I'm a girl. All of my boners are weird. ^_^

Eternal

FUCK YOU AND YOUR STORY BITHC FUCK EVERYTHING

-- Dylan Zimmerman on 2/4/2019 4:40:58 PM with a score of 0

Love SICK

Is it even legal to read or especially write something like this? I'm not offended, I'm just not okay with this. You couldn't do ghosts, or zombies, or literally anything else?

1/10. This is too messed up for me.

-- What the.. f*ck? on 2/16/2019 8:05:08 PM

Sounds like she was offended.

My introduction to the Internet was looking up what oral sex was.  So, no.  

From: PromiscuousHedgehog
To: EndMaster
Date: 2/17/2019 10:45:16 PM

Everyone on this site hates your storygames. and I'm sure they would kill you if they had the chance.

Lol.

If that's true, it's only because you make us all look like the scum we are in comparison.  

Dead Man Walking

this book was trash can autsim

-- crater on 2/19/2019 11:11:57 AM with a score of 4460

Always a bit surprising when Berka gets a flat out negative comment. At worst he usually gets a generally praising comment that bitches about his story being sexist.

I think that he is referencing the 1993 novel by Helen Prejean.

I do not think I was the first to notice this. but as this has not been posted on either this or the previous Interesting Comments, I should immortalize it. 

On Solstice by WIBN.

You got a nom on the nomnom scale. Your writing is good, and after reading your story it just kind of made me sad and reflex on my own life. The only spelling error i found was that you wrote hare, instead of here? Keep up the good work! Oh to find out the full description of the nomnom scale, look at my profile if you're curious.
Conversion Chart:
yuk!=0-1 stars
eh!=1-1.9 stars
meh...=2-2.9 stars
nom=3-3.9 stars
nomnom=4-4.9 stars
nomnomnom!=5-6 stars

-- Cake_Oi on 1/29/2019 9:56:02 PM with a score of 280

Some reflexing on my life may do me some good some time.  Perhaps I will read this soon.

I would've gone with:

1 star: Nom

2 stars: Glomp

3 stars: OwO

4 stars: Yiff

5 stars: Ryder

... Genius!!! Gather round, girls. The bald, pieced, scary bitch with freaky face tattoos is going to teach you all to be prozzies! ^_^

Costs extra if you want her to use the whip. ^_^

What is even the point otherwise?  

One lost and one more to go

Great game! It's really sad that the trolls on this site are mass voting 1's and insulting your story, though. I recommend coming to https://www.choiceofgames.com/ instead. I admin there and it's a very friendly to all races, genders, and ages! We'd be extremely happy to have you.

-- Jason Hill on 3/28/2019 8:30:08 PM

Nah, he's totally not that dude with Stevan as a middle name or something. 

See you later. *puts on groucho glasses, becoming instantly unrecognizable*

Eternal

"Choose your story". Why did the game force me to fuck some nasty brown elf slut?

-- V on 4/5/2019 7:47:57 AM with a score of 0

Wow, way to be racist. Lol.

I like this one.  

Order of the Midnight Sun

This is the best endmaster story I have ever read. The maze is hard but use the Page number on top to gain refernce

--Diejuden on 4/10/2019 10:05:05 PM with a score of 4949

Lol.

... Well obviously it's not you. The M is capitalized 

On Price of Freedom: Innocence Lost

I still want to escape and make a empire in Zeru’s home village to compete with Rome while recruiting Lulu’s brothers. Then conquer all the way up to the main character’s home town and see if their father is still alive(while getting the option to forgive him or own him as a slave, just to add more sentimental choices along the way)

-- ChooseYourStuff on 4/13/2019 8:42:32 PM with a score of 0

That'd be cool, Briar.  Which installment are you going to do this in, Briar? 

Probably the same installment where you have the option to completely overthrow the Roman Empire and become the new Caesar... After you've tamed the elephant, of course. ^_^

Ah crap, there's going to be creepy Andreas x Alexius fanfics now, aren't there? >.<

There already are, I'm sure.  Caecilia gets killed off after trying to ruin their love, of course.  That bitch.

Found this gem on Crescentstar's Three Hundred Thousand Tears:

this was soooooooooooooo off track!!some parts of The storyline made no sense!!I thought this would be 1 of the sad stories,NOPE I thought wrong apparently!!!!THIS IS A NONSENSE STORYLINE!!like 5 pages u can only do 1 thing,come on!!! 

LONG STORY SHORT,THIS GAME SUCKS!! 1/10 (p.s. the 1 is 4 the time and effort u put into this) 

-- mad gamer on 2/19/2018 10:41:02 AM with a score of 0

At least his ability to create half-coherent sentences surpasses FANG's.

I haven't watched any anime until the past week, and I have occasionally visited CYS while I was inactive to browse the featured games list and read the News. I'm glad you think positively of Three Hundred Thousand Tears. :D

Popping My Cherry

Made me very hard 11/10 please make more. Mike Wazoski was very hot

-- Nick Gurr on 4/23/2019 3:16:41 PM

Grief

Please add a little bit of unzipping pants and lotion. I am very lonely and would like this added for my pleasure.

-- Nick Gurr on 4/23/2019 3:06:23 PM

Rainy mood

The ending was getting somewhere, but it should have gone further. I would have liked for something hard and long.

