Player Comments on You're A Lizard, Harry!

This is a really funny satire of the noob's first shitty fanfic before they get inevitably smited (smote? smitten? for fuck's sake i don't care i'm tired). Harry Potter is an especially good choice for this as that franchise tends to aggregate some of the shittiest entries in the realm of fanfiction written by elementary schoolers.

I think the full commitment to the bit does hinder it even in a satire though. A lack of real choice in a CYOA game, as well as an abominably tiny and rushed game altogether, are in fact core elements of a shitty CYS story, but I feel like the fact that this *is* satire is literally the only thing keeping it from getting forcibly unpublished and tucked into a closet with a black hole in it. There are literally endless possibilities for mocking bad fanfiction, and I would've loved to see some of these here. Unfortunately it just isn't there.

Yeah, this is a funny five-minute read regardless. The author definitely accomplished what they set out to do, but take it for what it is.

It is still so, so much better than anything legitimate that JK Rowling has ever released though.

Truly the BOOBS!!! of the new generation.

Liminal, this is brilliant :D You have nailed the cliches of a certain (very) special kind of writer and this story is a brilliant example of a particular way of writing (there will be some cretins out there who can’t recognize true beauty when they see it and will criticize you. Verbally incinerate them). You portray a certain kind of UK accent very well. Obviously, there are a lot of words and some of them are spelt correctly or put in the right order, a lack of originality which I found frankly disappointing at times, but I think I can ignore that to focus on the true beauty of what you have created.

In some ways I feel this is a significant improvement on the original as it is more suitable for millennials and much more original in both dialogue and prose. I think it was an error on the part of the author that Dudley survived the snake but I like the single use of the word “space”. I think the lack of choices in a cys is a brilliant narrative choice and I liked Drigah (this part seems like something Sent would write as well!). I also like the fact that this story doesn’t use capitals but spells onomatopoeia correctly.

Obviously, a piece of art like this is above criticism (some might also say beyond praise as well) but I humbly beg the writer’s pardon to point out the one single, obvious, irredeemable flaw in this: it’s not longer. I feel it’s possible we might have skipped a few bits in the story here and there and would very much like to see a full, more fleshed-out version of Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone (or possibly, the entire series or even other classical works like The Lord of the Things, er Rings) given this author’s fantastic writing style and treatment. What of Fluffy, the tree-headed God? Snape, the Photos Master? Or even Dumbledoor, the principle and headmonster of Hogwarts? There is so much potential here, so much raw… something. Great work :D

Good, but too childish

Not bad. It made me feel like I was in the wizarding world. I suggest in the next part, we have a Slyhterin path. Because I like the colors green and silver. Thank you.

I feel like it could be a little longer and more parts where you choose. But other than that it was amazing 👏

Don't ask a preload question just to belittle the player before the game even starts

Well, safe to say that i wish i was doing my homework now.

This is fucking hilarious. I was in tatters at every page. The opening with the way Dudley is described as "tromp"ing down the stairs raining filth on HARRAY was great.

I giggled when I caught a stray for frying bacon on a pan. It's safe if you're not an uneducated, stupid orphan, I promise!

The way Dudley tantrums at so many designer presents got me. As did Dudley's drinking a pan full of grease.

The snake bit was basically taken straight out of the goddamn movie, I swear. That goes for most of the game, too. The entire first half is so fucking accurate about how I see the movie.

The second I got to Hogwarts and the prose degraded I almost fell over laughing. Super accurate about how the idiots during the Warrior Cats days would write a story.

This is fantastic. Thank you for writing it!

This was a hilarious game, and I think if you hate Harry Potter, you'd love this one because it does a really good job of satirizing some of the sillier elements of the first book. And if you liked Harry Potter, you'll still enjoy this storygame because it's just fun!

It's also a pretty fun parody of a noob fan-fic game. The way Liminal parodied how the authors of these games will almost meticulously document each and every little part of the scene in the beginning, only to then go on and zoom through, with wildly inconsistent pacing as they hurtle towards the end, their interest gone, and their lizard brain inevitably seeking a new source of dopamine.

