Player Comments on Dragon Ages

The premise was cute, but regardless of which choices you make, the game just seems to end before it even begins. I hatch from an egg, leave the nest on the same day, make a new nest in a forest and... Grow fat and happy and die of old age, apparently. So all of the choices that dictated my whole life were made in a single day?

I think it could've been a lot better. Like I said, beginning the game as a newly hatched baby dragon has potential for a really cute story. You even have the opportunity to help one of your siblings hatch at the beginning of the game. Seeing a new born baby dragon playing and bonding with it's siblings could've been adorable! But instead, the sibling dragon just flies away as soon as it hatches, and you don't get to communicate with it at all.

It just seems like a waste really. You wrote a story about a new born baby dragon, and yet somehow, it still has no charm, no whimsy, no personality, and worst of all... No cuteness! It's a fucking baby animal, god damn it! I demand my baby animals to be cute! >.<

I didn't like it.

First of all, it was incredibly short and I noticed about one sentence per page halfway through, which leads me to believe you felt the need to rush it and publish it as soon as possible. Spend more time on your storygames, please.

There was really no branching, I saw that each page had about three links on them, but guess what? Only one of them would progress me in the game. Every path led to death one or two clicks in, or it would take me back a page. It's annoying, because this is Choose Your Story, not Try To Randomly Determine Which Link Won't Kill You.

It was badly fleshed out, I noticed almost no detail and the situations seemed quite illogical.

You need to put more effort into your storygames, because you want to make something you can be proud of. Reading this, I don't think you should be proud of it. This storygame can be fixed if you add more detail, an actual plot, a better setting, a longer storygame in general, etc.

2/8, try harder.

I like the fact that you have a unique story. I can't say I've seen sometone else with the main character being a baby dragon, newly hatched. But why does his life have to end at death- whatever happened to old age rather than murder to accident? I mean, I didn't see one of those endings, but I didn't go looking for them all.
Also, I notice that this rather lacks some realism. These newborn dragons don't really act like bumbling children- especially if they're already large enough to fly and eat people. And one more thing, I got the impression that in one of the endings, the dragon is shot by a gun. In the time of dragons, there are no firearms. It lacks historical integrity (if you can call medeival fantasy history). Once again, you had a really good idea to start with but no where to take it.

It’s so sort 5 pages! And the ending not gonna talk about that. The pages are even short. Do not recommend!!!

General Recommendation: I don't recommend this. The game takes the concept of being a baby dragon and does pretty much nothing with it.
Preview: How will your actions as a baby dragon affect the course of your life?

=SPOILERS BELOW=

General notes:
The basic problem here seems to be that the author didn’t care about the idea enough to make a playable game out of it. We have a concept; life as a young dragon, and a couple interesting ideas, such as interaction with a sibling dragon, and deciding where to make your dragon lair. These concepts are then handled in the shortest and least interesting way possible, with brief one-sentence descriptions that have pretty much zero impact on the course of the game.
The writing itself is incredibly short and undescriptive. Description tends not to matter much to me, but even I have my limits. For example, here’s an entire page: “You fly out of the valley through the pass. You come out into a desert. You can see a small outcrop of rocks to your left and a forest in the distance.” Okay, very short and uninteresting page, but beyond that, I’m missing vital information that I need to make my decision. What kind of desert? Rocky aridic desert, sand dunes, salt flats, what? What kind of forest, and how far away is it? Deciduous trees or pines? Is the “rocky outcrop” house-sized or a small mountain? There should be multiple paragraphs of information describing these locations and the potential costs and benefits of each one if it’s going to be the basis of a major decision for the player.
This game is also incredibly linear. There’s one “good” ending that you’re shuffled towards, and several death endings along the way. The “good” ending feels incredibly abrupt, one moment you’re settling into a potential lair as a hatchling, the next thing, this one decision has caused your entire life to be a success.
I’m left wondering what the author was trying to do here. It doesn’t seem like this game had a purpose it was even trying to fulfill.

Grammar
All good.
Mastery of Language
None, descriptions are underwritten and presented uninspiringly.

Mechanics & Coding
You can get into an infinite loop of eating the same fat villager.

Branching
None, this game is very linear.

Player Options/fair choice
Not good. Many of the death endings could just heave easily led to victory haad the author arbitrarily decided that this was the “true” path. Decision making is essentially random.

