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So, I have a tendency to go super long stretches on the site without reading a single game at all. It's a shame because there's some awesome stuff out there. I doubt I've even read half of EndMaster's games. (I know, I know, I am very ashamed.) :'(

I remember on my old Briar account, I once had that shiny tick symbol trophy for rating at least half the games... And now, over a year since I've made this account, I've gotten more points from winning RPS duels then I have from rating games. (Shame on me).

And so... I'm gonna get me that little tick trophy back! And what's more, I'm going to play every single game on the site! (Or far more likely, I'll keep this up for a week or so, get bored, and then not play another game for 5 months.) :p

Going to start with some of the shortest games on the site, since I can probably speed run them in a handful of days. First topic of exploration, are short games crap? (Since obviously shorter games tend to get much lower ratings, lets see if the length of the game actually has anything to do with the quality, or if people just tend to give low ratings for laziness.)

So, I've rated 10 games with a play length of 1, and these are the results I came up with:

1. Behemoth by somerandomperson

Conclusion: Not shit. As just a little experiment where the writer was learning how to use variables and stuff, this game was never intended to be any kind of masterpiece, but at least it was fun to play. I think typically that seems to be the case with shorter games. The better ones tend to be experiments from decent writers, practicing with variables and coding for when they make a longer game. Anyway, the use of coding in the game was decent, and it was pretty much just a back and forth between the player and the monster until one of them dies.

2. Color Your Own Adventure (webcomic) by Ama_ColorYOA

Conclusion: Not shit, but also not short. As indicated, the game is a webcomic, and of course, since it only uses images and no text, it’s considered a short story, despite there being quite a lot of text in the comic itself… Anyway, I love this game. I think the artist is really talented. Hope she expands on it eventually. ^_^

3. Dragon Ages by socialspider

Conclusion: … Yeah, kind of shit… I mean, not deletion worthy or anything, but still pretty pointless. The premise was super cute, playing as a baby dragon and all, but I think this game is the perfect example of a first time writer just being lazy. They come up with an idea for a story, start writing it, get bored after about five minutes and wrap the whole game up in ten or so pages. Pretty much sums up why people hate short stories.

4. How not to be eaten by a dragon by iamayeti

Conclusion: Second verse worse than the first. This game was… Incredibly, incredibly pointless. I mean, it’s not funny, it’s not cute, it’s not creative, it’s just… There. I mean, honestly, the only thing I can say in this game’s defense is that it’s too short to be considered a waste of time. Still, wouldn’t really consider it deletion worthy, because the game isn’t terribly written or obnoxiously annoying.

5. Life of a Wizard by dman2life

Conclusion: That was even worse than the last one. Just barely good enough to avoid deletion. Also mildly obnoxious. No fart jokes at least… And that really is the best I can say about it. >.<

6. Tane no Monogatari by eldursson

Conclusion: … Oh dear God, it’s a weeb. To be fair though, it was totally worth it just for some of the bad translations that google translate came up with. “The air is dry, and it hasn't rained for 100 years. The throat is very cute, because it is a seed.”

7. Under The Bridge by betaband

Conclusion: Not only was it shit, but it pissed me off by promising riddles and failing to deliver… But I'll let this one slide because it was mildly funny. :p

8. Blackbirds by Negative

Conclusion: Not shit, just creepy. :p

9. Bob's Psych Ward by chris_zelda and Miccy2000

Conclusion: … I’m particularly impressed with the shittiness of this game, considering it took two people to write it.

10. Candy Quest by cMitchell3

Conclusion: Not shit! Another example of a game where somebody plays around with variables and scripting, turning out something short but still enjoyable.

So, in summary, are short games shit? ... Usually. Generally, if a game has a play length of 1, it's because the author was lazy and got bored of writing it. (And if the game was so boring that even the author got bored, it's pretty safe to assume that the reader will also be bored.) That said, there are a few exceptions. Namely, games where the author is experimenting with items, variables and scripting for the first time, and games that aren't actually short, but the use of images or videos in place of words tricks the CYS algorithm into thinking it's short.

Briar Recommends:

I'd say definitely check out Color Your Own Adventure (webcomic) by Ama_ColorYOA (Or better yet, just check out the webcomic series linked on her profile, since it's got the second part of the webcomic on there.) It's a super cute art style with a really unique and interesting concept for a story. Would be nice if there was more of it, but to be fair, it does take a hell of a lot of work and effort to write a webcomic.

Well this explains a lot, I saw your comments popping up on all of those and I was wondering wtf you were doing.

We have so many actually good stories you know....

I am aware, but these are quicker. :p

Thanks for embarking on this epic quest. This was a fun read. Looking forward to the next installment.

