Player Comments on Magus: Betrayal
I know the author will probably never see this given how old a story this one is, but I'm going to review it anyway.
Magnus: Betrayal isn't bad by any means. It's obvious from the get-go that the author has a well established knowledge of the English language and a uses a wide range of vocabulary.
However, with this came a sense of the contrived. I felt some of the language was put in just to make the story sound more high fantasy. It's tempting to do, but overdone in my opinion. I know you could argue that it makes the story sound more exotic and therefore fantasy-like or whatever, but it just feels forced to me. Many sentences just did not flow, or used so many commas they were clunky or even difficult to follow. I get this; it's something I struggle with when writing quickly with too. However, proof-reading is essential. Yes, it can be boring and difficult with a CYOA (especially if you script and can't remember which page leads to which), but do it.
Which takes me onto scripting. I get that not many people learn how to script much or at all, but this kind of story would really benefit from script that isn't difficult. Even a few variables to track certain choices and the magic class picked would up the immersion and lead to a smoother experience. It just makes things more exciting knowing the author has scripted pages that change depending on your choices. It really shows the reader that choice matters, something every CYOA aims to do.
The story could also be expanded more. More lore, more background. The details can get boring, so space it out as the reader explores the world.
Given these points and the array of grammatical and spelling errors made, I think this story would be rated lower than it is if it were published today. That's to be expected- the site's standards have raised over the years. Regardless, a good edition with real effort obviously put in. It is a shame I probably won't be able to read the sequels and see improvements made.
5/8
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AzBaz
on 7/15/2019 12:02:04 PM with a score of 0
This story is linear. This story needed thorough proofreading that it never got. This story does not take advantage of editor features. It offers many options which are narratively inconsequential, except, that they give the player many ways to succeed.
There are moments in this game where the player gets an incredible opportunity for roleplaying. What is our Uriel like? We decide. Our choices are not inconsequential in substance, as they allow us to define the character we want to play as.
More games should strive to do this. Our character's personality and strategies are ours to control in thoughtful detail, and that's a pretty admirable accomplishment that this long gone writer championed.
Unfortunately, some of the sweetness we might otherwise enjoy from this short venture in a fantastic land runs dry as "Tides of War" never made it past its first step. Likely, we'll never know what intrigue awaited, nor how our version of Uriel ended his journey.
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ugilick
on 5/23/2018 12:59:18 AM with a score of 0
Incredibly well written story. The writing style really sets the mood and atmosphere for a classic fantasy setting feel.
It's linear, but very replayable. I like the way playing a different element will give you a whole new perspective on the same story. It's very clever the way the story all fits together and makes sense whichever path you take.
I would have criticised the decision to not script it so that the player would be forced to stick with their element, but I feel the explanation given in the description is justified.
The only things I can think of that would have improved this storygame is more thorough proofreading and a sequel. It's a shame that we'll probably never get to see the rest of this series.
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31TeV
on 9/13/2014 6:42:11 AM with a score of 0
i dont know if i just played bad but this was super short, but it was good none the less
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fefqerbqgrbq
on 12/16/2021 12:30:40 PM with a score of 0
no
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Corvin
on 1/3/2021 5:41:23 PM with a score of 0
Good story I hope that you finish the next chapter or the space story soon.=)
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choicemaker500
on 11/20/2020 8:40:03 PM with a score of 0
Shame this story never got finished, but it was a decent story on it's own. Got to say, it was very frustrating that you kept having to choose which element you specialized in, but then, this game is super old, and was probably made before the advanced editor even existed, so you're off the hook for that one.
In short, writing was good, story was engaging, magic system was cool. ^_^
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Avery_Moore
on 10/29/2020 12:29:31 PM with a score of 0
Super fun! I am eager to see what happens next.
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AnEvilNecromancer
on 9/19/2019 4:25:54 AM with a score of 0
Entertaining game and some cool choices in there. Shame it was so short and a bit linear as some others have said but I still enjoyed it. Thanks and more please!
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Glokta
on 8/1/2019 7:27:47 PM with a score of 0
I knew it's in parts but still..I feel kinda disappointed that this part is way too short..Good and promising story line tho...
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— Kuro on 3/17/2019 2:28:06 PM with a score of 0
Old story but advanced for it's time. I enjoyed the magic selection and how each type of magic can aid the main character.
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Slinking
on 9/18/2018 12:02:21 AM with a score of 0
wish it was longer more please
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TestingJest
on 11/13/2017 11:53:20 PM with a score of 0
Loved it. It was not long to read which was good, and it was enough to engage you in. Thanx for the trip!
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— natasha on 11/9/2017 10:35:00 PM with a score of 0
wish it was longer
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— buuuuu on 10/21/2017 9:10:54 PM with a score of 0
more please
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AurondragonTyr
on 10/20/2017 10:44:31 PM with a score of 0
Great game. But I don't like how if you choose a certain element, you're given other elemental choices. But good game. Very entertaining
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nm13757
on 9/22/2017 4:56:11 PM with a score of 0
The best I can say is, it isn't a waste of time to play, but if your time is precious look elsewhere. The "honor system" used for the magic specialty doesn't really hinder gameplay and is in line with a paper cyoa book, but some might find it un polished. I didn't dock points for that, my rating mainly stands on content over mechanics. The writing was not poor, but I never felt invested in the story or my own character. Outside of combat there were few choices and all were largely irrelevant. I would have liked to see some more creative and less repetitive combat options, and in those cases you were given an option other than "use your specialty" or "generic magic" it almost always resulted in death. Overall the writing and gameplay could deserve a higher score, but this didn't have the length to make a bigger impact. It is a part one yes, but I don't feel as a part one it had enough of a self contained plot. The cliff hanger ending is a hard one to pull off. It must be well crafted and at the very least it must give the reader enough to chew on that they are aching to find out what's next. In that regard this cliff hanger is both unsatisfying, and the initial chapter didn't pull me into the "mystery" enough to make me want more. The danger of a multi part series is that even if the entire volume of work is strong, each part will be judged on its own merits. This author has room for growth, but judging by this work they could have the tallest and drive to go far. Despite my critiques I do not regret the time I spent playing and never found myself groaning or wishing to just get through to the end.
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kyo787
on 4/11/2017 10:44:28 AM with a score of 0
Amazing story, loved every part of it and hope art 2 is just as good or better!
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— Nick K. on 3/19/2017 12:16:33 AM with a score of 0
Decent
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— Yyyy on 2/16/2017 1:14:23 PM with a score of 0
so glad to have more than 2 choices at almost all if not all decisions in the journey
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— MadTree on 2/13/2017 11:36:44 PM with a score of 0
It could be made longer, but apart from that, fantastic.
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Mysteriousperson123
on 9/26/2016 9:40:10 AM with a score of 0
Boring dragged on
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— Thomas geale on 9/22/2016 12:13:31 AM with a score of 0
Quite a good way to pass my time on the toilet as I suffer from chronic constipation, I usually take 30 to 40 minutes on a trip to the lavatory and having a fun and literary time on the toilet, quite exhilarating, thank you for the lovely story ??
