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Draw My Attention (New Era)

9 years ago

It's a writing site for ******* sake, surely stories with plots, named characters and properly presented dialogue is not asking for much, it should be the minimum standard rather than something fan-fic writers, WC fans and the guy who likes Spiderman hope to be able to do one day :D - Will11

Having a comment featured (2 points)

Recommending a comment for featuring (1 point)
Recommending a user's excellent aid in the last six months for points (1 point)
Recommending a tag change for a storygame (1 point)
Recommending a storygame for movement to a different category (1 point)
Recommending a storygame for a change in maturity level or difficulty level (1 point for each)
Recommending a storygame for featuring (1 point)
Recommending a storygame for unpublishing (1 point)
Recommending a comment for deletion (1 poin
t)

So, in other words, if you go, right now, and find 5 storygames which are not properly tagged (there are literally dozens of these out there), then you'll get 5 points.

Catch #1:  To get points for recommending something, I have to agree with you. If you recommend a story for featuring and I don't feature it, then you don't get the points. This is to prevent people from gaming the system. Don't worry, for most of the above recommendations, you won't get rejected often if you follow proper procedure. (Except maybe on the "recommending for featuring.")

Catch #2:  Newly Created Storygames are not eligible point earners.  The original intent of this post was to find things we mods/admins had missed in older games. There is no point in spending our time removing comments, featuring comments, adding/removing tags, changing categories and maturity levels on a storygame that's going to be unpublished a week from now. Not to mention, we will almost always notice issues with newly created games without needing to be notified. 

Recommending a comment for featuring:

Reply to THIS thread to THIS post with:
- A hyperlink to the storygame
- The comment that you think deserves featuring (copy and paste it)
- The username of the person who wrote the comment (doesn't have to be the exact username, just enough so I understand who it is)
- If there are already 3 featured comments on the storygame, you also have to let me know whose comment you think should be replaced.
- If I agree, you will get 1 point and the person whose comment is featured will get 2 points. If you are reccomending your own comment, then you only get 2 points.

Note: No points are awarded for recommending/featuring comments on games that are soon to be unpublished.  It's a waste of time on a story that's going to be removed anyway.

Recommending a comment for deletion:

Reply to THIS thread to THIS post with:
- A hyperlink to the storygame
- The comment that you think deserves deletion (copy and paste it)
- The username of the person who wrote the comment (doesn't have to be the exact username, just enough so I understand who it is)

It has to either have spammy punctuation, flame the author, be completely incomprehensible, be a duplicate comment, or not actually be a comment (such as "..." or "poop" or something).  

Note: Do not recommend comments on Endmaster, madglee, or Tanstaafl's games for deletion unless they are spammy or deformed. Basically, they like to read their flamers so don't rob them of that.  
No points are awarded for recommending comments for deletion on games that are soon to be unpublished.  It's a waste of time on a story that's being cleared out anyway.

Recommending a user's aid in the advanced editor (post must be made in the last 6 months)

Reply to THIS thread to THIS post with:
- The user who provided the aid
- A hyperlink to the post where he provided the aid

Recommending a tag change for a storygame

Reply to THIS thread to THIS post with:
- A hyperlink to the storygame
- All of the tags you believe the story should have

Recommending a category change for a storygame

Reply to THIS thread to THIS post with:
- A hyperlink to the storygame
- The category you believe it should be in
- A short explanation of why

Recommending a change in maturity or difficulty level for a storygame

Reply to THIS thread to THIS post with:
- A hyperlink to the storygame
- The change you think should be made
- A short explanation of why

Recommending a storygame for featuring

 

Recommending a forum thread for deletion

Reply to THIS thread to THIS post with:
- A hyperlink to the thread
- A short rationale for why

Recommending a storygame for unpublishing

Reply to THIS thread to THIS post with:
- A hyperlink to the storygame
- A short explanation of why [specifically, you must describe how it fails to meet minimum site standards]

    • After receiving at least 7 ratings and being published for at least 1 week, the storygame is rated 1/8
    • After receiving at least 7 ratings and being published for at least 1 week, the storygame is rated 2/8 and its length is 1/8
    • The storygame has all of the following characteristics:
      • Grammar and style poor enough that it cannot be ignored
      • A plot which is poor or nonexistent
      • Poor pacing (usually characterized by frequent and unpredictable end game links)
      • A lack of important decisions
      • Unbelievable or overly cliched dialogue (if dialogue is present in the story)
    • The storygame has "dead" pages- pages with no links or way to proceed.
    • The storygame's central concept is pornographic in nature
    • The storygame is not a storygame and is instead intended to fulfill a goal such as communicating with another member (including all inside jokes) or advertising a product.
    • The storygame is explicitly described by the author as a "troll" game, or intentionally poor quality.
    • Any unfinished story rated 4 or less which has been published for over six months.
      • What qualifies a story as "unfinished?"

        1. Specifically stating in the description/text of the game that it is a "demo."

        2. Ending abruptly with a notice that it will be continued later.

        Games that say they are the first in a series are not automatically considered "unfinished." As long as the game itself is complete, even if the author never returned to write a sequel, it is not up for unpublishing.

