Forums » The Lounge » Read Thread

Alright, it seems to me, that in the ABSENCE of a reasonable thunderdome conclusion, you fuckers are all ITCHING to fight other Cystians and fuck each other's mothers. So I've created a place for it to be so. If you want to fight another Cystian, do it now! TAKE YOUR STAND! PICK A POINT OF CONTENTION AND FIGHT OVER IT! Henceforth we will know where every one of us stands on the most contentious issues! Issues that many have fought and died for before you, shall be resolved today. The WAR will be fought until an answer is found or we are ALL DEAD.

Go now. Answer this quiz- And if any of these potential arguments strike your fancy (or you come up with one yourself) DECLARE you stance here and now so that other people can FIGHT you

I dunno, why don't you ask a rabbi and FIGHT ABOUT IT?

Done!
If you don't wash your hands every time, and I mean EVERY time, that is vile.

What if your poop is already water? There's no need to wet them a second time! It washes itself right off your hands as long as you give them a good shake, no one will ever know!

Shut up Hitler! >:(

I haven't played fallout or skyrim, so I just picked the very first option. Though I doubt that will be the most contentious answer I've chosen.

I actually looked up fallout's wiki, looked at their long list of factions, minor factions, something called boomer caught my interest (I think it was a minor faction, I dont remember), then my slow like molasses internet browser crashed so I opened it up again, restored all my open tabs, tried looking through fallouts wiki again, then my browser crashed again so I once again opened everything up, closed fallouts tab and my computer was running a lot faster so I figured it was probably best to keep the tab closed yada yada.

"Close the porn tabs."

She was just checking up on her mom.

I really shouldn't have, because root beer is a genre and not a brand. It was really stupid of me because the point of the question was to incite a classical battle of the brands, since all these questions are scissor statements. This is the same reason I didn't include creme soda, but unfortunately I forgot to remove root beer and the pandora's box cannot be closed. This question is officially wasted, unless somebody is still willing to do battle over it.

Honestly, I'd say A&W is pretty inoffensive compared to Mug root beer.

DONE

I was totally not forced to do this against my will 

Done. I don't fucking care about star wars so I'd say the best is the best star wars series. Worst is the worst star wars series.

I’m not signing into shit and some of the options weren’t available anyway, so here are my answers in order of how you asked.

1. Black

2. Yeah and there obviously aren’t enough abortions based on the CoGite community alone.

3. Yeah

4. Yeah, but I don’t give a shit if the world burns

5. Yeah

6. No, not in favor of goblins

7. Toilet Paper.

8. Ralph dreams of being a viking

9. Arby’s

10. Bite, since only whores are licking it for attention and I’m not autistic.

11. Unsanitary goblins strike again

12. Somewhere in those medium categories

13. Yes Man

14. The Dark Brotherhood

15. Anti-Skub 

16. The second one, but “Lawful Neutral” is probably the one where you have autists following the banal laws of the land with no further reasoning.

17. I sure hope so. 

18. Yes always, I’m not a goblin.

19. 5 6 4

20. No, I’m not Bonfaggle

21. Coke

22. The first one

23. No, that’s not a real word

24. Yes I like women (The real ones, not the mentally ill dudes)

25. Yes I am a man

26. Lol, well I guess the world never knows about Bigfoot

27. Wizard, since you can become a lich

End Master 

Wow, I forgot about a lot of stuff, I'll post the results today since I don't think we'll get any more votes soon. Massive apologies for that. 

Wait..... There are multiple polls. I'm one week absent and it seems like feuds are running high.I get odd flashbacks to the necromancer question.

I just came here to say Bubly is not an option and my disappointment is immeasurable. You can all choke and die on your high fructose corn syrup sodas you fat, disgusting, polyhedrons destined for liver failure. I'll take the quiz later when I've got time. 

Bubly is a nice sparkling water to drink chilling by the lake or the beach. It's got just the right amount of carbonation and flavor. I'm more a newcomer to seltzers but whenever I drink a La Croix it feels like I'm squeezing lime directly in my nasal cavity. I do like the pamplemousse flavor though.

I never even heard of it, let alone seen it.

Bro's drinking TV static.

I'm not even gonna comment on the rest of this, but do you actually think Episode IX is the best Star Wars?

