Player Comments on Light Space

I write this review, knowing that it is now 12 years after the story was published...

A few days ago, I reviewed another story by this same author that was too obviously a Star Trek knock-off, with all of the same tropes and hardly any ingenuity. The previous story by the author had reminded me of Robotech, or one of those similar weekday cartoons from the mid-1980s. While I could relate to the nostalgia aspect of those stories, I otherwise derived little entertainment from them.

This story was somewhat more original, and it at least didn't have me thinking of which sci-fi series this reminded me of the most. That said, despite a few moments of interest, the story was thin and left me wishing for an "end story" link so I could get on with my life.

Nevertheless, I persisted until I reached what I presumed was the preferred ending, and here I am now, recording my thoughts.

The story began weakly, with two characters on the bridge of a ship citing procedural technobabble back and forth to each other. As the reader, I had no clue what the situation was, why I cared what I was doing, or why I should shed a tear when my copilot Karl slumped over in his seat.

Then begins a nightmarish sequence in which the "story" has me wandering up and down a corridor looking for a room to enter. Besides the bridge, there are only four other rooms to enter, as it turns out, and only two are interesting.

Why do so many writers of these storygames think it's so damned interesting to enter and exit rooms? Is that what they do in real life for fun? "Gee whiz, this room is empty. Should I go back in the hall? Should I enter this room again? Should I go in the door directly across the hallway? Do I seriously believe this is an engaging form of storytelling?"

There are moments in "Light Space" when I began to have hope that a real story might start to unfold. One began with this line:

"Firstly, the bed is made. You can't remember ever having made your bed. Secondly, and more disturbingly to you, the sheets are bright pink with little white bunny rabbits on them!"

I LOVED that I was upset by the discovery of bedsheets with white bunny rabbits! But this sequence led directly to the introduction of a somewhat interesting character. Without giving away any details, there were interesting implications to the presence of this particular person that could have been explored more deeply. Doing so would have also enriched my character, as well as the relationship to the Andromeda, which at a subtextual level seems deeply profound the Dobson family.

But instead of going that route, the author thought it would be more fun to have me going from door to door, desperately hoping that something different might happen the eighteenth time I enter cargo bay, or Karl's quarters, or the galley, or the bridge.

When something different did finally happen, I had no idea why. Not that I was ungrateful to have the story advance after being pointlessly stalled for so long, but I was disappointed that a story that had an inkling of promise ultimately proved to be overrated.

I gave a few points for grammar and sentence structure (the author is apparently from one of those countries with Queen Elizabeth II on the currency, because "realize" is consistently spelled "realise," and "meter" is every now and then spelled "metre") but in the end I found this to be an unsatisfactory storygame, because most of the options led absolutely nowhere.

This game deserves every bit of praise it gets. Despite the plot being fairly linear, there was a surprisingly good amount of freedom and exploration options. The diction was very good, and some of the best I've read on this site as far as the lighter reads are concerned. The idea of something that isn't just normal time travel is a fascinating concept, and you made a great adventure of it here, making it accessible to anyone reading it. Also, I am probably in the minority about this, but I am fond of the ending's ambiguity. I enjoyed the memory idea very much.

That being said, I did have a few problems with it. There's at least one page that did not have any links on it. (Thank goodness for the back option.) It also didn't have as much emotional weight as I expected, although, I give that a pass, as I don't believe this is the type of story meant for that. Other than that, this was a great storygame and easily one of my new favorites.

And for the record, the art were great, too. Simple, but effective for describing what's being seen.

Beautifully written as always tsmpaul, but I think this story is your best based on sheer creativity and smart execution. Tackling time is no easy matter and you pulled it off brilliantly! I also love all the pictures you created - they have this muted feel which adds to them somehow. Plenty of choices, just the right length, felt very satisfied. One of, if not the best, stories on the site.

Hell nah, these texts are way to long.

very funny, but sad to early...

DANG this one's good! Creative concepts, good characters and dialogue, and it's in space!

11/10. Definitely give this one a try.

