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CYS is burning down, and AlexP forgot to pay the monthly bill to the  private firefighters again. This means that nobody's putting out the fire. Fortunately, you're out safely, and you have time to save one member. 

If there were a deadly fire and you could only save one CYS member, who would it be? 

Discuss. 

Thara.

Next question.

Steve- Because of his amazingly written stories and although sometimes aggressive, but good attitude.

Mizal- Because of her motivation for others and herself. She's also pretty nice.

Zag- Because of niceness and devotion to projects.

Sentinel- Because of funniness and creativity.

I can't decide.

Don't let these adorable penguin eyes melt over and over again in your survivor-guilt nightmares! Don't you think for one second that I won't haunt you, because I will! I'll open your refrigerator doors and tip over your glasses of orange juice and shit!

Congratulations, you burn to death because of your lack of willlpower and crippling indecision. Good fucking job, Hamlet. 

But what if I sacrifice myself but save 2 people? Would that work?

No. Stop testing the boundaries of my hypothetical ethics question. 

Sorry.

Mason. You know there's only one right answer to this hypothetical ethics question.

I would put forth all of my effort in saving End of course. But I feel like it'll be the other way around for some reason.

I'd try to save Tim, but then he'd believe he could save himself. And then he'd offer me his saviourship, and I'd try to explain how that wasn't the way that it works, but then he'd argue that he would be able to be the best fire-escaper there ever was, and we'd argue there for a few weeks, he'd, for some reason, decide to rescue Madhattersdaughter, who jumped into the burning building just to spite me, and I'd end up having to throw myself into the fire and burn to death just to make sure Tim gets saved and Steve doesn't win the election.

Can confirm.

Don't forget the unicorn that tried to save itself but it's homosexual companions dragged it back into the fire.

Oh, geez. This is hard. I haven't really gotten close to anyone on this site. I'll save Mason, I guess.

I'll save you now, I guess. Now that our home is burned, though, we can make a small little shack and use Sent's burnt body as firewood.

I'm sorry sent :(

Deal.

I'll always be there, Mason. Spiting your decision with obnoxious inconveniences from beyond the grave Watching over you at appropriate moments.

IAP. Will's been revealed to be a pedo, Blindy will blame me, Axiom will spend large durations of us watching the place burn not talking to me as I wonder why, Mizal's such a lazy cunt I doubt she'd get out even with my help, End's creepy as fuck, 3J's a literal retard with no understanding of what makes a movie good and Klam's clearly going to do something gross as fuck like play with his shit, and those are pretty much the only bastards on the site I can stand to be around for more than a few minutes. I feel IAP will just get me ice cream for saving him and that'd be nice.

I would light a cigarette off the burning building and say something about rebuilding on the ashes, then probably feel like a dumbass and walk away knowing I ruined a great chance at a memeroble one liner.

End, reasons explained below

Step 1: Have End harvest the souls of every site member (it's about as believable as an online site being on fire) while the fire is going down.

Step 2: Extricate End

Step 3: Pray he doesn't banish all the souls in his keep, and transplants them into new shells. Convince him we can make millions by preventing people from being stuck in limbo and charging a resurrection fee from the newly saved

Profit

This, dear Cystians, is the correct answer.

Kumquat, because a person who takes the time to click on the daily point every day for 8 years deserves to be saved. 

That's a pretty good choice. 

Nah, he updated his profile.

If I can only save one member, then I will die if I save anyone other than myself...

*Jumps out window*

... Eh... I'd probably save Sent or Zag, because Chris most likely started the fire and is long gone.

If it came between the two, though, probably Zag, so that he can draw a comic of me desperately trying to save everyone, and not whine about how he could've totally won the election.

If there were such a thing as Alt History communities made exclusively for obscure personal fictions, there would be more books about all the different ways I could've won that election than there are about how the Axis could've won World War 2. Except i would be the good guy, and I probably actually could've won the election.

I only did that once or twice! And Zag was going to vote for me!