         

If you don't follow protocol, either there will be no negative repercussions, you will be ignored, or I'll take your advice and not reward you with points. Following protocol expedites the process for me so I don't have to spend a lot of time making changes.

To summarize: post here (for the most part) with recommendations for who I should reward / what I should change and I'll reward you with points. Take a second to check the posts above you and see if someone else has already made the recommendation. Remember, newly created Storygames are not eligible for tag/category/comment points.

Draw My Attention (New Era)

9 years ago

Crisp, Clean, no Caffeine~  ^v^

Draw My Attention (New Era)

9 years ago

Recommending comment for deletion:

Lololololol
-- Bdawgiedawg on 2/16/2015 2:25:20 AM with a score of 0

Reason: Pointless comment.

On story The Cliche Adventures of a Generic Hero.

Draw My Attention (New Era)

9 years ago

Done~

Draw My Attention (New Era)

9 years ago

HOW DARE YOU MAKE FUN OF THE WARRIOR-CATS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I WILL GET YOU!!!!!! *a freaken' BAD ASS ANNA jumps threw the window* "I TOLD YOU I WOULD GET YOU!" *SLASHES THE AUTHER AND KILLS IT, MAKING SHURE THAT YOU MAKE NO MORE WARRIOR-CAT HATEING STORY GAMES TURN IN TO A BLACK SHE-CAT(girl cat) 
WHIT DARK BLUE EYES AND WHITE TIPPED EARS AND TAIL, AND WHITE PAWS. THEN JOINS A YELLOW TABBY TOM (boy cat) AND WALKS AWAY AS THE COPS COME* "Sunrisegaze? that evil two-leg will never see the next sun rise." ok, ok I had my fun but now I think even though that there where some spelling errors, I think that this was pretty good for a... what is this anyways? any way 5/10 (would have given you more if it weren't for that 'warrior-cat' comment at the end)LOL :D 

-- InkRose98 on 2/28/2015 8:01:07 PM with a score of 0



On "Adventures of a Generic Hero", just click on Chris' link.

Reason: Totally off topic.

Draw My Attention (New Era)

9 years ago

That comment was fucking hilarious.

Draw My Attention (New Era)

9 years ago

Saw that one too, but left it, as it does (sort of?) manage to get back on track by the end.

Draw My Attention (New Era)

9 years ago

But yeah... removing it after all~

Draw My Attention (New Era)

9 years ago

Damn WC, glad I dumped them after the war.

Draw My Attention (New Era)

9 years ago

... ... Wtf was that?

Draw My Attention (New Era)

9 years ago

Un-published The Holiday Out for failing to meet Minimum Site Standards and Spamming the 8 Rating and Comments.

Draw My Attention (New Era)

9 years ago
Recommending a coment for delition:

hrt mpt9n r rt6 btju uj

-- gng on 7/4/2015 12:41:31 PM

and:

dat death kno

-- nightslackerALT on 2/23/2015 12:29:37 AM

in:
http://chooseyourstory.com/story/can-anybody-escape~3f

Explanation: I'm blind, but other people also probably can't see any meaning in this, heh.

Draw My Attention (New Era)

9 years ago

Sir, it would be an honor and a privilege to high-five you for that last line.

Draw My Attention (New Era)

9 years ago
Heh, if you were saying that to me, then thanks (and I'm female, by the way, hahaha).

Draw My Attention (New Era)

9 years ago

Draw My Attention (New Era)

9 years ago
Damn, forgot that, sorry.

Draw My Attention (New Era)

9 years ago

No worries.  Just helping you get your point(s).

Draw My Attention (New Era)

9 years ago

Agree. Comments Removed, Points Awarded~

Draw My Attention (New Era)

9 years ago

Thanks!  I wasn't expecting anything, but am appreciative.  :)

Draw My Attention (New Era)

9 years ago
*writes somewear where she can remember* "next time, try to forget to make ok links yourself, so you can give people free points!) no, siriusly thanks for help, Will remember to make links next time, heh.

Draw My Attention (New Era)

9 years ago

Most of these are probably just my opinions, but... Oh well.

Category Change for: Thorn's Life in RuinClan

From: 'Fantasy Adventure'
To: 'Fan Fiction'

Reason: It's a Warrior Cats Storygame. Warriors is a book series made by Erin Hunter, and this is a Fanfiction based on it.

Category Change for: The Cat Battle

From: 'Fantasy Adventure'
To: 'Fan Fiction'

Reason: While most of it is about a cat escaping from humans, it does mention clans and WC names at the end... As well as WC terms, like "twolegs". The whole reason the cat was captured in the first place was because of an "invasion by humans", with the cat being from a clan. I'm not exactly sure about this one needing a category change, but just putting it out there.

Comment Deletion for: Wild Warrior Cat

Best I have ever done so far. But I wish there would be more action after I have kits. Maybe a river clan fight that kills my kits? =^.^=

-- stormpelt on 9/18/2014 2:29:36 AM

Reason: Duplicate comment. There are two of the same thing.

Comment Deletion for: You are warrior cat!

The author and game are retarted.

-- Matt on 8/24/2014 8:52:11 PM with a score of 74190

Reason: A bit flamey, and they didn't even spell "retarded" properly... It's also pointless, except for the fact that it insults someone.

