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Had to make this throwaway, can't seem to log in. So, I didn't tell anyone, but a few years back I had a bit of a psychotic breakdown making my last story. I got worried that people on this site might go through something similar, so I wrote the story so they wouldn't have to. And I did help some people and I'm glad of that. I'm sure everyone can tell the whole manic-psychosis thing came back a little over the last month, the whole issue was really a bit of a blur and I couldn't realy percieve the passage of time too well. It's why I kept leaving and coming back, leaving and coming back, ha ha.

I'd kind of like my stories and account back at the moment, and we can all hopefully have a good laugh about this in a year's time.

Hi Flutter,
I'm glad you seem to be feeling better, but I feel like you should take some accountability for the things you said. You called a site admin a "satanist" and were acting incredibly odd towards the site, by referring to the people as immoral. Also, in that last thread, you displayed this ego and superiority that I and many people haven't seen from you before that was really rude, because previously you were very chill and just passionate about your beliefs. But in that thread, you were being rude.

I think the mods can definitely help you, but it's honestly up to them whether they are willing to because of the way you conducted yourself. I'm not placing the blame at your feet, you're fundamentally a really decent and kind person, but it's just a bit of whiplash considering how quickly these events happen. The mods have been patient and accommodating, so it's up to them.

All I want to say is, I hope you're having a good support network IRL, and I hope you're able to find the same joy and passion in storytelling and story craft that you've had, as you're definetly a very great writer and at one point, a pillar to the site, so you could still get back to that as long as you acknowledge what happened without sweeping it under the rug and not taking accountability.

I'm genuinely glad you're doing better though, and I just want to say, stay strong and continue to write. You've got really good ideas.

Fair enough.

That being said, I'm really sorry you had to go through that though, regardless. I can't imagine what that must have been like and it's not all your fault because I can only imagine how tough it is, so the fact that you're able to get through it says something about your mental strength and fortitude. Just keep at it, it's a journey, and I'm really glad you posted again and seem to be getting back to normal.

It was actually kind of awesome, like I had the most vivid, intense dreams I've ever had in my life (this is why my perfeption of time was so messed up because I couldn't distinguish dreams from reality). literally it felt like the inside of my skull was on fire 24/7. I just regret any harm I may have caused anyone. This has all been rather too much for me (let alone anyone else), so nothing like this will ever happen again.

That definetly sounds like mania. The descriptions in particular sound quite frightening. I hope you were able to get some help for it, it sounds like you have as you seem to be doing better. It's really good to have you back again. I would definetly advise caution and to take it slow on the forums, so that you're in control, but it's good that you're doing better.

I will say though, I did go throigh a LOT to make this story. Like, the psychotic break that I had just now was NOTHING compared to the last one. It happened so long ago, I didn't think it would be back. And it wasn't nearly as bad this time.

I understand if the moderators don't want to restore my account (honestly like you said, that's completely understandable and I won't hold it against them), but even then, the fact that I was able to genuienly help people means that I'm glad I posted this story.

Your last story as in which one? I think your last story (as in the last one you published) was maybe a couple of months ago, if that? I can get your account back but your games have been transferred to Deletedgames (I actually asked that the funny one be republished for historical purposes) and I don't think there's a way for games to be transferred between accounts. If there's some way I can help you copy and paste the pages over manually, I will look into it.

I would just rather they were on this account, if possible. I'm just glad my skull is no longer on fire actually.

I'm pretty sure that will have to be done manually. But I will try to tell if there's a way to transfer the games.

Thanks, much appreciated after all of that.

What the past month has looked like from my perspective:

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Po7q0OJS9RQ

It absolutely is a trip to be in the middle of a religious psychotic-manic breakdown, then literally see one of the site members has started writing a story with eerie similarities to Satanic Literature which honestly has triggered quite severe nightmares. Again, my head is cool, absolutely, 100% for real this time. The mods I have contacted can vouch for that. But seriously, as someone who's never done drugs, I can say that experience was probably far worse than most drug trips.

Glad to know you made it through. It will be an interesting story to tell your grandkids one day. From where I stand the whole Satan think is funny, because it's just one of those figures that catholics have made up. But independently of if any of this is real, if don't do a good thing because some people who suck have done the same, then you probably won't be doing much at all.

So I should probably save most of this for a later date, but I'll reply a little here since you were the first one to ask. Basically, I think Satanism is a form of anti-human "failsafe programming" built into humanity by consciousness-directed evolution. Because there is actually Satanic literature and poetry out there and the whole point of it seems to be to erode humanity's will, which is interesting because it doesn't work on animals (you try reading poetry to a dog and see how far it gets you!).

