Forums » The Lounge » Read Thread

The Weekly Review – Edition 51


FEATURING:

What's New Section giving the latest info on the Forums

Disdain for the gays: lesbianism causes heart attacks

The Featured Picture of the edition

Finally, a special interview with Sherbet (aka Sherb)


WHAT'S NEW:

In Newbie Central someone probably joined recently-ish!

In the Lounge unprecedented activity for the last few years!

In News and Updates there is neither news nor updates but instead a contest that will produce nothing!

In the Parlour Room all is quiet as usual!

In the Creative Corner stuff was moved and there's something happening!

In the Writing Workshop people posted some stuff this year!

In the Reading Corner people posted some stuff last year!

In the Advanced Editor’s Forum the usual scripting noob questions!

In the Feature Well someone threw in a rock instead of a coin!

In the Bugs and Problems section people probably complained about the Server Error in \ Application as per tradition!

==================================================

Disdain for the gays: lesbianism causes heart attacks!

In the dark early morning of a few days ago, Ravenic, in her now infamous anti-homo thread, declared her sexuality in bold fashion:



The unprompted declaration of lesbianism caught even herself off-guard; prompting omnidirectional vitrol and at least one subsequent heart attack. Much to the relief of many, Ravenic has not recovered since. TWR has looked for expert analysis on the event:

Q: How could this have happened, [redacted]?

A: "As a foremost expert on lesbians and gays I can conclude with absolute certainty that ravenic is a closeted homo."

Q: Could this have been on accident?

A: "It's unlikely, but her sexual incompetence is infamous. I must be going now, thanks, love you, bye."

After reading that, what do you think? Is ravenic going to lean into her lesbianism? Will tcat kill her?

==================================================

Featured picture of the edition: Soundstorm's PMs from 2016

A recent dig into the past has revealed an unsavory gore nest as we all suspected. Some were there, able to remember the times and convulse in discomfort as the private information of such ancient degenerates was revealed.



A reminder to us all the horrors of the past should not be repeated. Please consider this before using such asterisks and inline emojis.

====================================================

Special Member Interview: Sherbet (aka Sherb)

Q1: How did you first find this site and what made you want to join?

A1: I'm actually pregnant, so as an expecting mother I would appreciate easier questions.

Q2: Why do you write Choose your Own Stories?

A2: I'm not sure who the father is but I couldn't care less. My child is mine and I will be the best god damn mother on this fucking planet. You're making me cry just thinking about it I hope you're ready to compensate me for this.

Q3: Who are your favorite authors and what are your favorite stories on this site?

A3: I was craving fish sticks in chocolate cake so I made a cake and put fish sticks inside it but it reminded me of being pregnant like the chocolate cake was impregnated with fish sticks and it only got worse when I drizzled ketchup on it. It's like I ate a version of myself, quadruple-self-vore-like y'know? It just felt really weird and awkward and my baby vored a version of themselves that day. But god damn it tasted so fucking good.

Q4: Your interests are very wide-ranging, do you think playing computer games can provide good inspiration for story writing?

A4: I invited Sabley to belly bounce with me and she said no. What a bitch.

Q5: Any advice for other writers?

A5: Once I found out I was pregnant, like the day after, I flushed all the condoms from the box down the toilet. It clogged a little but it's not my place so who cares. I might flush my dental dams...is there any reason for me to keep them around?

Q6: How about some final thoughts?

A6: The father could be anybody really. I don't care. I really don't. I'm planning to get coochie surgery after I give birth. If you ask me if I care I will say "no" because I truly don't care who the father is.


==================================

That's all folks!

Never, in nearly three decades of life, have I sympathized with the totalitarian urge to suppress the media. Until six minutes ago, when I began to read this. 

Good job. 

Gay

This installment of The Weekly Review is going to get thrown off a rooftop somewhere

And people try to say we don't celebrate diversity here. Good to know there will always be at least one person willing to manufacture all the news necessary to counter that.

From the ashes

Chocolate ketchup fish stick cake is somehow only the 7th worst thing in this review

fish stick cake, yum yum, might make it even better if you added salad cream. 

• 1 cup of durian pulp (for its strong, pungent smell)
• 1 cup of pickled herring (finely chopped)
• 2 cups of mayonnaise
• 3 cups of expired milk (sour and curdled)
• 1 cup of black licorice (chopped)
• 1 cup of anchovy paste
• 2 cups of sauerkraut (drained)
• 1 cup of blue cheese (crumbled)
• 1 cup of fish sauce
• 4 raw eggs (unbeaten)
• 2 cups of wheat bran (for a gritty texture)
• 1 cup of ground coffee beans (unbrewed)
• 1 cup of hot sauce
• 2 tablespoons of baking soda
• 1 tablespoon of salt
• 1 tablespoon of vinegar
• 1 cup of horseradish 

recipe for your next cake, Sherbet 

I think that's like the light, healthy substitute for spunglemundy.

