UPDATE: The Other World: I realize I've been totally silent for the past three weeks about T.O.W's progress and the reason for that is that it really hasn't ... had much. A lot of shit went down and suffice it to say, I lost my focus and was just busy with work and sleep and family drama and crap almost the whole time.
I did start, (thanks to a new user named ChronoUnleashed), writing a bit more of The Devil's Chess again because I've been contemplating who Vidia was before any of the protagonists met her and her back story has become rather solid now. I've also been clawing my way towards a vacation and I do plan to work on my story during it. I'm just not sure how much time I'll get. We're visiting my in-laws up in Wisconsin next week, and they're going to take us to an in-door water park / resort.
I feel like being absurdly lazy and telling the world to go f*ck itself after the past couple months I've had, but lounging about in one of those "rivers" (dunno if you've ever seen a water park with one before) in an inner tube (or whatever the place has) will probably clear my head enough that I'll want to work more on this.
Completed Main Chapters: 1/4 Current goal: Finish Game. =| Progress: 72%
Page count: 311 / ???
Family Drama is never good. x_X
Dang it. Now you got me wanting to lounge around in an inner tube on the river. Or go rafting. Except it might be just a little too cold for that this time of year. XD
Good luck on writing. :)
Agreed.
Hehe. Well, that's what indoor water-parks are for.
Thank you. It's ... slow going right now, but it's going. Just finished up a couple of very long pages.
A water park? You poor, poor soul.
Glad to hear you're making progress, Nerraf Leik!
Yes. After a few months of hell, I'm going to a water-park with my in-laws and I'm going to share a bedroom with my sister-in-law which will be awkward and means me and my spouse can't have "fun", but I won't be working, so you could ship me off to the fucking Sahara for all I bloody care.
While that would make an interesting pseudonym, why are you spelling my name backwards?
Bullshit, you can't. Make like horses! They fuck in front of their young and everything!
Dunno, Nerraf Leik. Why is my online persona a capybara? I do random shit sometimes, in case you hadn't noticed.
... Yeah, no.
I've noticed. I've also noticed that every action has a reason, even if that reason is "I felt like doing something for no reason."
So I ask.
He's trying to trick you into saying it backwards too, so you'll disappear back your own dimension.
Dammit, he's figured out my one true weakness! xD Wait, is that yours, too?
Don't listen to his lies, Nerraf Leik!
I've noticed too. Hi y'all!
Uh ... listen, kiddo, I appreciate your desire to socialize, but this isn't that kind of thread. (And you're replying to several month old posts.) It's a writing motivational thread, so I prefer for people to ... attempt to stay (or at the very, very least, start ) on topic. If you really wanted to say hi to everyone, there are better, more effective places for that.
Though, in fact, yes: hello, nice to see you, welcome to CYS, and I hope you enjoy your stay. I am open to offering advice to all new members and young writers as I am able. If you want some idea of what this thread is for, you're welcome to try my first story game out. This thread is for the sequel.
So you're finally married now? XD
Anyway, I totally feel you. Had some awkward sleeping arrangements in a Disney Cabin for he past week. Didn't get any writing done my entire vacation, but at least it was fun haha.
... I'm 99% sure we had this conversation before. I got married back in September, man. >.> It's been four months. I've been talking about married life on the forums. Not a lot, but I have.
At the last second, my father-in-law turned to me and he was like "well, if you guys wanted to, you could take the king-sized bed in the other room" and I'm all "O_O ??" ... at first, I refused out of instinct, but my sweetie talked me into admitting that that would be greatly appreciated and... yeah. It's been fantastic so far. I can't remember the last time I laughed so much.
Now that you say that, I remember you mentioning that you were getting married really soon waaay back during the Commander threads, and then I have a blank on anything else about it haha.
Glad it worked out in the end XD
I'm glad you and your imaginary spouse are enjoying yourselves.
... Thanks. Don't project your issues with women (or men, not judging) onto other couples, silly cappy.
You're welcome. I honestly can't tell if you're too stupid to gett the joke or not.
AND THERE'S ON "P" IN CAPY, YOU MOTHERFUCKER.
You can't complain if you're going to spell my name backwards, twat. :P
I'm sure your fake spouse disapproves of your sexist terms, Nerraf_Leik.
Forgot about this. Actually, my spouse just finds it funny.
There's an E in one
That is true. Six months too late, but true.
UPDATE: The Other World: My progress is picking up again because I'm using my mother-in-law's (extremely pink) laptop, but I'm not accustomed to this keyboard and there's no mouse, just a touch screen, and it doesn't like this site, so it's awkward. Still, I've fixed a glitch in my game and I've finished about... 12 pages in the past two days. Mind you, that's finished, not created / started / worked on.
Chapter 2 is almost done, I'm just dealing with the fact that I've never liked writing romance. Give me angst, drama, gore, action, horror ... not awkwardly budding puppy love, please. Still, I'm trying to show the progression of a very young teen into a battle-hardened young adult, and if you can show me one non-asexual individual who didn't have at least one crush on their way to adulthood, I will be shocked.
I've been working on the third chapter more and it's going well. I'm fond of the side-character that you'll meet there. Actually, there are a few characters I really like that you'll meet past chapter two. I'm currently struggling over one portrayal, though. Anyone who has a thing for Nordic myth is welcome to offer their advice on one of my plot points.
Completed Main Chapters: 1/4 Current goal: Finish Game. =| Progress: 74%
Page count: 342 / ???
UPDATE: The Other World: Two more pages, a little item creation and coding, and I'll have another chapter finished.
Page count: 347 / ???
Horray! At the rate you're writing, you just might be able to finish this by the new due date. I know I can't finish my story by then though. I hate writers block and addictive games.
I'll go check out your progress.
Thanks.
So I haven't gotten far; and I will edit this as I find more errors or want to make more suggestions. (Tell me if you fix an error, and I'll take it off my list.)
- The only pages that I noticed that didn't have the backgrounds were the ones at the end that haven't been finished with writing yet.
@TacocaT
I just double checked all possible ways to lose your water to the thief and, according to the editor, those links are not available unless you have the waterskin. If you have the waterskin, you have water, even if you drank some previously. Are you sure you didn't stop by a spring before meeting the thief? If not, the game must've glitched, I guess? =\ I can't think of another answer.
Also, if you notice any pages that are purely white, noting them will save me a little time digging. (Thanks a million for beta-reading, btw. I know I already owe you, so... xD put it on my tab?)
I used the water skin during the battle in the corridor. Day nine, I met the theif - still no water skin - and clicked avoid him. He gave me the choice of either giving him the necklace, the bread, or the water. I go the free pass and clicked water.
Yeah, but you ... aren't supposed to even see the choice of the water if you don't have the water-skin, so ... I dunno. I'll look for a way to fix it, though.
EDIT: I was right, it's a glitch. I've tweaked and tested a few times. Once you have the water-skin, the game thinks you still have it, regardless of whether or not you drank all the water. I know why now. I just need to remember what variable I need to use to tell the game not to do that.
Tell me when it's fixed and I'll take it off the list of things to fix or have been suggested.
Ok, all the spelling errors so far and the glitch are fixed. =D Ty.
I'd also really like to hear what you think of the story in general at this point.
Nicely done, though it could be a bit slower paced with a few more options, but then again, I know why you don't since that would make things even more complicated than they already are, and with the deadline, you don't want to make things that complicated.
I like the little touches - the door&gate as a link that open when you move your mouse over them as well as the background - and all the details you put in (though there could be more, mainly in the injuries acquired, but that would make it extremely complicated and again, I can easily see why you don't.)
The plot line so far points at much more to come, rising with tension and growing with hatred (or sever dislike if you'd prefer) for the witch tyrant. It's also something original. I love it.
All that scripting/coding/magic is very well done and very complicated I believe.
Spelling/grammar is great.
Frankly, I agree, the pace could be improved. I'd like to slow things down, I'd also like to visit more cities, develop a few more characters, involve more of the drones, yatta yatta ... but regrettably, I'm trying to strike a balance between rushing to finish and putting out a solid game. =| Not easy. Once it's "finished" if I have a week or so, we'll see how much more I can add.
Have you met Selene / Darren yet? I'm just wondering if, from a reader's perspective, you get enough time with them. (I'm also curious to see a response to the "sing to her" option for Celeste's final scene, since writing a lullaby for a dying little girl is ... obviously something one does not get a lot of practice in.)
Thank you for the compliments.
I only got to spend time with Selene. It was getting annoying to click the 'go back' button and having that little window pop up asking if I wanted to resend something or other, click yes, and then click go back, etc. so I ended up just closing the window. I think that if you had one more 'happy' scene, perhaps over the simplest thing, complete with dialog/reactions/excitement/hope (the latter two only adding to the betrayal feeling later) it would add a bit of characterization and closeness to her.
