Forums » The Parlor Room » Read Thread

So, the first thread was getting way too long, but there are still so many weird and wonderful comments to be shared! I'll start us off with a few of the best comments from LOVE SICK, since this game has some of the most beautiful gems of comments I've ever seen. ^_^

After I read this... thing, Joe the Plumber grew a bit. Does that make me a bad person?

-- Vitamins_n_Stds on 10/26/2008 10:46:37 PM

WTF I'm a Mormon retard. Usualy I like your stories but this one is all crazy and screwed up. I'm a little worried about your mental health... 

-- Notorious streaker on 9/27/2010 11:33:37 PM

You know, it wasn't really necessary to say "I'm a Mormon retard." The retard part was obvious when you said you were a Mormon. Lol.

-- EndMaster on 9/28/2010 11:15:30 AM

First impressions: dick in ass....For anyone who likes to drill his own ass with his own dick, this is TheBeST story. It gave me some ideas on killing., anyway. A better way to rape someone is to poke out her eyes and skull fuck her, hahahah. Endmaster, seriously. Do you even have a relation with any female human? How come are you here writing for kiddies? You should be out their killing motherfuckers right now!! Bitch out. This story entertains like gangbang, and while it's fucking short you(the random asshole reading this) shouldn't consider it bad. L=Q. God pick me up!!? Hell, am i even alive. Is this story even real or is it just a pick of my imagination. Why should i believe that you aren't a tenticlatic alien, who fucks 100 whores a day? Are you even human? Review score:8/8.

-- Endrew on 1/9/2013 11:08:51 AM

your story was very fucked up and gross. incest is the most disgusting thing to hear about and it is also sick that you even had him killing innocent people that is so fucked up i can't even describe how fucked up this story is on so many levels i cant believe i even read this horrible story. i really hoped that story would with jail time or some kind of divine retribution at the end but yet he gets away with . why would even write this. i hated playing as violent diabolical unstable fucked psychopath i only played this damn story just to see if you as the protagonist get the punishment for such Evil deeds. this story is appalling.

-- eb2781 on 9/9/2013 4:59:27 AM

That story was perfect to send my already fugged up pre-teen mind into serial killer territory... Thanks End!

-- TheDickReviewer on 12/27/2014 7:31:16 AM

Aaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhh!!!! MY EYE NOOOOOOOOOO MY MIND IS--IS--I--SSS DDDYYYYIII---NNNNNNGGG FFFUUUK UUUU EENNDD MMMAAAZZZTTTRRRRRR 8/8

-- Negative on 3/11/2015 1:24:04 PM

You should make alot more o these but next time put ball busting and cuntbusting in it hahaha. With girls screaming in pain and boys starting to cry but make sure thy are under the age of 16 it qill be fin to rwad and decidw either to have sex with them or to punish their little dicks and pussys so please make anothee one like this.

-- me on 12/4/2016 7:51:26 AM

I know JJJ loves that Mormon one.

Actually, since Infinite Story may one day fall to the ever growing forces of entropy, might as well save these two gems over here.

Death Song

OMG dude!!!! How could you not make a good ending, not a single one?! Do you know how depressed I feel right now? You are sick!!! YOU are the lich king. I'we read through every bad ending on purpose hoping and wishing that I'd end up with the good one, where the world gets saved and he gets together with the female general or something.

OMG OMG OMFG!!!

What have you done? You are evil!!! AAAARGGHH!!! I feel like crying right now. This is horrible.

To be honest, I have always felt that it's kitchy to make good endings in stories but now I realized that it isn't. Hoping for the good is my nature, humans' nature, SENTIENT BEINGS' NATURE!!! What the fuck has happened to your nature?!?!?!

How would a book like LOTR or Narnia or whatever feel if it had a horrible ending? It would feel horrible. Well, that's how your story feels, horrible. I feel empty and disillusioned and like I've totally wasted my time, I've been tricked and used. I suffered through all that gory, violent, cruel, sad shit that happened to the character (me in a way) and I got nothing for it. Makes me wanna kill myself right now.

Fuck you man!

drevenhaug - Jan 10, 2008

A Very Special Infinite Story

WTF, I thought I was a negative, pessimistic person, but you seem to be it because you like it!!! How could you write something liek this?! WTF is wrong with you?! What is wrong with the world?! This is just sick and wrong and evil. I'm not some puritane christian twat, I don't dissaprove of the individual events and endings you write about, what I despise is that you're just being destructive, you're not presenting any good sides, you seem to just be making fun of people that get problems and have unhappy lifes. That makes you the saddes kind of person. Are you a fucking psycopath? Don't words like empathy and compassion ring a bell?

Ok, I might be ufair and overreacting, I only quickly run through the female storyline and I just finished your Death Song story and wrote a comment about that. But I must say, BAD impression. I have been feeling bad all day and I decided to read your stories hoping I'd feel better but I ended up feeling worse.

And even with Death Song it's not like I didn't enjoy the story, I did, that's why I read the whole of it and rated it 9 when I was in the middle of it. But you've fucked up, you've given your readers a total anticlimax. Your'e a sadist with your audience.

Fuck you again you stupid jerk!!!

drevenhaug - Jan 10, 2008

This has to be the only person in the world who views Death Song and AVSIS as the same kind of story...

e: Oh, and I am going to go ahead and link the first Interesting Comments thread for posterity, since it will presumably get buried at some point.

Thankee kindly. ^_^

Endmaster, driving angsty teens to suicide since 2007. ^_^

Endmaster please bring Exploitation Theater over here!

"Kitchy".

My favorite is the Endrew one (because Endrew is my alt).

Life as a Dog 

cute but y cant it be longer with puppy sex?

-- computersuresrex on 9/10/2014 3:28:21 PM with a score of 0

Fucking Furries...

Puppy sex? ... Does that make them a furry and a pedo? 

Pedophile Sodomist... I guess. ¯\_(?)_/¯

Hentai Furry Lolicon (very popular art style from Japan)

@ZagHero your old account has been located. :D

The Left-Handed Man 

1) I like it great game. I am left handed and I HATE it how everyone assumes I am right handed or that there is something wrong with being left handed

-- hugo23 on 2/13/2013 8:23:38 PM

2) Great story! And now I know never to discriminate against left handed people again :p

-- Briar_Rose on 12/4/2012 11:48:25 AM

3) BOORRINGG 3/10

-- JJJ on 6/18/2005 9:33:01 PM

Didn't realize we had stories based on the bible on here.

Speaking of which:

Eternal

It good

-- Jesus on 2/13/2017 2:04:49 PM with a score of 0

God's seal of approval.

Just don't let it go to your head 

Lennon really was the Kanye of his day...

Eternal

It good. Also, Jesus, I'm better then you.

-- Rock 'n' roll on 2/16/2017 4:29:34 PM with a score of 0

Lol.

Mercenary Queen (Part 3): The Hemlock Band (Act B)

1st comment from Mizal

Well that went from zero to rapey to raped to death fast.

2nd comment from Mizal

Played through the rest of the paths during lunch earlier and uh, yeah this a pretty rapey game.


Be right back, finally have the motivation to play through this series.

Well, the "anything goes" tag is definitely appropriate for this storygame.

So this is the story? I haz to go to de zoo but I don haz car! Your neighbour kills his wife. Knock knock. "Hey Pete can I borrow your car?" Door slam shut. "Well I sure am glad you're so polite Pete! >:o "You want some coffee? -.- you get coffee "ey Pete where's the bathroom?" "Somewhere" 
You find escape. Go escape. Find a wishing well. Find the chamber of secrets. The Ican'trememberwhatitwassnakethatkillspeople Is there you see a hat " Wait hats are magical! :D puts on hat. Hat Does nothing. :( 
Kills self with brocken harry potter wand or jayfeather stick or what ever

-- Rosetail on 4/14/2015 1:26:35 PM

... What game was that comment on? 

This one

Wasn't that one of the radical Warrior Cats fans back when they consumed the site whole with their pussy adventures?

Chuck Norris Chasedown

Yeah, combined with the prejudice and discrimination against China, you LOSE! Horrible game - one of the worst I have encountered.