I only played through once, resolving the root of the LSJD issue, so I don't know if there are alternate endings. The concepts here are interesting and have potential for further expansion. It would be nice to reduce some of the ship travel in favor of exploring the grand daughter's universe in more detail. The time paradox issue is somewhat unsatisfactory because there is no hint at what caused the paradox, and why it doesn't occur to everyone entering LSJD coordinates. I think an adjustment to make the paradox have to do with the grand daughter's universe is one solution to liven up the resolution of the story and simultaneously provide more depth. There are some options that seem like choices, but end up navigating you back to a smaller list of choices until you're down to one. This is a pattern called railroading that takes away the power of the player; I suggest restructuring to avoid these, or getting preemptively rid of them, saying the player already tried or considered them. If Karl hadn't immediately died and could travel with you, dialog and further dynamism could've been added to the story where it was much needed, walking through the passageways before getting to the grand daughter's universe.

I suppose your writing is better than many I have encountered, and 2nd PoV is hard to use, but this was really bloody boring. If you want to write, try starting in 3rd person, then 1st, then, if you really want to, (though no one is forcing you) 2nd.

The story wasn't bad, but it didn't really feel like the choices had much impact on what happened.

it was kinda boring ngl.

Not Bad.

This was a really interesting story game. It was fairly linear, but there were still a lot of choices. I really liked this. 7/8

OOOOOOHHHHHHH IT HURTS MY HEAD IN A GOOD WAYYYY

they should never open the door.

It was bad. Too complicated waste of time

nice work

It was fun and I enjoyed the experience

I'm a big fan of sci-fi, and I thought this one had a particularly interesting plot. It dealt with time very well, being stuck in the middle of the transition instead of being stuck in the past like a lot of them do. Good work!

long but fun for such an old game

it took me about 10 minutes to complete but it was worth it

Great story! I like the parts with time travel. That was awesome!

very enjoyable!

It gives you that chilling scary but excited to see what will happen this game is very nice

I am just not patient enough i was doing alright but eventually started just skimming and choosing random options. It was cool though. I got to the successful ending eventually.

I really enjoyed reading this It's great, I'd love to read more from you

Damn this was good.

Interesting storyline. But a little confusing. Good overall, though.

great story but it kind of led you to one ending

Wonderful story of time wrap being double trapped in two places and time periods and causing your own accident and getting yourself out of trouble at the same time. Brilliant game! ;)

very good

puzzling. I like the action gradually ramping up. But where did I go wrong?

Really good story, excellent execution.

Really good, though a bit confusing until the end where it all makes sense.

Wow. Good Story!

Some spelling errors are present, other than that, it is pretty good.

I liked the aesthetic. It kept me guessing.

The time travel got a bit weird, but it's a good game.

I really enjoyed it. it was great to see how events came together in the end. well done.

i love it it is amazing

Love it

This was pretty good, very interesting plot.

Great game. I enjoyed it very much! Thank you for making it.

Really cool! Feels like the game don't escape 3 except that you actually escape. Good work.

I think it was pretty fun. Not really into space stories, but this one was pretty cool. I was sad that I killed my granddaughter, but that's my own fault. It was pretty good.

Wow.
That is all I can say.
Good job!

How could he not know who she is when he knows in the future.

An excellent and well-written sci fi puzzler.

So good! I enjoyed trying every route and the connections within them!

An excellent and well put together story.

It was rather confusing, I feel like you're supposed to make sure your granddaughter gets her gun, but she doesn't, and then both quarters are blocked by the white light! Anyway, it's still a good game, back to trying to beat it!

I liked it. It was a very good plot, and the fact the you used a time travel factor complicates things. like how you were the one to send yourself to light space. A strange concept to grasp. but the fact is you wouldn't have been able to change what happened. :) All in all i thought it was pretty good.

GREAT STORY BUD. I LOVE THESE THINGS AND THIS ONE WAS PRETTY AWESOME

I understand that many situations in here were similar, but in my opinion, there should be less. What I mean is, many of the pages were very similar to each other, and I would enjoy it more if there were to be more unique outcomes to each choice. Thanks for reading this.

great, you feel acomplishment

good stuff!

really good

Great story

It was fun but a little confusing during some parts. (But hay almost all time travel adventures are confusing.)

I found it rather enjoyable, though it was a little shorter than I thought it would be.

Awesome. Reminds me of doctor who. My only complaint is that I was a bit confused about the ship's layout.

