Player Comments on A Day In The Life of A Slice of Bread

There are a couple of things to improve upon with this story:
-I'd say a storyline is important. Without a storyline, there really isn't much reason for the reader to keep being the reader, it's not like they're emotionally invested in the slice of bread.
-It needs to be longer: this feels a little rushed, like you just wanted to get a story out there, rather than putting in the fair amount of time it takes to make something well written. That being said, I think some of the humour could be good with a little polishing!
-Some of the choices weren't really indicative of what was going to happen. E.g: you can turn left and the game ends, or you can turn right and it continues. I might as well just guess if I don't know what's going to happen!

Either way, I think you could write something good with a bit more effort and a framework to start with!

Where do I start?

This storygame had a really bad plot... i'm sorry, but playing as a slice of living bread is a lot less entertaining then it sounded.

I played three times, and the endings I got were being turned into toast, getting soggy, and the "special" ending. I feel no accomplishment when I play this game and win.

It's way too short, and the choices were completely random. Such as "grow a face." The lolrandom humor just didn't appeal to me.

There was a line in the story that said, "Luckily gives you another chance."
I'm assuming you meant something like "Luckily, life gives you another chance." Unless there was a character named Luckily you never mentioned. Keep an eye out for errors like that.

I honestly expected more from a 4/8 lengh story. It was insanely short, with about a single paragraph a page. There was about zero detail, and it felt like it was written in ten minutes.

Overall, 2/8. Keep trying.

-I am sorry to say that due to you being such a pussy, you have flooded an entire planet with your tears. There are no survivors. Also, you're soggy.

Your a pretty funny dude, sleepy. You should definitely make more like this, but let me explain why.

1. I found no grammar errors in my first nor second playthrough, so grammar is fine, but I may be wrong.

2. Short and sweet, at least. Not all good stories must be long (just look at SNOW), and this one seems to be the right length for this type of story- short and humorous.

3. Yeah, and it's pretty funny too. Look at the beginning of the review- I am sorry to say that due to you being such a pussy, you have flooded an entire planet with your tears. There are no survivors. Also, you're soggy. That's pretty funny, I laughed at this.

I'm wrapping this up- I gave this story a 6/8 for this not being a bad story at all. I mean, it's nowhere near as bad as a lot (and I mean a LOT) of other stories on here. So go you, sleepy.

i dont like that you cant redo without closing the tab :(

Hi Good Game 👍

good

girl what is this

This is fun!

Please correct the spelling of 'bare' (naked) to 'bear' (to cope with a difficult situation)!

Well... not my favorite story, definitely, but it made me laugh (once).

Hilarious! Me and my kids love this, definitely playing it again! My sense of humor, as dry as the toast lol

5

f

chicken nuggets instead of bread next time

It was a nice experience.

Pretty good story

good lol alex is dating bread

me love bread -bread

don't kill bread - bread also 2023

bread is bread don't hurt bread -bread 2023

bread good-bread

Wow. Just wow. This gave me a truly new view of life. But is kinda boring.

Very nice, loved the twists and turns of the bread.

bread is entertaining

You can't have this in a category called "Family Friendly" with some of the language in here. I was really enjoying the story up until the part where the bread cries and cries. I had to suddenly turn the laptop away from my daughter before she saw that word you felt the need to drop in there. Boo.

Nice

It tells you that life does not always give you good stuff.

this story really changed my perspective on the gluten/carbs triangle on the food pyramid. The way he became in touch with his inner emotions and realized that he was never going to see his family again was an exceptional moment of vulnerability. The way that he had to decide his own fate shows the theme of coming of age story, how you have to survive on your own without having the aid of your family/parents; also shows the theme of independence because you have to live and survive on your own and depend on yourself or you are not going to survive.

I was bread.

this is the weirdest yet it is super fun to see what will happen if you choose something different.

Because it was a little funner.

this was hilarious

You are the most creative and artistic person to ever lived. I laughed, I cried, and I bled. This is the only piece of literature that ever needs to exist. You are the Shakespeare of the modern age. Thank.

short and funny. The writing was pretty decent.

Its indeed very gooood i did
Liken this

This was like poo

Weird book

Your copying another game :/

Like what the hel man, what were you thinking? surely being a baguette is better than a slice of bread?? get some reality in your stories man!!! GANG GANG!!!

love it! :3

This book is really really funny and it'll make you laugh to the morning milk you drunk but it is super funny and good I'm pretty sure anybody any age should read this story

I got the black hole ending!

yay!!!!!!!! secret ending

so good hilarious too!!!

it was super funny, and very good.

Yes

I Have Accended

That word was uncalled for my g.

shoudnt say the p word my children read this. very unhappy :(

I flooded the whole planet hahahahahaha why did you make this?

This story is a masterpiece. If everyone played it, we would have instant world peace. We'd create one harmonious society that consists of just one law: No bread abuse or consumption allowed. We would bake bread loaves and worship them in our bread shrines. This is the ultimate utopia.