Just put all the numbers together and, according to my calculations, there are only 1117 games on the site. That's a lot less than I thought... Only 1107 to go. ^_^

There's only 1117? Really? I swear I see new stories come out like every other days.

Just kicking back, watching the comments pop up, enjoying the slow descent into madness...

I didn't even know half these games existed tbh, but I can't believe Briar is chiding some poor kid for warning against cougars. They are a threat to the innocence of all young men.

Yeah, the enormous amount of shitty games of this site is brain numbing. I definitely haven't seen most of these before. I'm guessing that at some point recently, somebody changed the requirements for different game lengths, because there seems to be a hell of a lot more games with a play length of 1. (Also I'm pretty sure POF used to be an 8 instead of a 7... I mean the bloody game is like 100,000 words. How long does an 8 have to be?) :p

Over a million words (DMW) hehehe! ^v^

Well now POF feels kind of pathetic. >.<

Yeah, I do remember that any game with a play length between a 1 and a 4 used to feel like they were about the same length.

Still haven't finished all of the shitty 1/8 length games (There's so many of them!!!) So I'll throw in all the entries to Mizal's Noob Threshing contest.

The entries were:

The Cottage and the '73 Rallye by Unforgiven

Aenigma Academy by greenBean

The Jungle Book by ApprenticePortentous

Law of the Jungle by tmanaking (which has since been deleted)

When Johnny Comes Marching Home by Deer89

Following Orders by TheDeadKin

I Don't Need Air to Breathe by TheCanary

Paper Slingers by MicroPen

And Savior by OriginalClamurai

Also important to note, Dreamtruder by Mystic_Warrior was an entry, but Miz decided to take the game out of the running because the game was just leagues above the rest of the competition.

Being a judge in this contest was fun, but also very difficult due to the really high quality of a lot of the games. I'd say that: The Cottage and the '73 Rallye, The Jungle Book, When Johnny Comes Marching Home, I Don't Need Air to Breath and Savior are all really awesome, well written games and definitely worth checking out.

Briar Recommends:

If I've got to pick one from the bunch to recommend, then without a doubt it's Dreamtruder by Mystic_Warrior. There's a reason this game was taken out of the running, and that's 'cos, if it was left in, there would basically be no competition. The game is awesome. I'd go as far to say that it's feature worthy (if it wasn't in the Fantasy Adventure category, which is completely dominated by EndMaster.)

So, with those 9 out of the way:

Only 1098 to go! ^_^

Yeah, I was sorry tmanaking seems to have sworn off writing for awhile.

Micropen took things pretty badly too, I hear he got into his stepdad's Wild Turkey, then started wandering the neighborhood, drunk and naked, and fell into a ditch.

He needed five stitches, but then the doctor got into the Wild Turkey too and accidentally amputated his entire foot. Pretty rough night.

F :'(

What if Dreamtruder was reclassified to Modern Adventure? There are fantastic elements, but the setting is pretty modern with cellphones and offices and computers and all that. I'vd only had time to go through it once so far, but I enjoyed it a lot, and it was an interesting premise.

That or Sci-fi

Okay, so I'm back after losing internet for a few days, and I finally did it! I read every single fucking shitty 1/8 length game on this site! ... And holy fuck was there a lot of them! I had no idea what I was getting myself into! I mean, Fantasy and Sci-Fi were a breeze, but then I kept working my way through and the games just got shittier and shittier beyond belief and... Oh God, the quizzes! SO MANY FUCKING QUIZZES! :'(

But it's done. It's over. I survived. And rather than give a brief summary on all of them (because that would take fucking forever), I decided to just compile a list of all the 1/8 length games that are actually worth playing. Granted, some are better than others. There's a few with decent writing, a bit of well coded gameplay and some educational quizzes that were pretty decent, but these few are the only ones that I'd actually recommend that people play.  

Color Your Own Adventure (webcomic) by Ama_ColorYOA

Already talked about this one and really can’t express how much you guys should play it, both for the adorable artwork and the really interesting story (though I do strongly recommend playing the game on the webcomic site, since it’s a lot longer and has much more info than the one on CYS.

How To Play A Game by cysid

… What can I say, it does what it says on the tin. Obviously very outdated (I mean the website had a different name when this game was made), but worth playing for the humour. ^_^

Escape From School by Ogre

This poor little game doesn’t even have enough ratings to be ranked, so everybody go play it now! Though it is another case of a long game that tricked the CYS algorithm into thinking it was short… Because apparently CYS doesn’t take a word count if you change the colour of the background?

Twenty-Three by thatguy

Now this, I think is the perfect example of what a 1/8 length game should be… A game! No story, no plot, no dialogue, just a simple game put together with clever use of coding… And I’ve got to say, this one was particularly hard. I don’t think I actually ever figured out how to do it in the end (I just observed all the moves of my opponent and then shamelessly copied them.)