Very strange, didn't hold my attention for long

This was a very well written story, with engaging and mind-bending plot. The use of items was interesting, and well thought out. Congratulations on making a great storygame. 8/8.

It was really good the story itself and the way you phrased things made it a really enjoyable experience

I can't leave a comment, because my brain exploded on how complex the story is.

That was really good.

This is my first one of this type. It is pretty cool. Thank you for making it.

This one was the best! It was an amazing story with a unique plot!

A really great story in the way you set it up and the though of how that time travel works and that little piece of paradox at the overall it was really great and I didint see anything wrong with it.

pretty good

My students and I enjoyed this immensely. I am an ESL teacher in Jakarta, Indonesia.

It was good but could be longer.

Just. Simply. AMAZING

It was incredibly long, there was no need for that. the story seemed to go on and on forever, never ending.

I believe that is a weird but cool game because it is helping us continue a story with our own ending. I believe it was kinda fun and at the same time it is kinda hard. I know that i did not died in this game because i took the right chooses.

lol this is beast

Nice Story! I really like it because other ones are really boring and doesn't make you think. I like it. Good Job!

Fairly nice story. Well-written but it didn't leave me with any lasting impressions. It was fairly linear, but the various options fleshed out the story more. I felt that the story could have benefited if the relationship between the protagonist and his granddaughter was further developed, as it seemed a little barren. Other than this, this was well-written and had a satisfying story.

Fun, inventive, well written and delightful. Well done.

Great, kinda kreepy doe

A little hard to wrap your head around, but still an interesting experience to play.

That was a fun jaunt through some very well realized scenarios. Well done!

Mind-boggling... perfect. The perfect mix of Event Horizon and A Stitch in Time.

ok

I really liked this game. It had a intriguing concept, and it gave me a pretty decent feeling of control. However, I do have a few problems with it.
You not remembering going into Light Space doesn't add up with what your granddaughter said: “He used to say that he met people from the past and the future”. Also, when you realize you were trapped inside Light Space because a future version of you caused you to be, it raises more questions than it answers. In the description you state that “a few times each year, somewhere across explored space, a star ship will make a Light Space Jump and simply vanish without a trace”. Are you saying all Light Space Jump accidents happened because of a future crew member messing with the coordinates?
I also think I found a glitch: I finished the game without blowing up the cargo door. I don’t think that’s supposed to be possible.

A very very good story. Great technical writing and a superb plot.

Really good. a 7/8

superb. it really had me captivated.

Pretty good game

Very interesting, although it would be more explorational if the story included some adventures of the space trip itself.

As a kid, I was in love with choose your own adventure books! It's been years since I've read one, and I was worried I'd never read one again(much like I am worried I'll never play Warcraft 2 again, due to them both being out of production)! Tonight, I googled CYOA and found this amazing website! So far, this is the only story I've read, and it was a good one!

I loved the shifts in time, and the fact that I was given several logical choices for every situation! There was a real sense of danger throughout the story, which caused me to act cautiously in some situations, and aggressively in others (like when I took out the pirates with my grand-daughter's pistol)! If you have written other stories, I will do my best to find them and enjoy them! Thanks for writing this wonderfully scifi story! :)

It was a nice game, and a very well thought of plot

Well worth playing / reading. I love the simplicity of the structure. I felt like character interactions could have been more fleshed out but as it is the story and game elements were great fun.

HOLY COW I SPENT 20 MINUTES IN THIS!

.. And I loved every moment! GREAT job! :D *Two Thumbs Up*

Much to complicated. It just goes around in circles!

I died early. Going to try again and make better choices. I loved the setting and plot. Meeting the grand daughter was a nice touch. At the beginning I didn't like when I made one choice, I later had to go with the second & even third choice. I prefer it when you lose the options you don't choose. Thanks for an intriguing experience my first time here. I'll be back!

This story is awesome, but for me it's a little hard to follow, with all the jumps and the timeline. I don't even know how many timelines are there. But nevertheless, it's the prove that the creator's mind is at some level higher than me. Kudos!

Wonderfull

Awesome! Twists you see coming and twists you don't! I loved it all! Thank you very much!

Very well done, but all the time-space shifts and whatnot get confusing sometimes.

Very entertaining game with some very interesting ideas regarding time travel. I like how it is slowly revealed that many of the weird things that happen are caused unintentionally by yourself.
Perhaps I would have liked this game even more if there had been more detail about the characters and their lives.

Enjoyed the story! Found a bug just before ending the game


GO BACK RESTART SAVE QUIT
Head up the passageway toward the front of the ship
You take a step forward, along the passageway, then suddenly the wall blurs outwards, stretching and twisting in a warped, chaotic way, just meters from you!

Quickly, you backtrack to stand by the Cargo Bay and galley doors.

  My Inventory  


A pirate's rifle Small explosive devices Data Chip

Pretty great - im a newbie - but its great. I died though.... :)

This time travel business is very complicated, but I'm glad someone managed to create such a story game

Cool story. But at the start the granddaughter says her grandfather told stories about his experience, at the end he seems not to remember. Why?

Lots of fun, great space warp usage!

This is the best game i have ever played on this website can it please have a sequel?

Great story nicely written, but theres one thing I dont get. At the end you dont remember what you just went through, you only have the faintest remanence of your granddaughters face and such things like that. Yet in the story the granddaughter says that you (the granddad) always told her stories of what happend. so how does the granddad tell his granddaughter what happens when he himself remembers almost nothing of the entire ordeal.

I really enjoyed this! Good job is all i can say because i have problems pointing out specific things you did right, and there are no wrongs that i CAN point out...

One word: Awesome

Good. Short though.

Great story, but could use some work.

This game is awesome! And it isn't one of those stories where all the endings are sad.

i liked the way yu made it incorporating awe-inspiring suspense

I loved it!

this sucks dont read

It was good and had a nice plot but I didn't feel it was its best

Great storyline, really enjoyed it! The only complaint is sometimes it was a little repetitive, but the storyline was so good, it more that made up for that!

mind bending little game, enjoyed how you could exploit the time shifts to your advantage. Clever addition to the game.

Awesome!

Really interesting and a bit confusing but it was a good story.

That was extremely exciting. I want to play it again!

The story, while complex, is easy enough to follow, largely because it draws readers in and makes them want to pay attention. The low difficulty level helps casual readers enjoy the game and the numerous choices available enable strategic players to have fun as well. I found the ending to be both realistic and satisfying.

This one is EXTREMELY good! I did it with the good ending and I got it on a few tries! Kudos! *claps*

good one... but short! :)

Nice plot shifts that kept me guessing right up until the end. A well crafted tale. I enjoyed the ride.

It was the very first story I've played and it turned out to be quite an interesting experience. Makes me want to try out more stories like this. The only critique I can think of is that the ending is a bit weird; I mean if I don't remember anything that happened, I wouldn't tell any stories, and my granddaughter wouldn't know anything about my time jumping. It would have made more sense if, after the ship jumps back out of the light space, I still remembered everything and Karl remained dead.

Meh. I've had better. Maybe research the science stuff more first?

brilliant mission, though the ending was a bit anti-climatic

I enjoyed it. Thank you!

My brain hurts, confusing but damn awesome! Way to go!

love all the time travel

Okay, that was amazing. And awesome. And perfectly paced. And everything. No criticisms.

confusing but good!

This has to be one the better choose your own adventure stories that i have read on this site. Thanks for posting it.

i wish i got to blow stuff up... however shooting pirates was awesome.... acl class suxs

its fun but you have to read it not press bottons or youll get killed

lite way fun if bored ....

It's kinda linear,but the sci-fi element and time-travel logic makes up for it.
Keep up the good work!

nice

this is sooooo aggervating. -_-

Oh my gosh the logic used to make this is unbelievable.

Frustrating... I thought the story was very interesting and well-written, but it felt like it wasn't a choose your own adventure because no matter what I did I ended up in the same place. It was like I was being funneled down a path; I could choose the order in which I decided to do things, but I couldn't change the things I had to do. So it'd be nice if I had more choices. I felt like I had no choice the whole time.

I thought it was a rad experience for young sexy minds and all the brothas and sistas should play it for years to come. I mean, its got space, its got time travel, its got Karl. Like seriously, who wouldn't want to play a rad and sexy game that not only has space and pirates and stuff, but Karl. I give this game a 10 out of 8. I hope you fill the minds of sexy, beautiful sci-fi fans for years to come, you sexy author, you.

