And even more: Fazz's Personal Goldmine Edition!
http://chooseyourstory.com/story/fireteam
Comment for featuring :P
Not bad, but there could have been some improvements to this game. I liked the pictures and the writing of this story. It seems like you know a lot about how the military works... or just played a lot of SOCOM, both I respect mind you. The main problem this game had was the linearity; one bad move and you are dead, but I guess that's how it is like in real life. Still, I think there should be different strategies you could have used to rescue the captives, for example infiltrating the prison stealthily or guns blazing. As it stands, the game was a fun way to waste ten minutes.
-- FazzTheMan on 7/4/2015 8:34:49 PM
Oh yeah, I totally wasn't looking through the games I've played in the past and thought this might be a quick way to get some points...
Anyway, I covered some of the aspects of the game that could be improved on, offered suggestions and praised his SOCOM gaming habits. A decent comment, right?
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Feature:
It was short and linear. I liked the time and honor mechanics of the story, but nothing else really. You should really flesh this out more so that instead of a test of the advanced editor with events occuring in the blink of an eye we actually get interactive fiction, complete with multiple branches of storyline and a more descriptive story, and some actual build-up. You need to slow down, describe the scene, and perhaps create some characters.
Also, do dog packs really live that close to humans, much less are an actual thing? I mean, sure wolf packs, but dog packs? You would think all dogs are domesticated by now...
-- FazzTheMan on 6/25/2015 1:03:08 AM with a score of 25
Gave him advice on how to improve his story, went into detail on why I didn't like it.
https://chooseyourstory.com/story/dog
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Feature comment:
http://chooseyourstory.com/story/battlefield-commander~3a-the-trojan-war
Wow, this was a really, really cool re-telling of the Trojan Horse, and definently one of my more favorite stories from you, Will. The way the writing immersed the reader was amazing, made me feel like I was actually there and participating in the war. With this immersion brings a new perspective on the classic Trojan Horse story, one that I really enjoyed.
I didn't like how it was a little linear, but I suppose the rank mechanic and the way you could side with different leaders in different situations makes up for it.
Good work Will!
6/8.
-- FazzTheMan on 6/22/2015 2:29:19 AM with a score of 0
I told him some things I didn't like (which didn't limit the experience at all), and praised his work as it deserved much praise!
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And uh look! Comment deletion!
http://chooseyourstory.com/story/a-british-shipwright-immigrant's-life-in-canada-(1830)
Meep!
-- Anime_Fan on 2/23/2015 2:49:08 PM
Reason: Not a comment.
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... Okay, my last one, promiz
http://chooseyourstory.com/story/greetings-from-elsweyr
Hey, Skyrim! One of my most favorite games of all time :D
I think the biggest problem with this game were the unpredictable nature of the outcomes of the choices. You should have a sense of what's to come after choosing a choice, through means such as build-up or knowledge from what the story told us. For example, if I want to make it back to Helgen, you should have told us or hinted to us at least that there would be a dragon. For example, the protaganist might hear a guard mutter about rumors of a dragon on the path to Helgen. Point is, the outcome of the choices shouldn't be random.
I liked how the female and male branches were different, but what I didn't like were how they ended so abruptly. Considering this IS of the Skyrim universe, the paths could have been fleshed out so much, which is really the biggest offense.
I really wanted -- expected -- much more from this story. Right now you just have the foundations, but you need to flesh out the plot(s), the character themselves (or at least give us a means to define ourselves) and the world we are in.
3/8.
-FazzTheMan
I took a look at some of the aspects of his game, told him I generally disliked most of it for x reason, and finished up with ways he could improve himself.
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... Keep yourself on your toes ;)
http://chooseyourstory.com/story/climbing-beyond-the-clouds
As always, a fantastic, realistic game from you Will. The writing was great and it brought to mind some of the real horrors of Everest, even as I sit here in my home across the world from it. Is there truly no way to reach the top, though? D:
-- FazzTheMan on 6/26/2015 1:40:57 AM with a score of 0
Now I suppose I'll do some general deletion...
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http://chooseyourstory.com/story/warriors-adventure-~231 <<this is a link, sorry if it isn't blue for some reason
Well, if we win, then all WC fans leave the site. That's the point... But they probably won't. But then we continue to harass them until they do. That's about it.
-- TheDickReviewer on 12/19/2014 9:58:34 PM
Advocating the hate and flaming of WC fans.
awesum shud be better nown to members hatrs take notes.
-- lovestar on 5/16/2015 10:31:35 AM
Bad grammar
DIS WAS SO HORRIBLE
1/8
WC SUCKS
-- Erpdamerp on 1/30/2015 7:24:32 PM
Bad grammar, flaming, and rating the story poorly just 'cause it's WC.
THIS STORY WAS FUCKING AWFUL 1/8
-- Fazz on 12/24/2014 1:19:37 PM
Impersonation. Plus it flames. And if you're going to delete that delete:
Well it kind of sucks I have an impersonator.
These types of problems were more prominent when I just used to play storygames anonymously, don't see why people still do it when I have an account and no longer use "Fazz". -_-
-- FazzTheMan on 12/29/2014 1:19:05 AM
As well because that was my response to the impersonator and is admittedly off-topic from the story.
... Holy crap, I never realized how much of a goldmine WC comments can be...
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