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— Stanky pancake on 9/22/2016 12:06:16 AM with a score of 0
It's definitely worth a read.
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— mecha kk on 9/11/2016 12:28:21 PM with a score of 0
Great!
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— Archie on 8/31/2016 5:23:46 AM with a score of 0
This game was pretty good. Playing it stoned was definitely the highlight of my day today (a pretty shit day tho, like on the whole). Anyway, I only died a couple times, and I didn't see the point of picking an element - I mean, you could just say later on the game that you were any type of mage, and it didn't matter what I had decided to be earlier in the game.
Dammit, I want my being an Air Mage to mean something. Still, the game was a pretty good way to pass the time.
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— An Asshole on 8/28/2016 3:10:25 PM with a score of 0
very short. Would like it to remember what element I choose to specialize in. Still well written just wish there was more.
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BigRonn77
on 8/25/2016 1:37:04 PM with a score of 0
Srry but I got a bit bored
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— Me on 8/4/2016 12:00:01 AM with a score of 0
Definitely needs to keep track of your element choice for you, I think it's rather silly for an online game to make you memorize it, when i know full well it can be put in.
The writing and story were decent, though a bit short. I wouldn't call the results of individual choices hugely logical though.
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falco1029
on 7/22/2016 9:06:02 PM with a score of 0
it's good but to short
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— SAMUELSREGHIN on 7/13/2016 5:40:31 AM with a score of 0
Amazing.
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MadelineGrace314
on 6/26/2016 8:23:29 PM with a score of 0
I read this, and believe it was caused by my choices, but was amazingly uneventful. I loved the wording abd characters were vividly made. Please make more than one, which I'm about to look for
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— Gabe Payne Stanford on 4/27/2016 1:22:09 PM with a score of 0
intersting
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deathrapper
on 4/27/2016 9:12:25 AM with a score of 0
I finally beat it with at least 3 tries!!!The last question was the hardest. I was a Flame mage
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— Owen on 4/26/2016 1:30:10 PM with a score of 0
i like medieval/fantasy games so i liked this storygame. i am excited for the sequel.
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thebigE
on 4/22/2016 6:37:58 PM with a score of 0
Fun could be longer
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— Ludik on 4/21/2016 5:39:44 AM with a score of 0
Good and fun story.
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Collin1357
on 4/14/2016 1:12:03 PM with a score of 0
Very good! Also, very short. This fellow is a very skilled writer.
It's clear that he employed a large multiplicity of choices over a longer story.
If I have the opportunity to see part II of this story, I will savor it. It may be a shorty, but it's a goody!
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— Alwonk on 3/31/2016 11:19:13 PM with a score of 0
That was pretty cool, but it needs a sequel.
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MisterMeep5
on 3/31/2016 10:44:13 PM with a score of 0
Pretty good. ^_^
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IndigoSpirit
on 3/19/2016 2:21:10 PM with a score of 0
Dang, I died. I always do a story in one try. But, It was very good.
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Jimmysutton
on 3/16/2016 12:09:49 PM with a score of 0
ok
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halodeath434
on 3/4/2016 1:49:27 PM with a score of 0
It was a good story
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— Deatface on 2/22/2016 12:05:35 PM with a score of 0
Pretty good, pretty good.
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CatLover366
on 2/17/2016 6:00:47 PM with a score of 0
Cool
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silton2
on 2/6/2016 8:30:34 PM with a score of 0
really interesting :D
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docH
on 2/5/2016 6:53:47 AM with a score of 0
Thrilling from start to end. Looking forward to part 2
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ketienya
on 2/5/2016 1:44:57 AM with a score of 0
Hey there. I found your story, out of boredom.
Guess what? I loved it! It was a classic "good guy vs. bad guy" story, but it had its twists and turns. Keep writing!
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— Lucy on 1/27/2016 9:22:02 PM with a score of 0
Has a lot of potential with an intriguing setting, but this is a slow opening.
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— Condragon22 on 1/15/2016 1:30:03 AM with a score of 0
I loved this! This was my first story on this site and it was an absolutely great one.
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MistyRainStorm
on 1/9/2016 7:21:10 PM with a score of 0
Short but satisfying!!!!!!!!!!!
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— HMAN on 1/8/2016 5:42:39 PM with a score of 0
That was really good! I liked the drawings, too.
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TheBossWriter
on 12/17/2015 1:13:41 PM with a score of 0
I kept on dying by choosing the exciting answers. Death everywhere.
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— blargh on 12/7/2015 6:54:22 AM with a score of 0
This is an intriguing game. I would like to see a sequel.
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— Zender on 12/4/2015 2:52:31 PM with a score of 0
Even though it was quite short, I am a fan of the idea of elemental magics, and the genre appealed to me as well.
Unfortunately, I couldn't get over the clumsy way in which badly-utilized pronouns would confuse the actions of the characters. There were an average amount of misspellings, but the words themselves being misplaced in their sentences were the biggest distractions.
It's not a badly-told narrative and it has a lot of potential, but the author needs to focus on cleaning it up before publishing next time.
I will say: the drawings were EXCELLENT - easily matching things I've seen in early Lone Wolf and Choose Your Own Adventure books! Whether it is the author him/herself who has done them or someone else, I would sincerely like the artist's contact info so I may hire him/her to do some illustrations for me as well! ^_^
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CastleLover
on 11/24/2015 9:54:03 PM with a score of 0
Neat, would like a longer story. Cool Ideas and good writing!
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Galootius
on 11/2/2015 7:03:55 PM with a score of 0
I played like 4 different times lol. it was awesome!!
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— Nicole on 11/2/2015 12:16:26 AM with a score of 0
Above average in almost every respect
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— LagDragon on 10/18/2015 11:37:42 PM with a score of 0
"Lying", "off", please use spell check and re-read content but overall it was a great job!
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freemancer
on 10/13/2015 6:20:09 PM with a score of 0
Very Nice!!!
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orionblaze000
on 10/12/2015 5:40:49 PM with a score of 0
Too short
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kinglyoko66
on 10/8/2015 8:14:15 PM with a score of 0
Nice job.
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Shadow_Strider
on 8/22/2015 10:06:25 PM with a score of 0
Well it was a good story and the elements system was interesting.
The only downside was how short the story was. Still I definitely recommend trying it out.
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Paradox_GH
on 8/17/2015 8:16:33 PM with a score of 0
8/8 well written and finally a great story full of choices and a good plot!
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JinDary
on 5/24/2015 6:22:48 PM with a score of 0
Great, though you cold just lie about the magic you use
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Dmanxbox
on 5/8/2015 12:48:50 AM with a score of 0
pretty good, some paths end pretty fast though
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— bob on 5/5/2015 2:14:08 PM with a score of 0
Awesome
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Eaglefox2002
on 4/24/2015 10:18:47 PM with a score of 0
too short
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— molly on 3/13/2015 5:26:49 PM with a score of 0
Loved it
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clayton_97
on 2/27/2015 2:43:38 PM with a score of 0
It was fun but I would have liked for it to be a little longer
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crazyben
on 2/22/2015 8:05:39 PM with a score of 0
This game is just plain boring! It is nothing like the actual Choose Your Own Adventure books.