-- Nick Gurr on 4/23/2019 3:09:33 PM

Any reasone?

This was a great fap 10/10

-- Nick Gurr on 4/23/2019 3:12:00 PM

I don't think he cares that this isn't that kind of site.

Love SICK

Now THIS is more like it!

-- Nick Gurr on 4/23/2019 3:24:00 PM

Disappointed to see that this was not in fact a real comment.

Well, if he did read it, I'm used he'd be very pleased with the levels of fapability ^_^

ummm? lol

On The Price of Freedom: Innocence Lost

Hey I was told this was a CHILD MURDER SIM and was very eager to MURDER A CHILD so that I could have a hysterical meltdown about it on an internet forum and threaten to report the author to the FBI...but then when I played it I was very disappointed to find there was an option to just knock the CHILD I wanted to MURDER unconscious instead??? wtf

Ugh now I'm disappointed, freaking out about CHILD MURDER is just never quite the same when it's only possible to MURDER A CHILD by deliberate choice. 1/8, why did I even read this, well anyway off to rub more sand in my vagina and virtue signal at a flock of seagulls on the horizon I suppose, bye.
-- Cantaloupe Nun on 4/26/2019 4:13:21 PM with a score of 100000

I heartily agree.

LMAO! This makes me very happy... Will probably be making a thread about that strange forum meltdown soon. 

Dead Man Walking

Would be nice if the female characters were allowed to do more than get hysterical/be assaulted/look after the children but here we are in 1951 I guess

-- Camenite on 4/28/2019 2:10:35 PM with a score of 31877

No interesting comments, I'm afraid, but a very interesting profile page! ^_^

Welsh:

Hey.You took an interest in me/my game? Well, I got nothing much to tell about myself.

I’m 16.Depressed and Suicidal.(Ah Shit.Here We Go Again).Yeah,yeah I know,it’s not something new but I’ve been this way from as long as I can remember.I’ve felt no other emotions other than pain and rage.I keep on existing and droning on as I don’t wanna just blip off like a sad sack of shit.Growing up in Asia or India for that matter puts quite a lot of pressure on success and taking care of your family.Frankly I couldn’t care less about both of those things.In the long run neither will matter as you will return to dust.That led me to have a single goal that makes me wake up in the morning.To have as much as fun possible and pay back the money that my parents have invested on me times 3.They deserve the profit.

I think that I’ve a good amount of intellect.(That sounds like a self jerkoff I know).But the way I’ve seen things come by in my life like Olympiad medals , Problem solving skills, Many online iq tests(I dunno if they are reliable at all considering one showing it to be 130-140 and the other showing 120<).I am generally passive and uncaring at all as , Dude ,you’ve got one life and one only (Seriously,reincarnation and afterlife is major bullshit but I don’t judge).Why waste it worrying on infinitismall problems.Honestly the next part is gonna sound like a huge jerkoff.Its pretty hard living with normal people,relating with normal people,and having fun with them.So mostly I try to escape this reality by reading CYOA,Gaming and Anime(Wow,he’s a weeaboo.Boom,his opinions don’t matter)

If you come to my high school for instance , you’d see that I was a lazy joker by my peers,A boy with a lot of potential but fails to utilise it.The latter part always being brought up during results(of examinations).I’d always score just a few (3-7) marks to the toppers and my peers know that I hardly put in effort.This led to an egoistical gap between me and my friends.

I’ve always had an interest in tragedy like Franz Kafka’s Metamorphosis and Tokyo Ghoul(Anime and manga).If I find anything interesting and not too monotonous to complete I go for it.

Reader: Why are you writing all of this here? Ans:I wanted to sum up my existence as a whole.

Youch! I just cut my finger on all that edge. 

Lol yeah we were already laughing about it in the Discord.

Awh, I found another one!

Binladen:

All of you think you know me but you don't know me. Also a lot of you think I'm the same Bin Laden who controls the Taliban, well I am.
However I just want you to know that I am not evil it is you who are evil. So you can live in peace or live in pieces, but please I digress I love making adventure games like everyone else. Allah is on my side because as you can tell by now my games are superior to any one elses.

... Glad to know he survived and found a more creative outlet for his anger. ^_^

Omg, lol. How did I miss this on discord?!

You're like, crazy...
-- Dilatory on 5/10/2019 10:30:14 PM with a score of 0

Comment on Ogre's masterpiece in educational erotica, Boobs!!!.

Boobs!!! has some good ones. ^_^

I laughed, I cried, I clicked through it in about twelve seconds without reading anything to get my free point.
-- mizal on 5/4/2019 2:44:48 PM with a score of 0

I laughed so hard I cried. I’ve taken up beekeeping now. Bees are my passion. And my life. And my love.
-- At_Your_Throat on 5/4/2019 3:19:12 PM with a score of 0

This story is a true masterpiece. I now know so much more about bees and boobs than I could ever have dreamed. And yes, I fapped.
-- RealKuriosIasoun on 5/4/2019 6:38:33 PM with a score of 0

best game ever m8 i r8 8/8 m8 no h8 m8
-- Chris113022 on 5/5/2019 6:16:17 PM with a score of 0

Orge is a tranny CONFIRMED.
-- WouldntItBeNice on 5/6/2019 9:10:24 PM with a score of 0

This one's a fun little mystery:

The Price of Freedom: Innocence Lost

Pqp eu falici bacana mano 
Fui mto besta tbm, nenhum pouco diferente da vida real ;-;
-- EmmeOrpheus on 5/14/2019 12:49:43 PM with a score of 0

... Translation:

Bitch that gave birth, I died nigga!
I've been a mta beast too, no different from real life.

