Player Comments on The Path of Death

Its quite time I reviewed the first CYS Game I ever played. This game holds a special place in my heart, and it frankly should have been my first review.

<<<Spoilers below. Please don't just take my word and play this masterpiece for yourself. You won't regret it; I can guarantee that.>>>

This review will be all over the place due to my sheer joy and affection towards this game. Where do I even start?

This is Steve's best game. He will probably never top this. This is one of the stories with everything inside: hilarious moments, relatable characters, realistic dialogue, badass scenes, and a lovingly-crafted fantasy world to absolutely lose yourself into.

Taking cues from the best campaigns of Wizards of The Coast's Dungeons & Dragons 5th Edition, Steve tells a heartwarming, surprisingly wholesome yet brutal, unforgiving story set against the backdrop of awesome creatures, fiery, treasure-hoarding dragons and loads and loads of categorical, powerful magic. Blaise is endlessly endearing, innocuous, and sweet, with just the right amount of teenage girl instability and awkwardness sprinkled in. She is a perfectly executed romantic partner for the barbaric, ruthless, warrior-raised Dagden Dragontooth, who has severe troubles understanding social cues, rules, or socializing whatsoever. They meld together so well and enhance each other's strengths while covering their weaknesses. As Dagden, I felt as if I would not have a chance at a proper life were it not for the girl, whereas for Blaise, I felt as if I definitely played a part in helping her embrace her destiny as the sole heir to an unbelievable, expansive empire of immense and frightening longevity and staying power.

The other characters left just as big marks, though. The sarcastic, overly-aggressive magic instructor made me chuckle with every uttered line, and Sir Trent was a frightening, welcome companion. Hell, even talking to the dragon or the mages before I beheaded them was never boring or shallow. Not once. The downright skill and outstanding effort all on display here is absolutely amazing.

However, it was Blaise's father who was actually my favorite. Steve writes an all-powerful villain who cheats death and slaughters innocents by the tens of hundreds who also is indirectly responsible for the murder of your family and tribe, but, even after roleplaying contempt at first, I was eventually sucked right in to his story and characterization. The man is vastly intelligent and wise, and really does care for his daughter greatly, a trait exceedingly rare among tyrants and figures of power of any kind. He seeks to rule the world, yet with all his essence is merely such a respectable and surprisingly honest man. He seeks what no mortal should have, endless power to rival a god and a way to exist beyond death itself, yet is remarkably and undeniably still so human. I was nothing short of touched by this character and how well you wrote him. A masterful and classy execution of writ and prose that I dare say exceeds even some of EndMaster's best works. Not a surprise, as he himself commended this story.

Well, now I see why.

There isn't a single critique I have. I noticed not a single error in my most recent playthrough (not saying there isn't any), the romantic interactions never felt awkward or drawn out, the action scenes made me feel badass and satisfied while not letting me be flat out OP, I absolutely loved and adored each and every character, every joke landed for me, the world is a fantasy lover's paradise, and you told a challenging premise with as close to perfect execution as I believe anyone can honestly get. The literal only possible thing, for me, is the slight linearity. But is that so bad if the story being told is this downright good? A question to consider.

Is the story flawless? No, there will never be a single one like that. Not truly. But this one is a blast and is purely and simply fun to just sit down and read, over and over again, making the same choices every time. And that in itself is such an accomplishment. If I could commend it a second time myself, I would. I dare say this is in the top three stories on this site, and it deserves to be regarded as a CYS classic. No, an IF classic.

Thank you, Steve. For then and now.

Amazing Story. First off, I gave it a 7 because of the huge amount of typos, improper Grammar, and continuity errors. (i.e. Lich at beginning of story, Lynch at the end) A great storytelling style, with a good use of foreshadowing (some a little too predictable, but that might just be me). The author is a very cultured man, with many pop culture references. Crab and Goyle was the most obvious one. I love that you made a bunch of Endings, even early on, that aren't death. The endings may provide the player the end they want, but may not be as satisfying. Also, towards the end, there was more repetition of words like "and" for example.

Now, for the praise...

