Player Comments on Homo Perfectus

This story has a really cool and original premise, and I enjoyed it a lot. While it's not a hard sci-fi with logical explanations behind the futuristic stuff (in this case, powers), I still found it interesting. It does some really creative things with the items/powers that you have, something I haven't seen in any other stories and makes it a really interesting blend of story and game. I honestly recommend everyone play it, because the powers alone make it enjoyable, and just trying to figure out where I could use some of them was fun.

Spoilers ahead:
The biggest issue is that this story is too short! There's a lack of descriptions and characterization that could make this one of the best stories on the site. For example, it would be cool to have a detailed description of this somewhat futuristic city, and some more characterization for Mark, who is just a random person that decides to help you for no real reason. But both of the big fight scenes I encountered, against Teacher and then against Meckard and eve, were really cool. I had to consider what powers to use in response to what, and mostly had a lot of agency to win these fights the way I wanted to. The final fight scene had one place where you could only use one power, and overall the smell power was useless, but otherwise all of them were useful and contributed to the plot.
It'll also be interesting to see what happens in the sequels, because in my ending, the "heroic" one, I killed both Eve and Meckard, so there's no room for the plot to continue.

A great effort and an interesting mechanic. Sometimes frustrating at times with how linear it is in regards to what powers you can use when. Sometimes there are multiple possible ways to resolve a situation using your powers but you can only use one, and sometimes it isn't obvious which power you should use. In those scenarios you have to just keep choosing powers until you find the right one at random. Overall well written, sometimes a little clunky especially in the dialog, but still a great ride. The character logic of most of the cast is convenient logic with each character seemingly doing or saying whatever the plot requires. People assimilate earth shattering revelations in seconds, and it seeks future humans will instantly form powerful bonds in a few hours time. Those parts stretched the suspension of disbelief pretty far. it's understandable to make some leaps in order to keep length manageable and not go through pages of filler plot; but I do feel it could be handled better. That's why most stories that require people to become "fast friends" usually put the two in a situation of ongoing mutual imminent danger. It at least gives plausible reason for the two to be working together and the trauma and shared danger are used to excuse how they bonded so quickly. Ignoring those minor faults though this was a solid work with a novel mechanic and some good choice branches. I look forward to playing the sequel(s)

This will always be my favorite series on the site. This storygame was the first one I ever read and it was what captivated me and drew me into the CYTian community. The idea behind this is amazing, and the whole series is worthy of being featured. I think that the length is great and the action is well-paced, and so good that it keeps you on your toes the whole time.

The writing flows magnificently, adjusting with each scene like water into a new container. The pace switches to accommodate each scene as well, and it just has a way of attracting the reader to keep reading and to play again and again to the the full story.

It was a very good idea to give a bit of a backstory for our character so that we as readers are not confused by being thrown into conflict. The plot thickens and is very structured, with everything a story needs to be featured. With the help of the advanced editor, this makes it even more complex and highly addicting.

One complaint I do have is the lack of descriptive writing. There is some of course, but I feel that a story along these margins requires a lot more than produced. I like to have a feeling of being a part of the story itself, like it is a film being played inside my mind.

Another problem is how characters are introduced. They feel thrown in, like someone being pushed inside a boxing ring and being forced to reveal themselves to us. With a bit of work, character introduction can greatly improve your story for a stronger attachment to the character from the reader. You did very well with developing the characters thoug, and this more than makes up for everything. Changes in Adam are easily seen and foreshadowed to give us an idea of how to use him effectively.

I can't say much about the practicality of your solutions, as this is a superhero story, but the conflicts are generally realistic and are inserted at a good pace that complements the plot line nicely.

The story avoids linearity and gives us as readers a wide variety of options, aided by the advanced editor so that we can play again and aim for a different ending.

If I recall correctly, English isn't the authors first language, so proofreading with someone's help is always important, and I didn't actually catch many errors. They do not affect the storyline, so no complaints about that.

7/8

this is the best homo in the series

Wow. That was a very good story. I like how the inventory was used as space for the powers, very creative. Moreover, I like the story idea in general. 8/8!

I that can just go back, because there was a lot of going back I had to do

Okay

it ok

it was surprisingly good

I have no words to describe this marvel (Mostly cause I accidentally deleted my old review), so...

WOW! 8/8!

The fight scenes are hard and for awhile, I was at a dead end in Chapter 2. But I think the only thing I don't like about this is that it forces me that ending because I am limited to what "valid choices" are..

The story was also very fast paced.

Other than those, good job! :D

Honestly this was an incredibly good story it was really well planned out and the abilities all made since. I just wish that some of the powers were able to be used more often such as increase volume.

Fun story! I enjoyed the use of simple logic in the abilities to answer the problems faced in the story.

This story never gets old for me every after 5 years. This was the story that got me into the site to begin with and sparked a great love for reading in me. I personally love science fiction genre so something like this was right up my alley. As a result of this, it will always have a special place in my heart.

Now as for a story, it has an original concept for the time it was written as well as a cool power system and decent fighting scenes. While not feeling like a fight you’d read, it felt more like a video game which I can also enjoy. The characters are interesting especially considering the foreshadowing it leaves with Damage in Homo Perfectus 2 and Merlin’s past and motivation for Homo Perfectus 1-3. I feel you’ve always been decent at foreshadowing in the first 3 novels and it’s a delight to read over them and spot things that I skimmed over thinking it wasn’t too important for the plot. This story will always hold a special place in my heart as a result.

Very fun! Would really like to see more hints and such as trial-and-error is not very fulfilling. Very good story nonetheless.

Good Game

I remember playing this story years ago, when ChooseYourStory was relatively new, and after being reminded of this story by a reddit post, have decided to return; to see if it still holds up, and it does.

This game is great. Thoughtful, Original, and funny sometimes. It is a great backdrop for the rest of the series to.

I really liked this one! The ability items were an interesting choice, and I loved all the different choices you could make. Hints were really helpful at times, but I also liked figuring things out for myself.
8/8

Wow um yes

Amazing

Yeah, it was fine, I guess.