Comment Deletion for: wARRIOR CAts! Waareiors who r cats: Another catwarrior joins the CLan

DUDE WHAT THE HELL?????????!!!!!!!!! YOU ARE NOT GOOD AT THIS!!!!!!! PLEASE DON'T EVER WRITE ANOTHER EVER AGAIN!!!!!!!!!

-- Silvermoon on 7/12/2014 4:52:32 PM

Reason: Spammy punctuation, slightly flamey, and completely off-topic... Though it is a bit funny.

Comment Deletion for: wARRIOR CAts! Waareiors who r cats: Another catwarrior joins the CLan

It's ugly, just like your face.

-- Wolfmist on 12/18/2014 8:36:35 PM

Reason: ... I'm sure you already know...

Draw My Attention (New Era)

9 years ago

Agreed~ CHA-CHING!

Draw My Attention (New Era)

9 years ago

xD  That last one ...

Draw My Attention (New Era)

9 years ago

Recommending a Storygame for Category Change

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/zombie-survival-guide-game-part-1~3a-weapons

To quote the introduction:

"This storygame is meant as a companion to Max Brooks’ The Zombie Survival Guide: Complete Protection from the Living Dead, to see if readers of that book retained its knowledge (or to see if you would survive a zombie apocalypse never having read it). Consider that book the course text, and this storygame the exam."

As it is related to the book, it seems like may be changed to Fanfiction.

However, I think that the way it plays out and the way certain things act like correct answers and other incorrect answers may make it better to fit into Everything Else as a Quiz.

Either way it is not really a good fit in Horror since it is based off a real life work and it feel quiz like.

Recommending a tag change for a storygame

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/zombie-survival-guide-game-part-1~3a-weapons

Currently has Horror, Part of Series, Zombie, and Post-Apocalyptic Tags

Recommended added tag: Quiz

 

Draw My Attention (New Era)

9 years ago

Category change, not really feeling it. Tag Change, sure.

Draw My Attention (New Era)

9 years ago

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/zombie-survival-guide-game-part-1~3a-weapons

Add Tags

  • fan-fic
  • quiz

It's based off a book, and it's a quiz on said book.

Draw My Attention (New Era)

9 years ago

There is no Fan-Fic Tag and NightBirdBlue beat you to the Quiz Tag.

Draw My Attention (New Era)

9 years ago

Then change the category to Fan-Fic, perhaps?
 

Draw My Attention (New Era)

9 years ago

Read the post directly above yours.  XD

Draw My Attention (New Era)

9 years ago

Recommending a category change for Do you Know the Classics? from School-Based to Everything Else.

It's a quiz and doesn't take place in a school.

Draw My Attention (New Era)

9 years ago

Done~

Draw My Attention (New Era)

9 years ago

Switched As Kits 1 was unpublished for failing to meet Minimum Site Standards.

Draw My Attention (New Era)

9 years ago

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/you-are-warrior-cat~21

Oh...my...god. That is simply all I can say. 

This must be your first time creating storygames. You DELETE the bit that says "This is a new page" and stuff like that. OK? Your so dumb you probably don't even get this.

You tried to make it funny. Well, that was a total FAIL! 

Please never make a storygame again. You are only bring people hell.

-- Guest on 6/13/2015 11:09:20 AM with a score of 100533

No matter how bad the story was, this comment is still rude. And yes, the storygame was that bad.

 

 

Draw My Attention (New Era)

9 years ago

This is a game where the author is OK with such comments (the only exception being those, where the word 'retarded' is misspelled).  ;)

Draw My Attention (New Era)

9 years ago

You lie. That story was phenominal

Draw My Attention (New Era)

9 years ago

You can only understand how beautiful and amazing that story is when you hate WC with a passion.

Draw My Attention (New Era)

9 years ago

I couldn't get past year 15(which is only a few pages in).. I just couldn't do it.. my level of frustration at this story.. it just sapped me of my zeal for reading today. I don't really understand why it's a 5/8, are people just being nice or are they actually enjoying this? 
I've made a mental note to avoid anything written by this author.

-- Hizoku on 6/30/2015 4:08:58 AM

Posted on Enigma by JamesValkyrie. Seriously- this comments does not give any advice or help in any way. It's just mean, especially the red part. I recommend this for deletion.

Draw My Attention (New Era)

9 years ago

It's ... related to the story, though, and it's not necessarily flaming the author on a personal basis. S/he is just saying they really don't like the game to the point that they don't intend to read any other games by its creator. It's not even all that mean considering some of the things written here.

Draw My Attention (New Era)

9 years ago

Yeah, that comment doesn't warrant removal.

(extraneous highlighting however...)

Draw My Attention (New Era)

9 years ago

True, true. And yeah, I was awfully overzealous with the highlighting (oops). Sorry about all that.

Draw My Attention (New Era)

9 years ago

Please delete this storygame:

"All the Wonderful Words Kids Should Know"

Edutainment by DaFuck

?It is only one page and had a maturity rating of 1/8 and the tag "Geared for Children." All it is, however, is the instructions for kids to tell their parents profanity, which is clearly listed. There are no links.

 

Draw My Attention (New Era)

9 years ago

Sorry, never mind. It's unpublished.

Draw My Attention (New Era)

9 years ago

Worth Deleting anyway - Done.

