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6 years ago

Having a comment featured (2 points)

Recommending a comment for featuring (1 point)
Recommending a user's excellent aid in the last six months for points (1 point)
Recommending a tag change for a storygame (1 point)
Recommending a storygame for movement to a different category (1 point)
Recommending a storygame for a change in maturity level or difficulty level (1 point for each)
Recommending a storygame for featuring (1 point)
Recommending a storygame for unpublishing (1 point)
Recommending a comment for deletion (1 poin
t)

So, in other words, if you go, right now, and find 5 storygames which are not properly tagged (there are literally dozens of these out there), then you'll get 5 points.

The catch: to get points for recommending something, I have to agree with you. If you recommend a story for featuring and I don't feature it, then you don't get the points. This is to prevent people from gaming the system. Don't worry, for most of the above recommendations, you won't get rejected often if you follow proper procedure. (Except maybe on the "recommending for featuring.")

However, you need to follow the correct procedure to get your points!

Recommending a comment for featuring:

Reply to THIS thread to THIS post with:
- A hyperlink to the storygame
- The comment that you think deserves featuring (copy and paste it)
- The username of the person who wrote the comment (doesn't have to be the exact username, just enough so I understand who it is)
- If there are already 3 featured comments on the storygame, you also have to let me know whose comment you think should be replaced.
- If I agree, you will get 1 point and the person whose comment is featured will get 2 points. If you are reccomending your own comment, then you only get 2 points.

Recommending a comment for deletion:

Reply to THIS thread to THIS post with:
- A hyperlink to the storygame
- The comment that you think deserves deletion (copy and paste it)
- The username of the person who wrote the comment (doesn't have to be the exact username, just enough so I understand who it is)

It has to either have spammy punctuation, flame the author, be completely incomprehensible, be a duplicate comment, or not actually be a comment (such as "..." or "poop" or something).

Note: Do not recommend comments on Endmaster's or madglee's games for deletion unless they are spammy or deformed. Basically, Endmaster and madglee like to read their flamers so don't rob them of that.

 

Recommending a user's aid in the advanced editor (post must be made in the last 6 months)

Reply to THIS thread to THIS post with:
- The user who provided the aid
- A hyperlink to the post where he provided the aid

Recommending a tag change for a storygame

Reply to THIS thread to THIS post with:
- A hyperlink to the storygame
- All of the tags you believe the story should have

Recommending a category change for a storygame

Reply to THIS thread to THIS post with:
- A hyperlink to the storygame
- The category you believe it should be in
- A short explanation of why

Recommending a change in maturity or difficulty level for a storygame

Reply to THIS thread to THIS post with:
- A hyperlink to the storygame
- The change you think should be made
- A short explanation of why

Recommending a storygame for featuring

Use http://chooseyourstory.com/forums/the-parlor-room/message/11750

Recommending a forum thread for deletion

Reply to THIS thread to THIS post with:
- A hyperlink to the thread
- A short rationale for why

Recommending a storygame for unpublishing

Reply to THIS thread to THIS post with:
- A hyperlink to the storygame
- A short explanation of why [specifically, you must describe how it fails to meet minimum site standards]

New criteria for unpublishing:  Any unfinished story rated 4 or less which has been published for over six months.

What qualifies a story as "unfinished?"

1. Specifically stating in the description/text of the game that it is a "demo."

2. Ending abruptly with a notice that it will be continued later.

Games that say they are the first in a series are not automatically considered "unfinished." As long as the game itself is complete, even if the author never returned to write a sequel, it is not up for unpublishing.

If you don't follow protocol, either there will be no negative repercussions, you will be ignored, or I'll take your advice and not reward you with points. Following protocol expedites the process for me so I don't have to spend a lot of time making changes.

To summarize: post here (for the most part) with recommendations for who I should reward / what I should change and I'll reward you with points.

Draw My Attention (Again!) The New Thread

6 years ago

Recommending story-game for unpublishing:

Zombies are Racist

This story is stated to be incomplete, has a rating of 2, and has been published for over 6 months.

Recommending a category change for a story-game:

Imperialism: Choose Your Own Adventure

Current category: School-based

Proposed category: Edutainment

Reasoning: The story centers around something the author discussed in school, not an actual school or what it is like to be in school.

Draw My Attention (Again!) The New Thread

6 years ago

Aw... I kinda liked Zombies are racist :(

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6 years ago

Recommending story for unpublishing:

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/cross-a-canyon

Reason: Consent of author.

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6 years ago
If the author gives consent, then why doesn't he delete the story himself? That doesn't add up.

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6 years ago

I was banned on that account.

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6 years ago
Sorry, I failed to recognize the author.

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6 years ago

Stupid fox is stupid.

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6 years ago

Chris, how many accounts have you made?

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6 years ago

Oh, that was the first, this is the third. Overall, I've made 4 different accounts.

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6 years ago

And all but one has gotten banned?

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6 years ago
I don't think TheDickReviewer got banned.

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6 years ago

I wasn't banned on Chris11302, I just turned rich text editor off and couldn't turn it back on. I think I was banned on TheDickReviewer though.

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6 years ago

Oh, yeah. Chris11302 Mark 1 was the one with the astronaut guy, right?

Draw My Attention (Again!) The New Thread

6 years ago

HE'S FROM MY FAVORITE SCENE IN 2001: A SPACE ODYSSEY, NOT A FUCKING ASTRONAUT!

Jeez, I need to chill on caps.

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6 years ago

Don't spend them all at once!

