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HA! PATHETIC LOSERS, I HAVE A GIRLFRIEND!

 

So I guess this is a thread about bragging, such as how crushing your debt is, or how many people have threatened to carve your eyes out with a rusty fork, or how large your Tupperware collection is.

EndMaster: Typing swear words at some name in a chatroom doesn't count as a girlfriend

I only go on G-rated chat rooms because my parents beat me otherwise.

I pity the woman who fell in love with you. You have less brains than I have in my elbows.

You have some smart-ass elbows!

I refuse to look at you for you infect my eyes. Good day.

How can you look at me if you don't know what I look like?

The mere letters you smash out from your keyboard makes my eyes bleed. 

You know that I use the same letters as everyone else.

?? ? ???? ???????????? ?????? ?????.

 

?EDIT: this website doesn't understand russian, so *shrug*

See, this is the AYT I like, not the annoying cunt who wants weird nicknames, but the innocent, naive one who hears "I have a girlfriend" and thinks "A woman has fallen in love with you", it's adorable.

And how old are you? 14? 
Did you get one just for bragging rights, or because you honestly want to be with her? There's a bit of a difference there. Good luck. ^_^

But, you said this was a bragging thread, so here we go: 

I'm currently taking college level courses. I've composed 5 separate piano pieces. I have an average of 2-4 drawings a day be it digitally or traditionally. I've been commissioned, paid money, to do art for people - I'm actually just finishing one up today, which is going to be put in an actual Dungeons And Dragons book. I can make 3D models, understand how to make an actual rudimentary game, animate basic things. I've made a story here that I pulled out of my ass in half of a month and still is a high 4/8 despite that. My PSAT scores put me at the 95th percentile nationwide for reading/writing - meaning that 95% of the population scored the same as or below me. 54th percentile nationwide for math, but I didn't realize you were allowed to write in the book so I had done it all in my head, yet still scored just better than over half of the nation. 
By my last count, I had 81 active characters that I still mess around with and plan stories and backstories for, and dozens of retired ones that I'm not going to touch anymore. 
Despite being a nerd, I have a pretty healthy social life.
Also. I'm badass. I regularly wear a trenchcoat and a fedora. I love the pocketses. I normally have about 10-14 pockets.

Mind you, I'm a chick who still hasn't even graduated highschool yet and is struggling to keep her GPA above a 2.5 because depression is a bitch.

Feeling an urge to edit lock this so here goes.

This one is probably heading for deletion soon anyway.

I feel so honored that you would spare some of your time on us mere mortals, considering you have so many better things to do.

I asked Axiom if this was her in highschool and after the expected reaction she said she might post something here to shame everyone.

I got a girlfriend because I honestly want to be with her, since she's a nice person, smart, and cute.

Bragging rights are a side effect.

Your hand doesn't count.

You're gross and pathetic and your girlfriend's probably a slag, ugly and/or nonexistent.

Anyway I guess this is a thread for bragging

I can breathe

No, this is now a thread for insulting Wizzy cat now. Go on, give it a go.

Wizzy, your deep down unhappiness is your own fault, because you've failed as a person. The depression that runs through your life is entirely your own fault, and you're too incapable to fix it, you pathetic fuck.

Why should I fix my depression?

Plenty people all over the world have a girl/boyfriend or a wife/husband. You're not special and nobody will miss you when you die. Go play outside, kid. :)

I obtained a degree in mathematics in under a year. During my first semester in a mechanical engineering program I've created an aerospike nozzle rocket engine that uses 40% less mass and used ANSYS CFD function to determine optimal fuel efficiency.

I've programmed an adaptable multi-layer recursive neural net AI bot.

I have a girlfriend that might actually love me.

a great many people have threatened to carve my eyes and testicles out with a rusty fork.

ps im going to uni for free without having to pay for literally anything and I'm jobless which kind of sucks but I have no costs so it doesn't matter much

please delete the thread soon

Well now I'm probably going to leave this thread up forever.

"Might"...

<3

Oh, so we're supposed to brag about something here?  Hmm, okay.

When I was in high school, we won first prize for being the best marching band in a parade.  Perhaps my sterling trumpet-playing skills played a major part in the judges' decision.

