoGites say

one year ago

Nah, that's one of those weird, unnatural vegetarian pizzas.

Shit CoGites say

one year ago

What does RO mean in this context?

Shit CoGites say

one year ago
Romance Option It's the thing in CoG games where there are many vending machines, and you put coins in one with the pronouns of your liking until the number goes high enough that sex falls out.

Shit CoGites say

one year ago

Thanks. Man, I know that CoG is monetized, so your reply just made me think of a sick monetization scheme where the reader has to buy those coins with real money and then spend those coins in order to unlock characters and read the sex scenes. I hope you hadn't meant it literally.

Shit CoGites say

one year ago

I think it's more a case of:

Shit CoGites say

one year ago

This one was so cringe even other CoGites didn't want to put up with her.

Banned of course. Lol.

Shit CoGites say

one year ago
Not a fan of punctuation, I see. I wonder how she even managed to write those "books" she made claim to.

Shit CoGites say

one year ago

... I would say this is, without a doubt, the least cute pie I have ever seen.

Shit CoGites say

one year ago
I for one see it as a good thing that a person that heavily medicated is safely at home doing vague incomprehensible whining on an internet forum, instead of driving on a road, looking after small children, etc.

Shit CoGites say

one year ago

Lol.

Just Lol.

Shit CoGites say

one year ago
Balance of Superpower 1
Washington D.C., 2075. You are a superpowered person at an academy for augmented people like you, but mastering your powers and making friends is hard, let alone when villains are about to strike. Balance of Superpower is a 67,000-word interactive sci-fi romance novel by Rustem Khafizov. It’s entirely text-based, without graphics or sound effects, and fueled by the vast, unstoppable power of your imagination. You are Rio Ramirez — a non-binary person with the power of perfect balance, but do those powers extend to balancing school, love, and villain-fighting adventures? Will you date a girl whose body is made of an indestructible substance, or a guy whose powers randomize everything around him? Each route you choose leads to a different, unique adventure: will you go to the Moon, or chase a superpowered serial killer?
  • Play as Rio Ramirez, a non-binary superpowered person.
  • Determine their personality! Will they be extroverted and emotional or introverted and stoic?
  • Raise your heroic stats. Will you be a hero who values stealth, a skilled fighter or a hero who offers support to their allies?
  • Befriend or date one of the eight other students.
  • Ten unique endings, including a secret one.
  • A deep, carefully-crafted world of superpowered individuals with lots of lore.
Can you bring balance to the world on the brink of a civil war?
Balance of Superpower 2: Tricentennial
You are a superpowered person (augmented) studying at an academy for those like you and regular humans. You will join a team of aspiring heroes and be forced to compete with the other team of students for the chance to graduate as official superheroes. You will attend classes, fight supervillains, go on wacky adventures and, of course, befriend or romance one of your fellow students! :slight_smile: The beta version of the game is 600,000 words long without code and over 700,000 words with code (making it ten times bigger than the first game!). The average playthrough length is over 50,000 words! Features:
  • Two distinct storylines depending on the protagonist chosen!
  • 20 romanceable characters: 12 for Rio and 9 for the new character!
  • A rainbow of tones as the ROs have their own unique adventures which vary from light-hearted and campy to dark and disturbing!
  • 50+ colorful character portraits!
  • Option to design your own distinct heroic outfit!
  • Many heroes to meet, many villains to fight, and many places to see!
  • The options to become an anti-hero or a villain instead of being a superhero!
Behold his magnum opus (opuses, opera, opi?)! As one can see, the sequel contains not just one, but two author self-inserts and 600k words! (Clearly a massive improvement over the first game which only has a meager 67k words and one author self-insert.) I've never read an IF where I get to go to superhero school, have to fight an alliterative supervillain team, and romance rainbows! Rustem Kharfikov is setting a new standard for IF, and I eagerly await Balance of Superpower 6: Decamillenial! The Hero Project was boring as hell. Uninteresting plot. Bland characters. Typical CoG shit. But, THP is a furry's wet power fantasy. Dude must be getting bullied a lot irl to say everyone that dislikes it has a hate-boner for it.

Shit CoGites say

one year ago

For a second there, I thought he was talking about his own game, which would have been exceptionally CoGish. As it is... I'm going to give him the benefit of the doubt and assume he was exaggerating. Even if he wasn't though, I'd say this is probably one of the least insane things I've seen a CoGite say. Good thing CutiePie got banned or she'd probably be in the forum complaining that her superhero character didn't have the exact superhero powers that she wanted, and throwing a huge hissy fit about it.

As for The Hero Project... I was about to defend the game and say that I actually really enjoyed it. Then I double checked and realized that the game I was thinking of was Community College Hero, and I've never played The Hero Project in my life, so... Carry on. ^_^

Shit CoGites say

one year ago

Super hero shit in general seems to be popular at Cog, must be the whole idea of running around in colorful gay ass spandex.