That makes this list a lot better, but still questionable. I'm confused why you think Episode 7 is better than 4, when it's basically a retelling, just worse.

Wtf, the original trilogy had aged far better than the Disney sequels. This is an abysmal take to have.

This has to be in the running for the most garbage opinion I've ever seen. Like, maybe it's acceptable now that the only way to see the Original Trilogy is with a bunch of photoshop filters over it, but I cannot fathom the awful bugmindedness necessary to have earnestly absorbed the content of both movies and then go like "old one uggy, this one must be better." The grunge and greebling is what makes star wars. It's a preservation of honest modernist pulp, a genre that doesn't exist anymore and was ill-replicated as little more than sanitized visual sludge in later movies. Nothing about the later movies looks like star wars or even feels like it, because it is nothing. It's all garbage meta-filmography that creates nothing and never moves past what was done before, it only replaces the old expanded universe with a neutered and dispassionate echo of itself so that disney can scrape the last of its share of money that's already been made out of stories that have already been told. These movies are actually insufferable fanfic of the most disgusting kind and you are a swine who can't even taste the turds he's recycling for his masters.

I wasn't even close to being alive for the original trilogy you gelatinous snotbubble, I'm not 60. Phantom Menace came out the year after I was born, I sure as shit wasn't seeing that in theaters. My first experiences with star wars were largely peripheral and I saw the series prequels-first after my brain formed, and after I had been pretty much spoiled on the plot like you had. It didn't alter my choice in the slightest. The aesthetic of the movies is important and conveys information because it's literally what you're seeing, and the medium of how that's communicated is important. Fantasy is influenced by the zeitgeist of the time and Star Wars has seen 2 and a half different styles at this point. An art style of the past well formulated isn't just something that you just "bear" like an ignorant neotenous turbotard. Not being able to enjoy a japanese ink painting because it doesn't look like anime doesn't make you a young person who's just "used to" new technology, it does make you disgusting, though. Everything ages with the passing of time and the changing of fashions, even and especially the prequels which are full of crusty CGI and horribly executed dialogue, but it's how the art form is used and what we're being shown that matters with a spectacle like this. But humans aren't altering their whole species every year, it's all been designed by the same brains to appeal to the same eyes. The design language might have changed, but something that looked cool once is always going to look cool in some way. The prequels were made during my lifetime to appeal to kids like me, and in a lot of ways they did, but as much as I liked the expanded universe shit it added, I preferred the original movies by a lot.

The special effects of the original trilogy were actually pretty boundary breaking for its time. I heard some shots took months to render. Good art direction and cinematography makes sure that even if technology marches on, the movie still looks good. Lots of care and thought was put into it unlike the current CGI blockbuster hellhole we find ourselves in.

(For example: I dare say that sleeping beauty looks better and has more visual flair than all modern 3d Disney movies. The first Jurassic park movie, the fly and Aliens all look amazing despite the newest of the three having come out in the early 90s. American werewolf in London still has in my opinion the best werewolf transformation scene, no new movie has ever trumped that.)

Fucking Christ you even put Attack of the Clones as the second best.

I can't say I'm surprised by this though.

Well you're still fucking up if you put number 8 as the second best. That was probably the worst of the lot.

Actually I liked 8 because at least it tried to be different from the ones Abrams did which just felt like soulless remakes. That being said, all of the ways it tried to be different were pretty stupid.

Yep, and then leers at Rey while doing it. Lol

Literally incomprehensible opinion either way I read this. You put this in a random number mixer as bait.

111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111

6 5 1 4 3 2 7 8 9 

best to worst

👍

Arguably Phantom Menace would have been one of the better Star Wars movies if Jar Jar hadn't been in it.

The worst part about all the 'your mom' jokes is that I can never think of a good comeback. All the ones I've thought of are weak and easily refutable. I think my best bet is to hope that the jokes will eventually go away on their own.

Good luck

 '10 years'

When you go to CYS, the most important thing is gonna be moms. A mom’s butt. Getting some MILFS is more important than eating food. It’s more important than drinking water man.

I like moms.

If I see a mom I like, I tell ‘em like this here, I likes ya and I wants ya. Now we can do this the easy way or we can do this the hard way. The choice is yours. Now what’s it gonna be?

And the answer was always yes.