Awh. I liked the version with nigga better. 

This was one of the funniest things I've read in a long time.

As a former mta beast myself, I can confirm that my in game experience was no different than what I experienced in real life.

I'm really baffled that they translated "mto" to "mta"... But meh, google translate is weird. 

"mano"

bro

"Fui mto besta tbm"

I've been really bad/stupid, too.

Okay, so it looks like a more accurate translation would be; "Fucking hell, I died bro! I was stupid, no different from real life."

... Shame. The comment's not funny now that it makes sense. 

Oh I saw it, I just didn’t find it very inspired and I figured it might just be Spadie or someone similar pissed at me as usual.

I sure hope so.

Why do you assume it was someone you banned? Is it not possible that somebody just thinks your game is gay nerdy shit? 

I didn't ban Excelsheet, and I'm guessing you missed the incident that occurred in the discord.

He was some French Canadian CoGite that got pissy with Mizal then he got pissy with me.

Here: http://chooseyourstory.com/forums/the-lounge/message/25274

I always find it funny how people get SO offended that someone would dare suggest that they write something for a writing community. 

why did i just read all of this

But I can't

No, I can find them if I want to XD

But I may not want to after seeing this

On "Sir Osis"

Nice game!
I wanted a storm of crickets that attacked him though... wait, what?
-- BgirlStories on 5/18/2019 8:16:27 PM

A storm of crickets is always a good idea.

Were you possessing her at the time? 

Well, EndMaster did adopt you... Perhaps he saw the potential for eeeeeevil! 

Mwahaha ^_^

Because, obviously, that story was billing itself as the universal experience of all single mothers everywhere.

This reminds me of a comment that was passed to me years ago when I was heading a volunteer program called "Adopt a Wildland." After a brief write-up appeared in a regional magazine highlighting this and other volunteer stewardship opportunities, someone wrote a letter to the editor objecting to the use of the word "adopt," stating that it trivialized the process of adopting a child. Because apparently this guy had recently gone through that process, and he needed to let us know.

Suffice it to say, I didn't feel the need to respond. But it highlighted to me the point that no matter what anyone might say or do, there is someone out there who will find offense in it.

People just don't understand how hard it is! I mean you give this kid your heart and soul, and then the floozy just goes screwing around with some five year old fuck-boi who seduces her with soda pops, then the next thing you know, they've buggered off on a road trip together! Some times you just gotta choke a bitch! >.<

I know the term "fuck boy" has a mildly different meaning now and it just means some dude that some girl uses to fuck, but I'm sorry whenever I hear the term I'm always going to associate it with some sort of prison bitch terminology.

On Love SICK. Mostly amused because of the censoring of fuck (suck?).

What the $uck!? End's mind's is truly twisted. Which is pretty awesome! Okay, I was led to believe this was a love story. I guess it was, but to me it was more about mental illness and maybe some inbreeding. Bravo. I am very disgusted. It takes alot to accomplish that. I respect that quality in a person.
-- oraclemache on 5/25/2019 3:45:44 PM

Oh god, Oracle ended up reading Love SICK. I warned her not to!

She rated it a 6 which is only 1 point lower than your own rating. I'm not surprised she didn't mind it though.

I actually thought it was incredibly twisted and a sign of a deeply disturbed mind.  I am obviously referencing love sick and it's infamous author End Master.  I was incredibly repulsed by the gore, and obvious dark kinks. I was only disappointed in the length. However in retrospect, one can only be killed so many times. You kill them to death once usually.  From that perspective, End did what he could with the material and characters.  I would have maybe thrown in a Jehovah witness our two.  My uncle is a witness, and he is a hypocrite. So it would have been personally satisfying. 

The reason I rated the 6 was because of the length. I enjoyed it so much, I wanted more! I really was deeply offended, and that is awesome! I am aware I repeat myself. Oracle the Repeater and great mouth of bad grammer, and spelling, and run on sentences. 

whistle click 

oracle

I do not cuss dammit. I had to sensor $uck for the youth of the site. I don't understand why we all have to have a potty mouth and fucking cuss all the time dammit! :) 

yeah, I am lame. your right.

Darthvader_13's Dead End

Seth says MEH! I got all 10 missions done easily.

-- SethIsBeast on 11/3/2012 7:17:52 PM with a score of 120

EndMaster's Death Song

wow the lich king doesn't even bury you....ashole

-- Shades on 3/5/2016 4:08:27 PM

Dead Man Walking

Too long and quite boring the choices are unoriginal and not much fun, writing ain't great either
-- Skeltro105 on 5/23/2019 10:50:03 AM with a score of 2260

One bad story all togather the writing is AWFUL i hope this story is buried under ratings of 1
-- keelbud on 5/28/2019 10:24:29 AM with a score of 1060

Unusual to see Berka’s story get negative comments so close together.

Dead Man Walking is almost as shitty as Eternal. Those games will never like up to masterpieces like Boobs!!!

