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June is Noob Threshing Month!

2 months ago
Now this is the Law of CYStia -- as long as literacy stands; And the Noob that types well may prosper, but the Noob that shitposts be banned. As the comments that girdle the branches, the Law judgeth day and night -- For the strength of the Site is the Writing, and the strength of Writing the Site. Well we've had a lot of newbies pop up here in the last few months as well as returning olbies. Things have been pretty weird out there and so in recognition of that we have welcomed and coddled these refugees from reality. But CYS has never been a soft cuddly place full of hugs and puppies. It's a harsh unforgiving wilderness where the only ways to gain merit and recognition are by clawing your way to the top, ripping out the jugular of anything that stands in your way-- --yeah usually it's just an ordinary sloth, but picture something more intimidating I suppose if that helps. Uhh, sure. And occasionally you must even do battle against your fellow CYStians, drag them to the top of the ziggurat and carve out their still beating hearts to please your gods. This is one of those times. Unlike normal contests, this one will just be for new writers on the site. That is, for anyone who's joined in 2020, but also for anyone who's been here however many freakin years but doesn't have a published storygame yet because...well you know. That darn SLOTH, it's a menace! So any entrants don't need to feel intimidated; except for those brief moments you manage to be entertaining, you're all at around the same level, in the same place of being a lesser being. Unknown, unappreciated, and held in vague contempt when your betters even think of you at all. But by simply stepping up (and over the mangled corpses of your fellow noobs) you can change all that. THEME: Welcome to the Jungle (Any genre or setting. You will be judged in part on the theme, but it's a pretty broad one with many ways to interpret it.) DEADLINE: July 5th 11:59PM Central Daylight Time RESTRICTIONS: Storygames should have an overall word count somewhere between 9k and 40k words. (You can view this when you go to read it by hovering over the Play Length number with your mouse.) PRIZE: The usual pointless points and TRIUMPH, GLORY and SMUGNESS. Maybe a few Steam bux depending on how poor I am once July rolls around. Oh and although this is a contest for newbies, we're still playing by big boy rules and it's a good time to introduce you to them: Minimum 25 point entry fee to join. (This will be refunded upon successful completion and publishing of a qualifying game, plus a small bonus depending on the amount bet.) If you're brand new, you can literally just create three blank storygames and then read and rate one other person's game to get there. (If you've dueled your 15 free newbie points away, well now is the time to apply hard work and GUMPTION to get some more. But I'll actaually give anyone who enters 5 points if they can simply read this far and message me the original source of that poem on top of this post.) Once you join, you're locked in. You must produce something capable of passing minimum site standards before the deadline, or else you shall be tossed into the pit of eternal SHAME to be laughed and jeered at by your fellows who actually managed to follow through. So when you do submit an intent to enter, edit lock your post immediately afterwards by posting something in reply to it. If you see someone who has forgotten this all important step, go ahead and help them with it. There will be no take backsies here. Finally, there are a few members who don't technically qualify to enter, but because of their exceeding specialness, I shall make an exception and allow them in. That would be @Chanbot, @SpartacustheGreat, and @Micropen. Well anyway, fight well and have...fun. Update: Discussion of this one got a little scattered. See the Noob Contest Roll Call and Newbie Contest Q&A for more. (Particularly the latter thread as it contains Enterpride's entertaining stalking assessment of contestants and his best guesses at their chances.

June is Noob Threshing Month!

2 months ago
Obvious theme song is obvious.

June is Noob Threshing Month!

2 months ago
in for 125

June is Noob Threshing Month!

2 months ago
Edit lock

June is Noob Threshing Month!

2 months ago
I'm in for 126

June is Noob Threshing Month!

2 months ago

I am really looking forward to the culling to come.

June is Noob Threshing Month!

2 months ago
Shhh, don't scare them.

June is Noob Threshing Month!