The option to be lesbian is also a nice touch.
The lullaby was nice - for a while there I had thought it was an actual published song you had incorporated into your story. >_<
Got'cha. Well, that could probably be arranged. I implied months of time spent together, I could elaborate. I could also elaborate on the days during the time that Jace / Kyra decided to leave with Darren / Selene ... I'm just eager to get moving, chapter 2 is just ... absurdly large at this point.
Ah, yeah. Well, why not, right? GOLAD had the same potential with Hannah/Gabriel, I figured I might as well offer the same to Kyra / Jace. It's illegal, granted, but you're a fugitive from the law, so ... who cares? xD Fight the power!
=D YES! My ridiculously sappy attempt at lyrics can be confused with actual songs! And no, no, that was just me.
Just one more simple scene should work, maybe two. Simple, as in the scene where you can choose to lay the toy horse on the grave of the child before everything burns and goes to hell more then it already had. A simple scene that provided connection to the other character, and got a bit of that emotion going, that you proceded to turn kill her, basically sticking your tounge out at it and shoving in the opposite direction and the hatred towards the one to kill her increased more then if that scene hadn't happened. Tell me if I'm getting confusing here.
Rebellion!
XD
Uh ... a little confusing, yeah. You're suggesting I give you a 'crowning moment of heartwarming' before letting you kill your first crush? The game isn't quite that dark, the concepts of right and wrong still exist in the protagonist's mind. Also, it might be worth noting that how much time you spend with / talking to a character could depend on your choices. For example, you can skip out on ever meeting Celeste (or Sorin, Rosella, Caleb ... ) Still, an extra, short, simple scene about connecting with each other might be nice, yes.
That's an option? I guess I missed it.
Yeah. I mean, if you want to survive Lapis Astus, you have to see her, but you don't need to meet her or help her. You can hide on your own, you'll see her through a window, and if you refuse to save her, you'll just go back to sleep and let her die. It makes your character feel like an ass, of course, (just like the three cruel things you can do in Aureus) but it's still a choice. Mind you, I have a track record of karmically rewarding players.
Oh, I thought we were talking about the gal who wants to come with you and then betrays you, not the gal who you get the option of singing her to eternal sleep. The gal who you get to sing into eternal sleep is great how it is; the gal who you can choose to be lesbian with via kissing her after saving her (I'm assuming that's what was happening.) , needs a 'crowning moment' as you put it, so the reader feels actually betrayed by her decision to tattle about you to save her own family and butt instead just 'Meh, it was going to happen sooner or later anyway.'
Oh. Nah. Though they do have unintentionally similar names. Celeste is the child, Selene is the love-interest. ... Does it really seem that inevitable? She takes real personal risk to cure you and protect you for those months, it's just that faced with the decision, she's not as brave as she thought she was.
Well, with the dark theme where everyone else you have been with (family, friends, infants, children, women) dies, it starts becoming expected that something is going to happen to who ever you stay with. I mean, in the beginning, you are close to your family and close friends with another family. They die. You become close to the child and her family. They die. You become close with your crush and her/his family. Well, it's obvious that something bad would befall them. Either death and blackmail are the two most likely things to happen the moment you figure out that she took care of you.
:P Not necessarily, I could've allowed Selene to come with you... and I still might in an alternate pathway, but yeah, it's predictable that something bad would happen, I just didn't think betrayal sounded that likely.
Perhaps if you had it so she betrays you, something happens, and you and her end up escaping together, that would be less predictable and there would be that seed of distrust between the characters.
Mmm... it does complicate things, though. I'll think about that.
I get that you're trying to make it "dark", but it seems like the Witch is working against herself. Wouldn't it be more effective to promise people a swift, painless end if they work for her faithfully?
It seems a bit counter-productive to keeping the population docile if all they have to look forward to is a blade to the neck. XD
I've established this before, but she's insane. Not to mention, she hates humans. The fact that they work faithfully for her means precisely jack-shit, she just likes having someone to rule over and torment.
That said, I'm not sure what you're suggesting, considering the guillotine was at one point the most humane method of execution. It was invented because people thought hanging and such were too cruel. Hell, the lethal injections we do nowadays aren't that humane, they just seem less barbaric because one of the drugs given is made to paralyze the one being executed to make it appear as though he's calm.
Do all beheadings occur via guillotine? Obviously not. Mass, clean killings are reserved for the elderly in this world. Criminals? An axe or a sword will do. (How is it counter-productive to break someone's spirit and then provide them with a hopeless future?)
Because they have nothing to look forward to. Most folks would probably want to rebel if they knew they were fucked anyways, and going to get their head chopped off...
... And I'm willing to bet beheading isn't as painless as we think.
Ahh. Were you just... totally beside yourself? :P
You became a twilight vampire? Oh, god, the horror. I am so sorry.
You're right, it's my secret dream to become a walking disco ball.
You're making a lot of assumptions. One would be that the majority of the elderly wouldn't be able to work up until their last day of life and that simply isn't true. Lots of people die while still taking care of their house / ranch / while working a job / exc. Not all of this is intensive labor either, some of it is as simple as sewing / cooking.
You're also assuming that the previous 90, 85, 70 years of their life wouldn't have any value to them just because dying is an inevitability. Think about that. "Some day, you're going to die!" "Oh my god, I'd better try to overthrow society!" is not usually the response. On top of that, these people were born into this life. Your character knows that there was life before slavery and life beyond it and that it was a good thing. Most of these people are 20th generation slaves who can't read or write and know nothing of the world beyond the fact that the witch rules it and it's not safe to go outside. You're not allowed to bad-mouth the life you lead or talk about the past.
As for that last bit: It's not a -guess- that people are making. The belief that beheadings were a humane way to go is based on extensive studies into anatomy and physiology. It depends on HOW you are beheaded and how quickly, of course ... but if it were with something like a guillotine, if the executioner isn't totally incompetent, the sudden severing of your spinal cord should remove the perception of pain.
There is a reason you're supposed to lay face down to be decapitated, because severing the throat first will keep your ability to feel intact a little bit longer. Really, though ... you ever get a cut and only realize you're bleeding / in pain once you see it? If done properly and quickly, your brain shouldn't really get that kind of opportunity. Add to that the factor of shock which overrides pain and there's a good chance.
If you did feel pain, though, it would be from the blade piercing the tissue in the way of your spinal cord and the sensation would last very briefly, just long enough for the nerves to tell the brain "hey, dunno if you realize this, but our neck just got severed..." before the brain basically responds with "uh ... what neck?"
UPDATE: The Other World: Found an interesting solution to the protagonist's problem, but it's been difficult to make any progress. So much crap to do when you're a responsible adult. *sigh*
Completed Main Chapters: 2/4 (ish) Current goal: Finish Game. =| Progress: 74%
Page count: 349 / ???
Well, you are making much more progress then I am. XD Keep on writing and don't let addictive games or writers block catch you!
Hello!
UPDATE: The Other World: I'm working on my game again. It's been... rough lately, to say the least. After staying up 22 hours straight because of work, I got stuck in a big, busy, (gang-ridden) city over 60 miles from home because my car randomly broke down. I got a jump from some dudes in the parking lot.
(I suspect they took pity on me partially because I was wearing my work clothes and was at the pediatric care HQ where I'm pitching in part time now... ) The jump got me to the car dealer ship where I spent an hour waiting for them to tell me that they checked everything and nothing was wrong. *sigh* The battery's in top condition. Wtf?
Page count: 350 / ???
Well, 'Succeed in spite of, don't fail because of'.
The advice is appreciated, but that's ... easier said than done.
UPDATE: The Other World: I'm finally being productive again. I regrettably doubt that my game will be the least linear submission of the bunch and I'll probably be criticized on that, but there's a lot I wanted to do and ... well, life hasn't been kind lately. I've cleaned up a few errors since last time and I'm gradually connecting all the pieces of chapter three together so I can finish it and focus solely on the final chapter. >_>' It's really kind of pathetic, but I haven't given up yet.
Once the contest is over, I promise to catch up on my feedback for the writing exercises, btw. I haven't forgotten you guys.
Completed Main Chapters: 2/4 Current goal: Script yet another string of battles. Progress: 76%
Page count: 383 / ???
Ok, I have been working on this game (albeit a bit on-and-off-ish) for the past ... seven bloody hours. Proofing, scripting, adding stuff, writing new pages, filling in old pages. (A lot of them.) I'm taking a damn nap. xD See you guys later.
Glad to hear you're getting stuff done XD
Thanks. I feel like a turtle swimming in molasses.
Anyone who feels like beta-reading, please, please let me know. :P I'd love the help.