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— Margaret on 2/7/2015 8:08:30 PM with a score of 0
Good.
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Hellion
on 2/6/2015 11:36:25 AM with a score of 0
Yo this was my first choose your own adventure thingy but i really liked it :3 but i thought it will be much longer :o i mean the story was not complete but i really enjoyed it and wished for more
i guess writing these takes a huge amount of time so i don't blame you
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— Demo on 1/24/2015 3:39:01 PM with a score of 0
Can't you start again if you are unsuccessful?
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— Ella on 12/5/2014 12:32:10 AM with a score of 0
pretty good....lots of options and such.
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windchaser
on 11/24/2014 12:54:02 AM with a score of 0
Well written, the fact hat I can select what ever I want even if I chose a different specialization is a bit of a hiccup. Overall an excellent story
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hugo23
on 10/31/2014 6:46:31 PM with a score of 0
Nice
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— Derek789 on 10/19/2014 5:37:06 AM with a score of 0
Good story well written with and enaging plot. I wish it was longer and brought the story to a definative conclusion. Looking forward to playing part II.
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— Jordi P on 10/9/2014 12:33:19 PM with a score of 0
the steady growing worse of the road.
LOL Who wrote/edited this crap
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— alan on 9/23/2014 8:07:59 AM with a score of 0
The concepts of different elements connected with different personality traits kept me playing to find all of the possibilities. As the author said, it would be ideal for the game to remember your initial choice of element, but the game is entertaining nonetheless. A few typos here and there (what can I say, I notice!), but overall, worth playing a few times! Thanks!
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mek7
on 9/6/2014 12:15:48 AM with a score of 0
I think this game was great(Except when changing elements
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— Allen on 8/28/2014 5:34:46 PM with a score of 0
I loved the game I had to play with all the elements to truly complete the 8/8!
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kaelisocool1
on 8/23/2014 8:46:19 PM with a score of 0
Very well-written with a good story and fleshed out RPG elements. Could have been a little longer, but I understand with all the paths that it would have taken a lot of time. This was a lot of fun and if you can spare a bit of time, try this out.
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SkyTenshi
on 8/13/2014 11:49:41 PM with a score of 0
Interesting story. I enjoyed playing. Thanks. Keep writing!!!! You are good
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— Christie on 8/6/2014 6:01:27 AM with a score of 0
5/8 extremely short but ok
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— hunter on 6/24/2014 1:32:58 AM with a score of 0
Very excellent game. I have read many of CYOA stories and I have yet to read one as well written as this. I like how you made more options to continue the story and plots than the regular CYOA stories have to offer. Keep up the good work!
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Scrappydoo1996
on 6/22/2014 9:54:02 PM with a score of 0
The game is awesome with nice plot.. The site needs more such games..
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salvator786
on 6/19/2014 7:24:50 PM with a score of 0
it was pretty good ^^
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Okaamii
on 6/5/2014 5:44:01 PM with a score of 0
Pretty good, could be longer but still an entertaining story, good job. 5/8
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squatter
on 5/24/2014 6:39:15 PM with a score of 0
Good, but the class system wasn't very restrictive. You could easily claim to be a water magus when you are really adept at fire magic. Still, it was a fun game, so 7/8.
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jamescoker1226
on 5/20/2014 2:10:32 PM with a score of 0
I think this game has no faults except for some spelling errors :)
The descriptions are neither too short nor lengthy, and I liked the elimental system a lot!
I will definitely replay it and see if I can win by taking another course of action.
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SnowFlower
on 5/13/2014 9:34:08 AM with a score of 0
Great storyline & more than a little challenging but well worth it. The only problems I encountered were spelling errors, grammar errors, wrong word use (example: here is used instead of hear when the word hear is what was meant to be used), & a couple parts where multiples of the same words were used (example: of the of the). So ye basically just need someone to proofread your work & then will not have any problems with it.
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bearclaw01234
on 5/9/2014 4:16:49 PM with a score of 0
Wonderful and intricate story! Can't wait for the second part!
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GavinEzraGoh
on 5/5/2014 4:01:35 AM with a score of 0
It was an interesting tale
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Keper
on 4/21/2014 12:10:28 PM with a score of 0
Fun, waiting for the next part!
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Pitchi
on 4/17/2014 10:43:23 AM with a score of 0
Not bad, could be longer.
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karod1blockbreaker
on 4/16/2014 8:17:35 AM with a score of 0
Good story, if a bit short. Waiting for the sequel.
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BurningPen
on 3/28/2014 1:13:04 PM with a score of 0
Very well written.
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jamescoker1226
on 3/24/2014 2:43:54 PM with a score of 0
Awesome!
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EarthCollision
on 3/8/2014 10:30:17 AM with a score of 0
Excellent beginning for what promises to be a lengthy plot.
CYOA Format: Multiple endings that don't immediately end in death and a "True" ending make this more in the flavor of a Lone-Wolf style CYOA than other longer works. The choices are numerous and feel viable without insulting the reader's intelligence... No, we don't want to release the demon Velzix :)
Story Format: The brevity of each section is a welcome relief from the normal section length (of 4-5 Word pages). While this initial portion of the story is short, if we combine it with 3-4 similarly sized sections you'll have an interesting and compact read.
It's a shame the enemy died the way they did.. I felt it was a powerful and intelligent opponent.
Game Mechanics: From this standpoint I wish there was some form of a Mana or MP system for the spells you use. That might require making it advanced though. In any event, it would open up choices... fireball everything and then be dry when the real threat shows up? Additional options would be available if you had the MP / Mana to use them. Depending on what element you are you could start w/ differing levels of Mana. Choices could be as follows:
Are you an Adept of Ice? (link)
Cowardice is better than death - Run away! (link)
Hit all the goblins with a Magic Missile? (10 MP - link)
Fireball the area around the goblins (30 MP - Link)
Summon an Earth elemental (90 MP)
TL;DR - While brief, this CYOA is well done and deserves your excitement for future installments. A must-read for everyone new to the genre or learning how to write one.
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— ItanoCircus on 3/8/2014 2:54:21 AM with a score of 0
i loved your story! it was very thrilling and i did not die! XD
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— reese on 2/28/2014 10:35:41 PM with a score of 0
I think the concept of having "class" of mage is awesome, but it's too bad I didn't see much of its effect on the story. Whichever elemental I choose, it seems that I can manipulate other element just as if I were magus of that element. But nice story and politics though. :)
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chenliyong
on 2/27/2014 11:14:23 AM with a score of 0
Would have been great not having to search through different choices for each element since I had picked one in the beginning
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Viktorii
on 2/25/2014 2:28:04 PM with a score of 0
Great story, loved the element selection and the well thought out balance between the elements, could have really used a script to check your element rather than you having to tell it every time but it doesn't detract from the excellent and well written story in the least.
Appreciated the multiple story lines branching from one universal one, and how each seperit story played in, as well as the spectacularly well done descriptions of the everything you encounter after death, which also serve to make losing more interesting than seriously disappointing.
