Player Comments on Paradise Violated

General Recommendation: This is definitely one of EndMaster’s most underrated games. I strongly recommend it, particularly for those looking for a more traditionally branching cave-of-time experience.
Preview: As the captain of a unit in the human empire, how you react to the possibility of discovering ancient alien technology will affect your future, and possibly that of the entire galaxy.

=SPOILERS BELOW=

Plot & character notes:
-Salo and LaFleur are characterized quickly and effectively with their opening paragraphs. Their informational links certainly help, but we learn a lot about them just from their initial description, which is good economy of storytelling.
-I’m not a big fan of extra informational links, but I know that many people do prefer them, and this story certainly utilizes them well. It provides the necessary background information without going overboard, and the information is conveyed in an entertaining way.
-The selection of names for the various races is also excellent. Each name perfectly captures the intended nature of each race, particularly the Xont and Elojin.
-“Elojin are cowardly and run at the first sign of danger.” “You mean like now?” Lol.
-Trying to show that the narrator is steadily falling under alien influence is tough to do in a show-don’t-tell way (particularly in an interactive format where players don’t like being told how to feel) but EndMaster pulls if off in a way that feels natural. The “Feeling different” device seems built to help with this, but it doesn’t really work, the necessary information is already conveyed through the writing itself in a neater way.
-Ah, too bad the Elojin had to be killed. I like trying to play nice in these games, but in a work of this tone, allowing the Elojin to survive would only undermine the narrative. As it is, the inevitability of his death contributes to the building theme.
-Alyssa is well characterized, and stays consistent throughout the various branches. It’s interesting to see the different directions her character can go in depending on the narrator’s actions. Her presence as a genuinely likeable side character helps too, especially in a game like this where so many of the side characters are just untrustworthy, or obstacles, or both.
-I like the Gequek hologram, he’s a fun and intriguing character, and in the mechanical sense, a good interactive way to deliver the necessary plot exposition in an entertaining way.
-The idea of the loyalty-inducing germ weapon is also intriguing, and a good explanation for the Xont’s disappearance. Can’t imagine what could go wrong in designing a weapon that increases xenophobic tendencies. On an unrelated note, one could theorize that some mutated form of the virus is actually prevalent in the galaxy at large; all four major nations are xenophobic and expansionist, so an outbreak of Xont germ might explain this inclination.
-The game’s longest path has a surprisingly hopeful and optimistic ending, which makes the entire work feel a little more significant. In a world as bleak as the one presented here, the possibility of future improvement for the galaxy is quite unexpected and meaningful.
-This story does a perfect job balancing political intrigue with adventure. Obviously the planet itself serves the adventure factor; dealing with natives, rival conquerors, and exploring ancient ruins. Meanwhile, your team members, especially Indoctrinator Salo, serve as a microcosm for the political tensions throughout the empire. At the end of the main path, the broadening of the scope to larger political consequence feels both natural and expansive; it works well due to the political groundwork laid early in the story, and expands the scope of the story to a larger view.
-I like that the player is allowed to turn off the main path and end the story prematurely without immediately dying. This is a realistic outcome of the player’s actions. The wide variety of mundane endings that are neither victorious nor deadly makes the positive victory endings feel more special and earned. This is also true of the endings that mostly focus on your relationship with Alyssa, this story allows the narrator victory and failure on both a personal and galactic scale.
-The path where you shoot Alyssa fall further under Xont influence is handled equally well, and forms a nice narrative parrallel to the path in which you let her shoot Salo.
-The ending where you conquor the galaxy was handled well. Often endings like this either emphasize the positives of galactic rule too much, or try to scold the player for being bad. This one does neither; instead presenting the facts of the situation and the narrator’s new outlook, and allowing the player to decide for themselves how they feel about their choices.
-I like that we get to see what the Elojin do with Xont technology, it makes them a legitimate threat rather than just a plot device.
-The plot where you fall under the influence of Xont technology and try to “seize your destiny” shows the dangers of Xont influence, in contrast to other pathes, in which is is possibly to use Xont technology for positive ends.
-I found the open nature of the ending where the narrator says “Who’s with me?” compelling, despite ending abruptly, the story feels neatly finished and a natural narrative conclusion to the events told.
-Dealing with the Mazatt commander who has also fallen under Xont influence is an interesting turn, and it contrasts well with the narrator’s own arc. This arc ends predictably and fittingly. It reminded me a bit of apocalypse now (good movie). Actually, there’s a lot in this story that reminds me of apocalypse now. EDIT: Heh, after reading further, that line seems like it’s a direct reference to apocalypose now.
-It’s weirdly gratifying to see the ending where LaFleur gets his desk job. Poor guy just wanted to push paper in peace.
-The path with the Krik isn’t as fleshed out, but that makes sense, the main story here is about the Xont. Nevertheless, the mission with the Krik does a good job illustrating what a “typical” empire scouting assignment might be like.
-It’s nice that change can be made to the empire’s policies in a variety of ways, such as through Alyssa’s personal success.