It was good lighthearted fun. It would be even more fun if it was longer

There really isn't much to comment on.
I went through all the paths, and each page has very little content, no description of the surroundings, and no personality for the main character.
If this wasn't serious then I'd understand, but you SPECIFICALLY made your point in the description that this was serious.
Sorry, but I'm rating this a 2/8.

WTF was this it is so DUMB

i got to be a piece of bread :D i’m a little emotionally scared by that storyline tho

Tooo short!

Kinda short. Oof.

This game is amazing, truly life-changing.

This story is the sort of goofy trip that comes from literate preteens, or someone that's experienced acid.

It's something to come back to when you want to try another branch and read something silly.

Very funny, I am also a new creator and i realize how important good comments are. the only advice I would like to give is: add a try again link. Once again, very funny story, keep creating!

well it's cool. yup, kinda cool.

This story was simply just... bland. It felt rushed, and some options did not even leave you with a choice. I enjoyed the humor, but it was not a good experience, because of how it ended so suddenly and limited your options. Also, I went back over and over again, choosing different paths while I was at the famous "Swanky Hot Dog Cart", and they still all ended the same. Very little thought was put into this.

BREAD

No shame at all, but this actually sucked. I usually like these short little random humorous stories, but this one wasn’t good enough not even close. Most short random games have something about, and a fowl problem is just absurd, the apprentice king is totally random.
But this piece of absolutely dog crap is none of those this story Isn’t even funny like what the heck? If your going to put a game in the humor section, at least make it entertaining. And let me tell you writing in ALL CAPS, and ellllllllllooooooonnnnnnnggggggaaaaatttttiiiiiiiinnnnnnggggg words do NOT I repeat NOT make it funny. This game is trash I recommend you stay far far away from it because I know some sniveling little 6th grader wrote this thinking it was the funniest thing in the world when in all honestly this story makes me want to barf my fricking guts out.
Your Immature and Stupid SO PLEASE FOR THE GOOOD OF EVERYBODY, break your computer and stop writing.

I clicked this because it reminded me of I Am Bread. The toast pun was my favourite part about this. The story called it the worst pun in existence but it made me crack up. The rest was ok but the part that stood out to me was the toast pun because it was really funny and that is why I rated this a 5.

this game is the worst its not even any fun wow am i sad

wasnt the actual game

CHAOS CHAOS VERY GREAT *insert jevil here*

I don't like that this is a version without animation. The original game was animated!

The game is pretty much just a boring copy of the real game. I’d id about 3 choices and I had already finished the game, there was no fun whatsoever in the game and it was like doing a basic buzzfeed quiz! I would recommend not to play this, unless you want to increase your boredom

Love it

Uhhhhhhhh hi. I think that this game is very good. It will teach you a lot about life as a bread. It will help you to make good decisions in your life as bread. Uhhhh that’s all thank you and bye.

this game is horrible

it is so fun to meet your fate!

To short I don’t want to get toasted ??????

this is copied off a game by somebody else on a different website, so give them some credit :/

WhAt AbOuT dAt sWaNkY hOt DoG cArK

I was toast

This game is great. It does have a few flaws though. The game seems somewhat rushed and the comedy isn't too good, but with some framework, you could be a great game developer! Good job, and I hope you continue doing this work.

Yay! I made the special ending and can give u deets on how to do it!

wow

What were you expecting? Some dragon to come swooping through the house, or maybe King James the ||| would just ride up into the kitchen on his horse to deliver you a quest something?

yes!!

You get to know her better and eventually ask her to go on a date, to which she replies yes.

Bread can go on dates!?! 9/10

P.S. make the storyline longer, that will give this 10/10

You consume your entire body and newly acquired face all in one big chomp. Unfortunately this entire break in physics somehow is able to create a black hole, eventually sucking up all of the universe. That includes your loaf. Are you happy with yourself? You were a piece of bread that was lucky enough to be given life by some unknown god, but instead of becoming famous or going on bread adventures, you cried about your loaf and then ate all of the universe.








I just want you to know that your loaf wouldn't want this.


Thanks Caption Obvious!!! P.S. WTF IS THAT ENDTNG

I am sorry to say that due to you being such a pussy, you have flooded an entire planet with your tears. There are no survivors.


Also, you're soggy.

WTF dude !!!

so amzing, except the part I get crushed by a bowling ball, other wise it was fun !!!!

This game was really fun and you are very talented for making up a game that no one has ever thought of but have wondered about

First of all, it was short, much shorter than I hoped it would be, which was a shame, because the humor of this short story was quite entertaining, so good job in the department!

Second of all, the pages were too short and while I know that the shortness of the pages was part of the general humor of the game, it was still slightly annoying.

Thirdly, grammar, well, there isn't much to say in regards to your grammar, it's ok, it's not stellar and that's that.

And finally, your humor, I can't explain it to myself, but despite it all, I found the game to be quite humorous, so good job in that regard.