-- You are horrible on 2/19/2017 8:01:12 PM with a score of 0

Now I have to read this one.

Not because I'm going to have a cheap laugh at the potential racism inside, but more because I'm wondering how the hell a story about Chuck Norris ended up in the Edutainment section.

EDIT: Well that was disappointing. I guess it can stay in the Edutainment section though.

Awh, I like this one on Summer Lasts Forever. ^_^

To continue a discussion, this shit gave me cancer. 

Or this cancer gave me the shits. Polls are still undecided.

-- iavatus on 2/14/2017 9:37:00 PM

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/StoryTime~21~21

Smart, innovative, and thrilling, "StoryTime!!" is that rare storybook blockbuster that succeeds viscerally as well as intellectually. If "StoryTime!!" is a metaphysical puzzle, it's also a metaphorical one: It's hard not to draw connections between Carly's pie-bomb and ScarletJScarlet's gift for thrill-- an activity devoted to constructing a simulacrum of reality, intended to seduce us, mess with our heads and leave a lasting impression. Mission accomplished.

-- Pastranja Hayes on 12/23/2012 11:31:00 AM

A tremendously exciting science-fiction thriller that's as disturbing as the comments make it sound. This is exceptional storygame entertainment with a knockout punch so intense and unnerving it'll have you worrying if it's safe to close your eyes at night.

This is spellbinding, transporting, damn near indescribable and the latest indication that ScarletJScarlet might be the slyest narrative tactician making storygames today.

-- KyleTheDragonSlayer442 on 12/23/2012 11:34:18 AM

This throbbing tale of robust dramatic timing was like a cascading explosion of literary ecstasy in my mind. Saturating the deepest recesses of the psyche in white hot creativity! It changed my life forever!

-- BerkaZerka on 12/23/2012 6:01:31 PM

Before I read this story I was blind, deaf and dying of a terminal toothache. Not only am I completely cured but I also lost twenty pounds, married a billionaire and single handedly saved the world from alien invasion all because of reading this story! Thank you ScarletJeScarlet! You have made the world a better place!

-- Briar_Rose on 12/23/2012 8:31:40 PM

You do realize that that author popped into CYS, created that story, wrote it and uploaded it within 24 hours, and was never heard from again. Maybe the story really did change her life.

Obviously. Only the most quickly-made pieces of literature can impact somebody on such a level that they completely rethink the way they live their life.

That... or she just forgot her password. 

The truth is out there, somewhere.

Weird, I don't remember this game at all. Must read it again.^_^

Your real comment was featured on it.

Vault Life

cool but how is this anything like fallout 3?

-- epix on 10/11/2016 11:58:23 AM

This just saddens me.

It's okay, I banned him 27 times already.

Yeah, this guy posts some weird comments:

What if

im peter pan!!!!! oh wait....

-- epix on 10/13/2016 8:12:03 PM

 

Star Wars: A Outlanders Journey 

I'm just starting this and I have spoken English my whole life so don't tell me anything about my English and this a sequel to a padawan journey from Jmgskill idiots and I will report you if you say about my English again

-- Kingskils on 2/26/2017 10:21:55 AM with a score of 0

---------------------------------------------------

This is pure comedy at this point.

So... He made a sequel to somebody else's game?

... ... ... Funsies! Why didn't I think of that? Time to get started on Eternal 2, Semra's Revenge! ^_^

Sounds quite interesting. Umm, I would be honored to co-author this with you if possible.

Seriously, I now want Thara and Briar to do this together.

Awesome!!! ... But I really think we should take BlueSabere's advice and make Semra nicer so that the game appeals to a wider audience. 

I was thinking just basically make all the Eternals toddler age and they all play in a room and have make believe adventures. And Semra just comes in and checks on them every now and then.

Semra: "Is everything alright in here?"

All: "Yes. Mistress."

Truly, a story to make your dreams come true.

Yes, so much yes! But I think that we should retcon much of the sexual themes and baby throwing out of the story. Maybe Dendrin can also be unisex and a possible love interest. 

Actually, would a rom-com be fine? All of the characters can be possible love interests, even Kane. Of course we'll have to downplay certain elements of his character, like the butchering and cannibalism a tad. We could make him tsundere and a vampire that simply goes like "*noms* rawr :3" 

Who knows? It may be picked up as a illustrated light novel and then animation. We could then donate any and all funds to nurture sea life. 

It'll be just like Mary Poppins! A spoon full of filthy Sveld baby blood helps the medicine go down. ^_^

Friend Zone

Listen, dipshit. I dont care if this is your first game. Do you know how many times I had to replay this? Too many. Too many times. Oliver was way better than ****ing Daniel. I, a lesbian, am both offended by the lack of chemistry with Daniel and the lack of potential with Mary. Mary, our best friend, who's been with us since diapers (i assume). I don't want to get out of the friendzone with Daniel, but rather with our dear friend, Mother Mary. Good day, and good luck on future projects. Because although the game made me v upset, it's still better than our games, which is nothing.

-- butchbaby69 on 2/27/2017 1:41:00 PM

Chickdove REALLY likes Ground Zero…

1. *sigh* trying to do the right thing always gets you killed. But it is realistic. Also, I like last-minute discicions, and would like more choices.
-- Chickdove on 3/11/2017 12:27:49 PM

2. Dang it, second time playing started a rebelion, I'm not sure how I feel about it... I killed Eliot, I don't know if it was a good choice or a bad one, but I also killed his wife, and left his children orphaned, dove the thing into chaos, but if I learned something from my last playthrough, it's dont trust anyone, I trusted the family, they killed me. And so, I hope I saved everyone By killing Eliot, I'll never know...
-- Chickdove on 3/11/2017 12:48:31 PM

3. I partyed like no tommarow, cause there was none... best ending so far, better then getting shot by an angry women after killing a ton of people, or getting eaten by radioactive wolves, or getting stabed after starting a rebelion, wonder if there is an ending where I'll actualy survive XD.
-- Chickdove on 3/11/2017 12:53:49 PM

4. OMG so much hacking XD I died of hacking so many times...
-- Chickdove on 3/11/2017 1:19:07 PM

5. FINALY I got aq good ending, I'm on my way to meet becky, I don't know if I'll survive or not, but I hope I will, and I was able to save her, even if I don't.
-- Chickdove on 3/11/2017 1:34:52 PM

6. I was a complete sycopath, my life ended with someone shooting me after hiding in a bunker, his answer was "because you could" But, I know the truth, I did it...because I wanted to survive. I did it because the world was savage and chaotic, and killing seemed the only way. I tried to make it right by helping civalasation unfold again, but I had already created a monster, I was a monster. I'm not sure what I could've become, (other than dead) but I tried my best to survive, and in the end, I failed, in the end I realy just commited suicide. I failed in my quest to live, and created a monster of myself, I lived with a motto, "Never trust anyone" I broke it a few times, and that led me on this path, or maybe following it did. I don't know, I'll never know. I did horible things, and the last thought as I leave this world... "I am a monster, nothing I did really mattered in the long run"... but, perhaps, this is a lie, perhapes my life wasn't pointless, maybe along the line, I did something right, maybe...just, maybe. In another life, I'll follow this motto, I'll see what happens, in a paralel universe, I'll remind myself-The monster I have become


So deep! I love this, I have had many different endings. I'm going to find all of them, and replay the ones I have, leaving deep messages like this :D enjoy, I love stories, reading them and telling them.

