I was gonna post something like this yesterday, as promised, but I seemed to keep recieving responses, so it never felt like there was a convenient time. Also, I couldn't have been arsed.
I gotta say, there was a diverse array of very interesting answers, and I had fun trying to guess who people were by the time I scrolled all the way to the bottom during the individual evaluations. We truly got a response from almost everybody- E
ven Shelvebert and Smelvbert!... And Guest, who I'm assuming is there to speak for all 73-108 of his kind that exist here at any moment, watching us from the shadows.
Some of you were very nice about your answers, like Tim, who signed off with this:
Others (and you know who you are) were more like Corgi.
This was not appreciated.
That all aside, now that I have a lot of data, let's get into what was said. We must establish the Cystian Orthodoxy on Extraterrestrials.
Of those surveyed so far, the vast majority (20) believe there are probably aliens, 7 believe that there are absolutely aliens, only one believes that there are no aliens, and 5 people are yellow.
Of those surveyed, the vast majority of surveyed Cystians, 18 of them, state that their religion has no official stance on the existence of aliens. But, critically, 3 Cystians state that the existence of aliens, if such a thing came to pass, would violate their religious beliefs. They are narrowly outnumbered by the 4 Cystians who hold something about aliens as integral to their own religious leanings. 0 Cystians have ever felt alienated from a group for not believing in aliens, but one person for whom the existance of aliens is critical seems to have doubts about the traditional notions of extraterrestrials. This seems to indicate that, thankfully, there are no UFO cultists among us yet. Either that, or this particular Cystian has not come out about their heresy, but this seems statistically improbable. I neglected to ask which religious beliefs exactly were violated or upheld by the existence of aliens, but that's just the kind of loose information you can glean from a checkbox quiz like this.
8 Cystians consider this to be a weird topic of conversation, despite answering the entire questionaire like a bunch of clowns.
Multicellular microbes (28) seem to narrowly beat out primitive single-cell life (27) as the most commonly believed-in form of alien. This would seem to indicate the strange notion that some people believed in one without the other. As someone who has read through all the responses individually, it's actually far weirder than that- Some people believe in animal-sized organisms and civilizations without any microscopic life, though most of the time they would also cover this with notions of non-cellular and non-carbon-based life. Not always, if I remember correctly.
Some people picked other contradictory answers in ways that tantalizingly imply some far more complicated and elaborate alien cosmogony than this quiz could convey. And, infuriatingly, I neglected to include any questions that could possibly follow up on this because I was too busy trying to cover the broader bases like an idiot. Multiple times I noticed that people who picked Panspermia also picked the option that stated humans had a separate extraterrestrial origin from other earthly life. I can only hope people clarify what they think was going on back then because clearly I overlooked a relatively large demographic of alien believers. In my experience, people normally only subscribe to one school of thought or the other. People who hold both views are a group I need to know more about.
People were far more readily accepting of the idea that some part of the universe we don't know much about was alive in strange ways, most people, however, rejected the idea that it had anything to do with atoms and energy itself being living. A few of the 14 answerers who picked that existence implied consciousness did have some overlap with the 19 who picked exotic not-understood forms of life, however.
Of the specifically named alien options, Reptilians were by far the most popular, with about 11 subscribers to the idea. Cryptids as aliens came in 2nd place, with 9 respondents. The Grays came in third, with 8. The relatives of the classic gray alien, being the green guys and the tall white guys, don't seem to have been as well-loved. They share 4th place jointly with The Nephilim and Shadow People, with 7 subscribers each.
There seemed to be not very much overlap between people who thought some cryptids were aliens and the people who thought any of the presented cryptids were real. So that would be yet another useful point for thread discussion and further clarification between our participants. Many of the people who did claim to believe in the cryptids also mentioned that they didn't think any of these particular cryptids were aliens.
16 Cystians attribute UFO sightings to alien activity- This is by far and away the phenomena most blamed on aliens by anyone in this sample size ever. The bermuda triangle and crop circles are tied for second and they don't even begin to compete, at 7 respondents each. Soma from Indo-Iranian mythology got a surprising amount of responses (well more than double the amount of statistical noise from the other choices) and I'm honestly interested in why people picked that one too. The majority of Cystians, however, in their custom responses, do blame none of these things on aliens- I would say the number there is about 19.
Of the 33 respondents at time of writing, only 4 claim to have seen an alien. One of them saw an extraordinarily sick burn, though.
Let me tell you, it was really interesting seeing this pie chart start out really paranoid and then slowly watching 'No' barely edge out 'Yes', while the rest became suspiciously flooded with amnesty and indecision.
It's really hard to summarize this question because the answers were all over the map here. The closest thing to a consensus seems to suggest apocalyptic war, genocide, and/or colonization upon contact with a suitably advanced alien race. However, there really were all kinds of answers, with some people suggesting deadly plagues and invasive species, and one guy even suggesting that aliens could just be way too ugly to even look at.
Similar here. People are a lot more reticent to assume anything about the specifics of the aliens' agenda, if they believe the aliens would have one at all. There's more of a split between conquerors, curious observers, and non-sentience here.
I find this government one particularly interesting because it's been so evenly split and has some of the most strong opinions on both sides of it.
This might be the most agreed-with of the pie chart questions. I wonder what the reasoning is of people who disagree?
This is the second most agreed-with of the pie chart questions if I'm reckoning right. No strong disagreements either.
QUESTION 20: THE NIGHTMARE
I'll save you a lot of reading. Only about 3 of the specialised "Other" answers amount to "No". Almost everything else is a "Yes, IF..."
I think Nightwatch summed it up best with this meme he made: