Entry in End Master's Prompt Contest 4
Prompt: "a story heavily driven by a love/hate relationship with the antagonist"

A long time ago in a land far, far more gay...

Sir Channing is a knight under rule of King Thom. His successes and failures, as well as every decision between, have more impact on the fate of Thigomisat than he may ever know.

And of course, all of those decisions depend on you.

S'pose you could call it a prequel.

There are 13 total epilogues, one of which claims to be the "true" ending.

Obligatory content warning: Some paths contain vivid depictions of violence, horror, and gayness. If any of these will traumatize you, just rate it an eight and move on with your day. :P

Thank you so, so much to all y'all who gave me encouragement and proofread/playtested. You know who you are.

Your lesbian little sister died horribly because her gay crush fucked her over, but that’s not stopping you from taking up the rainbow flag in her honor.

Welcome to another addition to the iconic Gay and Depressed series (shoutout to queenlatifa04 for the amazing original!!). Speaking of the original, read that masterpiece by clicking this link here.

It's worth mentioning that this is a direct sequel, and the sister mentioned is the MC in the original.

I would also like to point out that some of the more strange aspects of this tale (such as the names of the pages, tone of the story, and several of the endings) are designed as they are to keep the same style as the original.

Second place entry in EndMaster’s Prompt Contest 2
Not to mention a glowing review from End: "Fresh's story is pretty funny"

You see them all the time— serial killers, zombie outbreaks, nuclear fallouts. Of course, you always see them on a movie screen or the pages of a book. Not me.
Hi, I’m Teshi. I play the comedic relief in all your favorite tales of the apocalypse! It’s the best role because if I die, the fans will have the head of the lead scriptwriter. I consider myself pretty well-protected.
That is until all of that goes kerplooey.

Fourth place entry in Sherbet's Summer's End Synergy Contest

Special thanks to:
goodnight_a for proofreading and playtesting
TypewriterCat for playtesting (though that's not what she intended it to be) and for words of encouragement
My irl friends for proofreading, playtesting, and letting me work in peace

This story is about Mammon, a promising young boy whose life gets cut short by his father. But for Mammon, this is not the end of the road; it is simply an unforeseen and abrupt turn.

Mammon awakens to find himself a ghost, and must decide what to with his afterlife.

Will he give in to the greed that plagued him in life? Will he use this opportunity to get revenge on those who caused him suffering? Or will he attempt to atone for his sins, now that he has a second chance?

Your city has been living in utter denial of the existence of the gods of yore, and they are angry.
All of them.

As the chosen representative for your hometown, (chosen by the gods, of course) you must complete twelve labors mostly based off of stories from mythology or religious books.

Despite all the religion and spiritual lessons, not every path in this is family friendly. In fact, unless you immediately (or pretty near immediately) die, you'll be subjected to some kind of suggestive talk and most definitely some cussing - some of which could be offensive. So if that's not your thing, don't say I didn't warn you.

For EndMaster's Myth and Religion Contest

Teshi has survived thus far with your help. Can you once again keep our beloved, humorous little protagonist alive?

Honestly I'll probably add this all to the first story someday, but only once it's finished.

Voting for Story B. Here's my feedback to the authors:

Story A

• I like the little twist with the people being the real monsters, but it's mostly told and not really shown. You say the narrator sees "terrible acts, all human". Give us some tangible examples of that, a vivid description of a couple of these scenarios.
• The narrator has a pretty unique character voice, espeially in his monologues. Everyone else (James, the mother, Goldie) could use a bit of work in that department, though. Goldie's a confident character, you could try using more theatrical language to build a sense of arrogance. Things like that.
• More internal conflict within the narrator. Why is he so willing to trust this ghost and risk his own life? Is it because of a past experience, a desperate need for a connection, or some other thing?
• Build tension with sensory details. The narrator's inner voice does a lot of heavy lifting when it comes to the tension of this piece. You kinda do this when talking about a pounding heart and cracking ribs at the end, but you could spread it throughout by describing things like how his breath fogs in a different way or how a particular room feels colder than the rest.
• On a similar note, describe the setting using more than just sight. Is it musty, does the scent of decay linger in the air? Do the floorboards creak, or is there a noisy rusted hinge in the door?
• The pacing in this is pretty good. It starts slow and deliberate, speeds up and zones in during the middle, then capitalizes on the tension at the end.
• I do love the subversion of tropes, which is why I'll hold back any complaints about the two-dimensional characters. In this story, that seems intentional.

Story B

• The pacing in this is excellent. There's a slow, tense build-up in the beginning, establishing a father-son conflict. It really sets up the twist at the end nicely.
• I like the symbolism here, too, with the business itself representing the whole family legacy, and the business card being a physical representative of that legacy.
• While the conflict is clear and pretty strong, it could do with some higher stakes to make Michael's change more dramatic. Maybe he could be facing a potential move to the city or something of the sort, somethig that makes his decision to stay a much bigger sacrifice.
• I also think you could do with some simple, subtle foreshadowing. Maybe something Michael's father says in the beginning hits him as oddly reasonable, or something like that. I think it'd be cool to draw a parallel between the glass jars in the beginning and Michael's own fragile state of mind. Also, instead of just telling us that Michael sees a "manic" glint in his father's eyes, you could first describe it as something neutral, maybe a flicker of fear or something, so the reader has a moment where they don't see it as negative, and THEN have Michael dismiss it as manic. That way, the reader slightly doubts Michael's perception of reality, but it doesn't really give away the twist.
• Along those lines: The story mentions that the town's doctors grew tired of Granny Agnes and chased her away. You could add a short, seemingly irrelevant line from one of the doctors that, in retrospect, takes on a new meaning. For example, a doctor might say, "That Agnes is a lost cause. She sees things that aren't there." This line would seem to support Michael's belief that she's a hypochondriac, but after the twist, it becomes a literal description of Ose's power. Does that... make sense? I fear I sound insane here. Anyway, foreshadowing is a great way to make twists feel more satisfying.
• The final battle could use some details. You probably just ran out of words, but surely you could sacrifice somewhere else to give us more than "sounds of a battle ensued"?
• The final scene with the bartender is a good way to tie up loose ends, but it could be more emotionally charged. The bartender's dialogue feels a bit too expository and stiff, too convenient. You could make it a little more cryptic, maybe? Trust the reader a bit more, let them put some of the pieces together themselves.
• All that said, the writing in this story is very strong, and the story itself is more immersive and interesting (though neither is bad), so it gets my vote.

Kudos to both authors.

Can you see this?

Well actually, before I answer the first question, how old are you? General ballpark. I wouldn't recommend this site in general to anyone under fourteen honestly, though there are some who manage to thrive (but at what cost?)

As for the story that made me think the most, uh, my own. Because I wrote it. And no, not the 3k one.

Definitely a fan of more ambiguous choices. Clearcut right and wrong is cheap writing; life doesn't work like that.