Meh.....Im not a travle forward/back and allover time stories kinda guy so....I didn't like it

I really enjoyed this story, I thought the you being at the time and the other you doing something was pretty cool.

very well written, fantastic imagination, i just enjoyed it... thanks and hope to read more from u

That was an exciting and very touching story game. I am really big on time travel and alternate dimensions, the non-linearity of time, and you scratched that itch. Thank you for making this fun game.

I thought this was amazingly well written and I loved all the twists and turns! Great job :)

Nice story line,Though the thing i really like about this game is that there are pictures that gives you a better image of how it looks like

I enjoyed this game. I only have one complaint but its more or less nitpicking so I'll get to it later. I really enjoyed the story and how it all worked out. You could tell that you put a lot of effort into it and I enjoyed it immensely.
Now for my one nitpick.
(This does include spoilers)
There is a part in the story where you can be sucked into space and it causes you to die. However the way you described the death was inaccurate. (I know its not a big deal and I just thought I'd tell you because I personally think its an interesting little bit of information) In space you wouldn't flash freeze as you described because there is no medium to suck the heat away from you. The only way you would freeze is through radiation of heat which would take HOURS and HOURS to fully freeze your body. Secondly, the worst thing you'd have to worry about is the air being ripped out of your lungs and all of your intestines tightening up until there isn't any room left in them. But again this is mostly just me being nitpicky. Loved the story.

It's very interesting. I died though, so I'm going to try again.

Amazing that you were able to keep such track on all the changes in time/location!!! Really impressive. Interesting story and a fun adventure!

very strange game but fun

i just remembered these style of books from my childhood and i love how adult versions are available online, thank you.

Nice Story :-) I enjoyed every minute of it

it took me a while but i think il try this again

At the end, he does not remember the young woman, but how was he able to re-tell the story that he met his granddaughter in the ship?

Good game.

Nice story, very long and good. Not enough action parts, and some parts were more chanceish.

OMG! CRAZYNESS!

a bit too easy, it seems? I might just have gotten lucky, but the story felt quite linear... Still, I'm always glad to be able to play one of your stories :)

Awesome game!

Maybe it's that I'm attention deficit, but I simply got bored reading. I think it would be better if it moved faster. Also, vary confusing. You should try it, everyone, its actually vary good, and he put tuns of work into it. Sorry!

Epic. Just, epic.

pretty fun. i would like to see more wrighting from you :D

great very fun love the idea

That was an awesome game! Very well written, and just a cool concept. Definitely one I'd play again. Nice use of weapons, and nice characters - and SPACE PIRATES! Awesome :)

awesome, you should make a second one, It's awesome

Good sci-fi experience!

Very detailed game. BRILLIANT idea. When I play this game I really get caught up in the story, and I feel like I'm actually in the spaceship.

I thought it was very good. I liked the ending, how it implied death, but could be interpreted in many ways

Interesting plot. This is the first story I've read on this site, so unfortunately I don't have a good base of comparison.

This is a great story, thanks for making it.
I really enjoyed it and found very few errors, and the concepts were very interesting.

Great story for beginners.

good game.

Nice plot and choices. It really feels like your there. Nice job

Wow! That was so suspenseful and crazy. The whole time I was strongly hoping I would not die or end up a a dead end. My choices were good, and I ended up jumping successfully. That was interesting and confusing. You'd almost think that after successfully jumping the story would repeat, but then,
the story will repeat when the granddaughter is older.
Time paradoxes can get so frustrating to think about! Great story.

Its awesome but it gave me headaches!! Mind raping device

Creative and mind-bending. Well done!

This book is a very exiting and good book but some times theirs is a bit to much bits where you die they should be more happy ending but when I started reading this book it got in too my mind like it was real its a killer book

I like this story because you can pick what you want to do like kill the person.. :) very happy

I may simply be lucky or even careful but I managed to finish the game and get the "best" ending? in fifteen minutes. Likely just a fluke to pick all the perfect selections. All in all though it was a pretty good story. Only complaint is I didn't feel as though I was met with any difficulty.

This was a great story! I only died twice, and the time warping was done perfectly! Thanks again!

Good story, I got blown up by a grenade though!

Coolest online choose ur own adventure I've played so far I'm gonna hoP in again and try again I didnt make it very far the first time and I'm excited to try again!

