Player Comments on 90 Minute Storygame: Prepare To Die

-My comments have small spoilers for those who have not read, and intend on reading, “90 Minute Storygame: Prepare To Die”.-
The short story itself was edited nicely, and I found it rather easy to make sense of the situations and choices presented. I knew when to use the bow and sword because of how well you had written your work. The little dialog and descriptive narration within the writing was not disappointing, but clear. Through this, I was able to understand what each character was saying, and how it held weight within the game. There was also a clear setting, meaning, I knew where I was within the story, and I understood the clear dangers and obstacles that were thrown at me. Even though you had written the game within ninety minutes, it flowed well. The story did not go off on a tangent or randomly deviate from the set course you were trying to reach.
With that said, I was left with some complaints and concerns about the reading itself. I do wish you had put more of an effort into the beginning of the game to properly expound upon the protagonist’s history. For example: who is this person, and why should I feel anything for him or her? Clarifying how he or she had gotten into the situation would have done well in adding to, and revealing this history. It would have also been wise to include the crucial events that lead up to the war, which would also help explain the reason for beginning the Battle. You also could have described the field itself, perhaps adding to the setting in a positive way while simultaneously painting a better image for the reader.
Unfortunately, because of the lack of details given, I found the story to be too short with a lot left to be desired. This also means that there is just as much room for improvement if you choose to continue writing and expanding on the universe this story was written in.
The ending I was able to reach was also well crafted, and helped explain an interesting turn within the battle itself. Even though it was short, I was able to clearly see the climax the story had reached as well as the falling action that shortly followed. Story wise, you have a good concept. I sincerely wish there was more to read, but I recommend changing the title of the game, it is quite deceptive.

Well written with no obvious SPAG issues. Very short and to the point as expected. The sudden introduction of a primary antagonist without any foreshadowing was an interesting choice by the author. It is well paced for the short length and is a good illustration of item usage in the system.

Had a blast with this one - short and sweet.

Fun to play , could be longer

Don't feel like a long comment. Interesting idea, but was quite stale and pointless. I'm sorry for being blunt, but it could certainly use some more umph: some story, some more important choices and impact, and some more interactability. Still has potential though.

There are only two real endings. (Unless you count getting killed by a dumb decision)

It's a good game, nonetheless...

EDIT: I just realized that the 90 minutes refers to the fact that it took 90 minutes to make. Not 90 minutes to play. Very good for that.

fun simple and good

fun ass game

really fun to play in the middle of math class :)
I got the good ending, where we live :) GG everyone

It was ight but just to short but thats my bad for picking it i guess

Really loved it! Was magical to play, and enjoyed every minute of it. Keep it up, and keep making these majestic stories for us wonderful people to play. Nice Job!

It was just not thought out.

very good

for 90 minutes it is good

IT HAD SOME OPTIONS BUT THERE COULD BE MORE CHOICES AND OPTIONS TO PICK FROM INSTEAD OF HAVING A FEELING THAT THERE ARE ONLY TWO CHOICES YOU COULD DO

it was boring and it punished you for following a last wish

ok, kind of fast

pretty good for something so short

it ok

Reading over some of the other comments it is clear this was written in 90 minutes, which is a pretty difficult task. It allows me to appreciate what this is rather than what it isn't. I like how you incorporated the items into the story and allowed for the player to have a bit more agency, which is awesome. My biggest issue is how little information there actually is within the story. we're just kinda fighting the whole time and don't have much idea as to what we're fighting for. In those 90 minutes it felt like you focused more on mechanics than the story itself. While the other comments delve deeper into that, I'm about eight years late to the party and will instead just complain that you never went back to polish this up into something more fun! With that said, I did see the story beats and the flow which is an important piece of writing anything.

For being made in only 90 minutes this isn't terrible. Your actual ability to effectively write scenes and convey information doesn't get to be shown off in full here but from what i can see it seems good. You've also shown you already know how to implement game functions such as inventory into your story. This game does what it does just fine considering the time crunch you were working within.

That being said, while i don't expect a fully fleshed out world or 17 stage hero's journey from your 90 minutes of work there are a couple of specific things that could've been done better.

First; the lore dump in the endings. Now this work seems more geared towards game than story, and it looks like you may have overlooked plot. While it would've been fine if you simply left this as a kind of battle simulation, in the endings you just dumped a bunch of exposition and lore that there had been no build up to during the course of the story. This is not an effective way of building a story line. For future, be sure to spread out the provision of lore over the course of the story instead of throwing it in at the end.