There would be little point to such a system in the current, "selfish gene" view of evolution, which is why my own, homebrewed version of evolution is, in my opinion, the only system that works. I'll tell you, it is an incredibly strange experience to have your own, completely unique, hollistic worldview on religion, science, history, psychology and mythology which is all tied together by My Little Pony lore. It is one of the reasons why I now do get very upset when people try to seriously insult the series (I don't mind good natured jokes of course), because I do genuinely hold it sacred for these reasons.

As everyone probably knows by now, this has unfortunately given quite a massive superiority-complex and ego, which I didn't fully realise until the...events...of the past few weeks. It's something I will hopefully be able to work on and improve, because I don't think it's healthy to think like this and I do feel bad about it.

 

EDIT: It's funny how the things I write when I'm not psychotic and manic are somehow weirder than when I am...

I can respect that.

While you may not be completely psychotic anymore, glad to know you're still retarded!

TBH I much prefer it when everyone thinks I'm retarded, so glad to see things are returning to normal at last!

So if you're the sole individual who defines what things like "Christianity", "Evolution", "Satanic Literature" and "Satanism" etc are when you apply these labels to whatever you feel like at the moment, guess that means anyone else is free to call you a pink ponyboy clopper by their own personal definitions as well and there's no valid way to whine about it. It's so liberating that words no longer mean anything.

But anyway, how do you feel about the inherent evil of goat imagery? We're all still waiting on that one.

Well, all I can say is that I'd prefer people didn't and I try my best not to do it in a mean-spirited way. If me talking about those concepts genuinely upsets people to the same extent that the "clopper" term did to me just then, then I'll stop doing it. I really, really don't believe that me talking about these concepts does, though. 

I just assume that people are generally aware of the connection between demonic imagery and goats, like Baphomet, Pan etc. I've tried to make as little assumptions in the story as I possibly could, but that's one of them. Also, Grogar and Discord from MLP are very interesting in that they have very specific goat imagery too.

I mean its actually not that interesting that your cartoons are doing this. It's common medieval imagery, but the point of the question was how does that make it actually evil in the primordial sense.

I think only Sent has the patience to debate with you on actual history anymore though, it's really just as well you admitted you base all your conclusions on the holy word of the great god Hasbro.

Oh! But actually, I do have to ask for one thing. (And I'm saying it as an admin willing to cheerfully abuse my powers so it's not really a request! Funny how that works.) I want you to explain to the satisfaction of @Gower what it is that made you dismiss the works of Homer and decide they have no interest or value.

1. The fact that the goat-demon connection is already understood as common medieval imagery is, I think, good enough for the purposes of the discussion.

2. So, I don't think I ever said that the works of Homer have no interest or value and I have absolutely zero idea where that came from. I actually do believe they are dangerous though when read on a large scale, this is a sentiment shared by Plato who thought that the Illiad ought to be censored. I mean individuals can read them and there's nothing wrong with that, but most of my Ancient Greek conclusions actually come from my understanding of Euripides and Fredrich Neiszche, as well as Tolkien and other 20th century authors. I think this is well rounded enough to give some credibility. Neiszche, I believe, was driven insane in large part by his obsession with Greek Mythology which is one of the things that inspired me to write this story.

I see.

Also, you just reminded me. @ISentinelPenguin , really sorry that I didn't get around to answering your points. That was the time the whole mania thing was really starting to kick in, I was actually trying to bring it down by completely changing the subject and...well, we saw how that turned out...

Have you ever felt like there might be an indicator of mental unwellness in anything you've been obsessed with yourself? Any particular more modern set of stories or media for instance?

This point is kind of the crux of my whole story, that the themes of Greek Mythology are indeed anti-human and are designed to basically kill off humanity, whereas modern stories like MLP and LOTR have groundings in Christian and Norse Themes, which are actually pro-human and therefore are much more healthy ways of creating a framework of seeing the world. 

My Little Pony doesn't shy away from Greek mythological themes at all; I think of Tartarus, for example, hydras, minotaurs, and of course, if we are willing to accept Equestria Girls as MLP canon, sirens. 

Yes, I'm fully aware of this. But the issue that you're not spotting here is that, while MLP obviously has Greek Aesthetics and imagery, the themes here are actually more in line with Christian/Norse stories. You will notice, for instance, that Applejack is not punished by the gods for her defeat of the Chimera, whereas mortals who fight monsters in Greek Mythology wind up with sticky ends or by being punished by the gods. 

And no, I am not willing to accept Equestria Girls as canon.

 

This idea was inspired by a line from Tolkien's essay where he quotes someone else who says:

"Polyphemus, by devouring his guests, acts in a way which is hateful to Zeus and the other gods: yet the Cyclops is himself god-begotten and under divine protection, and the fact that Odysseus has maimed him is a wrong which Poseidon is slow to forgive. But the gigantic foes whom Beowulf has to meet are identified with the foes of God. Grendel and the dragon are constantly referred to in language which is meant to recall the powers of darkness with which Christian men felt themselves to be encompassed. They14 are the 'inmates of Hell', 'adversaries of God', 'offspring of Cain', 'enemies of mankind'. Consequently, the matter of the main story of Beowulf, monstrous as it is, is not so far removed from common mediaeval experience as it seems to us to be from our own. ... Grendel hardly differs15 from the fiends of the pit who were always in ambush to waylay a righteous man. And so Beowulf, for all that he moves in the world of the primitive Heroic Age of the Germans, nevertheless is almost a Christian knight."

