Player Comments on The Price of Freedom: Innocence Lost

This was a spectacular story, I would recommend it to anyone and everyone. There is a lot to talk about, but before you read anything I have to say, just go play the game.

The characters are the shining stars of this story. For a story about gladiators, the rise of these children into warriors seems secondary to how their relationships with each other grow. It is both the looming threat and the driving force that brings them together and provokes reaction between them. Each one feels authentic and it was rewarding to come to know them. The author has an amazing talent to develop the characters through how they interact with scenarios and environments, how they fight, how they spend their time in the academy, and so on:
There is Brasus watching you and your brother play ball during the festival, but he is far too shy to ask to join in. Then drawing pictures on the ground with Zeru. And the hilarity of chatting with Lula and racing her around the training area. These characters interact very dynamically with each other within the group of children, giving the reader an opportunity to observe others in the spotlight for a few moments before returning to the reins.

Of them all though, Rhodes was easily the most complex and interesting. Upon first impressions, Rhodes seems kind of like a cold asshole that is designed to be hated. But, every now and then through the choices you make, that exterior cracks and you get to peek under the surface. Towards the final confrontation, she seems almost as much a victim to the academy and the arena as the children. How many children has she trained just to watch them die? What if she had made them work just a little harder or train a little longer? Getting to see those small glimpses into her thoughts and relationships really deepens my understanding and appreciation of the character.

It seems so unjust, a common theme throughout the story. It tackles the brutality of the situation through a child's perspective very well. The story lets the reader soak in savage cruelty of the situation of these children, only furthering our attachment to the characters and heightening the tense stakes of the final confrontation of this first part.

The only gripe that you could make about this story is the linearity of it (and that the second one hasn't come out yet). Though I easily overlooked this due to the engaging storytelling and writing, I figured I should mention it. Besides, this game excels in the individuality of your character and it is encouraging and satisfying to feel you tackled an obstacle in your own way.

A joy to play through, many thanks to the author for the great story.
Also, Gerda and Titus can go chew on bricks.

THE PRICE OF FREEDOM: INNOCENCE LOST: 96%

SHOULD I READ THIS?
Yes, definately. It’s a very good story, with excellent mechanics. There is some violence in places.
Preview: You and your brother must survive training to become gladiators in ancient rome. Your decisions of who you want to be, and how to treat the people around you will affect the ultimate outcome of the game.

=SPOILERS BELOW=

RATINGS:

Basic Plot & Coherence: 5/5
The plot is this: You and your brother are sold into slavery and become gladiators. You must navigate your training, while developing skills and relationships that become more and more important. Everything fits well together. The events are logical and believeable, and the story does an excellent job of keeping the narration coherent, despite having so many options for who your character grows up to be. The tension between the two gladiator trainers is built up well, and the climactic battle provides a good pay off, while the consequences and death caused by the match increase the tension in preperation for the next installment.

Characters & Development: 5/5
The characters really shine in this story. Beyond the relationship tracking mechanic, each of them has a clearly defined personality, and multiple different possible character arcs depending on the main character’s choices. The characters are what give this game replay value. You can have a vastly different play experience by making different friends, and seeing different characters develop in different ways. I particularly liked Lula, she, the main character, and Alexius seemed to fit well together as a group struggling to orient themselves in difficult circumstances. All the characters later on had their own complexities. I started off liking Titus and disliking Rhodes, only to have my opinion on them swapped by the end of the game. Each of the gladiators met later on have their own distinct personalities. Zeru, Gerda, and Brasus each are intersting in their own way and contribute to the narrative.

Grammar: 5/5
If there were mistakes, I didn’t see any.
Mastery of Language: 2/3
Excellent use of matching language to the general tone.

Mechanics & Coding: 5/5
The story does an excellent job of creating both a satisfying narrative, and having skill and relationship building statistics that make sense and are important to the story.

Branching: 2/2 (usually 3)
Despite the relative linearity of the plot, the skills and relationship you build and the important choices you do make (such as choosing who to save) really make you feel like your choices matter, and will be important furthur down the road. That said, it is a relatively linear story. I’m still rating a 2/2 because linearity isn’t necessarily a problem when the story makes up for it in other places.

Player Options/Fair choice: 3/3
You certainly have a lot of choices about how to build your skill and relationships, despite the linearity.
There’s no point where it feels like you had no way to forsee the consequences of your actions.

Nitpicks: I see that the second one is not done yet. Disappointing.

Endings: There’s only really one ending, you see how you did after the final fight, and have to learn to deal with it in the next installment.

PERSONAL EXPERIENCE:
On my first playthrough, I went down the path where you get along well with pretty much everyone, other than Gerda and Rhodes. Towards the end of the playthrough, though, I made up with both of them and was frustrated by the final battle forcing you to only be able to save one of the characters in danger. The story was captivating, and each of the options really made me think about what was the best strategic choices.

CONCLUSION: 27/28 = 96.4%

I’ve been struggling to review this, and really, that’s a compliment. Normally when reading even stories I otherwise enjoy here I have this little editor in my head going reeeeeee with varying degrees of sound and intensity as I come across the usual ever-spreading banquet of questionable word choices and straight up errors. That always leaves me plenty to write about without even needing to think about it. To come across a polished and professionally written work like this that just lets me immediately become immersed and forget I’m even reading a story is so precious and rare. Price of Freedom emulates that feel of opening a good book and reminds me a lot of some of the novels I read when I was about the protagonist’s age and just getting into the world of historical fiction. (Sadly, I never did come across anything nearly this good on Rome, mostly I just had pioneers and gold rushes and the Civil War coming out the ears...)

