Player Comments on Gay and Depressed

The first of many. When I first saw this title I laughed. As far as being humorous, the main thing about it I find amusing is how bad it is.

The plot was pretty much all over the place with you following some girl you have a crush on and never have a happy ending with. The endings are either your girlfriend kills you, a criminal kills you, or you kill yourself with most of the deaths usually occurring via a Rube Goldberg mechanism of demise.

There is a lack of description and dialogue as well as a noticeable lack of coherency to the narrative which leads me to conclude this story was written without any serious thought put into it.

This story’s defining attribute is the unintentional hilarity through poor writing and serving as an amusing reminder of what a low quality storygame looks like and how to avoid a similar fate.

Other than that it wasn’t the worst thing I’ve read and it managed to get a few unintended laughs

"You guys see the mugger come back and he shoots you"

So far the mugger is my favorite villain in a CYS story,the way the page just wraps up how he came back and murdered us.

So beautiful.

This story could have been longer, it feels like you make 2-3 choices before committing suicide, making someone get hit by a bus, or getting offed by the worlds best villain.

I think you could have gone into more detail here, why is our hero depressed? A major life event, several? Is he depressed just because he is gay? If so, does that really make much sense?

Does the hero have any other reason for living other than having someone to get killed with?

There's a lot of details that could have been worked in pre-depression and during/post depression. Any way, story was alright.

Well this was interesting, I'll give it that. A few random things to point out.

1. You do realize that on page one, there are three options that all say the same thing but lead to different pages... What is the point in that?

2. You forgot to sign your permission slip? I kind of thought the whole point of permission slips was that somebody else is supposed to sign them.

3. You try to tell your crush you like her, but end up accidentally screaming in her face? ... Whoops. Yeah, that's going to set off a few red flags, try not to do that to do that in the future.

4. The girl you had a crush on doesn't like you back, and so your only option is to kill yourself? Oh the unspeakable pain of first world problems. I really don't understand how anybody makes it past the age of 20 in this cruel, cruel world.

5. The game doesn't really make it clear that the character you're playing is a girl, (except for that one scene where your girlfriend punches you in the boob. That was random.)

Other than that, it was definitely a fun read. Kind of puts me in mind of the Harry Potter fanfic My Immortal. If you plan to do a follow up game, try making the main character a satanist, and have her breakdown crying, asking "Why did Satan make me so beautiful?" ^_^

i tougth it was a gay game , but is a lesvian game :(

Top 10 Anime Arcs of All Time

Is this finished? Its kinda random and would need more work on it. But, good job!

A weird story. Nothing that happens makes sense and is completely random.

I just want to say that I will never allow this garbage to be unpublished. I love it too dearly

This story makes me feel significantly better about my own writing.

why does everything happen to MC???

Best choose your adventure on the site. (Needs more Josiah Smith though to be perfect)

masterpiece. i cried reading this

hey :(

this was sure strange

The title was spot-on.

Every month, I have to come here and read this to trim away my brain cells. Thank you so much for this masterpiece.

I love that the rope was already there for me lol

people should read this...as a torture mechanism. Might be a bit too far bc there's nothing inherently "horrible". It just sucks. The choices all end in death. Except for one where you decide your wife needing privacy means she's cheating. Just...sucky in general. At least the options give you different deaths. Only good thing.

Well, okay then.

IT SUCK LIKE MY BALLS

Wow. This story was not very good so I am glad it was short. As a concept it had potential, but none of that potential was realized.

The writing here was bad. Grammar, structure, and dialogue were all a mess. This story is a great example of how valuable proofreading and editing can be.

The story itself was not very good and also incomplete. For example, when you order a new pizza from dominoes, the last sentence is: "You walk up the stairs and into the bathroom, and as you’re reaching in the cabinet you see a burglar through the mirror." And then you get End Game. If the story was better I might actually care what happened next.

While the story did provide choices that led to different paths, there wasn't enough on each path to really get me into the story. This story had branching, but it felt all over the place. Weirdly for a CYA, I think some linearity in the characters and how they progress in the story might have been better.

Characterization is weak. I felt no connection to the main character. Why are you depressed? Perhaps exploring this question might provide more emotional connection.

Overall, not really a good storygame, but a great example of the power of editing and revision prior to publication.

