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It's time we got to the bottom of another mystery, Cystians! The questions EVERYONE's been asking, ONCE AND FOR ALL. I have compiled them all, into a big pile, at the cost of many hours and many brain cells, and if I don't get enough answers to make a funny chart then I'M GOING TO KILL YOU

WHAT ANIMALS CYSTIANS COULD YOU BEAT SHARE WHOLESOME FEELINGS WITH IN A FIGHT FRIENDLY CONVERSATION!?

Post here when you're done so that I can verify that it is you

This has nothing to do with Sent but I'm using his likeness to advertise this thread.

Autism. I'm not done, I just want to say it's autism.

I answered the three questions I felt like answering.

This looks like a great way to get all my security answers stolen.

I’ve replied to every single question, each answer of varying quality depending on the sensitivity of the question. Like a gacha. You’ll get some stupid ones with the good, though "good" is subjective.

Not sure if it submitted, but hopefully, it did because I spent an hour on this. If you see answers about a witch hunt and cultic chants, that was me.

On a side note, what's is your mother's maiden name? 

I’ll even give you her full name. All I ask is for something in return, something as small as, say, your favorite color, your dreams and hopes, the digits on the back of your credit card, ten goats and five rolls of silk, and the blood of a virgin wolf that has fallen on the night of the full moon when it has grown swollen with light and risen at its highest point. Plus five dollars for chicken nuggets.

I've got 3 nickels and a can of cheese, is that okay?

I did it, with a few skipped ones

Way too personal. Not doing this one.

Yet you can't make a Steam account because they'll steal your info.

This is going to be the first post I commend when the new changes his the site.

You better be able to edit posts too

Only your own :)

I don’t trust that lol. I used a junk email too.

I'm an easily trusting person, stuff like this and the first google result confirming it is enough to convince me :)

Even if the first Google result comes from Quora or wikiHow?

I’m afraid the Nigerian princes would have a field day with you haha.

Quora is the worst website on this goddamn planet.

If the answerer in Quora seems like they know a thing or two...

Really? "Not trusting" google? Google, who you have already trusted with your current gmail address (and likely multiple if you use google services in a typical fashion) and personal info anyway? It's a google form. Google is one of the largest companies in the world. If they breached privacy in such a simple way they wouldn't be. The form doesn't collect emails and you can literally prove this by not being logged into a google account and filling out the form anyway.

Also I'm literally a dev - I can see your real email whenever I want.

God you and gryphon are so retarded.

I use a throwaway email for this whole site

Not because I don't trust y'all but because my only other one at the time was my school email and I was told not to give that out :p

I mean I've given it out to countless people and companies since discovering that no one actually cared, but it's whatever.

I just trust that Ford doesn’t care about my existence enough to dox me.

You guys should just follow my lead. Ford can't dox me harder than I already dox myself.

Done.

I did it. 

Done

Way too personal. That's why I did it

I responded too, why not

Took some time but it was nice seeing some of my thoughts written down.

Thara, Mizal and Cricket

You too!

I farted.

I gave a few answers.

I finished!

There was a lot of surprisingly wholesome answers. I so wish this wasn't anonymous because I'd love to get to know some of you better just based off your responses. 

The 36 questions that lead to love thing worked, I have grown to love this community a lot more. In fact, the community is 90% of the reason that I have stuck around here. I love all of the effort you all have put into this site and the amount of personality you all bring to it. You all are very kind, and unique, and intelligent. Oh, this community just oozes intelligence. It's very attractive. I'm very grateful that I stumbled upon this site all those years ago. (I had a much longer response in my head, but I can't seem to put it into words without it sounding desperate or autistic or cringer than it already is)

Faggot.

I'm so shocked I'm not even offended. I guess I should've expected this.

Okay.

Nice satire. 

:Wholesome:

Ford won't ever have the motivation for this, but I think that a guess-who for some of these responses may be interesting. Compile profiles of unidentifying responses and vote on whoever answered that.

Totally not just an attempt to figure out who complimented me.

So where's the compilation profiles so I can vote?

Nobody has access to the form results sorted by individual, and since none were mandatory it’s hard to tell if the n-th responder for one question is the same as the n-th one for the next.

Someone could ask ford to share the thing, *this time* using a non-personal email.

I'm reasonably sure the last one is, in fact, always the same person.

