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The Dark Room

17 days ago

Not sure if any of you guys have ever played or heard of The Dark Room by John Robertson, but for those of you who haven't... I suppose the best way I can think to describe it, is that it is either the best or the worst text based adventure game of all time, and I really can't decide which. Either way, I'm going to attempt to recreate it for you! ^_^

... You awake to find yourself in a dark room!

A. Go North

B. Turn on Light Swith

C. Sleep

D. Why?

The Dark Room

17 days ago

D.  Why?

The Dark Room

17 days ago

... Because it's dark. And it's a room. And you're awake in it. ^_^

A. Sleep

B. Turn on Light Switch

The Dark Room

17 days ago
Sleep!

The Dark Room

17 days ago

You're completely overwhelmed with exhaustion from spending a whole 10 seconds doing FUCKING NOTHING!!! You fall asleep... And when you wake up... Guess what...

You awake to find yourself in a dark room! ^_^

A. Check Pockets

B. Czech Pockets

The Dark Room

17 days ago
Czech pockets!

The Dark Room

17 days ago

Congratulations! Your pockets were made in the Czech Republic. This information doesn't help you escape, but it's lovely to know.

A. Will you ever be kind to me?

The Dark Room

17 days ago
Will you ever be kind to me? :'(

The Dark Room

17 days ago

Hmm... Let me think about it... No. And now you're dead. ^_^

Would you like to play again?

A. Yes

B. No

The Dark Room

17 days ago
I gasp! Was... was it the belt!?

The Dark Room

17 days ago

Yes. Sorry, wish I could help, but I'm afraid the belt just really doesn't like you. It was made in Germany and seems to have some kind of grudge against your Czech pockets... Ah well, what you gonna do?

The Dark Room

17 days ago

A.  Yes

The Dark Room

17 days ago

Then start a new game then! angry

The Dark Room

17 days ago

You awake to find yourself in a dark room!

A. Go North

B. Turn on Light Swith

C. Sleep

D. Why?

The Dark Room

17 days ago

Can I go south?

The Dark Room

17 days ago

No... And just for asking, you're dead.

Would you like to play again? ^_^

A. Yes

B. No

The Dark Room

17 days ago

A.  Yes

The Dark Room

17 days ago

Oh, what fun! laugh

The Dark Room

17 days ago

You awake to find yourself in a dark room!

A. Go North

B. Turn on Light Swith

C. Sleep

D. Why?

The Dark Room

16 days ago

A.  Go north, I guess...

The Dark Room

16 days ago

You proceed in the direction you believe to be north... And walk into a wall. It then occurs to you that you have no idea which direction north is. How can you be sure? You don't have a compass, and even if you did, you wouldn't be able to see it. You're in a dark room!

A. Type

B. Weigh

C. Abandon Hope

D. Find Light Switch

The Dark Room

16 days ago
D. Find Light Switch

The Dark Room

16 days ago

How will you find the light switch? You're in a dark room! You need the light switch to see, do you see? ... Oh, I just got the weirdest sense of deja vu. frown

A. I see

B. I don't see

The Dark Room

16 days ago

A.  I see

The Dark Room

16 days ago

Bullshit you see! You're in a dark room!

A. Listen for Light Switch

B. Touch the Wall

The Dark Room

16 days ago

A. Listen for Light Switch

The Dark Room

16 days ago

You listen for the light switch... It bores you with stories of the great war between electricity and steam.

A. Smell For Light Switch

B. Touch The Wall

The Dark Room

15 days ago
A. Smell For Light Switch

The Dark Room

15 days ago

The dark room smells of roomy darkness.

A. Touch The Wall

B. That Doesn't Make Sense!

The Dark Room

15 days ago

A.  And if you say it is too dark to find, screw you.  I'll stumble until I do.

The Dark Room

15 days ago

You caress the wall... It's indifferent to you.

A. Touch Another Wall

The Dark Room

15 days ago

It's just being coy.  

A.  Touch another wall

The Dark Room

15 days ago

Now the first wall's jealous!