-- Chickdove on 3/11/2017 2:16:11 PM

7. How stupid was I? I heard the sound, I had no reason for going out. I did, I drove, even... casualy? Idiot, I tell myself, as a bright light blinds me, the last thing I'll ever see. My life, it didn't count for much, I did nothing, nothing but go to work, pretending everything was alright, pretending everything is normal. I died, obviously. In another life, in a parralel universe posibly, I'll remind myself to listen to common sense, and not be so stupid.-The stupid person who thought the world was normal

Hope your liking these, I will get every ending immaginable :D
-- Chickdove on 3/11/2017 2:23:38 PM

8. I ended up partying, like there was no tommarow, turns out there wasn't. I finaly got my girl, at least I acheived that in life. I am looking into the horizon, I am at peace with myself. I have acomplished things that may not change the world in these last few days, but have made an impact on myself. I have been a free spirit, for these last few days, and I feel like nothing can shake me. As I look at her for the last time, I wonder if we could've been together had things been different. In an alternative universe, I will chase love.-A free spirit
-- Chickdove on 3/11/2017 2:28:52 PM

9. I knew it was her. But I was stupid. How could I think she wouldn't catch onto me? Is my last thought as ERROR blinks on my screen. My last that is to hope Becky is safe, and that she will rise above Miranda. In another life, I'll do everything in my power to protect her... I'll chose a different path, and another, and another. Untill, finally, we can be together.-A loser of the love-hack war.
-- Chickdove on 3/11/2017 2:33:16 PM

10. I didn't realise it was more than an AI I thought convincing it would be pointless, I was wrong. I begged it to stop my suffering it killed me. I should've thought it more than a compputer. It got it's revenge. I will trust it with my life, perhapes in another life, I will remember this.-The one who thought a computer was just a computer
-- Chickdove on 3/11/2017 2:37:44 PM

11. Something inside me, it begged me not to listen to the logical side of me. Told me not to dare touch rockerchick. I didn't Next time, I won't let this get in my way...I will win, I have no idea why I fight anymore, I thought I would, but I don't. All I know is someone is up to no good. The last thought going through my mind is, someday, someday...I'll have my revenge.-Loser of the hack war
-- Chickdove on 3/11/2017 2:41:46 PM

12. revenge was certainly not sweet, I fail to realise why I hated Shadow so much, but I do. I tell myself he isn't the real enemy just as many times as I tell myself "i was right". And as I die after my miserable days alone, I remember something. something that will certainly change my next path, I am stuck in this loop untill I suceed to save someone, and that someone is Rockerchick. Then I die, alone, but knowing I will come back untill I suceed.
-- Chickdove on 3/11/2017 2:46:14 PM

13. Suicide, the only way, I shoot myself, nothing else goes through my head. Except this: I know what I must do, Miranda is the enemy, to break the loop, I must stop her, And as I pull the trigger, I am back in bed, back where I started. I sigh and call again, ordering the same shelter, again, this time, I'll get it right-
-- Chickdove on 3/11/2017 2:50:38 PM

14. Well, that was that, I didn't know why, I knew the right path, but perhapes I know I have to find all of them, I left, I feel asleep, I don't wake up, but yet again, I do. I wake up every time, yet nothing I do is remembered, I am a type of time-traveler, seeking every timeline posible, this is going to take longer than I thought.
-- Chickdove on 3/11/2017 2:54:40 PM

15. I’ve been posting too many comments XD well this happened just the same as the rest. Dead, again. I wont tell what happened. ou have a pretty good guess by now, I'm sure. anyways, here we go again, my quest to get every ending is taking too long. I'll probably take a break.
-- Chickdove on 3/11/2017 2:57:53 PM

16. I folowed my motto, but again, it failed, it failed me. Next time, I will try to help others. Wait I've already tried that. Now it is time for a change, I've gotten like one "good ending, the one where I win the hack-war, and live with Becky. This time, I'm doing something different.
-- Chickdove on 3/11/2017 3:09:17 PM

Holy shit. And these were all left just today?!

Looks like she played it for about two and half hours.

Well at least she finally found an epilogue today. Lol.

EPIC I finaly got an epiluoge. I managed to join the compaound and turn it into the allience. This is my favorite ending by far, I wonder, what else could happen... if I joined a different side.

-- Chickdove on 3/12/2017 9:32:51 AM

Fark... 

Apparently, this is what happens when you take a glass of concentrated absinthe-espresso cocktail and drink while watching Inception. A dream where you dream of dreams you are dreaming of and dream dreams where you wake up from a dream and loop a lollapalooza and oh fark haywire dreams while spinning pike a theater couree and spaghetti with chickenheads... 

No, I was not drunk when I wrote that part. I was simply dazzled and spun around at all that happened in some simple walk. 

Because you spun me, this is not the best story ever. But not the worst, too. 5/8. 


REMEMBER, KIDS! DRINKING ABSINTHE-ESPRESSO COCKTAILS WHILE WATCHING INCEPTION WHILE RUNNING ON TREADMILLS SPINNING AT 50 TIMES THE SPEED OF CENTRIFUGAL FORCE IS BAD FOR YOUR HEALTH!

-- AgentX on 2/18/2017 8:11:59 PM

 

DUDE.

SPOILER WARNING.

GOD DAMMIT.

I mean, thanks for saving me the 15 minutes I'd have wasted trying to read that piece of shit, but still.

Some shitty minecraft story that I just took down

100 fucking words and you couldn't bother to spell half of them correctly.

There's absolutely nothing positive that can be said about this, other than the fact that it's obviously getting removed, sooner rather than later. The forced restarts don't even make it a very time efficient way of reaping a point.

-- mizal on 3/26/2017 5:01:28 PM with a score of 0

That first line made me laugh quite a bit.

Malk's was funnier, and closer to what I was thinking.

Is the story unpublished or outright deleted? Curious to know what the other comments were

Danke. In other news, Malkalack got no chill.

I'm pretty sure he republished it.

It has been republished ^_^ how sad.

didn't like this game. The riddle made no sense at ALL 1/8

-- RainbowDash on 3/27/2017 8:55:07 PM

Riddle. Not riddles. Riddle. Meaning she got only one riddle into the game and failed at that one riddle. That's just sad.

Lol, I just saw that one.

:/ many things not understood with this one.

I think about 80% of her posts have been stuff like "I don't get it," or "I don't understand."

She's like Tim. Except, instead of feeling like she's just not paying attention, she gives the impression of genuinely lacking the cognitive skills necessary to understand shit.

Repression

The group hug ending was just wrong. Seriously a red line has been crossed.

-- Iquarius on 3/28/2017 12:42:18 PM

Love SICK

I LOVED THIS BOOK! I might do the same thing to Jeniffer next time I see her (the poem and stripping of course)

-- Jihad on 3/29/2017 11:24:39 AM

To Iquarius:

This is ENDMASTER we're talking about. The line is far, far away.

The last part of the comment was just too funny to let languish in the FWW section.

"But at the moment I feel like it's probably better for their overall site experience (and ours!) to just, not sign up, rather than to be docked points/banned for shit posting or have their stories mocked and then unpublished because they're shitty children who are only capable of producing shit."

- Mizal's stance on children in general

Or they could just announce their age in the blurb of their game, and then everybody will rate the game really highly because they feel sorry for them! ^_^

Welcome to another episode of Immature Children.

Some of the riddles made no sense, like the one with the bus driver. How was I supposed to know his eye color? You should check out Dungeon Stompage by EndMaster. When your asked a riddle, you can type out the answer. See if you can figure out how to do this and your "story" would get a much higher rating.
-- Apollo118 on 9/10/2016 5:21:43 PM with a score of 0

Kid was recommending a storygame and couldn't even get the authors fucking name right.

it sucked booty cheeks
-- nawuisha on 9/9/2016 2:08:12 PM with a score of 0

Wouldn't be a true immaturity festival if there wasn't some mention of sucking "booty cheeks"

good... for your boredom!!!:[
-- wetern123410 on 10/9/2016 4:05:45 P

Watch out people, we have a rad new emoji and it's called !!!:[

Dungeon Stompage by Endmaster... think of the possibilities! Nice catch

A Very Special Choose Your Story

This is literally the worst story i have played Endmaster has seriously been letting me down lately. I mean come on there are lines that you just cant cross.

-- Iquarius on 4/12/2017 1:12:12 PM

Love SICK

Endmaster is seriously getting worse at this

-- Iquarius on 4/12/2017 1:17:46 PM

I sure hope so.

Dude joined a month ago. Seems to me he just recently read some of your more questionable games and went "Ohno End is so bad i h8 him"

Apparently, moral story means better story. Pssh.

Well what makes it funnier is this guy awhile back sent me a PM praising Necromancer/Death Song and I had a whole positive conversation with him.