Draw My Attention (New Era)

9 years ago

Difficulty change for the following game:

Cross a Canyon

Everything Else by 11302

As the description will tell you, there are eight objects to use to cross a canyon. There are no other links and just those nine pages. Common sense makes it pretty easy to see how to cross the canyon (uh oh, shooting myself with a cannon didn't work, but a jet did! Who woulda known...)

The difficulty right now is 5/8. I recommend 2/8.

Draw My Attention (New Era)

9 years ago

Hyperlinks, mothafucka!

Draw My Attention (New Era)

9 years ago

Draw My Attention (New Era)

9 years ago

^only the first one's free ;)

Draw My Attention (New Era)

9 years ago
I'm just here to help...and sometimes get a free point before a deletion. ;)

Draw My Attention (New Era)

9 years ago

^Agreed.

PS - Crap. Misspelled 'Difficulty' in the Admin-Bonus section...

Draw My Attention (New Era)

9 years ago

Haha, I forgot about that game! I hate myself for making that...

Draw My Attention (New Era)

9 years ago

Life of a wild cat  (Oops, seems it is just at the minimum now).

Unicorns and Coins (advanced practice)

Both unpublished for failing to meet minimum site standards.

Draw My Attention (New Era)

9 years ago

Delete this game, please:

You are warrior cat!

Fan Fiction by MoonRiverPaw15

This is most definitely a troll game. It makes zero sense. What is this? Why?

Draw My Attention (New Era)

9 years ago

What?  Still no link?  Anyway, here you go...

You are a warrior cat!

It may be a troll game, but I found it a welcome relief to those that aren't...

Draw My Attention (New Era)

9 years ago

"You are only bring people hell." ... *snicker*

Draw My Attention (New Era)

9 years ago
XD

Draw My Attention (New Era)

9 years ago

Thanks for the hyperlinks, man. yes

Draw My Attention (New Era)

9 years ago

As bad as it is, you are warrior cat still meets minimum site standards.

Draw My Attention (New Era)

9 years ago

The storygame has all of the following characteristics:

  • Grammar and style poor enough that it cannot be ignored
  • A plot which is poor or nonexistent
  • Poor pacing (usually characterized by frequent and unpredictable end game links)
  • A lack of important decisions

Draw My Attention (New Era)

9 years ago

(You forgot  a bullet point ...)

And yet it is still Rated Higher than the majority of the real WC games.

Leaving it for now.

Draw My Attention (New Era)

9 years ago

All right, you can't argue with that.

frown

(P.S: I can't believe it's 3/8! Seriously, people?)

Draw My Attention (New Era)

9 years ago

Unfortunately, there is an undeniable 'love it or hate it' thing when it comes to Warrior Cats on the site, so satire can sometimes be well received by the other half.

Draw My Attention (New Era)

9 years ago

Yes, satire... question mark...

(Okay, I'll stop relentlessly hating on this game now.)

Draw My Attention (New Era)

9 years ago

You must not have seen HateClan yet ...

Draw My Attention (New Era)

9 years ago

Unfortunately, I have... and "medicine bunny."

Draw My Attention (New Era)

9 years ago

*shudder

Draw My Attention (New Era)

9 years ago

Yep, me again, for yet another suggestion. (I just keep 'em coming, don't I?)

This game:

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/september-the-14th~3a-part-viii~3a-tiff-and-tuff-take-tokyo

currently has a rating of 8/8 as far as difficulty goes. Since you're BerkaZerka and have pretty much rated every single game on this site, you may or may not remember this game, but anyway, it's pretty much just a bunch of very easy boss fights that have semi-random tactics necessary to defeat them. Most can be solved with a bit of common sense and the "Go Back" button, but even if you don't use the button of glory, there's also an option to retry every single time you die. :\ I'd rate it 4/8 or 5/8... maybe.

 

Draw My Attention (New Era)

9 years ago

Yeah, I mostly agree; dropping the Challenge Rating 2 points.

Draw My Attention (New Era)

9 years ago

A Mermaid Adventure has been unpublished for failing to meet minimum site standards.

Draw My Attention (New Era)

9 years ago

Me again.

I recommend a maturity level change to the following game:

Trumpet Intro

Everything Else by MichaelaEsquire

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/Trumpet-Intro

Anyway, the maturity right now is 3/8, yet an f-bomb is dropped on the second page (w/ Charizard). 

Draw My Attention (New Era)

9 years ago

How prevalent is it throughout the story though?

Draw My Attention (New Era)

9 years ago

Considering 3/8 means between G and PG and the word "fuck", even once, bumps a movie up to PG-13, and the stories are said to be going off of movie ratings with the maturity levels ... it'd be a problem either way. I poked around and it doesn't seem to contain the word anywhere else, but there's a couple others... "ass" gets used a few times, for example.

Draw My Attention (New Era)

9 years ago

Good Point~

Bumped it to 4.

Draw My Attention (New Era)

9 years ago

Eh, beetlejuice is PG

Draw My Attention (New Era)

9 years ago

Rating 4 is still PG too.

Draw My Attention (New Era)

9 years ago

What a few movies (in this case, a movie that's over two decades old) got away with isn't really relevant to how movies are rated now, but yes, it is.
 