This was pretty fun! But I will say I was immediately yanked out of the story when I announced to my granddaughter that my name is Michael Dobbs...because I'm a girl in real life. :-/ I'm not sure that can be fixed, but maybe for future projects you'd do better to write a plot that doesn't specify/limit gender.

Wonderful! The twists and actions were fantastic. It peaked my interests. This was just awesome - plot twists for the win!

Awesome, simply awesome

I loved this.^_^ I read it about a year ago and came back and decided to reread it again today! This story is truly unique, and I love the way you handled time travel. You have a gift for creating fascinating stories! This is one of the best on this site! Bravo, Bravo!!!!!

Very nice and intricate use of time travel. Well done!

very good. could of had more endings on the pirate ship, and mayhbe more use of karl. after all, time dont matter on this ship.. thanks for the story.

It was really cool. Thanks for the experience and keep up the good work!

liked the game, liked the paradox :D

really confusing in the begining,but awesome in the end!8/8

A fun, short time-waster. It's got a simple, yet complex story that definitely grabbed me.

Ummmm.... Words can't describe how good this is.

This is really fun, but I'm a bit confused. If I don't remember what happened, and I don't tell my grand daughter, how will my past self survive? Will I cease to exist past this day when current time reaches the time that my grand daughter will meet my past past self. Oh gosh, that has my head spinning. Thank godness there is no such thing as time travel. Probably do more bad then good.

even better than Reeses' Cups®

It's a fairly good story for how short it is. I would recommend this to anyone that has a few extra minutes for a quick and interesting story.

short, but good!

Wow. A very intricate and well executed plot.
Can't help being a little disappointed with the ending, though. My granddaughter said I survived an accident and told stories of jumping into the future etc, yet the ending implies that everything that happened is negated and everything goes back to normal. In other words, my actions can change entire histories. But then, when the coordinates were input the first time, I caused something that had happened already...
I feel that a better ending would have been one minor change:
The coordinates my granddaughter gave me weren't necessarily those of my initial destination (she's further in the future, and the ship is most likely in a different location.) So, when Karl and I emerge in a different place than expected it's taken to be some kind of malfunction (accident), even though I protest that explanation. This way it links up with her story.

Very engaging, great writing

Love this. =D it was very fun, the only problem was that while the whole time I was trying to blow up everything it seemed not to work and even send me on a different path. This bug makes it more or less a great thing to poop on... =D

A story that can make you feel fear and manages some time travel in a smart way.

Wish I remembered my G.D.

Should have more mystery

pretty good, but confusing

even lightspace needs to stop t a reststop once and a while

Weird... but nice...

Hmm...I don't think the people rating this story so low understand it completely.

It's worth about a 5 or 6, the writing being good, but it is quite easy. And easily confusing, although the overall story isn't quite too difficult to follow.

I beat it in 10 minutes, and yes, I read everything that happened to me.

it's amazing and very exciting very good i love it:) it is better than reese's cups lol

great!

I won.

this was indeed one of the best games ever!!! i killed some pirates, charlie got injured, caused the light space incident, saved myself, met my grandaughter... ha, i'm satisfied... very satisfied.

I haven't been on this site for about a year, and I've really missed it. This story is awesome, fun to play, and doesn't get dull, this is really worth it.

Pretty good game, even though it was pointless(seeing how the whole adventure in the future was forgotten.)

I actually made it through this time! There's suspense, there's action, it's mentally stimulating, and the end was very fulfilling. Loved it!

I died, but it was still pretty fun!

Quite good. It'd be nice if there were skills involved for when you actually understand what is happening and so on.

Great Story! Great Game!

Good: The plot was really good. I loved the Space Odyssey feel of it all. The pictures were really cool too. The items looked good as well.

Bad: Nothing I can think of... maybe a map of the ship would be better, but it wasn't needed.

Ugly: Nothing I can think of. The game is beautiful ;)

This is one of my favorites.

Very cool Sci-Fi - fun fun :)

i loved this story it really made me feel like i was making progress in somthing and then mindf****d me at the end it was amazing and wish i could rate it higher

I love time travel. That's all that needs to be said!

I got the good ending, i think. It was kinda fun

this is a good story dont shoot the pirates

goood.

very good. i got a little confused for a min but it was well written so i could navigate round properly. i really liked this one. i wonder is there is more than one good ending?