UPDATE: The Other World: I'm exhausted in every way right now. *sigh* Work ... family ... things. I'm usually great under pressure, but right now, not so much. There's no way I'll finish this in time, is there? I've got maybe a hundred pages left to go and I'm fast, but I am just not that fast. I have one of the main endings finished, but it's only an early one, from the middle of chapter three. The best parts are in the fourth chapter. >_>' It's a good consolation ending, sure, but it's still skipping out on a lot of the fun.
Yeah, I could cave on my perfectionist tendencies and submit the story (with only two possible outcomes) if I cleaned up chapter 3 enough in the next two days, and I have time off Friday and Saturday. It's possible. However, going up against fully formed pieces of work, there's probably no way it would win or ... hell, even place. I dunno. Alternatively, I could sacrifice the complex parts of my game to turn out something simpler, but the complexity helps keep things non-linear and gives you guys choices. I want every play-through to be a little different, I want to challenge you, I want to offer a variety of settings and worlds and endings ... xD and I'm pretty damn crazy for trying that in this amount of time considering my life lately.
I'm going to keep trying to finish until I run out of time, though. As anyone who has ever seen me play Commander knows, walking away just isn't my style.
Completed Main Chapters: 2/4 Current goal: Actually submit something. Progress: 77%
Page count: 389 / ???
^69th lolol
Besides that, well...GO KIEL GO! Even with all the free time and easy work I have, I probably would never amount to anything close, and you've come way...way...WAY too far to stop :P
You got two days! You can do it!
No, he can't. >_<
Fml. I just woke up with a fever of 102 and I feel like puking my guts up. -_-
The powers that be just don't want you to enter :-/
>_> I'm beginning to think so, yeah.
Well ... I am writing, yes, but it's slow. My head feels like a lead weight and I haven't eaten since yesterday morning.
UPDATE: The Other World: I only meant to take an hour nap earlier, at most. I ended up sleeping for over four hours, even with an alarm set ... not that I actually heard it go off.
Edit: Made some more progress. I've scripted some events in a "town square"-like location where you can practice your "skill" and your "charisma" to earn points in those attributes for the sake of unlocking some choices later on. It also has an arena for battle challenges, though that part isn't quite "up and running" just yet. I also just finished an epilogue for the early ending to guilt the player into going further, even though that's kind of a lousy thing to do considering "further" isn't possible right now. Chapter three is gradually coming to a close, though. Gradually.
Completed Main Chapters: 2/4 Current goal: Actually submit something. Progress: 78%
Page count: 422 / ???
Come on! Write write write! It's due today.
>_< I know, I know... I feel like a corpse, though. Ugh. Chapter 3 is close to being finished, then I just need to work on the arena and the shops and I'll have three ... decently solid chapters. It's not what I wanted, but it's still something I could submit.
Well, You have more than ten times the pages that I have. I'm out. And with Quiller out of the game, you have only a couple people to worry about.
Just got interrupted by my mom for over an hour. She wanted to discuss family drama with me and she was crying, soo ... >_> I didn't have the heart to get off the phone any earlier than she'd let me, really.
This story honestly sounds like it's going to be kick ass.
I'm trying, so help me God, but even if I submit what I can get done now, I'll have to take it down immediately after the contest is over so I can actually finish the damned thing.
Do your best and don't stress! ^^ I'm sure whatever you have will be fantastic, finished or not.
... Isn't that picture of the weird cat thing from Puella Magi Madoka Magica?
Edit: Random, I know. Also, thank you. I appreciate you vote of confidence.
Yes. Yes it is.
Well, chapter 3 is "finished" ... now if I get the arena and the shops done, or at least hide the shame of their lack of completion, we're good to go.
Ok. I need some f*cking sleep. I've been nauseated, vomiting, in pain, and exhausted all day ...
But yes. I can submit my story now. I feel like a corpse and it falls pretty short of what I wanted it to be, but I can fix it after the contest, so ... here goes nothin'.
Congrats!
Was actually going to suggest you finish the game and submit it to the Spring Thing or something which is in like, a month (though you'd have to submit intent tomorrow). Glad you were able to finish it for Madglee's contest (if there's even enough stories) though.
Yeah, no cash prizes or even any organized scoring, but entry is free and their prize pool has like, an HTML 5 website and some CYOA-hardcovers...
Well, it's something other than points and a trophy XD
Call me crazy if you want, but I'm fine with skipping out on ST if that's the case. I still want a trophy. (And yes, I said I'd rest. My stomach had other plans.)
Sooo ... still stuck on TOW since I can't finish until the contest is over and I admit, I don't really want to move on until it's done, but once it is, I'm curious: What story would you guys most like to see me work on?
Whether or not my muse will cooperate is something I really can't promise, but I might make some extra effort as a result.
Well, what other stories do you have to work on?
They're listed on the projects section of my page. I've described them before in previous threads, but if you want me to give you a summary of any of them, I can.
The three that caught my eye were, Web of Lies, Magick Academy, and The Heart of His Darkness.
Would you mind putting up a summary for these three?
Web of Lies was intended to be a Sherlock Holmes based game. xD I've always wanted to write an honest-to-God good mystery, but I'm not thoroughly confident about it. I'm worried I might not be able to balance the concepts of 'hard enough to be a case for one of the most famous fictional detectives' and 'easy enough that you, as the player, would not tear your hair out trying to win.'
Magick Academy is my pet project. Heeeeavy scripting. It's, well ... exactly what it sounds like. A school-based fantasy game about you becoming a student at an academy for mages. The summary is this: "Pick a talent: Fire, Ice, Wind, Earth, Light, or Shadow, and begin your first semester as a witch or warlock in training at Nethys-Aradia-Heka Academy. (NAH, for short.) Meet all of your fellow students, form strong bonds with powerful allies or bitter rivalries with deadly enemies. Gain a familiar to help you. Participate in tests, competitions, sparring matches, field trips, and more. Will you flunk out? Drop out? Die? Or can you unleash your full power and learn what it means to be a real master of magic?" (You can also fish, hunt for plants, and dig for magical artifacts with your substitute teacher who is an enchanted bear with a monocle and I'm totally serious about this. The idea was to sell, use, or give away whatever you catch / find, and the bear was TeV's idea.)
The Heart of His Darkness was kind of a doozy in the conceptual stage. On the surface, it's supposed to look like a simple dating sim. You get to choose from a group of charming people and you get little happy endings and that's all well and good, but if you take the metaphorical red pill of that world? Everything changes. You realize that there's a sort of alternate dimension where most of the people you thought you knew are secretly monsters / demons / warriors all participating in a clash of titans type tournament that you, yourself, are now apart of, and you acquire an equally monstrous partner / servant to battle with. It's ... dating sim meets Fate Stay Night, I guess is what I'm saying here.
I like the sound of Magick Academy.
Yeah ... I figured most people would, since it's intended to appeal to a wide range of players. I could use a co-author on some points preeeetty badly, though. The problem it's the plot or even the scripting, it's the cast. The cast is huge for a story game. See, there are six talents and I wanted you to have a fair amount of interactivity with people who have the same magic as you because the students are separated into dorms by both elements and by gender.
I figured three was a good number for each talent and gender separation, but think about that. That's 3 x 6 x 2 = 32 students. Thirty-freaking-two people who all have their own personalities, names, likes, dislikes, appearances, and affiliations, who may or may not ally with you, will be able to play cards with you, have multiple conversations with you, and may even fall in love with you. It's basically harvest moon, but for mages and with more character development. This gets more boggling when considering that this is 1) just the first year class, 2) ONLY the students, because there are also teachers, shop keepers, and familiars. I really want to pull this off, cuz it'll be awesome if it works out, I'm just worried about getting burned out on the cast creation.
I could help with that if you wanted. Not as a co-author, but I have several unused characters ideas, and if you pm me the scenario, I could pm you back their reaction. Like a couple mini pm rps.
How many classes have an an equal amount of people from each gender? Not very many. Add in the possibility of having exactly three of each ability per gender, and you're basically saying something highly improbable happened. Unless there is some sort of structure that makes each and every class like that.
I'd like that.
:P It's a prestigous academy. My whole reasoning for it having a small (compared to a normally sized school population) cast is that it only accepts a certain number of students a year and it's very selective about which ones, so yes, it's intentional, both in story and out.
Wait, that's a small class? 0.o
32 kids would have around 1/3 of the population in my entire school that I previously went to which spanned from preschool to end of high school.
Small class, no, that's plenty for a class. Small school? Hell yeah. In the United States, the average primary school student population is 446 kids. For middle school, it's 595 kids. For high-school, which is what this would be, it's 752. Compare that to my academy, which, at any given time, would have roughly 144 kids. That's small.
(Also, uh, sorry ... it's 36. I wrote 32, but I meant 36. xD)
That many? 0.o In the school that I went to that spanned from preschool to high school (I bet they would have added collage level too if they could have) there was only a total of 97 kids when everyone was there (which never happened). 36 is a little bit more than a third of that population.