 

He goes into it further in the essay, like with that quote about Loki I just showed Gower. I work under the assumption that Tolkien probably knows more about what he's talking about and quoting than any of us do.

The fact that Tolkien could identify themes is not the same as his disliking the works or implying they have lessened value, I think that's the fundamental thing you're missing here.

Here's another one

 

"'The Northern Gods', Ker said, 'have an exultant extravagance in their warfare which makes them more like Titans than Olympians; only they are on the right side, though it is not the side that wins. The winning side is Chaos and Unreason'—mythologically, the monsters—'but the gods, who are defeated, think that defeat no refutation.' 18 And in their war men are their chosen allies, able when heroic to share in this 'absolute resistance, perfect because without hope'. At least in this vision of the final defeat of the humane (and of the divine made in its image), and in the essential hostility of the gods and heroes on the one hand and the monsters on the other, we may suppose that pagan English and Norse imagination agreed."

He's taking about the Norse ones here.

But also feverishly quote mining which he said he didn't want to do. I hope at least some of this not seeing a doctor time is being spent copying story pages.

There's a subtle difference between "I am using this quote to represent my thoughts" (which I was doing), and "I am using this quote to represent Tolkien's thoughts", which was what Gower and I were doing. The latter is something I don't think is productive, the former I think is.

 

Honestly, I find it very hard to interact with people because I think my mind just functions completely differently from everyone else and, as you all are probably aware by now, this may not always be such a good thing.

Why wouldn't a sentence Tolkien wrote with the explicit purpose of expressing his thoughts be considered a good representation of his thoughts?

(You don't actually have to answer that, you should probably spend less time in this thread, really.)

I'm spending a lot of time right now because I feel really bad about what I just put everyone through and I want to assure everyone that I am indeed functioning normally.

All I will say to that is that Tolkien's thoughts on ancient Greek literature are no mystery:  ("Certainly I have not been nourished by English Literature, in which I do not suppose I am better read than you; for the simple reason that I have never found much there in which to rest my heart (or heart and head together). I was brought up in the Classics, and first discovered the sensation of literary pleasure in Homer.") 

But if your objection to Homer is that his depiction of the classical gods may inspire humans to act poorly, then yes, you're in good company with Plato in The Republic.  ("God is always to be represented as he truly is, whatever be the sort of poetry, epic, lyric or tragic, in which the representation is given.") Plato thought Homer degraded people's perception of the divine and the heroic by making them so terribly flawed and immoral. But I suppose people have been having that particular conversation about fiction in general for a long time.

I counter your quote with "I use this illustration following Chambers, because of the close resemblance between Grendel and the Cyclops in kind. But other examples could be adduced: Cacus, for instance, the offspring of Vulcan. One might ponder the contrast between the legends of the torture of Prometheus and of Loki: the one for assisting men, the other for assisting the powers of darkness." From "Beowulf: The Monsters and the Critics"

 

I don't really believe in these sort of quote-mining battles though where we just throw quotes from his works that support our own views.

 

Also, I think much of fiction (if not all) can actually be traced back to all these myths, and whether it's "good" or "ill" really does depend on the myth it's taken from. 

Do you think a story can only be toxic and bad if it depicts negative things happening? Commentary on those things can't be any kind of intent by the creators?

You also said previously you hadn't read Homer of course. And the broad handwaves of entire cultures to make them neatly fit your points before declaring that your supporting arguments had zero effect on your conclusions anyway where where things went sour in the original thread.

Of course stories can be good and portray negative things. But the anti-human nature of the gods in Greek Mythology, as compared to the pro-human nature of the gods in Norse and Christianity, is something that I think is extremely important. Whether you consider these "bad" or "good" is different from "pro-human themes" and "anti-human themes". So the Inuit "Small Ringed Seal" story actually portrays humans successfully thwarting a monster, so I would consider this "pro-human".

Also, how do you feel about Necromancer and Death Song?

I haven't read them, sadly, I do play some very few Dark Fantasy games (The Witcher series mainly), and I am going to try "Slay the Princess", but I usually am very careful about what media I expose myself to. No judgement on anyone's preferences here, it's just my own feelings.

Anyway, my actual point with the original comment on obsessing on media, is that I really find your idea of someone GOING insane from reading too much Greek mythology or whatever to be a dubious one. Obsession itself is a symptom of other things no matter what it has you latching onto.