The author crafted some truly memorable characters with distinctive personalities. The little brother you need to protect, a new friend you’re thrown together with through circumstance, other potential friends that require a little more reaching out to and effort to understand, and finally those who should be enemies who sometimes turn out to be more than they seem. Because of the nature of the setting and plot, it becomes a painful necessity to think of these characters on another level as well, that of how your interactions with them relate to your continued survival. A sweet and endearing child might be at the same time a constant source of frustration as you realize how little chance they have and can only wish they’d snap to the reality of their situation and toughen up before it’s too late, and someone who’d be an incredible asset in a fight can be so obnoxious that after achieving the optimal ending you still go back and make different choices to make sure they die...haha...not that I would do such a thing on purpose. But anyway...

Brasus pissed me off and broke my heart, Lula made me laugh and had all the greatest lines, but Rhode meanwhile is just such a unique mixture of ally and antagonist and angry drill sergeant mother; not a character anyone will be able to forget for awhile. (I think it was mentioned in a thread that the homage to Semra’s intro in Eternal wasn’t intentional...but I’m sure Endmaster accepts your offering anyway.) It was smart to make the unequal nature of her and Titus’ relationship clear or a few of her actions wouldn’t have let her come off as quite so sympathetic, but as it is I adore Rhode while Titus remains in need of MANY bitch slaps and kicks to the groin. Time will tell if the sequel improves my opinion of him or whether he just keeps going further in the direction of earning the role of Supreme Selfish Asshole. It will be interesting seeing how his kids develop too.

There was enough authentic flavor in the setting to make it feel believably Roman (minus a couple of minor missteps like sailors being weirdly careless of the well being of extremely valuable cargo and details like the believability of the books the slaves had access too...even for Greeks and Romans such things would’ve been only for the wealthy. Something like rolls of papyrus with fighting stances drawn on them or whatnot would’ve been more realistic I think.) This is very much a character focused story though, and setting it inside the academy walls was a good way to keep everyone interacting and the plot moving along without having to go overboard with historical detail. An especially good idea considering the uh, NSFW nature of much of ancient Rome.

There were a couple of places, the line near the end, “So many have come to watch and cheer while two groups of children try to kill each other. Was the world always like this? It seemed so different once.” And the description of the playing children stopping to watch the cart at the beginning that I thought were nice touches really driving home the fact that the injustice and barbarity of slavery were just so casually accepted by the average person, even the protagonist until they themselves were caught up in it with no one to give a shit.

Since this was written in the Choice of Games style it might seem somewhat linear to those used to more branching in their stories, but even though the challenges faced remain the same, there’s so much variation in how to deal with them and how you develop your relationships and skills along the way that it felt enough like a different story each time I played. There’s the strategy aspect too; the first attempt, I hit a vertical wall in the arena fight because I’d spread myself too thin on skills. Going back and having more focus made a real difference, and I was pleased that my decent and honest and open guy who was not afraid to admit that men could cry could still protect his little brother and friends with some underhanded tactics when shit got real.

A liiittle more wiggle room in skills might’ve been reasonable though. Somehow going back and picking just one extra training focus and target practicing a few hours meant the difference between being made to look like a loser chump by Gerda and having flawless godlike accuracy when a check came up a little later.

Ultimately, these are all just nitpicks however. The story was satisfying and even with the obvious set up for the sequel felt complete as far as character development and overcoming the major conflict went. For me, everything was improved in a small way by going back and doing just a little worse so that Gerda couldn’t be saved...not JUST because she was a giant bitch, I just thought it seemed fitting for both bully and victim to be carried out side by side because ultimately reality didn’t give a shit about either or consider one more worthy/capable than the other. The reaction from Rhode seemed more fitting too, so this is ultimately going to be what I consider the canon path.

Although it does occur to me that if all these same characters are carried forward into a sequel, it’s going to mean a *lot* of writing to cover the variations possible in the group makeup now. The sequel is something I’ll be looking forward to (and I know I’m not alone in that) but this first installment was a pure pleasure to read. Thanks so much for writing it.

Amazing story

It's great and managed to survive at the end with Greda and Brasus dead. Just a little that Brasus had to die

Great game. I was forced to sacrifice and juggle a lot of different things and that, I guess, gave the game a sense of reality that you don't see often in games like this. You have to choose between who to save, stat increase or relationship increase, and more. It truly is a strange and marvelous game.

DANG this shit was engaging. A lot of really good character work. I played narratively at first, but then died because my stats were so low. So I kept restarting, trying to get that right mix until I finally survived. Very fun.

-Spoiler-
It was the whipping decision that finally allowed me to survive the arena. I kept putting myself in there, to my own detriment. Harsh example of why you gotta put yourself first sometimes.

o.o welp i think i died in chapter 7- it was the part where i got into my first fight

and i thought i was so smart to just not save and keep on trying different choices- UNTIL I REALIZED IT WAS BECAUSE I DIDN'T HAVE ENOUGH SKILL O.o none of the choices would be happy for me because i was pathetic XDD

very intricate story :DD only story i've ever done here, though, so i'm not the best judge

This was my first taste of Interactive fiction and now I'm afraid I won't get enough! I LOVE the stats mechanic and how the storytelling throughout is spot on. I'll be recommending this to anyone with ears to listen :)

REALLY GOOD, definitely recommend. The only problem is that i feel it was a bit short, though I know a part 2 is coming out. I hope

nice

like reading a book. kept me glued to the screen

Ends right when it feels like the real story starts

Well done

Love the game. Please make the update come out soon!! We need it!

Very good. Update please!

Wow.

I’ll admit, after completing Dead Man Walking, I thought there wasn’t going to be anything on this website like it, something serious with a well thought out and detailed storyline with a fun interactive side-focus while still getting to enjoy the story. I’m not sure what prompted me back here, but for some reason this was the first thing I clicked, and boy am I glad :).

The start? Gut-wrenching, and a perfect setup to what is to come: what people will become after they’ve lost something… which, as the title would allude to, just may be the main character’s loss of innocence. The ship scenes show the true hopelessness the two characters feel, their being bought a strange type of promise yet strong hesitance, weary but with no other option and no better choice if they were allowed to make one. From there, the game gives you options of where you wish to branch out your skills, options to choose who your friends and enemies are, and to choose who YOU are… and the ending paragraph sums up everything perfectly. I’ve seen some say that the moral of this story is the cruelty of injustice, and maybe that’s true, but I feel it’s moral is what you may become after facing it.

A little tidbit on all the characters: Alexius was my closest bond, I always coddled him lol, the girl we meet on the boat (I’m making this comment hours after reading so I’m sorry if I forget character names) wasn’t as close a friend I felt as she was suppose to be, but I still enjoyed her company. Bras-something (:p) (just realized it’s Brasus I think) was… honestly quite annoying, but I also felt for him considering how similar he was to my brother. Zeru was my favorite character and also my second-closest bond, surprisingly: I liked all our little interactions and his lack of speech is endearing to me. Gerda’s a b****, enough said, chose Zeru over her in the arena. Titus and Rhode were both oddities in my eyes, capable of strange kindness or complete cool and self-control, then breaking or snapping in the next. I obviously beat their son (which Titus… liked for some reason) and befriended their daughter. Considering the little charm scene, her reaction when you ask to give it to someone else (I picked the option, read her quote and immediately went back: I couldn’t do that to her) and the way she holds your hand before you leave, I feel like she may be an intended love interest, no matter the player character’s gender, and as someone on the slightly… *ahem* wavy side of the spectrum I appreciated that. Also yeah brother’s an a**.

A truly compelling read, each choice felt meaningful and the adventure was excellent, I wouldn’t change a thing and I can’t wait to see what you make on your next book! (Whenever that may be. As far as I know, it’s been about 5 years since this book was released and this project may have been dropped, which is unfortunate as you can see there was great talent at work here.)


Also if this does become a series, am I the only one who feels this could make a great pilot episode, if not a bit long?

Love this game! The story is very enhancing and interesting, and the choices are very logical! The only thing is that some choices towards the end of this game cannot be clicked, so it is technically impossible to win. Other than this bug that I think can be fixed, this is a wonderful game!

need more sex!

Good jobb Melker

Amazing but I need more and an ability to get better at more than one stat without worrying I’m being spread too thin

SO GOOD!!

🔥🔥

I didn't expect to get invested but now I am, wow. Zeru has to be my favorite character thus far. Enigmatic but to a purpose.

I enjoy this game :) Thanks for making this masterpiece! I love the brother in this game too.

(Wait the content here is not suitable for me)

This was so incredibly fun, I could not pull myself away! Highly recommend!

Honestly incredible, loved it and the characters:3

I'm a sucker for historical fiction, and this storygame got me hooked right from the start. I haven't personally seen a lot of stories set in Roman antiquity (that didn't have to do with Spartacus that is). The game mechanics and attributes were well thought out, and the characters were engaging. I'm hopeful that the sequel will be finished soon, but if nothing else, at least we have this. Thank you for creating this storygame, Avery Moore.

Very entertaining. I loved the storyline and will definitely be checking out the sequel.

It's alright.

brutal and fascinating

meh

I loved that.

Nice one. I loved the arena fight at the end. I thought the game would be longer though, surprised it ended after one arena fight, but i still liked it.

really good story although i wished we could have seen more of Caecilia

nice.

This was an amazing game! So many options. Definitely not for the faint of heart, though.

So great!

I love the story. I can't wait for the next part to come out.

disappointed it didn't go on for longer, thats how good it was

Amazing!

Loved it!!!

Very good game thanks

I remember playing this game years ago, when it was up on dashingdon. I loved it then and love it now too.

Having the opportunity to explore the mindset and psyche of a character whose life drastically changes, from a free Greek citizen raised by a happy family to being a slave in Rome, has been a profound experience. Many thanks to the author for making it happen.

It was good. I enjoyed the flexibility and variety of choices. I wasn't really expecting to die, but I suppose it makes a lot of sense. Honestly, there's no way I would survive a life like that. Simply because I don't like to die, but apparently I have morals and therefore must die anyways, I wish I could have been rewarded more or had some kind of benefit from spreading my skill set out a little more, but then again, it makes sense how that didn't help me becuase if you're just average at a bunch of things how can you beat another person's specific skill? Anyways, I enjoyed it. I aslo enjoyed the ability to go back and redo some things- let me see that there was really nothing I could do at that point and I would die basically no matter what. Definititely pulled me into the story and was very immersive. I suppose that I just don't like dying without any hope for the future. The ending didn't leave me feeling satisfied or resolved. Just kind of abrupt. Most stories have a happy ending- then again. I suppose that's kind of the point of having a story where you die. Despite my bitterness about dying (which I laugh at even now), good job, bravo to you, and best wishes on your further creations.

This was incredible! Hard hitting and very well written, keep up the good work!

As a person who speaks Latin and Greek, this was very interesting and fun.

nice

WOW. I never knew I could finish the game as someone so evil! Next time, I’ll save the stats I like.

THIS IS THE ABSOLUTE BEST GAME. TRY IT NOW!!!

This was awesome. I only wish the arena was easier. Still, really good!

The Mistress reminded me of the character of the same name from Eternal. The story also reminded me of the Star Trek: TNG episode where Data gets kidnapped to be displayed in a zoo.


Good:

1. The customization options were engaging without dragging on

2. The writing was good, in particular the characterization of the named characters

3. Huge replay value

4. This story is truly a monument to scripting and what the CYS advanced editor can do, despite a few scripting errors


Bad:

1. There were a few typos, extra spaces, and punctuation errors

2. Some links switched from the 2nd-person POV of the story to 1st-person for some reason


Ugly:

1. In my first play-through, I made my story choices based on roleplaying considerations, because that's the type of story I thought this was, and my character wound up mainly focusing on Stealth, because I found it fun to play as a rogue. It was not until the climactic battle that I found out that I had no chance of progressing in the story and would die no matter what I options I chose in the fight, due to my Stealth-focused stats not being enough to win the battle. When I was initially told that I had to fight in the arena, I was expecting a high Stealth stat to allow me to survive the battle with some combination of backstabbing, hiding, and what have you. After trying every possible option path and dying in all of them, I had no choice but to start the game over, despite really enjoying the roleplaying elements in the game up to that point. I ended up wishing that either the story would would allow me to make it to the end no matter what my roleplaying style was (my preference, as that would emphasize the story aspect more) or I could have been given some sort of clue that this was the sort of game where you would have to min/max your stats in order to complete it. If I am allowed to fully make choices based on role playing considerations, then the stat checks would need to be much more forgiving in the life-or-death fights. If the story instead still has me make choices based on which acquired stats would allow me to complete the game, then I would need clearer hints as to which stat permutations can allow me to beat the game. As is, my death didn't feel earned; it felt like I lost because I wasn't given enough information to make better gaming choices, taking away my player agency

2. There wasn't much characterization and flavor to the physical environments and unnamed background characters, making them come off as flat, rather than living, breathing settings and people

3. The flashback scenes in Chapter 1 after the protagonist became old enough to form memories could have had more showing rather than telling

4. The pacing in the beginning felt a bit slow. Maybe the Introduction page could be moved to the Story Description, one of the early Alexius approval scenes could be removed, as there are plenty more opportunities to change your relationship with Alexius in the story, and the Thracian slave scene on the ship could be taken out

5. Some of the beginning stat choices weren't as clear in which stats would get buffed as they could have been; for example, I initially thought Fisherman would be increasing Accuracy, instead of Carpenter

One nitpick that wasn't really a mistake, but rather just something that could have improved the story, was that I wished that we could have been given indications/clues sooner that the story started in ancient Greece.

Overall, a great story that has a few comparatively minor areas for improvement.

My first game on this website. Honestly really good! Can't wait to try the next chapter!

An absolute masterpiece. If you love gladiator stuff than this is for you!

very good

Stumbled onto this website thanks go a google typo, and found myself playing an hour of this game, even though I usually hate CYOA stories with passion. It was really well written and it felt like everything I decide was meaningful and had a real impact. Really enjoyed it. Thanks!

I really love the game, looking forward to it

loved it. my little historian heart had fun with all the characters

Amazing story, i really like it

i really enjoyed it.

GIMMIE DAT SEQUEL

A fantastically well written story game :D

amazing

Me like stats

The flow of story and the in-depth characters in amazingly well written, i want to see how our lil bro growing up

Wonderful world building, I could not get out once I start. It was an exciting ride! Love it!

This is the first story/game I have read on this site. I am encouraged to read others based on your work. Bravo.

I enjoyed going through this, I think it’s a nice cyoa

11/10 game.

Very good wish there was more

It involves putting children in adult situations, it reminds me of the promise Neverland which is a great watch. I like stories that forces kids to grow up but remain childish still

Damn good

I had a -60 approval rating with alexius

pretty short but has good writing and storyline

thanks for the fun ride

great storytelling

That's good

First storygame I tried, I had a lot of fun and am looking forward to playing more by the author and in general.

I cried. It was phenomenal and truly amazing. The storytelling is wonderful and I don't think I've ever read a story with so much action and yet so much emotion. I suggest it.

This was amazing! It was very immersive and i liked how you could earn points with certain characters and build a relationship with them, really cool character building you have

Good

it good

It’d be great if you worked on the next one XD

Really good game, all the way through I was very interested in the plot and characters. The different skills and how you can’t choose certain options if you don’t have enough points in a skill (like being able to hear Titus and Rhode talking about Alexius if you have high stealth, or kicking sand in the Gaul’s eyes if you have high intelligence) it’s really because you feel rewarded for investing in a certain skill. There are a few gripes I have with this like somewhat linear plot, which the game makes up for by having a good story. I also find it irritating how there is no apparent way to save Brasus, I tried giving him the charm that Caecillia gives you at the start of the gladiator fight but nothing changes and he still dies. There is also that the sequel to this hasn’t been finished besides a very short first chapter in the family friendly section of you look hard enough. I see others here saying that they had to choose between saving Zeru or Gerda to save. Which I didn’t have to do maybe because I had a high intelligence skill and told everyone to strategize. 10/10 would play again.

!!Spoiler Alert!!


Does anybody know if there is a way to save Brasus?

I loved the game! it was so amazing and the idea was so engaging and amazing. <3

very good

This pleases the old ones

Great writing and engaging characters. I couldn't stop reading.

It’s very very fun and sad

First adventure I did on this site & I am glad it was! I am certainly going to see what the sequel has in store

Good

I thought it was a wonderful read. Thank you

It was nice

Considering this seems to be done in installments, that's really the only reason why I feel like my investment in this story hasn't been wasted. An epic has truly been set up and there's not much pay off in this story, if any. Going to have to approach this knowing this is part of a series, otherwise it would've been a waste of time.

BEST GAME EVER. PLS PLS PLS let there be a sequel :>>>>>

Recommendations: There should probably be a stats button so that you can see stats whenever you want; otherwise, it's a mystery. It would also be fun to interact with the characters a bit more. I really liked how near the end, you could give the characters an object and see how they responded - it would be great if that could be added in the next game (if there is one ^^).

Bottom line, this is literally THE best game I've played on this site. Amazing plot, characters, and sends a deep message. Would definitely recommend to everyone I know.

Sending love,
A fan

Really well written, good read!

What a great story. Would you consider to share it on uStory mobile app for CYOA? You can sell your book and accept donations from your readers. www.ustory.app

I remember playing this long before it was updated, when I was much younger, and I must say it has held up. It's great, I'm very intrigued, really hope this story is continued someday soon!

It was amazing I loved it

I loved it so much! My standards were quite low, but oh god, did this story manage to surpass my expectations. I really, really, really, adore Alexius, and if he dies, I will riot. Zeru too, tbf.

Amazing Game! this is the first game I've played on this site and what a way to introduce me to this comunity! Can't wait for Part 2

This was amazing!

There is no way to put my enjoyment of this game into words that haven't been used already. Everything in the story is so detailed and investing. Every choice you make has real consequences and changes the story! It was certainly not a waste of 2 hours!

10/10 anxiously waiting for the sequel!

Is there any way to save Brasus if so please tell me

this was great-I only killed 1 person

This was a very interesting bit of role-playing and character study. I liked that you could pick out the sex and name of the character you wanted to play and that you could hone or destroy relationships with the other characters in the game. Because of Mad Hatter's Daughter's lovely illustration, I just figured the protagonist was female. The story-game makes wonderful use of the game mechanics this site offers (mechanics which I've yet to figure out myself). Avery_Moore has a good grasp on Roman life and history, as well as Greek Mythology, not to mention a detailed understanding of gladiatorial weapons and fighting techniques. I do wish there were more detailed descriptions of the architecture and fashions of Ancient Rome to give me more of a you-are-there feeling, but that's only a minor quibble. The characters were very well-drawn and the dialogue had a very natural flow to it. The emphasis on building relationships and connections reminded me of Mannerpunk (or the Jane Austin novels that influenced that Fantasy subgenre). I was impressed with the harshness of the descriptions of the characters' plight as slaves forced into the lives of gladiators. The story-game starts as a bit of a slow-burn, but it builds to a suspenseful battle in the arena and a heart-rending conclusion. I did catch a few typos and there were also a good number of comma splices and run-on sentences, but nothing that can't be easily fixed. All-in-all, this is a very emotionally compelling character study-- something you don't really find too much in a CYOA-- and it comes off as a kind of interactive Literature. Very good job, Avery!

I can not express in words how much I enjoyed playing this game! The storyline is creative and the characters are so detailed and endearing I had a hard time choosing what to do. I personally hope that the next game comes soon.

Amazing story im gonna go cry because of the beginning now

I love it

Really fun game!

This is one of the best story games that present itself on this website, The story beckons you in to read more. It's a mental treat for your brain.

The branching was the best Iv'e ever seen 3/3

The grammar was perfect, and I could only find ONE mistake. It was i instead of I, NO big deal and in all of that text only a single error presented itself 3.9/4

The story itself is one of the best plots ever, and I like that you can choose your name. This game was very well thought out. And for that I will give a 2/2 for the plot itself.

Last category, The content was not so brutal.But I do think that the level of maturity is awesome for the majority of readers, and for the overall story I would give it a 1/1

Add everything up... 99% WOw!! amazing

It’s amazing. Never thought I’d find such a masterpiece in this site.

Very good

Best story I have ever read. 100/10.

Looking forward to the next installment.

Exciting, sad and bittersweet

Vivid, heart-pulling, tragic, emotional, harsh, takes you on a journey. Enjoyed very much.

Very long and intertaining

So good

I Like It!

AMAZING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I want more! It is a very good and entertaining read. One thing i think you should change is haveing more sexual stuff happen

I love it

Great game but a bit short

i really liked it, cant wait for the new one

This game is really fun!

I LOVE this game!!!!

I loved it.

I loved the game so much, but there is a problem the second chapter of second game won't work.

really good

Nice

I'm making this comment a while after reading the story. I don't know what to say that hasn't been told already. This adventure is fantastic.

I loved how the consequences of a choice aren't always predictable just by reading the action's description.
It really took me on an adventure with simple enough characters that makes them easy to imagine and understand yet, the different interactions were well written and logical. It made me feel like I was actually interacting with real human persons (who have hindsight on situations).
This was one of my first interaction with CYS, and I must say it gave me a very positive image of what can be found here.

I'll make sure to read part 2 when it's out, but hey... No pressure or forcing here. :)

Great game, lovely, sure am glad the author is still logging in and posting on the forum almost daily as anyone paying the slightest bit of attention before making weird assumptions can see.

Great game, lovely, shame the creator has left and a sequel is close to nil. Loved it.

WOW i just, wow...

I liked it even better than the time Avery, mizal and poison mara took turns banging me with a horse dildo strap on while my wife watched.

well, this games certainly make me a bit sympathetic, but at this world, and it to be hard. and so that's why i like this game, i know i'm crazy, but that's what this game make me feel.

this was a wonderful game i cant wait for the sequal

This game was the best! I loved how the length for this game was and how you had stats. The pacing was perfect and the choices gave the reader an image of what's going to happen. This game has won me satisfaction.

A very moving and thought provoking story! Some tough decisions, and some that come back to haunt you later on in the story/game. Some choices seem easy, but end up being not what you thought they'd be. Some seem hard, but ultimately are the best to go with your gut instinct on.

Cant wait for the sequel!

The story was very intriguing throughout. Every time I made a decision, the author made it have an impact. I love the story.

WOW!

I can not express my feelings about this story.
It was just as realistic as it gets, even on hard times!
Every choice has an impact but they are balanced (small/huge changes) to make this story like you live it in your blood!

Only one thing had me bothered throughout the story: when in festival day, you can give twice the apple as a gift, in my case, to my brother and Brascus(?).

Although, I sensed their gifts are quite useless (except from the stats), you can tell that this story is unique and well-built.

One final note, in the end of the game, you suggested to save my stats (which I did not) to the next story in the series.
I suggest to convert the stats and happenings to a different endings, it would have been a lot easier to remember and input this to the next CYOA (choose your own adventure).

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My final rating: 8 out of 8, brilliant! ;)

this was so fucking good lol

I thought that it was a very good story

Waiting for part 2!!!

I really really enjoyed the game! I liked the relationships a lot, and Lula had a lot of funny moments. I am really excited to play the sequel!

This was amazing... My new favorite on this website..Wow...

I've been playing this game for a long time now and when I read that it was twice as long I was really excited. I thought the author had joined the first and second parts together, wishful thinking. As always it was amazing and I can't express how much I like the premise but I would really love to see the second part.

One of the best I've played on here

Really great game, cant wait for the next one

I think the story line is good and I really enjoyed reading it. The way you could choose the name and different skills of the character was also very fun. Thank you for making this.