According to that, the population that should have been at my school is around 1993 kids. 0.o
So, did you just live in a small town or did you just go to a small school?
The town it was in was small, but the one we lived in was several many times that size. People would drive to the school from places a little under half an hour away by car, and from a couple different towns around it.
Sounds like my little sister's school.
I would ask where she goes to school, but I'm afraid that sound a bit stocker-y. I am curious though. I left behind a couple friends there, a couple that had an older brother or two. Does 'Aguilar' ring a bell at all?
Stalker*
Not even a little bell. I'm near the middle of Texas.
I was already interested in The Magick Academy just from skimming your projects list, but now I'm enthralled. You're combining magic school with Harvest Moon, two things I absolutely LOVE! I second the motion for you to work on The Magick Academy next, though you might benefit from a well-deserved break too. I just read through this thread and it looks like you pushed yourself pretty hard through sickness. Having recently been terribly ill myself, I know the feeling and you don't want to burn yourself out, as that's far worse than a small break.
Regarding the co-authorship situation, I'd personally love to offer to help, but I'm not sure you'd want the help of someone who hasn't posted their first storygame yet. I'm not a newbie, but I'm not really "tested" either and I'd hate to disappoint. Plus like you I have a big chunk of personal life issues that drain my time and energy, so I wouldn't be able to do as much as I'd like even if you did want my help.
I'm happy to beta-read/test though, that's something I'm good at. At any rate, good luck with TOW and whatever you choose as your next project! :)
I figured the idea would appeal to a wide audience, which is what I was going for, plus, I was always fond of both concepts myself. Harvest Moon was just ... a very different kind of game, one that was oddly relaxing and had its own sort of pace and I just really enjoyed it. I'm probably going to waver a bit between my projects, knowing me, until I find an area of the game where I feel I can really buckle down and focus.
Well, I don't really need a proper co-author. I just need someone to help me fill in some gaps in my game roster, really. This thing is a massive undertaking and I wouldn't subject someone to going into it with me 50/50.
I appreciate that, I will definitely take you up on it when I have more completed on M.A.
He was asking what we wanted him to work on after he finished TOW.
Ogre, I can't finish TOW until the judges let me take it down.
... Also, no. No waffles. I might be willing to negotiate an anti-hero pancake from New Zealand with a dark, buttery past.
Nah, you can ask me for a summary, haha. A couple of them are listed on my page. Write or Die is, ah ... intended to be me dabbling in the Death Note world. I do not have a solid plot for it yet, but I'm thinking alternate continuity with you as an original character who could go either way on the moral spectrum and would likely have a lot of interaction with the canon characters.
I will confess, I am considerably further along with MA, but it is also a beast of a project. xD I've created all of them, I just don't have all of them showing on my page. It got really, really cluttered.
UPDATE: The Other World: As you've probably noticed, T.O.W. has been unpublished and I'm ready to get back to it! Kind of! I'm also kind of distracted by another project simultaneously and no, sadly, it is not M.A., but worse, I'm encountering a bit of writer's block. I have a full outline and ideas but things get a bit hazy in chapter four. Maybe you guys could help me?
Cunning, Courage, Compassion, Humility, and Loyalty. How would you test someone on these virtues?
Current Goal: Fix all known errors. Progress: 78%
Page count: 423 / ???
Well, you can now get weapon upgrades at the smithy in the guild, so that's something. I've also fixed a few errors and made a small attempt (so far) to make battles a bit easier on you people. :P
Edit: Also fixed the forest bandit. You can now defeat him normally and obtain items + exp from him as a result.
I would test Loyalty by building up the person's friendship with someone while simultaneously increasing their desire to fulfill some sort of personal goal. Once a bond has been established, I would then present them with a situation where they're forced to choose between their friend and their goal. The test would obviously be failed if they chose the goal over the friend.
I'm not sure if that's ... applicable in this case, but thank you.
It matters for the sake of continuity.
Thank you for the suggestions. :)
UPDATE: The Other World: So no ideas from you guys, huh? :P I'm still stuck on that, but I'm working on other things in the meantime. I just finished two more of the main ending scenes. Damn, it felt good writing all that. The emotion ... it just made me happy in ways that I can't explain because spoilers.
Current Goal: Finish. Progress: 78%
Spoilers? *peeks around the corner hoping to catch a glimpse of them*
Bad burrito-kitty. No peeking. Not that you could get to any of them anyway.
Edit: Yay, the endings are done! Now I just need to ... make it possible to get them.
UPDATE: The Other World: I've just added two battle mechanics against soldiers, "flee" and "vital strike." So far, they're only present in Serratis, but that will change. They're both chance based, but if you succeed, you can either get away from the battle unscathed or end the fight in one blow. These features are only available out in the field, though. Running away during the first chapter or from a boss fight won't work.
I'm also heavily considering making them completely unavailable for the Plague-born battles because ... well, they're not supposed to be the kind of undeads that have weak points and they're not exactly slow, either. Still, if you've made an effort in the camp of the third chapter, handling them probably won't be that hard.
Page count: 426 / ???
UPDATE: The Other World: ... Right, I still need to finish this damn thing, don't I?
Page count: 458 / ???
Workin' on it.
Page count: 494.
UPDATE: The Other World: Working on the Phantasma Desert still because I've been bouncing around in the chapters. I'm also trying to incorporate a lot of elements that weren't available / hadn't reached their full potential before. Wish I had a second brain to keep track of all this, lol.
Page count: 494 / ???
*poke poke*
Update? The Other World is looking good so far Kiel. ^-^
Also, tell me when you start working on Magik Academy so I can help with the interactions between the main character and the classmates.
... An update, huh?
Well, I'm making a cardiology appointment for myself today because I started having intense chest pains at work, found out my blood pressure was sky high, and I was short of breath. Popped an aspirin, got an EKG, and found out one of the valves in my heart is enlarged. I'm not an expert in cardiology, so I'll have to go see a guy in another town.
*sigh* I actually think I know what it is, though, I just need a specialist's opinion and if I'm right ... I may need to start on blood thinners in the future. :| Unless I want a heart attack or a stroke. Damn it.
:P It's related to the writing. How much do you think I've gotten done with this crap going on? Taco is a girl, Ogre. xD
:\ There isn't really a way to make this kind of thing "all better," let alone "quickly." I just ... may have to take warfarin for the rest of my life. (Or xarelto ... I doubt he'd suggest Lovenox shots, since those are short term, but ... >_>' yeah, I'd really hate to have to give myself a shot every single morning.)
EDIT: Nyeh, that felt quite insensitive, I'm sorry.
Never saw your first message, so ... *shrug* no worries, I guess.
I was naming off H.P. Lovecraft and Bram Stoker and a few others, and saying how they got pretty sick sometimes too, then I made a joke about how health problems might just be an occupational hazard for awesome horror story writers, but the way I put it just felt too much like an insult upon proofreading.
Huh. That sounds complimentary if anything. And tbph, if I'm not made too busy by something that's eating me, I actually do tend to write better. That bit about Jace / Kyra contemplating the sum of their existence (the part that Madglee liked enough to quote) didn't exactly come from a happy place, after all.
Yeah. I mean, if you gotta, you gotta. People adapt.
xD It'd be nice.
I'll write a proper update later today / tomorrow after I've had a few hours to do some real work.
UPDATE: The Other World: My sense of focus is just ... shot. I don't know why. I'm working on a part where you get to talk to a ... familiar character from the prequel, though not one you saw much of, if you saw him at all. Incidentally, is anyone here better versed in Nordic Mythology than I am?
I know a little on norse mythology.
*peers at you* How much is a little? Because I'm familiar with Odin, Loki, and Thor (and I'm not referring to the Marvel universe versions, fun as they are) and I'm also familiar with the realms, and Fenrir (... Fenrir is my favorite creature in Norse myth, and that will be relevant one day, just never to this series) and I know a little about Njord, who I'm now fond of, because he was forced to marry this powerful giantess because his feet were the most beautiful out of all the gods ... (letting the weirdness of this sink in a moment) and she wants to stay close to home, so she frequently leaves him all alone and he pines for her, hence, storms out at sea. I think.
I'm pretty sure this is from Norse mythology, unless I'm mistaken.
At the beginning there was a chasm, Ginnungagap. Bound on either side was fire and ice. When fire and ice met, they combined, creating the first ocean. However, the contact between two fierce elements not only created dark waters, but also left a bright spark. A spark shivering from it's duel nature, yet so powerful it created life. Formed by and filled with the two opposing forces, they left the ocean in pairs. The hawk with the snake, the horse with the fox, the elk with the spider, the boar with the rat, (etc), and the wolf with the man. Together, they spread across the hostile lands of the newly born realm. The world was devastated and unstable due to it's duel nature. It needed guardians - guides who could help it keep the balance between the cold darkness of ice and the burning light of fire. They split their ways to divide the work among all of them, each taking care of a different aspect of the world. From each species arose two guardians, a white and a black spirit. They not only keep the balance of their own kinds, but also in the whole world by fulfilling the tasks given to them at the beginning of time. They lead an eternal existence, dying and being born again thousands of times. Dividing the work made the world easier to guard, but it also made bonds between brothers weaker and more fragile. If the cycle is broken and the spirit cannot be reborn, the delicate harmony is lost and it's kind goes extinct, entailing the slow death of its brother species. And without the guardians, some of the worlds aspects simply disappear.
