Forums » The Lounge » Read Thread

I'm bored and am in a ranting mood so why not post here? How do you make friends? Genuinely, I have no idea! You don't just walk up to someone and go, "wanna be friends?" It's a slow process right? But how slow are we talking? Are we talking weeks, months, YEARS??

I don't know but this has always been a question of mine. Okay, maybe I shouldn't make it so obvious I don't have friends, but you get the point. I never really considered myself an introvert but honestly at this point I know I'm not exactly extroverted lol. I don't know, making connections with people was never my strong suit and it continues to not be. 

So how do you do it? I'm all out of ideas and I need help lol. Also, how does friendship come easy to some people? There's people out there that can meet a total stranger and within a month they're like family to each other. It's all frustrating and rather annoying to be this bad at forming connections lol.

Anyways, this was just a rant to get this off my chest lol

Yikes, I just realized I wrote "lol" a lot in this post

That was actually pretty funny lol

What our friend End here is trying to say is that a good way of making friends is through joining community based social groups like the boy scouts. There you will learn many useful skills, including how to tie up to ten different essential knots, including the Jack Ketch knot, as demonstrated by this nice gentleman. ^_^

That's a great idea, End can be so supportive sometimes lol

He's just a big, cuddly teddy bear. ^_^

Common interests are a big one, but depending on where you are with Covid-19 there might not be a lot of events for you to find people with said interest. Social networking sites can be helpful but not aways. Multiplayer video games and discord are ways to to find online friends as there's pretty much a discord server for every and any fandom or interest (Currently in one for Chainmail making.)

 Also just learning to insert yourself into social circles is a big one. Can't just expect people to be your friends right away. It takes time. Just being able to talk to strangers is the first and biggest step.

Nonsense! I personally prefer the fast track approach.

"Greetings stranger. Today's your lucky day. I have just decided that you are now my best friend... Can I borrow $20?"

I think part of the answer is to just go do what you find fun.  People who are having fun are going to attract others, in person, or online. 

I suspect looking like you really really want to make friends may turn off potentials.  Being content with yourself is probably an essential quality for attracting high-quality friends.

Also being rich, attractive, and powerful helps.

Watch them through the windows. Observe, analyze. Ask yourself: is this candidate worthy of friendship? Will I be initiating dialog only to hide the evidence later? Place yourself innocuously near them, edging closer over the course of many days. This helps you scrutinize and overhear everything they say. For example, if they're in the park, wear a ghillie suit and hang out in the bushes. After a few days or weeks, introduce yourself and immediately state all the things you have in common that you overheard, then express surprise when they say they like those things too.

Boom, friends.

Breaking into their houses while they're out is also a great idea, as you'll be able to find out what their hobbies and interests are. ^_^

Seriously though, a good place to start is joining some kind of community, like a book club or a drama group or whatever you happen to be into. Unfortunately, with covid, social stuff like that seems to have gone to shit, so social media is probably the way to go. Just talk about stuff you like with other people who like the same stuff. ^_^

Find a time consuming hobby, or try really talking to your clasmates / coworkers. 

Or just shitpost on an obscure writing forum 

Personally, I try not to. Through many painful years of experience, I've come to the conclusion that anyone that tries to be my friend is only wanting free labor or something. I don't mind helping someone out once in awhile when it's my choice, but I don't want to feel beholden to someone because they're a "friend".

A good and true friend once told me that at the end of your life, if you can fill up one hand when you count your friends, then you're truly lucky. So far, I've got four fingers left to go.

If you just want someone to hang around with, I'd suggest introducing yourself to people you see when out doing the things you enjoy doing. I wouldn't just up and greet them out of the blue, but more subtly after chatting a minute or two so you get a feel for whether you even want to know them or not.

If all else fails, you can always find a chatbot online and pretend it's your friend. There are loads of people out there doing just that. Or else spend a few bucks on whatever equipment you need and literally make yourself a friend. I'm sure there are plenty out there for sale if you're not a really creative person. And then there are imaginary friends, too. Those are probably the easiest and cheapest to make. Though, imaginary enemies are much more fun. Not as fun as real enemies nor quite so rewarding, but nothing in life is perfect.

If nothing else works, then just get a dog.

Hope this helps.

No offense, but that's grim as fuck. 

Hope you're doing well man

Is it? I guess I could've gone off on a friend vs. acquaintance tangent, but I thought I'd try to be helpful.

And not too awfully bad, thanks. ...other than the mind-numbing boredom of countless hours catching up on decades of TV shows and movies that I'd neglected over the decades.

other than the mind-numbing boredom of countless hours catching up on decades of TV shows and movies that I'd neglected over the decades.

Yeah, quarantine's boring. :(

Yes it is. Luckily, I have a dog that I can sic on almost anything. Lately, it's been imaginary squirrels and rabbits. He goes absolutely nuts at their very mention. One of these times, he's probably going to catch one and drop it in my lap to get even with me.

Oh, sorry. Forgot to add something to my post:
Hope you're doing well, too. 

You can't friend people, like on Instagram or Discord, but you certainly can play an active role in the community by rating storygames, doing duels, leaving comments, or sharing something in the forums!

Edit: Waaaaait a minute, they're talking about irl friends, aren't they. >.>

Well here's a good example of doing it wrong.

Plus there's the loot! Just think of all that oil, just ripe for the picking! ^_^

I got a different random question... Yey! I'm special! ^_^

With some paper and colored pencils of course!

So much cute! <3

... Going to the cinema can be nice? ^_^

Eating is also nice. ^_^

The funny thing is I probably would have just scrolled by over something like this but I noticed "LOL RAEP" and that caught my attention.
 

(So basically you walked down a dark alley wearing skimpy clothing.)

Also how to spell "tough"

I think my neck grew some hairs while I read this. 

8. Must be an atheist. (I can't be friends with someone who's gullible enough to believe in a magical sky God.)

9. Must be a Rick and Morty fan. (Only a true intellectual appreciates the pure genius that is a human being transforming into a pickle.)

10. Must recognize females as a lesser species who's only purpose is to satisfy and provide for her male counterpart.

Please message me to apply for the coveted position of acquaintance, and we'll see where it goes from there.

(Tendencies towards white supremacy are a plus.)

You can make friends fast or slow. What matters is how many experiences you share.

Most people remember "fiends from school". School is in itself a disruptive experience that you share with your classmates and happens during a phase of life when many things are still new and you do many things for the first time. But some people get unlucky and end up in a class of people they don't want to be friend with. That's ok, better no friends than bad friends.

Another great opportunity is when you start university. Again everything is new and you are together with a group of people who share your interests and are in exactly the same situation. So "friends from university" is a thing.

Starting a new job is not quite a good opportunity as starting university. For you everything is new but for your colleagues is the same old. So you many new experiences but they aren't really shared with your colleagues. What may happen is that you get trolled a lot by older colleagues, and the best is to see this as a misguided attempt to create shared experiences. The grinding culture that abounds in tech firms is self-destructive in the long run but also a way to make friends. Working day-and-night together to get a project over the finish line is a great shared experience.

Some people go out drinking to make friends. After all, crashing completely is a shared experience, though rarely a pleasant one, and a great route to addiction.

In adult life we have too few new experiences unless we actually go out of our comfort zone. Everything that provides shared experiences will do. Join the red cross take a language course, go to a demonstration, or play a team-based game such as ingress.