Too short for excitement

very fun....wish we could've used the super smell more

Too linear and the opportunities to use the powers seems wasted. It was kinda fun though.

I personally loved it! It made me sad when the sister died. Next time try not to make the sister die. I read it with my dad for my 8th birthday.

Focusing more on the world-building would have made the world seem more alive. the story seemed quite abrupt at times.

I thought it was really well made and Adam has the potential to do more good.

Definitely good enough to warrant 7 sequals

Amazing. It had a very awesome mix of a game and a story which is truly hard to balance. I had to go back many many times to get the right ending, but it was enjoyable nonetheless.

It was a really great read that got me chills as I unlocked parts of the story. I also enjoyed the story mechanics and the story itself. I'm looking forward to reading the next parts of the series.

Good game, thanks!

hey that's pretty good

really good.

For the record... VHS was the format, yes. But the device we used to play the tape cassettes on was called a VCR. And if we don't have VCRs anymore in 2019, why on earth would I find it plausible that we're going to get them back in 2042 or whatever?

I point this out to show how failing one simple little detail can sometime torpedo the plausibility of an entire story. I tried twice to find a successful ending, but decided ultimately it wasn't worth my time to be running around the future asking people if they "had a VHS."

eyyy good ending!

Very fun~

A pretty good read.the story is a little too short for my liking but it is what it is.The character development which will follow through the entire franchise was a good idea but a little hard to pull off.

7/8.Super Heroic ending.


Welsh Strikes Again.

I felt like the items were only there to create the illusion of choice, as most often than not, there weren't any alternative options to the predetermined solution.

The writing was all right, but certainly didn't blow my mind.

Good

Beutiful just Beutiful

That was a fun little story, I managed to stop Eve without killing her, though I probably ended up getting some form of lethal cancer.

hail yeah dede

ridiculously difficult to kill teacher and no logic used at all. any normal answer leads to a stupid and avoidable death or failed ending

I absolutely loved how you managed to play this out I do wish though that i could have used my powers whenever, and that the speed and reflexes one where the same since that really confused me at times but other than those small comments I loved this story.

I absolutely loved how you managed to play this out I do wish though that i could have used my powers whenever, and that the speed and reflexes one where the same since that really confused me at times but other than those small coments I loved this story.

You have earned an achievement.

I really like the story line, interesting premise. At times it can be very unclear what I am supposed to do, making it a bit confusing. Died a lot but you can always go back and chose to do something else. Good job.

great

OMG. This story was so difficult. I can't begin to tell you how many times I had to restart it. But eventually I got it right, and it was awesome. You are a great writer and I think the ending it perfect. I look forward to reading your other sequels and seeing what happens next. Thanks for sharing.

Awesome

I loved it, it was a bit hard at the start but then it got fun.

$15 dollars for a candy bar!? That's outrageous! Humanity does need to be destroyed.

Tough but fair, I will have to dive back into it for round 2.

Amazing! So much fun! Thank you!

This is really good.

that was amazing

Well done. Im speechless.

This is one of the best stories on this site!

super heroic ending

I got the super-heroic ending. This is such a fun story to do and the use of items is such a wonderful system.

It was good

Very clever system, worth a read

good book loved every minute of reading

ok, so I had a couple problems with the story. first, the only ending I could complete without failing or being killed was an evil ending, and I would really like a good ending. also the descriptions were a little short. other than that, I really liked it, especially the powers that you can use in different situations. (I just wish there was a little more varity; it kinda felt like use this power you die, use this power you live)

It's a pretty cool game.After reaching the end I was pretty satisfied,especially since I reached the heroic ending

HOW DO I SURVIVE THE FIGHT WITH TEACHER?

Started well and I was interested, but came to a dead end at Body Heat and I couldn't progress. I think a link is missing?

Hey tricky ending. Good job.

A great beginning story. Slightly spoiled by typos here and there (oops, how do you spell typo?) like swapping from 'you' to 'I' and back.
I'll have to try again and save humanity this time!
I love it that you're not afraid to bring the Bible into a story and you make it work convincingly.

Wow. *slow, startled clapping* Amazing!

Thank you for the great thing.
It's of the right dynamics, not to long, really intense, like a good movie - concentrated enjoyment.

Universe is great but there's too much railroading for my taste, that its annoying to guess the correct power to use. With a bit of logic, theoretically, every power can be used for one situation.

This an amazing game!

This an amazing game!

Nice

I gave it a 5. It's a fairly interesting, if stereotypical superhero origin story. My biggest problem with it all was that almost all of the characters are not explored in depth whatsoever, specifically Mark. And while I understood the villains motivations, he also wasn't given much character. However, the power system, while somewhat simplistic, was fun and I can see the story going to some interesting places in future installments.

Hard game

Good book. Power usage q tad confusing but I enjoyed it. Very different CYS

This was awesome! 8/8 would recommend!

to me,this story is very adventurous and fun,but mostly heroic.i liked this story very much also because it has powers

Great story

It was fun until the very end

AWESOME GAME! took pretty long to finish it though.....

great story very thoughful,wish it was longer but i know there is more to come!

i=nice game

Damn.
Awesome.

it is freakin awesome. I did not make it far but it was good

It felt really predictable and I didn't really like the combat system, Just reflex, Speed, Strength, Heat, and Cold and you auto win. The intelligence, Hearing, and Smelling are way under used and I felt like I genuinely was doing Homework like when I was a kind, 4/8

8/8 My favorite power/ability/whatever you call it.

Anyone able to help me win the fight with teacher

This game was beautifully made, and it's obvious you're a terrific writer. The game forces you to really think everything out,or pay the price, though the fight with teacher was pretty difficult, just think about it. Like every great storygame you've made, you actually give subtle clues that help along the way, and I only figured out how to beat teacher by carefully reading through it. Please, continue adding stories and congratulations on have the only storygame with a rating of 8/8, which just proves my point.

wow.

it was very good

Gr8m8

I love the use of items.
I wish you explored the characters more deeply. I hope to read the rest of the series

Old but gold :)

Real good story, a couple bugs with the fighting at the end, I kept getting stuck.