Nobody really thinks Hasbro is at fault in your case either, most people watch a show or read a book or think about things without it doing this to them. But aside from the brain chemicals it seems likely you've got a lifestyle that may be feeding into the issues too and maybe worsening them. (You've made a few sad posts and sent a lot of sad messages about not having people care about you IRL, makes me and others who have brought it up think you must be holed up in your room somewhere isolating yourself to an unhealthy degree and probably not being too physically active.)

I think some obsessions are considerably more healthy than others. And frankly the reason I think I can have so many thoughts is because I don't read stuff that densensitizes me to it. Like, I actually think the reason I didn't go permanently insane after finding out about all this philosophy stuff is precisely because I was looking at it through a lens of MLP and these sort of silly, whimsical things, rather than directly considering the ideas. This is why I think Jesus says "Unless you have a mind of a child you will not enter heaven". So if anything, MLP has been a total Godsend in that regard. I know it seems silly, but I do get extremely upset when people try to screw around with it, but it's a weird thing to say so I don't blame anyone at all for not understanding this.

This has to be ragebait, right? I don't think I've ever seen someone misconstrue the Bible this badly. But anyway, since I had to double-check a few verses to make sure my understanding wasn't correct, I'll post a reply.

Mark 10:15-16
'"Truly I tell you, anyone who will not receive the kingdom of God like a little child will never enter it.” And he took the children in his arms, placed his hands on them and blessed them.'

This verse refers to childlike faith, where one has to 'receive the kingdom of God like a child'. Children tend to be less sceptical and doubtful than adults, hence if we are to have faith, it should be like that of a child. Nowhere does it refer to viewing things from a silly, whimsical lens like a piece of modern media that you believe, for whatever reason, to be the authoritative source of all wisdom.  

Matthew 18:2-5
'He called a little child to him, and placed the child among them. And he said: “Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Therefore, whoever takes the lowly position of this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven.'

In this quote, the reference to children is regarding humility. Children understand that they don't know everything and are always ready to learn from those around them. It also draws from the societal norms of that time period, where children were seen as more 'lowly' than those around them, and parallels the notion of 'those who are last shall be first'. 

Corinthians 13:11-12
'When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me. For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.'

Lastly, this verse reflects how our understanding of God should mature as we grow. It doesn't urge everyone to have the 'mind of a child', but rather, states the opposite. We are meant to outgrow our childish thoughts and words.


Since I'm already here, I might as well respond to your other arguments. Obsessions, in and of themselves, are unhealthy. Even if being addicted to alcohol is 'considerably more healthy' than being addicted to drugs (might not be a good example as my knowledge of both are limited), you would still tell anyone who's addicted to either to quit. 

And purposely not reading certain texts does not create 'better thoughts', they just form an echo-chamber where your media of choice repeats the same ideas over and over again. Research the term 'confirmation bias'. This is exactly why, for instance, books shouldn't be banned; that just removes all free will and stunts society as a whole, as instead of allowing them to critically analyse the flaws and merits of arguments, ideas and viewpoints, everyone is just forced to accept one person's perspective of what they consider the truth.

This is even more unhealthy when paired with the belief that your ideas are inherently more correct than anyone else's. Self-isolation is another unhealthy coping mechanism that fuels obsessions. Have you spoken to people irl about your ideas? That might be a healthier way to avoid the confirmation bias trap than re-reading the same books and re-watching the same shows on a loop.

Since you have mentioned agreeing to see a doctor, that's a good start. I recently booked a meeting with my GP for burnout and constant tiredness (my university claims the NHS takes mental health very seriously); it took me less than 5 minutes to fill out an online form and now I have an appointment booked for next week. Definitely recommend that you do the same as it's free and takes less time than replying to posts on this thread.

Also, I really want to say "as he were of faierie" to you. Something tells me you will appreciate this quote :)

Hey, I never said "thanks" for being the first person to read my story. I was feeling incredibly overwhelmed and I was a bit short on you, but it genuienly was good of you to do that.

Drug trips are fun

Wait, hold up, let me get this straight... You think only one of the admins is a Satanist? Oh, you sweet Summer child! The entire site is a Satanic cult dedicated to the worship of EndMaster, our holy necromancer overlord. Have you not noticed all the noobs we have been sacrificing to him?

"It all makes sense now. All them years. All them Goddamn years!" 

-Arthur Morgan, Red Dead Redemption II

Haven't really had a chance to read this thread yet, did flutter see a doctor at any point or is he just self diagnosing as "not crazy" again the way he has been through every other rapid personality change these last three months?

tbf, he never said he wasn't crazy, just that he THINKS he is not as crazy... and then in the span of 12 hours has said that he will never post another story here and asked for his stories here to be restored

I'm hoping that I can assure people I'm not crazy by answering as many people in this thread as possible. If you notice, when the manic-psychotic thing started, I was constantly trying to disengage because I knew something was off about the whole thing. Now, I'm doing the opposite, I'm engaging with everyone, in good spirits and good humour. Again if this is distressing or upsetting to anyone, just let me know and I'll stop doing it.