My favorite character was Kai, as he had that Deadpool vibe going for him. All the nerdy references in the story, very subtle, but amazing!!!! I saw some Skyrim, Harry Potter, and others that I can't remember/name. The Soren/Malign character was also fun, to see the struggle for power (I personally let Soren win. If you can't find out why, take another look at my username) was truly amazing. The element of romance was also great, one criticism (I know I'm praising, but this is a smaller one, that is forgivable) is that you never state (in the storyline I played) when the relationship becomes sexual, and it just sort of is told to the reader explicitly a lot further into a story. Also, terrific character development for The Grand Necromancer, he had good motivations, and you made him a lovable character. You also included some pacifist endings, and that was amazing. Blaise is also a great character, and it was great to see her develop both physically (not like that, jeez you got a dirty mind) and emotionally. A bit disappointed in the choice of what magic you can use, i wish you didn't limit the character to only Blood Magic, HOWEVER, i do realize this is based not only on your willpower, but is also genetics. So, limiting makes sense, it just is a little frustrating if the reader's personality wants stealth or lightning, etc. Furthermore, i don't know if you did this by mistake, or on purpose, i appreciate it either way, is the labeling you left in the story. For example: Garden (Romance) or Battlefield (R) or even Castle (Romance). I thought this was a great touch, but reading other comments, it seems like that might have been more of a mistake.

And now, SPOILER ALERT

SPOILERS!!!!

That should be adequate warning...


I personally achieved 4 Endings.

The first was escaping the castle when told to wash up, and those choices I made to achieve that would be the most realistic choices that I would make.

The second ending was the farmer epilogue, after saying no to Blaise to rebuilding the Empire. My second favorite ending.

The third Ending was an Epilogue, with Mr Ch... Yeah you know who I'm talking about. A great ending, but I wasn't satisfied with that ending, so I then went for the ending I really want.

The fourth ending I achieved was the one where Dante summons the elementals and absolutely DESTROYS the Alliance. The Kai Tax was an amazing comedic detail ;) you made me laugh. This is definitely my favorite ending.

I wish there was a way to be a "Good Guy" like Soren, and still have a good story, but I do realize this is supposed to be the evil side. The romance was an amazing, and predictable touch. The love for cranberries is hilarious. But grammar and typos nightmare lowered the overall score from 8 to 7. A bit surprised with typos and grammar when you said Mizal helped, but that's okay. Maybe read up on grammar, expand your vocabulary, and proofread everything next time. I'm definitely going to play this again later, and see what other endings are in store.


P.S. commenting on mobile sucks, as you can't post long comments, or the post button disappears. I don't know why. Please fix if possible!

Steve, this was both fantastic and inspiring.

The writing was great, and the narrative had an amazing voice that was very much you. The story was thrilling, adventurous, sweet and romantic in different aspects. I loved how you played with tropes, twisting them around in interesting ways. The Path of Death is filled with memorable moments, characters and personalities. This story is a must read and just goes on and on and on. I also highly enjoyed the lore in the story and how some early decisions came back to relevance later in the story.

This story is absolutely feature worthy, though we have so many excellent stories in the fantasy section. Perhaps it is time to break the fantasy section into two of its sub-genres so more top stories can sport the main StoryGame page. Or if the site moved to drawing six stories from a select pool of feature worthy stories randomly when the page is loaded, I would strongly support this story being among that group.

As great as any story is, there is always room for improvement. There were some grammar errors, but I would expect that in a story this size, without having a publisher and editing team to help support you. A tad more jarring were the rare instances where you typed the name of one character, when you were referring to another. I believe there was one instance where Blaise was called something else entirely (as in a name that wasn't even a another character in the story.) The occasional paragraph would read odd, where you would use the same noun repeatedly in close proximity, often at the end of one sentence and the very beginning of the next.

Other than that, only two things really jumped out at me. You had Checkers IIX in the story. Unless I missed a joke somewhere that this was intentional, the roman numeral for "8" is VIII. The other was Dagden suffering multiple broken ribs early in the story and immediately jumping around and going axe crazy on his enemy. I understand he's an orc, and they're 'special' but that really stretches my suspension of disbelief. Severe trauma to the core makes even the slightest movement incredibly painful. A character suffering multiple broken ribs would have severe difficulty breathing, possible internal injuries (fluid in the lungs, for example) and would be incapable of swift, sudden movements. Dagden tended to heal awfully quickly in general from what seemed to be rather significant wounds (with or without potions).