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— defender on 2/21/2014 10:18:21 AM with a score of 0
Great reading adventure! The story had a few minor grammatical errors in it, but I enjoyed it nonetheless and highly recommend it to others. :-)
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CardinalSynn
on 2/16/2014 8:04:49 PM with a score of 0
Fun story. Lots of twists and fun turns.
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Booksam
on 2/7/2014 5:35:08 PM with a score of 0
This game, while indeed being rather short, is incredibly good. I cannot wait for the second part to come out.
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griffin535
on 1/6/2014 10:43:53 PM with a score of 0
Absolutely fantastic
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— Martyn on 1/5/2014 11:43:43 AM with a score of 0
Good stuff, a few mistakes ('of' rather than 'off', missingspacesbetweenwords, etc) but none that are blaringly obvious. A very good read.
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— Bill on 1/4/2014 10:34:21 AM with a score of 0
I Beat the game under half an hour without useing the back button.
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Altersies
on 1/1/2014 5:19:03 PM with a score of 0
Pretty cool! There are a few typos, but otherwise the storyline is as magnificent as the fluidity of your if/else statements. Good work!
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— STORMAGEDDON on 12/27/2013 5:55:35 PM with a score of 0
Fantastic story!
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OldManWillakers
on 12/5/2013 11:40:47 PM with a score of 0
looking forward to part 2
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Wisdom
on 12/1/2013 4:53:11 AM with a score of 0
the play through was good, I look forward to using all the different elements
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Wisdom
on 12/1/2013 4:32:19 AM with a score of 0
great game
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dbzfan94
on 10/31/2013 7:39:58 PM with a score of 0
Really cool, but I wished it were longer.
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Tanstaafl
on 9/16/2013 8:27:24 PM with a score of 0
Please make more!
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Il_Maestro
on 9/7/2013 10:08:31 AM with a score of 0
Hope to read part two soon.
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SomeDude
on 8/29/2013 4:08:38 PM with a score of 0
Good fun, but kinda short and easy.
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— Nobody on 8/25/2013 10:20:45 AM with a score of 0
Enjoyable, similar to storybooks in the sense that it didnt keep track of what I was even capable of, which I exploited the hell out of... (I decided that I was so amazing I could cast whatever types of spells I wanted to +) hehehe)
Neat game, story interesting.
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— Who really cares? on 8/12/2013 4:38:50 AM with a score of 0
Really interesting...
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jack10345
on 8/7/2013 10:22:39 PM with a score of 0
beast
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frank2
on 8/3/2013 1:03:08 AM with a score of 0
Great story, very enjoyable, I look forward to playing the second chapter!
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— Nick on 8/2/2013 2:40:30 PM with a score of 0
Amazing book! i really want to read the next part!
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— Joshua on 7/28/2013 11:54:17 PM with a score of 0
It was rather short and drab. There were also many distracting typing errors.
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— Michael on 7/19/2013 3:13:04 PM with a score of 0
Good game, things moved logically and quickly.
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Drydenhouse
on 7/14/2013 1:56:36 PM with a score of 0
superb... Liked it very much.
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rabinjackman
on 7/13/2013 3:07:50 PM with a score of 0
Very well thought out -with a few grammatical errors. Story was interesting and left me dead...more than once.
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DukeRobb
on 7/6/2013 12:28:38 AM with a score of 0
fun game
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mewmew1000
on 7/2/2013 6:15:43 PM with a score of 0
Great story. although seems rather limited in choices, it is still captivating
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Venomlord
on 5/31/2013 3:43:16 AM with a score of 0
Good game
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Drakilian
on 5/24/2013 4:47:41 PM with a score of 0
Awesome game.
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— Leo on 5/19/2013 9:21:44 PM with a score of 0
I love the Game! Can't wait to see the game! Ha-ha.
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— Leo. on 5/16/2013 3:49:28 PM with a score of 0
I enjoyed it but it's too short. I realize that having multiple choices took you more time to write it, but seriously, how long did it take? 4 hours? I'd rather see this much, much longer. Like, if the current version is a chapter, the whole game would be no less than 10 or 15. This is the only reason I rated it 5.
It certainly had a lot of potential, though.
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Deadswifi
on 5/11/2013 3:15:29 AM with a score of 0
Pretty Good. A little weirdly worded, but its neat.
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TaraPhoenix
on 5/7/2013 3:16:22 PM with a score of 0
too short, needed to be longer and more in depth, but a good first part nonetheless!
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cybermum117
on 4/21/2013 6:17:39 PM with a score of 0
Feels somewhat short, but other than that great game
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Drakilian
on 4/19/2013 3:38:18 AM with a score of 0
This story is so AMAZING!!!!!!
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Chaze
on 4/13/2013 2:58:44 PM with a score of 0
It really good
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Chaze
on 4/13/2013 2:43:12 PM with a score of 0
pretty good, too short. I wanted more, so you know it was good. Hurry with the next chapter. Thanks.
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— zzz on 3/26/2013 8:58:15 PM with a score of 0
I died
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Tha_Don_Music
on 3/21/2013 10:27:07 PM with a score of 0
I wish it would be fleshed out better, and longer. The choices should also be remembered and I feel it lacks actual choices that matter, as example no chance to save any of the two companions no matter what element or tactic you use.
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joriandrake
on 3/18/2013 5:09:14 PM with a score of 0
The game flies by! Nice story that leaves me wanting more. :) Thanks!
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RipElliott
on 3/8/2013 7:28:47 PM with a score of 0
I very much enjoyed this story played as a water magus, and I'm looking forward to trying the other versions and the next chapters :-)
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Domaldel
on 3/6/2013 5:28:13 PM with a score of 0
good
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— takila on 3/5/2013 2:42:05 PM with a score of 0
Wow, I won! :p I love the variation between the choices. I really love the "choosing of elements" part. :p
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toni
on 3/5/2013 5:29:28 AM with a score of 0
there were a few spelling erors but other than that very nice story, ill be waiting on the next part to come out.
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Abaddon_Wolf
on 1/30/2013 8:23:36 PM with a score of 0
Really good! It really casts you on the story.
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Haramir
on 1/26/2013 3:42:59 PM with a score of 0
It was amazing, however a little too much text for me.
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Darkbound
on 1/21/2013 3:09:43 PM with a score of 0
Pretty good. Very short. A link to part 2 would be great
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kreidertheglider
on 1/13/2013 8:55:06 PM with a score of 0
It is a great game
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— Matthew on 1/8/2013 8:01:08 PM with a score of 0
Good job but, the choices kinda confusing, and the main character need more identity.
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Joe_Carol
on 12/28/2012 10:31:46 AM with a score of 0
Great Story! The writing and imagination is excellent. I was pleased to have a lot of choices. Still it could be longer.
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— Reader4324 on 11/22/2012 5:37:57 PM with a score of 0
i indeed was hopeing for more diversity in the story line, but i understand that a second chapter is hard when it didnt culminate at one point.
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veldric1
on 11/14/2012 4:13:52 PM with a score of 0
This was really cool. I liked the elemental power thing.