Draw My Attention (New Era)

9 years ago

I just keep 'em coming, don't I?

Maturity rating change for following game: (sorry about no hyperlink)

Mr. Crazy

Fantasy Adventure by tylerm13

?The rating right now is 1/8 (no potentially objectionable content), yet one option lets you pin an insane person and repeatedly stab him. What?

I recommend 3/8 or *maybe* 4/8.

Draw My Attention (New Era)

9 years ago
It's an unpublished story from someone who hasn't been on since '07...

Draw My Attention (New Era)

9 years ago

Well gee whiz, that's why I couldn't find the hyperlink, huh.

I am pretty darn stupid sometimes.

Draw My Attention (New Era)

9 years ago

... You can just copy the URL from the game's page...

Draw My Attention (New Era)

9 years ago
You should really be more careful.  Read this.

Draw My Attention (New Era)

9 years ago

That one is already Published & Rated, so even unpublished, it's ok to rate for the point.

Draw My Attention (New Era)

9 years ago
Good to know.  I wouldn't have risked it in case there was a zero tolerance policy.

Edit:  Free point!  :)

Draw My Attention (New Era)

9 years ago

Oh. Good. xD Because I've accidentally done that before. And recently. *cough* I need to pay more attention when skimming the threads--or maybe I should just finally go to bed like I've been telling myself for the past ... four hours?

Draw My Attention (New Era)

9 years ago

smileyindecisionfrownsad

Draw My Attention (New Era)

9 years ago

It's unpublished.

Was looking for your hyperlink when I noticed.

Draw My Attention (New Era)

9 years ago

Draw My Attention (New Era)

9 years ago

Yeah, it's an admin unpublished one - though I went ahead and changed the Rating anyway.

Draw My Attention (New Era)

9 years ago

I Just Happen To Turn Into A Flabird Part 1 has been unpublished for failing to meet minimum site standards.

Draw My Attention (New Era)

9 years ago

Recommending storygame for deletion:

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/Satoru~2dkun~2e

Reason; It has been published for well over one week, has been rated well over seven times, and has a rating of two and a length of one.

Draw My Attention (New Era)

9 years ago

Done~

Draw My Attention (New Era)

9 years ago

WAriaRs by ar 6 yEr olld has been unpublished for failing to meet minimum site standards.

Draw My Attention (New Era)

9 years ago

Warrior Cats: Fight has been unpublished for failing to meet minimum site standards.

Draw My Attention (New Era)

9 years ago

John Cena vs The Rookie has been unpublished for failing to meet minimum site standards.

Draw My Attention (New Era)

9 years ago

1.

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/will-you-be-my-valentine~3f

Category change to "Love and Dating": It takes place in a school sure, but that is the only school-related detail in the entire game!

2.

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/first-dates-can-be-tricky

Add tags "Romance" and "Humor" as both are present in the story.

3.

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/armed-forces-quest~3a-terrorist-attack~21

Remove comments:

This was shit.
-- Satan on 4/28/2015 3:41:26 PM with a score of 200

well...cant say anything
-- Tadakatsu542 on 5/30/2015 2:35:52 PM with a score of 0

First one flames the author rather aggressively and the second one isn't helping at all.

4.

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/destroy-super-team-strike-force

Recommend commentio for featurino:

"This game was interesting to say the least. At the beginning, I wasn't too impressed by the poor writing and the lack of links, but it slowly picked up. It was kind of funny in a weird way, and the funniest line was: 

SPOILERS 
"we'll be waiting for you unarmed at the airpoert." Even if it was misspelled, it was hilarious. 

This was no masterpiece, and it really could have done with more in-depth writing with better descriptions, background info, character development and plot. But it wasn't the worst storygame ever and showed some promise."
-Tev

I'd say it's pretty good; it's positive and gives advice on a generally bad game.

5.

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/the-lost-expedition-(1)

Recommend comment for deletion:

well done
-- alleycat on 11/19/2014 8:30:54 PM with a score of 0

It's a double comment.

6.

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/dog

H-o-r-r-b-l-e
-- NightmareBonnie on 6/30/2015 5:12:17 PM with a score of 75

... Probably true (:P) but it doesn't give any advice and is just flaming. So delete please

Draw My Attention (New Era)

9 years ago

Mm... I think it was already established that flaming a person is not okay, but saying you dislike a story, even in less than polite terms, is acceptable. "This was shit" is the same as saying "I think this was poorly written," it's just a less delicate way of saying it. Is it helpful? No. Not at all, because it offers no advice on how to improve it, but it's still relevant.

Draw My Attention (New Era)

9 years ago

 But still, I would be offended with that.

Draw My Attention (New Era)

9 years ago

That's irrelevant, Raven. Everyone finds "I think your story is terrible" type comments offensive. It doesn't mean that those people are not entitled to their opinions or even that those opinions are wrong, otherwise WC fans would have a lot more reason to complain. I've gotten comments like that on my works, too, and while I disagree because I put a lot of work into my story and quiz respectively, I respect the fact that some people honestly don't like them or think they were bad.

Draw My Attention (New Era)

9 years ago

Point taken.

... (And lost :/)

Draw My Attention (New Era)

9 years ago

And more: Feature Edition!