2 months ago
Just a few notes for newbies: Make sure you create the actual storygame at least a couple days in advance of the deadline. People sometimes wait till the last minute to start pasting their pages over from somewhere else and then are disqualified because the site has a 48 hour wait between creating and publishing a new game. I'd recommend taking a couple days to familiarize yourself with the editor if you've never used it before, while thinking about your plot and branches. Then jot down some notes or an outline. That will leave you a full month to write and then a couple of more days for last minute testing and editing. Be mindful of the length when coming up with your plot of course: it's really easy to underestimate how much work these are and how out of control branches can get if you've never written one of these before. The 40k maximum is for your own protection. Also, I've made a thread here for any questions or requests for feedback or anything like that as the month goes on. If you've never really done much on the site that might be a good place to introduce yourself too.

June is Noob Threshing Month!

2 months ago

In for 50. Also how do you edit lock???

June is Noob Threshing Month!

2 months ago
'edit lock your post immediately afterwards by posting something in reply to it.' In other words, what I just did.

June is Noob Threshing Month!

2 months ago

Ok

June is Noob Threshing Month!

2 months ago

I'm in for 50

June is Noob Threshing Month!

2 months ago

Edit locking

June is Noob Threshing Month!

2 months ago

I'll join

June is Noob Threshing Month!

2 months ago

:)

June is Noob Threshing Month!

2 months ago

no thanks

June is Noob Threshing Month!

2 months ago

I'm in because miz is making me.

June is Noob Threshing Month!

2 months ago

edit lock

June is Noob Threshing Month!

2 months ago

I'm good to go for 127 points.

June is Noob Threshing Month!

2 months ago

Now it is done...

June is Noob Threshing Month!

one month ago

June is Noob Threshing Month!

2 months ago

In for 28

June is Noob Threshing Month!

2 months ago

And now it's edit locked

June is Noob Threshing Month!

2 months ago

Would it be ok to raise my bet by 9972, or is it too late now/would that put me too far in the negative? Going in the negative might encourage a little less procrastination, and actually getting something done on top of the whole pit of shame thing.

June is Noob Threshing Month!

2 months ago
I'm afraid not. Only the Chaos contest has ever let people make bets that insane. You'd be betting more points than anyone on the site even has.

June is Noob Threshing Month!

2 months ago

Ah saw the chaos contest so thought it was possible, worth the try at least.

June is Noob Threshing Month!

2 months ago

25 Down

Been a member for 7 years and haven't done anything, so I think I fit this contest nicely.

June is Noob Threshing Month!

2 months ago

Lock

June is Noob Threshing Month!

2 months ago

I'll put down 50 points to join.

June is Noob Threshing Month!

2 months ago

Lock

June is Noob Threshing Month!

2 months ago
I think this would be a great contest for @Negative2 to join, since he's been allowed to return but hasn't yet done anything to redeem himself for the emoness and cringe of his old account. In fact, I'm gonna have to insist.

June is Noob Threshing Month!

2 months ago
In for 25. I might actually finish something that I started today. And the plague means tons of free time (that gets divided b/w steam, netflix and sleep).

June is Noob Threshing Month!

2 months ago
Lock

June is Noob Threshing Month!

2 months ago
I expected more writhing and whining. Perhaps you really have changed. Hopefully you've changed enough to actually finish something for a contest, because I suspect Endmaster will just use it as an excuse to ban you again if you fail.

June is Noob Threshing Month!

2 months ago
Well, I made a WIP Thread for some good old motivation so the chances atleast right now are looking pretty okay.

June is Noob Threshing Month!

2 months ago
Who ARE all these people?

June is Noob Threshing Month!

2 months ago

It seems CYS has a lot more peasants quietly working in the fields than any of us realized.  I imagine quite a few of them jumped at the chance to ascend despite the risks involved.  After all, wouldn't you?

June is Noob Threshing Month!

2 months ago
I was wondering how the statistics would shake out. It seems the average newbie joining has had an account for two-four years.

Slasher with a whopping ten years I believe is the winner, but that Pikachu person comes pretty close to that.

Tmanaking I see online a lot, I believe he's a relic of a time that was more friendly to anime avatars.

June is Noob Threshing Month!

2 months ago

There was a time where anime avatars were more acceptable? Honestly I've been too busy keeping my head down to know that. Though I can't lie it's nice knowing I'm not too far off the average age of accounts in this contest. 

June is Noob Threshing Month!

2 months ago
Yes but that was during the reign of the Bad Mods. We don't talk about them. ...well actually we do. A lot. But not in my contest thread.