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rae38
on 10/27/2012 2:03:11 PM with a score of 0
This was a really good game. I enjoyed it a lot, but I'd prefer it if you couldn't keep changing you element to your will, by using variables.
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betaband
on 9/22/2012 4:25:40 PM with a score of 0
I liked this one. Ice for the win.
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— Sjabber on 9/22/2012 1:45:46 PM with a score of 0
It would be better if i had to only pick my talent once, but it was still good.
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alienalpha
on 9/18/2012 5:07:56 PM with a score of 0
Well written with a good amount of available choices and outcomes. I thoroughly enjoyed the story, especially the details.
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Doppleganger
on 9/18/2012 1:55:05 AM with a score of 0
This was one of the most well-written storygames I have ever played on this site. It reminds me of the classic Choose Your Own Adventure books, a testament to the professionalism, thought-provocation, and suspense of it. Well done, author!
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cjoll4
on 9/7/2012 12:00:42 AM with a score of 0
I enjoyed it a lot, though it is pretty short. Now I must play the sequel!
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— TaylorCN on 8/27/2012 6:01:58 PM with a score of 0
Erm, my main comment was that this shouldn't be a 7/8 length.. I mean, I think Necromancer was ranked 7/8, and that took me hours to read, where as this only took me maybe one.
Otherwise, not terrible, some of the language at times was odd or downright incorrect, but other than that being a fire mage was enjoyable.
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Spellslinger
on 8/12/2012 3:23:45 AM with a score of 0
Very cool, I can't wait for part 2 :D
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NellucStoryGuy
on 7/25/2012 1:48:23 PM with a score of 0
Great writing
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Xt1000305
on 7/23/2012 9:15:02 PM with a score of 0
Numerous choices with creepy plot!
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RobustSporadic
on 6/26/2012 5:28:45 AM with a score of 0
Nice. Caught a couple spelling mistakes in there, but nothing bad. Great in every way. 7/8
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written_agreement
on 6/17/2012 4:16:28 PM with a score of 0
i look forward to many more volumes of this story
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zeke86198
on 5/19/2012 4:49:12 AM with a score of 0
Very entertaining. A bit short, but very good.
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15aewar
on 4/29/2012 1:08:32 PM with a score of 0
Its a really good story and i can't wait for part 2
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carrela
on 4/5/2012 11:30:29 AM with a score of 0
Very well written.
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Killer999
on 3/22/2012 3:28:56 PM with a score of 0
It might just be my path in the story but i found it surprisingly short...
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Meriko
on 3/13/2012 11:05:01 PM with a score of 0
I loive it! I did every element. I can't wait until the next chapter!
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SEULaw
on 2/29/2012 4:35:47 AM with a score of 0
pretty good but short
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betaband
on 2/22/2012 6:49:19 PM with a score of 0
Fun :)
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BerkaZerka
on 1/24/2012 10:46:05 PM with a score of 0
Okay, I Love this story. I have played it a hundred times, and find the characters extremely intersting. but dude, are you ever going to make a new one? its been like 6-7 years. are you dead now? if not, PLEEEAASSEE!!! publish the next episode. PLEASE!
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— Alavander on 1/14/2012 9:34:38 PM with a score of 0
Yay! I lived!
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jcam
on 12/27/2011 10:14:51 AM with a score of 0
Very good, but I wish we coulda used our magic more than once.
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— Austin on 12/6/2011 4:52:49 PM with a score of 0
Aww good story but left me wanting more ... Way too short :(
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Rialla514
on 10/28/2011 10:39:45 PM with a score of 0
a bit too short
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— Josh on 10/8/2011 11:32:21 AM with a score of 0
Awww mannnn, i wanted MOREEEE!!!! Good game, very good game!! I enjoyed it immensely, please tell me there's a second part!!!!!!!!!
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ChaiHai
on 9/30/2011 3:34:32 AM with a score of 0
I loved the type of magic you used in the story and the character was well written, now go finish Part II before i send my own goblins to eat you!
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Fireplay
on 9/28/2011 2:15:28 PM with a score of 0
It was fun but a little on the short side.
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RandomLord
on 9/25/2011 2:23:41 AM with a score of 0
Good game. I'll now be looking for a continuation... Hopefully there's one out there.
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— D Love on 9/25/2011 1:24:59 AM with a score of 0
bored doesnt make sense
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— liko on 7/31/2011 1:59:49 PM with a score of 0
Cool, but NOT better than Reeses Peanut Butter Cups. Nothing is. Exept more reeses!!!
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giamonic
on 7/6/2011 11:50:05 AM with a score of 0
Confusing, but then again, most fantasy is. 5/8
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RiterOfWrandom
on 7/4/2011 9:33:13 PM with a score of 0
WAY too short :/
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ryosynada
on 6/23/2011 11:52:13 PM with a score of 0
The way Uriel's actions and reactions are described are wonderful, and the plot from here on out has great potential. I eagerly await the continuation of this piece into a series, and hope that this level of quality will remain.
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— Forrest W.A. on 6/20/2011 9:38:46 PM with a score of 0
Really good. I like it alot.
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Killer999
on 5/18/2011 3:39:53 PM with a score of 0
Very well written. Thorough descriptions and exciting options!
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— Andrew on 5/5/2011 2:14:02 PM with a score of 0
Was a fun game to get into... ...but thats it. I was just getting into the game! I gave it a 5 due to length, could've easily been an 8 had I gotten deeper into the story. Can't wait for more!!!
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— Mazz on 4/22/2011 1:59:22 PM with a score of 0
Good story but I failed with water, ice and earth, didn't try air, only succeeded with fire might have been the choices I made, don't know.
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— Lena on 4/21/2011 1:48:29 PM with a score of 0
Great story! A little short, but still good!
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DRBickham
on 4/18/2011 12:13:03 AM with a score of 0
Awesome Game! I loved. only thing, is there a list of possible outcomes, or at least could you give a grade on how well you do? that would be awesome. thank you.
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— Alavander on 4/17/2011 6:46:59 PM with a score of 0
Hello, Sir/Mam. I greatly enjoyed this game and hope you make another. my only comment is that I made a seemingly good choice, yet there was nothing I could do to save the day.overall, though, excellent story.
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— Alavander on 4/17/2011 6:32:33 PM with a score of 0
Is the sequel out yet?
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Fleurnoir
on 4/13/2011 9:21:42 AM with a score of 0
It was quite the good RPG. I love a good choose your adventure. And this one was wonderful. Thank you for making it.
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— Daniel on 4/11/2011 4:03:52 PM with a score of 0
Reminds me of the LoneWolf books
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— Ellume on 3/18/2011 1:09:48 PM with a score of 0
Prety fun :D
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— Jon on 3/16/2011 5:31:23 PM with a score of 0
Its realy good, I wish you had fnished the sequal.
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—
ugilick
on 3/11/2011 6:54:45 PM with a score of 0
Really interesting story! Please show us the sequel.
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— Loxy on 3/11/2011 7:47:01 AM with a score of 0
This is one of the best stories I've played through, dude it is F***ing epic (appologies for the curse but hey) The story is jsut plain fun.