Wow... I'm honestly speechless. This story was so good, so well written, the characters were very well-rounded, and there were so many choices- When I read a choose-your-adventure story, this is *exactly* the depth I'm looking for. I really look forward to the sequel, when does it come out :P?

Gosh, this was so good. Probably one of the best CYOA games I've played in a while. Fantastically written. The characters felt three-dimensional, especially Zeru. I love that kid.

All-and-all, a great game and story. I especially love this time period in particular, so that also helped keep me more engrossed in the game than I already was. I'll definitely be playing the next installment as well.

One of the best storygames on this site, I've played it multiple times, and I am looking forward to the sequel. It was rushed and lacking in some parts. I highly recommend.

Interesting game, for sure! I look forward to playing the sequel.

Nowadays I become really interested in gladiators and their life so I thought why not to try this one out. This story was awesome, I recommend it to anyone who loves this stuff, and anyone who wants a bit of detachment from the actual, real world called life.

I like th basic concept off this game.

Way better than the old version.

Cant wait for the sequel

Great

Incredible game! Can't wait for more!

Breathtaking. truly worth the time.

My first foray into Choose Your Story was with your work The Price of Freedom. Long ago, my friends and I enjoyed the old Choose Your Own Adventure books. But I do believe your work eclipses any story I remember from that series. Thank you

That was pretty good.

Next episode when? :D

I loved it, the chracters where great

This is a beautiful story, the characters and events really leave me at a loss for words. It's incredibly moving, definitely a story that I will keep thinking about long after I've finished reading it.

Great Game, I really enjoyed the adventure!

Beautifully written, with that golden thread woven so secretly in its narrative of the moral soul, even in hellish circumstances. It didn't needlessly punish me for desiring goodness for others, but rather encouraged me to be wise about it.

This was beautiful.I actually played this two times before, but I never got to the end... Now that I actually play it in the full, this was magical like I heard it would be. It is surely one of the most famous and great story games. Thank you!

My first read on the site turned out to be quite a nice one! I appreciate how not just the story, but the sort of person I am playing, can change.

Pqp eu falici bacana mano
Fui mto besta tbm, nenhum pouco diferente da vida real ;-;

Amazing!! The quality of professional choose your story type games. Can’t wait for the next part!!

Before I even give my usual rating, I'd like to say "wow". Amazing story. Maybe not THE greatest but truly a wonderful work of art. Avery, if you hadn't welcomed me to this site with a duel I would never have read this story, so thanks. :D

Rating: 85 / 60

+15/10 Story Line (Very good and well written)
+15/10 Game Mechanics (Stats in game are always a huge bonus )
+10/10 Details and Art
+10/10 Grammar and Spelling
+10/10 Sentence Structure
+15/10 Character Development
+10 Bonus

Great Game. Amazing. After reading this story I feel like I under-rated Eternal.....Oh well. Couple things that really got me hooked were the in-game stats and the genre. I love Greek and Roman history so this story's genre and setting was very refreshing. I loved the different characters and the story line, both of which were well developed. The in-game stats made the story much more interesting as it allowed for many different options and choices I could make as the player. I did have to restart a few times to get the right stats but it was fun nonetheless. I truly enjoyed this adventure and I eagerly await for more.

Cheers :D

This was a very enjoyable story! The characters were compelling and the writing was good. I found it to be very much worth my time.

There were a couple bugs I encountered, including an apple that I was able to give away twice. Also, at about the same part of the story, there was one option that was grayed out because I assumed I hadn't accumulated enough points in that particular skill. However, after to talking with each of the other characters and coming back to the same set of decisions again and again, that skill-based choice was made available to me on one occasion. I'm not sure if that was intended or a glitch in the coding.

Also, there were a couple oddities that distracted me briefly. One was the fact that soon after I was locked inside the gladiator school one of my first options was to attend a lecture, which I found to be disconcerting. I don't remember that scene in certain Stanley Kubrick or Ridley Scott movies. I must have missed the sign-ups for the pottery lessons... Humor aside, such an intellectual and self-enriching pursuit seemed out of place in what I would assume would be a rather brutal and soulless environment.

And later there was a reference to someone reading a book, even though printed books were not invented in Europe until the 15th century, courtesy of Mr. Gutenberg. The Romans were ingenious and created many clever gadgets, but books weren't among them.

Otherwise I enjoyed the story, and read it in installments over the course of several nights. I took your advice and saved the stats page for when the next installment in the story is ready to read. Thanks for sharing this with us!

I honestly couldn’t have enough.The writing is flawless as the backstory of our protagonist is sketched quite beautifully.The Brothers In Arms stuck with me throughout the play.This also is one of the best games on this platform.

8/8,Pretty great for binge reading,High Entertainment Value.


Stalke Welsh Strikes Again.

This.
This is a gem that need even more recognition.
Not only is the storyline beautifully thought out and detailed, the characters are really well written too (to the point where you can easily fall in love even with the most wicked one if you can understand their backstory well enough, which is quite easy thanks to the thoughtfulness of the author)
Ain't gonna lie. Another reason why I love LOVE this story is because you can choose your gender (it's not like it would be any less of a great story but I'm glad I finally found a story where you are not a boy by default yk)
I read all the thing in two hours without any break other that lunch and now that I've finished I'm craving for more more more. I can't wait for the next one. Good job.

Absolutely amazing story! I could see this as an actual series of books that I would enjoy reading and rereading! Even the smallest choices affected how well the final fight would be, and not only were the game mechanics amazing, but the story arch as near flawless. One of my top three on this site without a doubt. Now If you don't mind, I need to go through and get all the other paths to win the fight. Top marks goes to you!

Hey I was told this was a CHILD MURDER SIM and was very eager to MURDER A CHILD so that I could have a hysterical meltdown about it on an internet forum and threaten to report the author to the FBI...but then when I played it I was very disappointed to find there was an option to just knock the CHILD I wanted to MURDER unconscious instead??? wtf

Ugh now I'm disappointed, freaking out about CHILD MURDER is just never quite the same when it's only possible to MURDER A CHILD by deliberate choice. 1/8, why did I even read this, well anyway off to rub more sand in my vagina and virtue signal at a flock of seagulls on the horizon I suppose, bye.