Add a button that says go back instead of having to reset the entire game

It was totally awesome! Although I had a bit of trouble, it was nicely done.

that was fun

Thumbs up!

Awesome. I kept going back and got the heroic ending. YAY!

I like how fluidly the powers are used as conversation options. It's integrated and expected enough that you never really forget that it's an option to use them, and most of the uses make a lot of sense.

Loved this story! Awesomely made!

This is cool! Can't wait to play the next 7 instalments! You had a really creative system with the capabilities!

It was amazing! Even though it seemed slightly rushed, the author(s) made up for it by making so may more. I highly, highly recommend this to anyone who has the time for it.

Awesome. Just Awesome.

Yay Finally got the Super-heroic ending! now on to the next episode!

I liked trying the different powers to test there effects on the story and getting all the different endings.

YAY!!! Super heroic ending!

]:]:]:];]:
I KILLED HUMANITY!!!

It was really good and tricky but overall it was great just if you can please make it longer I want to play longer

Wow... this is awesome. I'm wondering why I didn't read this before, will definitely be looking at the sequels. It had a very engaging plot, hooking me into the writing from the very first word. I do think you could have used a little for descriptive imagery, but I think I should see that later on as you probably grew as you wrote. I got the heroic ending, I killed Eve... I know. Oh well, I still finished it though, and i'm proud.

Great game.

Pretty sweet!

It wasn't too hard, but the use of items added something unique to the story :)
Got the super-heroic ending.

A really good story, I wish there was a way that we could save eve without getting burned but it still deserved a 7/8!

So, I was forced to do the villainous ending because I didn't want to die, but when I was fighting eve, I got to a page with no links, and i tried using every single one of my powers but they didn't do anything. But it was a fun game over all.

This was the best story i ever read! This author is my favorite! I can't wait to read the other Homo Perfectus stories.

An Absolutely amazing story!
I can't wait to play all of them!

I enjoyed this game a lot (although I almost gave up in that damn final fight), though I do have one gripe. While I realise why the characters don't have that much personality, and rightly so, I felt absolutely no connection or sympathy for Eve. I didn't even consider trying to find a way around her death. Cool all the same.

This is a good book my friend is the one who said it out loud then I started reading it and it was awesome

"Homo Perfectus" was an enjoyable game that begins quietly but slowly builds up in intensity and action. The plot was interesting and managed to hold my attention for the whole game, and I loved how the choices allowed me to go down different paths rather than forcing me to stick to a main one. The writing was simple but detailed enough to get the point across. I wish that there had been a bit more detail in the scenes, but that's a small matter. The grammar was excellent - I only caught a few typos here and there. The characters were okay. Since they weren't human, it was understandable why they didn't have much of a personality, although Adam appeared to slightly develop one as he grew older. I honestly didn't feel much of a connection to Eve, so I wasn't really motivated to save her.

Overall, I enjoyed this game. The story was simple and short, and I wish it had been more detailed and slightly longer. But the variety of paths you were permitted to take made the entire experience satisfying, as well as the different abilities you possessed and were allowed to use in fights.

My previous comment was premature. My problem is I only made the choices that were made obvious. Once I stopped concentrating on the links and began using the powers I beat the story. There's still the gap with eve, but if you get to the ending to the end you get a little insight as to what might have gone through Adam's head when he left without her. Everything considered its not as poorly executed as I thought. Unlike many other stories you have to actually work for a good ending. Contrary to what I said in my previous comment that's what makes this an interesting game. I appolagize to the author for my premature critisizm, and I thank him for taking the time to convince me to give it another go. I'll close this out with a tip to anyone having trouble getting passed the failed endings to the good ones... Don't forget to use your powers!

I've gone through every path I can find but there doesn't seem to be a way to stop Pandoras box. I don't know if that is part of the story or not because none of the ending screams I come to specify, they just say "failed ending." Also there are a few holes in the plot that I have issuses with. Main one being why did Adam leave Eve at the facility? After he killed teacher the only thing standing in his way was his "father," and if he could take out the android he would have been able to make short work of any regular human. If Adam felt so protective of her he wouldn't have left her there to be either killed or used unless there was no way to get her out. The other issue I have is why make there be choices if every one of them leads to the same outcome? I understand that you made this a series and you needed a place to start at in the next one, but all you need to do is choose a true ending with the others being different. It cheapens the game when you know it doesn't matter what choice you make you are still going to get basically the same ending. Over all the concept has the potential to be a very interesting story, its just it wasn't executed very well.

The abilities are pretty interesting, the story started out pretty good, but it seemed to rush to a conclusion prematurely.

short

What a wonderful story! An interesting premise with just enough challenge to make you have to work for the ending you want. I'm curious to see how things turn out, so I'm off to play the sequel!

Even better than I expected, and I liked the use of "abilities" to help you advance through the story.

awesome story. great play through. cant wait to play the rest.

Not bad for starters.

Great start to a hopefully great series

Not too bad.

Hard to find good ending but fun overall

Great game

soooo good, but using the go back button is needed for this one

A fun adventure. Well put together. No weird errors or bad links to draw you out of it and it rewards thinking. Play this.

good game got heroic ending

Played through this one over ten times, No matter what options I picked I always ended up dead or at the failed ending. So it's a big no from me.

Great writing skills

That was really good. I liked it but the events led up to nothing really. 5/8

Interesting game

YASS. It had an amazing plot line, and the beginning was awesome and creative (the end felt a bit linear). Cool idea, I'm going on to play the second one now.
Arturo Dude out

Creative

Fantastic game, loved all the endings & can't wait to play the next one in the series! 8/8

Spoilers warning:

This story game is simply brilliant. First of all, it has very complex variables. I loved the fact that it had a part which time could run out, which made the game even harder. It also made very great use of items. They all had amazing looking pictures. But unlike other games, this game had a unique approach to items-using them as DNA. It, at times was tricky to pick which items to use.