EndMaster's Imagination

i love roblox then reading :} :) :> :]

-- geust 666 on 8/17/2018 11:45:09 AM

Paradise Violated

Some things seemed kind of sudden but it was still jam packed with lore and interesting concepts. Also this was the only story if yours I read that didn't contain some kind of rape... Or maybe I just didn't find it yet. -- LoudbutSilent on 5/29/2019 9:33:19 AM

I think there's a bit implied when you get the ending where your whole team devolves into primitives. At the very least you're taking your rival's woman as a reward after you kill him.

Plus blue skinned alien girl violently fucks you TO DEATH which is sort of rapey on her part, but you thought she was some goddess that was giving you another reward, so it balances out I guess.

your the worst writer and it was too long it took me 100 years to finish this story

-- jacklevop liuyt

There are a lot of things that I can type, but I won’t do it because I’m not that mean. yes I am

I saw these posted on a new game today and was absolutely tickled. I highlighted my favorite. Their comments on their own game is more entertaining than the game itself.

Spanish in South America

a School-Based by S1714811, S1705355, and s1951340

Player Comments

It was pretty good, and probably one of the most interesting here.

-- S1714811 on 4/30/2019 3:17:31 PM with a score of 0

It was too short and too much reading. Overall, it was a very good presntation.

-- S1714811 on 4/30/2019 3:15:08 PM with a score of 0

It was interesting to choose where to go and make your own choices. It was told in someone's point of view that made it fun.

-- S1714811 on 4/30/2019 3:09:13 PM with a score of 0

It was good, it just needed some more info about the topic

-- S1714811 on 4/30/2019 3:05:21 PM with a score of 0

It was a very clever idea.??

-- S1714811 on 4/30/2019 3:02:09 PM with a score of 0

Didnt understand s

-- S1714811 on 4/30/2019 2:56:26 PM with a score of 0

Creative!

-- S1705355 on 4/30/2019 2:05:19 PM with a score of 0

yes

-- S1714811 on 4/30/2019 2:04:35 PM with a score of 0

Weird that the guy left bad reviews on his own game... Wondering if maybe he got some of his friends to review it, but stayed logged into his own account while they played it? 

Obviously, they needed a month to craft a masterpiece...

I decided to increase the hilarity by deleting the story and banning all three of them.

F in the chat

They will be missed

Well now their teacher's going to have to come in and give you a very stern talking to. 

I sure hope so, it was equally amusing the last time a teacher got pissed with me.

It's nice to feel appreciated! Now, if people would only read & rate Giri Minor, as the last review was from 5/22...

(...and with much appreciation for those who have already done so!)

I've been told many times I'm a difficult person.

Challenge accepted. We should be equally matched, as I am not overly fond (as you say) of the fantasy genre.

I am a sucker for a good story in the "Cave of Time" format, though.

Eternal

Got as far as the "mistress" stuff. Tried to get through it. Got to the "fight" scene. What the damn hell.

-- Heather on 6/11/2019 4:33:48 PM with a score of 0

Lol

Necromancer

Among the best games of the century and possibly other centuries as well, Necromancer should be mandatory reading for posting on the forums. When you are don reading it, go read Death Song. Dreggnion can suck a dick, because this is great stuff.

-- WWS on 6/12/2019 3:19:00 AM

Just posting this one here so I can ask, who the hell is Dreggnion? I looked for the name under the user search and I looked to see if there was a driveby guest that commented under that name, but I didn't find anything.

I also thought I saw this name mentioned in the Discord when I was scanning through it a day or so ago.

It is. Or, at least, I thought it was? Is somebody else using that name?

I just saw a driveby guest using it for the Speedrunning story.

1/8 NOT ENOUGH MEAT

-- Dreggnion on 6/12/2019 3:23:09 AM with a score of 4

Somebody in the discord must be playing tricks, unless I've mentioned Dreggnion here. That is his gimmick, but unless I got drunk and started rating random stories with voices in my head I think I would remember this

Wait! We don't have to do anything drastic!... Maybe I just have some sort of weird spiderbot following me whenever I read something that reviews storygames using phrases that I type a lot? We should really check to make sure nobody brought in any adware. Maybe Bo infected us again.

If it's not considered improper to self-nominate on this thread, this excerpt from a review I wrote for "Will of the Lord" by @ShoujoAddict the other night still tickles me. Basically, I was defending his use of dialog against another review that said something to the effect that dialog should be brief and serve only to advance the plot.

If that comment were true, then the entire novel "A Farewell to Arms" could be reduced to six lines, as follows:

Him: "Hey nurse, you want to have sex?"

Her: "Yeah, sure, that sounds like fun. Not like there's anything else to do in a hospital."

Him: "You know what? War sucks. Let's row a boat to Switzerland in the middle of the night."

Her: "I'm pregnant."

Her: "Scratch that. I'm dying."

Him: "Bummer."

Never read Farewell to Arms before, but... Got to say this abridged version was a thing of beauty... The sheer tragedy of it... I think I'm welling up a bit. 

On Tales From the Basement

That anime part was accurate. Great now I'm feeling depressed. I think I'm gonna go dunk my face in a toilet or something... -- ShoujoAddict on 10/23/2018 8:41:16 AM

Lol, took a year to find its way in this thread. Mission accomplished!