Eternal

it is too long make it shorter and put pictures and more color

-- Unknown on 4/21/2017 6:21:27 PM with a score of 0

EM, that is how you can have a perfect 8/8 story. Make it a thousand red words with a green background. Instead of using spaces between words, put a picture of a cat in there.

Wow, too bad we don't know his name. He could have gone down in history as the worlds biggest fool.

Seriously, why do we pretend non-Cystians are even human? Get an account or get out.

Yeah! For all we know, they could be genderless robots or unicorns.

It makes me really uncomfortable to see 'genderless' used to emphasize the robot's inhuman nature in this way. As if not having a gender is strange or makes one less of a person.*

*actual complaint made by a COGite

You should just make Eternal a movie, so reading isn't required at all. I mean, reading is hard.

We've been over this, such a thing would be too depraved and twisted for the masses. No one could bear to watch it and if they did it just proves they're a sick and demented serial killer rapist. You know, a creep. Like End.

Not on a story, but just too good to not put here.

"I don't believe in God and I just think about homosexuals." - Danaos

Lol.

Clear example of why Atheism is the path to sin.

Dead Man Walking

You shouldn't include bad words and make the story shorter.

-- JASON ZHOU on 4/27/2017 8:59:10 PM with a score of 4410

This is probably the first time I've seen someone else get this complaint.

I think Kiel, Steve, and 3J got this a few times, but strangely it was never about the swearing.

Firk Ding Blast! Blarg Blarg Flargan!

Actually this was a pretty average day at my school

Nice descriptions, actually the only major problems I had with it is you had a ton of one slot "continue" choices. Would've been better had you branched the choices out in how you wanted to torture and kill people. Or even if it was just one person you could've stretched it out with more choices rather than giving ALL the description on one page.

Like after you chopped off all the teachers fingers with a dull rusty knife you had the choice to either scoop out her eyeballs with a fondue fork and skull fuck her to death or get a hot curling iron and penetrate her with it.

It's choices like this that can make all the difference.

There were also a lot of long stretches of blank spaces between text for some reason.

But I'm sure your next story will be better being a demon king tyrant and all.

-- EndMaster on 4/1/2013 11:40:21 PM

I remember finding this amusing:

Okay everyone, I want you all to leave really nice comments because this is Silvermoon's very first game EVER. Her first game was definitely not a game called "Warrior Cats, an Epic Adventure" which got unpublished for it's extremely poor quality. Also Silvermoon, if people do give you negative feedback, don't worry. At least Silvermoon liked it... Oh wait >.>
-- Briar_Rose on 6/15/2014 5:06:24 AM

On Bucky's flash romance thing:

'If you really pay attention to the story it does tug on your heart slightly. What really spoke to me was wanting to rid of the colors.'

Just slightly! I mean if you really really pay attention.

But since over reliance on references came up in another topic, I kind of had to chuckle a little because here we have one of the follies of forgetting the ages of the children here when wanting to paint things black.

Same story.

Palepaper are you even a real person? That's a Rolling Stones reference

-- Malkalack on 5/3/2017 6:33:31 PM with a score of 0

Malk she's Crescent's little friend, they are tiny babies and we should be happy for them, they still have so many years and opportunities ahead of them to discover what real music sounds like.

Oh how I love it when commas are not used...

 

This sucked the end

-- gamebruh on 5/12/2015 12:35:43 PM

E:Shit! I mean punctuation not commas! Mizal is going to kill me.

Lol.

I never posted one from my own storygames. There's two that give me a kick.
From No Quarter
*************************
I like the idea, and the pictures lent it a certain feel, and added to the depth and plot, and it certainly branched out, but there was no well-defined plot, and while it is easy to guess that same plot, it still could use some brightening. It has a somber mood that works well with the length of the story, and the words are easy to read and understand. There are a lot of great qualities to this story, and they compliment the bad qualities very well, but, to my eyes, if you fixed just one of the bad qualities the story would be ruined. You have a ton of potential, and I would love to see another story. You grasped the story, and made it a summary, but made the summary a story of its own. You could give a choice on the second page though, instead of 2 pages in a row of no choices. Keep it up, though!

-- Anonymous on 1/29/2017 3:37:58 PM
*************************************************
" if you fixed just one of the bad qualities the story would be ruined"... what does that and quite frankly all of the other ramblings even mean?

From Life as a Time Traveler
**********************************
This story is actually really good heck it could actually be used as a plot to a movie if someone wanted to 

Actually that gives me a idea brb stealing this idea

-- Bob the idea stealer on 3/23/2016 1:26:58 PM with a score of 0
**********************************
Oh, the humor of middle schoolers with far too much time on their hands.

The Price of Freedom

fuck you .you suck cock great story by the way

-- tanner gillis on 5/12/2017 1:51:31 PM with a score of 0

Guess this guy had a change of heart midway through his insulting comment.

It looks like he morphed into a different person halfway through.

My brother was showing one of our friends the site and let him play a story so I guess my brother wasn't watching. In that time our friend posted that comment.

This is the best story I've read so far. This is amazing keep it up! I rated it 9.

Addition
Missle0945 (Score of 0)
5/4/2017 7:22:15 PM

They enjoyed it so much they made a new rating.

Found this old post on another website talking about us.

Some guy called Dark  (Seen that name around here before) commenting on several stories and had some rather strong opinions on Mommy. Lol.

Dead man walkng was exceptional, as was dungeon stompage, I also enjoyed the crab fighting game just for amusement value though that is hardly a story.

Snow however  I didn't rate at all, sinse it seems A, that the thing was so on rails you got little choice before the end, and for most of the game there was so clearly a correct vs not correct path it made for nothing to play, and B, the relationship and circumstances were so generic as  to feel artificial.

I have read stories of that romance followed by slightly ghostly tinge before, however they need to  have som  implicit reality in the romance, to make you think this is a character who really existed. Some generic fantasy girl who ticks all the hollywood boxes just won't do the thing justice at all, likewise the trope of "dead girl isn't it sentimental"  hacknied at the time of  dickens, indeed Dickens' own story the signalman which take the supernatural visitor  premeise     premise but uses a very realistic character and totally avoid the romance  angle is probably the best story I know with that theme.

so, credit on the attempt with snow, but  the execution, generic plot, lack of choice and pretty unrealistic romance just made the hole thing down right disappointing for me.

Regarding mommy can I go out and kill tonight, well my feelings are a little mixed. Technically this was  is down right awsome,  having  rpg mechanics almost as serious as in dungeon stompage and it was pretty obvious that the author was experienced with descriptions and character creation.

My problem however was the entire theme and ethos of the story. Ooooh look, your a hard case who's awsome at everything, and you have a bad but  somehow beautiful    girlfriend, and you swear and  carry guns and are a bad ass but also have some sort of generic  anxty tragic past!

Frankly it just ticked every box I hate about hollywood heroes and completely unrealistic   main characters or responses, indeed I confess this trope of "look man who goes through bad experience and is an ultimate hard case"  is rapidly getting A, boring, and B, very irritating for it's unreality sinse of all the responses I've seen to really traumatic personal events  becoming some sort of mix between rambo, blade the vampire hunter, james bond and  lethal weapon just isn't one of them.

In fact, to be brutally honest this sterriotype of "oooo! look at my amxt, look at me being an arse hole" just dam well annoys me and I often want to see the vilains win against such characters!

even when not carrying a gun the amount of references to him being able to just kill people by scowling angrily at them and the "oooh look, here is a police officer doing his job,  look how much a bad arse you are sinse you think about brutally killing him for no reason with your amazingly weerd skilsl" just got up my nose.

As I said, technically the game was  great, I just found the  overdose of  machismo and attempt at anxt really irritating and rather formula and annoying.

Weird, I don’t really remember the protagonist being overly macho asshole. I guess I’d have to re-read the story.

In any case at least Berka has a really big fan out there as he liked all his stories.

The fact that he was considering killing the police officer is indicative of TOXIC MASCULINITY.

The multiple fails at the spelling of simple words in that review just ticks every box I hate and really gets up my nose.