*buh dum tssss*

*wasteland silence*

Draw My Attention (Again!) The New Thread

6 years ago

11302

Chris11302

TheDickReviewer

Chris113022

Draw My Attention (Again!) The New Thread

6 years ago

Recommending a comment for featuring:

Homo Perfectus 8

Ok, so, a while ago, It was somewhere around 2 in the morning and I had just beat Homo Perfectus 8. I had been stuck on that game for a year and I had finally figured out how to beat it because Chris told me how. I was so excited I wrote this:

*warning. Spoilers ahead. If ya don't like spoilers, fuck you, im doin it live* 
YES! YEEEEEES YES YES YES! I FINALLY GOT THE SUPER-HEROIC ENDING! THANK YOU, CHRIS! THIS FEELS SO GOOD! FUCK YOU, MUTANT! IT WAS ALL YOUR FAULT! THE ONLY PEOPLE I REALLY CARED ABOUT WAS SPARKY, HELLION, MASOCHIST AND KASTION! KASTION WAS FUCKING ADORABLE! HE WAS LIKE A PUPPY! GOOGLES WAS COOL, TOO, I GUESS! HASTE HAD A WEIRD SENSE OF HUMOR, BUT HE WAS ALSO COOL! ORITOKU, BRAD AND BRUTE WERE KINDA DICKS, BUT WHATEVS! NO COMMENT ON CLAYMORE! BARYON WAS THE BEST! SO WAS YOUR MOM! DID I JUST SUBLIMINALLY MAKE A "YOUR MOM" JOKE?! HELL YEAH I DID! LESIKAH SUCKED! SO DID EVERY OTHER BAD GUY, BUT MOSTLY LESIKAH! SHE FUCKING KILLED HYPER! HYPER WAS CHILL! FREAKSHOW WAS KINDA COOL TOO! YES! YES! YES! 
IM ALSO LAUGHING SO MUCH BECAUSE OF ALL THE "THATS WHAT SHE SAID" JOKES IM MAKING SUBCONSCIOUSLY! 
"Best game ever, 10/8" -ME

-- Tim36D on 8/21/2014 2:03:32 AM with a score of 1001

There aren't any featured comments on Homo Perfectus 8, so I would be honored if I was the first.

Best story on this site, in my opinion.

Draw My Attention (Again!) The New Thread

6 years ago

Haha, your comment is great in a lot of ways, but I don't think that it's featureworthy. Also, you're welcome

Draw My Attention (Again!) The New Thread

6 years ago

Probably not. But I had to try, right? Thanks again.

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6 years ago

4lwyz tr1 m8

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6 years ago

Recommending a comment for deletion:

Murder...It felt a little fun...



18182883728198/82829919/8929292828292992929292983838291829929299999999999999999999999999/0

-By WarriorCatsRPStories

Draw My Attention (Again!) The New Thread

6 years ago

Recommending tag change for a storygame:

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/i-know

Remove 'Previously Featured'.

Reason: It's very clear this was never featured, considering it was created just today.

Draw My Attention (Again!) The New Thread

6 years ago
That one can just be deleted entirely. It is 100% linear.

Draw My Attention (Again!) The New Thread

6 years ago

Might as well get some points in the meantime :D

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6 years ago

Recommending story-game for unpublishing:

Choose a door

Published for more than 1 week, rated more than 7 times, has a rating of 2, has a length of 1.

Draw My Attention (Again!) The New Thread

6 years ago

Damn, James, you're trying to rack in all the points.

Draw My Attention (Again!) The New Thread

6 years ago
It has been a few days since it passed the "one week" mark. If it got pushed much further down the list, somebody, probably me, would have to go digging for it in its respective category.

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6 years ago

Recommending a category change for a storygame:

Skyrim Quiz By Ufop1 Improved Version

Current category: Everything Else

Recommended Category: Fanfiction

Reason: This is a quiz about a pre-existing work.

Draw My Attention (Again!) The New Thread

6 years ago

I just went ahead and unpublished that. 

Draw My Attention (Again!) The New Thread

6 years ago
Damn.

Draw My Attention (Again!) The New Thread

6 years ago

You still get the point.  And for choose a door.  Which was unpublished due to being an unfinished game.

Draw My Attention (Again!) The New Thread

6 years ago
Does the comment I've recommended qualify for deletion?

Draw My Attention (Again!) The New Thread

6 years ago

Yeah, game's unpublished now, but yes.

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6 years ago

Sorry. I need to pay more attention, I guess.

Draw My Attention (Again!) The New Thread

6 years ago

Recommending storygame for unpublishing:

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/~2e~3aicky-boys-~26-cootie-girls~3a~2e-~2awip

?Reason: Story is unfinished, having a rating of 3, and has been published for more than six months.

Draw My Attention (Again!) The New Thread

6 years ago

Done.

Draw My Attention (Again!) The New Thread

6 years ago

Recommending story-games for unpublishing:

Joe or not a Joe

Gribberly Mansion

Civil War Jepordy

Ofsted Inside.com

ATC (the deleted scene)

All of these games are labeled by the authors as demos, have been published for six months or more, and have ratings of four or less.

Draw My Attention (Again!) The New Thread

6 years ago

First four, unpublished.

Kinda torn on the ATC one.  It's clearly not a story, but the author says the intent was to show people that you don't have to know scripting to write a fight scene- that you can use variables and link restrictions.

He claims the reason it says "to be continued" at the end is because it was taken from a finished story.

 

Draw My Attention (Again!) The New Thread

6 years ago

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/multi-player-action

Okay, this storygame has been here for quite a while. I go through the random story button, getting points rating and playing, etc, but this is by far the worst storygame I've ever played. It's got zero point to the storyline, 90% of the links are death links, and the grammar/spelling is horrible.

Has been up since 2004, and has a rating of 2.

Draw My Attention (Again!) The New Thread

6 years ago

Rating of *3.

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6 years ago

Oh, shit. Was looking around and I thought it said 2. Sorry.

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6 years ago

Another one for deletion here is What REALLY goes on in Area 51. This could also be changed to "Sci-Fi adventure", if not deleted.

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/What-REALLY-goes-on-in-Area-51~2e

It's very linear, spelling and grammar is pretty bad, and the storyline can be kind of hard to follow at times. I don't like the fact that there's only 1-2 choices on every page in the game.

Has a rating of 2/8, and has been up since 2005.