June is Noob Threshing Month!

2 months ago

Ahh one of the most beautiful trainwrecks. Eh it's just a character from one of my favorite shows, though if it helps me build an identity here i guess that's a perk. I just think she's a great character.

June is Noob Threshing Month!

2 months ago
It's been 3 years since @Pineapplekitty was invited to a contest, so it seems like it might be time to invite again.

June is Noob Threshing Month!

2 months ago

I'm in. 

June is Noob Threshing Month!

2 months ago

EDIT LOCK

June is Noob Threshing Month!

2 months ago

Oh yeah, I'll put in 30 points to join. 

June is Noob Threshing Month!

2 months ago

I'll join

June is Noob Threshing Month!

2 months ago

locking

June is Noob Threshing Month!

2 months ago

Am I useless enough to qualify?

June is Noob Threshing Month!

2 months ago
Yes!
Congratulations!

June is Noob Threshing Month!

2 months ago

Huzzah!  In for 100 (plus my only trophy..).

June is Noob Threshing Month!

2 months ago

*Turns the key*

June is Noob Threshing Month!

2 months ago

Is it even possible to lose those trophies?

June is Noob Threshing Month!

2 months ago

Last time I gambled away my points, it disappeared after a day or something. 

June is Noob Threshing Month!

2 months ago

That makes sense I suppose.  Well, best of luck.

June is Noob Threshing Month!

2 months ago
Yup. Trophy gone.

June is Noob Threshing Month!

2 months ago

I'm poor, but I want to live knowing there's a looming threat of an eternal pit of shame. Take 50 points, please.

June is Noob Threshing Month!

2 months ago

Lock

June is Noob Threshing Month!

2 months ago

Uh... sure I guess, gotta start sometime ya know?

50 ON RED!!

June is Noob Threshing Month!

2 months ago

NO WAIT ON BLACK!!

June is Noob Threshing Month!

2 months ago
Gives me an idea, what are the odds of betting on these entrants?

June is Noob Threshing Month!

2 months ago
Just stop

June is Noob Threshing Month!

2 months ago

Well, you've got three basic categories here:  the true noobs, the lurkers, and the specials.  True noobs are wild cards, because we don't have much of an idea of their skills.  They could be professional writers, or twelve year olds with chosen one mentalities.  The lurkers have been here quite some time and still haven't finished anything.  On one hand, they have a pre-established pattern of failure, but on the other, they could have more experience than the true noobs. And the specials are the ones Mizal let join despite not technically meeting the requirements.  I'll let you draw your own conclusions about them.

Now, my question is, are we betting on who's going to come through and finish something, or who's going to win?

June is Noob Threshing Month!

2 months ago
I am actually in bed slowly dying as we speak so I'm not agreeing to anything that makes me mess with points right now. However, you may use the Writing Workshop contest chat thread as a place to discuss the failings and merits of the entrants based on whatever info you can glean, and make predictions based on that. That will show them for not having questions.

June is Noob Threshing Month!

2 months ago
Please don't die.

June is Noob Threshing Month!

2 months ago
I don't understand where these people are all coming from.

I'm starting to worry now that some of them may finish their stories, and then I'll have to read things.

June is Noob Threshing Month!

2 months ago

I was wondering about that myself, and I kinda think it could be because a lot of these guys were just intimidated by some of the normal contests on this site.  Having a contest just for noobs takes some of the edge off, creating the illusion that there's nowhere to go but up.  That's completely false, of course.  There are plenty worse things than being an unknown, but they don't know that yet.

June is Noob Threshing Month!

2 months ago

Being scum of the earth isn't that bad...

June is Noob Threshing Month!

2 months ago
Get out of the thread unless you're entering.

But hey I'm glad it's working out for you, because it's a fucking feat all right letting your place in things become lower than Serpent's.

June is Noob Threshing Month!

2 months ago

I'm in for 50 points. 

June is Noob Threshing Month!

2 months ago

Edit lock. 

June is Noob Threshing Month!

2 months ago
Not sure how well a deer would survive in a jungle, but good luck...

June is Noob Threshing Month!

2 months ago

I'm in! Time to be more productive! 