So you're telling me that, if I saved you from this theoretical fire, you'd never bring up the election again?

Less than Zag would.

Which still would be a lot, because he'd be reminiscing about all the memories he had with the dead people, but I'd still do it less.

I'd probably draw comics for all of them too. And fill a bucket of tears for each one. I'd probably have two buckets for Steve, though.

Promise to draw a comic of the election, so Tim will be forced to save me, okay? Can't save this country if I'm burned to the ground with it.

i hardly remember much of that mess and it already got deleted curse you jjj for not picking out and saving the good things of that forum its going to be kinda hard to recreate

It's totally fine to rewrite history.

i mostly remember beardon getting banned as moe lester and jimmy being pretty cool and you winning

...

...

Yes, let's go with that, Zag. Sent won the election. I like the sound of that. That's good thinking right there.

No need for a comic then. I'll just draw a picture.

Do you have any references for drawing Sent? What should I put in the background?

You should draw the sci-fi toga-wearing utopia that would surely result from a Sent presidency, of course.

I don't have any real references, since everything I draw is basically an amalgam of cartoon symbols that people understand as coherent images for some reason.

got it

I'm getting 1984 vibes from all these malquotes and misprints.

I'd save Lick because they're the only one that's made me laugh thus far.

Oh, what sweet words!

I'd save Minnie, because it's fun talking to him, and hardly anyone else talks to me anyway.

*Tears of joy*

Well then, i'd save Nycto because he's literally the only person who cared enough to put my name in this thread. Thank you Nycto ;-;

Anytime, my dude.

Yes, but my name was not mentioned. Also, my ego hasn't been fed today.

Man, I don't wanna be a zombie and then pay for being resurrected.

Well, it's either that or dying as per the current quandary. To twist Dark Knight - You either die and stay dead, or live and possibly wish you weren't. In the latter case, well, I don't think End's found a way to collect on debts in the afterlife yet, so the first is always an option after taking the second, ergo you'll always want to be revived.

Plus, you wouldn't be a zombie so much as a Ghost in the Shell as in Ghost in the Shell.

Well, I mean, it'd be a waste to kill yourself after paying to be revived. I think I'd rather stay dead. After all, if I couldn't get myself out of that fire that Mizal and/or Chris started, well, fuck. That's just the way it is.

Also, I've never seen Ghost in the Shell.

How would a website catch fire??

Firewall breaks down, fire gets in.

Make an alt and enjoy the show.

So far I'm winning in this one as well.

Winning at what, may I ask?

Thara and Stryker said they'd save me from the fire. Which means I got more votes than anyone else here so far, so I'm WINNING. 

It was actually more like Bad touch Kiel. 

Actually I don't care so much as I'm just sort of on a roll with proving Steve wrong in the other thread and now I'm being obnoxious in Malk's thread with his constant stream of weird "Would you rather" like questions that he proposes a lot at the Villain Lair.

Did Steve think CYS was full of right-wing people?

He figured the place had a more conservative/right wing bent, yes.

So, he held that view even after Fazz came with his political standings test?

To be fair, I have a tendency to conflate homophobic, religious or anyone I don't like with right wing.

He may have come to the conclusion that disagreement with Steve is synonymous with stupidity, and a lot of people here are stupid. Granted, a lot of the people who disagree with Steve are stupid, but not all crayons are blue.

Untrue. I've yet to find a single person who disagrees with me yet isn't stupid.

I'm only stupid on thursdays.

As I already said, I would save Nycto. If he was already dead or something, i'd go with End.

He still wouldn't adopt you in both scenarios.

I know... I know... :(

But i'm allowed to have dreams.

Good idea, DAT ASS will protect you from the fire.

@mizal Thanks babe. 

Holyshit, I thought those only existed in the storybooks! I heard everyone online was actually a forty year old man trying to steal your balls or something.

You're telling me, I read a novel on the shit.

@mizal Yes, hello I am alive and well, unfortunately. 

Coins' mom is the only ass I'd be saving.

Is the question even relevant in 2017?