Oh, and I had 100 gold coins at one point in the dwarf town, but I was able to buy everything in the store, despite the combined price being more than that.

All that aside, I felt the story had so much effort poured into it - and was so well thought out and done - that I gave it a perfect 8/8 because taken as a whole, it was marvelous and cross blended multiple genres quite well. And I give very few perfect ratings. You should be quite proud of this story.

I can honestly say I loved this game. I am sad I wasn't a necromancer, but I think its possible so I'll do it eventually. The character's personalities are very fleshed out, at one point I sat and thought for about 5 minutes before deciding on who to bring along to see more interactions. The demon Malign is hilarious, and the dark elf and demon friendship between him and well, the dark elf I don't remember the spelling of the name of, is amazing. This entire thing made me feel like I was playing dnd, so thank you so much for this!

There are a few typos from time to time but a nice story overall. I felt the characters were pretty developed as well. I think a little more grandeur with an epilogue would have helped but that is minor.

this took me over 4 hours to finish but it was worth it

best story ever good job

Good, real good

Easily one of my favorite storys, making me feel strong as a charactor but not too overpowered and blaise just made me fell very nice inside.

it not what i thot but was pretty good

I initially didn't think this would be so entertaining. But it was. I'm impressed by the sheer amount of work that went into it, and if parts were a little silly or overblown, I think that generally only added to the fun. And overall, that's what this one was - fun!

Great story, wish you had an option in what magic you could perform though.

Pog game

Damn good story to fucking bad that all good stories have a fucking ending

That. Was. Seriously. Awesome! I really enjoyed conquering the world ???? I usually like it more when I can create my own character, but I really liked playing as Dag. There were a few mistakes in writing, but that didn't took away from beeing able to enjoy the reading. ^^ overall I can only say: amazing and good story! ^^

fucking amazing

It was really good! Apart from a few mistakes in spelling and grammar, it was one of the best story games I've read!

Extremely hard but enjoyable in every single way. Great plot and writing---only a singular spelling mistake after several run through. Highly recommend it.

Great story line there:)

A beautiful story! One of the great parts of it is the progression and growth.

So much writing. Took me almost a month to read the introduction. Bit sad too, really. My first story I've read on this app and certainly not the best. Like to see a happier story, please.

This story is the best game on the site I've read so far, and I don't say that lightly. The amount of options and endings is immense, and the personal choice you have is massive. It took me almost two weeks to finish the endings of this and it was a worthwhile experience.

This was absolutely brilliant! This was the first story I read/played through on this site, and I will definitely be trying more of them because of how good this story is!

I loved the story though. All the details and lore, and the characters were great! Thank you for writing this. It was a pleasure to read and play through!

Almost as good as Pewdiepie ?????????? I rate it 5 spicy peppers.

Great

This game is awesome

is gud

I... it... I mean... wow, just wow.

I chose the wrong choice! Shame. I enjoyed this.

GREAT GAME!!!!! Worth it all the way, well written and engaging. Im going to play it over and over!

This was an amazing and engrossing story. I loved every minute of it. Great job!

Whoa,It was a long journey to the end.This took the longest time to complete for me than any other one I’ve played on this site.I completely and thoroughly enjoyed the game and the choices felt very interesting.The lack of customisation irked me but that’s a huge mess to implement.Keep up the good work writer.Hope to see more of your content.Once again for the record,Seriously one of the best games I’ve played on this site.

8/8.Excellent and Well Written(Gramatical errors given a pass)


Stalks Welsh Strikes Again.

I loved this story it’s really adventure.

So, mobile sucks, an I can't post long comments, as the "Submit Comment" button disappears if too long. I will post my real review later when I get on via PC.