However, honestly compels me to mention that we were the only marching band in that parade.

If people are actually gloating and not just insulting Wizzy, I'd like to remind everyone once again that I'm legitimately pretty much the ideal human beings that exists. I'm not some depressed saddo constantly whining about life, or cutting, or constantly trying to change themselves because they don't like who they are. Instead, I'm pretty much only capable of feeling joy and anger, and since I really enjoy being angry, I've achieved the ultimate goals of a hedonistic life and anyone who uses happiness as an indicator should realize the world should just be billions of me, constantly fighting or banging or whatever.

My lifestyle and lack of a will to reproduce also means I won't burden the planet by growing old and draining resources or increasing the population to such a point this planet gets raped to death by my descendants draining the last drops of oil from it. So environmentally, I'm again an absolute delight.

Also, pretty sure I'm smarter than almost every single one of you, probably comparatively more skilled in the fields I've, I don't believe any of the drivel most of you concern your lives with like religion, exceptionalism, puritanical bullshit or the fucked up notion that Logan was in any way a good film, I have great taste and I have the prettiest eyelashes out of all of you. Also, I'm capable of finding cute snake pictures, and that gets me bragging rights.

You can't be ideal if you have typos in your writing, on a writing site.

"pretty much the ideal human beings that exists" You wrote being in plural.

I said "pretty much", dumbass. You said that yourself in the quote, you absolute fucking spastic.

Oh yeah I didn't see that. I'm pretty much the most ideal human being, except for the fact that I am a lazy as hell and worry too much over tiny details, and I'm addicted to sugar and I'm also lazy as hell and I sometimes repeat myself.

Already, being lazy means you're far from the ideal human being. You're also stupid and unhappy.

I said pretty much. Also, how am I stupid or unhappy?

I'm perfectly content with everything I have, my grades are exceptional, I study math 2 grade levels above me, and I have written an 83000 word novel, which I am currently editting.

Stupid? I don't know how this one's even in question. You're not intelligent. Your opinions are almost certainly mostly wrong and ridiculous. 

The happiness one is also pretty simple. Happy people don't make posts just to gloat about having girlfriends, they're usually content enough not to have to waive it around.

Opinions are opinions for a reason. They're technically all correct. Freedom of speech! You wanna throw Jews into ovens, sure, as long as no one gets hurt! Also, something being ridiculous doesn't make it stupid, although I'd say that my opinions are not very ridiculous anyways.

Um... no. No, that's not how it works. It could be my opinion that the world is flat. That's not correct. This is why you're an idiot. I like that my explanation about why your life was shit wasn't disputed, though.

Well, can you prove the world isn't flat?

Also, your argument about why my life is shit wasn't disputed because I don't really have a comeback to that. I mean, it makes sense, so kinda hard to dispute.

@Endmaster

Can you please delete this thread, I feel kinda dumb now...

Yeah. I've sailed over the horizon.

There are a multitude of ways you can prove the earth isn't flat. That statement in and of itself is horrendously stupid.

He can't. No one can. I wrote an educational game about this and everything.

Also, End was planning to delete this thread, and now that you're begging him to I'm pretty sure he won't. Excellent. I want it to remain here as a monument to all of you being obnoxious fucktards.

At least he got an "achievement" out of all this. Lol.

-100 Points

+100 Gamerscore.

You constantly talk about how great you are and how awesome your life is. Sure, you never talk about a girlfriend, but it's similar. Does that make you less happy, too?

I'm confused about your phrasing, are you saying that my girlfriend is making me less happy? If so, hell no. Also, I don't constantly talk about how great my life is, I've just talked about it in this thread since it ironically turned into an insult-fest.

Mayana was replying to steve.

I'm confused, too. Are you replying to my post? If so, I was actually replying to Steve, though it's possible I pressed enter on the wrong reply link.

Oh sorry.

Yeah, but that's because I'm a vain braggart in a constant attempt to shit talk everyone, even subconsiously. If a normal person feels the need to start talking about how fine and happy they are, they're not.

Ah, delightful. The seven year old furry has resorted to petty playground insults to get across the point that he’s attention starved and bitter over not creating anything worth notice. 

You can shut up, your insults are lame. Steve is good at arguing, and there's no way in which you can help him prove a point.