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— Alex Young on 3/10/2011 10:50:04 AM with a score of 0
Try to work on spelling and grammer, it gets pretty bad close to the end. Other than that, really good. The storyline is really catchy and interesting.
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— lupisreapyr on 3/2/2011 8:06:02 PM with a score of 0
not long enough, it felt like the story had only just begun.
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— liz on 2/14/2011 5:20:12 AM with a score of 0
Good, but instead of a choose your story it felt more like a story with a single ending and different ways to get there.
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— John on 1/5/2011 2:31:11 AM with a score of 0
I tought that disarming the bad guy was a prudent choice, but I guess I was wrong. Good story :)
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— DP on 12/31/2010 3:39:53 PM with a score of 0
I enjoy the story and the writing, but I feel it would be much better if the game play was more advanced and I didn't have to remind the story every other page what my element is. Also, it wasn't as long as I was expecting. If there are still plans for more chapters, I will definitely read them.
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kaz2y5
on 11/23/2010 2:47:41 AM with a score of 0
One of the best stories I ever came across! I hope to see the next chapter soon!
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Crefix
on 11/16/2010 11:21:47 PM with a score of 0
loved this, keep writing more
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coreybon
on 10/9/2010 2:51:46 AM with a score of 0
I love stuff like this. Very "role playing fantasy". It was a perfect match for what I was looking for. I appreciate the time you took to make it. I hope you make more!
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— Dan Awesome on 10/3/2010 12:58:28 AM with a score of 0
Fun CYOA, hope to play more like it!
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— brain friiz on 10/2/2010 6:19:09 PM with a score of 0
Good story whens the second one coming out
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— Aaron on 9/30/2010 3:05:33 PM with a score of 0
epic...
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doodoodude
on 9/30/2010 12:49:43 PM with a score of 0
I think it was a wonderful story thus far. I really hope to see more of this story in the future. I do think you should have gone with your original idea though, locking mages into one element throughout the course of the story.
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— Dave on 9/25/2010 7:53:30 AM with a score of 0
I was just getting into it when it sort of ended pretty abruptly.
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ianwelby
on 9/20/2010 12:32:57 PM with a score of 0
Appeared to be a fair amount of branching, which was nice. Good storyline. Somewhat distracted by the misspellings... suggest entering all text in a word processor first.
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— Brad on 7/30/2010 1:31:40 AM with a score of 0
that was fun~
but, i died. have to try again~
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— Berry on 7/19/2010 12:47:53 PM with a score of 0
Nice to find a long and good game that isn't linear! Nice work!
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koolgai
on 7/15/2010 6:20:07 PM with a score of 0
it was good i liked it im gonna do the other stories 2
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— nobody on 7/6/2010 9:02:47 AM with a score of 0
Very nice game. I really liked it.
It was shorter than I expected – maybe because it has “Play Length: 7”. But that’s not really a problem.
In any case I hope some day we’ll see the sequel too. I’m curious about this “princess” and what happened top her…
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shadowblack
on 7/5/2010 10:32:16 AM with a score of 0
it is very long and very good at the same time the only thing i dont understand is:why did you kill your own master?
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— Mr. X on 6/26/2010 10:39:44 PM with a score of 0
Not bad at all.
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— Scott Milne on 5/24/2010 6:46:11 AM with a score of 0
amazing could be a raymond e feist book good job can't wait for the second part let me know when you got it up and running
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— cole on 4/14/2010 9:12:40 PM with a score of 0
I still love this story. It's one of the best one the site. I wish he'd finish the sequel(s). I see that he did come on in November of 2009, so hopefully not only is he lurking, but writing. Hear that, Karacan?
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madglee
on 2/27/2010 9:37:44 PM with a score of 0
I liked this game.
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hummingbird3
on 2/27/2010 11:32:57 AM with a score of 0
A good, well written game.
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koolgai
on 2/20/2010 3:36:22 PM with a score of 0
Very well written. Precise options.
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PEGO
on 1/8/2010 11:45:45 AM with a score of 0
I apparently got a pretty crappy ending, but I'll definitely try again for a better one--interesting and well-written story, that although I initial thought not particularly engaging, proved to be so.
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Trzcina
on 1/5/2010 11:42:47 PM with a score of 0
This was the first chooseyourownstory I tried. Except for the occasional spelling or grammar error, the story was fairly well-written. I was easily able to imagine myself as the protagonist. However, I failed in my quest after about fifteen minutes. Hence, I am going to retry the story with a slightly different approach.
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— Zend Denmer on 12/5/2009 5:03:21 PM with a score of 0
The first one I have played at chooseyourstory.com
I died very soon although it let me suppose an interesting plot. The few options I made and the story text written seem very well done. I enjoyed the story and shall play it again soon.
(I don´t have access to wide band)
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— Pego on 10/27/2009 2:57:59 PM with a score of 0
Kind of short...
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— Sylar on 10/26/2009 9:11:02 PM with a score of 0
Pretty nice and fun story, but can get boring at points and is quite challenging to be considered a "Beginner's Storygame".
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— Mark on 9/27/2009 12:06:48 PM with a score of 0
Two tries...one death, one "you pretty much suck" ending. Still a GREAT time, and very well written. Now I'm gonna go back and try - again...
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—
aJacks
on 9/20/2009 2:55:28 AM with a score of 0
Great story, loved how you could pick one of the different elements! But you could always make this a little harder to beat...more death endings!
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— The Power of Ice on 8/1/2009 5:08:21 AM with a score of 0
What a nice adventure!
A bit short but very fun!
BRAVO! Nice work!
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Loborco
on 5/21/2009 3:44:35 AM with a score of 0
Tremendous, non-linear story based, er...story. A lot of the ideas in this story I was planning on using in my sequel to my game Warlords. Glad to see it implemented well in someone else's vision. I eagerly await Magus: Dagger's Night. Please finish it!
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—
urnam0
on 3/3/2009 5:21:21 AM with a score of 0
simply awesome
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Vitamins_n_Stds
on 10/13/2008 4:38:37 PM with a score of 0
Damn great!
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Ampkit
on 9/19/2008 8:17:02 AM with a score of 0
it was good but there was some spelling issues
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3iller
on 6/29/2008 4:41:36 PM with a score of 0
it was a fun game. easy to cheat though and say your a fire person when your actually an earth person
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jakster
on 4/15/2008 8:38:23 PM with a score of 0
Florid. Bad fantasy. But a good old time.
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— warnthepenguins on 3/4/2008 7:36:56 PM with a score of 0
Number 4? Wtf?
This is the 2nd best game on the site, I say we upvote it
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— Paul on 12/27/2007 5:28:33 PM with a score of 0
good
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12herda
on 12/1/2007 4:41:56 PM with a score of 0
Too easy, only died once
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— Saturn500 on 11/24/2007 11:15:49 PM with a score of 0
It's good
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Floorit12
on 11/4/2007 3:20:58 PM with a score of 0
wow i must have chosen the wrong things, fire and adventures! but it ended in about five minutes oh well it was still very well put together!