I must be super innocent, as I didn't know what that was so I googled it, and all I got was a no results page. That's how I know it's good stuff. 

The Kentucky version is usually served atop butter atop peanut butter atop ramen atop waffles, but I think there are subtle but imported nuances in the Wisconsonite version, so I fear I'd anger Sentinel if I tried to explain it myself.

@ISentinelPenguinI

Care to share your recipe?

I would not want to record easily repeatable behavior on this forum knowing that there's like twelvies (and mental twelvies like raven) milling about getting their finger smudges on things and sponging up every weird crusty thought they come across in their pure, untouched brains. It just seems like dangerous behavior from a legal liability standpoint to publish the ingredients and process of making Sp*nglemundy here, in public, where they could get ahold of it. I know that it's not exactly made with household ingredients, and it's very unlikely that your average sheltered suburban child will be able to get ahold of a hotdog machine and 3 gallons of mid-hatched frogspawn, but there are common substitutes for some of these ingredients, and, much like fishstick cake, Sp*nglemundy is not something that any human should consume. Or make. Or look at with naked eyes. It's a very particular substance used for very particular purposes and none of them are really good. You need to be a licensed professional to handle it. The packaged stuff comes with one of those red yellow and blue hazard warnings for a reason, people!

Sounds delectable. I remember when I was like 10 in the old days of YouTube, one of the first YouTube videos I ever watched was where idubbz got together with filthy Frank and they made a cake of nails, hair, pubes, and their own puke and ate it, and that video stayed up on YouTube for years before it was taken down, a classic. 

Beautiful, thank you for sharing. I have to, come of the mind that Ravenic is a closested lesbian. 

Sincerely glad this edition tackled the asterisks and emoticon problem though, a lot of the recent posting has been giving me flashbacks to 2015 in more ways than one.

To be clear: this was one of the problems we as a community committed genocide to fix, and if we have to we'll do it again.

I found this engaging and informative. It is refreshing to find an outlet that will put out the actual news instead of fake news and propaganda.

This fucking website is disgusting. You cannot go around posting people's dm's! 

A-Aieeeeeee!?

What did my mods mean by this!? 

holy fucking yikes lmao

My brain initially tried to protect itself by interpreting that RP as a french kiss for as long as it could.

Blegh. They had each other's phone numbers and Skype, WHY use the site for this.

....this really adds a new angle to that old theory that Seto was another of Kiel's alts, hoky fuck.

It's all those damn Chinese cartoons.

Turns people into gooners, I tell ya!

Well fine if we're doing this.

I'm sorry you had to see this.

In my country there lived a poet called Filip Višnjić.

In this moment I envy him a lot, because not only was he blind, but he is also dead, and so did not have to see this fucking atrocity like I did.

This is coming from cum tissues mountain man, by the way.

Honestly? FUCK Keil.  Seto was a nice person who actually gave me constructive advice and support. And to see this shit.... It's clear that Seto wasn't interested at this point, and also, a fucking kid.

All of the sentiments still stand, but just clarifying that Seto was technically an adult or that wouldn't have been posted obviously. Of course when you're dealing with obsessive behavior between a person in their mid twenties and an 18 year old (and they did allegedly know each other before coming to the site) it's obviously a predatory thing with some grooming going on.

The site for Kiel was just a way to hoover up praise and then sweep teenage twinks off to Skype and other private forums he set up, so anything here is just the tip of the iceberg really to the actual vile pedo shit.

Fun bit of trivia, after he was driven from CYS in 2016, he went on to the app Amino which according to people who collect Uncomfortable Knowledge is pretty much just openly known as an app for children and the pedos who want to groom them.



Ford found out while trying to doxx him years later that he also had multiple Minecraft accounts under different identities, can't imagine why.

But the situation with Kiel went so deep we'll probably never be able to uncover it all. "He" was an entirely created persona on every level so there's so much weirdness and deception going on on every layer that gets peeled back, and honestly it's so sticky and nasty down there nobody really wants to go any further.

It's actually Sentinel's theory for several reasons that Soundstorm, who a allegedly an IRL friend and only existed to show up and white knight him here and on BHB when he was facing criticism was the "real life" Kiel. Some of their circle of sycophants were definitely just sock puppets too anyhow, anyone with a twinky anime avatar from that period might be suspect really; there was also a user who was his "sister" who we know now was definitely him, with basically also Soundstorm's exact personality, and he would talk with her on the forum and go as far as to have PM exchanges to develop this persona.

So there's very little that's off the table as far as what he got up to when the crazy goes that deep. (The bright side of course is that, statistically, there's a good chance he's killed himself by now.)

People love to bitch about us being homophobic smh, forgetting that CYS was progressive enough we had a tranny mod before it was cool. And hoo boy, never doing that again.