June is Noob Threshing Month!

2 months ago

Also I don't know the source of the poem so I can't get my five free points, BUT I do remember this poem.

I'd actually love to know the source cause I remember hearing it in high school and occasionally I still vaguely think about it but I have no idea where it's from. 

June is Noob Threshing Month!

2 months ago
Hi, my name is Mara and I will be one of the judges in this contest. This is my scorecard:

1-10+ Style
1-10+ Length
1-10+ Re-playable
1-10+ Technical
1-10+ Theme
1-10+ Enjoyment
-10-10+ Errors
1-10+ Personal score

80 is the maximum score.

If any of you have any questions regarding my scoring, please ask.

June is Noob Threshing Month!

2 months ago

Hello, if possible can I get some clarification on the style part? 

June is Noob Threshing Month!

2 months ago
Writing style. using good metaphors if you make repetition of some words . The flow and the pacing. The narrative in general.

June is Noob Threshing Month!

2 months ago

Okay that makes sense, thank you for answering.

June is Noob Threshing Month!

2 months ago
English isn't Mara's native language, but she's one of like, maybe three people who takes the time to read every new story published on the site and think about it enough to form an opinion. So between myself and her and Orange (the token nice judge) I figure we've got a good range here even if I don't wind up bringing anyone else in.

June is Noob Threshing Month!

2 months ago
The other judge lined up is @Orange, if anyone wants to ask her what her main criteria is. There possibly might be one or two others, depending on how early July is looking for them and how many entries there are. I'll just say that for myself, the main element I'll be looking at is the quality of the prose and how polished the whole thing is. Adherance to theme and amount of branching are other big factors.

June is Noob Threshing Month!

2 months ago

i will joni

June is Noob Threshing Month!

2 months ago

Now that's what I call promising.

June is Noob Threshing Month!

2 months ago

I would like to join this. Hopefully, an imminent deadline would push me to complete a storygame.

June is Noob Threshing Month!

2 months ago

Edit locked. 

June is Noob Threshing Month!

2 months ago

Famous last words. 

June is Noob Threshing Month!

2 months ago

Hi everyone! I apologize for posting this a bit late but here is my scoring. There are 100 points maximum:

30 points- prose or writing style

10 points- theme

20 points- grammar/spelling 

10 points- branching

30 points- interesting story

 

June is Noob Threshing Month!

2 months ago

In for 25

June is Noob Threshing Month!

2 months ago

Edit lock.

June is Noob Threshing Month!

2 months ago

@mizal, what's your criteria?

June is Noob Threshing Month!

2 months ago
Just scroll up a teensy bit and read things.

June is Noob Threshing Month!

2 months ago

Oop, my bad.

June is Noob Threshing Month!

one month ago
Is it too late to enter this? I'll bet 35.

June is Noob Threshing Month!

one month ago
Done and locked.

June is Noob Threshing Month!

one month ago

I'm joining. Betting 25

June is Noob Threshing Month!

one month ago

.

June is Noob Threshing Month!

one month ago
And then on July 4th, End unpublishes all of his stories, submits his entry, and then after he wins, republishes his old stories with correct dialogue punctuation.

June is Noob Threshing Month!

one month ago

I think I heard that the official arbiters of punctuation are actually going to be changing the formal rules of punctuation so that they are in line with Endmasterian punctuation.

June is Noob Threshing Month!

one month ago
This just shows how far his influence reaches. Eldritch Abomination that he is, should we be surprised?

(How have you been, Gower?)

June is Noob Threshing Month!

one month ago

As we all know, they only had three choices. 