But wait, there's more!

Z-29 wasn't so butthurt about the response to the first story that he was discouraged from publishing a second masterpiece. Even better, this one's a demo! Behold, I present to you:

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/mercy-(demo)

I wish I could have pooped on this story and bit the author

--  RealKuriosIasoun on 7/29/2019 4:05:05 PM

This one made me laugh. But I'm a little grossed out. 

This was unpublished for low ratings, please try again to meet minimum site standards with a new, different story. If this gets published again it will be Old Yellared behind a barn,

-- mizal on 7/30/2019 8:55:29 PM

There you go again with your old person references...

Knowing that that the Old Yeller outcome is a foregone conclusion, please do make it a public execution for the illumination and entertainment of us all.

I’m kinda scared now.

No need to be scared--just write an intelligent story. If anybody here cared about the random shit that occurred in some teenaged brain, we could go to Reddit or something.

Just remember, the Internet is not your mother. We're not here to tell you you're awesome and that your story is wonderful, no matter how much it sucks.

If you want praise, get to work and earn it. If you want your ego stroked, go somewhere else.

On my story Edithe Zilonis:

needs more of her name. I didn't realise her name was Edithe Zilonis until the end. was not clear enough. thank u

-- Edithe Zilonis on 8/3/2019 8:34:17 AM with a score of 0

I think also the same person who rated her own story a two. I guess I'll have to be more clear next time :~(

The Manliest of Man

Nah, this is crap. Give this story a 1 rating and hope it dies a silent death. It's not even worth a detailed review.

-- Bill_Ingersoll on 8/19/2019 11:28:01 PM with a score of 0

No, on second thought, I will review this.

This story is the type of shit that comes out of a pubescent mind... from the type of person who thinks his own jokes are funny. But more importantly, this is how Serpent wants to see himself. Remember all those duel attempts in the forum recently, where Serpent spent an entire day challenging a bunch of nobodies to make himself look better by comparison? So here he with a story where he fancies himself dressing up like EndMaster, walking into town, and winning a duel with the "sharif". Next he rapes the body, and then deputy... and I'll leave it to your imagination which mod he's fantasizing about there.

This is a "story" that's about six feet deep in an eighth grader's sexual fantasies, and completely devoid of quality.

-- Bill_Ingersoll on 8/19/2019 11:39:02 PM with a score of 0

Lol.

I had a hunch you would like that.

Nevertheless, that is my honest assessment of Serpent's story.

I will agree that that story is a steaming pile of shit. Though I don't understand why you think that this has anything to do with the mods. In any case I can say for sure that the thought of it being interpreted like that never crossed my mind. 

The opening line in the story was about the guy walking in dressed in a big black robe, and the very first thing I thought (literally 5 seconds into the story) was, "Oh, this is EndMaster." And then all the rapefests occurred. It wasn't hard to connect the dots... and an eighth grader is not a hard nut to crack.

There's no need to deny your fantasies. You've laid them bare for us all to see and have a good laugh at.

That is not true at all. This started out as a story about someone being a edgy overpowered badass. Hence the name and robe. Though due to deadlines and poor planning that was not the end product.

A total of 12 stories were submitted for this same contest, one of them with 33,000 words and an actual plot! It took me 4 or 5 hours to read it. I've read several high-quality stories so far, and everyone faced the same deadline you did. Therefore your argument holds no water with me.

Granted, it's an interpretation... but it really is the one I came away with. It fit the pattern of his forum behavior.

Now, is it true? Damned if I know. But think about the age we're dealing with here; fantasies can manifest themselves without the writer trying very hard. After all, Serpent himself admits he intended to do something more worthy of praise, but this is what he felt compelled to give us. What he wanted to do didn't inspire him to write, but some other idea did. 

I was hoping to provoke a few responses from Serpent about it, since we no longer have the story itself, but I guess that train has left the station...

Wait I posted the same thing twice. Ignore this comment

The Manliest Man

This is gay.

No, that's not enough. Rather, it is SUPER FUCKING GAY. So gay it makes Malk seem straight.

And just to make it clear, it's not the good kind of gay, or the neutral kind, or even the bad kind of gay. No, it's the kind of horrific gay that everyone would hate; all the way from SJWs to the alt right faggots.

The only nice thing I can say about this story is that it made people stab their eyes out. But I'm the only person who could see some good in that.

You've ruined my vacation. Fuck you. 1/8

-- Mayana on 8/20/2019 7:25:07 AM with a score of 0

The final fuck you in particular was very funny for some reason.

Why, this review is shameful! ... There should be a comma after every "very"

In the schizophrenic review category:

Battlefield Commander: Ancient Warfare

this story was kind of short and and boring but i really truley like it it was the best story ive ever readed i give it a 10 out of 10 definetly read it it was awesome will you consider reading it please!

-- jocelynne on 9/6/2019 9:47:39 AM with a score of 720

This, folks, is scientific proof that boring stories are awesome. We should write more of them!

Sorry, I missed that point as I was too busy convulsing over the amount of double words. >.<

I played it a year or two ago then i played it again here recently. It's one of my favorite story's on her right along side with most of Endmaster's stories

kinda too long to read
Dead Man Walking (Zombie Survival)
sylvieallain19 (Score of 1260)
9/24/2019 2:06:59 PM

I wonder if I could write a game that had no more than 16 words per route and still make it interesting and vivid.