How that's going to lead to gods and such, I have no idea. I'm pretty sure Fenrir had been the black wolf spirit for a time, or was a parent for the black wolf spirit. For wolves, the correct titles are 'Skoll' (white) and 'Hati' (black), the ravens 'Huggin' and 'Munnin', and one of the dragons was 'odin'. Maybe each of the spirits evolved into gods or something and kept the titles as names. I can't remember the titles for the human aspect of this. I was only curious about the wolf aspect of Norse mythology when I came across this.
Fenrir is the eldest child of Loki, actually, and his story--strangely--interests me more than all the others, even though it's really not that weird. He was feared more than any other creature among the gods, so, even though he was Loki's child, he was an outcast among them and he tricked into being bound by a deceptive ribbon that the gods forged from some ... very bizarre ingredients. Mind you, Fenrir had never done anything wrong, he had just grown very large and powerful.
It was supposed to be a test of strength--that's what they told him, but Fenrir asked that as a show of good faith--to prove that they weren't trying to leave him bound forever--one of the gods would put their hand in his mouth while he tried to break the ribbon. Well, they all knew whoever did it was GOING to lose a hand once Fenrir realized that he couldn't break free and that they were just going to leave him there, and Tyr was the only one brave enough to stick his hand in there, so he did and predictably, finding out he'd been betrayed, Fenrir bit it off.
I just can't help feeling a little sorry for him. I mean, granted, he's supposed to get free during Ragnarok to enact a bit more of the revenge he no doubt plotted for centuries, but he's going to be killed anyway if memory serves. It's just got to suck, being betrayed by your dad and all his buddies, then left to die just because of genetics.
Truth be told, I've always wanted to write a story that involved him as one of the main characters.
Well, there is a prophecy that says that he would bring the Ragnorak, correct? And would be free at the time of Ragnorak. Put that together with the possibility of him being the black wolf spirit, and that if one of the black/white spirits dies and cannot be reborn, then that aspect of the world disappears. The two are supposed to guard each other as well as the aspect of the world given them. If Fenrir is tied up, he couldn't protect the white spirit. If the white spirit dies and cannot be reborn, then it would be Fenrir's fault for not being able to be there and protect it. It just so happens that the white wolf spirit is supposed to guard the sun, while the black guards the moon. So, the death of the white wolf spirit and the lack of being reborn would cause the sun to disappear, and throw the world into chaos, Ragnorak. Fenrir would be free then, and the prophecy would be fulfilled and he would be free at the time of Ragnorak.
You could make a story based off of that. ^
Was? Isn't Ragnarok the end of the world? I don't think the world has ended yet.
Depends on who you ask, because I've heard some crazy theories ...
Here we go. So it's not fenrir himself that carries the black spirit, but one of his sons. The other carrying the white spirit.
"Fenrir has two sons, Hati and Skoll. Skoll chases the horses, that drag the chariot which contains the sun. Hati chases the moon. 'Skoll', in certain circumstances, is used as a heiti to refer indirectly to the father (Fenrir) and not the son. This ambiguity works in the other direction also, for example in the Vafþrúðnismál, where a confusion exists in stanza 46 where Fenrir is given the sun-chasing attributes of his son Skoll. This can mostly be accounted for by the use of Hróðvitnir and Hróðvitnirson to refer to both Fenrir and his sons."
Yeah, but again, I already have plans for the guy ... though I had forgotten about Skoll and Hati, I did know about them. However, the mistake is pretty clear since he really couldn't have done what they did, not while being bound--come to think of it, how'd he have kids? >_>'
I would, but he's not online at the moment...
Probably. I don't remember the story very well, but I do remember a lot of things died.
Thank you for the suggestion, but Fenrir isn't the black wolf, and even if he was, I already have a concept for a story involving him... :P aaand I'm already contemplating a sequel, though I'm not sure how to work out a good chunk of the plot.
Ahh, Lady Hel. I like her. Maybe because of video game cameos, but still.
UPDATE: The Other World: I love online text editors. They have so many nice features that can fix little screw-ups and save time, especially with scripting, like 'text replacement' ... anyway, I've gotten a little further by fixing three of the battles with a bit more of a variation on your actions. What I've been stuck on this whole damn time is Satorius. It seems that you guys really liked Selene / Darren, which ... surprised me. I had cut corners with them originally, so now I'm trying to fix that.
Page count: 508 / ???
UPDATE: The Other World: So, I've gone back to working on the fourth chapter again because I've gotten a bit more of an idea of what I want to do in one specific area. My imagination keeps trying to run off in different directions, though. >_> I think it's afraid I'm going to nail its foot to the floor to get it to stay put for a while so I can finish this thing...
I honestly haven't worked on my story at all from Sunday night til ... today. Work is killing me and I think something's wrong with me because I'm constantly tired.
Take a break from stressing over your story. You've more than deserved it. Jot down the general idea of what you know you want to do, and forget about it for a couple weeks. This is the kind of dedication you should be giving your spouse, not an online site.
Everything needs rest. If, say a whirligig was constantly in motion from the wind blowing it, then it would break. A man put under constant pressure can also break quite easily. I'm pretty sure you've been working past breaking point.
A sick man shouldn't be doing anything but rest, but you still came on and worked on it. For that, I admire your dedication, but you still need to rest.
Oh, believe me, I am dedicated to my spouse. And my job. And my family. And frankly, that's probably why I'm tired all the damn time. Games on my phone, working this site, reading webcomics, and sleeping are basically the only things I do just for me. :P
I write because it relaxes me, but ... I haven't slept yet and I probably should. *sigh*
=\ Ehh. Maybe you two are right about taking a rest... a nap might clear my head.
A tablet by your bed, dude. I usually grab my phone and jot down a note. Now, what -I- can't figure out how to deal with is when my best ideas occur in the shower. >_> Can't write on anything when your hands are covered in soap and you don't wanna soak your bathroom floor.
Tried to sleep, couldn't. Even when I thought I could, I ended up getting right back up to cook for my hungry sweetheart instead, because I'm a sucker for those baby blue puppy eyes, apparently. (Plus, I am fond of the whole, "if you cook, I'll wash dishes" deal, because I like cooking and I hate washing dishes.)
QUESTION: Any game puzzle ideas you guys would be interested in donating to a specific part of the game? If I can use them, I will credit you. I've already got a couple, but I still need about three more. (If you're interested, PM me, please. Don't post here. xD)
You're old enough to grade assignments? If I knew that, I'd forgotten.
UPDATE: The Other World: I've worked more on the guild square and the in-game lore that your character gets access to, so, progress. I fixed a few little issues and a glitch or two as well. Also, I'm no longer accepting puzzle ideas. :P Figure enough of them out on my own, unsurprisingly, it just would've saved me a lil' time to have help. I do need to figure out how the hell to script one of them, but it shouldn't be ... too terribly complex. I think. I haven't the faintest idea how long finishing will take me now, though.
Progress: ??%
Page count: 516 / ???
When my game is finished, do any of you want to be PMed / tagged in a notification post?
Yes please. ^-^
Add me to the yes column, if'n ya don't mind. :)
Your second quote made me laugh, btw.
UPDATE: The Other World: Seems like I'm only writing, really writing, on Fridays and Saturdays now. It's not an intentional restriction, I just can't justify or even find the time during the rest of the week. Too busy. =|
On a lighter, amusing note, just saw this review:
holy shit that was short..
A Game of Life and Death Manson (Score of 2000) 5/1/2015 7:58:29 PM
Out of all the things that T.O.W.'s predecessor has been called in the past, that is a first. xD
XD He probably tried to go home, and ended up being run over. Or am I thinking of the wrong story?
No, you're thinking of the right one. xD I was just trying to picture someone on here reading all 800-900 pages (or whatever it was,) and being like, "pfft, this wasn't a story, it was a pamphlet at best!"
Re-working the fighting mechanics again, now mostly for the Arena of Horrors, to give the player a chance to grind up some levels for the coming battles at the finale. I'll be offering a less battle-focused method of dealing with ... some of your problems, granted, perhaps even most, but I do intend for this leveling system to get in a work-out. I'm mostly done, at least.
I think once the AoH is fully operational, I'll go back to Satorius and see what I can do about the requests pertaining to Selene/Darren. Once -that- is fully finished, I'm going to work on the Guild's 'Mission Master' and then I'll finally get back to just purely chugging along on the main story itself.