Draw My Attention (Again!) The New Thread

6 years ago

It is 2/8, but the play length is 5.  Does it meet all of the following criteria? (See james's post on "happy birthday mr. zombie" for an example of what to do.)

 

The storygame has all of the following characteristics:

  • Grammar and style poor enough that it cannot be ignored
  • A plot which is poor or nonexistent
  • Poor pacing (usually characterized by frequent and unpredictable end game links)
  • A lack of important decisions
  • Unbelievable or overly cliched dialogue (if dialogue is present in the story)

Draw My Attention (Again!) The New Thread

6 years ago

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/the-night-sky-will-fade

Should be moved to fan-fiction if not deleted.

Warrior cat's fan-fic.

Draw My Attention (Again!) The New Thread

6 years ago

Well, if its a warriorcat fan-fic it obviously needs to be dealt with promptly.

Draw My Attention (Again!) The New Thread

6 years ago

Did you really mean for me to delete "The left-handed man" for "obvious trolling?" 

Also, I am not getting into an argument over whether or not a Bible-based story can have the "Historical" tag. 

Draw My Attention (Again!) The New Thread

6 years ago

Oops, wrong link.

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6 years ago

Recommending a story-game for unpublishing:

Happy Birthday, Mr. Zombie

The story-game has all of the following characteristics:

  1. Grammar and style poor enough that it can't be ignored: "You wake up and it is your birthday and your brother birthday You find a note and it said go to the kitchen"
  2. A plot which is poor or inconsistent: There is more story in the synopsis than there is in the game. The synopsis says that you have a twin brother, it is your birthday, your brother gets bit, and you must find the cure. Only the first two parts appear in the story; there is no mention of your brother getting bit or the necessity of finding a cure. Actually, your twin brother doesn't even appear in the story, really.
  3. Poor pacing: All of the ending pages are unexpected, random, and consist of no more than two blurbs of text that don't even deserve to be called sentences.
  4. A lack of important decisions:There are only two pages on which you get more than one option. On the first of these pages, two out of the three options provided lead to a poorly described, nonsensical death page. If you choose the least sensible of the three options, however, you live and are given two more options. One leads to "you Found a cure YOU WIN"; the other leads to "The door is locked You die".
  5. Unbelievable or overly cliched dialogue (if dialogue is present in the story): There is no dialogue present in the story.

Draw My Attention (Again!) The New Thread

6 years ago

Recommending comments for deletion:

On story http://chooseyourstory.com/story/happy-birthday-mr~2e-zombie

gt7p9
-- to68 on 3/1/2015 7:28:50 PM

etj
-- to68 on 3/1/2015 7:28:18 PM

Reason: Not comments.

Draw My Attention (Again!) The New Thread

6 years ago

Someone else must've gotten these, I didn't see them.

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6 years ago

I will vouch for him, if that means anything. XD

I think madglee took the liberty of removing them when he was on the other day.

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6 years ago

Gave him the points. Why not. XD

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6 years ago

Recommending category change for a storygame:

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/your-trip-on-the-underground-railroad

This belongs in Edutainment, not school-based.

Draw My Attention (Again!) The New Thread

6 years ago

Always been confused about that. When people write something for school they typically place it in 'School based'. But should it actually go to Edutainment?

Draw My Attention (Again!) The New Thread

6 years ago

School-Based: The game takes place in a school.

Edutainment: The game teaches you.

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6 years ago
That's how I understand it, just another category to keep modern adventure from overflowing.

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6 years ago

Done

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6 years ago

Got a comment for deletion and another great example of the general stupidity level of WC fans.

Innkeeper

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/innkeeper

terrible, bad, horrid, I hated it

so long
why does ppl want long stories


so bad

I can't believe that ppl do this *eeeewwwwwwwwwwwww*


bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad


b
a
d

b
a
d
b
a
d

 


bad!!!!"

 

bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbb

bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbb

bbaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

aaaadddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddd

dddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddd
-- stormstar292 on 3/3/2015 1:47:52 AM with a score of 0

(Divided it up so it doesn't stretch out the page)

Draw My Attention (Again!) The New Thread

6 years ago

Why does ppl want long stories?!! XD

 

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6 years ago

Recommending a comment for deletion:

warrior cats life!!!

its the best ever!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

whatever

9/10

yawns

so everyone who commented it bad... i fucking hate you, you bitches and sons of them.

everyone who commented nicely i love you nah
btw i'm a murder
and you fat bullys why don't you pick on someone your own size!

-- stormstar292

I can't say that the commentor is flaming the author, since he/she is the author. But, it's not so much a comment on the story, as a giant 'fuck you' to the readers.

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6 years ago
Suggestion for unpublishing:

Don't die: http://chooseyourstory.com/story/dont-die

Rating of 1 with 46 ratings; published Dec 2014.

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6 years ago

You didn't make it a clickable link, and I'm lazy. (or on a phone)

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6 years ago

Draw My Attention (Again!) The New Thread

6 years ago

point to james. XD

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6 years ago
Dammit! ;)

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6 years ago
You still got your point.

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6 years ago
I did. Heh. :)

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6 years ago
How do you make it a clickable link? ...I never learned how.

Draw My Attention (Again!) The New Thread

6 years ago

<a href="(URL)">(Link Text)</a>

But, that only works if you have Rich Text Editor turned off or you click the source button in Rich Text Editor.

Draw My Attention (Again!) The New Thread

6 years ago

Or look up at the top of the box you're typing in: See where there's clickys for bold and italics and such?  Keep going past font and size, and past those letter "A"s, and there's a thing that looks like chain link.  click that, and paste the url in the box that pops up.

Draw My Attention (Again!) The New Thread

6 years ago
Oh yeah, forgot about that thingy. Still, I've had better luck just using HTML.

Draw My Attention (Again!) The New Thread

6 years ago
Ever since I turned the RTE off last, I only get that box back (yes, even when RTE is on) when I go in to do editing on one of my games.) Thanks to both of you though... I better save that somewhere, or I'll forget it.