I haven't seen a doctor, and I know how this sounds, but I am absolutely fine now. The other times I was genuinely trying to disengage because I knew on some level something was wrong, but I am fully capable of engaging with everything. My dreams have stopped, my brain feels like it's cooled down. If people don't want me here or I make them uncomfortable, again, I'm fine with leaving for a while, but I promise you, earnestly, this time I am actually fine and sane.

And has it actually been three months?

Well if you're saying that you're fine, I guess this time it must be true, and can never happen again. What a relief, I really was worried it was going to be like all the other times you said you were fine.

I mean, I don't really know how else I can assure people other than by doing this. I am no longer concerned everyone on this site is going to become demonically corrupted, as I was over the past manic episode-situation, so there's that.

Something that can definitely assure people on this site is by going to a doctor. You may be fine now, but there is the potential that this problem can happen again just by the fact that it has already happened multiple times. I'm not making this statement as judgment against you. I'm saying that going to a doctor is a very good idea for accountability and preventing anything like this happening again or at least having measures in place to mitigate risk.

So, I basically experienced that whole situation as one, single, continuous narrative. So I wouldn't say it has happened multiple times, I would say it only happened once.

Now that the narrative has indeed been broken, I am as honestly sure as I can be that this won't happen again. 

Bipolar mania doesn't just go away, you retard.

Also, another thing, I am honestly not used to people caring about my wellbeing at all, and that was one of the reasons I freaked out so much. I genuinely had serious difficulties even wrapping my mind around the concept.

As someone who suffers from bipolar mania myself, I can assure you: it is going to happen again if you do not go see a doctor.

Mania waxes and wanes. You're feeling fine now cause it's waning, but it's going to come back in full force at a later date. I'm not saying this to attack or judge you: I am saying this to warn you and to beseech you to seek help before it happens again.

Personally, I see a therapist and take medication. But I'm also a gun owner so I kinda HAVE to make sure my mental health is stable.

He already mentioned back in the storygame thread that it did happen at least once awhile before and wasn't happening again, lol. Honestly out of everything he's said across all these threads, THIS is the one that makes him the most wildly unsympathetic. He knows things are not right up there. ("I really, really do appreciate your concern but I haven't had anything like that wrong with me for many years now").

This is the equivalent of "oh I suddenly lost my eyesight and stumbled around in the dark for months, and that's actually happened before, weird. But anyway, for now I can randomly see again so no worries!" Except this is even worse because it affects everyone around him a lot more than just bumping into a wall would do.

Both of these incidents has been triggered by something that I've read, or that I've been writing. As I said, I will never do anything like this ever again, so it won't get triggered.

Please, I really, honestly am genuinely sorry for the distress that I caused everyone.

This is all a good cause to think you're still in the midst of all this, no one thinking rationally would just wave it all off. Genuinely, why are you afraid to see a doctor? Not like you even have to pay for it over there.

Which is good because I assume the various unique things that make you flutter have also rendered you pretty chronically unemployable.

I'm a little busy at the moment but if people really want me to I'll do it when I get the chance over the next few days. Thank you for your concern.

Right right, copy those stories down, that's more important than your health.

Not hovering around this thread making instant responses to every post is probably for the best, anyhow. If you're on the site at all you should be working on saving the games, the zombie state they're being suspended in is a pretty glitchy and untested one.

Yeah definitely save the stories, you put a lot of thought and energy into it and it would be a shame for it to go to waste. Make back up copies on google drive or something so you'll always have your writing to look back to, that way even if something like this were to happen again and you delete your stories, you still have them saved when you want to look at them again.

Please do. Like Ben and a lot of people said, this is a serious issue that you can't fight on your own, so you'll need all the help you can get. And it sounds like you live in a country where it doesn't cost too much for healthcare, so please take care of it! I'm glad you're willing to do so, whenever you have time do it asap. Make a note in your calendar or anything.

Thanks so much for everyone's concern, really, it is a very novel experience.

Also, I am aware I said things which came across as extremely shocking and nasty, and that I really do apologise for that. If it's any consolation, in my head I was trying to do the right thing because I am genuinely worried about the long-term effects of desensitization by the internet on people and that was one of the main factors that basically drove me nuts over the a long period of time, and I was imagining that I was shocking people out of that by being as extreme as possible. It's absurd logic, I know it was, but that's genuinely what I was "thinking" at the time.

Fluttershy is a quiet, shy, submissive pony so it's extra weird when a brony picks her as his favorite.

It's because she reminds me of me, in that she's quiet and gentle most of the time but sometimes she gets really angry and it actually shocks everyone.