There were some misspelled words, and that you have to fix them. Also, the story was short, and your title is incorrect. It is supposed to be Polly Wanna Cracker? Or Does Polly Want a Cracker? 

Story wasn't that great. But anyway, nice job. 

Polly wanna cracker?
Daka da Maka (Score of 0)
5/23/2017 10:38:39 PM

*Gets spelling wrong in the same sentence spelling was criticized*

*Criticizes title because not all the words start with a capital letter*

*Basically says, "story was bad but good job"*

*Complete fail at grammar in the second two thirds*

*Is a fucking guest*

I didn't even realize this was your story until I checked. Lol.

Some Hockey Quiz story.

I hope you die. :D

-- Andrew on 5/31/2017 11:43:53 PM with a score of 0

I just thought the happy emote afterwards was a nice touch.

Necromancer

*scoff*
Good evening to you fellow CYSers, i was having a splendid afternoon, sipping a mixture of black coffee and mt dew when i sat down in my recliner to rea this, i immediately spat out my fine elixer. BAD STORY
never read, stay away,

Sincerely

Badboy27 (follow me on playstation)

-- badboy27 the destroyer of worl on 6/5/2017 2:49:11 PM

You heard him folks, follow him on playstation if you want to be cool. Lol.

Glad you clipped it before I deleted it haha!

I'm not sure how stupid you need to be to request follows on playstation like that...

The Price of Freedom: Innocence Lost

parts of it were hard to understand. I come from a Christian background so the concept of slavery and forcing children to kill is foreign to me, let alone, it being acceptable in ancient times. certain liberties were taken I assume. gladiators were men, not children and I highly doubt a master would allow a child to fight in the arena

-- JasonX on 6/19/2017 1:53:07 AM with a score of 0

I'm not really laughing due to the dude's religion here, but more the fact that someone with a Christian background (and presumably has read the bible) should be pretty familiar with the concept of slavery.

This guy obviously hasn't heard of Toddler Fight Club

It always pisses me off that these people never have accounts to tag because holy shit, where do you even start with this?

Doesn't the Bible have rules about how to treat your slaves? 

Ground Zero

Great story. Reading this to my wife and letting her choose made a long drive fly by. You Rock!

-- Robert H on 6/19/2017 10:57:24 PM

Another marriage saved!

I hope he wasn't the one driving...

Thumbtacks were invented in 1900, yet this is supposed to be a fantasy setting.

0/10 literally unplayable.

-- FazzTheMan on 6/21/2017 10:31:39 PM with a score of 0

Weird, I don't even remember putting a reference to thumbtacks in the story.

He gave it a rating so low that it was nonexistant because of thumbtacks...

What storygame was this on?

Innkeeper.

Though I checked what he really rated it, and he didn't actually rate it low at all, he just wrote a comment like that for the lulz I guess.

Hey man, I want my immersion.

Wait, you can see how individual people rated stories?

Well yeah, it's a magical admin power. I know Seth mentioned it once on here before.

I can also see IPs of anyone who rated a story whether they're a proper member or a filthy unregistered guest.

Sort of amusing when someone tries to get around the system by rating a story a 1 and then uses a registered account to rate a story a 1 a second time (or vice versa).

Not sure if that actually works though, and I don't imagine it would be any more effective since even if the site is counting the "guest" rating separately, it still isn't going to do much damage (Or much help).

Aha, brb, am re-rating your stories...

Bet it's even funnier when they log out and do it over and over again...

'That story was perfect to send my already fugged up pre-teen mind into serial killer territory... Thanks End!

-- TheDickReviewer on 12/27/2014 7:31:16 AM'

Hey, that's my comment!

Innkeeper

Was really fun. I liked that different choices brought on very different story lines. There were a few typos I think but it was still a blast! Also.. I did notice some one mentioned something about thumbtacks not being invented in a fantasy game with no real time frame that can invent anything it wants whenever it wants. They can go fuck them selves. Magic was not invented either. Just saying. Great work! Keep it up.

-- Doc Jay on 6/25/2017 2:37:41 AM with a score of 0

Vindicated.

Insanity Castle

Hey that's pretty good 
#remember the flowerpot 

-- Steveend on 6/25/2017 7:54:58 PM with a score of 0

Without a doubt my favorite comment ever.

Great Game You did good. *highfive*
-- MillenniumDawn on 7/1/2017 3:23:17 PM

On a story by MillenniumDawn.

(Comment was made by an offline user so probably not actually him, but still, I laughed.)

Dead Man Walking

guck the stupid shit head author this isn't realistic at all you stupid dumb author

-- on 7/3/2017 4:45:31 PM with a score of 3660

Berka's been getting a lot more trolly comments than usual.

Same fool doing that to a lot of games haha!

Great game but add a McDonalds then will be perfect key? And can you make each scene a little more to the point it takes a long time to read and i don't really need to know what the zombies are dressed like kek?!? -- Ronald McDonald on 7/6/2017 2:18:24 PM with a score of 9560

Put down that Big Mac and stop undressing my zombies with your eyes!

Achilles 2: The Chykri

1/8 for the self-righteous atheism and promotion of interspecies marriage which is somehow even more damaging than interracial marriage.

-- Victim on 7/8/2017 11:55:43 AM with a score of 0

I don't remember either of those things in the story to any great degree, but it's Steve so it's always funny to see someone insult him and everything he stands for. Lol.

Man, why did Berka ever ban that guy, he's great.

Years Gone By

Very short, I'm very bored anyone wanna fuck?
-- johj on 7/11/2017 7:37:04 AM

Awakening of the Tower

This is surprisingly entertaining but I am very bored and horny. Could be better if you added a sexual encounter in it!

-- Johnharrisneedspussy! on 7/11/2017 7:45:14 AM with a score of 8

Cantina Band: Dusty Death in D-Minor

Would be better if you could have sex
-- I'm so bored thats why I am co on 7/11/2017 7:48:55 AM

Seduction

I was looking forward to roleplay sex but there was none of that! Extremely horny and dissapointed
-- HornyJohn on 7/11/2017 7:52:10 AM

Obviously this guy got lost on his way to Literotica.

Why don't quality reviewers like this ever make accounts?

E: I expected a lot more from a story called Seduction, he may have fair points there.

Ground Zero

I get the story, but the tape was unecessary. This guy could use an editor. 

-- TheBlackFL33T on 7/13/2017 7:38:26 PM

Says I need an editor. 

Proceeds to misspell words in a single sentence. Lol.

On Will's How Not to Write story:


YASsss! POKEMAN! I LOVE THIS! SUPER HELPFUL AND IT WAS AWWESOMEEE!! I'M A WEAIBO AND A FURRY AND IM PROUD OF IT!!!!!!!!
-- them anime addict on 6/7/2017 9:03:28 PM

I'm not actually sure what's going on here, if they think Will picked Pokemon for his parody because he likes Pokemon and deserves to be mocked for it, or if they're just sharing a tidbit about their lives with the uncaring void of the internet.

1st and the Last of the Ninja

An eight year old hits on (one) of our resident pedos:

1 naruto 2 2282 3love your game it is the best pls make more in the future -- jeff21turtle on 7/9/2017 8:56:41 PM with a score of 360

1.naruto 2 2282 3 love it so much i like THAT SOMEONE MADE A NARUTO GAME ON HERE YOU ARE VERY INSPIREING -- jeff21turtle on 7/9/2017 8:44:41 PM with a score of 298

1. naruto usumaki 2.2282 3. love the game best online naruto game out there you have a lot of talint would love to chat some time -- jeff21turtle on 7/9/2017 7:28:21 PM with a score of 93

1 naruto 2 2282 3 preety good i like the fact that someone would take the time and effort to crate a game worth playing -- jeff21turtle on 7/8/2017 10:29:55 PM with a score of 64

That's just Azure being... the usual.

Jeff is Azure?

As far as I could tell they're two different people, just the same retarded mentality.

I'd be surprised if they're the same actually, Azure has a very specific trolling technique that the Asperger's never allows him to deviate from.