8 goals, 28 rolls by tsmpaul

Like Twenty-Three, only better. This game was super fun and I spent ages going back and forth trying to get the perfect score. ^_^

House of Horrors (A CYOA Movie) by march5th00

It’s definitely worth brushing the dust off your Internet Explorer browser to give this game a play through. It’s a shame that the game has pretty mediocre ratings (probably from lots of people who couldn’t get the videos working) but when you think of all the time and effort and teamwork that went into this project, I’d say it’s pretty impressive. I always appreciate when people make the effort to put together something unique and creative. Plus it’s just a whole lot of fun. ^_^

Locked Out (The Movie) 1, 2 and 3 by alexp

I definitely preferred House of Horrors, but these interactive videos are still worth playing through, if only to appreciate the effort that went into them. Plus the sense of humour in these games is super wholesome and adorable. ^_^

Trapped Inside the Tower of Hanoi by nmelssx

… I’m not going to lie, it took me forever before I actually understood how this game worked… But once I did, it was fun! Took me a couple of attempts to win, but it was worth it. Good coding. ^_^

Waiting for the (Trump) Train by WouldntItBeNice

It’s funny because America. ^_^

So… That’s pretty much it. All of the 1/8 length games that are actually worth playing... And now, with all those and the 9 contest entries done, that’s a grand total of 134/1117 games out of the way, with 983 left to go. Go me!

Also, there was one shitty game in-particular that stood out to me… Look!

Where's my Storygame Password? By Cupcakitty__13

… Fucking bitch stole my baby polar bear! >.<

Now the length 2 games?

Fuck no! I'm going to read something decent next. ^_^

Looks like you found an impressive number of good ones.

To be fair, half of them were long games that were just considered short because they used some other kind of medium besides text.

A little history: Waiting for the (Trump) Train was a parody of some tiny, artsy thing about riding a train and suicide. Might be one of those had to be there things....but then that also could be said of the election as well, lol.

The comments on the original were mostly encouraging with mild criticism of the length and linearity, but the author made a thread to complain about not getting her pussy eaten by every reader in turn. (Not to be confused with 'grabbed'.) Ended up having a mildly entertaining meltdown and leaving, FOREVER, and then Wibn wrote his version.

That's an interesting way to put it. 

Oh, okay... Well. I found it entertaining regardless. ^_^

Found the thread. The story still exists but unfortunately is out of sneak peek.

The author was not a fan of Trump Train and gave it a 1/8. :(

Whoops, you accidentally tripped and hit a certain option in the properties. 

 

 

.... whoops. 

For some reason admin powers don't extend to toggling sneak peek. But it seems author must have decided to publish it again, what amazing timing!

There were actually a lot of good reviews which imo deserve preservation more than the story itself.

Oh, what a fortunate coincidence. 

Thanks Miz! The game was pretty mediocre, but the thread was beautiful! ^_^

And now that I've played it, I can add it to my list of games I've played. Which brings my total to 135... But since the game was republished, it also brings the number of games on the site up to 1118, so that doesn't really make a difference. :p

Lol. I remember that. Writing it was one of the best... hour(ish?) I ever spent. Plus, Nyctophilia got pissy in a PM string telling me I'm being insensitive and should unpublish it. Good times.

Also, thanks Avery for randomly bringing this story back into the limelight (momentarily)!

Can we see the PMs? That sounds hilarious. Always knew Nycto was a fag.

From: Nyctophilia
To: WouldntItBeNice
Date: 11/21/2017 7:50:09 PM
Um..I really don't appreciate your storygame, because ItsSuchABeautifulDay is my friend and she's just trying to share her talent and feelings. I know you think it's funny, but it really isn't, because you guys have been kinda mean to her. She wanted constructive criticism, not just rude comments how how bad it is.

I just want you to unpublish that, because it's cruel.

From: WouldntItBeNice
To: Nyctophilia
Date: 11/21/2017 9:28:01 PM
I appreciate that you are sticking up for your friend.

However, I have honor system in which I refrain from being an arse to people. ISABD did not make the cut. In all honesty, I gave her storygame a 5. If that was all she did, I'd think that she's a nice person and a good writer. I still regard the latter as true.

When she posted in the parlor room (and still posted), she descended into the realm of "about anything goes". She was belligerently arguing with site members without a good reason.

Also, my storygame is not criticism. It is a storygame. I never once said her storygame is bad. Her actions could use some improving though in my opinion.

To use the ad hominem logical fallacy, you sent me this PM reprimanding me for not using constructive criticism. Then, you left a "rude comment [on] how bad it is" that was "kinda mean" on my own storygame 3 minutes and 39 seconds later. I find that to be hypocritical.