They got this thing where they wear yoga pants, it’s a style. Soccer mom style or something, but its sexy to us right? They come around wearing yoga pants, someone gonna be all up in that and it’s just that simple.

I’m telling you, if you’d been here like ten years ago, I probably would have felt up on one of your moms and DARED you to say something.

I am what I am, but I’m a necromancer too, so let that be known.

Endmaster: Father, necromancer, MILF hunter

Father MILFomancer?

Alright, you fuckers. It's time. Time to compile the answers and see once and for all. The charts have been assembled, the spreadsheets have been calculated, and from this day forward, we'll KNOW.

First question's first. Which color is best?


Now, at first brush this might seem like a terrible showing for blue, (or a great showing for blue, if you're illiterate!) But once you read between the lines you'll see that blue is actually still the best color even if this doesn't immediately reveal itself without nuance. Observe!



Not only are blue and red essentially tied, but you can't make purple or real pink without mixing in blue. And even if we're discounting colors with red in them, they would still be outnumbered by the people who picked green, which contains blue but no red. Checkmate, bitches. Blue wins again.

Next: The Political Questions






Without elaborating, I can now verify that between 25 and 40 percent of CYS is terminally retarded.


Next, possibly the most contentious issue in this entire survey:



We're split right down the middle here between pro goblin and anti goblin. The parties will need to convince the 4 swing voters if this war is ever going to reach a verifiable conclusion.


I am extremely suspicious of these 'maybe' people, idk about you.



This looks like a sweep, but it was a surprise come from behind victory for DISGUSTING Mcdonald's here, most of the voters came in well after the last half of the responses. DISGUSTING Arby's voters were assembling outside my office demanding for me to stop the steal. But I didn't stop it, because I voted for DISGUSTING Taco Bell.



25% of Cystians are maniacs and/or have dentures



Believe it or not, this 25% is not even the same 25%.



0 Carbonic Hockey Puck Pickers



Luckily most of us are correct.



Luckily most of us are still correct.



Another victory over the weakling Skub-Intolerant.



Between 25 and 40% of Cystians are terminally retarded.



A sweeping victory for the "I'm not evil, but..." wizards of CYS.



16.6% OF CYSTIANS ARE VILE!


This was in response to the frog image.



A rare case of the least picked one not being the most disgusting one. (I know, hard to believe, but the 20% of mountain dew drinkers isn't the same as the 20% of on-demand Frog Fuckers)




This chart is really undecipherable without its components being boiled down into more useful information. Allow me:



Again, Cystians are locked in another stalemate. This is almost as contentious as the Goblin Question.



You two know who you are.



Interesting correlations here. A fabulous victory for women everywhere nonetheless.



10 brave souls chose the advancement of human knowledge, 14 of us chose our dignity


This is a lot like the colors question. See, it looks like a horrible showing for Fighter, but let's take a closer look at what these classes really are first.


As you can see, Wizards might look like the largest demographic on paper, but they are actually the minority and shall continue to be shoved in lockers like the absolute nerds they are.

Excellent and enlightning analysis.

I demand to know which Cystians aren't washing their hands.

Now you know

Sentinel, I applaud you for compiling this all together. This looks like it took a long time.

Also, how are there only 22 answers on the Skyrim question? I thought every question was mandatory. 

So did I, turns out two people figured out that it wasn't.

curiouser and curiouser 

I would find a way to market the Bigfoot video. In terms of content, it's a two-for-one.

That was my thought also

"Yes man" when used in the context of a faction is pretty obviously the common vernacular for the political almagam that arises from an independent New Vegas where the player deposes House, which, as a sovereign political entity that literally changes the main ending of the game, if that's not a faction then there's not a better word for it. But I'm not surprised at the lack of intuition from a person who FUCKS FROGS.

These are the most useless semantics, faction worked fine for its intended purpose. Everyone without your autism knew what I was really asking in that many words.

Only on the rare occassion when they're important, which isn't now! This is an empirically tested argument thread about the hard facts.

Please don't insult the author of the poll, he worked very hard on this project. Extremely disrespectful!

I like the legion more due to the theming. It's like being in a very bad historical reenactment faire 24/7. 

Edit: from all people, I never expected Morgan and Petros to choose the legion as well. Very out-of-character. 

He just likes the uniforms is all!