These seem related…

Prisoners of Pain

HORRIBLE YOU FOOL! THERE IS ONLY ONE GOD!!!!!
-- Anonymous on 7/31/2017 5:23:49 AM

Quinn

I am a proud MUSLIM MONOTHEIST and NOT anything else, how dare you write what you wrote in your story!!!!!
-- Haamid on 7/31/2017 6:39:35 AM with a score of 0

THERE IS ONLY ONE GOD AND HE HAS TENTACLES. THERE IS ONLY ONE AFTERLIFE AND IT HAS NON-EUCLIDEAN GEOMETRY!!!!!!!! FUCK YOU HEATHEN SCUMFUCKS!!!!

From our friendly neighborhood Saud.

Too bad I deleted his first comment though. You could practically hear the ululation in his mad rantings and smell the goat cheese caught in his scaly beard!

AIH YAI YAI YAI YAI YAI!!!

I'm worried for what discovering the rest of the internet will do to him...

I think Skyrim might give him a cardiac arrest.

A Very Special Choose Your Story

STUPID, HORRIBLE, DISGUSTING,DESPICABLE, TERRIBLE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
THERE IS ONLY ONE GOD!!!!!
MUSLINMS GO TO HEAVEN AND NON-MUSLIMS GO TO HELL YOU FOOLISH IDIOT!!!!
GAYNESS/LESBIANISM AND INCEST ARE HORRENDOUS SINS YOU MAGGOT!!!!
JEWS ARE TEERRORISTS, LOOK AT HOW THEY ARE KILLING INNOCENT PALESTINIANS AND SEIZING THEIR LANDS FOR THEIR OWN SELFISH MOTIVES!!!
-- Anonymous on 8/2/2017 2:37:17 AM

*MUSLIMS GO TO HEAVEN, AND NON-MUSLIMS GO TO HELL, YOU FOOLISH IDIOT!!!!!
-- Anonymous on 8/2/2017 2:53:36 AM

Lol.

That had to be someone reading this thread.

I'm beginning to doubt this guy is even a real muslim.

Eternal

The way this story was written, was like an illiterate 12 year old beating a chimpanzee to death, and then getting eaten by a castrated Caracal. The english used was like that of an ancient Briton peasant child.

All in all, it is so horrid that even a blind man would score it high out of pity.

-- Kodrus Aeterna on 8/9/2017 9:21:32 PM with a score of 0

I feel like this was a CYS forum lurker who wrote this one.

Eternal

This story is basically Night Trap 2...

-- Dana Plato on 8/18/2017 3:09:30 PM with a score of 0

Holy shit, a dead 80s child star came back from the grave and she's here on the site!

Night Trap was re-released as a 25th Anniversary Edition recently, so it would be topical right about now. I presume whoever left the comment was really really engrossed by a game that was (apparently) so bad that it was good. I wouldn't read to deeply into this one though, and I presume they're calling it NT2 based on the sequence with the elven trainer.

Eternal

You still can't write dude...

-- Kiel_Farren on 8/18/2017 4:28:05 PM with a score of 0

LOL

That's the best one yet! Which one of you wrote that one? Definitely a keeper.

EDIT: It was Endeavour. (Probably, his IP is all over the recent 1s and 2s and strangely 8s near the top)

That's a gold comment. I was convinced for half a second, but then I remembered that even if Kiel did come back he wouldn't do it just to bash on you lol.

So of course I was correct in that it was Endeavour. He confessed in a PM. (Apparently he can't post on the forums due to using a Wii) 

Apparently he was also Krodus (had a feeling that was someone here) Dana Plato (Figured that one might have been him after I figured out the Kiel one) and "Love Prevails" on another story. 

So it looks like his hobby is leaving odd comments on my stories for whatever reason.

It's probably because he knows that if he leaves weird comments on your stories, then he'll get recognized on this forum. Just about the only way he can get attention without retaliation.

Daddy issues.

Found this while digging in the IS graveyard…

Eternal - 10 - Jul 26, 2017

Nine people have rated this. Nine.

In five years.

Somehow I get the feeling Rogues is never getting copied over to this sad old graveyard, no matter how many fond memories you have of desecrating corpses here...

Mizal

Considering Legend is already over there, I've already considered not bothering, but I'll probably try to copy it over there anyway. (Yes, I'm still working on it)

Necromancer

Poorly written.
Meh plot
Meh Characters
A solid 4/10
-- Atryx10 on 9/13/2017 9:15:18 AM

Eternal

One of the worst stories I've read in my entire life.
Not only do you not get to kill the fucking cuntbag of wasted space, there's also a fucking aushwitz reference thrown in just for the sake of it
-- Atryx10 on 9/13/2017 12:44:01 PM with a score of 0


So far the IPs don’t match, but if this is Endeavour fucking around again, I’m going to be severely disappointed by the fake outrage. (And docking points for getting my hopes up)

Endeavor is scum and can eat American English instead of shit.

Oh Sentinel, got one for you for a change!

Randomly Walk II, The epic sequel.

HEY ASSHOLE FUCK NIGGER SHITFACE PUNK, REMEMBER ME?!

-- SAINT_999 on 10/6/2017 10:07:34 AM

Glad to see he got over his anger issues.

Why Sentinel of all people? I don't even understand why he went off on him in the first place, but Sent was actually cool with him afterwards when he posted the fake story about his mom.

Are we sure it's Saint and not someone here just having fun?

Anyway I'm glad this makes my Saint story still vaguely relevant even after BM's drama.

Could be someone messing around. The most recent IP of the "guest" (I'm assuming he rated it a 1) on Sent's story is different than Saint's old one, but he could just be posting from elsewhere. The guest IP doesn't match anyone else here that I can find either.

I like how he tried to ramp it up each time by going up on the scale of swear severity. And then he couldn't come up with anything worse than "nigger" so he ended on "Punk". It's like a perfect Insult Palindrome.

I'm wondering what the hell it is about that Phoenician trading story that draws so many spam comments. Every so often it just gets a bunch of them.

I can only guess the author isn't in the cool kids club at his school.

Again, this is a good example of what I said earlier about the Phoenician Trade Game story. This story just gets blasted with spammy driveby guest comments for some odd reason every other month or so. Have no idea why.

bob can good
-- bob on 11/3/2017 2:39:37 PM with a score of 0

Thanks for letting me live if i had die i would have been mad but i lived so im happy
-- JOPRGE on 11/3/2017 2:38:50 PM with a score of 0

It was ok not horrible but ok.ok.ok.ok.mmmmmmmmk
-- Robert on 11/3/2017 2:37:44 PM with a score of 0

hisssssss why did you make me die that was not nice
-- POBLO on 11/3/2017 2:34:46 PM with a score of 0

I hate homework,and nothing beats reeces. But cool game.
-- Anthony on 11/3/2017 11:16:49 AM with a score of 0

i always know how to do that (a.k.a.) IMA SUCK YOU!!!!
-- SKINNY JEANS little boisss on 11/3/2017 10:30:58 AM with a score of 0

Ima suck you
-- billy mase here on 11/3/2017 10:29:02 AM with a score of 0

I WILL BUILD THAT WALL NO MATTER HOW LONG IT TAKES!!!!!
-- Donald Trump on 11/3/2017 10:27:03 AM with a score of 0

IM RICK HARRISON AND DIS IS MY PAWN SHOP
-- rick harrison on 11/3/2017 10:26:59 AM with a score of 0

this game is a bleach worthy exprence
-- mc shuffle bottom on 11/3/2017 10:24:58 AM with a score of 0

i dont like the way it says
-- Littleboi 37 on 11/3/2017 10:23:50 AM with a score of 0

hi
-- nuckleback mc sand done on 11/3/2017 10:22:24 AM with a score of 0

Isn't that story pretty old? Maybe a teacher is passing out links.

This one Dini wrote for Inseparable made me smile:

Mizal, I have to say that this story had me choked up. The way you wrote this book had a delicate somewhat feel to the book, and I loved how intricate it was, and the plot was really touching. Mondy is indeed like a porcelain doll.

I loved the serious feel to it, and I'm actually glad that you didn't write it for comedic purposes. I commend you on this game as it was beautiful and extremely touching.