Grammar & Mastery of Language
The grammar is fine. The technical aspects of the writing could be better, there are many misued words and grammatical issues that could be fixed with a single editing round. The repeat clauses especially jumped out.
This game’s conversational tone strikes a delicate balance of sympathizing with the reader while not coming on too strong, but after the first few pages, the game settles into a consistent voice that works well with the plot.
A oft-undervalued aspect of setting the tone of a setting comes down the writing style. This story does an excellent job in this respect. The narrator’s bitter, cautious, and disillusioned attitude towards his own life and empire frames the dangerous and frustrating nature of the challenges he will face on the planet itself.

Branching
Particularly good. Most of EndMaster’s games follow the format of having pivotal plot choices at key moments, interspersed with save-or-die choices. In this game, there’s a wide variety of different endings that can be achieved, even when the player strays from the main branch. This storygame has one of the best distributions of width and depth I’ve read. Though EndMaster’s usual strategy allows his later games to dive much deeper into the arcs the story does follow, it’s nice to see this level of attention devoted to player agency and choice.

Player Options/fair choice
Pretty good. There are a few deaths that seem random, but for the most part, actions have logical consequences.

Nitpicks:
-The death link on the first page seems completely random and weird. It does make sense, given what we learn later of the other character’s movements, but it would be smoother just to cut out that pointless first choice and get on with the story.

Endings: This story has an unusually wide variety of endings that can be considered “official”. Games on this site usually tend to follow a couple specific pathes, so it’s nice every now and then to run into a game like this with a broader approach.

PERSONAL EXPERIENCE: I played this game first a few years ago, before I had an account. After dying a few times, I got the ending where you use the hologram to change the empire’s policies.

CONCLUSION: An excellent game!

It has a terrible lacklustre beginning that reminds many fanfics of Warhammer and normally If were not compose by Endmaster I will stop reading right there.

Character is portrayed as a non-descript whatever individual bored and dehumanised. Very nice and believable with the story, but making impossible to get any attachment or giving a fuck about him or about anything else really.

Then we are told not showing via meaningful dialogue or choices how the interaction between Character and main teammates Salo and Lefleur; once again, mere stereotypes who were written purposely to not be liked or cared about them and it shows.

You are left at the beginning of game With a bunch of characters you will never care about in a story background you have heard millions of times.

I should find it bad, right?

Well, Endmaster is a genius in how to intertwine scenes flow and character development in general. There is this scene where you can kill torture or just follow one prisoner and the depth he achieves with such a simple in appearance choices is astounding. Choices really matter, but still, it feels railroad and hopeless, what I think goes well with the theme and approach of the story.

Lore is well thought and familiar with normal fantasy and political history with abundant lore bits throughout the story.

And violent wonderful twists and turns inside apparently dead ends that are realistic and well planned.

But the thing Is I don't know if I really like the story. It is well thought and written, is as solid as an example of Endmaster working. However, the fact characters are so distant and there is not real immersion or meaningful dialogue reinforced my alienation from the story and from my character what I know is intended but still makes my enjoyment of the game less appealing.

Still, is a solid 7 for me and I will like more games in that lore

Having played four of End's games so far, this one is the odd one out so far. The structure branches a great deal, but fully half of the branches don't feel that rich or interesting or have as much love given to them. Once you get on the main track, the writing perks up, the choices get more interesting, and the characters get more to do. Only grim determination kept me going until I figured out where the actual story was.

However, once I *got* on that main track, I was more interested. But I don't mean to suggest the other track is pointless. Actually, I got to know the main characters better in the less interesting half of the game, which made my exploration of the other half richer. I had seen these characters and been with them on other, smaller, more low-stakes (usually) adventures, and that made me care more about them.

So I'm sort of torn. I see the point of the less-main-branch section of the game, but it was less fun to read.
As for the characters, I feel like Alyssa is the one I will remember. She has a real personality, and she's well-written, with snappy dialogue and cool epilogue actions. The other characters are really two-dimension--funny, vivid, but totally cartoons. And that's fine, because this is a 40K/Avatar/Heinlein action-packed adventure, and I don't necessarily need super vivid characters for everyone.
Pacing-wise, the beginning was slow, and there were a few slow chunks at the end which really hurt the tempo where I really just wanted to get on with it and not make choices like "explore this area further" or "explore elsewhere." The middle of the game was the very best, especially the journey to and around the ruins, before I even knew what the ruins were. The hologram bit was...ok. It was fine. But the parts where the game makes you explore different versions of mind control--being meglomaniacal, all-id, paranoid--that bit, and allowing you to dive into the madness--that was by *far* the best part.

It was a mixed bag for me. It has some parts that I will be thinking about for a long time--the "Embrace Destiny" ending, for example, or Alyssa's "Final Link to Humanity Severed" ending (my two favorites)--but there was a lot of bits that I deeply wanted to tell End to rewrite, because I know he could do more with some of the paths. (the invisible being, for example, in the caves.)

All in all, it was very cool to see End do a different type of game, in a new genre, with a larger, branchier structure than his earlier games.

a well-written story, though bloody and intricate in the plot twists. Great concept with having the protag's mood and thoughts influenced, at first by the choices he makes, then more obviously it's the [redacted]
I followed most or all of the endings I think. Good job!

Good

nice

I was good a bit to short, but amazing!

Now this story is really good. There is no other way to put it besides that. Sci-Fi isn't my favorite genre, but even so this was a pretty good story. It is good in almost ever aspect, and if you haven't read it, then I emplore you to go and do so. Same goes with any of EndMaster's works. I'm still making my way through the catalog myself, but so far ever single one of his stories is worthy of praise. So before you read my review, go read this story.

Now the first thing that that I loved about this story is it's characters. The captain has this sense of personality to him, and I love it. It is all too easy to create a protag that is generic, and bland so that your reader can project theirself onto them. While I'm not say that is a bad idea, and for some games it is even favorable, I like it when the character is his own person.

As for the other characters, there are also amazing. Salo is one that I hated and loved at the same path. In fact, the ending where you become an indoctrinator is my favorite. He is my favorite character in this story, though not my most liked. Alyssa is also really good. Her backstory is a little gernic, but that isn't too bad. The character who I didn't really like was LaFluer, who I had to look at his name since I forgot. He kind of irks me, and I never really liked him at all. His backstory was good though, and overall he isn't badly written

The branching was pretty good. It had a lot of paths, and it was spread out well. They helped to really establish the world, and the state of everything. The only gripe is that a lot of the endings where you live are pretty simlar, though that is to be expected since all you did was survive and not tell the empire anything

To sum everything up, this story was pretty good. I enjoyed it a lot, and that is saying something since I didn't think I would with the premise. I am going to have to rate it a 6 though. 6 is a big catagory, and for me it is for the stories that are great, and that enjoyed, but to get into 7 it has to be one of the best. Though I do recommend this story to anyone who is stupid enough to have read through my review without reading the game.

6/8

Best.Thing.Ever

Paradise Violated by End Master was a home run in my opinion. I didn't give it a ten, because that is perfection, an nothing is perfect in life.
***Spoiler**
The story is reminiscent of one of my favorite films, Ghost of Mars featuring rapper Ice Cube. Ghost of Mars was made in the '90s and its premise was that of a colony on mars that locate and an ancient artifact that turns everyone into bloodthirsty zombie warriors. It was an instant cult classic complete with edgy music.
I read thru Paradise Violated several times to see several different version's and endings. I'm a typical female, so my favorite ending involved sex and death. I can't say that it was incredibly romantic, but it was certainly raw and pure animal lust and instinct.
The premise was that of a human general over his army scouting and unknown alien planet. His party captures a prisoner who has important information about the planet and a lost civilization. He is aided by his 2nd in command, an indoctrinator, and a sexy female alien that doesn't take any crap.
The locals are lizard people with base function intelligence. They are easily controlled and utilized to plunder for riches. However, they are maybe mentally slow but not necessarily docile.
The tale will take you to insanity; incompetence; a homeward bound journey in shame with a cover-up; and into a lover's eternal embrace. The spectrum of journeys was inviting and kept me going back to the beginning to try again.
In summary, it had sex, violence, and intrigue. In my opinion, key ingredients to make you want to turn the page and keep turning the page.
I intended to rate this as a 9. It may have gone thru wrong, but my intent was a 9. I considered 7 and 8, but I read thru it again and decided that nine was the best choice.
Thanks, End for a superb story yet again.
Oracle