Draw My Attention (Again!) The New Thread

6 years ago
Again, there is so much more you can do with RTE turned off that I consider a hassle more than a helpful tool.

Draw My Attention (Again!) The New Thread

6 years ago

I recommended that in the old thread!

Draw My Attention (Again!) The New Thread

6 years ago
How to make a link. Everytime a make one. It gives me this -- jdjd code written - jdjd

Draw My Attention (Again!) The New Thread

6 years ago
How did u do it???? I used this code --- ^a href="google.com"^jdjd^/a^ but it gives me this ----- jdjd

Draw My Attention (Again!) The New Thread

6 years ago

Wait, someone sequaled my game?

Draw My Attention (Again!) The New Thread

6 years ago

what?

Draw My Attention (Again!) The New Thread

6 years ago
He had originally posted a list of games and what he wanted you to do with them. The links were broken, so I fixed them. But, he removed the list of what he wanted done to each game.

Draw My Attention (Again!) The New Thread

6 years ago

the second one isn't published?

the third-six ones are all rated 3

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6 years ago

The link to Island attack is also broken: "too many redirects."

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6 years ago
Apparently, Betaband doesn't even have a game published by that name. Negative's original links had the names of the games (as they would be written in the URL), but the URLs themselves had some extra crap that would give you an error if you actually tried to go to that page.

Draw My Attention (Again!) The New Thread

6 years ago
One of my links was bad too. He wasn't wanting them all to be deleted. He wanted a category change to fanfic for the first, but I can't remember the rest.

Draw My Attention (Again!) The New Thread

6 years ago
He gave a wrong link for th le 2nd. The name were quite similar. I think I will dig again. Thankzz

Draw My Attention (Again!) The New Thread

6 years ago
...i forgot that writing the code again would make it a link..

Draw My Attention (Again!) The New Thread

6 years ago
Whoa, whoa, this is creating a mess. Just pm the list of games and what you were wanting. I will put them in the proper format for you.

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6 years ago
@james thanks. but i think i will just go and cry in a corner. (not really)

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6 years ago

Recommending a comment for deletion:

Hailpool's Story

"When you reach puberty you'll understand why I gave this story a 1."

-- iqqih on 3/3/2015 11:47:17 AM

This is a duplicate post.

Draw My Attention (Again!) The New Thread

6 years ago

Thanks for sorting that out. :)

Draw My Attention (Again!) The New Thread

6 years ago

Oh. My comment on that game is ... now featured. That was fast. o.0

Thank you.

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6 years ago
1. Rico Robo

Unpublish: Incomplete, rated 3, published on 2004.

2. Island Attack

Remove Tag: Previously Featured

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6 years ago

Recommending a story-game for unpublishing

Jewel Thief

This game has been published for a week, has a rating of 2, has a length of 1, and has been rated more than 7 times.

Draw My Attention (Again!) The New Thread

6 years ago

That typo is still funny.

Draw My Attention (Again!) The New Thread

6 years ago

Recommending a story-game for unpublishing:

Harry Potter...What if?

While this is an interesting concept, it certainly doesn't answer the question of "what if". This game has:

  • Grammar and style poor enough that it cannot be ignored: unnecessary spacing, absent capitalization, and the use of an "apostrophe s" in plurals.
  • A plot which is poor or nonexistent: All we get is a bit where students are summoned to the great hall, Harry demands that students from Slytherin stay, and a few of them run off.
  • Poor pacing (usually characterized by frequent and unpredictable end game links): If you choose to stay in the Great Hall, which is how you are supposed to initiate the story, you end up forced into one of two dead ends.
  • A lack of important decisions: If we choose to 'stay and fight', there is a message "It was your choice", which is extremely ironic, since the only other option leads to a death page (which, also ironically, is the only way to end the game, as "staying and fighting" just leads to two blank pages).
  • Unbelievable or overly clichéd dialogue: The only pieces of dialogue in the game are "the castle is under attacked. ALL STUDENTS AND STAFF TO THE GREAT HALL!" and "All Slytherin's must stay". Both of these sound like what a seven year old Harry Potter fan would say.

Edit: I'm sorry. I see that you have unpublished this one previously. Just know that it's been published again with no significant changes. I am certain that the conditions inspiring your previous removal are still present.

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6 years ago

I took it down again, and sent the author a message.  It's also unfinished, there are paths that end in the "No Links: You may go back, or restart to start over."

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6 years ago
Huh, I thought it had to have been published for six months for us to recommend its deletion based on that point alone. So, if there are paths that end in "No Links: You may go back, or restart to start over", there is an exception?

Draw My Attention (Again!) The New Thread

6 years ago

Yeah, the 6 month rule applies to complete games that are presented as a demo.  

Games with pages like "This is a new page" or  "No Links: go back or restart" are incomplete, and as such can be immediately unpublished.

Presentable demos should at least end all paths with an end game, leave comments link.  

Draw My Attention (Again!) The New Thread

6 years ago
How is this story not already here: warrior cats life!!!? It is just because of the duration published? Because this story has 24 out of 30 ratings of a one. I'm pretty sure there's no way that's going to go up. It certainly meets all other criteria for deletion.

Draw My Attention (Again!) The New Thread

6 years ago
Unless it has been published for one week, you have to take the long way.

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6 years ago
Fair enough.

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6 years ago
Recommending for un-publishing, based on new criteria: "Any unfinished story rated 4 or less which has been published for over six months."

Ze Hunger Games: Demo

Warrior Cats The second Demo

Draw My Attention (Again!) The New Thread

6 years ago

done.

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6 years ago

Recommending a story-game for unpublishing on behalf of Ogre11:

warrior cats life!!!