I didn't notice that many grammar mistakes or misuses, and I'm quite relieved. As Alekos had stated, "the vagueness of Mondy and the entire village is amazing," is quite true.

You wrote the most heartbreaking and beautiful story which I have ever read by you. It was serious, tragic and it was filled with romance, and I adored it. Fantastic job, 8/8.
-- DiniTheWizard on 11/6/2017 8:21:05 AM with a score of 0

I feel like she may have missed a few details, but as more reviews roll in over time it's going to be interesting seeing how many have this interpretation vs Berka and Romulus'
'Ew!' and 'I need a shower.'

Alternatively, maybe Dini knew exactly what you were writing about and is just really into that kind of stuff.

Necrophilia is always beautiful and well, there is definitely a lot of touching :P

Did like Inseparable though, and when I realized he wasn't just sick, he was dead, well I half expected it but the revelation was still shocking.

I have to ask though, was Mondy dead when everyone started saying being with him was an abomination?

Well that was the point you start carrying your taxidermied Real Doll husband around with you everywhere you went so yes.

I'm actually really pleased it all turned out more open for interpretation than I intended though, that always makes reading a story and thinking about it more fun.

x'D Yeahhhhh that'd do it. 

Ahahaha, this comment has been featured now.

I love it, now future readers have to scroll down to find any that might spoil them on the twist.

Well... there was a lot of words typed... So, I suppose that can justify featuring a user's genuine view on a storygame (especially if it helps the reader better enjoy the story albeit unintentionally on Dini's part).

I specifically didn't add a Horror tag because I didn't want anyone to go in with that expectation. I heartily approve a featured comment misleading people further.

Awwiee! Merci Mizal for your kind words! You made the best story-game ever, and that just topped Among The Trees by Steve. I can always count on you for your touching books which make me laugh and smile. The way you wrote about Inseparable.. I can't really describe my emotions.. It was phenomenal. Fantastic job, and I'm looking forward to more romance stories written by you. 

It was kinda short but I feel that the substance of the story makes up for it. It was well written and you set up the scenes and places with a good amount of description.

Spoilers.

It seemed to take quite the turn at the end, but it makes sense to me. While I can't be absolutely sure I'm pretty sure a certain somebody is probably a cold, stiff, corpse or something lmao.

-- corgi213 on 11/7/2017 8:37:05 PM with a score of 0

Edit: nevermind that last part, after reading some of the comments it seems apparent he is some sort of doll oops

-- corgi213 on 11/7/2017 8:39:10 PM with a score of 0

RIP corgi the gullible one.

Digitization

This is the story game that I worked on for a long time. Please send me a message explaining what bugs there might be. Also DON'T UNPUBLISH THIS GAME!

-- JeromeHatik on 11/10/2017 12:41:41 PM with a score of 0

If it's anything like several of his other stories, he'll give me little recourse.

Yeah, I thought that was a bit pathetic, but the game itself was so so.

I've already unpublished a couple of his past stories and I had to tell him to stop republishing his Out of Time one since it doesn't meet site standards.

I'm going to PM him again later and see if he'll get involved with the Workshop and such. I get the sense he's genuinely trying with his games, which makes it more frustrating that he just doesn't seem to get certain things. We could have another Minnie situation on our hands, but first he needs to be more receptive to the things everyone is repeatedly telling him.

Welp, never mind I guess. He was a beautiful soul, too autistic for this world.

What did he do? XD

Took down all his stories.

And there may have been some PMs exchanged about site standards and an unwillingness to learn. Lol.

Ooooh. So I'm guessing he was someone who kept republishing everything then.

Basically it was just the one story like 4 times and then when I told him that if he did it again I'd just delete it, he demanded a "legitimate reason" to why it was getting taken down. I told him to read the fucking guidelines and that it was failing to meet standards with a 2.5 and falling.

What does he do? He republishes it AGAIN and says that he's in the "clear" because he "fixed" all the problems with the story.

So at that point I deleted it and docked him points. Then his newest story also fell to 2.5 and I unpublished that too.

Guess it was all a bit too much so he took down all of his stories and nothing of value was lost.

Yikes. I guess my featured comment on one of his stories is now gone, so boohoo. I put my soul into that End.. But I do have to say, his story was pretty shitty and I didn't really like it. Maybe Mizal has to teach him the basics of writing a good book or something among those lines. 

Wow. Stubborn :P

Eternal

I hate you. Suck on that.

-- mizal on 11/12/2017 11:37:26 AM with a score of 0

Oh come on, if you're going to pretend to be Mizal, she'd at least have more creativity than that.

My thoughts exactly, before I deleted it.

Maybe that's what I WANTED you to think.

On Inepta Academy:


i liked it because i was dreaming about it and i could see picture out the words when you say the word you can picture lot of staff in the story
-- ignacious on 5/15/2017 8:21:48 PM with a score of 0


Kids, don't do drugs.

I'm gonna go with: commenter whose first language isn't English, but wanted to compliment the evocative descriptions in the story 

Mine was funnier.

Waiting For a Train

YOUR STORY LITERALLY GAVE ME ANAL CANCER BECUZ OF HOW EDGY AND EMO IT WAS, IVE HONESLTY FOUND A REASON TO FINALLY KILL MYSLEF 420BLAZE DEDIQATED WAM 4 MINECRAFT SERVER

-- MILF DESTROYER 69 on 11/20/2017 9:51:45 PM with a score of 0

End are you sure that's not you because I would absolutely believe MILF DESTROYER was an online handle you've used at least once in your life.

This comment deserves to be featured. x'D 

hahaha... you have no idea about what is like to be cursed. You think life would end so easily for one who is cursed? If one dies young I would say that person is blessed. Live through life with all your loved ones dead and a hopeless life with no future. Maybe then you'll know how it is to grow old as a cursed old man. ;)

-- cursed on 11/18/2017 3:32:58 AM

I’m glad some cursed old man decided my storygame was worth his time.

By Any Means Necessary

Ha, the Black Panthers were the furthest thing from heroes; they were nothing short of terrorists. Your writing reveals your Communist scum self to be even more ignorant than the Black Panthers.
-- Victim on 10/11/2017 9:01:40 PM with a score of 0

Forgot to add: 1/8. The tag of staying far, far away could never be more true.
-- Victim on 10/11/2017 9:03:24 PM with a score of 0

Inseparable

Disgusting degeneracy.
-- Victim on 11/23/2017 4:58:54 PM with a score of 0

Lol.

Well, I mean, that last one is somewhat correct.

Waiting for the (Trump) Train

FUCK STEVE IN HIS HOMO SHITHOLE BITCH.

-- KAIN IS HERE on 11/26/2017 10:38:57 PM with a score of 123

At this point Kain has made so many references to fucking Steve in his shithole I think he's in love with him.

My favorite thing about Kain is this elaborate roleplay scenario he's got going on in his mind where he's a supervillain terrorizing the site or something.

One of the less objectionable trolls at least since he sometimes puts some effort into creating entertaining characters to post with. (Makes you wonder why he doesn't just use the site normally since he's putting the time in either way but that's autism for you, alas...)

My storygame has wrought some very fascinating comments. :)

Dear EndMaster,

I finished one ending. It was epic! However, I saw in previous comments that some people want an ending where the MC ends up with Semra.

Please, please, please. Make this happen. She's so hated by the MC it just seems almost irrational to me, despite the realistic and believable plot.
-- Wilfred on 11/8/2017 9:44:43 AM with a score of 0


Why does he hate Semra, I don't understand, she's just so likeable! Why isn't he doing something realistic like fucking her instead????

Everyone knows that hatred doesn't exist. Only love can! So when you get abused for your entire childhood and then part of your adulthood by a fantasy nazi, it just means you're destined to make sweet love in the future.

Well to be fair, he still hate fucks her a couple times.

Weird, either I'm going insane or something is off with the time stamp on this post. It's showing 54 minutes ago and I know you made it yesterday...

Yeah Kain showed up and posted his brand of retardation here. I ended up deleting some stuff and just moving the poetry bit to the Lounge.