The setting and characters were excellent too, it wasn't all just happy. There was a lot of emotions too. Like how foes became friends and vice versa. The characters were very well developed and could change in a way that was brilliant.

The grammar was excellent too. In fact everything was great about it.


Thank you

Scratch what I said that was awesome! But that ending. :(
7/8

A great story. A slight grammatical mistake here and there, but otherwise very well written. Almost seems like an actual story! The powers part is a very good idea, seeing as it was modified from the items mechanic. Until next time: So long, Allons~y and BANZAI!

Very good. I can't wait to read the next parts!

I wish there were more choices. I mean its nothing I could make, but it was almost always one choice. If only there were more choices. I like the concept and story and all but the only real choices you have are your items.

felt too short

It was pretty good, coming into it fresh not having played any of the other games. Solid writing, but a bit too short. I assume this is rectified by the later parts of the series.

Loved it! Going to start the next one now.

Well Done...Could have been longer, less choices should lead to immediate death. but great idea with the powers! Will follow series eagerly!

earning the super-heroic ending took a few tries, but thanks to some aid by the merciful writer, it's finally doable.
Also, it looks obvious in hindsight. Just be prepared to make a heroic, if non-lethal sacrifice to save Eve in the final battle

where's the actual choices?

Very interesting

It was amazing

GREAT GAME WITH GOOD WRITING AND DECISIONS.

I can't stop mekard's pandora's box, teach me how?

Amazing

That was AWESOME!!!

There are a few grammar errors, but all in all it is a really good story.

I noticed several things that annoyingly continued to stand out. This was a great story IDEA, but the way it was written indicated that the author was someone who hadn't had a lot of practice, and a couple of words were misspelled. I also wasn't a big fan of "if you die, you start over from the beginning" kind of path, instead of maybe just starting over from the chapter you're at. Another little problem that I saw was that there were some choices that really were obvious. Just an example for the author, the part where it said "guide Eve", there were two other options that were ok, but in the situation, it really was obvious that THAT was the option to choose. If you had said something like "bear the heat and move closer to Eve" and on the next link said to guide her, in my opinion, would've been more of a challenge to figure out. A personal note from me, I didn't appreciate the profanity. A little cussing is still cussing. Thank you for your time.

ITS very good.

This is my fifth time playing through the series and it's still as good as the first. Kudos to you

Great plot

Great game!

SUPER HEROIC

7/8 Good story, and I was entertained and that's what I like. I am not a huge fan of the writing style, not saying its bad, just it feels very cold. But I still enjoyed the story immensely. on to part 2

Definitely my favorite entry in the series, yes, even past HP8.

What can I say that hasn't been said already? It's a deep, engaging story and DEFINITELY worth a read if you haven't already. I also liked how the story felt fairly immersive; I felt like a real part of the story. The closest I can come to a real complaint is that some of the items/powers don't really see much use, but that isn't really a problem. As I said, if you've not read this story, you're probably missing out.

Umm does anyone know how to prevent teacher from killing you?

One word. EPIC.

Awesome

I really like it but cannot get past Teacher killing me because of the Bible in my room. What am I supposed to do?

That was one of the best stories I have ever read! Great job.

Wonderful, Inlone the use of abilities verses links, they make it rather easy as the anwser is given to you. Can't wait to play them all. :)

I'm so frickin glad that there are 7 more books rn

fun

You, sir, have earned my respect for creating a game that is all at once suspenseful, funny, action-packed, and genuinely human without resorting to cheap tricks, shocking violence, or crude sensuality.

The pacing was balanced, and the content moved seamlessly from suspense to action to comedy to whatever else you've managed to fit in there. The story was excellent, relentlessly drawing me forward while allowing me legitimate alternative paths (as opposed to an obvious main path accompanied by stubby, shoddy dead ends). And the characters had real depth; I felt myself applying my own personality to Adam, wondering not what I might like him to do but rather what I myself would do! The first person perspective is a great choice for immersion.

I got stuck a few times trying to figure out which power to use, but the right choice always made the most sense in the end and was often ingeniously implemented.

Thank you for sharing your talent with us! I'm looking forward to continuing the saga...

I loved this game! You might have to play through it a couple of times to reach the ending, but once you do, the sense of accomplishment no matter the ending is worth it!

Super-heroic ending! :D

That was awesome!! I felt like I had superpowers. I guess I can also like CYOA games that *aren't* set in the apocolypse.

Loved every second of it.

10/10, would play again.

Well the ending is incredibly lame...Teacher found the Bible so I died?

Very interesting.

best story ever

That was great! I got really stuck during the fight with Teacher in the office, before I ...

*** spoilers below ***

heated up the metal pole!

*** end spoilers ***

I failed so many times before I got through. Great story!

Amazing

Great

Great

I thought it was a great game! I couldn't figure out how to 'save' Eve, though. Anyway this is an awesome story, I just wish there was more of a reason to use the increased volume and smelling.

the start of a great series, if you knew what it would become rating 9 :)

Fun to replay with an account.

I really liked the mechanics with the super powers and I enjoyed the story, I wish that some of the other powers would've been more useful though, since you never use super hearing

It was enough to keep me entertained for a short while. But it was still worth the time spent on it

Too short and limited option. No regrets on time spent :)

This story was ummm. The story is interesting, I think eve was a odd bitch, lovely and Adam was a sneaky protagonist shitface toilet. Meckard was batshit crazy and misguided. Mark was helpful, delightful, lovely, NICE. Teacher is ummm, shit, dead insightful, fuckin' non mi piace, lovely lovely, subservient. Thanks Babe. ILY. Fin.

Okay okay ....

very interesting story, and i love the fact that you use common sense and logic to enhance the tactics..

Its good but everything happens to suddenly in my opinion, it feels like the author wrote this as quickly as he could dont hate this is just my opinion

Cool

I loved it. Though I don't know how you win. Can you win? If so, could someone help me?

Amazing.

This is an extrodinary story!