A. Apologize

B. Touch Yet Another Wall

The Dark Room

14 days ago

B.  Touch another wall.

Bitch needs to know that I can have the biggest wall-harem I want.

The Dark Room

14 days ago

Oh, I see! You’re just some sort of brick work slut, aren’t you? Now the walls have lost all respect for you. They cannot stand your bizarre brand of brick and mortar molestation. The walls collapse and the ceiling caves in… You die!

Would you like to play again?

A.Yes

B.No

The Dark Room

14 days ago

A.  Yes

The Dark Room

13 days ago

You're just a glutton for punishment, aren't you? ^_^

The Dark Room

13 days ago

Ja, pretty much.

The Dark Room

16 days ago

B. Turn on Light Switch

The Dark Room

16 days ago

How will you find the light switch? You're in a dark room! You need the light switch to see, do you see?

A. I see

B. I don't see

The Dark Room

16 days ago

Idk. How dark is the dark room?

The Dark Room

16 days ago

... It's dark. ^_^

Edit: Oh shit, that was the wrong reply. Let me fix that...

The Dark Room

16 days ago

Well, that's always been your problem. Self esteem too high! Think you can turn on anything. Even inanimate objects. What would you turn the light switch on with?

A. With My Finger

B. Think Outside The Box

The Dark Room

15 days ago

B. Think Outside The Box

The Dark Room

15 days ago

Congratulations! Your brain is now free of cardboard. Unfortunately, you're not trying to escape the box, are you? You're trying to escape the dark room!

A. Abandon Hope

B. Kill Self

C. Think Outside The Room

The Dark Room

15 days ago
C. Think outside the room
Let's delve into the absurdity of this world!

The Dark Room

15 days ago

Hey, get your own thread.

The Dark Room

15 days ago
you complain about me commenting by commenting?
Then, my answer was the beginning of the thread you created with it. interesting.
And that's funny that you complain about me answering to "think outside the room" just to repeat it immediately after.
It's not "thinking outside the box" it's basically "bashing your head against it until something cracks".

The Dark Room

15 days ago

Are you high? None of what you just said makes any sense.

The Dark Room

14 days ago
I ain't. A comment is a "leaf" until someone answer to it, making it the node of a thread. Your comment being "get your own thread", I was merely pointing that you were, in fact, creating a thread by complaining.
Out of boredom, I also criticized the mismatch between your choice and the "lateral thinking" that is called "thinking outside the box".

The Dark Room

15 days ago

C. Think Outside The Room

The Dark Room

15 days ago

You think outside the room. Which means your brain is outside the room! Wonderful! You've done it!!! There's just one problem... Your body is still inside the room. So, if your body is inside the room and your brain is outside the room, that can mean only one thing... You're dead!

Have fun aimlessly floating around in a jar on some mad scientist's bookshelf... Unless of course, you'd like to play again. ^_^

A. Yes

B. No

The Dark Room

14 days ago

I get the impression that this is an unwinnable game, but A. 

The Dark Room

14 days ago

What in the world would give you that impression? cheeky

The Dark Room

16 days ago
Oh when I saw the title I thought you meant A Dark Room, which had a popular thread here awhile back and owns.

The Dark Room

16 days ago

Oh yeah, I remember that game. I think I spent a couple of days doing nothing but playing it. ^_^

The Dark Room

15 days ago
I don't see how being in a dark room would be a problem. Just have a blind protagonist, problem solved! :)

The Dark Room

15 days ago

Do you smell or listen for the light switches?

The Dark Room

15 days ago
I think she senses their heartbeat, like a snake or Daredevil. Or maybe she detects their lifeforce. Who knows. None survived, anyway.

The Dark Room

15 days ago
Or maybe, just maybe, I just touch the walls until I find one. But this is ignoring the obvious fact that as a blind person, I don't really need to find a light switch. I just need to find a door ... which is done the same way as finding a light switch.

The Dark Room

15 days ago

By groping the poor, unsuspecting walls. ^_^

The Dark Room

14 days ago

You awake to find yourself in a dark room!