Like at one point, we get a play by play explanation of how Harry wakes up, cooks bacon, and we get this almost cinematic view of Dudley's temper tantrums, with generous amounts of sensory details like the oil, Dudley's exaggerated accent, and dust mites lavished on the scene that nobody cares about, only to then ridiculously skip past the entirety of Harry's first semester at Hog-sorry, Frogscales. You can almost pinpoint the exact moment the hypothetical author who wrote this lost interest and just zoomed past, making the minimum amount of pages required for the storygame to be published.

It was genuinely funny, and Liminal has a title for setting the scene well, and writing the Harry Potter parody in a way that recognizes the original's flaws and satirizes them.

I'll treasure the badge we get at the end for beating moldyvord forever, it's a work of artistic magnificence.

Overall, I liked it! I had a good belly laugh reading this one, and I think it's really funny!

This is not really a choose your own story, so...

ebic gayme

space

screaming

very bow pam

Definitely a very "Serious" and "Socially Important" story. (Apparently HP is actually a real/true story?! IMAO what?! AND there's gonna be a sequel?! ZOMG when? I am very excite rn fr fr!!!! :O :O)

This story makes you FEEL like an enraged liberal who hates JK Rowling with every fiber of his/her/their being! :O (I also think HP is as overrated as much as the next guy but I feel my reasons are probably pretty different from yours.)

This was simultaneously better and worse than I expected. I get that you just shat this out in 2 days but I think it would have hit harder if you tried to make the ending at least somewhat satisfying.

Random nitpick, but I think the title should have had more actual significance to the story itself. Like, tell us that Hagrid said "Your a Lizard Harry!" and then lean into the absurdity of the back and forward a bit. That's what I was looking forward to the most and it didn't happen. A bit of a let down. One could argue the title is a tad misleading as a result. (I'm being pretentious with this complaint, but I think even in a meme story, the title should do a good enough job summing up the general vibe/theme of the story...you know what I'm sayin?!)

Like I found your anti HP ramble so hilarious that it actually inspired me to start writing my own anti HP fanfic. I delayed reading this for...uh...reasons...but while this wasn't what I expected, looking back, I'm not sure what I should have expected to begin with.

I'm sure whatever you write next will be a lot better than this. I could pick up on a lot of intentional word choices in here even amongst the over the top satire. *insert more generic praise here* yadda yadda

ur mom gay or sumthin idk lol :P

I am very lizar and hairy indeed! :P

Very boring,you could especially expand the class part(What is this dang snake plot change)

I luvd it goood job man keep righting!!!!!!!!!

I am feeling good about my Debut story now, thank you ｼ

Fuck u and ur mom ur Harry Potter and Ron

Lmao I needed that thanx

this is beautiful best story ever

lovely

you did great. and you'll get better. i liked the story it was intresting and fun

Its not a game 😪🙄

3/8 needs more transphobia

Obviously it's a joke game but I can't tell if the author got lazy near the end orif that's just more commentary on lazy noobs. But I would've given it a higher rating if the second half had as much actual writing as the first half. It was funny it was just like the author got bored of the joke too fast to do really anything with it.

y is dis gaem so gud?

First, well done spelling "Dirgah" wrong. A nice easter egg for "true Harry Potter" fans. I'm not one, though I did enjoy the movies.

Mostly this story seems to be kind of satirizing a type of noob voice—which is a slick move since this is your first storygame.

The negatives are mainly related to (lack of) choice and originality. Joke games are fine, and joke fanfics are fine too. But pure originality carries a lot more weight. Not that fanfics can't be good, but kind of making fun or satirizing is only good for this kind of story: short, kind of soulless, but humorous. On the other hand, serious fanfic is risky. One could end up looking really stupid doing serious fanfic.

Which is why for your next storygame I hope it is purely original content.