1.

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/jurgen-the-warrior

Feature comment:

You really could with injecting more descriptions into this storygame. It would bring it to life a little. As it is, it's really bland because I can't get a good image of the characters, scenery or anything else. You could have made this a sci-fi story instead by changing barely any words, it's that lacking in descriptive detail. It could have easily just been: 
orc -> Martian 
knight -> marines 
sword -> plasma blade 
Whitefall -> Planet Wetaeya 
etc., etc. 

Your choices often lead to really unsatisfying and lame one-sentence deaths. It's frustrating when you're suddenly killed by an orc for no apparent reason or a horse inexplicably kicks you just because the author can't be arsed to elaborate. That's certainly what it felt like. If you look at good storygames on this site it will go into more detail and explain why your character died, which makes it interesting to read and not at all an annoyance. 

Your lack of explanation about the world of Skyrim/Elder Scrolls makes this unenjoyable for those not familiar with the setting. Then again, maybe it makes no difference when it's so non-descript about everything. And what the hell is the YMCA doing in this place?
-- 31TeV on 6/4/2015 7:06:23 AM

It's very helpful and goes into detail about... detail :P

 

 

2.

 

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/a-stranger's-love

Feature comment:

There are parts of the story that are written reasonably well, but it lacks serious amounts of detail. based of off that, I think it was possible to add vivid details to the story, the first page proves that. 

I noticed a poor amount of detail put into certain parts of the story that would normally be considered important. In order to make progress I think there would have to be a good amount of information to contemplate. Unfortunately, there was not much to act on. 

When it came to the actual date there was a lot left out. There was no explanation of the date itself, where the characters went, how well the date had gone and what happened after the date. I also do not understand why there are large amounts of time skipped over. I believe there was two years skipped over before the characters meet again. I would of enjoyed a much longer story that would have given a romantic climax. 

The ending of the story was not very explanatory. When I would choose to continue dating it would not give much detail aiding my digestion of the situations encountered.
-- EvilSmile on 6/26/2015 6:30:33 PM

Goes into great detail about several aspects of the game. This comment is why I didn't comment.

4.


http://chooseyourstory.com/story/love-triangle


Grammar and writing could really use some tidying up. There were typos on nearly every page, and a simple proofread could have eliminated them all. My favorite was "feel8ngs" when pulling back from kissing Jen in the car. I guess the story itself was okay, if not a little confusing in the beginning, at least for me as I got a very early and abrupt end. I feel like this could be fleshed out a little more to encompass more plotlines instead of one choice leading to end and another continuing the story. Furthermore there could be a little more build-up and history on the characters themselves, more than "your girlfriend" or "your best friend".
-- FazzTheMan on 7/10/2015 1:11:08 AM

Huh, dunno who that guy is but his comment seemed certainly helpful. Although brief it does cover some annoyances he experienced during his play of the game.

5.

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/princess-pretty--~2d-the-captain-of-the-queen's-guard-~2d

Feature comment:

I very much enjoy your writing voice. It suits truly the tone of your story. You built the atmosphere with such a perfectly pleasant sense of humor. 

Because it is a prequel we can't expect much in the form of choices but we still get a fun element of autonomy. I enjoyed the somewhat cartoonish style of characterization. It really worked in your favor. 

Your work would have benefited from a bit more proofreading, several cases of "i" instead of "I," and a few other typos. They are hardly distracting from the story which overall reads neatly. Personally the length of this storygame is nice. Just long enough for depth, detail, and immersion but not long enough to wear out its gentle touch.
-- ugilick on 6/16/2015 3:42:32 PM

Pretty cool comment by ugilick. Sums the game up very nicely.

Draw My Attention (New Era)

9 years ago

And even more: Fazz's Personal Goldmine Edition!

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/fireteam

Comment for featuring :P


Not bad, but there could have been some improvements to this game. I liked the pictures and the writing of this story. It seems like you know a lot about how the military works... or just played a lot of SOCOM, both I respect mind you. The main problem this game had was the linearity; one bad move and you are dead, but I guess that's how it is like in real life. Still, I think there should be different strategies you could have used to rescue the captives, for example infiltrating the prison stealthily or guns blazing. As it stands, the game was a fun way to waste ten minutes.
-- FazzTheMan on 7/4/2015 8:34:49 PM

Oh yeah, I totally wasn't looking through the games I've played in the past and thought this might be a quick way to get some points...

Anyway, I covered some of the aspects of the game that could be improved on, offered suggestions and praised his SOCOM gaming habits. A decent comment, right?


----

Feature:

It was short and linear. I liked the time and honor mechanics of the story, but nothing else really. You should really flesh this out more so that instead of a test of the advanced editor with events occuring in the blink of an eye we actually get interactive fiction, complete with multiple branches of storyline and a more descriptive story, and some actual build-up. You need to slow down, describe the scene, and perhaps create some characters. 

Also, do dog packs really live that close to humans, much less are an actual thing? I mean, sure wolf packs, but dog packs? You would think all dogs are domesticated by now...
-- FazzTheMan on 6/25/2015 1:03:08 AM with a score of 25

Gave him advice on how to improve his story, went into detail on why I didn't like it.

https://chooseyourstory.com/story/dog

---

Feature comment:

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/battlefield-commander~3a-the-trojan-war

Wow, this was a really, really cool re-telling of the Trojan Horse, and definently one of my more favorite stories from you, Will. The way the writing immersed the reader was amazing, made me feel like I was actually there and participating in the war. With this immersion brings a new perspective on the classic Trojan Horse story, one that I really enjoyed. 