Pretty cool. I just wish it were more descriptive.

Very, very good. I am impressed.

It is amazing

Awesome book! BTW use a dictionary.

This was a great story even if it's, short it has to end somewhere. This was an awesome introduction to the series!

Dude, I love this. Got super heroic ending on my first try.

It's awesome to have powers to use in specific moments. It's fun to see if every scene has an opportunity to be manipulated by my abilities! Although some parts of the story were used to try and explain some back story, it felt "put on" and there were not much build/back it up. Sure it might've made the story longer if the author used more words, but I think it'd have made the play much more gripping rather than casual.

Super-heroic ending! Hooray me! :)

Lots of fun, too.

It was awesome

Very good!

Woot woot, Super-Heroic ending!

This is awesome i've never play sci-fi before

Super-heroic ending.

Awesome. Loved the story. Off to Homo Perfectus 2!

I always love sci-fi. I liked it a lot.

that was great. Its creative and I wasnt sure how Id end up feeling about it, but i really enjoyed it. I cant wait to play #2!!

Great story. I feel Adam needs more development before he can rebel.

It was a neat story, though a bit too linear for my taste. The abilities were what made the story fun! I'm excited to try out the others! Thanks!

This is the best game I have ever played.

This was a bit short but loved it (Got the super-heroic ending)

Mind-blowing.

This was *********** awesome!

All in all, fun way to incorporate superpowers.

However, near the end, during the final fight after waiting even longer (the 'Too Long.' page), I found myself stuck as no item would work to take me to any other page. I ended up having to backtrack and find a different ending. Bug?

I enjoyed the game, but was annoyed by the lack of the ability to skip past already completed chapters if you failed in a later chapter.

Can't figure out how to survive fighting Teacher. Tried about five times now. Really tired of dying- Dying it boring. Especially when I have to go back through EVERYTHING to get back to where I keep dying again. -_-

Very good game. It's cool to see how far you've gone from this to HP8. 7/8

Homo Perfectus was excellent, great story. I got the super-heroic ending. The only problem that I had with it was that it was short. there were also a few typos.

Really good super hero story gonna play the sequels now :)

A good story. Made me want to write my own Sci-Fi story

Too much guess work. Very few parts of the story alluded to the required action. The story was otherwise interesting.

Awesome Story, very much enjoyed it, and super psyched that there are 7 more parts to play.

Emmett: Awesome!

Me: Everything was AWESOME!!

This is one of the best stories I have ever read. It is a little short, but the next 7 sequals more than make up for it.

good game (: a bit inconsistent and underdeveloped however, the overall mechanics of the game redeemed all the problems i had and enabled me to enjoy the story. Thank you (:

Well done... took me time to get a comprehension of the basics.

I had to reload alot but it was really good

Well done. Very good. I really enjoyed it! This might just be my favorite.

This is the first story I've read on the site and I thought it was pretty fun. There were some parts I thought were pretty goofy (mainly Mark being so accepting so fast) but it was entertaining.

Very good.

Very well done. I enjoyed playing the game very much.

Ugh! It's definitely one of the better stories out there, but I can't win! Kudos for the gameplay and storyline. Super-engaging and you have to think outside the box to get anywhere. A++

I loved it. :)

best storygame ever on this site. had a few mispelled words but otherwise perfect. plot was amazing.

Yay super heroic ending on my first try.

Awesome sums it up pretty well.

Super-heroic ending first try through! Loved it all, man! Thanks!

Got the super-heroic ending :)

Lots of endings, but it doesn't use all of the powers very much. Smell isn't used at all, hearing and vision aren't used often, and there are sometimes you wish you could change things. If you froze the water to walk across after dodging the bullets, you could break the device or toss it without impaling Mecker later. It'd be nice to have conversation options to persuade Eve as well, and the Bible doesn't really mean much.

I finished the first and liked it. Moving on to the part 2 immediately. :)

Phenomenal game! Nice sci fi/superhero story, with some interesting religious components too.

I enjoyed it very much and it had a good message.

Amazing Story and I got the Super-Heroic Ending

yay! got the super heroic ending!

Got the heroic ending, now for the super heroic ending...

This game was awesome! I loved it! I cant believe I didnt to this storygame until today!
My first try: Villianous ending
My second try: Heroic ending
My third try: Super-heroic ending

I feel super-heroic now. Great story, I loved it!

Good, but when I tried to face Eve, I couldn't use any of the items. So, really I was forced into the villainous ending.

good use of the item system...took me awhile to figure out how to get the super heroic ending but it was well worth it

Heh...Super Heroic...

Great game!! It was like watching a thriller... no, better! Like being the hero of a thriller :-)

The only thing that bothered me was that sometimes the text said "I" and sometimes "you"

It's a good game with an interesting story, but there were quite a few times I ran into dead ends where no abilities worked and there were no options.

Nice original concept, well written but maybe not detailed enough, I couldn't bring myself to care for Eve at all. It would be cool to combine powers :p

wow the super heroic ending was sweet

Took me forever to find the perfect ending

It took me a whole year on this site to finally start reading the homo perfectus series. Now that I read this one I can believe what I was missing.

Oh wow, I absolutely loved this! The idea of it all! And the name 'Homo Perfectus' is genius as well! I got the heroic ending. :3

Took me a few Tries to get how to beat the Clock after you figure out what to do.

I like the story, it is short and straight to the point. The interactive use of superpowers also gives the story a rather thrilling experience.

The story was short, but still captivating. The use of superpowers and their consequences made the story even more real. Its a good thing that there are sequels to this story, because I really enjoyed this one!

Super innovative! Using the inventory system for superpowers is fun to experience and the thought put into the situations in which they are used shows. Great writing and fun story!

Really interesting start of a really well thought series! :D Surely going to continue on reading!

Very confusing and very good I like how you made it complicated and had several endings

I can see why this game already has high ratings. Great story line and development and using the abilities to go through the game was fun and challenging enough to make it interesting.

The game is great and I'm glad that Eve lived!!