Enlist now, they said. It'll be fun, they said. You'll make a difference for the empire they said.

See if you can make a difference in your empire without getting horribly murdered on an alien planet.

According to EndMaster's description of this story, "there is one ultimate 'winning' ending, but it isn't labeled as such."

I think I found that ending (along with a few other false endings along the way). And I'll admit the story ended with a bit more heart than I bargained for at the beginning.

The opening page of "Paradise Violated" had me thinking immediately of the movie Avatar, with an unsavory version of humanity occupying a jungle planet with a native population that is ambivalent about your presence. This story was published in 2007, and the movie came out late in 2009, so who knows? Maybe James Cameron is a lurker on CYS.

You are not immediately given much to do as the story opens, however; you, the reader, have to discover the spark that lights this story and sets the plot in motion several choices in. You'll probably deduce the correct path when you encounter the quick endings that educate you in the error of your ways and put you back on the proper path.

Basically, you need to interact with the other characters, and learn how to behave how the protagonist--a Captain serving in a brutal and materialistic Terran Empire--would behave. Acting as the moral human being you probably are in real life probably won't serve you too well on "Paradise." Instead, you need to be self-serving and ruthless; you need to see the other characters as resources who can serve you up to a point, but which should be eliminated after that point has been reached. And with the exception of just one of those secondary characters, sentimentality is not a factor worth considering--not if you want to succeed.

This is not a view of humanity in which I share, but it is nevertheless one that is productive fodder for storytelling. Therefore it was interesting as I stayed the course and the main character transformed into something unexpected.

Despite the introduction of a very talkative character introduced later in the story with a need to explain everything, I'm not sure I fully bought the transformation of the Captain from a soulless soldier to someone who might almost be mistaken for a mensch.

But this was a decent story, and hopefully a model to other would-be writers for how a story requires time for a plot to be developed.

A big favorite of ours. The best sci-fi story on the site. Caerbog truly does provide

I absolutely loved the gradual change to the protagonist, I think it was very efficient in causing empathy.

Paradise Violated isn't one of EndMaster's well-known stories or even best written, but this doesn't mean the quality is lacking. EndMaster has a true talent at building a believable cast of characters and a truly gripping world, whether that be the apocalyptic world of Ground Zero or The dark world of Enteral. Where there is also a massive authoritarian empire ready to genocide any enemies.

But back to the story, I played it originally when I first found it site and it quickly became one of my favorite Sci-Fi storygames on the site. Something about the world and characters really connected with me.
The soldier who believed in their empire then slowly began to discover it never truly cared for him or the billions of others who fight for it, The overzealous preacher who believes the empire shits gold and does no wrong, The lieutenant forced to squander his gifts at Administration and is instead put on the frontline as a result of his overbearing father, and more. All these characters are interesting and relatable, This helps bring a more personal investment into the story and the fates of these characters.

Something I found especially appealing about Paradice Violated is the race of the Xonts, the smalls pieces of information given out before the ruins were enough to spark an interest in their ancient empire.
Something I quite enjoyed about them was that their arrogance and paranoia were essentially their downfall which could be a metaphor for human behavior.
their attempt at gaining control of their rebellious slave races with a biological weapon to mind control them backfired and instead was the catalyst for their collapse, a bit ironic if you ask me.
Something I disliked was that some paths and endings felt rushed or not delved into deeply enough, but it does give the reader to make their own mind on what happens so maybe it is for the best.

Just to add, there were only a handful of typos I spotted and none of them really detracted from the story, so that is always a plus in my books.

Overall, It might not be the most notable story on the site, but you would be doing yourself an injustice by not reading it.

This was one of the best science fiction stories I’ve read on this site. Great job EndMaster!

Some things seemed kind of sudden but it was still jam packed with lore and interesting concepts. Also this was the only story if yours I read that didn't contain some kind of rape... Or maybe I just didn't find it yet.

I mf cried 9 times

Ice Elf :3

A little too monotonous for my liking.The choices were a little constricting.Rather than feeling like a Free to Explore like it is in such type of games, the choices were proposed as "Take it or Leave it".

5.5/8


Stalke Welsh Strikes Again

This deserves higher rating!

Every choice seems impactful, weighty and tricky. Entertaining, funny, and you can never quite get to grips with what makes the protagonist tick.

Wow, that was just, wow. That was an amazing story! The plots were great and I loved the paths you could take. I did notice a few mistakes, but who cares! I love your work, EndMaster!

I have read this story a couple times before, but this was my first read through in a couple of years. I remember why I reread it in the past now. It is one of the most underrated stories that I have read on the site. While the events of the story take place in a short amount of time, the decisions you make lead to a wide variety of endings, my favorite of which being the Be Reborn ending.
The story has a lot of content, but it is still short enough to read in an evening, and it would not bore me even when reading it is not spread out. It's definitely a story I will be recommending more now, especially to those who are just being introduced to CYS.
Now I cannot finish this review without mentioning one more thing...
YOU'LL NEVER LEARN THE SECRETS OF THE XONT!!!

p good, interesting story, love End, keep up the good work!

I was a little bit 'meh' about this story at first, even though I really enjoy the background information given out, and anything that explores different races, whether alien or fantastical, is generally viewed positively by me. However, the story grew on me, and by the time I ran into the hologram, I was quite enjoying myself.

WoW! Wasn't expecting to just leave the ancient structure and not finding anything in it other than research notes AND not reporting that to get a promotion from the Empire. Is that something my character would really do or something only the character you created would do? @_@

This story in particular didn’t catch my attention at first, as I was bent on reading the featured stories first. However, I ended up reading it some time ago, and while it is not the best or longest stories from Endmaster, it is definitely good and worth reading.

Characters:
I’ll start with the characters as I find them the most important think in a narrative story. Due to this story being shorter the characters are naturally not as fleshed out as in other, more epic stories like Eternal. However, they are fully developed and I personally love the style that went into their creations. They are somewhat archetypical (the inefficient, by the book lieutenant, the crazy fanatic “for the empire” priest, the stern and experienced sergeant, etc), while also being real and believable characters for themselves. This is the way I usually write my characters (or try to anyway), so it has a special appeal to me.

The characters from other factions are also well done, although they aren’t as developed as the members of your own team, which is understandable as they appear less in the story. The unique differences between each faction, while also archetypical, do work and give the sense of plausibility.

Other than that, I have to say that Indoctrinator Salo is probably one of my favourite Endmaster’s characters, along with perhaps Mel or Uncle Ed. This is of course personal preference, but it only helped to my enjoyment of this story.

Plot:
The plot can be summarized as follows: The protagonist is a scout for a human empire much like Warhammer 40000’s that is sent to a jungle planet called Paradise to explore it and try to find anything useful for said empire. This seemingly open plot unfolds into two full branches, one that deals with madness and older civilizations, the main and most interesting one, and another, shorter and simpler, that is about securing supplies.

While the plot does work and is pretty interesting, especially the main branch, I find that the thing I liked best about it and the story in general were the feelings it gives at certain points. It is hard to explain, but from the rugged military type tired of everything and just wanting everyone to shut up to the encroaching madness and all of its possible outcomes, combined with the atmosphere provided by this dense jungle planet with a wide array of creatures, hostile and otherwise, create a unique feel, or rather, a set of different, unique feels, that can be encountered throughout most of the story.

The ending is good as well, but unfortunately it doesn’t have that feel of the rest of the story, although that is what happens in every story when things are explained, so it is not a problem nor a fault from the author.

Consequence:
I define this parameter as the effective use of in-story rules. In all good fantasy and science fiction works there are well defined rules to the world and its characters that are kept at all times to give a sense of plausibility. In this case, it would be the major factions and the way they are described, the local wildlife and the members of the protagonist’s team. Needless to say, this is done without flaw as with all of Endmaster’s stories.

Writing, vocabulary and technical details:
This story is written in the typical Endmaster writing, that is, sarcastic and witty, close to the reader and precise and rich in its wording. I did however found this one a little bit more jerky than usual for some reason, but this does not deter from the enjoyment of this story.