The other thing is the author's notes indicating when to and when not to use the bow. Players should not be instructed on when to use items outside of a tutorial, but you provided multiple prompts of where to use it. Don't do this. Maybe prompt once so players have an idea of how your items work but not more. The point of story game is for players to make their own choices and author input undermines this. Players aren't stupid and can read descriptions to decide how to approach the situation. We don't need author coddling and you can leave the idiots to die. That's how the game works.

Good

hardly a story, and arguable not a very good game either

Just like a snack cake, short and sweet!

feel like its a bit too short lol

It was a good short story.

very good

I made it to each ending. It is a pretty fun, short story.

90 minutes? more like 15 but still, a lot of effort. kudos to you

Noice for 90 minutes, would like different things to happen when if u choose a differently sized group.

There is no literal way to loose, pretty boring. but it did have an accurate concept. took me three minutes to finish.

ITS %FIVE MINUTES

Ehh

IT suck like hell It had only 3 chouses it sucked dog water nuts

This game was incredible. I plan to make a few of my own soon, and although your game was short, It is immpressive.

Good job

This was a good story. The bow v.s. sword was a bit obvious, but for something written in 90 minutes, it's pretty good.

This is an incredibly short game, but it's decently fun in its simplicity. It was easy to understand and follow, but it felt like a 50-50 at one of the choices, where you aren't given any hints or clues as to which choice will lead to your immediate death and which one will be your survival. I liked how you dropped the main character right into the action. It worked, and there was some interesting lore.

Amazing... Just amazing

I think it was good but I was a little confused about how to play.

It is too short, and you needed more background info. Why are they fighting this war? What side are you on? Who are you?

A nice, solid storygame. It is average by all definitions of that word. Back when it was made it is a solid 4, but under current site standards I will rate it a 3.

It is pretty meh, and a big fault is the branching. The writing is okay, but when you have a story this short with the only real choice being at the end it just fall flat

Way too short

Yay, I killed the Drug! This is still a 3/8 story though.

Spoilers might be in the comment so please read the storygame before reading this comment.

I am not familiar with the exact rules for the writing jam, but I get from other comments and context that this game was written within 90 minutes. For that I will judge it by that.

For a game of only 90 minutes of writing with play-testing and proofreading involved it is a very solid work. Using items instead of links to proceed does impress me a bit. I do not know how complicated it is to implement items in a game, since I never done that. I find the idea of that very clever though.

The plot was clearly understandable. Your a soldier you are in a war. Basically you had to judge the situation and use the right weapon in the right moment that is a good idea for mass combat.

The character overall and also the plot was indeed a bit shallow, but given the time limit I get that it was not easy.

The story was quite short and we did not get much background information about the war itself. Why are they even fighting a war? Is it for territory or riches?
It was sadly to short to be really captivating and also the descriptions lacked detail, which took away from the immersion quite a bit.

Taking all into consideration I can only give you a 3/8. For the harsh time limit it is a great story, but I think a higher score would be too much.

I got the kill the Drug ending- nice!

good but to short

Good, but too short.

Although super short the few minutes i did spend were quite exciting.good plot twist i died the first time trying to give he guy an honorable death.

That was actually really fun. Pointless but fun nontheless. 7/8

Really love this
I don't know what else to say other than, maybe make it longer...oh wait...90 seconds...nvm

too short but I like it

Way too short and anticlimactic

i mean, good story, i wish it was a bit longer and a bit harder as well, i like a challenge

I beat this game in like 2 minutes?!

My experience was not actually that long. On the 8th link, I died. But other then that, this was awesome! It was focused on war, which I really liked. 8 out of 8!

Well,I survived and won,what a surprise!!I kept the sword....
Ok,fine I think

"You are told everything later on. Apparently that man was known as the Drug. His sword sucks the life and power out of it's victims and transfers it to the person who is using the sword. This gives them a huge but temporary boost of power. It becomes addictive and soon the person is consumed forever in a vicious cycle, preventing them from choosing a side in a battle. They will kill anyone they can to gain the mysterious high. When you killed that man with your own sword, the power was unable to shift to anyone, meaning it was just released to the air. You saved yourself and everyone else."

Seriously, 90 minute story game? Do you mean it took you 90 minutes to write this game? Because the game play can be finished in less than 9 minutes, so either it was meant as a joke or it took you THAT long to write it? ;)

There was some variety to the combat, which is not something I've seen much of in the few stories I've read. Good job.

Started well. Liked choice of weapons. Finished too quickly whether winning or losing.

There's not that much to the story. I see it's more of a game, but there really aren't that many outcomes possible. 3/8.

I got the two endings that weren't death yay! :D
That aside this story is written beautifuly, but I would say it's shorter than a trek through the forest.

Makes you wonder what will happen next, interesting

Ok

Seems most of the picks don't really matter in the end.

I had the betray ending and the hero ending

Oh. My. God. I apparently rock this game. Kill the drug!