I really like science fiction stories. I have ever read many book and seen the movies which talk about science fiction stories. I don't have a lot experience about that. I think that the people will reach the time in the future. And we can travel through the time. But, we don't know yet. My opinion, to perform about that we need to know more about univers, planet, light,math, physical, chemistry,etc.

It IS BETTER THAN A REESE'S CUP!

it was really good. i luv the ending! in the middle it was slightly cofusing. also, i think u should use lil more pics. so we can get an idea about wat the grand daughter looked like and stuff like that. but overall good.

A bootstrap? I really didn't see that coming (lol)
As far as time travel stories go, I think this one's quite good.

lol @ Sakuni.

This was ok. At first it was great, but then it got boring. There was excitement, but I would like it better if you were right-2-the-point. I rated it a: Slightly Better Than Homework. Sorry, but got 2 say the truth. By the way, one of your pictures, was, lets say not the right way. Hope I was slightly nice!

My “sign”? $JE…

My sign is under strict copyright!


Copyright © 2011 Sakuni Egodawatte:

$JE…

Nicely done, I did notice one grammar error, but that's all, The logic of the paradoxes was driving me round the bend a few times too.

confusing and fun all around!

cool

Very nice. I'm working on a story with a time mage in it right now and I've gotta say planning it makes my head hurt. And remember, kids, a time paradox can only be truly solved with another paradox, or Link.

A rather good game, I must say. Very interesting. I enjoyed it very much.

That was surprisingly difficult to navigate, and a little annoying at times. Still, it's a decent game worth playing.

I really think adventure stories are awesome and i would like to read another one. I came upon this site by means of "I just wanted to find a story i could choose to be in and decide what happens." I kinda didnt like how it was kinda leading me to force a choice every now and then and maybe there couldve been more choices but i love all kinds of stories like this. I loved it.

Great Game! I loved it. One thing though. At the end, you forget what happened, yet your grand-daughter told you you talked all about it. thtat kind oof ruins it, dont you think? still, great game.

Awesome game!!

Nice interesting story, gotta love time travel.

i think its perfect good stroy a strange twist(when u find out about the women is you granddaughter) but i can improve on some more deatils and you need more ways to die and after awhile i sorta got stuck like didnt let me into the cargo area or the ships gallery but its very fun to play and a earlier commet said its like star track i agree im not saying u might have copy star track but it seems like it i hope u make more of these storys good work and thanks

Cool story, I was surprised I didn't find it confusing at all

Very good story. Quite abstract and unique. My one criticism is the inconsistency in the memory of the event. At the end, there is merely an image in the pilot's head of a girl, whereas earlier in the tale, when meeting with your granddaughter, she tells you how you used to talk about the event (which I assume from this means the pilot remembered it well).
Small problem in an otherwise excellent story.

Very imaginative!

This is good writing. I noticed that you generally had one overriding arc, and you set the decisions to (more or less) lead the reader to that conclusion. I really like the idea of the reader having the ability to pick up things; it's a nice touch. The only critisim that I would have is that at the climax of the story it very much reminds me of Star Trek: Next Generation episodes of "Data Squared" and "Cause and Effect". Be careful not to reinvent the wheel in Sci-Fi.

Awsome

Excellent story thats well written and put together. Recommend this to just about anyone.

Was a decent enough read. Finished it a little prematurely, however. Mainly down to my choices, of course.

I came across this by accident,& I thoroughly enjoyed it. Keep up the good work! You're very creative!

It is okay.

This game is really awesome! You know, unlike the others it have an history that to understand it you must think about it a little! This game requires your full attention too since only one wrong option and you're done for good! Really like it and i really recommend it!

Wow. That was really good.

Interesting...

A very enjoyable experience indeed. Many Thanks. Debra

Entertaining scenario. Not difficult, though, and is there a way to wrong? I only found one death route.