As for typos, there are a few misspellings and repeated grammatical structures, but they don’t stand out too much and don’t suppose a problem in understanding. The creative use of commas Endmaster has, while being grammatically incorrect in some places, keeps the flow of the action and actually looks and feels good regardless, which is good as well as weird for a Grammar Nazi like me.

Conclusions:
While as I said this is not the best of Endmaster’s work, it is definitely an enjoyable story with good characters, an interesting plot and, most of all, a very intense feeling in some parts, sometimes of paranoia, sometimes of claustrophobia, some times of being sick with life, etc. All in all, another superb story from this author.

not bad wish we could have seen more alien life

I love that game. It's fairly different with all branches you can choose, its decently written and most of all it sucks you in and keeps you in character. I really like how ruling our character we can change his thoughts about Empire and himself.

Hell, I think I finally managed to complete this game after a lot of mishaps!

Well written only a few misspellings. Good story with a lot of mystery.

Definitely one of the better endings you can get.

NVM, i got the ending where *SPOLIERS* I and Alyssa married, is that the good ending?

Very good game, but i wonder if there was an epilogue.

Good story. That is until madness reduced the characters to savages.

I prefer there be epilogues at the end of stories.

It was amazing the story was very good

I became Satan incarnate. I regret nothing. 8/8 m8

Very enjoyable!

I only wish it were longer.BUt enjoyed if a lot thanks to the authors descriptions.

I played this game a long time ago but was never able to rate it, really nice game, I like the made up races and the references to Star Trek.

Wish the romance sub plot would have been expanded more, or some hints dropped at least.

I remember the scene where my character is in an elevator with my squad mate, descending into the unknown, into a place where they very well might both die.

Then, all of a sudden, he says
"[Name], if we don't make it, I just want you to know that-"
And is interrupted by my team mate responding with,
"Save it commander. I already know."
And then in the epilogue we get married. I kinda wish it wasn't all just crammed into the last 2 pages like that. I would have much more liked it to be something hinted at and explored throughout the length of the text.

Other than that, lovely piece of work! Wish there were more happy endings but eh, can't have everything.

great story!!!

EndMaster/ParadiseVoilated > Reese's Cups

Not very long

One of my favorite story games, from one of my favorite story game author. Well done.

It was a bit too short but that's my only complaint

Very good space game, Endmaster!

I really liked the game. very good, not as long as Necromancer or the others, but this is still awesome. 7/8

Damm good

Epic ending ovah here!

Another story well done^^

You disappoint, End! Death Song was so... better.

Yep it defenetly feels like a sequel to eternal... so i think one ending in eternal is canon...

Great story! Probably the best of EndMaster's stories after the top 5 (which are obviously Eternal, Necromancer, Death Song, Ground Zero and Innkeeper, roughly in descending order of rank).

Great plot and mystery with lots of branching options and endings. Many endings feel too rushed and inadequately explained, but it's still a great storygame.

I enjoy this game very much. Your world building skills are phenomenal, and any time I play one of your games, I am thrilled to see the amount of effort you put into creating a setting and characters. This game was no different. While I will admit your whole "play from the point of view of a servant of an evil empire" thing is getting to be a bit overdone, I do love how you always manage to come up with an original world and races to inhabit said world. As such, I give this game a 6/8.

Pretty good

It seemed good at first but then it just seemed lazy.

It was good. At least I didn't die.

Pretty sure this is the DOUBLE-SECRET MINISEQUEL to Eternal.

What a great title for such a good story.
7/8.

The endings seemed rushed (though not unrewarding. All i want to know is what was the deal with the Xont structure?) and the pacing was a bit off, but overall it was a very well written Sci-fi adventure.

Sequel, perhaps?

That was great! I replayed it several times for the full experience, but I just wish it was longer! Nice setting and characters, interesting story... Overall, a great story. Definitely in my top three!

This... Is... Great. XD

All rapped up nicelyy. Good story. Wish there were more sequels of these stories. Necro, mabie Eternal depending on which ending you went with, Geek, mabie and mabie love sick? Don't no what it would be about though, we already got 1 sick fucker who likes to kill stuff and fuck his sister. O, someone probably could find some continuation for that.