That sounds fun. As you said, compiling the profiles may be trickier though. Maybe you could just state your favorite answer(s) and guess who’s more likely to have written it.

Well, that person to ask Ford with a throwaway email was me. These are handpicked to not have too much identifying information, and shuffled so the date of submission is harder to correlate with confirmation posts on the forums. Unfortunately, I have no way of confirming these unless the response authors contacted me or outed themselves.
Note - not all non-identifying responses are included(max 5), for sake of space.

- Person 1 -

What would constitute a "perfect" day for you?
Depends on my mood. Ideally it would include Waking up early and maybe going on a walk, getting a ton of writing/other project work done, then doing something with friends in the afternoon and evening. Like a hike, or lazer tag, or a board game, or dungeons and dragons.

If you were able to live to the age of 90 and retain either the mind or body of a 30-year-old for the latter 60 years of your life, which would you want?
Uhhh body? Why would I want to freeze my mind at a 30 year old's maturity level? If we're instead saying I keep 30-year-old level sharpness but still am able to mature and improve, then mind.

Name three things you and CYS appear to have in common.
1. Technologically inept
2. Older than people usually think
3. Had a warrior cats phase

Make three "we" statements that are true with yourself and CYS. For instance, "We both feel..."
Man didn't we answer this one already?
1. We both value brutal honesty in writing feedback over an attempt to appease the writer's feelings.
2. We both have a preference for interactive modes of fiction.
3. We both enjoy talking about thinking about writing

What, if anything, is too serious to be joked about?
In the right context, any subject can be joked about. Generally speaking, "kicking down" is something you should avoid among strangers or in public, since it usually just comes across as mean-spirited. Deliberately using humor as a weapon to hurt someone else is never okay.

- Person 2 -

Before making a telephone call, do you ever rehearse what you are going to say? Why?
Obviously, I have a crippling fear of social rejection.

What does friendship mean to you?
Less than nothing.

- Person 3 -

What would constitute a "perfect" day for you?
I'm in a tropical wonderland filled with flowers and I dont have to worry about work

What is your secret hunch about how you will die?
I'd kill myself and not realize it, like accidentally falling onto an upright knife and having it accidentally go through my corpus callosum and render me split brained.

If you could wake up tomorrow having gained any one quality or ability, what would it be?
I would either do a hot mom or have the ability to rizz

- Person 4 -

What would constitute a "perfect" day for you?
Wake up feeling like p diddy, have a breakfast of bacon, eggs, and french toast, play some sort of video game for a few hours, read for a few hours, then eat lunch, which would be a medium rare home-cooked burger with onion, tomato, a couple doritos, and a piece of melted cheese, with some loaded fries on the side. After lunch, straight to the gym for an hour of bench press and arm curls. Then, shower, and to a homie's house, or on a hike or something. When I get back, it should be the early evening, and I can invite the gf over, smoke a fat joint, and enjoy some ribs and ice cream, followed by---you can fill in the gaps, you horny bastard.

Name three things you and CYS appear to have in common.
We're both Gen Z, we're both a little lame-looking, but with a good personality, and we both LOVE SLURS!!!

If you knew that in one year you would die suddenly, would you change anything about the way you are now living? Why?
I would start doing more drugs because I won't feel the lasting consequences of my actions. I would also commit more crimes and see if I could get away with crimes of increasing magnitude.

What does friendship mean to you?
Someone who's fun to hang out with, enjoys similar activities to me, and is there to help me mentally and emotionally. Also, gym.

Tell the CYStian of the last question what you like about them; be very honest this time, saying things that you might not say to someone you've just met.
Uwu *nuzzles you playfully* what a nice bulgey-wulgey (cameltoe) you have there OwO

- Person 5 -

What would constitute a "perfect" day for you?
> get assfucked by ford
> lay on ground trembling from the biggest orgasm ever
> get up, cuddle and make out while watching movies
> more fucking, in all holes
> sleep next to ford lovingly

What is your secret hunch about how you will die?
death by suffocating on fords massive dick

Is there something that you've dreamed of doing for a long time? Why haven't you done it?
meeting ford irl and giving him the nastiest, sloppiest blowjob imaginable

Spit and cum everywhere oh my god

- Person 6 -

Would you like to be famous? In what way?
Not particularly, but if I must, I'd rather it be for an accomplishment like writing. And I'd want it to be under an alternate identity, so if anyone wishes to stalk or threaten me, they'll waste their time on a ghost.