This game has:

  • Grammar and style poor enough that it cannot be ignored: 'a gray she-cat yowled in pain as she kitted, three little bundles of fur slithered out and the she-cat licked all three of them... the she-cat was called spottedflower. her mate came out from the den and smiled "oh spottedflower! their beautiful!" he mewed "yes shadeclaw" she wheezed. shadeclaw looked at the smallest who was running around (which is you) "what should we call them?" he asked (1:gray 2:blue 3:black) "well i like shallowkit for the first one" she mewed nodding "and the second kit should be riverkit" she mewed shadeclaw nodded "and the third?" he asked "pantherkit" spottedflower mewed "i like it" shadeclaw mewed "welcome to frostclan" he mewed waving his tail to the entrance.....(question: what do you do?)'
  • A plot which is poor or non-existent: There is no real conflict in this story. Your goal as the main character isn't at all clear.
  • Poor pacing: By picking one path on the first page, you instantly become an apprentice and the game skips to the point where you meet another cat you like and make babies.
  • Lack of important decisions: the effects of your decisions are not intuitive. What you name your babies affects how long you will live. I mean, while it could in real life, I don't think the author was trying to demonstrate the profound effects that even the most seemingly inconsequential decisions could have on your life. Also, you kinda get forced into a meaningless relationship, regardless of what path you take.
  • Unbelievable or overly clichéd dialogue: All of the cats talk like teenage girls, or at least, they seem to, when I can decipher the horrifying mess they call dialogue.

Draw My Attention (Again!) The New Thread

6 years ago
It's pretty bad... (thanks for the mention)

Draw My Attention (Again!) The New Thread

6 years ago

I was trying to edit my comment for readability, by removing that big chunk of text from the first page and elaborating on my problems with the grammar and style. I don't know if Seth will decide to delete it based off of my post, but I don't think any of us want to have to wait an extra few days for that thing to be unpublished. ;)

Draw My Attention (Again!) The New Thread

6 years ago

it's already gone.  but stormstar has a habit of republishing.

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6 years ago

Reccomending a category change for a storygame:

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/the-wolf-quiz

Everything Else

Like most quizzes are, I believe this should be in Everything Else.

 

I believe some of my last major recommendation were missed so I hope you don't mind me reposting some of it.

Recommending a comment for featuring:

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/goomba-village - Both suggestions are from the same link.

Well, that was... random. I hate to say it, but this game is kinda terrible. The plot is almost completely nonexistent and the consequences of the choices are totally random. If you want to improve your game, I'd suggest that you elaborate some more on the plot and give the reader some more information about whatever is going on in your story. 

I'm also still trying to figure out in what way your game is a) a fanfiction b) about a village and c) about goomba's. I'd advise you to either change the title and description of your game to 'jobless (wo)man is looking for a job' or in some way connect this to the Mario franchise (which I guess this game is supposed to be a fanfic of). 

I have given your game a 2/8, because your game has choices that (even though they are completely random) do matter for the outcome of the game. However, in my opinion this game only barely deserves higher than a 1/8. I hope that you take the advice given to you in the comments and that you'll look to other, higher rated games, for examples of decent writing. I am sure that you'll be able to write a better story. 

Good luck writing!

-- Romulus on 8/11/2014 8:13:46 AM

Recommending a comment for featuring:

That was probably the most random, but crappy, piece of literature I've read all day. No offence to the author(s) at all. I am directing that statement at the story itself, for reasons below. 

I am significantly dissapointed at what this turned out to be. The fact is, (like a lot of people) I don't even consider this to be a storygame. A storygame is supposed to have a plot/setting, choices which then stem out more choices, which lead to conseqences and a couple of successes. This, had almost nothing. Its a dry husk of what criteria a game should follow, and it had less than the bare-minimum of an acceptable storygame. Does it give you the plot/setting? Not at all. I get that you are trying to find a job, but what the heck, I don't even know if I am a goomba or not, since it never tells you in the story itself save for the description/title. The choices don't even matter, and although they do shape the plot some, they don't stem much of anything like they should. 

For example, my first path was the business wo/man. It asks you how long you want to go to business school, and after I give my answer, it says (not actual quote) "WOOHOO You are a business wo/man!" And then it ends. Seriously? Just how is this an adequate, or even justifiable ending? The fact is, that's the general premise of almost every path avaliable in this storygame. 

Don't even get me started on the writing, which I felt to be terrible. When you can't even tell if you are a Goomba or not (since it never told you anyways), you can see the flat, almost non-existent context and detail which it should have! There is literally no detail here. You want to be a business person? Great... you are one... yay... the end... 

The author could have fleshed out the plot, which includes character development, far better. In a game where you find a job for yourself, at least write it so the readers feel something, anything for the protaganist. But because of the almost no detail, you don't feel anything for the protaganist character. Adding more detail would help flesh out the characters (or in this case, character) better, so that the reader would actually feel themselves happy if he/she got a job. An example I can think off my head of this would be Dead Man Walking by BerkaZerka. I generally felt concern for the protaganist, and I was eccentric once I got a great ending. Why? Because the character development was rocketed. Which is something we should see here, but I just feel no emotion if I get a job. At all. Which isn't a good thing when you are creating a game like this. 

Going along with the writing, the grammar was pretty atrocious. The spelling was okay-ish, but just simple, basic punctuation reeked. And this bad puncuation went along the entire thing. In fact, I am even questioning whether or not the author of this piece is fluent in English, or lives in a place where they teach you to put your periods (these things: ".") directly one space away from the ending word, so you get something like this (example): "Become a business woman/man .". 

So now I'm not even sure what the title/description is supposed to mean about this story. Yes, the description does tell you are a Goomba in a village, but other than that, you have no pointers in the story leading you to the explanation of the title's namesake. It doesn't mention you being a Goomba in anyway shape or form, and it certainly doesn't tell you that you live in a village. 

Dear Author, you can't put these important details in the description, but not put them in the story at all. An equivalent of this behavior would be, as an example, Suzanne Collins telling the reader Katniss's (or however you spell her name) name at the back of the book... but omitting it from the rest of the story. Save for the description on the back, the reader wouldn't even know Katniss's gender. Hey, "he" could love Peeta for all anyone knows. 