Well, all in all, I'd say your game deserves a 4, and that's just for the humor itself!

"Eat myself out of existence because I am just so sad about my loaf.
You consume your entire body and newly acquired face all in one big chomp. Unfortunately this entire break in physics somehow is able to create a black hole, eventually sucking up all of the universe. That includes your loaf. Are you happy with yourself? You were a piece of bread that was lucky enough to be given life by some unknown god, but instead of becoming famous or going on bread adventures, you cried about your loaf and then ate all of the universe.
I just want you to know that your loaf wouldn't want this."

Not the best; certainly not the worst. ;D

...
Cool

This game has taught me the most important thing in life...




growing a face.

Hey! I'm back for more! I'm gonna add some reasons this is good.

1.The Humor

2. It's short, but pretty sweet

3. The Random Choices Make It Funny

Hi, sorry that my comment was so short last time. These are the reasons ADITLOASOB (short for the name) is enjoyable.
1. This short story is pretty funny, not too much tho.
2. Becoming a person in the body of a slice of bread
3. Being unrealistic

Hi! I really liked your story. You could've made it a bit longer, but it's still enjoyable. Make more things like this, but make them longer than this one. Okay, I'm done talking, so Bye!

fun game

i love it

Idk why everyone hates this. That was hilarious. Short sure but Hilarious nonetheless. Not every story has to be a drama

well it was fun and funny but i really wont play it again sorry id rather play roblox or watch youtube

sad

I love it

minecraft is awsome

reesees' cups(r) suck but this game is amazing though

It was funny. Sadly, my life ended too soon.

Amasarific
Amasing/terrific

i became a black hole
10/10

BEST GAME EVER

very swanky

This game is ok not too many options.. But yeah its fine

This was a really fun game. I found out about it because
A really good youtuber named DanTDM was playing
It so i wanted to try it...It's really fun...if you like to
Have a positive attitude and a creative mind ??

it is a rip off

I love this storygame lol

i love this game

I saw Dantdm play this and he had so much fun!!!!!!!! :)

It is oddly satisfying to be a slice of bread...

believe me i wanted to die you know from what? LAUGHTER LOL dude i got into a relationship with the woman (am i a female or guy) lol XD XD XD

Give me a giggle better than most other supposedly funny things

Funny also suck it cool kids I get a spouse and a Bull for a pet and I eat at a fancy restaurant. ??

Hilarious xD

I need to quit loafing around

Funny. But should have more choices.

Storyline is boring

OK game pretty short and mildly entertaining

I don't want to "hit it off" with Alexander! THE CHARMING DRUNK HAYMITCH IS MY MAN! DON'T JUDGE MEEEEE!!! Lol still awesome tho

t was really funny and interesting, it would be nice if it was longer though

I kinda enjoyed this. The humour wasn't too bland and honestly made me chuckle a couple times. I also liked the amount of choices you put into it. So it's a good start, and deserves an average rating of 4/8 for me. And that's not bad, it's an average storygame. Much better than the amount of crap that is on the site. And I'm guessing this is based off of "I am bread!".

Wow, what a beautiful work of art. Bread is so beautiful, I don't think I can ever eat a sandwich again.

MUWAHAHHAHAHAHAH!!! I ATE THE UNIVERSE!!!!

Best. Game. Evah.

WOW AMAZING

I cri everytime?

I drowned a whole planet with my tears. Also, I'm soggy. XD

Yay, I'm Mario now!

Amazing. I don't know how you did it, but a bread life was my life. Thank you.

Crushed by a bowling ball but I made a great friend.

LOLRANDOM humor is no humor at all.

I thought it was creative.

Who would accuse bread of not waking them up!

There's just something about these games that make zero sense. I don't know what it is, but I like it.

Were you playing 'I am bread' when you decided to make this?

This game made 0 sense

I got the SPECIAL ending. XD

Umm kinda sucked and if you were shooting for funny you failed pretty badly

I have so many points my 8/8 rating bumps this story up to a 5/8, even against many ratings under 4 xD I find that hilarious.

Again, well made story. Truly a masterpiece! Keep writing! can't wait for a sequel!

That was Goddamn beautiful.

The title a day in the life of a slice of bread written by someone called sleepy didn't seem like the most exciting story in the world :D I liked the humour though and the fairly original story. That said I have a terrible premonition of a whole slew of sequels like a day in the life of a rolling pin or even Sally the Suicidal Peanut does Manhattan :)

This was oddly kind of interesting. I like your usage of vocabulary...but I don't see why this story deserves a 5/8. I would like it more if you made it longer.

I rate this story a 3/8:Good job soldier XD
-Blazewhisker

Truly a masterpiece. I r8 8/8 m8

I am an AMAZING bread slice...who knew?

Based off of that game?

What....

It was alright, a little short an boring in my opinion but good for a first timer.

I like the creative point of view! You have captured the perspective well, and I think the emotional humor is a nice addition to portray the character, if you will. :3