...

I think I'm going to do this.

You say that, but I think the truth was spoken first time around.  If I go over 16, I'll lose probably 90% of my audience, and we can't have that.

Will there be pictures? ^_^

No, those would count as 1000 words each.  So I can't.

Eternal

Your writing style is very impressive and your ability to create intricate storylines is amazing. my favorite part is the one with the thumb thumbs and how they were so easily defeated by the MC(maincharacetr) I am peeing all over my

-- Sani C on 9/25/2019 6:00:12 AM with a score of 0

Never mind that I have no idea what he’s referring to with “thumb thumbs” but now we’ll never know what he was peeing on!

Kelly Unicornstrider

THE PAGE DON'T LET ME PUT MY REVIEW

This is my favorite review.

Someone should really fix that page. ^_^

I blame the thumb thumbs.

It's not the thumb thumbs fault that Sani C treated them like a 14 year old at an R Kelly concert.

A Private Game For Natalie

Gower, how many times do I have to tell you? I am NOT your fucking girlfriend! I tried being nice to you in college because I felt sorry for you and spent the rest of my life regretting it. All you did was tell me that everything I liked was stupid and try to get me to play your nerdy little computer games. I hate computer games, I’m not interested in those creepy true-crime documentaries, and I don’t want to join your little Magic the Gathering club!

Besides, we haven’t even been friends in like 20 years! I blocked you on everything after you started telling everyone that we were dating, even though you knew I was going out with Quinn. Then you just turned into a full blown crazy stalker! You know, me and my friends used to get together and laugh at all that shitty poetry you wrote me, and then burn them after we were done. I’m not your soul-mate Gower. I don’t even like you! I thought I made that VERY clear at Darren’s party after the little incident with the toenail in the birthday cake.

And what the hell is this shit about you love me when I’m asleep and you love watching me eat breakfast? You know the terms of the restraining order! You’re not allowed within fifty feet of me or my house. I’m going to be showing this game to the cops, so expect a visit from them soon.

Now, for the love of God, will you please leave me alone? I’m happy. I’m married. I have three beautiful kids and I don’t want anything to do with you. Never contact me again.

-- Natalie on 9/25/2019 9:55:02 AM with a score of 2

This is like the best comment ever.

... Tehehe ^_^

I know.  There was like one second where I paused and tried to remember what reality I was in.

Wait, you didn't write it? Interesting. . .

checks logs

Interesting. . .

... Tehehehehe ^_^

... ... ... Tehehehehehehe?

No Ma'am. :(

Maybe if she had scored higher than a 2, she'd be willing to lift the restraining order...?

The plot thickens! ^_^

Natalie, please, don't be like that. It's one thing that I messed up and published the game, but it's another thing to say those lies about me in the comments.

We told me once that you loved me, and that you're scared of everything. That you are scared of what you saw, of what you did, of who you are, and that most of all, you were scared of walking out of this room and never feeling the rest of your whole life the way you feel when you're with me. Now, I don't what you're going to say, that you *said* those things in character during our freshman year performance of Dirty Dancing, where you were playing Baby, and I was doing sound and lighting, but you looked kind of up towards me when you said it. I knew you meant it to me.

It's just harsh to say that stuff so openly in the comments. People are going to see it and judge me, and I've tried hard to cultivate an aura of a nice guy. There's no such thing as getting too close to someone when you love them, and to me, that includes restraining orders.

And I respect your relationship with Quinn, honestly, I do. It's like the two women I love the most together, and you're both so happy, and when you love people all you want is for them to be happy. I just want to make sure you both are is all. Nobody knows how you like to be touched better than me, certainly not Quinn, granted it's hard to tell the specifics from a distance, especially after Quinn watched that thing about how you're supposed to put a little piece of tape over your webcam. But that's all just minor matters.

The important thing, Natalie, is 20 years. Twenty years! You can't throw that away. We used to sit around and relax in the dorm and watch old reruns of Kelly Unicornstrider and Friends, and laugh and eat popcorn together. We didn't let what other people said affect us. The world melted away, and only we existed.

So please, please take this crazy idea that I'm harassing you off the forum, unblock me, respond to me. I'm right here. And we'll *be* here, together in this comment list, forever, after we're dead, after this world is dead, and all that's left is some old server humming, our names will be near each other, and the electrons that represent me will love the electrons that represent you, and my electrons will cross into your atoms and I will be part of you again, although some weird extra-electron molecule that will probably fry the server, but still, my Natalie, even so.

-- Gower on 9/25/2019 4:43:20 PM with a score of 0

Nice touch making Quinn female.

Now that he’s harassing a lesbian couple, he really looks like some nice guy full of toxic masculinity on the brink of full blown inceldom.

Yeah, now I'm kind of confused about Quinn. There was a non-clickable option that implied that Natalie had "experience" with Quinn, but if you explore around the other paths, it mentions that Natalie was jealous of Quinn because she was sending love letters to Gower... This is a fascinating little triangle going on here. ^_^

There are three "non-clickable" links in the game, which you can only get to if you choose the initial "checking you out" path at the start.