This game is AMAZING, the people act like actual people, the game is very descriptive, the only thing bad is the opportunity to soft lock yourself in some choices if you save at the wrong time, but other than that, its amazing

-really good story
-way too many choices
-Many endings
-Long story
-interesting characters
-Too little sex with blaise
10/10

Loved the game didn't like the fact that you had to practice blood magic though

Absolutely smashing adventure, I loved the journey. Also liked that Blaise wasn't forced as a romantic character onto the reader. Kudos!

An incredibly entertaining story! Loved the various paths; they were well thought out and "logical" to the characters and the milieu. There were quite a few grammar errors but that is to be expected in such a massive story. This gets a hardy recommendation from me and I think most people would honestly love the choices and the story telling so it would be hard for me to imagine anyone not having this as one of their top five on this site!

dvnbefbfsbbef

OK I don't even have the words for how great this story was. I loved how long it was and how it was created. I played this for about three hours. Why? I played every choice in the game and got all of the endings.

I loved the way the character's developed and how they changed throughout the story. I noticed very few spelling mistakes but I don't really care about that. Although I did laugh when I saw Bliase instead of Blaise. This is 100% one of my favorite storygames. I would love to see a 2nd one although I can't really see how.
Overall I loved the story and rated it a 8/8.

I had loads of fun playing this game, but I am a bit sad about how the begging plays out.

I loved the story. Read through to several endings and it's great, really. I was just so frustrated...annoyed? at the writing style. Things get repeated, a lot, sometimes in the same sentence. The flow wasn't really there for me, it felt very blunt, and towards the end i was almost skimming through the larger paragraphs.
I'm not a writer so I might just be fussy over nothing. I'd still recommend this as a good read, as well as the prequel.

Examples:

"You sit down at the dining table, and zombies bring out platters of food. You sit down at the table, next to Blaise. You grab a piece of bread. You begin chewing on the bread as..."

"Suddenly, the room fills with black, sulfurous smoke and you begin to cough as your vision's obscured. The smoke clears after a minute of coughing, and you pause."

"...stare at you for a few minutes, before the black, sulfurous smoke begins to be emitted from under their cloaks and you begin to cough as your vision's obscured."

Great Story and World building. There were grammar error here and there some word were confusing, and there were some dialogue that needed to be fix, i enjoy the character a lot but.. you know they all kind of the same.. but overall i really enjoy this story great job and thank you very much for your hard work

am

NICE JOOB THE BOOK IS VERY DLA MARDE

Don't know what to say but amazing! Still I wish there were hidden endings like in the insanity ending if there was hidden texts to not become insane, know everything and become omnipotent on a level at or higher than Mr.Chivinski. A sequel would be nice but I'm not sure how you would pull it off (preferably with the option to become a necromancer yourself)!

I really loved this story. The characters were crafted really well and were easily distinguished from each other as they were all unique. I thought that it was really clever how Dante was portrayed to the reader and I started off kind of hating him but then grew to trust him. It was also pretty funny, I especially loved when Dag was recruiting necromancers and also when he was swearing at the start and runs out of swear words. One thing I did get confused about was that I had 100 coins in a town and then I managed to buy everything (cost more than 100 coins). I also would have liked to explore Dag's powers more.

Another awesome orc story.
I greatly enjoyed all the smiting that happened--particularly when he killed the spearman in that one ending. So that alone makes me pretty happy, but the story was also quite interesting.
There were many parts that I found quite humorous too. The Elf Teacher Dude's introduction was a high point for me.
I would have liked if there had been a little more branching of the story, but there are a good number of endings as it is.

Good

Good story, but I don’t really like all of the options that don’t matter at all. Why even give the choice of your reaction to the rat if they’re all just going to end up with Dag’s pussy ass freaking out. Otherwise great story.

Well worth the read

Loved it! Quite lengthy though.

I got the "best" ending first try. Really good story, it brought me enlightenment. :)

How did I die with 100 Health?

Nice.

The story is misty certainly interesting, if not a bit linear. Though my biggest complaint is the large number of spelling and grammatical errors.

So good!

lol i jumped back in to see what would happen if i went with the vamp dont no what i was thinking of course she is going to eat me ha.

I loved this alot this should be made into a an open world rpg for PC and XB1.

:D Blaise loves me. She slapped me so hard, I almost lost some health.