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emma101rox
on 10/27/2007 2:11:04 PM with a score of 0
An excellent tale. Well told, detailed, though a bit broken in terms of the element adepts, but a great story told
Bravo
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SLatios
on 6/30/2007 7:26:25 PM with a score of 0
What a game......
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Darknuth
on 5/17/2007 9:05:55 PM with a score of 0
its a 7. definately. the oonly problem is the fact that you made it possible to cheat and use the specializations of all elements. If you fix that, I will give you an 8.
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—
Rommel
on 3/14/2007 2:17:26 AM with a score of 0
One of the best games i've played
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banjoman92
on 3/3/2007 11:17:18 AM with a score of 0
I liked this story a lot - stayed true to the same kind of atmosphere that the old Choose Your Own Adventure books had, whilst offering more choices than most of those books did.
The illustrations were excellent, and although they were of higher quality than the ones in the books I read when I was younger, they (like the text) managed to invoke the same kind of atmosphere I enjoyed back then.
Excellent stuff. :)
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— Altara on 1/28/2007 3:30:06 AM with a score of 0
Pretty good, I must say. Nice first page art, by the way. Good story, but the ending could have been better.
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Ame_Oujou
on 1/19/2007 1:59:56 PM with a score of 0
I had a very good time reading the author's writing skills and playing this amazingly detailed game.
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Ame_Oujou
on 1/18/2007 9:52:42 PM with a score of 0
This game is awesome! Ice all the way!
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yelir61
on 12/24/2006 12:48:59 AM with a score of 0
Wow, you have written a great work.
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PrinceOProvidence
on 12/23/2006 9:10:41 PM with a score of 0
Played again for the first time in a while, this time specializing in fire. This is still one of the best stories on the site. The writing, the choices, the drawings - I love it.
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madglee
on 12/14/2006 2:43:17 PM with a score of 0
Impressive. Most impressive.
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Sir_Lancegalawain
on 11/25/2006 8:37:14 PM with a score of 0
that was great! I won!
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KittenBlue
on 11/4/2006 9:46:32 PM with a score of 0
Brilliant, but it's a bit too much reading for me, when I just want the action.
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— Huruey on 10/17/2006 9:08:32 AM with a score of 0
Wow! Great game! You are a very talented writer- this is easily the most storylicious game I've played yet.
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Sethaniel
on 10/3/2006 10:48:15 PM with a score of 0
Very well done, more of this type of game would probably kill me with joy.
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Barton
on 9/24/2006 1:35:05 PM with a score of 0
Great game, but it seems almost too short.
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SuperHappySmileyFace
on 9/21/2006 3:41:43 PM with a score of 0
Ah, fantastic. I want to play the sequel when you make it.
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Leon101
on 9/13/2006 9:48:26 AM with a score of 0
This is an extremely great game. Expecially if you play it fair, you will have tons of fun. Hands down the best classic editor game on here.
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Leon101
on 9/9/2006 1:49:37 AM with a score of 0
Simply fantastic! The only flaw (if you can call it that) is that it was so good that it felt incredibly short - it ended while you were still immersed in it (which is, I guess, a good thing...).
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— Adept of Ice on 8/27/2006 8:03:47 PM with a score of 0
It was pretty good, although I didn't get that far. Obviously a lot of effort has been put into this. Well done.
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October
on 8/11/2006 2:43:05 AM with a score of 0
[speachless].........INCREDIBLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
THIS is how a "choose your own story" book is supposed to be!!
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Anubis
on 8/9/2006 11:26:37 AM with a score of 0
Awesome indeed! Excellently written!
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tsmpaul
on 8/5/2006 1:49:46 AM with a score of 0
Nice, I won! Did you draw the pictures? This makes me want to write a fantasy story next. Looking forward to the other chapters.
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— madglee on 7/14/2006 11:19:14 AM with a score of 0
Excellent story, one of the best written on the site, immersive storyline and dialogue.
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— madglee on 7/14/2006 11:08:08 AM with a score of 0
Wow, I'm amaze. This game is incredible. I love your storyline and I read every word in this game. It was so cool! Thank you for a great game!
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— GodsSlayer on 7/11/2006 8:03:38 PM with a score of 0
It was just a bit...anticlimactic. Nothing actually happened, and it was all over just when you thought it was about to begin.
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— Raylin on 7/4/2006 8:54:34 PM with a score of 0
very fun, interesting and exciting
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— on 6/22/2006 10:10:53 PM with a score of 0
This is a fantastic game! I like the basic, instead of advanced gameplay, that's just how I role. That's how I played them back in the day, and that's how I play them now. This had a great and large story, with tons of choices and the like, I love it.
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— leon101 on 6/17/2006 8:20:09 PM with a score of 0
variables would make this game the best game on the site. i love the effort you put into this.
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— nate on 6/6/2006 2:29:53 AM with a score of 0
Very nice! I only wish it were a bit longer.
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— Jason on 5/15/2006 4:25:14 AM with a score of 0
Cool!
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— weedy on 5/5/2006 5:55:06 PM with a score of 0
This game is amazing. It reads more like a novel than just a game. I almost felt as if I were actually there! I look forward to the next installment.
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— Phoenix Flower on 4/23/2006 4:53:43 PM with a score of 0
Great game. There needs to be more games like that.
The action and adventure of battling and casting spells was so sweet!
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— on 3/26/2006 10:38:15 AM with a score of 0
nice story!!
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— on 3/23/2006 1:56:51 PM with a score of 0
well-written and loved the death message!
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— paddy on 3/10/2006 8:31:57 PM with a score of 0
Very good. Maybe try having variables or items next time instead of trusting the player. I don't cheat, but lots of people do. It'd be more enjoyabel as well.
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— Miccy2000 on 3/10/2006 7:04:46 AM with a score of 0
AWESOME! I know I said that before, but still, it's AWESOME!!!
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— da ravemaster on 1/24/2006 9:18:26 PM with a score of 0
Excellent gamebook. Your use of dialog was very good, and your descriptions during combat and throughout other parts of the book were quite good also. I think you should experiment with the Advanced Editor for your next book so you can play around with Items, Health, and maybe even have a Spellbook or certain scrolls. Keep up the good work, and i look forward to the sequel!
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— Axebane on 1/18/2006 3:14:00 PM with a score of 0
AWESOME!!!!!!
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— da Ravemaster on 1/14/2006 8:59:32 PM with a score of 0
Very good. Kept me interested. Very impressive.
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— Divine on 12/27/2005 8:48:04 PM with a score of 0
This was close to a book it was awesome, pictures and everything, probably one of the most thought out games on the site. Excellent
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— georgem on 9/10/2005 8:07:36 AM with a score of 0
Excellent death scene!
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— Havacoman on 9/4/2005 11:40:28 PM with a score of 0
a really good game must have taken ages a must try
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— Milo on 8/21/2005 4:06:13 AM with a score of 0
This is an excellent game. Long scenes for all actions. Getting to choose your own magic spell. I would suggest being a mage of fire. There is one link where if you don't have it you don't continue the battle. Overall a good game. I'm glad you're making a sequeal. Can't wait for it.