My sister has recently been diagnosed with bipolar. Over the past three years she:

 

• Has attempted suicide multiple times
• Been in and out of mental hospital multiple times
• Lost custody of her 11 year old son (he's staying with my other sister and his cousins)
• Became addicted to multiple different drugs
• Gambled away her inheritance from our Dad (about £18,000)
• Begged friends and relatives for loans, telling them she was starving and needed money for food, only to spend the money she was lent on gambling
• Lost her job
• Vandalized a police car
• Been arrested... I'm not actually sure how many times. At least 4 that I know of
• Posted loads of semi nude photos of herself on social media
• Tried to break into my other sister's house, threatening to murder her
• Made threats to murder several other people that she's fallen out with
• Called social services and told them to put her child in foster care with strangers because she was mad at my other sister and wanted to spite her (they didn't)
• Gotten involved with multiple men who are drug dealers because she "likes bad boys"

I'm sure I'm missing loads of important stuff off the list, but this is what I can think of off the top of my head... Anyway, she goes back and forth between suicidal depression and manic highs where she thinks she's on top of the world. Any time she starts to calm down a little and shows some semblance of sanity, we would try to convince her to go to a doctor. Every time, she would say, "Oh, I don't need to see a doctor because I'm better now." ... Three years before she finally saw a doctor and got her diagnosis.

Please, for the love of God, see a doctor.

I'll do it, not because I think I need it but because I really, really don't like seeing people get upset about this.

Yey! ^_^

On a more positive note, I had a couple of pretty serious break downs about 6 and 5 years ago. Doctor prescribed me some stuff to even my mood and help me sleep. Haven't had any issues with my mental health since. ^_^

I'm glad you could find help for that!

If you don't feel up to summarizing the symptoms, maybe you could just send them links to your last six threads.

Sheesh, you'd mentioned some of her issues to me but I didn't realize it was that bad. Really sorry you're dealing with this. But it's always the people around them and especially the family that gets the brunt of it while the person doing it all is feeling just dandy.

I feel the worst for the son though, besides all the trauma he's going to have to grow up knowing he has the genes for that.

Considering everything he's been through, he's actually a really happy little boy. I try to spend at least one day a week doing something fun with him to try and make up a little for the fact that his Mum is crazy and his Dad is useless. We did an escape room today. It was really fun! ^_^ 

Also, my first impression was that your sister should be put down like a rabid animal, but perhaps that's not the moral you intended to this story.

Maybe some of the other people you're related to would be more appropriate anyhow.

Lol. I wouldn't rule it out as an option... It's okay Old Yeller. You can rest now. :p

THIS.

I've done some horrible, stupid things when manic that I regret. Even though I wasn't in control, I still hold myself accountable since I had opportunities to get medical help and didn't cause I "didn't need it." I really did. 
 

Also Avery, you're pretty, funny, talented, upbeat, AND empathetic? If you weren't a dirty, sun-hating tea guzzler, I'd say you were the ideal woman the rest should strive to be like.

England. Ruining everything good since 1533!

>.<

Why, thank you! Yes, I am pretty perfect, aren't I? ^_^

Well nobody's perfect. And I don't know everything about you and your life circumstances. But you seem like a fantastic, well rounded, intelligent woman.

Honest!

Nobody? What about that Jesus guy? The non-My Little Pony one, obviously.

Nobody currently walking the Earth, then.

... No, I'm pretty sure I'm perfect. ^_^

Fluttershy, if I promise not to call you the c-word again, can you explain to me why my games are Satanic? I am legitimately curious. 

Oh, hi Malk.The desire to turn things into excrement and bodily fluids using poetry and stories is a pretty strong, recurring theme of Satanic literature, and I did kind of freak out when I saw you doing the same thing. Also, my suspicion that Greek Mythology is connected to Satanism really didn't help when I saw your Illiad book club. Seriously though, I don't actually mind you doing that now, it was all just a bit overwhelming.

You didn't even bother to read them before declaring them Satanic? 

It may surprise you to know that I wasn't exactly thinking straight. 

Fair enough. You still seem to endorse the position that I am a Satanist, though. I don't think I can be blamed for being curious about the pruported Satanic influence in my games. 

Alright, I've taken it off my profile. It's only fair since you agreed to stop hostilities.

I didn't want you to take it off so much as I wanted to understand, but it's your profile to do with what you will. 

I just don't want there to be permanent hostility, I'm aware I said some extremely hurtful things and I just want that to be water under the bridge. I think all of here could perhaps stand to be a little nicer, certainly (and perhaps mostly) including myself.

Damn, I've loved Greek mythology since I was a kid... Maybe I should become a Satanist too! ^_^

I think it's fine if you read it in conjunction with Christian, or perhaps even Norse stories (CS Lewis actually has a scene where the sisters get involved with Bacchus' party but only because Aslan (Jesus) is there to keep everything in control). 