A. Go North

B. Turn on Light Switch

C. Sleep

D. Why?

The Dark Room

14 days ago

C. Sleep

The Dark Room

14 days ago

You sleep. You wake up. I'll give you one guess...

You awake to find yourself in a dark room!

A. Check Pockets

B. Czech Pockets

The Dark Room

13 days ago

A. Check Pockets

I know what happen with the other one.

The Dark Room

13 days ago

Congratulations, you're wearing checked pockets. It's a hideous fashion choice, and you wouldn't have known because the room is so dark... But I decided to tell you anyway. ^_^

A. Really Check Pockets

B. Abandon Hope

C. Weep

The Dark Room

13 days ago

C. Weep

I don’t care that I’m in a room, or even that I can’t see, but the fact that I’m wearing checked pockets is just too much.

The Dark Room

13 days ago

Oh, lovely. This is you:

"Oh, I'm in a dark room. I guess I'll take a nap... Hmm... I'm still in a dark room... Fuck, my pockets are ugly... Waa!" Remember at school when the teacher said you were unnecessarly dramatic about everything? Well, this is why.

A. Lean On Wall And Weep

The Dark Room

13 days ago

A. Lean On Wall And Weep

This is usually when my mom comes and comforts me, telling me that my pockets aren’t that ugly, even though I know she’s lying.

The Dark Room

13 days ago

Awh, poor diddums. You weep against the wall. You weep and you weep and you weep and... Well done! You have found the light switch! Or, at least... Your tears have! Your tears trickle down the wall. Your tears find the light switch. 1000 volts dance up your tears into your face. You die!

Would you like to play again? ^_^

A. Yes

B. No

The Dark Room

12 days ago

A. Yes

 

The Dark Room

13 days ago

You awake to find yourself in a dark room!

A. Go North

B. Turn on Light Switch

C. Sleep

D. Why?

The Dark Room

13 days ago

C. Sleep

The Dark Room

13 days ago

Jesus, you're a bunch of lazy bastards, aren't you? You also go to bloody sleep, and when you bloody wake up...

You awake to find yourself in a dark bloody room!

A. Check Pockets

B. Czech Pockets

The Dark Room

13 days ago
C. Check Packets

The Dark Room

13 days ago

Oh? You have packets? What of?

A. Crisps

B. Cigarettes

C. Condoms

The Dark Room

13 days ago
B. Cigarettes Then check my pockets because cigarettes means I have a lighter, doesn't it?

The Dark Room

13 days ago

Congratulations, you have a packet of cigarettes... But... Hasn't anybody ever told you that smoking kills? You die!

Would you like to play again?

A. Yes

B. No

The Dark Room

13 days ago
This shit is rigged.

I want the next person who plays to have to contend with a zombie Mizal lurking in the dark.

The Dark Room

13 days ago

C. Yes, but only if it isn't rigged.

(And you can't kill us off because we're already dead!)

The Dark Room

12 days ago

It's not rigged... But I'm not very good at deviating from the script, so basically, any time somebody picks a non existing option... They die! (Granted, they will probably also die if they pick an existing option, but don't blame me, blame the guy who made the game.) cheeky

The Dark Room

12 days ago

You awake to find yourself in a dark room!

A. Go North

B. Turn on Light Switch

C. Sleep

D. Why?

The Dark Room

12 days ago

B. Turn on Light Switch

The Dark Room

11 days ago

Well, that's always been your problem too. Self esteem too high! Think you can turn on anything. Even inanimate objects. What would you turn the light switch on with?

A. With My Finger

B. Think Outside The Box

The Dark Room

11 days ago

A. With My Finger

The Dark Room

10 days ago

Once again, logic has arrived at the dark room! You would turn the light switch on with your finger... There's only one problem with that... You're in a dark room! Your finger doesn't know where the light switch is! Unless of course your finger can see in the dark... Can it?

A. My Finger Can See

B. My Finger Is Normal

C. My Finger Is Flipping You Off

The Dark Room

10 days ago

A. My Finger Can See

The Dark Room

9 days ago

It can? Well, that's extremely impressive. Your body can do some incredible things... Why is that?