WRITING ADVICE:
I’m struggling to come up with writing advice more specific than “everything”. It’s clear that this idea didn’t mean enough to you to you to build a complete game out of it, so I guess the most basic advice would be to find an idea that actually means something to you and write that; not whatever idea you hope will appeal to an audience.

CONCLUSION: 1/8, and I’m surprised this game is as well-rated as it is. A recent game with a similar concept was unpublished for low ratings, and even that game had much more effort put into it than this one. I suppose site standards have increased a lot since 2011.

The idea was good, but the execution....

This could have been a lot better had it been longer. It also needs more detail and story. You kind of just blow past everything.

This felt like the Cupid shuffle only if you mess up you die. When your options are as in depth as to the right and to the left I can’t retain interest in your game I’m sorry.

Also the fact that it took me 5 minutes to finish is indicative that the author had an idea but didn’t execute it in a meaningful or interesting way. Even the death pages were boring. Oh no I got eaten by goblins. I’m a dragon! Even if I’m a baby one I could still French fry those little freaks!

I want to play as a fire breathing all conquering dragon not some wimpy baby dragon that dies after one wrong click. I don’t know what your goal was but cute baby dragon doesn’t mean good rating. You need depth to a story concept. I liked the premise but there’s to be more interesting plot threads with length and description not just you hatch and you are dead.

Dragons are a common fantasy trope but there are ways to make them interesting and unique if done right. This was not nearly long enough nor descriptive enough to get the narrative where it needs to be.

I mean, Yeah it’s decent but really, just really, It ENDED IN FIVE PAGES.
Personally I have no problem with this game, but it’s length annoys me so much, I’m making a dragon game and it’s supposed to be brief, but its longer than this somehow!

Very good! love it but I would like if you could get a mate and eggs.

A short little roundup that leaves me craving cheesecake.

It could use some more work, but its decent

boring on all level

my friend led me into my death

As always spoilers ahead so be warned.

I actually liked the idea of playing a dragon very much. It could have made for some great interactions with the world around you. Seeing how a dragon would grow from a weak small baby to an apex predator without much to fear.

The story was sadly very short and not even very descriptive. You simply get born leave your nest and find death either by violence or magic or some natural reason.

There was no chance to actually interact with the people of the village or with your brother (or sister?) you free from the nest. This could have ended in so many different and better ways. I for example imagine a scenario where you could be forced to serve a evil wizard or end up in something like Eragon just from the view of the dragon instead of the man.

So all in all it was a nice and very innovative, but the execution of the idea was quite lacking in may aspects. Thats why I rated 2/8.

I wished they had more options. But I really like it

Okay, I played it again, and since I knew what not to do, I liked it a lot more than I did before.

It’s olay. I rated it a four because it could be longer, and maybe you could describe what you look like? Or the dragon you break out becomes your friend. That would be fun!!!

The premise was cute. I enjoyed playing from the perspective of a dragon. I would've liked to see more opportunities to be social; the only good ending I found is one in which you isolate yourself from all other living beings. If you try to interact with one of the humans, he kills you. I would also recommend including more text on each individual page. Good effort.

Horrible.

It was kinda boring. I barely got to interact with anyone. All I did was eat a fat man and die in a forest.

I loved it, except for one thing; it was TOO FLIPPING SHORT! Also, it had several loops that either took you back a step or killed you. It would not have such a negative influence on me had it been longer.

Why there are no ending where we met the other dragon and live happily togetherbas a family.

I don't know why, this is short BUT very enjoyable.
Firstly, the writing was decent. You wrote clearly about the character, and I guess its goal is to survive, so it was really fun. Despite being short, the grammar was great and made it even better.
You made the pages short enough to let me get interested in it. Usually when I see really long pages, I just feel lazy and doesn't read carefully. This time it's different. I read every word and enjoyed the story.
There were two to three real options, which wouldn't lead you back to the same place. I really appreciate that.
Overall, I see you put effort in it, and the idea was good. Rated 7/8

It was very good. Maby a few more endings would have been better.

best game Eva!!!!!

I feel like this is an okay story. Some grammar mistakes, I would look over before you post. Also isn't really engaging, none of your actions really seem to matter, or cause anything interesting to happening. It only kept my attention because I really freakin love dragons lol.

Don't complain a game is too short when you can see it's rated 1/8 for length.

It was a fairly simple game lacking in descriptions a bit but nice for a quick storygame.

This was way too short...

Simply too short.

I feel like it's much to short there is not a lack in choices just.... not long enough

Ehhhhhhhh. It was okay.

Best story Ive ever played 10/10 hope there will be a sequal.