Surprised you're so pro Norse. I always considered them a lot darker than the Greek Gods... I mean, yeah, the Greek Gods were selfish and greedy and horny AF, but from what I understand, they were only into animal sacrifices. And while a Norse God wouldn't turn down a ram or a cow, I was under the impression that human sacrifices were their favorite.

Well, the colleseum seems to be a sort of massive human sacrifice when it comes to that sort of thing. And I really don't like how the Dionysus rituals seem to revel in causing animals pain, and how Pentheus is treated as a kind of human sacrifice. One thing which I really, really like about the Norse stuff is that it considers all the villains to be stupid (the Jotuns are often referred to as "Api" or "Apes", meaning stupid). While Pan in the Greek Pantheon is a similarly idiotic character but he's seen as harmless and his name means "All".

Well, the Colosseum was Roman, but I guess their Gods were pretty much the same, so fair point.

And it was also built in 72 AD. The people who came up with the by then well established and what we consider more iconic stories of the gods lived a bit before that.

Much of what I've been seeing here is somebody taking a box like "the Greeks" that contained many MANY different people and beliefs and geographic areas and movements that spanned thousands of years, and being like "yeah, let me tell you about the Greeks, I'm pretty much an expert. they all believed X and sacrificed people in the Roman Colosseum, that upsets me".

And just so we're clear, "Satanic Literature" is a term with a definition of your own making?

I'd really, really prefer not to mention what I'm talking about because I do not want to direct people to that sort of thing. If this discussion is heading down that route then I think we should all just call it quits.

Satanic Literature ^_^

I actually do unironically believe that this could act as a gateway towards unhealthy and dangerous lifestyles. Not a very strong gateway, granted, but a gateway nonetheless.

We have indeed noticed you seem to get gripped with this odd sudden fear of random things that places absurdly high importance on them. I'll just chalk it up to the autism-anxiety combo and go with "yes, self-defined". On the assumption that no one else would be able to follow the way you were processing these things anyway.

What's happened here is, I've completely cut myself off from anything made, written or otherwise formed after 2020, and I only focus on things before that. So I basically live in a parallel reality to everyone else, but I think this makes my thoughts more clear because everything after 2020 is rotten.

... So, nothing good has been invented since 2020?

That's probably not true but it's the mantra I live my life by.

ACKSHUALLY, nothing good has been invented since 2004, no wonder Flutter's gone insane if he's corrupted his mind with 16 years of toxic garbage since then, wow.

2004? Ha! Everyone knows the Cambrian Explosion is when things started to take a turn for the worse.

Bitch, Pan's Labyrinth was 2006!

Speaking of Pan's Labyrinth, I heard that it got the longest applause ever (22 minutes), so in my "Sunlight and Shadow" story of MLP, I have the applause for Celestia last 23 minutes, deliberately out of spite for that film.

Next time I watch Pan's Labyrinth, I'm going to clap for 24 minutes! ^_^

Wait, wait... I think I know where this is headed... Is 2020 the year when My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic was canceled?

Correct! We have a winner!

That is some Chris Chan logic, right there! :p

You can't just live in your own little paracosm, flutter. The real world does not stop because you want it to, and this isn't some Pretend game on a playground. This is real life and you've gotta come to terms with the reality of the world around you.

You initially feeling negative about something does not make it a horrible thing.

Actually, now that I'm posting (despite telling myself I wouldn't dive back into this)
I'm glad to hear you're going to go to a doctor. Now please actually do that.
I can understand not wanting to do that and trying to get better on your own, but it'll be okay. It's hard to put yourself in the position where you're forced to admit you need help and are unable to fully help yourself. I'll remind you that we're not made to stand on our own strength, but to allow the people and resources God has put into our lives to help hold us up when we're struggling. Go to the doctor for yourself, not for any other people. Do it because you deserve to feel alright, and you deserve mental wellbeing.
But most importantly, go. That's far, far more important than the reasoning behind it.

Why do you think these simple things send you into such spirals when they don't have that effect on anyone else? Do you genuinely believed you're more enlightened than every other person?
I'm sure MLP is just fine. It may surprise you to know that my parents didn't let me watch it because the use of magic is "demonic"; goes to show how everyone has different interpretations of everything. One man's "satanic literature" is someone else's basis for their faith, and yet both of y'all claim the same religion.

Greek literature is fascinating. It's definitely not more satanic than Norse, though. The bits you've read may seem more peaceful, but that doesn't mean they line up with biblical truths, at all.

I think the main thing you need to accept here is that you're not smarter than everyone and other people's lives don't revolve around you.

You need to sit down and talk to someone in real life about the emphases you put on things that strike any kind of chord with you. No one should make any piece of literature or tv show or anything of the sort their entire personality or base their whole worldview on it. Those things were written by people, flutter. Just people.

I want to help you. I really really do. But there's no helping someone who's deluded themselves as much as you have. You just dismiss other ideas in favor of what you've already decided, clinging onto your own little world as though it's the last thing keeping you from the dark pit of insanity; the touble with this is, that is the insanity, and you are only feeding into it. 