Anyway, this story had some meta-level humor which might be lost on some readers, but others will get a kick on it. The "lyk dis" spelling, all caps yelling, fourth wall breaking. This seems to be self-aware and mocking, which makes it better than just shit tier fanfic.

So yeah, or a first outing, this isn't bad, and it allows you to get your feet wet on writing and publishing.

I look forward to your original works to come.

Fake fan. Harry isn’t a lizard.

Played it yet again. Sorry but this is pure gold. whoever that guy is who said "Trash", look in a mirror.

my name is dilly, this is very important to know, thats some good stuff.

trash

This is like the Dolores umbridge version of harry potter, hahaha lol!!

draco Malfoy sleeping

I wasn't sold on this until I saw the stunning character art.

love

next can we do Harry Potter is sleeping

i played it again. i cant get over "bam
pow
onomatopeia"
i need a sequel otherwisw i will binge watch harry potter until i weigh only 39.5 LBS

Thank goodness I read Harry Potter so I can answer the weird first question accurately.

Here's your irrational 7/8 for making a Harry Potter fanfic that's hilarious in its sheer non-seriousness and "newb parody".

LOL! This is amazing purely because it's so hilarious! XD
But yeah, like Anthraxus pointed out you used too big a word.

10/10 Harry Potter story game that truly encapsulates the spirit of the franchise. I think I even heard that Warner Bros is going to ask if they can make this fanfic a TV series soon!

A brilliant example of transcendent literature. Reading this will truly bring you enlightenment.

This is a great example of type, or at least it was until the very end. One word spoiled this whole thing for me and as consequence the author should be tarred and feathered and stoned until dead. What was that word? onomatopeia.

This does a great job of aping the style and mannerisms of a noob writer, but non of them would use such a complex word. Come on Liminal, you can't drop the ball right at the end like that.

The fact that this is gonna have more ratings than Constellaris Court in a few hours says a lot about society

A literary masterpiece. Forget Eternal, this should be the #1 story on the site. Fanfiction doesn't have a good rep in general, but if more stories of this quality keep coming around it'll gain the respect of all soon enough.

In all seriousness, I thought this was a pretty entertaining story. The intentional loose and low effort tone was fun to read. I found the blend of random absurdity and straight man jokes delightful. It doesn't rely on you knowing anything about Harry Potter (thought that's probably more due to the author not caring if you have proper context or not), but is still able to communicate clearly the relationships between the characters in the original series in a comedic, exaggerated fashion.

Yes, I am aware this is way too serious of a review for what is a self-admitted shitpost. Just saying that I liked it is all. Gave me a good laugh.

Hey, its Naz. i wanna apologize to everybody for what happened earlier. also this game is really good i could spend the rest of my life playing it. but to anyone who sees this, i'm sorry for what i did. i have finally seen that i am in the wrong, and i dont expect forgiveness. just please consider it at least. have a great day.




-Naz O.

I was in photography class, tired of sitting at the computer and playing minesweeper I decide to open CYS. his is where I then discover a new story-game! And it's not just any storygame.. it's a HARRY POTTER storygame! Reading through this absolute treasure of a storygame made me shed tears and shake uncontrollably out of my sheer awe and admiration.

This was an immaculately written story-game, I could feel the passion and emotion that went into every word, especially in this passage, "Bam pow onomatopeia oh good you got him he'll be back at the end of next year though dont worry abt it." I could feel Liminal's literacy genius enlighten me. The beautiful sounds effects create vivid imagery and helps the reader imagine this serious and gripping scene so well.

I especially enjoyed how this brilliant author described the different academic courses you could take at Frogscales. The Flies course was explained with so much depth and detail my brain started melting from all the information I was consuming.

Overall, I think liminal is a wizard with his words, and I highly suggest anyone who's new to this site to read this story. I also suggest that everyone should strive to achieve the level of literacy intellect as shown in this storygame.

Fortunately, this game also doubles as a sequel to Will11's How Not to Write