Thoroughly enjoyed it.

I had so much fun with this story and could not put it down! I hope that there will be many more!!!!

I loved it. Really. 8/8

When I first played, I was kind of freaked out. I was also impressed with how you made the slavery there, but it wasn't crazy, they were still human, and they weren't fighting in unison like they had been training to do it for twenty years.

The characters all had their own depth, they had their own feeling, and it actually mattered what you did. It wasn't linear, not in the slightest.

I liked the stats a lot, and how you kept up with all of it. This game must have taken hours and hours to write, and it took 2-3 hours to finish.

It was exciting, sad, and... just good.

Lots of depth and it's crazy interesting. Makes me want to be a tough like the characters but also shows perspective on the value of human life.

This game is meaningful, deep, and truly hard for the character; a struggle between sanity or survival, trying to protect their friends/family or themselves...can't wait for the sequel!

I read the CoG Gladiators one before this, and now that you mention it, there are some similar plot points (slave travel by ship, woman who can't speak well speaks to you during ship, cato and titus rivalry, etc.) Personally I felt the story was too short, but it was enjoyable.

Because the original Price of Freedom is what first brought me to CYS, this game is somewhat special to me. However, I think it is safe to say that my high opinion of it has little to do with sentimentality. The original version was good. This was better.
The story has a lot of focus on stats, and there is no long-term branching throughout it, really. Even the differences in endings are based off your relationships with other characters and who is actually alive. Ordinarily, I would see this as a negative, but due to the nature of the game, it is fitting. The goal is to survive and end up as well-off as possible, which is not necessarily easy. I had an advantage, having played the original, but if I had not, I would have likely struggled.
The writing is great, and the action is descriptive without dragging down the story. I liked the characters too. Sure, Rhode is not as hot as Semra, but she's pretty dang cool. There was also a lot of effort put into changing conversations based off your relationship with each character, which was nice.
The story moves along at just the right pace, I thought. It neither dragged nor left confusion and unanswered questions.
If you're into gladiators, game-like stories that still don't sacrifice plot, or you just want to read a unique, well-written storygame, quit reading reviews and go read The Price of Freedom: Innocence Lost.
I'll be eagerly awaiting the sequel.

good stuff

Everything in this story was great but there were a few things that were wrong that I noticed (mostly historical)
1. At this time (Which I assume is after the second punic war and before Rome annexed Greece) Rome didnt have an emperor they only did after Julius Caesar died
2. Gladiators dont usually die in battle (excluding animals but I'm not sure) but I get it since its a must for the plot

I still want to escape and make a empire in Zeru’s home village to compete with Rome while recruiting Lulu’s brothers. Then conquer all the way up to the main character’s home town and see if their father is still alive(while getting the option to forgive him or own him as a slave, just to add more sentimental choices along the way)

This was an amazing story/game and incredibly well put together. I really appreciate the effort put into making this story and would highly recommend it.

Amazing!

Honestly the updated version is the usual fantastic content I'd expect from the 'seniors' around here. Loved the new stats which gave more in-depth detail of the choices available to us.

Character development was nice. I liked how every one had their own stories behind their attitude. Caecillia is still a vague character to me, like is her innocence a facade? We knew she can be feisty but I don't know, it what keeps her as an RO interesting.

Okay, Septimule...really interesting as well. His obedience to his father being very high is amusing. Guesses about his past would be about something having to do with his mother, or maybe not depending on what Avery will write.

Well that's that and I hope to see book 2 soon enough, cheers!

Man where do I begin with this comment. The story line is absolutely amazing, full of rich detail, and each choice is well thought out. I played this story out in 1 sitting, simply because the writing makes you want to know what happens next, and to put it down would mean I'd be left wanting to know. I totally recommend this game to anyone and look forward to the next part. To the author: you have a serious talent, and I hope you go professional, you so deserve every bit of it.

Great story-telling. I felt connected with the characters which I try to find with the stories I'm reading these past few months. Looking forward for the next book. ??

Comment may contain spoilers. If you have a problem with that, read the dang story! Isn’t that why you’re here?

Every company releasing DLC should take notes. Can we get Avery hired at EA? Simply put, the new edition of PoF is the storygame we’ve all been waiting for. Avery should have mentioned this is the ‘Game of the Year Edition’ because it will win ‘Best of 2019’ without a doubt. I’m debating waiting until 2020 to publish my storygame to at least give myself a chance. I played the original release of PoF and the updated version keeps the good and improves upon it.

Let’s start with the options. There’s so damn many! Never reading stories on any other CYOA sites, I’m not used to being able to choose names and gender. Not a bad element to include since you literally put yourself in the main character’s shoes. Well, maybe just literarily. The opening pages remind me of character creation screens from major RPGs. The opening questionnaire is like getting off the boat in Seyda Neen and walking into the Census and Excise office. I pity the Fortnite generation for not understanding that reference and not getting to play actual good games. At least you get Price of Freedom! I’m a big fan of surveys to determine stats because it’s more hands-on and causes the player to get inside the mind of the character they are creating. Immersion level: Through the roof.

I’m glad more backstory was included. The initial selling of you and your brother seemed rushed in the original. The original was like “First page: you’re a slave now, bitch”. This one gets you invested. You’re still a kid, but you get to experience a normal life before your mother’s death systematically destroys your father’s morals and your life.

Let’s move on to stats. Yes, you have stats. Isn’t that amazing for a game? Actually, yeah. I haven’t run into a lot of storygames with actual real influence. Seemingly every decision you make will determine a stat or approval gain/decrease. As it should! Think about IRL: If you act in a way someone doesn’t want you to, you lose rapport. If you don’t help your scared little brother, you lose his approval. No shit, right!? This is probably my favorite aspect of PoF. The decisions you make have very real consequences and boons. Your choices actually matter in a CYOA story? You’re goddamn right.