It just goes on like that for a while. The only other interesting thing he said was that parodies are all bad. Too bad I wasn't using more colorful language at the time. Missed a good opportunity to call someone acting faggy a faggot.

This conversation makes me happy. ^_^

I'm sorry Avery I will make a proper riddle game when i finish my current project. 

In that case, I forgive you! ^_^

Oh yeah, I was reading things, wan't I? Well, I'm back and this time I thought I'd try something a little different... Old vs New! I'm going to read all the top rated games of 2001, then read all the top rated games of 2020, and compare and contrast! ^_^

First I'll post my thoughts on the old games:

10: Twenty-Three by that guy

Already mentioned this in my list of one length games. Short, fun game. Tricky puzzle.

9: Adventures With Raven by webadept

An interesting game for people who enjoy mythology from different cultures. I know my fair share of Greek, Egyptian and Norse mythology, but this game is based on Inuit mythology, which I previously had no knowledge on, so learning about it was fun. Quite a few mistakes and links to parts of the game that shouldn’t even be there, but other than that I enjoyed it.

8: The Quest for Pegasus by Missy-ga

Kind of similar to the last game. Liked the mythology. Not so keen on the linearity.

6: Jurassic Fairview Park by chocobot

Now this game is just the first in a long trend of 2001 games where you solve “puzzles” by collecting a bunch of useless crap and using it everywhere you go in the hopes that eventually something will work. Probably enjoyed this one the most out of the bunch because it had dinosaurs.

5: How To Play A Game by cysid

Already talked about this game. Opinion still the same.

4: Finals Week! by march5th00

Now this one I quite enjoyed. Multiple different endings and it was pretty fun replaying the game to find them. (Personally I preferred getting straight Fs to getting straight As.)

3 and 7: Fairview Highschool Game and Fairview Highschool Game 2 by fairviewcult

Going to lump these two together since they’d both part of the same series and both very similar games… Yeah, they’re both in the random “puzzle” game club. In short, wasn’t really a fan.

2: Magus: Betrayal by Karacan

In terms of story, definitely the best of the bunch. A fun fantasy story and very enjoyable start to the series. Unfortunately, the author never bothered to finish the series, which of course ruins the whole thing. Authors who write a promising first installment of a series, then never bother to finish it are all terrible people and should be shot.

1: The Wal*Mart Game! by thatguy

And here it is, ladies and gentlemen! The crowned king of the “wonder around aimlessly collecting a bunch of random crap that has absolutely no use until you eventually find the one item that you’ll use to solve 50% of the puzzles” games… At least this one came with a walkthrough… I’m sorry, but I’m just not a fan of these games! Puzzles should have a rhyme and reason to them! Games shouldn’t have so many pointless items that have literally no fucking use whatsoever! And you shouldn’t have to use that bloody go-kart to solve half the bloody puzzles! I have more stuff! Let me use something else! >.<

... So, that's my basic views on the top ten games from all the way back in 2001. Honestly, really wasn't impressed. To be fair, I guess the site had a really small audience back then so the pool of content was considerably more limited. But yeah, trudging along through all those random puzzle games was a massive chore and I ended up just resorting to walkthroughs because I'm a pussy. Hopefully the new games will have something more to offer.

Briar Recommends:

Looking back, I think that Finals Week! was probably my favourite of the bunch, and even that I wouldn't really consider a must read. Still, play if you're bored. It was fun. ^_^

Fun fact, Walmart Game was by one of Alex's alts.

Oh... Uhh... I mean... Walmart Game is the best fucking game in all creation EVER!!! >.>

I know right??? I agree!!!!

But yeah, puzzles and items and more game-like games definitely were expected to have a bigger role when the site was founded, probably a holdover from the early text adventures. There's definitely a lot of potential built in that doesn't really get used now that we've moved on to more plot driven things (I think in large part due to the popularity of Endmaster's stuff), so I'm hoping the addition of the Puzzles category will be more than JUST a quarantine zone, surely there's a way to combine our heightened writing standards with more game like elements.

It's an easy idea for a future comp anyway.

Damn all that effort to get in there and set off a bomb with an "unpopular opinion", and then you puss out and give it a 6/8? Lol.

Well it wasn't actually a bad game, just kind of a chore to play. :p

I started to read all the top games from each year, but when I hit Jurassic Fairview Park I put the project on the backburner. Really cool that you posted about it. Finals Week! was probably my favorite out of the bunch as well.

What year did Madglee publish Mommy? I see it's gone...

He unpublished it for some reason. Or rather a strange reason of mentioning it had stood long enough.

He did that before and only brought it back since so many wanted it still posted.

He made some kind of improved version that I never got around to reading. I guess that's on me for dragging my feet.

Shhhhh.

On second thought, I have seen nothing.