This game was completely awesome!!

This was a great story. Difficult yet extremely fun. I loved the way you need to think about how to use the powers. One of the best stories on this website

Super heroic ending... Dang going thru that that's a sacrifice

I loved it and i got the heroic ending and lost no health. its a shame that Eve is dead though. Great game and I plan to finish the series.

Loved it

This Story was amazing me and my friend played it and it was awesome. Keep up the good work. :D

It was an interesting game to play, but the use of the powers sometimes felt too restricted. I found the heroic, villainous, and cowardly endings and a number of looping/dead-end scenes before I found the super-heroic end. A big thanks to ugilick's comment about warming up following a dodge.

I've been postponing my play of part 1 of the series, until now, obviously. I hope the next part is more detailed because the writing and the use of the powers (although entertaining) is rather simplistic. Furthermore, the character Mark seems unbelievable to me. The mugging victim, too. I don't know. I rated high because of the super powers though! Good job.

SUPER HEROIC ENDING! Awesome!

Awesome

I would have given it a 7 but there were so many times that I got stuck in the fight and had to restart, the latter one.

First part was annoying, but, it got better, will try ep 2.

Excellent. Very imaginative & creative take on the Adam & Eve saga. Writing style is a little simplistic in places, but this is no bad thing as it serves to propel the story along quickly & neatly. I'm looking forward to seeing how the Story develops in future episodes.

I wish I could figure out how to save eve.

OMG! So fun but so hard to beat!!

HOLY F***ING COW!!! AMAZING AS CAT FOOD ICE CREAM!!! (It's actually quite good, you should try it.)

Fantastic! I believe I'm hooked on this series now. Thank you so much for this story! =)

Amazing, the only bad thing is that the hours you spent coding weren't spent writing, but for the part you've already written is incredible. I can't wait to read the rest of the story!

Loved it. I got stuck at one part and got frustrated but when i finally figured it out i was so happy!

It was fun while it lasted.

Ignore my previous comment, please.

I got the superheroic ending :D so, cryogenics, huh.

Failed ending. so, don't go with the 7-11 guy [Mark] ?? i'll give it another shot

Thank you for a wonderful story me. Kept me interested through out and was just difficult enough to be fun!

Super Heroic ending. Awesome.

Awesome

Awesome

this game is super badass

I loved this game! Very well written, brilliant story line, likable characters, just a great game all around, I loved figuring out which powers to use and when, although I don't think I ever found a use for the increased sense of smell. Looking forward to reading all the rest.

Nicely done, The effects the powers have are pretty cool and it's a very decent beginning to the story.

This was a well written story and I loved having to figure out what attacks or super powers would be the best to use. I got the heroic ending but I'm going to go back and see what happenes if I am not so nice!

Super fun! The powers were so entertaining to use!

great game!!!

Amazing!! I absolutely loved it, so glad I decided to try it... 8/8, hands down best series on this site!!

Good stuff

Very fun and interesting. I love it.

Amazing! I love the concept and idea.

Extraordinary piece of work. This is splendid and is hard to resist the temptation to play. A job well done.

Confusing

This game was very interesting. I loved the ideas put into the story, I would have liked to see more diverse options to choose from though.

While I enjoyed the story, I find it incredibly disappointing that so many powers were included, but so few were actually usable. Situations became more of a trial and error sequence than a fluid scene because of this. It also could have used a bit more proofreading. Despite these small flaws I look forward to reading the rest of the series, which I imagine only gets better!

Love it

Pretty good here are ways you can improve...
-More special powers which would be awesome!
-Would be better if longer.
That's it!

Excellent, creative story. Very well done. There are a few typos and what not but they didn't detract at all from my immersion. I cannot believe I haven't read this story before now. I very much liked the use of items; at times, I was basically clicking them to determine what you thought was a relevant enhancement, but for the most part there seemed to be a lot of choices on how to proceed by using "abilities." Great use of scripting. Looking forward to reading the sequels.

@Domin-HDTV

Not at all, but the items/powers only work on specific pages.

is the intellegence one broken?

A fun, short time waster. The concept was interesting, and kept me entertained for a while.

Heh.. super-heroic :-)
Nice piece of work!

Great!

Spectacular. 7/8, only because some of the passages were confusing (perhaps due to my "meh" english

super-heroic, 40 health

@CovElite
Meckard specifically says that only a portion of their DNA is unstable/bendable, which means they can't change themselves in all directions, just the ones that are part of the unstable sector of the DNA.

Super-Heroic! Also couldn't I just alter my DNA to give myself the power the regenerate?

I got supper heroic

simple awsome

Great game, loved bending DNA to do stuff

I finally won

I only got to the 2nd chapter, and I made a wrong decision, but that is what makes these stories run! Can't wait to play more, and do the right thing, the challenges are what makes it good, writing is good, not great, but the story line and challenges complete this game! will play more soon! 6/8

good but some spelling errors

Sweeeeeeet

Great as usual but I noticed a glitch. When I healed from the first fight with teacher I had 140 health

I liked the storyline a lot. The concept was very interesting, and it made you think outside of the box. I got the heroic ending, but I was slightly disappointed I didnt get to use all the abilities.

Very good in general though. :-)

AMAZING!

Really enjoyed it. The sense of moral choice and personal development shone through, though it would perhaps be more interesting to have sections where more than one power could be used, to think outside the box a bit more.

I dunno man... it just feels really uninspired. All these are starting to become really similar, and it just feels as though no one, creator or player, really cares anymore.

The mechanic of using the powers was interesting, but the player ends up using the same 4 powers over and over again. The dialogue, which should really stick, was completely forgettable. The whole construction of your game, with a lack of items and choices, left something to be desired.

It's obvious that you put time into this, but the end product is not a good game.

really hard

That was awesome. The spelling was good, excellent plot, and I loved the story overall. My favorite parts were the battles. It was intense, fun, and just a joy to read. The only thing I would suggest for future stories is more options for the other abilities and to make options in the story for the player.

Nice job.