I didn't like how it was a little linear, but I suppose the rank mechanic and the way you could side with different leaders in different situations makes up for it. 

Good work Will! 

6/8.
-- FazzTheMan on 6/22/2015 2:29:19 AM with a score of 0

I told him some things I didn't like (which didn't limit the experience at all), and praised his work as it deserved much praise!


----

And uh look! Comment deletion!

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/a-british-shipwright-immigrant's-life-in-canada-(1830)

Meep!
-- Anime_Fan on 2/23/2015 2:49:08 PM

Reason: Not a comment.

----

... Okay, my last one, promiz

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/greetings-from-elsweyr

Hey, Skyrim! One of my most favorite games of all time :D 

I think the biggest problem with this game were the unpredictable nature of the outcomes of the choices. You should have a sense of what's to come after choosing a choice, through means such as build-up or knowledge from what the story told us. For example, if I want to make it back to Helgen, you should have told us or hinted to us at least that there would be a dragon. For example, the protaganist might hear a guard mutter about rumors of a dragon on the path to Helgen. Point is, the outcome of the choices shouldn't be random. 

I liked how the female and male branches were different, but what I didn't like were how they ended so abruptly. Considering this IS of the Skyrim universe, the paths could have been fleshed out so much, which is really the biggest offense. 

I really wanted -- expected -- much more from this story. Right now you just have the foundations, but you need to flesh out the plot(s), the character themselves (or at least give us a means to define ourselves) and the world we are in. 

3/8.
-FazzTheMan

I took a look at some of the aspects of his game, told him I generally disliked most of it for x reason, and finished up with ways he could improve himself.


----

... Keep yourself on your toes ;)

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/climbing-beyond-the-clouds

As always, a fantastic, realistic game from you Will. The writing was great and it brought to mind some of the real horrors of Everest, even as I sit here in my home across the world from it. Is there truly no way to reach the top, though? D:
-- FazzTheMan on 6/26/2015 1:40:57 AM with a score of 0

Now I suppose I'll do some general deletion...

----

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/warriors-adventure-~231 <<this is a link, sorry if it isn't blue for some reason

 

Well, if we win, then all WC fans leave the site. That's the point... But they probably won't. But then we continue to harass them until they do. That's about it.
-- TheDickReviewer on 12/19/2014 9:58:34 PM

Advocating the hate and flaming of WC fans.

awesum shud be better nown to members hatrs take notes.
-- lovestar on 5/16/2015 10:31:35 AM

Bad grammar

DIS WAS SO HORRIBLE 
1/8 
WC SUCKS
-- Erpdamerp on 1/30/2015 7:24:32 PM

Bad grammar, flaming, and rating the story poorly just 'cause it's WC.

THIS STORY WAS FUCKING AWFUL 1/8
-- Fazz on 12/24/2014 1:19:37 PM

Impersonation. Plus it flames. And if you're going to delete that delete:

Well it kind of sucks I have an impersonator. 

These types of problems were more prominent when I just used to play storygames anonymously, don't see why people still do it when I have an account and no longer use "Fazz". -_-
-- FazzTheMan on 12/29/2014 1:19:05 AM

As well because that was my response to the impersonator and is admittedly off-topic from the story.

 

... Holy crap, I never realized how much of a goldmine WC comments can be...
----

Draw My Attention (New Era)

9 years ago

Recommending games for deletion:

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/~2awarrior-cats-adventure~2a

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/The_Escapists

Reason for both: Has a rating of 1, has been rated over seven times, and has been published for well over a week.

 

Draw My Attention (New Era)

9 years ago

The games 'The Escapists' & '*Warrior Cats Adventure*' have been unpublished for failing to meet minimum site standards.

Draw My Attention (New Era)

9 years ago

The "game" Trivia Game 1: Minecraft has been unpublished for failing to meet minimum site standards.

Draw My Attention (New Era)

9 years ago

Recommending deletion of a comment (two comments, technically) on Love Story:

“First off this is way too short, maybe throw in some gushy romantic junk stuff like he stole a kiss or something, also the endings were not good, not sure how I became a loner.

-- DeathIncarnate on 7/28/2015 9:41:55 PM”

It's a triplicate comment.

Draw My Attention (New Era)

9 years ago

Done

Draw My Attention (New Era)

9 years ago

First, shouldn't this be in Fan Fiction? 
Second, why does the game finish when I choose to attack the man? Can't I just attack him? 
1.8/
-- Hardox on 8/7/2015 7:42:13 PM

 

Double post, just remove the first one (shown above).

Draw My Attention (New Era)

9 years ago

Sorry, no points for calling attention to your own double-posting haha!

(Not to mention new game and likely to be unpublished game at that) ...

Draw My Attention (New Era)

9 years ago

I know, I just wanted it off, considering others are snipping off their accidental double-posts.