Just to short, I finished it in under 5 minutes.

Wow, I like it, even though I did die. XC

Hey there! :-). Fantastic game! I felt like I was actually on a battlefield. As my character won, (by using his own sword to kill the drug), I personally feel that if I was in a real battle, I would have a good chance at keeping safe. I realise now, thanks to your ingenious game, that it's all about having your wits about you and staying alert. Thanks again for creating your story. :-). Can't wait to play your future creations! Bravo...

Very interesting. Wish it was longer.

It's really enjoyable, but the title is REALLY misleading.

Too short and boring.

Uh it was too short...

too short

Ahahahaahahaahahaha, I became a power hungry person. Because I took the guy's sword. Yet that war seemed more like a small battle with a huge amount of people. Anyways, great map.

I enjoyed this story, I understand that it was written in 90 minutes I just hope it was longer.

90 Minute Storygame?! That title is such a LIE!
How can anyone play it for 90 Minutes, unless they click the first page, then come back after 85 minutes to go on to the second page. Damn, finished the WHOLE game less than 5 minutes TRYING TWO endings.

"WAIT EVERYONE PULL OUT YOUR BOWS BECAUSE NO ONE WOULD THINK TO ENGAGE AN ENEMY FORCE FROM AFAR EVEN WHEN IT IS IMPLIED WE ALL HAVE BOWS" Not gonna lie, luaghable

i killed the drug and saved everyone... now, where's that staples button?

The action I enjoyable, but I thought the storygame would be longer. Keep doing what you're doing and write more, and the story would be much better! Also, there should be a purpose, not just killing people.

No this story needs more action or else it is HORRIBLE!

Great job! Such a good story done in solittle time!

Fantastic, loved the special sword ending, great story, hope you do more.

i saw 2 endings and they both were good. i killed the drug, and i be came him.

NICE story , but the end its very not hopefull :-D

There needs to be more story options. I played the whole thing in about 2 minutes.

So cool

For a 90 minute story game, it was pretty short. I completed it in about... 3 minutes? Probably not more than that.

For a 90 minute game it was very good... However compared to the games that took many weeks or months to write it can't be compared.

90 minute story games are almost always shit. This is ever so slightly above shit, it's just a lonely lump dangling from the butthole. I didn't have fun playing this. 3/8

This 90 minute story game took me 8 minutes.

Good concept, but like many other story-games, the execution is half done.

There's no dialogue here, so expect to be reading large blobs of text.

It's a short journey, thankfully, but it definitely could've been better.

Pretty good with a solid concept, but sort of repetitive gameplay. Not bad for 90 minutes.

This is a great game! I really enjoyed it.

This was a fun little game. Quite good for something written in 90 minutes. I'm impressed, good job.

Huh. Pretty cool! :)

great continue writing

So the secret wepon was just the drug? Or did I miss something, didn't realy take all that much thinking as the discription lead me to believe.

Liked it. Grammar was good, and concept was solid.

Pretty good

That was just about the easiest Story Game ever.

It was good but short

Short but sweet.

It was nice. You choose how you want to fight. Although they're some stuff that keep me from giving it a perfect score. I would've liked it more if it was longer and was more descriptive then, "Another man charged you but was far away enough for you to shoot." You could of also reviewed it more because there were some grammer errors I caughr. Overall, I like the creativity of this.

The story is too short

Nice,hope you continue it.

Not a bad idea, but it's painfully short (a side effect of the 90 min time crunch), and riddled with grammar problems.

It was very short

I feel like it was shorter than 90 minutes. I kill the guy with his own sword and thats it.

Quite good for 90 minutes. 5/8

Pretty good, I enjoyed. I understand the shortness (I wrote for the 90 min challenge as well)

Excellent job for a hastily put together piece, I will definitely agree that this was worth publishing in spite of its time constraint. I'd offer the standard "could've been longer" critique, but it really couldn't have been under the circumstances and for its length, it was good.

Pretty decent.

Was decent. For less than 90 minutes a 4 is a pretty good feat.

worth playing, but not very many paths (which is probably usual for a 90 minute game). 5/8

This was an interesting game, good job for making it in such a short time. I liked the sword idea, it is a pretty cool thing to do. 6/8

Nice!

Which item to use was fairly obvious. Still, I liked the possessed sword ending. I wish that you'll take this game down after the challenge and make a longer, more in depth version.

That was fun! Really well written for 90 minutes and you created a very interesting villain (the sword, not the guy) :p

Actually really liked this game. The idea of 'The Drug' was great, and I felt, original. The fighting was smooth and the game was well written. Short, but obviously it would be due to the time limit. 6/8

This was a nice short story, I especially liked the combat elements of the story.