Shit CoGites say

one year ago

It's weird when I think about it and realize that Batman (who runs around in some kind of bat-eared gimp suit) probably has the least gay superhero outfit. ^_^

Shit CoGites say

one year ago

The limp wristed hand of the CoGopo is still silencing dissent on all their platforms.

Shit CoGites say

one year ago

Good to know that the mods are working hard to keep the forums safe from all those pesky fans wanting to talk about popular games that the company directly profits from. ^_^

Shit CoGites say

one year ago

The great thing about all this is I've got a whole new source where I get these tidbits. No need to even look at anything CoG related directly at all. (Not that I was really doing it for years now anyway)

Shit CoGites say

one year ago

It took me an embarrassingly long time to put together cogite and choice of games llc

Shit CoGites say

one year ago
"Moderators remove posts... (to keep) communities safe..."

Because words are, apparently, dangerous and deadly

Shit CoGites say

one year ago
How profitable is this company anyway?

Shit CoGites say

one year ago

Fortunately for them CoGites tend to be a masochistic lot and will still continue to buy shit despite abuse. Hell, they've banned some really pathetically weak willed authors that for some strange reason still publish with them despite getting banned.

Though that hasn't really been working out as well lately given all the defections to Twine and such.

Shit CoGites say

one year ago
For as long as the foolish exist, they will be exploited. It is their purpose.

Shit CoGites say

one year ago

Looks like even some of the CoG pirates don't like their shit.

Shit CoGites say

one year ago

Love how the second guy began by calmly trying to reason with the first guy, then ended his comment by explaining all the reasons why the first guy should kill himself. ^_^

Shit CoGites say

one year ago

Where is this even from?

Shit CoGites say

one year ago

I think that was from sbenny.

Shit CoGites say

one year ago

Welps, considering I've already bought like 40+ games, too late to pirate now. At least there's no chance the cops will go busting down my door.

Shit CoGites say

one year ago

"I've already bought like 40+ games" -DingDong

Thanks for contributing to the thread directly. Lol.

 

Shit CoGites say

one year ago

Ey, it ain't my fault! All of them were before I actually discovered how Jason's quite a prick. Like, I know he was already a bit of a prick, but not QUITE a prick, y'know what I mean?

Also, just checked sbenny. Couldn't find those posts.

Shit CoGites say

one year ago

I figured it was sbenny since piracy was being discussed in the KAE discord and someone posted this screenshot. They didn't link to it, so maybe it's some other pirate site.

Shit CoGites say

one year ago
Sbenny is run by retards. They took down all of the CoG/HG games down because Jason finally realized the DMCA exists. IIRC, sbenny profited from the "mods" since you had to buy the games with their worthless digital currency (sbucks or something like that). You had to buy the fake money to pay for the pirated game. I checked it out when they originally bitched about it on CoG and noped the fuck out when I realized I'd have to pay for a pirated game.

Shit CoGites say

one year ago
There are plenty of sites you can legally download the apks and It's Not That Hard to edit them. Shit, just download CSIDE from the CoG forums for that. Nobody is going to bust down your door for downloading an apk and nobody gives a shit if you pirate CoG/HG games except CoG/HG people.

Shit CoGites say

one year ago

Bitch, you even look at a pirated Tally Ho, I cut you! >.<

Shit CoGites say

one year ago
She can't call herself a pirate without an eyepatch anyway.

Shit CoGites say

one year ago
I'd probably look retarded with a monocle and eyepatch.

Shit CoGites say

one year ago

Gower said it's okay to pirate as long as you aren't telling him about it.

Shit CoGites say

one year ago

Well if more CoGs were like this, they might suck less.

Major points off for having a restart choice rather than ending the game though.

Shit CoGites say

one year ago

LMAO! Which game is this? ^_^

Shit CoGites say

one year ago

I dunno, someone just posted it and never mentioned what game it was from. I'm going to guess it was something not complete yet.

EDIT: Some game called "Departure."

Shit CoGites say

one year ago

So remember a few posts up about people getting triggered about veggie pizza being described "offensively" in a game?

Yep, CoG just loses authors to Twine left and right nowadays. Lol

Shit CoGites say

one year ago

Shit CoGites say

one year ago

@Avery_Moore

Apparently this withdraw from CoG I'm told is similar to the situation you had in that they had a complete game ready, but CoG fucked around and just lost it by treating the author like trash.

Shit CoGites say

one year ago

Daymn. Wonder what happened with this guy.

I did have one game published under Hosted Games, and everything went well with that, but I think they've gone through some changes in staff since I left. No idea what the experience is for a modern day Choice Script author, but judging by the amount of authors jumping ship, I'm guessing not great.

