Christmas had come to CYStia once more, with presents and cheer and jolly galore.
But one little denizen was not so happy, who saw the season as nothing but crappy.
Sherbet had worked a long day as a factory man, working tediously putting labels on soda cans.
So much joy irked him, after a day so long, his busy drive home was even plagued with Christmas songs!
"Bah humbug!", he said, "Damn Christmas traffic! I can't wait to get home!"
But little did he know, he would not be alone.
An angel had been waiting for him to arrive, and under his porch this angel did hide.
His name was Sentinel, and if he wanted his wings, he'd have to take Sherb out to do Christmas things.
This was his second chance, since last time he died. But if he didn't get his wings, it would hurt more than his pride.
"Look buddy," Sent said, "It's been a long day, I can tell. But if you don't get cheery, we're both going to Hell."
"Hell's real?" Sherb asked as Sent dragged him by the tie. "Yeah," Sent replied, "Now get in the car, because I can't fly."
The angel took the wheel, with Sherb out of his senses, disoriented thinking of the afterlife's consequences.
"Where are we going?" Sherb asked, and Sent said "Let's start from the top. Newbie Central, where we all start, is gonna be our first stop."
The two had arrived, and just in time to see, a gaggle of noobs as happy as can be!
They had all just arrived, full of whimsy and joy, and hadn't yet found a mod to annoy.
"Look at them," Sent said, "Such cheer and fest! Can't you feel it?" he asked, but Sherb was unimpressed.
"I hate noobs! They're so obnoxious!" He shouted, beating one bloody. As the others ran in fear, Sent sighed, "This is gonna be cruddy."
Dragged back to the car, Sent once again drove, with Sherb in the back feeling hot as a stove.
"That made me feel worse! You suck at your job!"
"That'd hurt a lot more if you weren't such a knob."
"I'm so going to Hell..." Sherb lamented, with head in his hands. But Sent said, "Don't worry, I have another plan."
Soon, they arrived, and Sent had explained, "How about a place with glory to be gained?"
The THUNDERDOME loomed ahead, and Sent brought the hype, "This is just the place to cheer up your type!"
"What's that supposed to mean?" Sherb asked, incredulous. "Uh, site veterans!" Sent lied, "The dutiful and sedulous!"
"There was a Christmas prompt a few weeks back," Sent said, "Let's see if there's a cheery story to be read!"
But once the two had entered the dome, all they found was Mizal, ringing a bell, alone.
"What the hell? Where's the stories?" Sent asked in disbelief. Miz sighed and replied, "No votes for three weeks."
She continued, "If nobody votes, then no one can win..." But after a moment, she suddenly grinned.
"You two can vote! Just place them right here!" She held up an empty bin, with incredible cheer.
After a minute of silence, she was no longer merry. She pulled out a glock and said "Vote.", because in Texas you can conceal carry.
The two ran from the dome, with bullets whizzing by their heads, and drove off in Sherb's car before they ended up dead.
"This is the worst Christmas ever, just take me home you freak!"
"Sheesh, alright..." Sent replied, pinching the nose of his beak.
As they arrived at Sherb's house, Sherb got out, and Sent followed with a yell, "Don't you care that you're going to go to Hell?!"
"Enough! I've had it! I'm already here! Christmas sucks, and so do you, you █████!"
And so, in a rage, with his anger arisen, Sherb used GOBLIN MAGIC to trap Sent in a tiny prison.
Stuck in a snowglobe, Sent pounded on the glass. "What the hell, you GRINCH! Let me out so I can kick your ass!"
After such a long day, and for a long time in a while, this was a Christmas that had Sherb smile.
He didn't want joyous gatherings, or a Christmas-themed read, the anguish of a trapped angel was all that he'd need.
And with that, Sherb had regained Christmas joy. For if Christmas never existed, he wouldn't have this new toy.
And Sent did get his wings, even though he was stuck. His immediate thoughts were that God is a sick fuck.
And this brings an end to this Christmas tale. What was the lesson of this wondrous regale?
The only lesson here is one that's very small: Sent will be made to suffer if MHD is given alcohol.
Merry Christmas, everyone.