What is your secret hunch about how you will die?
It'll hopefully be fast and nondescript, but given the insanity of my life, I'm afraid it'd be more mysterious and unnatural. Fingers crossed I don't end up on unsolved mysteries.

Make three "we" statements that are true with yourself and CYS. For instance, "We both feel..."
This sounds like something from therapy. Or a cult. We both feel as though we've accumulated enough members to evolve into a collective hivemind in which we perform the bidding of our high and mighty rulers. We both feel as though we've joined into one being, and every thought that crosses one's mind will permeate the other's. We both feel that any tangible or mental separation shall no longer exist as long as we remain in harmony with one another, transforming the atmosphere around us with the essence of our souls.

Tell the CYStian of the last question what you like about them; be very honest this time, saying things that you might not say to someone you've just met.
I'm going to pick someone random. Darius, I like your analytical mind and how you can delve past the surface of writing to reveal its insides like clockwork parts. I like the darkness of your writing and how it feels as though a disastrous event lurks around the corner, waiting to ensnare your characters.

Tell a CYStian you don't know very well something that you like about them.
Mizal, I like how you know when to put your foot down, but you also encourage people when you see they possess potential. I was one of those people, and your words stuck with me for years. You boosted my confidence and pushed me further down this path of writing.

- Person 7 -

Tell your life story in as much detail as possible in four minutes or less.
When I was a lot younger, like 3-6, I mostly was either outside playing in the dirt and woods or inside being taught how to read and do math. I also have had really bad asthma and had to go to the hospital a lot up until I was about eight. Up until I was nine, I would spend all of my time doing schoolwork because if you got a certain amount of work done(this would take around 1.5-2 hours) then you could play on the family ipad for thirty minutes. In my mind then, this was the best deal ever. I also experienced my first family members dying. Not fun. We got a goldfish when I was 10 by accident(long story, my dad was pretty mad about this one) and we still have it to this day. Covid hit when I was in fifth grade and then I was stuck inside all day. Thankfully, my dad was never in the house. Unfortunately, my mom also wasn't so I had to take care of my brother and get him to actually go to class while I was in mine. Odds were that he would tell the teacher that his internet wasn't working, log off the zoom, and then go play video games. Then, if he got bad grades, it was my fault. I found CYS when I was in sixth grade. Now I'm here. Other stuff had happened in the last few months, but I really don't want to talk about that.

What is the greatest accomplishment of your life?
I just got my brown belt in kung fu back in December. That seems small, but I put in a lot of work for that thing. Three hours a night almost every night for five years, plus outside of the kwoon training.

What is your most treasured memory?
This isn't my most treasured memory, but it's definitely one of my favorites. It takes a sentence or two of backstory for it to make sense. Anyway, before covid, there was this one dude who taught the intermediate kids class. He was the most intimidating person you would ever meet. At least, to a 9-10 year old he was. Everybody was terrified of him. Now that I think about it, he never actually did anything even remotely terrifying, but everybody was dead scared of him. When I say everybody, I mean everybody. We were all super well behaved when he was in the room. Anyway, covid hit and I hadn't seen him for about three years. Then, one day I started seeing him in classes occasionally, and even three years later I still had the instinct to straighten my posture and stop joking around when I saw him or heard his voice from the other room. You could see that everyone who had been in his class did the same, and thinking about it now it's actually really funny. So one day we were splitting up into cars to carpool to a place that we had to go to for a demo, and he's one of the drivers. Well, as luck would have it, me and two other people who were absolutely terrified of him were put into his car. Now, we were sitting there for about 5 seconds in silence before he started talking. To put this in perspective, he had never talked to us. He was just generally a quiet person. Now, however, he starts talking about some tiny little details in history and it turns out that he is the biggest history nerd ever. It's really funny. That was just something that shocked me because this person who I had been scared of for so long was really just a nerd. Now we're not exactly friends, but we talk about books sometimes.

- Person 8 -

Would you like to be famous? In what way?
I would like to be famous enough that people would pay me to just be famous.