This kind of reminded me of Mass Effect. The endings seemed a little rushed, but altogether, I thought the story was great.
7/8

quite a nice story. i am amused that each one of endmaster's good endings (in various stories) generally involves the guy getting the girl ;)

Nice game, enjoyed the interactions you could have with all the other alien races...

nice story..

Excellent bit of SciFi

After finishing the story several times, I have some comments. Generally, it's quite well-done, but I think that endings are a bit rushed. Everything happens too fast, there is not enough time to "dig deeper". Also, some of the early choices end the game instantly and I cannot help but think that it's a bit premature. It was the same in Ground Zero - one wrong choice in the beginning and bam, the end. Let the story unfold a bit, whet the appetite. I know that early endings are not a big deal, because you can start over, but still, it's not good when stories end so soon, especially considering the fact that the early choices are often a lottery. Anyway, I think that you are a very good storyteller and I would love to see something more complex from you, with more than two possible options per segment :). Cheers.

the ways to die were absolutely hilarious. i like how even a wrong choice atleast branches out into some semblance of a story, not just forcing something to align back to the original one. a bit short though. probably could have made a series of this if the characters were better portrayed.

Well written, interesting and very detailed, as I've always seen from this author. Endmaster, you are an incredible writer, and I would pay to read your stories, cyoa-style or not!!

It kicks ass but its not thr best

The story is good, character's have their own stories. The author keeps feeding the reader with background stories and informations. But it is too short and does not gives much choices in game.

NIce game also you have some insperation from apocalpyse now kurtz and kruz loved it nice work

quite a nice adventure eh?

yay?

nice game, really want more games like this

Great writing and story

yeah

pretty good.

Please make more in this universe I wanna see more sexy Ice Elves!

:)
Great

good.

i loved it, i found the best ending!!^_^

FINALLY! it took forever to find the best ending. Awesome game, though.

That was fun. I think I got the best ending possible.

Not bad, not bad. I'm going to play it through a few times to ensure I milked it for all it's worth. Quality writing.

Bo approves

I'm still not sure what I think, on one hand it was a good story but on the other hand it just didn't feel right.

This game has a great story, but you need to undo a lot of actions to get it...

Awsome ending

Just... fucking... amazing. It is a beautiful story in its own right. I am simply unable to form the sentences needed to explain how marvelous this story is. The best part, however, is that I haven't even found the 'true' ending yet.

great storyline, decent ending. Definitely worth a replay.

It was fun! I like the story and I like how it is written :)

Ha ha, yeah that particular branch was intentional.

Shit, this all reminded me SO much of Apocalypse Now even before I found the military commander called "Kruz."

I disagree with Minarchist, this is one of your better stories.

i won and it only took me like 3 trys

Great job! Must have taken you a long time :) It was worth it though.

A very well written story if I do say so myself. A good premise, likeable characters, and enough twist and turns that kept me playing until I found just about every possible ending (I think) Having found what I think is the "ultimate" ending, an all around good story.

Not as good as some of your other stories, but certainly a good way to pass an afternoon!

Took me about seven tries to get some of the 'epic' endings, the whole story being one big rollercoaster of an adventure, love it, really do.

For anyone who's gonna try this or already has, don't be discouraged by quick deaths, keep on going and you'll get some memorable moments =D

Wow! This is a first-rate game! The concept and style of gameplay was innovative, the writing was really good and, altogether, it was a superb story! This is the first MAG.com game in a long time that I find to be truly, 100% sequel-worthy! Congratulations!

Another great story, and nice and long too. Awesome job, man. I do love the dual-releases.

Why must you always release two epic games at a time?
Ground Zero & Necromancer
Geek & Paradise Violated.
It always makes one of them look bad. In this case its this one. Great story but not up to par with your others.

Pretty good, but not as good as your other stories. Even so I'll give it an 8 out of 8

HOLY SHUCKING FIT!!!!!!! I love you so much for posting this here, This is my favriote of all your games and I grovel at your feet, I love that you have a little info page it creats some great back story, The many outcomes that can happion are awesome and this is one of the few story games were I felt like my choucis truly have some improtince that resonat throughout the game, plus I forgot how fucking funny this was there was some great satire, Overall great game you are the fucking master.

there were many times where there were 2 choices then a background link and the first choice was the only one that would go further into the story. but it was a great read yet again.

woot! golden age!