Hi! This is the first story whatever I've rated!

I would like to say that I had a difficult time understanding why there weren't more choices in most of the situations. I chose the ending where I flew to the church, and I was kind of set on exploring the village, but I was forced to turn back.

Overall, I guess, it was fast- paced, and it was good for something to do in 10 minutes of free. Entertaining.

While it's an interesting concept, there wasn't much exposition, so knowing what was going on took a bit of imagination.

While this story had many of the basics in place it felt more like a test run than a complete story.

Apart from the length being so short it has little character development or plot. While I understand stories that develop these as you go and uncover more information for yourself, this didn't have enough pages or description to do this so it is all simply left to the imagination.

In future concentrate on drawing the writer in with more information on the character, plot or 'hook' early on to keep them interested, then broaden the story with more description and length.

There is nothing fun about this game. I beat it in under 20 seconds in my first try

It's alright:P

This was shit. Seriously, I've seen dogshit that looks better than this.

Not much of a plot...

Not "STRAIGHTFORWARD!" Get it? If you fly straight, you die. Really, it was too straightforward.

love it

1 word that path DEAD that path DEAD and goblins seriously....IM IN A DRAGONS LAIR AND IM IN A GOBLINS TERITORY.... BURN THIS STORY AND WATCH A LITTLE BABBY DRAGON BURN TO DEATH IN A VILLAGE

i chose forward, i die, the end ITS HORRIBLE on a scale 1 - 10, -999999999999999999999999

i die lots

BAD

One word: Short.

I liked it. I died when i didn't think i was going to but i liked it

that was sad, i went from a egg to a old dragon.

Do what you gotta do!

I want toooo play

I LOVE THIS GAME IT IS MY THING

Uh, sorry, it was quite boring.

TO SHORT!!!!!!!!!!

It's alright. Needs more choices.

I like it.

I LOVE IT SO MUCH!!!!!!

The writing is okay but you could add some sort of adventure. This was the entire story, you hatch, you explore, you die of old age.

This story is WAY too linear. It might be better if it was just written without choices. SPOILER ALERT, where it says "inevitable death" in the description is the only part that matters. Want to leave the cave via the left exit? Dead. Want to leave via the right exit? Dead. Want to stay in the presence of the priest? Dead. Attack the Caravan? Dead. Found a place to call home? DEAD. This story was a big disappointment for me.

If there was more to the game, it'd be perfect.

Super boring and far to short, should have given more options o3o

Why does the dragon have to die, this is stupid!

I like the point of view of being a dragon but when I ate the preacher I thought I was still a tiny baby dragon. Did I miss a part? Overall I like the story but I would like to see more description and also a ending with no death.

Wasn't too developed. Sort of entertaining, I suppose.

Hmmmmmmmm... Could be longer, and make some choices where you have more happiness and action. Otherwise, it's ok.

Good game... So far. I wish there was more to it then just dying of old age or something else. Make it longer. I like the idea though. Maybe be able to fall in love and have other dragon babies, or even make story going onto trying to survive the terrible drought. But the game is a good starting bases and has a great potential. Thanks for the enjoyable game.

Make it longer.

Pretty good

Eh...decent. Could be longer.

i found this to be a very insightful experience and it has triggered me

terrible

At first, I smiled to see a unique, and intriguing story. Then it rushed everything, The choices are not great, and the writing is lacking. Why would a newly hatched dragon have the same skills and thought as a grown dragon?

i dont get it at all the storyline makes no sense and there is no detail in it what so ever. The only reason its some what hard is because you have no idea whats going on.

This is crap

I loved the beginning, if only for the novelty of realizing that I was, in fact, a newly hatched baby dragon instead of a human. It would have been nice if the game was longer and had actually shown a progression of dragon-like life events, such as hoarding gold, terrorizing villages, finding a mate, fighting off knights - just throwing out ideas in a vain hope that you expand this. It was a great idea and I liked how it was executed, despite how short it was. The skimpy descriptions actually didn't bother me because, as a newborn dragon, I didn't expect the main character's thought processes to be particularly complicated or observant.

Still, the ending was very abrupt, and most of the choices were 'continue or die'. It felt like you ran out of patience and simply decided to truncate the routes where they ended rather than give the story proper development and closure.

Which was a crying shame, because I thought it had a lot of potential.

nice

You call this a story, i,m finding a new dragon story

Seriously

It has absolutely no choices to avoid death and is extremely short not very enjoyable

wow.

ouch. died at the three tunnels. I am not very good at this game but its fun.