A. I'm Radioactive

The Dark Room

9 days ago

A. I'm Radioactive

Expecting the worst...

The Dark Room

9 days ago
STUDY

The Dark Room

9 days ago

Lol thanks

The Dark Room

7 days ago

Yes! Plot-point unlocked! You are radioactive! You were born in Chernobyl... Oh dear. This isn't going to end well, is it? ^_^

A. Abandon Hope

B. Quit

The Dark Room

7 days ago

A. Abandon Hope

The Dark Room

6 days ago

Well, that escalated quickly. You know, if you're going to abandon Hope... Why don't you abandon her sisters too? Faith and Love and Charity. I never said you were alone in the dark room. There were four little girls with you, and you just abandoned them. Now they're dead. Four dead little girls... How does that make you feel?

A. Kill Self

B. Quit

C. Steal Their Stuff

The Dark Room

6 days ago

C. Steal Their Stuff

The Dark Room

5 days ago

YES!!! Ladies and gentlemen, this is the mark of a true gamer! Killed the children? Loot their corpses! I am so proud. ^_^

Unfortunately, I think you'll find it's difficult to steal from immaterial concepts like Faith and Love and Hope and Charity. There were never any little girls. Sometimes I lie to you! Can we get back to the game now, please?

A. Find the Light Switch

B. Check Pockets

C. Click Heels Together

The Dark Room

5 days ago

C. Click Heels Together

The Dark Room

5 days ago

Good choice! Of you go then. Up you get, Undr, put a nice pair of ruby slippers on. Click your heels together and say, "There's no place like CoG." ^_^

The Dark Room

3 days ago

A cruel ending for me. I obviously don't want to visit CoG, but refusing would make me die either way. I suppose there's no "undo" option, right?

*grits teeth, clicks heels and mutters, "tHeRe'S nO pLaCe LiKe CoG"*

The Dark Room

3 days ago

Yes there is, it's called Tumblr... But well done! Come on undr, once again! "There's no place like CoG!" Only this time, louder!!! ^_^

The Dark Room

2 days ago

"There's no place like CoG!!"

The Dark Room

2 days ago

LOUDER!!! ^_^

The Dark Room

yesterday

*Sighs*

THERE'S NO PLACE LIKE COG!

The Dark Room

12 days ago

And you awake to find yourself in a dark room!

A. Go North

B. Turn on Light Switch

C. Sleep

D. Why?

The Dark Room

12 days ago

B. Turn on Light Switch

Then

A. With My Finger

The Dark Room

11 days ago

Finally! Fucking finally! Logic has arrived at the dark room! You would turn the light switch on with your finger... There's only one problem with that... You're in a dark room! Your finger doesn't know where the light switch is! Unless of course your finger can see in the dark... Can it?

A. My Finger Can See

B. My Finger Is Normal

C. My Finger Is Flipping You Off

The Dark Room

11 days ago

B. My Finger Is Normal

The Dark Room

10 days ago

That's a boring choice! This is you! "Oh... I'm in a dark room... yes ... Well, that's normal."

A. What is normal?

The Dark Room

9 days ago

A. What is normal?

That I died again?

The Dark Room

9 days ago

This is you: "Oh, I'm in a dark room... yes ... Well, that's normal... But what is normal?"

A. Christmas!

The Dark Room

9 days ago

A. Christmas!

The Dark Room

7 days ago

You have selected Christmas. You sleep. You dream...

A. Move to Bethlehem

The Dark Room

7 days ago

A. Move to Bethlehem

The Dark Room

6 days ago

Yes! You must return to the land of your fathers. The Roman governor is taking a census! ^_^

A. Book An Inn

The Dark Room

5 days ago

This is really linear...

A. Book an Inn

The Dark Room

5 days ago

Oh, shit! You forgot to book an inn! It's too late now! They're all full!

A. Ask For a Room

The Dark Room

3 days ago

A. Ask For a Room

Let me guess. This loops back to me being in a dark room.

The Dark Room

3 days ago

There's no room at the inn!

A. Look For Another Inn

The Dark Room

2 days ago

A. Look For Another Inn

The Dark Room

2 days ago

There's no room at this inn either!

A. Premier Inn!

The Dark Room

yesterday

A. Premier Inn!

The Dark Room

12 days ago

You also awake to find yourself in a dark room!

A. Go North

B. Turn on Light Switch

C. Sleep

D. Why?

The Dark Room

12 days ago
Why?

The Dark Room

11 days ago

Because it's still dark. And it's still a room. And you're still awake in it. ^_^

A. Sleep

B. Turn on Light Switch

The Dark Room

11 days ago
Sleep.

The Dark Room

10 days ago

After a bizaree wet dream involving an assortment of short crust pastries and The Jonas Brothers...

You awake to find yourself in a dark room! ^_^

A. Check Pockets

B. Czech Pockets

The Dark Room

9 days ago
I don't have pockets.

The Dark Room

9 days ago

Oh shit, you don't have any pockets... Infact, you don't have any clothes at all! You are naked in the dark room! Why the fuck are you naked? What have you been up to, you dirty, dirty boy? I think it's time you started contemplating your life choices... Unfortunately, you don't have much time for that. You catch hypothermia and die!

Would you like to play again? ^_^

A. Yes

B. No

The Dark Room

9 days ago

A. yes

 

The Dark Room

7 days ago

Oh goody! ^_^

The Dark Room

7 days ago

You awake to find yourself in a dark room!

A. Go North

B. Turn on Light Switch

C. Sleep

D. Why?

The Dark Room

7 days ago

D. Why

The Dark Room

6 days ago

Because it's dark, Algae! And it's a room, Algae! And you're awake in it, Algae!

A. Sleep

B. Turn on Light Switch

The Dark Room

6 days ago

B. turn on the light switch

The Dark Room

5 days ago

Well, that's always been your problem, Algae! Self esteem too high! Think you can turn on anything. Even inanimate objects. What would you turn the light switch on with?

A. With My Finger

B. Think Outside The Box

The Dark Room

5 days ago

A. With my FingerS

The Dark Room

5 days ago

Yet again, logic has arrived at the dark room! You would turn the light switch on with your fingerS... There's only one problem with that... You're in a dark room! Your fingerS don't know where the light switch is! Unless of course your fingerS can see in the dark... Can they?

A. My FingerS Can See

B. My FingerS Are Normal

C. My FingerS Are Flipping You Off

The Dark Room

5 days ago

My normal FingerS flip you off and then feel around until they find the wall the lights attached to.

The Dark Room

3 days ago

Hmm... I am curious... What about this game so far has led you to believe that this was a good idea? Still, I don't want to seem unreasonably cruel. There's something I have to admire about a man who commits whole heartedly to a bad chioce. ^_^

You flip me off... Bad news, Algae! I am not in the dark room. You are in the dark room, which means you flip off the shadows, and I don't mean Cliff Richard's opening band, I just mean the darkness... And no, I don't mean them either.

Let me tell you something, Algae... The darkness doesn't care!

A. Weep

B. Refuse To Cry

The Dark Room

2 days ago

Be a real goblin and cry my eyes out in the corner.

The Dark Room

2 days ago

Hey, guess what... This is you:

"Oh, I'm in a dark room... Fuck you, dark room! ... Oh, the dark room doesn't care... Waa!" Krenko the Mob Boss... More like Krenko the Sob Boss! Am I right? Huh? Huh? High fives? No? Ah well.

A. Lean On Wall And Weep

The Dark Room

2 days ago
D. Light up the room with a bright smile!

The Dark Room

yesterday

A. Lean on wall and cry.  Then realize that I found a wall and search along wall for light switch.

The Dark Room

yesterday

Your tears electrocute you. I’ve already done this option.

The Dark Room

yesterday

*quickly drys eyes before this happens.*

The Dark Room

yesterday

Watch it say your blind

The Dark Room

yesterday

What?