It ... seriously just occurred to me to add "current exp" and "exp required for level up" to the list of info on your stat sheet. Testing the leveling system using the Arena reassured me that my level up scripting is still working beautifully, still allowing left over exp to count towards the next level ... and now y'all all have a set goal to work towards with battling. I feel silly knowing that it took me this long to go 'Durr, I wonder if my reader wants to see their progress?'
Page count: 521 / ???
I just did a ridiculous amount of scripting on this game, in addition to general page writing, adding some more items, adding some backgrounds to a few more blank pages, exc, exc. It was a productive weekend.
UPDATE: The Other World: I've gotten a lot done lately. =\ But I'm definitely going to have to post-pone restarting the writing exercises. I'm so close to finishing this thing, and yet so far... ugh. Well, at any rate, people who like Darren/Selene may be a bit happier now--though, I advise against 'sneak peek' playthroughs on the new path at present. It's still missing some critical pieces.
On a semi-related topic, I just got this review:
Should be rated R, as a younger player, the vampire picture gave me a fright. Please put a warning on it
A Game of Life and Death Anonymus (Score of 2000) 5/10/2015 8:32:10 AM ... :P Not the first time I've seen someone suggest that GOLAD's rating is too low, but I do find it hilarious that even after I put a detailed warning on the damn thing that anyone would ask for a warning. >_> Why should I bother if you're not going to read it anyway?
That said, I sincerely hope no one expects The Other World to be tame. I won't slap GOLAD with an R unless forced because it doesn't deserve it. TOW is another story (literally and metaphorically, heeh) --and not just because of the massacre at Aureus.
Page count: 544 / ???
You could put a warning with a big ass font size and the highest maturity rating possible and you'd still get people reading it anyway complaining that it was too much for them.
You're right. Your stories are probably the best example on this site of the fact that people just don't listen.
It's just ... >_> like with parents who buy 10 year olds M-rated games, I find this kind of obliviousness followed by indignation profoundly stupid.
That, too! xD At least his death was quick. Not everyone in this story has that luxury.
Maybe you should edit some infanticide into GOLaD, so people will have a reason to complain other than "scary vampire pictures".
Maybe the witch's daughter could have a minifridge full of caramel covered crib crawlers or a box of toasted toddler toffee crunch right next to the jar of cat innards in the pantry.
LOL ... tempting idea. Truth is, I did reference it. It was more of a throw away joke that not everyone would understand, though:
"You open the cabinets around the kitchen and check their contents. All you find, sadly, are various sized serving dishes, bowls, plates, pots, pans, a small cauldron, a small spice rack, a few dried bones, a tea kettle, a few cookbooks (among them is the infamous "A Modest Proposal") and some cooking utensils."
Yay! I was hoping at least one reader would. xD >_>' Yeah ... I heard that he had a real problem with that, back when everyone first started reading it. I can't believe so many people took him seriously. (... Considering the mid-quel does take place in the house--albeit mostly in unexplored territory--I'm definitely going to try to find a way to fit one of those "desserts" into Devil's Chess. xD Thanks in advance.)
I know more than one person has been poking around T.O.W. while it's unfinished and I've allowed that because the link to the contest in the "news" category of the forums lets you in, but so far, I've kept most of the unfinished pathways closed off while writing so that no confused new members would stumble into a "broken" pathway.
I was planning on opening them up and turning off sneak preview, but I was also hoping that one (or some) of my fellow site members would be up for beta-reading. Any takers?
Sure!
Cool. :) I've added you. >_> Careful poking around in my brain, it's a confusing and disturbing place.
Brain: EHEHEHE!
What's that?
I have no idea.
http://static.zerochan.net/full/15/05/1040265.jpg
UPDATE: The Other World: My revisions of chapter two are almost complete. What's honestly been holding me up this whole freaking time is offering the player (multiple) other options in the case of what happens in Satorius. I'm just about satisfied, but I still have to double check the scripting and make some additions to the start of chapter three to account for the possibilities. After that, I'll be finishing up the guild so the player can go on missions to some of the other cities ... and then I'll finally get back to completely the main storyline. My ambitions will be the death of me.
*completing
*My ambitions will make me famous.
Lol ... missed this. On the ball as usual, Taco. :)
UPDATE: The Other World: I've made some more progress today, just wish I could go faster than this.
But ... but Quiller is even slower than me! xD
I could ask Will, though. Hmmmm.
But ... I already have Bevan. :P
UPDATE: The Other World: Alright, the main portion of chapter three is complete. Next the missions, then chapter four and all of its little branching pieces, and ... that's it, I guess.
Edit: Never mind, one of my pages inexplicably deleted its entire contents, even though I saved it. X_x So, one more page...
Page count: 546 / ???
Apparently I lied, sorry ... I just did a play-through up to the end of chapter 3 and I found a ton of problems. *sigh* I've fixed several, but there's a list and I'm not quite done, plus I'm paranoid now, so I'll be checking several more pages "just incase."
UPDATE: The Other World: Ahh ... now that was a satisfying fight to write. If you've read the spirit weapon battles of GOLAD, you might've noticed that I had fun writing those--particularly the "hidden" one. It's delightful to create a villain who is irredeemably awful and then just totally destroy them in a scene ... granted, that doesn't apply to this situation because of the circumstances, but the mechanics of the fight were fun, too. I'm starting to feel my enthusiasm return.
Page count: 569 / ???
I'm planning on it. Honestly, if I did that for every skeleton and immortal minion, I'd never finish ... but grinding in this game IS (mostly) optional and any GOLAD style fights will be the most plot-relevant ones / boss type fights.
Meh. I will stalk this storygame, but WHY DOES EVERYTHING MAKE YOU/ME/EVERY FREAKIN` BODY TIRED?!
I was gonna do a storygame on The Rithmatist, but it`d kinda be a narrow audience. It`s not the most popular book in the world , is it? ...
I didn't mention being tired in that post, though.
I have no idea what you're talking about. xD
UPDATE: The Other World: Almost finished with the brunt of chapter four, now. Six pages left to go and I'll have finished up a rather important boss battle. (Still five potential fights and one required fight away from the final confrontation, though.) I also need to complete all of the mission mini-chapters that branch out from chapter three and chapter four's mini-chapters which lead the player into the last city in the game ... but that, and some last minute coding, will be it.
Page count: 628 / ???
I wonder if all of those 'mini chapters' are going to add up, along with all hte fights if you do them, to the page count of Dead Man Walking.
Doubtful. DMW is fucking huge.
If I remember correctly, there are 1,042 pages. I'll go double check that. If I can find the post again.
I'd be a bit horrified if TOW became larger than GOLAD, tbh.
Well, those six pages are done. Edit: And now, they all have backgrounds. Woo.
UPDATE: The Other World: Update pending.
Completed Main Chapters: 4/4 (100%!) Completed Mini Chapters: 14 / 26 (53.8%)
Wow. Back to proofreading!
14/25* now. Decided to scrap one, as I can't honestly remember what I planned to do during that mission anyway.
My anticipation for the completion of this story is rapidly building, because I honestly ended on a cliff-hanger the last time I "red ahead."
I hope you complete this after June 22nd (so I can completely focus on reading the story after my final exams, while still getting the hype of its initial release), but godspeed anyway!
UPDATE: The Other World: In a slump today. My insomnia is just killing me. I'm trying to wear out my mind by writing so I can sleep, but I can't focus on the project itself because of the thoughts that are keeping me awake and the combination has made me rather crabby over the past few days.
I still feel like a jerk for snapping at someone yesterday--it wasn't exactly out of nowhere, but it was mean and I went too far ... sure, I snark and leave scathing reviews and create bloody dystopias to kill off innocent characters with amusingly cruel villains, but underneath it all--(often to my chagrin)--is a heart roughly the consistency of a marshmallow. >_>'
TL;DR: I worked on it, not much, more tomorrow.
Oooooooooooooo.......marshmallow. O.O I like marshmallows.....
Aw, don't worry about it. We all have rough days.
UPDATE: The Other World: Just worked on the final puzzle for one of the game's last areas. It's a good one. Well, as far as the mechanics go, it's good. ... ... Well, I like it, anyway. <_<; Up to a page count of 689. The chapter I'm putting most of my focus into needs a lot of cleaning up, but it's close.
Completed Main Chapters: 4/4 (100%!) Completed Mini Chapters: 14 / 25 (56.0%)
Depends on how much of it you intend to read. Five of those chapters are completely optional missions which, while benefiting you in the long run and adding a little depth to the world, are not at all consequential to your story's ending. The rest are shorter than you probably think ... but even so, this ain't exactly a pamphlet I'm writing.
xD I figured from the second comment, but in the event that you were still partially serious, that's the answer, hehe. (That reminds me, though. I'm probably going to have to make a walk-through for this thing shortly after I post it.)