Amazing story, brilliant worldbuilding and characters, nice plot twists, not boring and slow like a lot of other storygames. One of my favourites.

Best story I read, pretty sure I got all the endings, but made sure that my last ending was the best ending.

Haha! First try and I ended the game free as a bird. How about that?

AWESOME

This was so engaging, rewarding and well written - my favorite story on this site so far! Thank you for your work!

Very cool story. I just have one problem. I am racist against orcs. Lol just kidding, I got the on the road ending, so I'm pretty satisfied with how my story ended. Awesome job.

Awesome story

Holy shit absolutely amazing story

We should be able to pay out the vampire storyline

Awesome 8/8

loved it

Lets see,there's nothing to say. Its frickin great

I love discovering different endings! One of my favorite games

Definitly a great story. I fell a pressing need to replay the story a number of times as I have some regrets on the choices I made and would like to see the differing outcomes that may have happened (Such is life). I would have rated it higher but there were a a few typos that pulled me out of the story :( - Other than those (few and far between) I highly recommend "The Path of Death" Great Job!

Nicely done. I would have liked some more choices, but nicely done. I loved Dag's personality.

Awesome story perfectly long with many twists turns and choices to make giving you multiple chances for more play throughs

One of the better stories I've read/played through on here, but let down by some somewhat glaring grammatical/formatting errors.
Still, 7/8 because it made me laugh

It was fun. Took me a while to get an ending that I was satisfied with haha. I wonder if marrying Blaise is an option?

It kinda went lowkey at the end...

Amazing. First story I've had to read in multiple sittings.

This is unquestionably the most impressive, lengthy and fun story game I've had to pleasure of experiencing. Motives change over time, characters evolve and it's a lot of fun to experience.

This is an epic that deserves every bit of praise it gets.

it is quite long but trust me its worth it ;P

Perfect

Think i got the better endings to be honest. Still wonder if what would happen if you were to escape as a child.

it i very good love how you can make friends or destroy everyone just wish i could choose my kind :)

I love this game I have played it so many times

Was so good it felt like the time i united with Lithuania :)

Not better than externals, but it's a great one. Thanks a lot

It's decent!

SPOILER





Really nice plot and characters, but Dag could have explored more his blood magic powers, it felt a little too blunt.

It was great! Plz make a sequel

quite long (took me two days to finish) awsome buti wish there were more choices to chose with out death

Love this story I was kinda sad when it ended because it was so amazing

I love Dante as a character.

That was pretty amazing story-game of the boy have a dragon bone & fight off bear with fire arrows.It also cool of fantasy,like hunting,fighting,and surviving.That's why i like this story-game.

First instinct was that it was too wordy. My first instinct was wrong. 8/8

Just awesome, the history, description... all of it

"Ending: On the Road (V)
On the Road


Three years later, you walk along the road with Blaise, the Apprentice Necromancers and your newly married wife, Val. The past three years have been hard, but fun. You acted first as runaways, hiding from Alliance Patrols, Adventurers, Heroes and Bounty Hunters. You went from friendly town to caves to deep in the woods, sleeping on the road. Eventually, you turned to stealing to survive.


"We are bandits," Thorn says.


"No we're not," Val replies. "We only steal from the richer caravans, and only what we need that makes us... "liberators of excess stock in caravans"."


"That makes us bandits," Thorn grins.


You shrug. You don't really care what you're called. Bandits, Adventurers, Wanderers, it doesn't matter. You're happy. Your relationship with Val has only grown overtime, and Blaise seems to have garnered the attention of at least one of the Apprentices. The Alliance has collapsed due to infighting and war, which means few people left actively pursue you."

One of the better endings. ;)

this game is a lot more interesting then the others I did I like this one and I suggest it very much.

It was a good story and fun read.

This is the best book I have ever read.

incredible

so cool

A great story 8/8 FOR BAGIG! BURNING VENGEANCE!
I did see a few spelling errors but that's my only complaint.
This story reminded me of a different orc story can't remember its name though, oh well.

I like it, good job Steve

I died a couple of times which was fantastic, the deaths and endings were all creative and lovely, I'll probably keep coming back to this to see all route! Well bloody done!!