The Floyd path opens if Natalie was into the narrator checking her out; the Quinn path opens up if Natalie was; the Cassie path opens up for either way.

Those three paths have the most ridiculous stories, I think.

I gated them that way because I wanted Natalie to have some small agency over whether she wanted some sex stories told to her.

And now I must play the game again! ^_^

Edit: Wow! This little love triangle only gets more and more complicated. Turns out it wasn't Natalie that had a thing with Quinn, it was Gower! (Which was confusing because the choice was phrased as "The only real experience I'd had was with Quinn, I guess." When in all of the other choices, "I" refers to Natalie and "You" refers to Gower... Minus points for lack of consistency!)

But if you unlock the Quinn choice and follow it... Turns out the bitch is dead! So... I guess Natalie ended up marrying and having three kids with her creepy stalker's ex-girlfriend lesbian ghost? ... Good for her. ^_^

Hm, you're right.  That should be "you."  Ah well.

Clearly Quinn escaped from that fire, fueled wholly by her desire for Natalie and sought her out years later.  It's very romantic!

And used the combined might of their vaginas to make three beautiful babies. ^_^

They are adopted, obviously, and also by a weird coincidence, "The Combined Might of their Vaginas" is the name of my next game.  It's historical fiction.

Is that the one that's only going to be 16 words long, for mizal's sake? Sounds epic.

Sorry, I stopped reading after your sixteenth word, so I don't know how it sounds.

Gower already posted this over in Risk My Attention, but I figured it belonged here too. ^_^

Forgotten Magician by Piyarad

>Be then about 17 years old.

>friends and family annouce me as 'Fat Bastard'.

>I don't apreciate that nickname. However, for sharts and gargles I laugh too, all the times.

>Jokes evolve and become more damaging to me. "He is unnatractive because of eexagerated proportions". "He cannot stroke his own penis". "He is a truck loaded with shit and failed dreams".

>continue to laugh with them, being a beta version male that i be.

>new years eve.

>some maiden in our home made turkey. a bird we eat here.

>because of various foods, the people at my lair didn't eight the totality of the bird.

>the folowing morning, some mayonnaise was trown in the turkey.

>friends and family joke that I, being the Fat Bastard that I am, Had Sex with the turkey, and thus, the mayonnaise was evidence that I had ejaculated strongly.

>I, once again, jester "It was not me. She was not even my type".

>audience laughs.

>contemplate self termination at a later hour.

-- Anonymous on 10/5/2019 2:33:11 PM with a score of 0

Hank's Journey

Outcome 3 is horrible. Rape isn't funny.

-- Sam42 on 10/13/2019 4:39:29 PM with a score of 0

How did this guy get past the front door of this place?

They did a wonderful job I am using in the rewrite of my story. So they didn't waste their time, but to actually rewrite you have to erase and polish.  As the forum don't let edit published games

I Erase the game because the version here was a rushed copy from the Infinity story contest game when I had far less I dea of Cys code.  I will take time to actually pass scenes right and add new content in the proper places during the proper making maybe stats and that way the game won't feel so rushed and confusing . Or at least that's the idea.

Action packed but too much reading -- Victor

Eternal

absolutly sucks
-- goatlord on 11/22/2019 7:37:08 PM with a score of 0

AVSCYS

sucks ass
-- goat lord on 11/22/2019 9:04:49 PM with a score of 0

Alpha Wolf

sucks ass
-- goatlord on 11/22/2019 9:05:42 PM with a score of 0

Glad to see he's taking his bannings brought on by his own fucktardery so well. Lol

Innkeeper

garbage

-- goatlord on 11/23/2019 12:50:19 PM with a score of 0

Oh come on, four stories in and he's already losing steam.

Lol.

The night of terror.

an Edutainment by Patandjenfan33333

 

This book is AWSOME!@

-- Patandjenfan33333 on 12/3/2019 6:45:53 PM with a score of 20

Holy hell. Please make it stop. 

^

A parting gift from our gender-fluid 10-year-old noob-troll.

Sixteen Words

a Fantasy Adventure by Gower

 

What just happened?|)(|<--Is this a butt or boobs.

-- Patandjenfan33333 on 12/3/2019 5:37:47 PM with a score of 0

[Crotchedy old man imitation:]

In my day, we didn't have all these fancy emojis. When we needed a laugh, we'd type 7734 into a digital calculator and turn it upside-down so it looked like hELL.

Endless hours of entertainment!

WHY THE FUCK DID IT HAVE SUCH A SHITTY ENDING SHE FUCKING KILLED US BULLSHIT

The Daemonologists
fuck (Score of 0)
12/4/2019 7:33:36 AM

You hate to see it.

Thara's comment is pretty amusing.

Hood Life

This story made me wish your parents never met.

-- TharaApples on 12/6/2019 11:38:22 PM with a score of 0

The infinite choice loop really does well in portraying the endless struggles of the African American male.

-- Cricket on 12/6/2019 11:46:34 PM with a score of 0

Always nice to see you two working together.

Also:

What trash is this, nigga? Choice of fake clothing and a loop of doom. You have achieved that 500 words feel like torture. First, make a plot then maybe learn to write something that not ends in a loop or random deaths

-- poison_mara on 12/7/2019 4:21:27 AM with a score of 0

The first bit is just hilarious imagining Mara saying that in real life.