Thank you for the clarification. And yeah, people like him are why my BM and I watch my daughter's roblox account. 

And yeah. We let plenty of gay people on this site. There's enough featured and commended games on here that feature gays, its honestly fucking stupid that people just read through a couple forums and start screaming BIGOT!

Your BM?

Baby's mom. The mother of my child

ew, thats actually so gross. Im 21, and i literally refuse to speak to people under 18 on the internet, i mean ill speak to them, but i make sure to keep it businesslike and brief, not worth the trouble. 

Wow you're the oldest one on the website

lol, among the newcomers maybe! with the older members i always just kind of assume y'all are all 30+ 

i actually joined this site when i was 14, i was just a bit shy to say hello back then. Which, was probably the correct decision in retrospect, im surprised i still remembered my login details.

I'm six. (And a half.)

36* lol 

time goes pretty fast, ill be in my 30s, then my 60s in the blink of an eye. The last 20 years of my life feel very transient, maybe not in the moment but certainly in retrospect, and it will only be the same experience when im older. I just hope i continue to look after myself well into old age. 

 

To my point,

Mizal is obviously an elf, so in human years she might possibly be "36" but in elf years - that is probably around 6 (and a half).

We’ve celebrated more than 6 birthdays, silly.

Ew, a baby.

Per tradition on my editions of TWR: https://starwarsintrocreator.kassellabs.io/#!/EO2C2Pm1Rcm78p9X_6rl

It didn't make it better, but reading that with the star wars intro music was quite funny.

Jesus fucking Christ, this thread needs to be purged.

I miss when it was wholesome discussion of fish sticks with chocolate cake.

Wholesome you say....? :D

I feel it's only fair to point out that the thread was manageable levels of cringe until your daughter went and jumped it exponentially to straight up sanity destroying.

On the bright side, this may scare Ravenic away from the forum and into actually reading or actually writing something again.

Nah, this is all Ford's fault. (As usual)

There are a lot of comms floating around despite this being the worst thread maybe ever

Hear ye, hear ye. Sherb has declared a challenge to all loreseekers to find a gaggle of worse threads to make this one seem better!

Wow!

Man-made horrors well within my comprehension, dredging up feelings of cringe long passed!

I shouldn't have backread!

Glad you made it, for old times sake. You're welcome.

Howdy.

I thought the other thread was the one that was supposed to rot our brains.
But this.... some things just can't be unseen 

More like soul destroying.

@Ravenic_Virtue

HUH!? WHAT!? IM AWAKE!!! :O

She wants your thoughts on the thread silly!

(You already gave your reaction though...which is something...)

Thanks Ford for proving that imitation truly is the sincerest form of flattery :D I particularly liked the What's New section though there's a lot of funny stuff here :)

How is your wholesomeness shield so strong?

I just ignore or don't read a lot of stuff in the threads and as it's the internet I don't take it seriously anyway. Got my writing to focus on :D

What is this "writing" thing of which you speak?

That keyboard tappy thing that we sometimes do to make our combined 50+ cys stories :D

If a storygame is published in the woods and there's no one around to read it, did this "writing" thing even provably happen?

It happened, it's just a secret :D

Secret writing is fun, especially when you publish it and surprise everyone with how much you've actually written.

I agree :D

Ironically the greatest and most important truths can only be  known through and be known to oneself, ie consciousness, the immediate taste of coffee or the sensation of a table. There's really no way to prove that others sensations are the same as yours. This is the difference between discursive knowledge and intuitive knowledge. Where intuitive knowledge is more "bedrock" Knowledge, and likewise the one hardest to actually prove to others, but is ironically and paradoxically the ones most real and undeniable to the self. 

Mizal - This and I will add the contribution "yeah" :D

I was here for this thread. I'm solidifying my place in CYS history.

*Is laughing so hard it hurts* BAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAA!!!!! XD XD XD XD

I MADE...HAHA....THE NEWS!!! PFFFFFT HA!!!! XD XD XD 

Oh no! 

Ford actually broke her. Hopefully after her maniacal bout with laughing she will regain some sense of connection to reality.

Nah. That connection was lost when Ford changed my post's text. Now I'm partially broken. Like a jewelry box that's song sounds sketchy. :P

In light of these accusations, Ravenic, you have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law.

You've descended to Alien's level now. It's over.

I'm down but not out. >:)

And being at Alien's level is, one, fine by me because it means we are equals and, two, it's quite soothing to the soul. :)

Thanks for this thread, really I mean it.

I will now walk into the ocean to drown myself while wishing it was bleach, have a good day.

I appreciate you taking my advice seriously

Update on the news: Turns out Sherb is not pregnant, he's just a cautionary tale on why your grandparents would always warn you not to swallow the seeds whole when devouring an entire watermelon.

(He might want to see a doctor over that craving for chocolate fish sticks though.)