What would constitute a "perfect" day for you?
Sex in the morning, smoke when I want it, food provided without me having to do anything, no pending deadlines

Tell your life story in as much detail as possible in four minutes or less.
Born with unknown blood disease. Nearly died from milk allergy. Nearly died in a car wreck. Nearly broke my neck falling up a flight of stairs, just split open my chin instead, 12 stitches. Got run over on my bike and nearly died. Have been hit by deer while driving three times. Nearly died getting my appendix removed. Was a professional freelance developer from 16. Familiar with 16 programming languages, fluent in five. Have been married for 21 years. Have been a Project Manager for seven years.

Make three "we" statements that are true with yourself and CYS. For instance, "We both feel..."
We both feel that writing is a positive creative outlet
We both feel that people who flake on things they say they will do should be punished
We both feel that CYS is worth growing and contributing too

Who are your least-liked CYStians and why?
I'm pretty new, so there are a lot of people that I haven't interacted with. Celicni is the most acerbic person I have engaged with, but even so they are aren't that bad.

- Person 9 -

What is the greatest accomplishment of your life?
Got into med and I'm not Darius

List five positive characteristics about the CYS community. (can be about individuals as well)
Honesty
Autistic in a good way
Jerry
Tight
Enduring

- Person 10 -

Name three things you and CYS appear to have in common.
Both CYS and I enjoy having freedom when it comes to what you say (even if there are second chances which I am grateful for). There's a place for everyone here, if one chooses to fight for it at least.

I also think that I have a similar taste when it comes to what's good writing and what isn't. Just reading comments I tend to be inclined to agree (especially whenever it's critiques against me).

Also, I like that we all have to work to maintain our position within the community. I may be on the bottom of the ladder, but that doesn't mean I'll stay there forever. Meritocracy is the word that comes to mind when I think of the power structure of this site.

Tell your life story in as much detail as possible in four minutes or less.
It's not that wxciting of a story to be honest. I moved every two years, had trouble connecting with people until the end of middle school, and not being able to stand up for myself a lot. I've gotten past all of that and now have a good job and am laying the foundation for my career as an author. Yes. I do plan on publishing. If anyone wants to know more about me, they need only ask.

List five positive characteristics about the CYS community. (can be about individuals as well)
-Active (a lot of writing communities aren't so it's a very important factor)
-Accepting but unyielding (You are, because either wise you would've banned Morgan by now)
-Honest (the reviews and critiques are direct)
-Disillusioned (yall don't take anything at face value and really dive in)
-Forgiving. People like me get second chances.

- Bonus Contestant -
Questions omitted

Gay
Cock
Balls
Pee
Anus
Shit
Poop
Tits
Honkers
Vagina
Pussy
Bussy
Gigantic throbbing dick
Sandy Cheeks Cockvore
Necrophilia
Incest
Pedophillia
Ephebophillia
Hebophillia
Sex
Fucking
Smashing
Penetrating
Blowjob
Handjob
Jerking it
Masturbation
Fap
Shlicking
Schlop Schlop
Ford is a faggot
I like men
My anus is bleeding
MY ANUS... IS... BLEEDING
Whore
Slut
Bitch
Horse

---

Submit your guesses below or something. If you think I revealed too much - keep in mind, that form was submitted to Ford.

1 - wizzy
2 - tcat
3 - darius
4 - noob
5 - 95% enter on an alt, 5% thara. by evidence of using spaces after greentext >'s which is a newfag thing to do and thara is no newfag. also enter uses the word assfucked more than anyone else.
6 - rando
7 - rando
8 - could be anybody really
9 - enter on his main account
10 - cringe

bonus - one of the tweens

I'm 99% sure whoever was talking about abge was stargirl.

Also person 10 reminded me of Ace but they didn't respond saying they finished it.

As I already stated in the discord, only noob faggots did your questionnaire, so it wasn't me.

I am disgusted that you are saying there's a chance of it being me. 

Please get into a fistfight with a moving semi-truck on the highway.

Also please report to me the results of said fight afterwards.

I'm really interested who the fuck person 8 is, since we have a lot in common.

We both got hit by cars, we're both developers (though person 8 is obviously MILES better than me), and we both hate me.

I'd almost think it was maz if it wasn't for that "I'm new" bit.

-

The assfucked by ford person is obviously Ford himself, and the bonus person is the most sane person here for not wasting so much time on this stupid fucking thing.