It was a great start, but near the end the author didn't really give a shit anymore, lol. literally tons of misspells, and name switches leaving me confused, and the romance with the girl just suddenly went away? i don't know but in the end it was enjoyable, mainly because its long story.

It was Really long, but I enjoyed it a lot. There are some spelling errors, other than that is was extremely well made. I may have spent an entire day playing it trying to get to the end. Make more like this please.

I'm going to be honest, the characters seem really, really out-of-character with their directness. It's like a fantasy medieval world with 2017 social conventions. But it was pretty fun playing through it anyways, so I won't complain.

Man, what can I say? This is possibly my favourite story so far, and I can tell you put a huge amount of effort and time into it. I usually read stories in one sitting and this took quite a few! I've barely used the save button until now. I had to write bloody notes for this one! So onto what else I liked:
The dialogue sounds realistic, doesn't break character, and is packed with a lot of well balanced humour. I also thought that the romantic element was pretty masterfully developed, especially towards the beginning and middle of the story where there are some really thoughtfully written scenes. The whole premise for the story is fantastic and I love how Dante turns out to not just be a classic megalomaniac necromancer trope, but actually develops into a sound guy. Also, his whole motive of creating the undead realm to reduce crime etc. is something the reader can at least identify a little with, which I felt got me slowly on Dante's side as the story progressed and you found out the characters are more than they first appear. Talking of characters, there were many excellently written characters from all walks of life who really stood out and helped to make this into more than just another fighting fantasy genre story. There was loads of action and generally well balanced choices that were proportional to the risks taken. Brilliant writing on the whole and a story to be proud of.

Okay, no story is without criticism and my criticisms are small. A few other comments pointed out some specific things I noticed as well, but there are some I'll go through that I don't think were commented about:
Some of the flow was a bit jaunty. It is a huge story, so that's to be expected, but it could have been even smoother by just going through and reading it out loud a few times (as well as eliminating grammatical errors, which seemed to increase towards the end). It just started to become a bit 'You do this. You do that.', and sometimes adjectives or nouns were repeated in close proximity. I also noticed quite a few titles for pages had comments left over for you to help script it, such as one saying (+5 Military Power) or something and (Romance) in another. Also, you can set free the demon in the book in the forbidden part of the library as many times as you like, so I'd suggest making the book links clickable just once. The main thing that was noticeable was the font changes, which were kind of random and pretty regular. Something I did find pretty funny was with the hellfire option with the knight where you can choose to put him out of his misery or let him burn. Both of them just let him burn (you sick monster!).
Oh yeah, and 'peacefully shoo away the rat' leads to killing it! Why'd you make me do it man?:(

(That being said... Mort is a pretty cool consequence of that, the lovable little fellow!)

And that's everything. Seriously, I loved this game.
7/8

Good Story Good Plot Good Everything

Let's see, overall it;s 7/8.
It's a very interesting story that kept me up for hours(considering my attention span). Everything was
666

Every time I play this, I'm astounded by how much I missed the previous time. Great storygame, great characters, and great job overall!

One minor typo: in the scene where you get allegiance from the towns, Lady Eli (or someone) says she'd be happy to stand against you, then pledges herself to your service. I think it's supposed to be stand "with" you.

lovely and make a second one

One word, amazing.

Very long. Great Job detailing; one thing that would make it better for me is more options. It's less interesting without so many choices. I made it to the end after probably a few hours but it kept me interested; that's a hard thing to do with a story this long.

Amazing story. Couple of typos though, but didn't impair my reading.

This was a great story but i felt trapped for a choose your own adventure most choices lead to death or you fail vary little outside of combat and relationship with the girl are change able and only slightly but all in all great story for sure read it love the new out look on orcs and necromancers

this is a grate game and i would be willing to play any sequles you make so please do

This was really really good I loved it loved the characters and I felt for them I was Dang. I felt his lose and I loved his character growth. I was happy to be apart of it and if I rated 1 out 10 i'd give it a 11!! I loved it great job.

Kinda short

I love so much when you can get into the characters and feel some emotion. This was perfect and I completely enjoyed this art. Thank you!