I suppose this was supposed to be some sort of Mario bros. fanfiction. However, the story itself has no lead to anything Nintendo/Mario bros. related at all. If it weren't for the title/description, I would have thought that I was an actual Human. But of course I could also be a Turtle/Unicorn/Octupus hybrid with a green mustache living in Mars, because of the detail quality. 

Because of the overall texture of this story, I am guessing its by an author who is young or inexperienced. I suggest that this particular person improve their writing, grammar, and language skills, which includes punctuation, detail, context, plot, basic understanding of words, etcetera. If the author improves themselves, and improves this story with far better-nes, it would rank higher, at least. 

1/8. I'm sorry, I just can't give any reason for myself to show any sympathy or mercy for something like this. Hopefully the author would improve it.

-- Fazz on 8/11/2014 11:54:55 PM

Another great comment from a guy called Fazz, he goes into great detail and probably took him a while to write. I noticed some grammar mistakes but they didn't take away from the comment.

Recommending storygame for deletion:

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/cross~2dbreeding

  • Grammar and style poor enough that it cannot be ignored
  • A plot which is poor or nonexistent
  • Poor pacing (usually characterized by frequent and unpredictable end game links)
  • A lack of important decisions
  • Unbelievable or overly cliched dialogue (if dialogue is present in the story)

This story is really, really bad.

Recommending storygame for deletion:

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/choices-of-death

  • The storygame has all of the following characteristics:
    • Grammar and style poor enough that it cannot be ignored
    • A plot which is poor or nonexistent
    • Poor pacing (usually characterized by frequent and unpredictable end game links)
    • A lack of important decisions
    • Unbelievable or overly cliched dialogue (if dialogue is present in the story)

Recommending a storygame for category change:

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/erika-bakes-a-cake

Everything Else

To quite Seth from this thread, "A fanfic of a non-existent anime! ". If it is non-existent, is it really a Fan Fic?

Recommending storygame for deletion:

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/cheating~3f

  • After receiving at least 7 ratings and being published for at least 1 week, the storygame is rated 2/8 and its length is 1/8

Recommending a comment for deletion:

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/day-of-the-dog

Ur dog is stupid

-- Wut da fuck on 9/1/2014 3:18:02 PM

Insulting the dog, there was no need.

Reccomending a category change for a storygame:

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/make-it-to-the-bathroom~21

School Based

'Tis based in a school.

Recommending a category change for a storygame:

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/warrior-cat's-adventures-((part-1~2e))

Fan Fiction

This is based on 'Warrior Cats'

Draw My Attention (Again!) The New Thread

6 years ago

What are the rules for games that have been administratively unpublished then republished by the author without significant changes?

As you said, Stormstar republished two of his/her games.

a big fight!!!

warrior cats life!!!

Draw My Attention (Again!) The New Thread

6 years ago
Story for unpublishing: Open your eyes: This is an unfinished story with a rating of 3 that has been published since 2012. The story does end abruptly (with a to be continued), but you can tell that also by the comments...

Draw My Attention (Again!) The New Thread

6 years ago
For un-publishing: Zombies-r-me: Story is unfinished, rated 3, published since 2013. The story ends after a few pages with a link that says "Thanks for playing should I continue the story?"

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6 years ago

Did those two.

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6 years ago

In wandering about the site I’ve found a few things that might help.

I’d recommend these story-games for deletion:

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/a-big-fight~21~21~21 for having a player rating of 1 and a length of 1.

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/warrior-cats-life~21~21~21, for having a player rating of 1 and a length of 2.

And this one http://chooseyourstory.com/story/the-elusive-zoid for having a player rating of 1 and a length of 1.

I would also recommend that these comments were featured:

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/riverclan

Although this may indeed be considered blasphemy by rest of the people here, I have to say that I gave this story a 3/8.
First of all, I read up until a death-page, which surprisingly took a short while. It wasn't as though the author put 0% effort, for he/she actually decided to make a fairly "lengthy" WC story with an actual attempt.
Does that excuse the poor, basic grammar, generic plot, or shallow and one-dimensional characters? Absolutely not. This WC story is as repetitive and formulaic as its predecessors, with some pages that have little to no writing and "romance" scenes.
But, for what its worth, the story IS a CYOA (as bad as it is), with some attempt to spell correctly, and DOES have a potential for improvement (especially since these games are repeatedly unpublished and republished).
That is the reasoning for my score.
As for you, stormstar, I think what say on your profile is true: writing is an art, and people should accept others as they are. However, let's put it this way: if you want others to understand your art, you have to be willing to explain it to them. In order to do that, you need better grammar and punctuation. To create art like Ground Zero, Eternal, Dead Man Walking and GOLAD, sure, it took amazing plots and development, but it also took the basics; a means of communication; proper grammar and punctuation.
I probably spent a little too much time on this story, but I just wanted to properly convey my thoughts, with as little WC bias as possible. Thank you for reading (whomever decides to read this), and have a nice day.

-- LeoScales7 on 3/9/2015 6:00:43 AM

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/undead-persona

Wow. Took me a couple of days but I'm glad I got to the end. The thing this story does well is create an ever-evolving story with rich characters. Needless to say, it was a very good read.
The only thing that degrades this good work would be the constant typos throughout the story, disrupting the flow of the words. I'm sure with just a simple proofread you could have eliminate them all.
Also, this felt more fantasy than post-apocalyptic. What was the apocalypse in this universe? Though what I did like was combining fantasy elements -- like Vampires, with "future" elements, such as the Zealots and armor and such.
Overall a very well-written story. Good work.

-- FazzTheMan on 3/9/2015 12:24:34 AM with a score of 2

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/the-other-world

Well thought out, written and executed: a nice combination of story and game. I am eager to reread the story once you re-post it.
I know you were hard pressed to hit the deadline, and even so, there were only a small handful of typos (some of those pesky 'you're' instead of 'your' instances that are difficult to catch.) The story was quite engaging and featured interesting characters.
The one thing I would suggest that could improve it; you had a few instances of slipping into passive voice where active voice would have worked with a little rearrangement of words. I noticed this more in the earlier pages than the latter. This tended to happen in description scenes and not action ones.
Tapestries are on the walls.
Tapestries adorn the walls.
That sort of thing. Even so, I found your descriptions very effective at painting mental images. The page backgrounds were an excellent touch.
Overall, I think, once you complete the story to what you have envisioned, it will rightfully hold its place among the best stories/games on the site. *Applauds* Well done.