Didn't actually have any communication with Jason when I was publishing The Dryad's Riddle. Don't think he has all that much to do with Hosted Games, so I'm wondering if the "unprofessionalism" comes from a staff member that I've never dealt with, or if there's some forum related drama going on behind the scenes.

Shit CoGites say

one year ago

At this point, I just feel like there should be a CoG survivors meeting where all the former authors come together and share how CoG fucked them over.

Shit CoGites say

one year ago

There's kind of all these little communities like that now. They're just not really unified, lot of Tumblrs and such.

Shit CoGites say

one year ago



That Samurai series still keepin it classy. On the forum there's been people complaining about how the games really want to to sex up the child, the MC just keps repeatedly thinking about it and also having sexual thoughts about their psycho abusive ex even when the player gives every related choice a hard no over and over again every single time. (Although looking at polls and things it seems many of the readers find the psycho hawt, I guess that's the Semra effect at work.)

But remember how Jason made a big show of pretending Price of Freedom, as a non gorey story about teenage gladiators was too sickening in concept to even consider reading or publishing (after he'd already agreed to publish it) and that Avery was some kind of monster for writing it?

Seems like there's some kind of moral lesson here, but I can't quite put my finger on it.

Shit CoGites say

one year ago

He also told everyone that Price of Freedom contains "child sexual abuse" which it does not contain, nor did I ever say anything to suggest that it did.

Shit CoGites say

one year ago

Well that's CoG, making you pay to get raped.

At least around here we'll rape you for free!

Shit CoGites say

one year ago

Suicidal Sammy crawled back to suck my dick and is making me money again, focus on his shitty wannabe edgelord game instead! - Jason

Shit CoGites say

one year ago
Sammy couldn't make money selling his ass on Tales so he had to crawl back to his pimp. Anyway, he gets out of CoG prison on the 29th of this month. One of the staff, Kai-something-or-another, posted a WIP thread for him back in January, so Jason's been warming the bed for that long at least. Publishing it shortly before Sammy-boy gets out must be Jason's way of popping open the champagne.

Shit CoGites say

one year ago

I didn't even realize Sammy was banned. What was it he got banned for? "Disagreeing with mods" or some equally bullshit excuse, or did he actually do something ban worthy?

Shit CoGites say

one year ago

He's like been banned a couple times and in his case it was legit since he'd throw tantrums on the forums whenever things weren't going his way. One thing he'd also do a lot is make sock puppet accounts to praise his own posts or something similar.

Probably one of the biggest thing he did was he got busted for talking shit about a staff member on a discord. Said one of the tranny mods was blowing Jason or something to get the job. That got leaked on the forums

"Who the fuck posted that? Great, I might as well kill myself now." - Suicidal Sammy

So then he tried to do damage control by attempting frame Mara with poorly made screenshots. But he and his buddies even bungled that since the screen shots had some of their conversation about framing Mara in them. Lol.

Also at the time he pissing and moaning about his wannabe edgelord game not being accepted and some other author calling him all sorts of bigots/misogynists over there and a few of his buddies started harassing the other author.

Though CoG nowadays is so desperate for money that they've started just publishing anything nowadays thanks to a lot of authors going to Twine/itchio. Hence why they've probably allowed Sammy back in. Not to mention he apparently cut out some of the edgier content anyway.

So basically being an all round cringy faggot as usual.

Anyway, there's more detail in the HATE archives.

Shit CoGites say

one year ago

Oh yeah, completely forgot about that! Poor Mara. What they try to frame her for? Was she the one that leaked it or something?

Shit CoGites say

one year ago
She talks funny and sometimes in all caps.

Shit CoGites say

one year ago

Oh, well in that case, throw the bitch to the wolves! ^_^

Shit CoGites say

one year ago

Even Jesus thinks Sammy's a cringy faggot.

Shit CoGites say

one year ago

Lol, not even one of CoG's top authors (The Samurai Pedophile Guy) likes their shit.

Shit CoGites say

one year ago

Glad to see the NFT shills are still hearing about Jason's great idea of payment.

Shit CoGites say

one year ago

So one thing that's been going on in the ever splintering CoG kingdom is their newer games have been featuring shitty artwork. Worse, this is often the case of the author of said game not even having any say over the artwork they want used (if at all).

Complaints on that front have been rolling in and Bad King Jason had this response:

Nevermind the fact that CoG fans have been asking for a save feature for YEARS.

Lol.

Shit CoGites say

one year ago
Gotta sell those units.

Shit CoGites say

one year ago

A true Cogite leader folks.