You have a few typos and got a few names mixed up

This is honestly the best game I have ever played if there was anything higher than a eight than I'd pick the highest I could

Really loved it, loved the humour. My favourite character was Mr Nilvos and Soren/Malign. Favourite scene is where the main character is trying to weed down the necromancer recruits, ha ha .. it was soo amusing. Thanks for the great run.

Wow, just, wow. Well written, great characters, if the love relationship was a little obvious. If I had to have a complaint, I think that the route to the relationship with Blaise was almost completely unavoidable.

great

I love this story game so much!!! The path of death is a perfect mix of action love and comedy. I have played this games like 20 times and each time I have triumphed and had a great time I love it!!

Pretty cool using the variable system. I can tell a lot of effort was put into this

I loved this story from the moment I left school I played for at least 2 hours (I wanted to see the romance ending)...Highly recommended 10/10 would read again.

Best story/game ever

Well this was good, the second romance option could have been much better though. It was a good story although the other paths were short.

It was fun and very entertaining.not to hard but not simple. It was just right

Pretty good though I died really fast

It was a fun read with fun characters.

Although there have been some grammatical errors, which are really trivial but are distracting, I thoroughly enjoyed taking part in this story. The part with Mr. Chinkrinsky was especially brilliant!

Impressive and inspiring. Alot of choices and many endings!

I died killing a zombie... oh well. Good detail, though.

Amazing story. Great job! I couldn't stop reading. Hope to see more from you!

great
good luck

Amazing :)

Most likely the best game I've played on this site so far. 11/10

Damn I'm so into this story! shits are getting reall!! Iloveit mann! nice workk! Wish I could enter that world and be dagden! ????

Very exhilarating

amazing

Fucking masterpiece, I wish i new the english or any language well enough to fully explain how amazing, funny, beautiful, awesome, down-to-earth and so much more this story was. I didn't read the authors name before this but I'm so checking out any of his works after. Truly a masterpiece, thank you

That was one of the most enjoyable CYS games that I have ever played. Major props to the author who created this. The story was long and interesting and I was actually interested in the characters. Especially Blaise *wink wink*.

Yay I beat the game enjoyed it a lot and took many try's from me to beat. It is quite a long one.

awesome

This story was very well written and had an interesting story I loved the characters I loved the romance and everything I also really enjoyed how the magic makes an affect on the story and your characters health please make another story like this soon

Wow...just wow... I'm speechless. Loved it!!!

AMAZING! VERY LONG! LOTSA CHOICES AND ROUTES AND ENDINGS!VERY ENTERTAINING! THE BOMBEST GAME EVER!!!

10/10 would do again

You should make it longer

it was an interesting take on the orcs i found the cranberries as a craving very entertaining

Twas a long trip, and I loved it! That self-sacrifice scene...quite moving!

Great job

The options are great and it is an amazing example of work.

Best Chose your own story I've ever read good job.

10000/9000 (It's OVER NINE THOUSAND)

Wow. Just wow.

This story is quite amazing, great story, many endings.. There are a few negative things, (i.e Dag's personality is consistantly an asshole.). But has it's perks.

A bit long, but good nonetheless.

This was an awesome game. If you would like some constructive critisem plz reduce the swearing

feels great man

Omg i loved this

An amazing CYS - totally worth reading/playing. Not too difficult but not overly easy either.
I urge you to play it

Uh oh unexpected ending hah

More fun than blebbering around

I thoroughly enjoyed the layout of the story, well done. There were a handful of spelling mistakes, but if English isn't your first language then I understand. I would have gone more in depth with the history of the races and towns.

I really enjoyed it. Great writing, as well as a really nice plot line. I got all of the best endings. My favorite being the one where they conquered everything with the crown.

you misspelled lich with lynch in more than a few places, sorry to point it out but...

Aww I got the good ending :3
It's great but I kinda pity for making Dagden a virgin til the end . -. You really get to know the characters well, to the point where you really feel like you're bonding with them.

This is such a great game, there was comedy if you want it, there are romances of your choice if you want it. It all depends on the choices you make and that's amazing.

One of my favorites. Great work!

It literally took me 2 and a half hours to finish!! Loved it! Amazing not many stories are this long yet entertaining! 8/8 hope you make more like this soon!