Draw My Attention (New Era)

9 years ago

Recommending comment for deletion:

the zorgs are coming.dont worry big brother is looking after you
-- Arthe6351 on 8/9/2015 8:50:18 AM with a score of 100

On: My story

Reason: It has nothing to do with the story. I should know, I wrote the damn thing!

Draw My Attention (New Era)

9 years ago

^ Someone else must have got it already~

Draw My Attention (New Era)

9 years ago

The game hunger games survival pt 1 has been unpublished for failing to meet minimum site standards.

Draw My Attention (New Era)

9 years ago

The game the wolf war part 1 has been unpublished for failing to meet minimum site standards.

Draw My Attention (New Era)

9 years ago
Recommending a storygame for unpublishing: Inferno quest series: #1The Burning adventure The storygame has all of the following characteristics:
  • Grammar and style poor enough that it cannot be ignored
  • A plot which is poor or nonexistent (maybe the plot is actually great ... but I need translation, first.)
  • Poor pacing (usually characterized by frequent and unpredictable end game links)
  • A lack of important decisions
  • The storygame has "dead" pages- pages with no links or way to proceed. (well, didn't see any pages without links, but there are links that return you to the same page or some links you can't click on)
I'm not sure if it Will be unpublished because it isn't so short and is raided 2, but I'll still try. It's on admins to decide, though.

Draw My Attention (New Era)

9 years ago
And here are some stories that need category change to fan fiction: Warrior cats: Hunting! Warrior Cats - The Journey Home ( PART 2) They are boath WC stories, in the same world as original books. If we really need to have them, at least have them all in the same place, heh.

Draw My Attention (New Era)

9 years ago

Agreed~

Draw My Attention (New Era)

9 years ago

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/randomly-walk-ii,-the-epic-sequel~2e

Recommendation for featuring in the category of fan-fiction to replace "Danny Phantom Adventures".

Reasons: Danny Phantom Adventure is rated a 4/8 for good reason. The plot is linear and the writing is mild to lukewarm. Randomly Walk II however is a hilarious parody of "Randomly Walk". It has a higher rating and is better than the currently featured game in my mind and the minds of many others.

Draw My Attention (New Era)

9 years ago

I love Penguin's parody as much as the next person, but it's not feature worthy imo. For one, the game it's parodying doesn't exist anymore (deleted), and secondly it's a fanfic of something on the site. There may not be a rule against but I just think that's weird.
Besides that, the fan-fic section is very weak but that still doesn't mean something like this deserves to be featured. It's a funny game, but it isn't really that great.

Draw My Attention (New Era)

9 years ago

Sen pen messaged me & said pretty much the same thing.

 

Draw My Attention (New Era)

9 years ago

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/a-dog%27s-life
Not a fan-fic. Should prolly be moved to Modern Adventure or Everything Else. Also, should have the tag 'Animal Perspective'.

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/daydream-syndrome
Don't know why this was never featured in fan-fic. It's got a good rating and it doesn't have any competition (fan-fic only has 5 featured, so six is open).

Draw My Attention (New Era)

9 years ago

^Agreed with adding Tag.

Not sure about Category Change - seems being a 'fan' of cats, dogs, wolves, bunnies, etc, fits pretty well in Fan Fiction. Doesn't seem right to have WC in one and the rest scattered between fantasy and modern. Curious what the other Mods / Admins think.

For the Feature suggestion, maybe start a thread about it in the parlor room?

Draw My Attention (New Era)

9 years ago

No! Dogs life is a fan fic. There's an inspirational book series called "a dogs purpose" that the story is pretty much an exact replica of.

I really don't like daydream syndrome. (In part because the author didn't call it a fan fic to begin with- it sure looked like he filed off the serial numbers & attempted to pass it off as his own.) 

 

Draw My Attention (New Era)

9 years ago

Whoops. Nice catch haha. To clarify though, if it's an animal perspective and isn't a fan fic where should it go?

I'll trust you to that. Haven't read the source material and skimmed over the actual story so I'm not going to fight for it haha.

Draw My Attention (New Era)

9 years ago

All Animal Perspective to Fan Fic! All of it I say!!! (or maybe not)...

Draw My Attention (New Era)

9 years ago

Don't like the logic. WC is fanfic because it's based on a book series. Unless it's based in a creative project then fan-fic doesn't work (even if you're a fan of your pet, lol.) I figure it's most likely Modern Adventure with a maybe on Sci-Fi/fantasy if the setting is wacky enough.

Of course, up to you mods to decide.

Draw My Attention (New Era)

9 years ago

Usually Modern Adventure, but sometimes Everything Else.

Draw My Attention (New Era)

9 years ago

Works for me!  XD

Draw My Attention (New Era)

9 years ago

Recommending games for deletion:

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/what's-your-summer-swag~3f

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/Stuck-in-Tower

Reason for both: Has a rating of 2, a length of 1, has been rated more than 7 times, and has been published for more than a week.

Draw My Attention (New Era)

9 years ago

Hi Chris, hold up on this for now, as we are writing new minimum site standards.

Draw My Attention (New Era)

9 years ago

Recommending a comment for deletion:

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/1st-and-the-last-of-the-ninja

The most recent comment is basically the one below it copied and pasted.

Draw My Attention (New Era)

9 years ago

Got it~