I`m sorry, but *cringes at own n00bity* what is the storygame gonna be about? By the sounds of it, it`s gonna rival the Wal*mart game.
P.S. Is Wal*mart a real department store? It sounds silly enough.
It's an alternate universe future-set "sequel" (sorta) to my first game, which you can find here: link
Basically, the first game had three primary antagonists, one of which is the ghost of a powerful sorceress who was hell-bent on enslaving humanity. (There's a lot more to it, like the other realms and some deities, but eh.) If you get to a spectacularly bad ending in the first game, you get a brief glimpse at what would happen if you, the protagonist, became possessed by that ghost and if she used your body to raise an army of undead soldiers to conquer the world.
When one of the admins on here made a contest with the theme being "post-apocalyptic" (more specifically, "the destruction of society as we know it") I decided to make that bad ending a game of its own.
If you're young or easily offended, I'm warning you now, there's a high body count in this new game and I'm not shy about details, either. Torture, mass homicide, cannibalism, exc. You play as a runaway slave who, through the course of the game, tries to survive the world and, eventually, tries to change it. If that interests you, well, it's not done yet and it won't be for a while.
... You're not an American, are you? xD Yes, Wal-Mart exists. It's an extremely common store.
... x-x
The game sounds just my cup of tea. Mass homicides, post-apocalyptic, slaves, torture and possession (possibly exorcists?). :D
Mmm ... talking about anything concerning the fate of the former main character would be a spoiler, so I can't confirm or deny anything about exorcists/exorcisms, but still, there's a lot of stuff in this game--which is why it's taking me a while to complete. I'm getting close to finishing it, but RL constantly pulls me away.
Yeah, RL tends to do that at the most annoying moments xp
I think I missed a trick in the first game lol.
Unless you account for the fact that I enjoy screwing with people. I've been known to say stuff like that purely because it sounds like a bad cover up since it'll throw most people off. :P It's possible that you'll feel even more sure of your theory because explaining this may also look like just another cover up ... which may or may not be my intention ... and it's also possible you'll completely abandon said theory, which also might be my intention.
(In other words, everybody's just gonna have to wait. xD)
xD I do miss it sometimes.
UPDATE: The Other World: I've been sick since Wednesday night. (I know, I know, my health sucks, what else is new, right?) I suspect this is because of my insomnia rearing its ugly head for about a week combined with the wet weather and my patients / co-workers getting infections, then passing them onto my compromised immune system.
Of course, now that my insomnia has let up and my schedule is free, I still haven't been able to sleep. Even with a glob of vicks, a vaporizer, a hot shower, gallons of fluids, and a mountain of pillows, I still feel like I can't breathe when I lay down and I can't get comfortable enough to sleep more than a few hours at a time. You'd think I'd have written something in this time because ... what else am I gonna do, right?
Sadly, until just about two hours ago, I was too miserable to focus. I've just been playing video games, reading obscure manga, and watching tv with my better half, who obviously doesn't care about getting sick--'cuz I sure as hell wouldn't wanna cuddle up to me right now... (But I wouldn't wanna cuddIe with myself regardless. Creepy. Nope, truth is, I act just as reckless when the situation is reversed.)
Anyway, after the very attentive care of my spouse, I feel like being productive, so I'll try to finish a mini-chapter today. ^^
UPDATE: The Other World: Woo, another mini-chapter complete!
Completed Main Chapters: 4/4 (100%!) Completed Mini Chapters: 15 / 25 (60.0%)
I'd like that. A lot, in fact. I can always use an extra set of eyes to help catch flaws, but ... mmm ... I vaguely recall you saying you didn't want to read until it was finished. =\ I don't want to spoil the finished game for you.
UPDATE: The Other World: Need to finish two "game over screens" and the battle for this current mini-chapter, but then it'll be done.
Can't wait for it to be done. :)
I am 99.99999999% sure that this is going to be featured ASAP once it's published.
I can't wait for it to be done, either. xD
Not going to lie, I really freaking hope so ... seeing as it's no longer technically a new game, it'd get shoved to the back of the list of games pretty quickly if it isn't featured and after all that effort, it'd be a damn shame. xD
I think I'm inclined to screw around more because I'm burned out on battles. I really should be more pumped about the scenarios I'm working on right now--they're fun concepts to me--but I'm not.
If I DO work on M.A. after this, (after a long break from writing) I'm definitely going to put off on working with the fighting system for a while. It'd be nice to just focus on mini-games, world-building, and character interaction. I'm contemplating making another quiz first though, just as a "quick productivity" project. My MTG quiz felt like a milestone marker of sorts and people seem to like it. I wonder if I can make a better one--not about MTG, ofc. Anyway, first things first, back to--*removed for spoilers* Page count: 704 / ???
UPDATE: The Other World: Bah, damn scene-specific writer's block. I want to finish that chapter so badly ... ! To get myself moving on something, though, I'm working on the intros to the other final areas. I like them thus far, I just hope it doesn't tend toward monotony since I have five goals your character must accomplish before you reach the last location. There are short ways, though, and they do vary in method (if you let them) so ... probably not.
UPDATE: The Other World: Just random, scattered progress, really. It's annoying, but it's something.
Completed Main Chapters: 4/4 (100%!) Completed Mini Chapters: 15 / 25 (60.0%) Page count: 723 / ???
Slowly, veeeery slowly. I'm looking for my writing notes at the moment. *sigh*
I guess so. I mean, I'm getting somewhere ... eventually ...
Come on! You can do it!
(For some reason, I'm really wanting to post something inspired by Finding Nemo. XD) Just keep going, just keep going, just keep going, going, going~!
Lol, I always liked Dori.
UPDATE: The Other World: Random, but out of all the lines on this new page I've written ... I just really like this particular one: "(...) Now, here you stand, with a mad god for a warden in a prison made of flesh." There's just something delightfully eerie about the imagery that comes to mind.
... ;_; B-but it's fun!
You ain't doing it right if the kid doesn't cry.
Nine pages to go and I'll have finished another mini-chapter--it's only 28 pages in total. Why the hell has this one taken me so long ... ? It's kind of pitiful. Bleh. But, hopefully the rest will go by faster, I've already worked on them quite a bit. =D
Edit: Make that five.
Four.
As of right now? Yes.
Two--but I have to pause to throw in all the scripting I've been neglecting for the sake of just pure story.
...and then he has to wait for me to proofread...
DONE! =D ... >.> With that chapter, but still! =D
Completed Mini Chapters: 16 / 25 (64.0%)
UPDATE: The Other World: Working on the third of the critical mini-chapters. I've already got quite a bit of progress on it, it's just not in the editor and I'm still indecisive about how the "best" path will be accessible. With these mini-chapters, all of them have two methods of getting out alive, but ... :P you know me by now, there's always a secret tucked away in there somewhere. I'm not ... entirely thrilled about this particular chapter tbh, but it fits the rest of the story, so hopefully it'll turn out well.
Completed Main Chapters: 4/4 (100%!) Completed Mini Chapters: 16 / 25 (64.0%) Page count: 734 / ???
Meeeh... I'm not making good progress.
UPDATE: The Other World: *poking my writing muse with a stick* ... Guuuuys, I think it's dead. It's not moving. >.> C'mon. C'moooon. Move. Please? Pretty please?
I appreciate the effort, lol. I have today and tomorrow off. My schedule is still full, but I'm going to try to get some good work done.
Four pages in less than 30 minutes. That's not bad.
Six. :P
10 finished, 5 more started, and it'll probably be about 5-10 more after that before this mini-chapter is finished. I need some sleep first, though. Worked all night last night. Bbl.
How am I going to get through something as big as MA after this? Geez. Also, I'm at page 754. >_>;
UPDATE: The Other World: If I flesh out all of pages I have set up in this chapter, it'll be finished. I probably could've done it yesterday, but I was spending time with my spouse and my sister-in-law, so I really didn't have the time. Aside from that, I was pretty damn tired yesterday and today. Anyway, still chuggin' along.
Completed Main Chapters: 4/4 (100%!) Completed Mini Chapters: 16 / 25 (64.0%) Page count: 762 / ???
...I have ALOT to proofread again...Had to go to camp, and got this massive sunburn on my face which has now blistered horribly. My mom says there's a rather high chance of it scarring....
:P Yep, and you'll (hopefully) have a lot more by Thursday. For now, though, I need a nap.
ya spouse and ya sista? u fokin wot, m8? i swer on me mum...
Jk. Glad you're making progress.
UPDATE: The Other World: Eight pages left in this chapter and some fine-tuning. 8 more minis that need to be started and/or completed after that. I guess I'd estimate I have 160 total pages remaining at maximum, 80 at minimum--but knowing me, I'll probably prove myself wrong again.