I liked the mindbender aspect of the story, trying to keep up with the time-travel conundrum. I enjoyed there being so many choices, and the writing gave good visuals when there weren't pictures, like the description of the scene outside the cockpit when Andromeda was docked on a planet. The granddaughter interaction was pretty interesting. There was one problem, though, and that was the contradiction with saying that you must get out alive since your granddaughter remembers you telling a story about this time you were stuck in Light Space, but then several threads end up with you dying. And then at the true ending, you only remember the granddaughter's face but nothing else about what happened -- this doesn't make sense if later you are telling the granddaughter this story. The only other thing I would change besides clearing up these contraditions is to not describe the transition betw

It thrilled me from the beggining to the end. Congratulations.

I did it! Amazing story going along with the game it is the best i've ever played!

Very few actual branches but a good read.

I got trapped in an endless loop in the galley/cargo bay and had to restart.

This is a great example of how to construct a great adventure! Instant deaths are very rare, but every action has a consequence, even if only slightly. The story was very well written and original. I had a blast.

Original Concept... Very nice story... two thumbs up!!!

Normally I'm not into sci-fi, but this was wonderfully done.

Very cool! Interesting premise, and you carry it out very well.

THat was cool! very trippy.

An awesome game!

Wow... I love time travel paradoxes. Perfectly done, and well written.

This is awesome. The only thing it needs is a sequel! THAT WOULD BE AWESOMER!!!!!

Brilliant. I love how you mixed just the right amounts of bizarreness and coherency. Wish it had been longer, though. And perhaps even a bit more bizarre?
But, a great story! Time well spent.

Great idea. Could use a little bit more development, though.

Love the time travel, but it could get confusing. This really reminds me of Star Trek. Anyway, I'm glad I finally won!

Love the time travel, but it could get confusing. This really reminds me of Star Trek. Anyway, I'm glad I finally won!

Wow, confusing. How did you come up with all of the time-shifts and stuff? I honestly couldn't handle that kind of thing.
Great Story!

Whoa, awesome. Confusing too. Weird how you somehow fixed time and the LSJD accident never happened, but your granddaughter knew about it.
A (time) wizard did it?

Sweet story man, got alot of good ideas for the future...but maybe the computers in the future cold have safeguards against using tow coordinates at the same time. either way nice game loved it

Beautiful.

It was a wonderful story, good ideas of time travel in space. One problem though, THERE IS NO GRAVITY IN SPACE.

one word:
awesome

Wow. That was wicked. Yup, inter-dimensional/time travel is confusing. Great writing, great atmosphere, and even though there were a few characters, they were really interesting. This is just superb.

great story...really nice...

This was a very well thought out and well written game. defiantly a good game to play.

Above average story.

Cons: One page didn't have any choices. The items didn't seem to be of much use. The spatial descriptions were a little too difficult to keep up with. Just something about the writing style that was more confusing than interesting.

Pros: Good plot. Good pictures. Good length.

Could have done better but it's not a bad piece at all.

Wow, nice!

WOW...Oh my goodness, WOW... I am speachless... That was so cool...

One minor problem, though: At one point "I" (the main character) considered whether "I" had done something that, really, I had never done. I don't want to spoil any details for future players, but I'll PM you, tsmpaul, if you don't know what I'm talking about and would like to. Again, amazingly great game. I wish I could rate it a 9.

Good pictures, good game! Usually I dislike games with too many sentences and paragraphs, but this is not to long and not too short, reminds me of my first CYOA book.

You are a inspiration

pretty cool. i can see why it made best rated game. The pictures were really sweet, too.

Fantastic!

Wow. This is really another great science fiction story (not that I would expect anything less from tsmpaul). The distorted pictures add to the effect. I experienced some confusion in the parts right after I met my future granddaughter, though.

Great writing, nice use of pictures, 8/8 anouthger great game tsm paul

Very nicely done! Also well written.

wow that was some gd story stuff. Great vocab :)

Wow...how do you make such incredibly good games??

8/8 Easily. Good work Tsmpaul, very good work.

Very Good, Great work TSMPAUL!!!

Having re-played this, I decided it's an 8 not a 7. Apart from this game, I have only ever rated a game 8 once (Mommy).

some of the best writing and creativity on the site. im impressed.

Awesome story! 8/8! It deserves an award of some kind. I like how you used the feel from The Object of moving through time. Hope to see more in the future!

Another terrific game, sir. Well worthy of an eight.

AWESOME! 7/8! I urge every sci-fi lover on this site to play this game. It involves Time Paradoxes, Space Pirates and some awesome writing.