June is Noob Threshing Month!

one month ago
My entry isn't gonna happen gg

June is Noob Threshing Month!

one month ago
Twenty-three enter the jungle. Some stroll in carelessly as though expecting a walk in the park, others creep ahead with timidity and fear, and still others stride with purposeful determination. A warrior with a mystical blade forged of dreams carves a wide swath straight through the trees, in one end and out the other, reaching civilization again and sitting down to eat ice cream in an air conditioned room while the others struggle and die. One by one they fall, some letting out weak, pitiful cries as they collapse, and some simply vanishing without a trace into the labyrinth of the steaming green hell. A few manage to pace themselves, keeping their heads about them and making it to the platform at the foot of the ziggurat still in fighting shape. The other survivors limp into the clearing at the last hour, even the last minute, exhausted and with thousand yard stares. It's clear the ordeal has taken everything from them. But it's only just begun. Atop the ziggurat, four women lounge on thrones. Wearing fantastical headdresses, Mizal, Orange, Poison Mara, and Briar Rose carry sceptres that mark them as the high priestesses whose task it is to oversee the bloody event. Behind them towers a fifth figure, silent, cloaked and hooded, features obscured. Almost as if at a signal, from the twin ziggurat across the valley, a primal shriek pierces the air, silencing the howling and chittering beasts of the jungle. A winged serpent takes flight, cruel eyes searching the thick vegetation for those who didn't make it. Soon it will have gathered these languid souls in its razor talons, to be delivered to an even darker and more powerful god. In the jungle, there is no mercy; such is the price of failure. Thirteen suffered this fate. @Chanbot @Axxius @Novelist176 @corvus @Megumeme @Acratios @Kwism1127 @Negative2 @spacewinner @jordanvang @CockusBlockamus @Starbourne @AnimalAlien With nothing but THE PIT awaiting them, they would have an eternity to reflect on their mistakes. But there were those who still remained gathered at the foot of the temple. @Unforgiven @greenBean @ApprenticePortentous @tmanaking @Deer89 @TheDeadKin @TheCanary @MicroPen @OriginalClamurai Each warily regarded the others, seeing little sanity reflected back. They had all lost much of their humanity out there. Yet within the ziggurat's ancient halls, immortality waited, only for one of them. Of those nine who had arrived to do battle today, the altar and the knife awaited eight. (Contest fees and bets will be returned tomorrow where applicable, and the SHAMED will meet their fate. Judges may start reading and making their decisions whenever suits them, but I'd like to aim at results within the next week.) Congrats to all who made it this far! There really are far more of you than I expected. And a special congrats to Mystic for going WAY above and beyond, even if that means we unfortunately had to take your story out of the running just for the sake of having any kind of "contest" here at all. You have definitely, permanently removed your noob status however and may join the other deserving members as a real human being now!

June is Noob Threshing Month!

one month ago

That was beautiful, thanks for this. Had a lot of fun with it! 

June is Noob Threshing Month!

one month ago
@Orange @Poison_Mara @Avery_Moore @MysteriousMysteryJudge All the judges will need to do is PM me a list of the games, from your most to least favorite. I'm aiming to announce the results next Sunday at the latest, but if you need more time for some reason just let me know.

June is Noob Threshing Month!

one month ago

Haha. That was an enjoyable read...  and the ice cream was delicious. Thanks for hosting the contest - I enjoyed it and it motivated me to finally finish a storygame. I'm glad to become a human being, although I'm still a long way from whatever superhuman creatures some of the other members of this site are. 

June is Noob Threshing Month!

one month ago

Oh, sorry, I didn't realize all the other judges were posting score cards. 100 points max.

50 points - It's good

50 points - It's not shit

June is Noob Threshing Month!

one month ago

So, just to be clear, the entries are:

The Cottage and the '73 Rallye by Unforgiven

Aenigma Academy by greenBean

The Jungle Book by ApprenticePortentous

Law of the Jungle by tmanaking

When Johnny Comes Marching Home by Deer89

Following Orders by TheDeadKin

I Don't Need Air to Breathe by TheCanary

Paper Slingers by MicroPen

Savior by OriginalClamurai

... Also, Dreamtruder by Mystic_Warrior was an entry, but was disqualified on the grounds of being too awesome.

That right? ^_^

June is Noob Threshing Month!

one month ago
Yes, thanks, I was going to do a list last night but it was four hours past my bedtime and I was too sleepy for HTML.

June is Noob Threshing Month!

one month ago

Just while we're on the subject, enterpride left the same comment twice on Paper Slingers, so you might want to delete one of those. 

June is Noob Threshing Month!

one month ago
Did he REALLY though?