The Ancient Island of Z's

Great plot, really short though. Wished you put it more effort than it takes to take a shit.

-- Dylanw on 11/28/2017 12:45:42 PM with a score of 0

To be fair, UndeadLover probably wrote that story in between stabbing orderlies in the face with shivs and shock treatment sessions.

I like to think elaborate escape sequences are involved every time she needs to log in.

Surviving School

What in child molestation is this shit?

-- KelanIsGod on 12/4/2017 10:17:17 PM

Unusual choice of words for that phrase. (Which is usually "What the hell is this shit? or What the fuck is this shit?")

On Wibbons' Trump Train story:


... ?
what?
... THIS IS MADDNESS!
very strang and confusing @weirdness.stupiditlyentertaining
-- ohh? on 12/7/2017 2:35:54 AM with a score of 0


very strang and confusing @weirdness.stupiditlyentertaining is one of those sentences so sublime it just transcends the English language.

I had another (now deleted) one on this storygame that made me laugh as well. It was:

Boring

-Gay Jay

JJJ would love this one.

Order of the Midnight Sun

No freedom of choice. the author (who I imagine is a disgrunteled virgin) has alredy chosen the "right" path. if u are looking for a real cyoa stay clear of this peace of shit....

-- costycaro on 12/16/2017 12:39:39 PM with a score of 309

I, for one, applaud the fact that new members are rating and commenting on stories.

Repression

I can't believe the most reasonable path(at least in my opinion) leads to group incest orgy! Really made me laugh!

-- Zeus on 1/6/2018 10:41:28 AM

Seems like something Zeus would say.

Not 'interesting' in the usual sense of this thread, but I'm preserving this rare example of @Chris113022 doing something useful for posterity. (I'd recommend it for featuring, but it looks like the game he wrote it for will be culled.)

Attack. Defend. Attack. Defend. Attack. Defend. Attack. Defend. That's the game. Just saved you five boring minutes of your life wasted.

Anyway, I rarely give a serious review, but fuck it, I decided I'll try it today. This game is bad. I mean bad. There's no enjoyment to get out of it. There's not a drop of description for anything, so for all I know I could be an anthropomorphic glob of some grey goo with a long sword attacking the reanimated corpses of the Presidents, and honestly that sounds way cooler than I thought it would. Fuck it, that's what this game is, whacking zombie JFK with a sword over and over.

So what does this game have to offer beyond a combat system that is nothing but attack, defend, repeat until one of you falls over? Absolutely nothing. It gives you character creation as simple as 'are you a boy or a girl?' (hint this has no effect on the story) and 'what class are you?' and then it just throws you into the game with no reason for you to be there.

Like sure, some games have no plots. But those are things like quizzes, personality tests, etc.. I mean, take a look at something like Tower of Riddles. It easily could've been just a game of 'answer the riddle correctly then answer another riddle until you get to an end game link', but no, there was a story involved, something to engross the player.

Delve, which this is clearly a rip-off of, had a simplistic plot, but it was there: you're dungeon-crawling because you want treasure and you're fighting fantasy monsters. What does this have in the way of plot? You're a whatever thrown into an arena for whatever reason fighting whatevers. Who am I and what am I fighting? Why am I fighting it? Where the fuck is this arena?

I mean, sure, you can fill in the blanks like I did with anthropomorphic grey blob man chopping off Abe Lincoln's limbs, but the thing about stories are that they're supposed to present to you a cohesive plot. This just... Doesn't.

Now, as for the gameplay, I covered it like twice already. Click attack. Click defend. Repeat. The only variation is you'll be able to defend more I guess if you have a high defense and you can attack with other weapons you buy or receive from the game. It's such a boring system. It makes just wanna... Wanna... Wanna fall asleep...

Now, leveling up makes no fucking sense. Everytime you defeat an enemy, you get 100 EXP. You can choose between putting that into your defense, your speed, your insight, or your health... Well let's get it out of the way that the only stats that matter are health and defense. Insight, as far as I know, does jack shit. Same with speed. Defense allows you to take less damage when you, well, defend, and health... Well, I'll get to that.

Now, with health, you might figure upgrading it will increase your maximum health. No. After a fight, you do NOT regenerate health. Now, if you want to regenerate health, you have to upgrade it. And get this, remember how earlier I mentioned that you get 100 EXP? Well, upgrading one stat puts 50 into that stat. Fucking. FIFTY. That's half your EXP gone! You can't choose how much you put into a stat, you have to choose between putting fifty into this stat or fifty into that stat!

Now I get it, considering there are only two stats that do anything in the game, it makes sense to just half your EXP into those two, but what if you're on your first playthrough and don't know that? Then you're not sure what the fuck you're gonna do.

Now, as for the scripting, it's not bad. I mean it could be a lot better, but it could definitely be worse too. The author, to quote Mizal, has figured out scripting, but not how to piece together an enjoyable game with it. Polish up your scripting skills a bit and find someone who knows how to, I dunno, WRITE, and you might make yourself a good little RPG.

My rating for this is a 2/8, because the idea of the grey blob fighting dead presidents made me chuckle a bit while I was playing and plus the scripting wasn't completely godawful.
-- Chris113022 on 1/10/2018 6:07:55 PM with a score of 0

Interesting one for Berka.

Cows vs. Aliens!

It was good - Dana
It was STRANGE! - Cara
It was stupid! - from Hugh
It wasn't fun. - from Sierra
My students kept making really terrible choices! -D.T.

-- Dana's Class on 1/11/2018 11:49:50 PM with a score of 300

Kids these days, do they not even know how to play poker anymore?

Was Ok but I finished it in 30 seconds and it was also boring 3/8
-- Linda on 1/15/2018 4:43:42 AM

Why is accountless scum still allowed to rate/review? She should be tagged here and made to answer for her idiocy.

What is this comment on...?

That 'alleyway escape' game that I'm not bothering to link because it's at 1.73 already and will be gone soon.

But the point stands regardless that if a game takes 30 seconds to read and bores the crap out of you, don't give it a freakin 3/8.

I enjoyed Tim's reaction: he wanted to know if the lady was confusing her latest sexual encounter with a storygame.

Oovoo Javer

I think I was date raped by my uber driver

-- insanebutvain on 2/8/2018 6:24:45 PM with a score of 0

Should have read this one instead: http://chooseyourstory.com/story/don't-get-date-raped~21

Hello, EndMaster, Mizal, and anyone else that cares

As I was recently notified by our teacher, you and your administration team have chosen to completely remove my class' stories AND accounts. We are simply a class of 8th Graders at a Private School. This was for a class project that was for almost 100 points. This class determines our placement in 9th grade and could affect all of our grades. Points that would normally boost our grade have now been exempted by our teacher. Leaving some kids with Cs. Honestly, I am aware that some of our stories included both deadlinks, grammar issues, and what you called "unfinished stories" but is it really unnecessary to delete EVERYTHING. Instead of giving us constructive criticism and helping learn and grow and build better stories, you chose to not help at all slam the door on us and boot us. Without a single thought about anything, perhaps if you took a break from stuffing Cheetos into your mouth and scrolling through the website ALL DAY (seriously do you even have a job?) and thought about other people more you could be a better person than the ignoramus person you currently are.

-A ticked off student



...deliberately ignoring the multiple posts in which it was stated that spamming and harassment by koyfmanma and others were the reason the stories were deleted and the accounts banned.

Just Cs? What are they bitching about, they're still passing.

Hey, they referenced @Ogre11

I'm special.

End, are you a fan of Cheetos or Doritos? They're accusing you of some odd things, such as what you're eating currently. What strange students.

Prefer Doritos over Cheetos so the joke's on them.

Aw, that's sort of sweet. At least this student wants to put out effort. :)
To bad it's entirely misdirected and futile. ^_^

Getting small children held back in school... This may well be the most beautiful thing I've ever seen! (If only the children had put the same amount of effort into their games as that kid did in writing a post about the games being deleted.) 

It's okay, they made a point of how their parents paid 20k a year for the private school. They'll just fork over a few grand more for a grade boost, and it'll be okay.

Good point. 

Well we did wind up salvaging a couple of them, despite our best efforts.