I wish you only happiness with your new girlfriend, Wizzy. 

That's an interestingly formatted insult.

I've been coming up with it for quite some time now, so thank you. 

@WizzyCat I dare you to show this thread to your girlfriend.

XD

Ummm, sure. I'll try.

I actually saw your girlfriend walking down the street.  It gave me permanent erectile dysfunction.  

What a lazy insult.

Tell that to my now permanently lazy dick.

Sure.

Have your girlfriend post in this thread or she doesn't exist.

I'm not gonna show this to her, mostly because I now feel like an idiot since I made a post bragging to a bunch of bigots on the internet about how I have a girlfriend.

How is anyone being a bigot? Aren't you a dude?  Dude...and....girl.  Where's there room for bigotry?

You could be against the idea of straight people marrying, obviously.

True, but generally gay people and such are the ones facing against bigots.

Yeah sure, but there's room for bigotry still. There's pretty much always room for biggotry.

Oh yes, I agree, I was just saying.

"I made a post bragging to a bunch of bigots on the internet about how I have a girlfriend." - WizzyCat

"I forgot to mention that I hate liberals, and think that there are only two genders. Also, I think transgenders are people with a mental disorder, and I feel bad for them, and hope that a cure is invented sooner or later, because if you're born with a dick, you're a guy, no way around that. And while I would say that gay people and lesbians are unnatural, I have nothing against them since they solve the overpopulation issue (Also I think one of my close friends is gay)." - WizzyCat

I never said that I wasn't a bigot! :D

Lol.

Well at least you're honest. Have another achievement.

Can you bring me down to -1 points? I wanna show my friend this.

We both know you don't have a friend, lad.

Not on here, I don't.

I think I efficiently turned everyone on here into an enemy, wouldn't you say?

I'd like to conduct a social experiment now.

No, I mean, you have no friends, you're unlikable, and you're utterly alone in life. You deserve the unhappiness that crushes you every single day.

Hate to break it to you, but there are probably very few on here who actually consider you to be their enemy. That requires a certain level of giving a darn.

Show your girlfriend this and have her post and you'll actually get all your points back.

Of course you're going to have to make us believe its really her.

I honestly want to be at -1 points.

If only his waifu pillow could type 

I find the entire concept of body pillows disgusting.

Sure you do.

I don't masturbate either.

Well that's a lie if I ever saw one.

I don't masturbate either. I just get Wizzy's mom on it.

Eh, it's possible. Lots of people don't masturbate for various reasons. Some people think it's wrong, some (like me) find no pleasure in it. Some have just never tried because they think it's disgusting. It happens.

Unfortunately JJJ changed the points display, so the best you'll get is "0" to show up.

fucking lol
 

Weekends are usually so slow around the forum, but I have to say this one was great, in large part due to threads like this. CYS Classic indeed.

Oh and I guess there was Bucky's small contribution too. But this needs to stop, weekends are supposed to be where I get my word counts in. D:

Sorry.

Lol im a noob at this

Well, there goes the last, measly, dried-up bits of me giving a fuck. 

Who are you and what are you doing here? Can I see some identification?

i have literally no identification. i got here through the internet.

Don't be silly. The internet isn't real.

Sir, please return to your room before I have to call security.

This thread is amazing. :D

I've missed these gangrape sessions.

uhmmm.... I'm at a loss for words.

I kinda withdrew in on myself for about half a year, to various degrees at a time. I've kind of resolved some of my immaturity. Now I think I'm hot shit.

Edit: my situationally unaware ass damaged my tablet so it's kinda annoying to proofread.

Long ago I had so few important things to do, that I meticulously figured out how to go about winning forum games on this website. Like that Ant War thing we did, and Mafia Games....

I once wrote a passible story game overnight for a contest I had not known of prior because essentially everyone had failed to follow through on their contest entries and Endmaster had declared his certainty that no one else would manage an entry.

Pettiness powered my only - albeit lukewarm - achievement. 

 

So it’s been what a week into your relationship.

Have you turned full fledged cuck yet.

“Turned”.

He’s always been one.

I didn't just fall off of a turnip truck.

Elegant in its simplicity because I both insulted and sang my own praises in just a few words.