Why are there 3 options that say the same thing on the first page, yet lead to different outcomes?
The fact you're playing as a girl should be a bit more obvious than finding the one exact path where your girlfriend...punches you in the boob. Or I guess looking at the tags but what kinda faggot does that anyway?
Why does one of the paths (where you get cucked by your brother and then order Domino's) just randomly end with a burglar you see THROUGH (again, through) the mirror? If the story had anything good about it, I could see this end as being left to interpretation whether your character got raped and murdered, or fought the burglar off. Sadly, I don't think that was the intention.
The mugger randomly coming back and shooting you is top tier.

I laughed the entire time at how everything about this story is just so god damn awful. Honestly I think it gave me the best ratio of time spent reading to laughing on the site. Reminded me of my immortal.

A masterpiece overall. Endmaster should read and weep.

Um kinda disappointed lol

Honestly, I was recommended this story. It was to be used as an example of how NOT to do a story game. However, I actually enjoyed this story LOL I love the randomness and complete disregard for sensibility. This story seems to be personal. The entire game seems to be taken as a joke but I'd much rather read this than do homework. I still wouldn't recommend this to others though. It's definitely NOT worth every penny. 4/8.

I loved this. Coming from a trans lesbian, that's amazing. I wish it was longer, and had more depth.

Sean thought this was a 2 and Braden thought this was a 7. We averaged it out. Thanks. Love you! Jack

Ah, I never thought that the title was more fun to play than the story itself. Now I know.

The fu-

Hi everyone, this is Jack (Keely's date (she left the last review)). After enjoying the last path so much we decided to play again but I think this path is only good for me to poop on (see rating). It's a lot of victim blaming and also insensitive. Wyatt never got to tell his side of the story either. Anyway that's all I have to say. Love, Jack :)

I'm very gay and depressed and it was like looking in a mirror (a gay and depressed mirror). Love it! I wish I could give the author $50. xoxo Keely

I definitely don't think this deserves the worst rating on the site, I've seen worse games. The writing seems a bit bland, and some parts were kind of confusing, but other than that, it was alright!

Pretty decent grammar. I took this story as lolrandom with blunt humor, which works because of its brevity, and even the passages that make it clear it's supposed to be serious are fleeting enough that I can keep this illusion while I read. As a result, it actually wasn't that bad. Heck, I was even entertained.

But I know the story is supposed to be serious and isn't tagged as humor, so all the other comments are worth paying attention to. Not that you've been online since publishing this story.

This doesn't do very good describing depression..

Crap. 2 for effort.

Bumping up my rating to help this struggling story, which by tradition we keep around purely because the title is funny.

My girlfriend got smashed by a bus and then my dog ran up and ate her chunky giblets, and it was just as good as the first time.

hahaha i now see a burguler in the mirrior

well i'm not sure if this is really how it is, but i feel just a lil gayer after my first play-thru

It can use some editing and perhaps more interesting events. I can't be the only one who is distracted by the giant "SCENE #" that takes up almost as much space as the text.

Summary of this story: "You get up and run after her. She sees you approaching her and gets scared. She punches you in the boob, it starts to inflate. You slowly fly into the distance and she just screams. Never get breast implants, or maybe you’ll fly away. You fly and fly for hours, and then your boob pops. Welp, You're dead."

Oh my gosh! So unexpected and gross. That was great! Please add more to the story! PS: Using paragraphs would make the story easier to follow.

OMG why so dark?!?!?!?!?!?

a tiny bit fun

bad !

It was alright. I liked some of the endings

Okay, I tried this again, and a dog ate my girlfriend's intestines. A much better story now.

4/8. Funny but short. Also, if you are female then you would be lesbian, not gay.

Clicked once and the game decided the character committed suicide, with no input from me. Wow, that sure was interactive.

My first instinct was to give this a one, but by special request I'm giving it a three. Somebody thinks the title is funny and wants it to stick around.

Still spookier than The One In The Mirror.

My story experience was too short !!

I give you kudos on your creative endings and seeming lack of spelling errors. There's not much in the way of plot or character development though. Seems like a good start to a bigger story.

The title alone makes this one a lot more amusing than the recent crop of craptacular stories.

Should I leave a constructive comment or just kind of move on?
I mean, one of the endings were so absurd, I can't even...
At least this was er...free of spelling mistakes and it was at least a 4/8 in length? Though, the font was kind of big, and....um...yeah.
That's er...all I really can say about this.

A MUST READ