Shit CoGites say

one year ago

Pretty sure R. Kelly wrote a song called "Age ain't nothing but a number" ... Which was then performed by his 15 year old lover. Solid advice there. ^_^

Shit CoGites say

one year ago
There’s a story called I, The Forgotten One where you’re the bastard son and help your queen sister win the civil war cause your some type of grown up child soldier. Somebody wrote an entire fanfic about them falling in love. AND HAD PEOPLE CLAIMING IT SHOULD BE ADDED TO THE STORY.

Shit CoGites say

one year ago

Writing fanfic of something and then demanding it should be canon is some hilarious shit.

Shit CoGites say

one year ago

Bollocks to that! Semra x Suzy 4eva!!! ^_^

Shit CoGites say

one year ago
So CoG is raising prices on all their games.

Sales have slowed down because people are broke, so Jason's answer was to raise prices of these easy to pirate products even more and blame inflation.

Remember they don't pay editors or artists or anything for the hosted games, that's all on the author.

So the "inflation" I guess is in the costs of clicking the publish button on someone else's work.

He really should just stick to inflating his girlfriend imo, but we'll see how that works out for the community. I don't think the writers will be being paid any extra.

Shit CoGites say

one year ago

Can't say it's too surprising when they're advertising shit like an eldritch horror game based on what genders you can play as and who you can romance.

Talk about missing the whole fucking point of playing as an eldritch horror.

Shit CoGites say

one year ago

 

Play as male, female, or nonbinary
You can be trans, cis, gay, straight, bi, ace, partnering aro, or choose to stay single.
Pursue romance with a headstrong waitress, a moody store clerk, a mystifying newcomer, or an unconventional cult leader.
Four monogamous routes, and one polyamorous route.

Will you break free from your prison of flesh?

 


This is some serious bait and switch lol.

 

 

Shit CoGites say

one year ago
Oh, and this author is apparently only getting paid based on the first week of sales.

I'm reading some pretty amazing things about Jason's policy of screwing over foreign writers. South Americans get especially hosed it seems.

Shit CoGites say

one year ago

Huh? Paid based on the first week of sales? How does that work? I thought CoG always paid the author a certain percentage of the sales revenue.

Shit CoGites say

one year ago

I hate it when games/stories do that polyamory stuff, it always feels too much like wish fulfillment. 

Shit CoGites say

one year ago
You can assign biological genders and sexualities to other characters in most of these games. Love interests as faceless sex mannequins with interchangeable parts that exist only for you, the player, are the most normal thing ever, I think wish fulfillment is a given.

Shit CoGites say

one year ago
Is that the tar monster from Scooby Doo? So many possibilities when it comes to eldritch monsters and all the artist and/or whoever commissioned the art could think of is a humanoid tar monster.

Shit CoGites say

one year ago

So apparently on top of fucking this Passenger guy over money wise in only getting paid for the first week, they also didn't bother advertising it very well as someone pointed out in another game thread.

Silencing your clients? Sure thing!

Lol

Shit CoGites say

one year ago
I hate when an administrator, or any business entity, censors something and flags it as an act of the "community."

Shit CoGites say

one year ago

lol

Shit CoGites say

one year ago
Goddamn it, that intro blurb and cover art sound sick as fuck.

Shit CoGites say

one year ago
Well those things are apparently pretty misleading--it's not really a horror game at all--but I don't believe the author had any control over that.

At any rate it's obviously in Jason's interest for the game to do poorly the first week so I'm not surprised they're not advertising it.

Shit CoGites say

one year ago

Apparently that thread is turning into a minor shit show. 

Shit CoGites say

one year ago
If it was so horrible, why did CoG agree to publish it in that state then?

Shit CoGites say

one year ago

Shit CoGites say

one year ago
Thanks Obama

Shit CoGites say

one year ago
Will Gower be getting paid more? I don't see how this will lead to anything but less sales tbh, $12 is a price where most would hesitate and start considering their many other options,....even $8 is when looking at all these series's that the authors are claiming will be 5 or 6 parts.

And I still don't understand where inflation comes in here. What costs in this purely digital process are getting inflated?

Shit CoGites say

one year ago

So apparently this Russian alphabet person that wrote some gay superhero shit that everyone hates came back to CoG and he got mobbed again.

Lol, fag.

Well as you can expect the overzealous CoG mods deleted all the "mean" posts as is typical of their operating procedure over there.

The KAE folks hilariously REALLY hate the guy, though he just seems like another overly sensitive CoGite faggot that just writes boring faggy romance shit like the rest. Can't really tell one from another over there.

It's like why read the shit, if you already know it's going to be shit and expecting a different result.

Cyclonis might be a minor CYStian character, but his actor really nailed this line:

Shit CoGites say

one year ago
I'm proud of this community for many things, but driving out all the fragile "NICE COMMENTS ONLY" babies is one of the best things we ever did and the biggest factor allowing us to keep our integrity as a writing site.