What ending did you like best I got the revenge one

Nice

dope

Now im a elf kind of guy, but even i have to say 10/10 for being a bitchin orc blood warrior

My god what did I just read.

I know I saw spelling mistakes, but who the heck cares?

I had to stop reading this in the middle of the night, and I had a dream about this storygame!

This is the best storygame I have ever fucking read.

This is probably one of the best stories I have read in a long time, besides being one of the longest, it's simply amazing how you see the lives of Dag change, and evolve.

Got the family ending

great story

A very entertaining game

8/8 i loved it!

Likeable characters, enticing story, I really like this story. One of my only critisms is that during dialogue, it can sometimes be difficult to tell who is speaking, esspecially when there are more than two than people involved. But, despite that and some other things, I think this is a solid 7/8.

it was enlightening, it was an inspiration to writers everywhere. Except for a few minor spelling and grammatical errors, but its all good.

This is perhaps one of the best pieces of art I have ever seen. Masterfully written and it feels like you are the character yourself. I consider this story on par with the famous "Necromancer".

Great fic. I highly recommend. It reminds me of necromancer, which is high praise.

A great story, but one complaint: the majority of "combat scenes" were fairly linear: the HEALTH stat didn't seem to matter frequently, if at all--it just showed how badassedly injured I was until I slept it all off the next day. There was maybe only one point where death came from running out of HEALTH, instead of a prescripted death.
Otherwise, an enjoyable read! Well done!

Frikin GREAT

I had to restart the game a couple times to get the ending I wanted but it was worth it

I hadn't commented on this game earlier for some reason, but I just wanted to say what a fantastic, thought out game this is. I think the game strikes a good balance between setting the scene and allowing the reader to embellish the details in their minds. I agree with quiller too that the characterisation was done well, I think the interaction between the protagonist and girl was particularly well executed.

I couldn't find anything to criticise either, so I rated this an 8/8.

I don't know what I was expecting, but this game absolutely exceeded expectations. It took the standard tropes of dark fantasy and turned them upside down, managed to bounce between snarky, dark, fluffy, and badass all while delivering a great plot at a snappy pace.

The writing is fantastic, the characters are all very unique and memorable, the dialogue is witty and very natural, and the game just great fun all the way through. It's serious when it needs to be serious and funny when it needs to be funny, as well as packed to the gills with action and adventure with a non-standard protagonist and his equally unique love interest.

Just play it.

What an experience! Thank you so much for the read, and I'm even happier that I haven't read the first one yet. Keep doing your thing :)

This is absolutely amazing, and I had a great time.

i gotta say it was a very good story please continue writing.

great game..its very long but worth it...I can seriously see the effort u put into it..keep up the great work & keep it coming

Now I got through the whole thing. It was awesome.

This was a amazing sequel I hope you make more games like this

amazing from start to finish.

really good story. It wasn't very long for me because I escaped from the castle. I'm a ninja...kind of...

I clicked on this story thinking that it would be something bad and short like the others, but I was proven wrong. Although this story doesn't really allow you to choose much- only some parts, I loved it. Keep up the good work. Well done.

It's a story about necromancy and taking over the world with the added bonus of it having amusing swear laden dialogue.

I think it's pretty obvious that I liked it a lot.

WouldntItBeNice - keep in mind we're talking about a nine year old child here. 'I wonder if this little green kid will try to revenge murder my daughter, who just saved his life a little earlier' is probably not a thought that seriously occurred to him.

And even then, it's not like the girl was unprotected...

Okay, this story is great. I clicked on the story thinking that it would not be that good, but I was pleasantly surprised. The characters were the best part of the story for me. The oddly moral necromancer, the nice zombies, and the funny arguments that a certain character would have with himself (themselves?) all set this apart from what I am used to at least.
I did notice a few grammatical errors throughout, but it was nothing that detracted from the story.
Finally, there was one thing that confused me. If I or my forces kill a person's brother, turned said brother into a zombie, and then abducted that person--why would I let that same person be alone with my daughter when he can easily kill her? I simply do not see his thought process there.
Anyway, I liked it a lot.