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— Havacoman on 7/17/2005 12:50:58 AM with a score of 0
Wow, brilliant story! I enjoy reading material written by someone with such a great command over english as you do. So many choices is a huge plus, and elemental class system was unique and interesting. The only downside was it was a bit short! I want to read more!
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— Torubi on 7/2/2005 8:54:19 PM with a score of 0
This was VERY good. Everyone always says, "That's great!" in the comments, but it really does apply here. Balanced choices that let you decide HOW the story unfolds, not just weather it continues or not.
Thank you for a great read. Now I have to try it with each specialty.
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— on 6/12/2005 10:31:41 PM with a score of 0
Oh... my... God. That... was... amazing. Please finisht eh "Tides of War" gmae. You just can't leave me hanging like that.
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— Badger on 4/22/2005 12:25:31 PM with a score of 0
this game is so good i completed it with all the players its really good i think you should have anouther wed and that top game cos its so good
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— ehren on 2/20/2005 6:20:04 AM with a score of 0
cool. very short for a rating 6 though.
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— kkkkkk on 2/19/2005 1:13:25 AM with a score of 0
I really enjoyed this one. I think there is away to lock out links, such as choosing air when your a fire specialist. Its still a cool story. Very choose-your-own adventure-esque. A+
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— on 2/11/2005 6:08:34 AM with a score of 0
needed to be longer and have more pics
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— Don on 11/10/2004 2:23:54 AM with a score of 0
I don't really get the story. I just like the fighting part that's all.
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— siti on 11/3/2004 10:18:57 AM with a score of 0
i thought this was a great choose your own adventure style story. it was involving and very well written. the story was excellent and the whole thing flowed really well.
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— Lyradi on 10/19/2004 11:43:50 PM with a score of 0
good game. a bit corny, but good.
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— gamesguy102 on 10/10/2004 8:38:41 AM with a score of 0
That game was the... BEST GAME I EVER PLAYED!
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— Bongo on 7/18/2004 3:22:11 PM with a score of 0
This was good. It seemed had a whole lot for us to read though.
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— Joshua on 6/21/2004 11:27:11 AM with a score of 0
I stand corrected. I didn't play this game until well after I played "The Wal*Mart Game." At that time, it was the best game I had found on the site and, terrably mistaked, called that the best game on the site. THIS GAME RULES THEM ALL! There is so much good to be said about this game, I haven't the time to say it all! Why didn't you get the $100 prize! Had I the resources, I'd give you $10,000! Pleese finish your next game, "Space Is Cold..."! I can't wait to play it... That is, after I play this about a thousand more times.
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— IceFireKirby on 6/8/2004 2:21:53 PM with a score of 0
I WON!!!!!
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— Bootang on 5/20/2004 9:03:53 PM with a score of 0
Awwww...... I lost! Oh well I was gonna give up anyway. But it was still FUN!
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— Tombo on 5/7/2004 1:54:33 PM with a score of 0
good game! good game!
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— Emman on 5/7/2004 8:50:03 AM with a score of 0
very good cant wait till the second
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— billy on 4/7/2004 12:35:09 AM with a score of 0
Not Bad...........although I used link jumping.....
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— Maxmouse on 2/10/2004 8:35:34 PM with a score of 0
not bad at all!For a game,I mean.
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— fiftime on 1/13/2004 7:41:42 PM with a score of 0
Very very cool read. This is the best one on this site!!!
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— HL on 12/13/2003 3:06:10 PM with a score of 0
I thourghly enjoyed this game and anxiously await the next chapter
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— Proscribio on 11/5/2003 5:03:57 PM with a score of 0
Ok, one word...KIK ASS MAN!!!!!!!!!!! ohh and by the way...is coldness of space the next chapter?
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— Jon on 9/30/2003 9:05:30 PM with a score of 0
This game is awesome I saw all the good comments on it compared to most games, and thought is this game really that good, It is. It is so good it could be a published book. The time and creativity put into it is awesome. I look forward to any other games your making. I would love to play space is cold or a sequel to this game.
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— GM Shadow Player on 9/10/2003 9:42:24 AM with a score of 0
Awesome story!
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— Uriel on 7/15/2003 1:43:12 PM with a score of 0
Superb!
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— Desiree McKee on 7/11/2003 1:52:20 PM with a score of 0
A great yarn! I enjoyed unraveling it, and may come back to try it out different ways. You might want to run a spell check on the next installment, but otherwise it was very inventive and I like the variety of interesting choices.
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— J.M. Green on 6/12/2003 7:12:04 PM with a score of 0
An excellent story. I have read through many of the stories here and have found none better written or more fully thought out. I am an avid reader of fantasy and I find Magus: Betrayal to be poignant, exciting, and well on par with any novels out there today. Great work. I am impressed!
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— Jay on 6/3/2003 1:29:26 AM with a score of 0
Sheesh! This was cooooolll! But, it was kinda boring.
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— Izumi Himiro & Nene Mouri on 5/29/2003 2:03:15 PM with a score of 0
kewls
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— Uberon on 5/18/2003 2:55:12 AM with a score of 0
wow that was real exiting,,cough wtf noone? maybe none or noon but noone? over all this was well writen but was like of those books that only has a few good parts. If this game was all good aprt then it would be top 5 otherwise 2 borin<br><br>good game any way<br><br><br>The first pic in the game the bald guy..is he the player!
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— Billy on 5/1/2003 10:01:31 PM with a score of 0
Awesome story, dude. Can't wait to play the next installment.
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— Kid Narc on 4/16/2003 3:19:27 PM with a score of 0
it was very interesting!
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— jjjjj on 4/6/2003 3:51:06 PM with a score of 0
Much better this time. Very cool.
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— ESRTIOKNE on 3/13/2003 9:59:42 PM with a score of 0
That was the most amazing text-based game that I have ever played! Time for another go!
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— Hugo on 3/8/2003 10:36:41 PM with a score of 0
a good magical quest. no offense, but you have tons of pages and links, its just that you can win easily on almost any link.
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— zeldaura on 3/1/2003 11:52:03 PM with a score of 0
I beat it, but for some reason i am unimpressed. Dont get me wrong, its a great game, i just got bored with the long stories. Other than that, a very cool and entertaining game.
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— ESRTIOKNE on 2/27/2003 1:55:48 AM with a score of 0
WOH! Played every option, read the game 100% through, and believe me it took a while. This is a game of epic proportions, a virtual Fantasy Masterpiece! Congratulations on a Game well made!
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— march5th00 on 2/14/2003 7:48:35 AM with a score of 0
Wow, I'm thinking this is definately one of the best games here on the site! Very well written and captivating plot. I hope you stick around here Mr. Karacan.
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— thatguy on 2/9/2003 5:01:50 PM with a score of 0
This game rules! Its clear that you have put a lot of effrt and thought intothe game, and the choices really made me think. Hurry up and finsh it, and you will conquer this ctergorey with no trouble
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— Paul on 2/9/2003 11:02:36 AM with a score of 0
WOW! Keep up the good work, this game is going to be a masterpiece
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— march5th00 on 1/29/2003 12:21:16 AM with a score of 0
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