-- Bucky on 3/3/2015 12:27:01 PM with a score of 49

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/clear-sky

Honestly? The best thing about this story was probably the writing. While you did have some grammar mistakes which could have been cleared up with proofreading here and there, it wasn't so bad, apparantly for something written in one day. I'd also like to acknowledge the character creation and noir atmosphere which were quickly set up early in the game. Well done.
With that being said, this game does have its faults. It was very linear, confusing, and not at all post-apocalyptic -- the only reason it could be considered the genre is because you said this work was for the contest and you managed to slap three sentences or so in the first page about how the USA was a shithole. Nothing else suggested this to be post-apocalyptic.
You put in some effort which is good. Next time, if I were you, I'd proofread my work before publishing, and making sure it actually fits the contest I'm writing it for.
4/8.

-- FazzTheMan on 3/3/2015 11:44:58 PM with a score of 0

Finally I would recommend that Kiel_Farren’s story http://chooseyourstory.com/story/the-other-world is featured as it has superb writing and excellent use of coding. In fairness it is unfinished and Kiel is still working on it though so perhaps that suggestion should wait until it is finished…

Draw My Attention (Again!) The New Thread

6 years ago
Games have to have been published for a week to be removed based on rating.

Draw My Attention (Again!) The New Thread

6 years ago

Featured Fazz, Leo, and Bucky's comments. 

Draw My Attention (Again!) The New Thread

6 years ago

I'm flattered by the recommendation, but quick note: Last I checked, whenever you recommend a game for featuring, you have to also recommend a game to be replaced if the genre slots are full and that is sadly the case here. =\ Can't say I'm confident that TOW -can- replace any of the current title holders, but ... who knows? I've been wrong before.

Draw My Attention (Again!) The New Thread

6 years ago

In my ever-helpful way I’ve found a few more things. First I’d recommend this for deletion:

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/escape-from-blowing-green, specifically the game abounds with broken links, pages without links and loops where the link just leads back to the page it‘s on. The story-game itself is eleven years old, the writing quality isn’t great and the story is essentially zombies attacking the author and all his pals at college.

For a category change I’d recommend moving these games from the School section to Edutainment, they are all presumably school projects but have more in common with Historical Fiction rather than anything school-related:

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/the-expedition-along-the-coast-of-africa-

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/the-new-world

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/the-gutter-punk-of-london

I would also move this as it is a Quiz and might be better in the Puzzle section:

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/solar-system-quiz

And this. I have no idea why this story’s author put it in the School category when it clearly belongs in Sci-Fi:

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/they-came-from-le-moon

My work is done here, food time :)

Draw My Attention (Again!) The New Thread

6 years ago

Did most of that.  Quizzes belong to "everything else," not "mystery/puzzle"

Draw My Attention (Again!) The New Thread

6 years ago

Comment for deletion

cool....

-- stormstar292 on 2/24/2015 5:58:50 PM

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/warrior-cats-life~21~21~21

I know we have to wait 7 days, but can we just delete this?

Draw My Attention (Again!) The New Thread

6 years ago

Well, I would say that the comment isn't really spam, or flamers. It's kinda just calling the story "cool". I agree on the story though.

Draw My Attention (Again!) The New Thread

6 years ago

Story for deletion

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/how-to-get-the-girl

  • The storygame has "dead" pages- pages with no links or way to proceed.

Draw My Attention (Again!) The New Thread

6 years ago

I'd suggest this gets deleted as swearing at and insulting children might not help their self-esteem very much.

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/riverclan

First of all, I want to say: Get the fuck off this site, you're ten. The fuck you doing? You should be listening to shitty music and playing with Barbies and stickers, not writing piece of shit stories. Second of all, your profile pisses me off. You need people to criticize your work. If we don't, how the fuck are you going to get better at it? This is a community, why do you think we have a comment section? So we can talk about the fucking game and tell you how to improve. Bitch. HuffNuffJigglyPuff.

-- Slasher on 3/9/2015 9:20:05 PM

Draw My Attention (Again!) The New Thread

6 years ago

... I'm starting to think we should stop flaming the Warrior Kitties. 

Draw My Attention (Again!) The New Thread

6 years ago

That's the problem with the internet: you can't see the people you're insulting which is why people who wouldn't heap abuse on a child or a tough guy in real life are free to do whatever they want on forums :) Yes, many FF stories are unbelievably crap but not everyone on here is going to be an EndMaster or SindriV... I have to say I enjoy shooting down a bad story as much as anyone else but there's got to be a line and the WC story-games seem to inspire unhealthy levels of hate... possibly because they're consistently bringing down the quality of this site though I suppose they do help keep the community going.

Draw My Attention (Again!) The New Thread

6 years ago

They give us something to talk about, and  a common enemy to rally against. XD

Draw My Attention (Again!) The New Thread

6 years ago

Haha who'd have thought they'd be cliches on the Internet as well? Tbh Fan Fiction in general isn't a favourite genre of mine... but then again neither is Sci-Fi. I guess it's just about individual preferences :)

Draw My Attention (Again!) The New Thread

6 years ago

Draw My Attention (Again!) The New Thread

6 years ago

Haha nope and I'm not a big Fantasy or Romance fan either. To move out of my comfort zone I've started writing a Fantasy Epic for this site but it is... difficult. Very difficult but a good long-term project :)

Draw My Attention (Again!) The New Thread

6 years ago

I once wrote a speech about Science Fiction for 7th Grade English. 

Different strokes for different folks. XD

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6 years ago

:D

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6 years ago

I feel so honored. But that explains where my comment went xD.