In my opinion the idea was good. But how did the dragon know how to fly as soon as it was born? Also there is no developed storyline or developed anything really. It was just -click- -click- You died.

Looked like author was making hood story but just started giving up.

If it were longer, and the plot more developed, I would have been able to give it a higher rating. Sorry, dude, but I like a good, well developed story.

Cute story, I love dragons!

It was an interesting plot(being a newborn dragon), but i feel like it could used some work. In it you are a newborn dragon. So i don't understand how you whould feast on humans or cows.(my opinion)Whould have been interesting if the author had pursued this and worked on improving it.

pathetic

Choose your own boredom.

hard meh

Very minimal development. Kind of cute at first, but really could have been better with a plot.

I love dragons< so this is a good game for anyone who likes dragons

There's not really much of a plot, nor any defined characters. While creating a novella of a storygame was probably not your goal, the lack of depth to the story really affected my enjoyment.

There are a few specific problems I have with with the storygame. At times you could repeat choices that shouldn't be repeatable, such as going to the village and eating the man over and over again. There were also some confusing sentences that could have been fixed by proofreading your work (eg. "The cave the nest is in a cave which has three entrances to the caverns surrounding the nest.").

Cute concept, but the execution of it is rather weak. And I'm not fond of looping choices.

There was some effort here but the author clearly wasn't interested in crafting anything deep or worthwhile. There was no character depth or hook to keep me interested. In effect, it was too loose and underdeveloped. Definitely not a worthwhile piece of writing and the author should have put more time into developing the world and the protagonist.

Awhh! So cute!!! Even when he ate the guy, I was like... D'awh, look, he's hungry! ^_^

Great choose your own adventure.

Nice little story.

Short but very well done. I like how you described the part with the magic chant. I really liked this.

I love dragons! Maybe put in some more story though.

good concept yet short, dull, poor, and simply boring. Can I do my math homework instead? sheesh!

Eh. A bit too short. Not very interesting. Has potential though. Keep at it, expand this. Add some more choices. This needs a plot, the plot was almost nonexistent. Needs characters, and a goal to strive for. Nice start, but this feels more like a synopsis than a story.

Too short. Has potential if more work was put into it

Potential.

It holds potential! I like the writings, but maybe you should create a longer story with more options next time. Perhaps adding ways to battle other creatures or explore new places? Good job besides that. Dragons are awesome! 3/8

Not much to do/read. Also, I ate the same priest 5 times.

OK :-(

Better stay away from it!

I won

dumb

pointless

ok

Good, but short and a little pointless.

Short

It was alright, I wish it could have been longer because the ending is pretty predictable. But good for a first choose your own adventure!

i died early but ima retry and ill probab;y like this one

no offence but i'd seriously just do my science homework. there is 5000000000 ways to die! put a battle or something! nut a battle that someone can actually win at!

i love dragons very good make more dragon adventues

Uh, you always die unless I'm doing something wrong here, but there seems to be nothing outstanding. The story has a few pointless choices that do nothing but result in your death, in a rather brief and unexciting manner too.

I had to start over because a rock couldn't break an egg? No. 3/8

This story needs more depth, I feel like it's way too short. It's a very nice idea, just make sure you have detailed descriptions and some replayability. I know you had multiple paths, but they were vague or you just ended up going back a page to avoid something.

It was a great idea, but generally needed some work. There were some minor grammar and spelling mistakes, and generally too many ways to die. It kind of just forces you into reading it like a story, because the other choices aren't really choices, because they don't lead anywhere.

Basically already has been said by others what is wrong. I'm not sure I like it.

Bo dissaproves, feel the shame.

Not gripping or entertaining really. jkulibert and others already beat me to the critique but this doesn't do much for anyone. Work on plot, characterization and non-linearity.

It's a lot like Choice of the Dragon, but with no storyline, and your choices don't affect the story. Worth one playthrough, but no replay value.

i loved the plot, i didnt like that you weren't very discriptive and it seemed to me that you have cut it off at the end.

This reminds me of "Choice of Dragon" but this one's a really simpler and shorter version. It has few errors and I guess holes in the story but still a little fun and worth at least one playthrough.

there was some effort involved, but not quite enough. if there were a large number of different adventures you could have in this story, then it would be realy good. i was pleased with my first read through, but after reading it through a second time i became somewhat displeased. an Excellent first go.

Way to linear. everythin kills you, nad 2 endings that do not end wat too early.