Five.
How you stay motivated is beyond me.
Masochism, maybe? I'm 762 pages in. xD Quitting now would be a ridiculous waste.
Well, I'm a just place this here. Hopefully you find it motivational. crotch diamond
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cxCCp3nbCEk&safe=active
Four. Got distracted by the release of the new King's Quest game. The games were a big inspiration for me. Unfortunately, there is nothing particularly inspiring about this new one. I didn't expect it to have the same charm as the originals, especially with a new dev team, but ... >_>' I hoped. It's not Mask of Eternity bad, or even KQ7 bad ... but it's sad when unpaid fans can make better follow ups than paid professionals. Or remakes. (Lookin' at you, Romancing the Stones. <3)
Anyway, yes, I'll get back to writing.
Your theme song.
Lol. (Also, two.)
The pages for the chapter are complete, but I'm not putting up the 17/25 post yet because I need to iron out all the scripting on the more recent pages.
... You couldn't even bring me one of the newer models with built in WiFi? Fail! Fail, I say.
Work is the reason this is taking me so long. :P
UPDATE: The Other World: ... I hate my goddamn job. Pretty sure my clean up work on the most recent chapter is done. 8 more minis that need to be completed. Some of them are pretty close to being finished already, but need tweaking--most of which I can't do until a connected chapter is complete.
Completed Main Chapters: 4/4 (100%!) Completed Mini Chapters: 17 / 25 (68.0%)
UPDATE: The Other World: I would've gotten a lot more done yesterday and today, but... so busy...
Not a typo. There's been progress, but not enough that it'd register on my chapter count. :P
I am concerned about getting too far ahead of my beta-reader, though ... *cough* @TacocaT *cough*
Really looking forward to reading the completed story :D Definitely going to be fantastic!
Thanks, Will. These last few chapters are so stubborn. ^^;
Nothing to do but just keep going, little by little.
Huh. Sorry, I didn't see this until now.
Anyway, don't worry about getting too far ahead. XD I mean, when I first started beta-reading, you were at 544+ pages, and I got through that in 1-2 weeks I think? Anyway, once I have time and stop getting sidetracked with other pointless online games, I'll probably catch up rather quickly. And then I'll probably end up stalling on my own games. >_<
UPDATE: The Other World: I am going on a five day vacation to the coast with my immediate family and spouse. It's not likely that I'll have access to a computer with internet. I'll probably work on TOW in my spare time (offline) and I'll have my phone for answering PMs if anyone wants to talk, but please don't tag me 'til Sunday. xD You can, sure, but I won't reply on the forums.
Triple post.
I have a notepad on my phone. Believe it or not, a good portion of TOW was written on that thing.
This, too.
UPDATE: The Other World: I came back early to help my spouse with some business we had to take care of closer to home. Didn't get much story work done in between the seafood restaurants, fishing, swimming, family bonding (and freak outs, and fighting, *sigh* teenage / young siblings and antsy parents...) dolphin watching, boat rides with fake pirate attacks / burning ships in distress, petting puffer fish, cook-outs, exc. It was a lot of fun and I got off with a small, mild sunburn. (My partner, on the other hand, looks like a lobster. I offered to help, but "no, no, I'm good, hun, it's fine, I don't need more sunblock" ... :P)
The 18th mini-chapter should be complete soon, though, if I can get some time to myself.
Completed Main Chapters: 4/4 (100%!) Completed Mini Chapters: 17 / 25 (68.0%) Page Count: 767 / ???
I'm reasonbly sure you'll die and your estate will have to publish this and learn CYS scripting. Until then, however, good luck.
Everyone dies someday. But, no. Kiel is not going to die yet. If he does, I'll track him down, bring him back, and make him finish up that story. I will not tolerate someone else finishing it. Same with any book - if the original author dies and someone else finishes the book, they always mess things up. Character personalities, style, everything.
xD ... As opposed to the current millions already implied to exist, of whom you can face hundreds?
I'm not that old, Malk. Besides, I finished 6 pages today.
You're never too young to get run down by the Cartel.
I dunno, you don't hear about infants getting mixed up in all that...
That's because nobody squeals on the Cartel, pendejo.
xD
I love that meme, haha.
Should I run?
No one can run far enough to escape it. No one.
?im scared...
Lol!!!
UPDATE: The Other World: Four more pages finished. (Two of them started today.) 8 more regular story pages left for this chapter and a fight, which is kind of unpredictable on page count. After that, 7 chapters left. The next realm should be cake for me to finish in comparison to the first four. No ambiguity to what I wanna do there. The one after that ... was going to involve a big fight, but I think I'll scrap it and just go for pure story there in favor of moving onto the last fight of the game.
Completed Main Chapters: 4/4 (100%!) Completed Mini Chapters: 17 / 25 (68.0%) Page Count: 769 / ???
Ayyyyy lamp Plato fornication lmao. Fucking autocorrect.
glad you're making progress.
YOU CAN DO EEET!
Another chapter complete! Completed Mini Chapters: 18 / 25 (72.0%)
The next one might even be done today, it's already partially complete.
Yay momentum! ^_^
Indeed, 8 more pages finished. This chapter needs a fair amount of clean up, a few more pages, and some scripting work, but as soon as that's done, I'll only have 6 left. :3
Good to see you making progress Kiel :D
^^ Thank you.
Errr... It's probably too late to give helpful advice, but jacking off in the shower works if you have awkward sleeping arrangements.
Ehh. True, but if my partner's going to be right there--don't get me wrong, it's still "fun" alone, but ... "the more, the merrier."
Yeah, but you can't exactly screw in front of your family - and two people walking into the shower on their own is going to create an awkward situation.
However, right now I'm giving advise to a six-month-old post like a loon.
... Depends on how creative you are? xD You might be surprised at the stuff I've gotten away with. (Hell, I sure am.) I had a few days away with my family and still showered with my spouse. No one said anything, but it was my family, not my in-laws, so no one noticed. Unfortunately, they gave us the bedroom that locks from the outside. X_x' Thanks, dad.
Thank god for small mercies.
Pfft. Well, I have little sisters, and ... I really don't trust them not to barge into my room early in the morning, because of how many times one of them has done precisely that. x_x' In short, I've learned that timing is everything. Speaking of timing, time to finish this next chapter. *resumes writing*
I've got some writing to do as well. Good... good talking to you, Kiel. XD
xD Same to you.
Two more branches of this fight, a bit more clean up and scripting, and then this one's done...
Participated in an MTG tournament which ... I wouldn't have been able to because I came late and didn't know there was an entry fee, except that one of the guys dropped out last minute after paying the fee, so ... they gave both me and my spouse free pizza, I got a booster pack just for playing, and they partnered me with a guy who had a BEAST of a deck and let me use his because it was up to proper standards, so ... we won, giving both me and my partner four booster packs each as a prizes.
... o.0' So yeah. I've had the weirdest string of good and bad luck episodes lately. Anyway, this chapter is ... almost done, but I'm really, really tired. But hey, it's the weekend. Yay, weekend. (*trying not to go crazy from the lack of work hours lately*)
Not all my luck is good. That story comes on the heel of some very, very concerning problems at work that are leading to a lapse in my in-come--which was proceeded by some good luck for my spouse and a new car... basically, this entire month has been a roller-coaster, but that just seems to be how my life works.
Three more pages. I hate re-using pieces of dialogue or exposition for branching pathways, but when it's necessary ... well ... it saves time, anyway. :| I still try to make each experience fairly unique.
UPDATE: The Other World: Another chapter complete! ONWARD, TO VICTORY!
Completed Main Chapters: 4/4 (100%!) Completed Mini Chapters: 19 / 25 (76.0%) Page Count: 769 / ???
Woot! :D
Kiel, you're almost there! Two steps to the finish line!
UPDATE: The Other World: Another one complete! =D FIVE LEFT!
Completed Main Chapters: 4/4 (100%!) Completed Mini Chapters: 20 / 25 (80.0%) Page Count: 770 / ???
>_<' And heeere's where my momentum is going to start slowing down again. The fifth-to-last is pretty damn important and includes two plot-furthering major fight scenes, the remaining four are based on filler that allows you to level up and closure for the player / PC.
OMG, shhhh... spoilers. :P
(Or maybe that's just what I want you to think. :D)
This is gonna be one of those things...like, when that first person made a loom band dress or finished one of those mad trialing McDonalds tablecloth/colouring books or got Malkalack to write whatever...someone is gonna go on YouTube and say, "I`m the first one to finish all the endings in Kiel`s 800 page (Cloudehstimahteh) story/text-based videogame. Suck it, dudes." You know? Instead of a speedpaint speed read xD rofl
Haha... good luck, the hidden epilogue's a bitch to get if you dunno how--though, I've done my best to make it worth the effort.
Damn, this is getting long... new thread~! =D