Runaway Wolf by ArtsyGirl38

For the record, I am MongooseGirl, but I am not banned, my account just stopped working. Why you don’t like me mizal, I know not, but this was a story that I did for a project with my friend, she came up with the idea and we worked on it together. To anyone else: while I may accept criticism, NEVER INSULT LYDIA, she is my best friend and a phenomenal artist. She doesn’t have an account, so that is why I posted it on my account, she likes wolves, SO DEAL WITH IT.

-- ArtsyGirl38 on 12/13/2019 12:09:59 PM with a score of 0

pretty good, was fun more sexual stuff with the hot wizard Dungeon Stompage! VinnieBOb (Score of 166980)

Private Game for Natalie by Gower

I think that your mother could tell a better story about me last night than this game doe about Natalie.

Cheers ))))

Marvin l.y.

-- marvin - likestodo - yourmothe on 12/20/2019 2:44:47 PM with a score of 1

On the Carmen Sandiego game:

My name is juul hitt. I really like poop. I want to POOP ON THE WORLD CUP SO BADLY 40 POUND DUMP 40 POUND DUMP 40 POUND DUMP40 POUND DUMP 40 POUND DUMP 40 POUND DUMP40 POUND DUMP 40 POUND DUMP 40 POUND DUMP40 POUND DUMP 40 POUND DUMP 40 POUND DUMP I ATE LIKE 16 BURRITOS AT SHITPOTLEE AAAAAA I LIKE ANIME GIRLS WHEN I AM TAKING A FAT DIRTY DUMOP ON THEM AAAA IM CONSTIPATED DAMN YOU TACO BELL i also wanna lowkey poop on nelson mandela

-- poopman64 on 10/17/2019 3:00:45 PM with a score of 0

He's either 12, has a fetish, or a megazoomer and this is his very first time being able to say something in public truly anonymously... Which would also be 12.

As an aside, that's quite a lot of dump for only 16 burritos. They'd have to be 30 pounds each in order for him to 40 POUND DUMP that many times

I just thought it would have more creativity and pictures.. more things to do like... what happens after they fall in love.. do they kiss? Do they touch each other? Do they lick and bite? Does the man rub natalies boobs so she can prepare to breast feed after sex? Do they have sex? Does she straddle him? Do they twerk together while weeping over pain? They girl need to suck on his nipples obviously and the sexy man needs to rub her boobs and suck on em. SUCK EM. Do they become a horny couple looking to just have sexy pleasure with each other?? HUMP HUMP Like what! Cmon now! Get more juicy sexy events in there u bad ass.??
Also they must be teens!!!!!!!
VIRGINITY ROCKS????????

Private Game for Natalie
SexyLesbi (Score of 0)
1/3/2020 2:53:25 PM

Are you suggesting I did this? I like my sleep way too much to wake up at 4 am.

I’m not in the discord, I have a very limited knowledge on the Chris vs Bill thing (I read the forum yesterday, but that’s it), and while I can’t say that Bill isn’t a boomer, I don’t have a problem with either. I forget why I’m the poster boy for retardation, especially with all of the other options, but I’ll take your word for it.

Nah, you're not the poster boy for retardation, you're not around enough to be such an example.

You're just a regular retard. (For now)

I think he missed the whole point that most people *were* giving you a high rating, and even Bill had given you a 4 before he changed it to a 1 ;) And that Gower and Ogre were goofing off, not literally 'shamed' - so much gets skewed/mis-interpreted on the internet.

Still, an oddly enteretaining side-drama.

this sucks lol i wouldnt do this for all of the money in the world. complete waste of my free time!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Private Game for Natalie
Doris Humplebunk (Score of 0)

Rogues

fucking crap? it didnt mention fuckn sex or get erotic not fuckin ONCE my fucking boner hates yalls guts!

-- Brianna Tupman on 2/5/2020 3:36:36 PM with a score of 0

At least this tranny wasn't complaining about the lack of inclusiveness I suppose.

Studio 5

This mystery was 10 dollar trash. Much better when it was peta bread imo.
Anyways, to cut to the nmeat and potatoes of this complaint, i thought it was fine until that garbage ending. plus some of the time i got my identity confused thanks to your writing style. im having an existential crisis right now and it doesn thelp that all my co workers were actors apparently. my brief relationship with jenny made me realize how lonely i am in my real life. i still dont know if she actually loves me. will she love our children? are our kids gonna be actors? is my life a lie? damn you for making me think this.
devin was a great comic relief. i liked how he ate food and was the master of hint giving. too bad his hints were great lol
at first i thought anthony was the killer cause he didnt get raised. good red herring. i like that fish in my mysteries.
i wish we could have viewesd the camera in dannys coat but i guess the technologi just aint there yet.
i felt proud that i could hit the light cues. i hope my job descriptiong is a bit clearer because i thought i was a producer not a light man.
my 1st grader enjoyed the color puzzle in thebasement. thanks for considering yougner audiences.
i hope the next mystery is The Case of my Disappearing Father and his Many Mistresses." i wanna get to the bottom of that case.i think my character could use some more lore. please.

overall 2/10 i'd poop it if i could

-- "Upset Ace Detective" on 2/6/2020 10:46:46 PM with a score of 0

I've never read this story, but this comment was entertaining.

They're evolving...