I did find issues in Chapter 2 due to the formatting. Or lack thereof. There’s several giant paragraphs that are a mix of dialogue and description with no paragraph breaks. It would be nice to have the sentences broken up.

One thing that sets Avery above us mere peasants is the amount of visualization she creates. A simple CYOA author would write “You go here. You do this”. Avery draws us in with incredible descriptions and gorgeous detail. An example of this is when you arrive at Pylos. Instead of writing “The city was busy with lots of people around”, you experience everything going on around you. From the kids playing in rock-pools to the haggling slavers, you see it all! It’s cliché at this point, but it’s classic ‘show not tell’ in action.

If for some reason you read this entire comment without reading the story first, shame on you. Go rethink your life, but first read PoF. It’s the epitome of a CYOA. Every link you click has a purpose behind it. It’s clear Avery spent a lot of time and effort to make this release even better than the original. That’s part of the reason I signed up as a Patron. Anyone writing their own CYOA should read PoF to see what excellence looks like. I give it an 8/8.

The story is pretty good. I didn’t realize there was a “Stats” button at the top right to check statistics until the very end. I haven’t seen any other game on CYS use that mechanic. Usually, they just include the stats at the bottom of every page or as a link at the bottom of relevant pages though I understand that this would get in the way with so many stats and stat changes. I’d recommend pointing out how to access the stats in the introduction. I’d also recommend putting a cap on each stat and relationship so that I’m not funneling useless points into a single stat or relationship.

I have nothing but compliments to give this story; I'm absorbed into the plot trying to replicate what choices reflect my values while managing the needed growth for future events(can't go wrong with a speed and intellect run). The cast of characters, for the most part, represent all the components of what a gladiator feels in the arena(Alexius-Home sickness, Zeru-Survival instinct, Septimus- Thirst for violence, Brasus-Fear of death, etc) This is a work of love and considerable creativity that I has been refined to near perfection, I can't wait for the next part of the story to come out!

Very Good. Had to replay a couple of times to see my desired ending (but that's a good thing, I neglected one area of my stats for to long). Overall IGN "9/10"

Excellent games and story , i tried boasting up my intelligent and found lots more fun reading of the interaction ..
However , the end do seems a bit abrupt when i made a wrong choice .. i have great strategy with my team and Gerda got the spear, then i chose Gladius but died ... hence would be a bit tricky since we won't know which decision is going to cause us dearly

but overall, a good read and game

This game is great probably the best on the site

This is a really good game. I love how diverse the characters is, they each have their own unique personality. The choices are quiet impactful, too.

The most memorable scene, imo, was at that slave ship and arena. They really well written, I have so many mixed emotions there.

TLDR, I greatly enjoyed the game, will look forward for the sequel :)

I really don't know what to say different than the others have said. I love the story, the characters involved. the decisions you can take, and the possible choices you can do, in my opinnion, very well written, very well done and like the rest, i cant wait to see the sequel! Congratulations, keep it up!

Exellent story! lot of angst , so get ready to use kleenex!

A really enjoyable read! Liked it even more since I just read this after finishing the movie gladiator. I’m definitely looking forward to the sequel!

It’s amazing, can’t wait for the next.

realy good

Great game. It really gives the player a challenging and fun gladiatior experience. It is fun to try and maintain relationships with the other characters in this kind of situation.

I recommended playing this game.

Thanks for the wonderful game. It was excellent work.
I think you did really well and I can't wait for the sequel that will hopefully come soon.
Keep up the great work!

Thanks for this cool game- i played it with big pleasure!!! I like same games and i'll be very glad to see them in future!

This was great, though I wish there was a way to save Brasus. (and if there is, I have no clue lol!)

I really loved the story and the characters in it. They're all unique from one another and each one are equally as memorable. This is a great start to the Price of Freedom series, and I'm definitely going to be playing through it a couple more times rolling different stats. This story is definitely worth checking out.

Can't wait for a sequel! Great job!

Really nice prose style; the narrative bounces along, and characters get nicely defined. The character feels interestingly modifiable--I'll already looking forward to seeing what happens if I create a kind, clever character rather than the selfish brute I just played as.

Excellently written, seems a bit short but isn't really I mean what with all the paths and the like.
Story and the plot is well done too and hands down one of the best written choose your adventure game I have played in a while.
I like it enough that I wish there was more of it, and am looking forward to the sequel

Amazing as always. Can't wait for the sequel!

I enjoyed my play through a lot. Great characters, story and choices. My only complaint is that it's to short me, Part 2 can't come soon enough!

Great game. I enjoyed the first version a lot, and this was a big improvement. Can't wait for the sequel!

This story is a wonderful start of the Price of Freedom series.

The characters all have their own unique personalities which make them feel very real. Caecilia and Zeru are by far my favorite characters. Rhode proved to be a much deeper character than they first appeared to be. Alexius felt like a little brother that I wanted to protect but also try to toughen up for this harsh new world we've found ourself in. Gerda was someone that got on my nerves, but her reasons for being who she was felt real and natural. Brassus was far out of his element and I really felt bad for the guy while at the same time thinking, "Pick up your sword and train you moron." Septimus was a jerk, but in a "I bet this guy has some serious insecurities" kind of way. And Titus, well, he seems like the kind of guy who cares about us as long as we show him we were a good investment. I really don't want to put in anything to spoiler-y in here but I just wanted to say that Zeru's scene during the Latin Festival and Rhode's scene before the fight really stood out to me as excellent example's of how these characters really have more depth to them than what you might first believe.

The setting was good as well. Training scenes in the ludus were detailed and interesting. Overall there really isn't anything to complain about with the setting. There is enough change of location and scenery throughout the story to ensure good variation.

I believe this was a great story, and a great beginning to the series. I look forward to seeing what the future holds for the protagonist and all the characters you've created. Thank you for creating this story and I look forward to your future work.