I'll pray for you, flutter. Don't give up on this. I don't know what kind of road you have ahead of you, but it ain't gonna be easy. You need actual, physical people around you to support you. Please, find yourself help.

Once again you're making very good and well meaning posts, just don't be too disappointed if it doesn't translate into action IRL. Only person who can do that is Flutter himself.

Dude is I think nearly 30 though and this is a hell of a loop to be stuck in. Too old for things to get handwaved as a phase to grow out of, but way too young to be able to spend the rest of your life this way without any adaption to reality, you can't start in with "everything the young do is garbage and I will coast along to my death without interacting with it" for at least another decade, ffs.

I think all the "my own, personalized, homebrew interpretation of X which is the only notion I can handle existing because it just feels right to me and therefore everyone else is wrong, only I am special enough to understand the secrets of reality" have not escaped anybody's attention, it's just one of the textbook symptoms so it's more or less being overridden by the wackier stuff.

Norse stories probably do vibe a bit more with the ethics of people today just because the Germanic cultures that made them got folded in with what became our idea of English, that's how you got "Anglo-Saxon" and why the languages themselves are so similar.

And yeah, not only does MLP contain the Satanic normalization of sorcery and magic, the blue one (male color!) with the RAINBOW supports the gay agenda. It was almost as evil as Pokemon, that show about children summoning demons that kids had to be prevented from watching for their own safety.

Weird, I didn't realize the banning Pokemon thing went beyond my own parents

Oh yes. It hit a lot of parents for a generation and there was a Satanic panic about it.

Not fully sure what started the panic. Could have been the strange Japanese animations. It definitely wasn't the fact that the game normalizes the idea of pitting animals to fight each other for cruel sport lol

>thing is popular
>programming kicks in: popular things inherently suspect
>Concerned Moms tune in to some white guy with perfect teeth, he alone can read the secret anti-Christian messages encoded by "them" to attack the traditional family
>other people also get a secret thrill from proving they're smarter than everyone else, word gets around
>this is now a very popular idea in its own right, but everyone promoting it is using the same buzzwords you were raised on so it's okay. And now that it's been attached by your community to the idea of being a good Christian, actually above any criticism or reproach.


Leading to Tiny Fresh's mom telling her about how the secular/Satanic agenda is creeping into children's media all insiduously right under the nose of the sheeple. And funnily enough, any attempt at arguing only proves her more right.


tl;dr Won't somebody PLEASE think of the children??

I think there were concerns it also lead to gambling (Don't deal with the devil!) or was a form of gambling since you were betting the cards if you won or lost. That's why some schools were cracking down on it too (independent of religion) Any of those type of card games (Pokemon, Yu Gi Oh, Magic the Gathering, etc)

I wasn't allowed to play any of those either, and once my mom literally told me I couldn't go anywhere with someone because she played DnD

But my dad taught me all sorts of casino games

"I don't get this weird thing the kids are all into now. I think I am much smarter than the average person and therefore the problem cannot lie with my understanding."

1.) "Must be because kids are stupid and have no standards."
2.) "Strangers with sinister agendas are trying to INFILTRATE our children's minds!"


I don't even know what that skibidi shit is but every time I see somebody say it I'm confident it's the work of devils.

Perhaps you're not consciously doing this, but I still do think this is a very curious matter.

Do you find pooping to be an inherently evil act?

Well, this has been fun, a good time held by all, but I really think I should stop now, things to do and all that. I just want to leave with the point that reading Satanism, Nietzsche, Jung and Pagan Myhtology, while understanding everything they're saying is one heck of a trip and that the only reliable remedy is My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic.

Locked.

This is a wholesome Christian website.

Yay Boobs!!!

Be respectful guys, those a Christian tatas right there! ^_^

Respectful Boobs!!!

Just a thought guys, we could have Satanism and MLP if we went back a few generations.

The first My Little Pony TV special was titled “Return to Midnight Castle,” and featured the ponies trying to rescue their friends from Tirek, who is basically Satan as a centaur. Tirek sends his monsters, led by Scorpan, a bat-winged, alligator-faced monkey man, to capture and enslave ponies so they can pull his Chariot of Midnight. He also turns the ponies into dragons. This is literally the most metal thing I have ever heard of.

Actually, My Little Pony sounds like most of its episodes were based on Man o’ War album covers. Villains for the series included Arabus the cloud demon, Lavan the lava demon, Tirek the aforementioned centaur demon, and Grogar, who isn’t just a ram demon but a Ram Demon Necromancer. The original My Little Pony cartoon featured a fucking Ram Demon Necromancer. That’s insane.

From an old gizmodo article.

But you have to scroll down a ways to find it, it's right after the entry on the, ahem, diaper-wearing ponies.

oh lordy here we go again