Draw My Attention (Again!) The New Thread

6 years ago

Just a few little thingamies:

Perhaps The Adventures of Columbus should be deleted; it has a Rating of 2 and a Length of 1 so it is below minimum site standards. The writing isn’t great and also it’s historically inaccurate (Columbus didn’t hit America until Voyage number 3) but there are definitely worse games on this site… http://chooseyourstory.com/story/the-adventures-of-columbus

I’d also recommend these two for category changes from Edutainment to Mystery/Puzzle because they’re quizzes.

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/the-big-little-history-quiz

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/the-wolf-quiz

Draw My Attention (Again!) The New Thread

6 years ago

Already recommended the Wolf Quiz. In general, quizzes go into 'Everything Else' with a few expections.

Draw My Attention (Again!) The New Thread

6 years ago

Ah thanks, I'd recommend the Big-Little Quiz for everything else then :)

Draw My Attention (Again!) The New Thread

6 years ago

For some reason I’m really getting into this. I’d recommend these two story games for deletion:

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/dirty-laundry

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/for-jack

Dirty Laundry contains broken links, bad grammar and the “story” is incredibly boring (it’s about cleaning an apartment… which has to be cleaned in the right order…). For Jack is also full of broken links. It was written as a valentines gift two years ago by a user no longer active and is full of references to things and people only that couple know about.

Draw My Attention (Again!) The New Thread

6 years ago

Recommending a category change for a storygame:

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/riverclan

Fan Fiction

This is based on 'Warriors'

Draw My Attention (Again!) The New Thread

6 years ago

Recommending a story game for unpublishing! :

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/a-big-fight~21~21~21

It meets both of these requirements xD :
1: After receiving at least 7 ratings and being published for at least 1 week, the storygame is rated 1/8
2: The storygame is not a storygame and is instead intended to fulfill a goal such as communicating with another member (including all inside jokes) or advertising a product. (:P Uhm, I think it was published to make "Keil" mad...? not that it worked, 'cuz he thinks its funny, but stil...)

Draw My Attention (Again!) The New Thread

6 years ago

A few more ideas:

Recommended threads for deletion:

http://chooseyourstory.com/forums/the-lounge/message/15504

http://chooseyourstory.com/forums/the-lounge/message/15495

http://chooseyourstory.com/forums/the-lounge/message/15499

Exactly the sort of pointless arguments that would upset existing users, put potential new users off this site and send out a bad impression to any guests on this site.

Recommended story games for deletion:

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/~2d~2d~2dlabyrinth-of-doom~2d~2d~2d

The game consists of nothing but broken links and random choices.

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/hellsing-quiz

This two-question quiz has broken links and ends without telling you if you are right or not.

Recommended story games for a category change:

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/battle-of-hastings

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/culloden-moor

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/gunmen-of-el-paso

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/haggis-dinner

These are Everything Else games but possibly should be in Edutainment as they’re fairly historically accurate. The Gunmen of El Paso story game is one of mine in Everything Else but with hindsight it should be in Edutainment too but I don’t want to un-publish it to move it in case I lose it’s existing ratings.

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/escape-(strategy)-

This is a Puzzle-Mystery game about using logic to escape a maze but is in the Everything Else category.

Draw My Attention (Again!) The New Thread

6 years ago

Done.

Draw My Attention (Again!) The New Thread

6 years ago

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/necromancer

:0

-- ThatGuyWhoReadsAlot on 3/4/2015 10:49:40 PM

 

asdf

-- asdf on 2/4/2015 8:26:44 PM

 

w0w

much wr1tins skailz

such d3ath

wow so co0l

much axtion . .

necromancer b33n r3kt ___________________________

wow

f1nal ratin of teh doge:

60/-0

DOGE APPROVES

(wow much captilization)
 

-- Doge on 9/15/2014 5:23:08 PM

 

Don't fuck with demons, youl regret it.

-- walker on 7/8/2013 1:34:00 PM

Draw My Attention (Again!) The New Thread

6 years ago

Recommending comments for deletion on behalf of trollolol:

Necromancer

:0

-- ThatGuyWhoReadsAlot on 3/4/2015 10:49:40 PM

Reason: This is not a comment.

asdf

-- asdf on 2/4/2015 8:26:44 PM

Reason: This is not a comment.

w0w
much wr1tins skailz
such d3ath
wow so co0l
much axtion . .
necromancer b33n r3kt ___________________________
wow
f1nal ratin of teh doge:
60/-0
DOGE APPROVES
(wow much captilization)

-- Doge on 9/15/2014 5:23:08 PM

Reason: Spammy.

Note: I omitted the last comment as it doesn't seem to meet requirements for deletion.

Draw My Attention (Again!) The New Thread

6 years ago

My name is just Lollolol. Since I haven't read Necromancer before, was it something to do with the story that made it not meeting the recommended requirements for deletion?

Draw My Attention (Again!) The New Thread

6 years ago
Yes, that comment was relevant to the story. I am sorry for misspelling your name, though.

Draw My Attention (Again!) The New Thread

6 years ago

It's fine, it is a confusing name. I just typed a few random letters in.

I know this isn't relevant but this is how I typed it with spaces.

Lol lol ol

And then I just put it all in one word
 

Draw My Attention (Again!) The New Thread

6 years ago

No links, and I'm lazy, so not right now.

Draw My Attention (Again!) The New Thread

6 years ago

Recommending stories for deletion:

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/cortes-and-the-quest-for-glory

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/the-adventures-of-columbus

?Both stories have been published for more than a week, have a rating of two, and a length of one.

Draw My Attention (Again!) The New Thread

6 years ago

Done. columbus already recommended by will.

Draw My Attention (Again!) The New Thread

6 years ago

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/all-the-wonderful-words-kids-should-know

You should remove this story. It is one page long and just shows loads of nonsense. It doesn't even have a point.

Draw My Attention (Again!) The New Thread

6 years ago

Draw My Attention (Again!) The New Thread

6 years ago

Put it in the new thread.