6/8

Pretty good

The ending I got to took forever to get too. I like long stories, but try not to make them too long. 5 of 8.

Its freaking awesome, The story actually made sense and it was awesome.

The premise is very interesting, the charcters are well developed, and the story is EPIC!!!

Ausome

Villanous ending FTW

awesome

One of the best storys I have read on this site.

eve is too weak, the professor should be given some power to make the ending more challenging.!

Not too shabby :)

It's worth every cent.

Great!

Nice use of items, but I would have liked more choices in the story plot. Good game.

Super-heroic ending :) Great story!

Awesome. Cant wait to play the next one!

Excellent. The plot is rich and original, the characters are vibrant, and the combat system is amazing.

I got evil ending yay

AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Gah!! I can't get a good ending but I'm SOO addicted!! Very good story.

that was awesome! i got villineous ending! can't wait to read 2 and 3!

kalun approves again and this time I finished it!

kalun approves but can't get past the teacher finding the bible.

Cool, I got the super-heroic ending this time. Nice way of using powers to change the plot. Usually I don't like sci-fi much (I prefer fantasy) but this game is really good.

Even though I got the failed ending this is a fun game and I'm going to try again.

One of the first five games I've played on this site and but out of all the the games like this I've played on other sites and this one it has the best potential and now I'm gonna see if it lives up to it's true potential in homo perfectus 2 and 3.

awesome

I love this story!!!

I got the heroic ending this time (usually I get the super heroic ending)

Good story

BEST STORY EVER! :D That was amazing!

Very good story

Very nice. I imagine this would make a good movie, too. At first, it was rather linear, but I'm glad it branched out the way it did.

I think having some sort of epilogue after the ending would have improved it a lot and getting some hints as to when to use your abilities would have been nice (not which just sort of like when you should).

Other than those points I enjoyed it.

Very good game! One nitpick: I would have liked some custom text whenever I tried to use the DNA items, rather than just the generic "you can't use this item now."

I thought it was a pretty good game over all, but you do know that the plural form of perfectus is percti right? Like instead of homo perfectuses it is homo perfecti

@ramerman
Nice job. I've heard people have had some trouble getting the super heroic ending.

@bradhal
I felt making a description of everything the reader had decided to do at that point was unnecessary. There was an ending and instead of that summary you expected, there was a short description of how Adam's life goes on after the story.

@Christian
Thank you and that means a lot to me.

@MethodKid
I've answered your message, and if you read all the other comments you'll find out why some powers are useless in this part. Money isn't necessary in any of the Homo Perfectus stories, but often provide an easier way to deal with situations.

@dracortez
Thank you and I personally am not too fond of pages with a large amount of text. Just putting it all into three pages and putting a continue link between them makes all the difference if you ask me. Additionally, I choose to use the term capab

Amazing, the plot was enjoyable, the text was short and to the point. The use of the items is very nice.

Hey great game! I sent you a message in regards to the super heroic ending, I finally figured it out so don't worry lol, I gave you a 6/8. Mainly because of the potential that didn't quite make it imo. For example, not all powers could be used, quite confusing when you can and can't use powers, also money was quite unnecessary. Besides that I'm interested in the other 2 parts. =]

It was one of the best games I've played so far!

Good but needed a ending. I clicked on super heroic ending expecting a summary or ending or something but I went straight to the comments. Shame . Rest of it was amazing but only one ability needed to be used at one time . Should have been able to use different abilities and have different results that didn't result in death.

woot! super-heroic ending in the first try... great game!

@Jordan thank you and yes, I am Icelandic. I have to admit that I am probably better at English than the average Icelander.

I finally got the super-heroic ending! Man, what an awesome game! I look forward to more games from you in the future. I think someone else mentioned that you were Icelandic or something? If so, you've a marvelous grasp for the English language. Thank you for an excellent, well-written game!

@Jordan I'm not sure what part it is that is giving you trouble. You'll have to be more specific.

I really enjoyed the story, but always end up either getting the villainous or failed ending. I've done everything possible it seems, from talking to Mark, to telling Eve to delay Father. I know I'm missing something, but can't for the life of me figure out what. Can you give me some hints, or some kind of help? Thanks.

I really like how the items are capabilities. Great writing too. Only thing is, it didn't seem like there were enough choices sometimes.

It was a really interesting story. Obviously some spelling/grammatical errors but being Icelandic I think that's a pretty good effort. I really liked the idea of using items, but constantly going through the story I would find pages where only one item would work, and having to click through all the items (particularly in the fight with Eve), and the brain offered no hints. Apart from that, it was great though. Well done!

Additionally, someone said there was no continuity because Eve was willing to stall Meckard for Adam to snoop around at one point, and then at the end she was willing to die for Meckard and fight Adam. In the beginning, she wasn't betraying Meckard as Adam only managed to convince her when he said that he's going to verify that everything he says is true. In the end, she wasn't ready to die for Meckard, she was ready to die for his idea of a perfect world because he had convinced her it was the truth.

@ugilick
I aim to please.

its great, good to see you fixed all the problems complained about and more. :D

Right. The newer version is out. Please comment if you feel the game lacks something.

@ugilick
You mean unpublish and re-edit? Sure, I can do that.

you need to fix the errors in this game before you move on, at least i think so.

@JJJ
It is mostly a mockery and he's trying to "defeat" god by creating a perfect version of his humans, if you believe in that stuff. That wasn't really revealed in the game, but then again, his hatred for religions was more of an easter egg (finding the article on his family's death wasn't necessary). The story may have felt forced because I wrote it first as a movie script, and of course those don't have any extra branches the plot can take. I've started on the sequel and tried to correct this problem by adding more branches, and I am way to enthusiastic about it to quit, unless I get hit by a meteor tomorrow. Additionally, as long as it is constructive criticism and not internet trolling, there is no such thing as being too hard :D

Oh, just another thing: A very minor nitpick but if our father hates religion so much why did he create EDEN and name us ADAM and EVE? Not a huge deal but just curious. I'm excited for your next attempt man, you've got a ridiculous amount of potential.

there were several errors and the ending seemed significantly rushed. there needs to more options that you can take when you fight with eve. after i doged radomly increasing my body temperature would be the very last thing i would have done. i suggest adding several more ways to get through that fight. when i got money out of marks glove department i went from 100$ to 13$ it realy didnt make any difference though. there were also some words that were misspled in the wrong tense or left out altogether. fix these things among others that im sure there are and this story will be absolutly awsome. very good job 6/8

P.S: Urnam0, this story isn't feature worthy. At least not in sci/fi. If this were in School-Based, Mystery/Puzzle or Love & Dating, it would be but the stories already featured in sci/fi are incredible.