June is Noob Threshing Month!

one month ago

... Yeah that's confusing. >.<

June is Noob Threshing Month!

one month ago
Yeah my bad. The first one had no styling and thought I'd fix it. The second version is far superior, so that's clearly the one that should survive

June is Noob Threshing Month!

one month ago

I second that, sadly can't delete my own review though (or if I can don't know how too).

June is Noob Threshing Month!

one month ago
Update on this: Just waiting on the last judge to get her votes in. It's going to be a close contest. The same stories were on everybody's top five list, it's just a matter of placement. So a lot depends on the final vote.

June is Noob Threshing Month!

one month ago
Yeah, this contest was extremely difficult to judge because there were so many good entries. >.<

June is Noob Threshing Month!

one month ago
It really did not help that you and another judge turned in votes that had the top five as exact mirror opposites...

June is Noob Threshing Month!

one month ago

The ol' Mara/Moore juxtaposition. 

June is Noob Threshing Month!

one month ago
Honestly, any of those top five could've been my favourite. ^_^

June is Noob Threshing Month!

28 days ago

Update? 

June is Noob Threshing Month!

28 days ago
Same as the last update.

June is Noob Threshing Month!

27 days ago
Allrighty, just got the last set of votes in. The winner will be announced tomorrow around lunch time, I'll see you guys then!

June is Noob Threshing Month!

27 days ago
Oh what the hell I'll just announce it now. The winner is @Deer89 with When Johnny Comes Marching Home. One point behind him was @Unforgiven with The Cottage and the '73 Rallye. (Unforgiven has not logged back in since publishing sadly and may have actually been eaten by ghosts...) Savior and The Jungle Book were tied for third. Congrats to the winners, and really to all of you. Results were waaaaay better than I expected honestly, both in turnout and in quality. And of course an honorable mention goes to @Mystic_Warrior who was rolled into a ditch and hastily covered up with some leaves to make all this possible. Check back tomorrow for the fancier write up, and the reveal of the Mysterious Mystery Judge. Just who is that tall cloaked and hooded figure, no one like that lives here, whoa so enigmatic.

June is Noob Threshing Month!

27 days ago

Congratulations everyone! 

June is Noob Threshing Month!

27 days ago

Congratulations to everyone.

June is Noob Threshing Month!

27 days ago

Good job everyone!

June is Noob Threshing Month!

27 days ago

Well done, everyone! 

June is Noob Threshing Month!

27 days ago
Just linking your game here too for anyone who might be randomly browsing in the future: Dreamtruder

June is Noob Threshing Month!

27 days ago
It is good. Play it. ^_^

June is Noob Threshing Month!

27 days ago

Yey! Those four were my favorites. ^_^

Edit: ... I meant, "Congratulations everyone!"

June is Noob Threshing Month!

27 days ago

Congratulations everyone! It was a lot of fun. 

June is Noob Threshing Month!

27 days ago

Great job, everybody! And thanks to the judges for plodding through about five hours of text. 

June is Noob Threshing Month!

24 days ago
Great job everyone!

I'm glad I decided not to enter so that the others could have this chance.

June is Noob Threshing Month!

25 days ago

*cough*

June is Noob Threshing Month!

25 days ago
Shhhh.

June is Noob Threshing Month!

24 days ago
Commended by mizal on 7/18/2020 12:03:42 PM

I'm not sure about the mystery judge. She's probably someone who is witty and pretty and totally tall.

But here is what happened at the judges' stand (pretty much.)

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And here's the actually good comic I had drawn beforehand. :~)

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Congrats to you all!

June is Noob Threshing Month!

24 days ago
@Mystic_Warrior

June is Noob Threshing Month!

24 days ago
Yeah I had a little short story in mind to cap this off and then I was going to tag you to post the comic, but, then it never happened. I have been just playing Slay the Spire for about twenty minutes a night and then falling asleep at the keyboard, whoops.

One of these days I'll figure out how to do more than just shitpost from my phone.


June is Noob Threshing Month!

24 days ago
It doesn't matter Miz, we all know that you work really hard for the forum.

June is Noob Threshing Month!

23 days ago

Wow, this is amazing!

June is Noob Threshing Month!

11 days ago
I love these so much!

June is Noob Threshing Month!

11 days ago
You bring so much joy to CYStia. ^_^