[Last Comment]

Also, focus on the technical aspects! Work on writing in a consistent narrative style and using the same tense. It's hard work but it will come to you and when it does, you'll love it!

I removed the 'part of a series' tag because it currently isn't. Publish the second one with that tag and I'll retroactively add it to this one. The reason it's done this way is because if you were to disappear and never write the next one, this wouldn't be part of a series :)

[Continued from last comment]

6. [Medium] Urnam0 hit the nail on the head with the comment about the endings. Not only that, they are unrealistic. "Your father kills you!" How? I'm fucking superhuman! haha. Flesh those out, big time.

7. [Serious] Continuity! At the beginning, Eve was happy to distract Father for me, and later she's willing to die for him? That's not the only continuity error, there were many times where the plot feels forced. "You hear a machine operating, voila a VHS!" There were more. Think about if a situation like that happened in real life, how strange it would be and then eliminate such circumstances.

Overall, a good story! I'm probably being overly hard on you because I can see so much of myself in your writing. You've got great ideas and loads of potential but you need to refine them and really work on getting into the minds of your characters.

[Continued from last comment]

4. [Medium] Correct me if I'm wrong, but up until the last choice, the story is completely linear. The plot is nice but our choices don't really effect the outcome.

5. [Medium] Use more description when describing items and surroundings. Make sure to tell us that there are boulders at the beginning, that we were going to a light house, that teacher is a robot, that the guy is holding a gun (describe it as an L shaped object with a hole at the end, because when you just said it was a metal object, I assumed knife), etc.

Alright, so this game has tons of potential! Great premise and it's definitely not bad at all. There are some issues!

1. [Minor] A pyromaniac is someone obsessed with fire! Similar to the logitech comment in Reanimation 2.

2. [Serious] You've greatly improved your tense/perspective problems since Reanimation 2 but there are still some issues. You switch between "you" and "I" in the story and that's really distracting. I suggest sticking to "you" as it sounds less contrived. Also, I notice that although you usually correctly use limited perspective, occasionally, you drift over to omniscient and it hurts immersion a bit. Particularly when you're using first person.

3. [Serious] Battle scenes feel really awkward and I spend most of time simply using random items with the hope that something will work because often times there aren't adequate hints to allow me to figure out what to do.

Dude, osom leikur :p
Smá typos hér og þar, sérstaklega þar sem maður er í fyrsta boss fightinu, og það stendur "I has" XD

@urnam0
Nevermind. I just realized my error. Additionally, the smelling systems didn't really factor into this game, but this is the first of a trilogy (why the "Part of a series" tag was removed is beyond me) and the same powers will be included in all three. The smelling systems will be included in the others. I thought about leaving it out of this one, but having Adam appear in the second game with a power he didn't have before would have been more ridiculous than including a power in a game that has no use for it.

@urnam0
I agree with all of your comments except the "Homo Sapiens are your descendants" Meckard made then to become the next step in the human evolution, similar to how the Homo Sapiens were an evolved form of the Homo neanderthalensis. They are his descendants in that context.

5. where did the boulders come from? at least mention it somewhere before using them to win the the story lol deus ex machina
6. where do you use the Smelling superpower?
7. What clue do i have that Hot is ineffective against Teacher in the battle, but Cold is effective?
8. "I use my hearing and hear the sound of an active machine nearby. I go there and find a working VHS!"- lolwut

I really enjoyed this story, and it has the potential to be one of the best on the site.

2. The death page that starts with, "I don't trust Mark with the information on my origin and leave," and ends with, "He then kills me and Eve and restarts Project: Eden" is representative of how most endings are way too short and could better be turned into a full story branch (is there only one electronics store in the entire city?)
3. undescriptive death scenes- they all seem like a few sentences banged out in a rush, rather than that storyline being given its due; maybe create some dialogue or fleshed out action plot
4. needs better thought-out superpower results: why can't I use Speed to run out of the facility before Eve collapses it? (Could result in an interesting side story or combined with another branch) though I do love the clue of you running faster than the car when u jump into Marks car and that becomes a crucial detail later on in the game

4. no action possible after using Brainpower on Persist page of guy pointing gun at woman
5. I had 100 money after rescuing the woman, then after taking Mark's money I had 13?!
6. if i buy a candybar at the 7-11 while at 100 health, i dont lose any money

Ugly:
1.Overly abrupt deaths- how about a warning page before some of the deaths, such as in the training hall after u turn hot and do nothing, you immediately die?! lol how about another chance like a more forceful suggestion that not turning cold will be dangerous, because you never
gave the reader any indication that turning hot would be so hot that you melt the building instantly, the average reader would not guess that you would die, maybe instead
receive a reprimand from your father that you're turning too hot

the better the game, the wordier my comments, so here goes:
Good:
1. Good combo of story and game; could be feature-worthy; this is a solid 6 for me and has the potential to be an 8 if everything was perfectly executed, a 7 is
probable if all following suggestions were sufficiently followed
2. i liked the use of superpowers in fights
3. good backstory
4. good main branch plot ideas
5. use of pictures

Bad:
1. Frequent technical error: review your use of quotation marks in conjunction with commas and periods
2. homo sapiens are your descendants???
3. After asking father about being special and going back to asking other questions, there should be additional link on asking questions page now that allows going to training hall directly rather than back to have to ask about being special again and getting the exact same answer from father