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... My panties are so wet right now. O.O

I take full credit for making Briar's panties wet.

Anyway, I figured this would be the perfect Briar comment to start the new Interesting Comments thread.

Enjoy.

Cherry picking Briar's posts for these threads has become one of my favorite traditions.

I should really choose what I say more carefully :p

I thought you were.

hello motherFucker.. my raw Ass got finessed by ur quiz nigga watch the fuck out i lose one more time and its back to slavery for u

8/8

penis

 

This was on 1912 by kawaiiprincess. 

Wow stargirl, do your parents know you use such language? Better wash your mouth out with soap.

I'm just gonna carry over the special feature at the end of the last thread to this one.

Ford reviews Skybreak!



Now as End said, everyone was pretty shocked he even put in this amount of effort. How this has came about is that he had gotten himself thrown in the time out channel (as he will do), and I was like whatever, go review CYBERMONKEY to be freed.

It was then I discovered that unlike @Avery_Moore (who is yet to even rate it) Ford has already reviewed Cybermonkey! Another shocker!

So I told him to go review Skybreak instead, giving him a link to the LP thread and assuming he would just look at a couple of screenshots there and fake it. But he surprised me once again by actually downloading and installing Adrift and playing it for real, an experience I'm sure he's completely forgotten by now as well as the fact he wrote a review. Still, I'm...proud of him? And disturbed of course, but that's normal.

He was just feeling in a creative mood all around that day I guess:

Corbin Zaugg on 5/18/2021 for Love SICK
Pretty good... nice and sexy

A man of taste.


Diane Barrie on 5/18/2021 for Survive the Zombies
the guy took his baseball bat with him at happened t that?

Indeed, what with him happened that is a question we all have that I'm not sure will ever be answered.



Name on 5/17/2021 for The Time Machine Episode 1: Time Travel
squirt gun pew pew now dog is wet haha

Ameliaaaa on 5/15/2021 for How much do I like them?
Im just testing dis out lolll tysm for adding in my ideas ??????


...the kids are not all right.

Now that I've read the last sentence, The Offspring's songs will be stuck in my head for the rest of the day.

I decided to break new ground in my life this evening by reviewing a game genre I've never reviewed before. Unless I did, in which case that wasn't canonical, this is the first time I've TRULY reviewed a fanfiction to the fullest extent of my power. I thought that I could offer a unique perspective on this situation as someone who has never watched a singular full episode of Dr. Who in their lives.

I can only glean what's happening in this story using knowledge that I've absorbed through cultural osmosis. Through memes and references, I know only about the ribbed salt shaker men, the evil C-3POs, the SCP ripoff, the smiling tofu people, and that ugly hydrocephaly child whose only apparent character trait is that he hates the moon.

Luckily, right off the bat in this story, I know that I'm in my element, however, because as soon as I get to page 3, there are statues that move when I blink. Naturally, my response is to immediately do the one thing those retards SHOULD'VE done in the show (unless they did, I didn't watch that shit) and kick its ass so it knows who's boss. Unfortunately I'm playing as a slackwristed soyboy who can't punch stone, so I immediately die. But then I went back and checked the other choices, and it turns out that I never actually had a choice from the very start. It's all instant death. Even choices that don't kill you are an instant loss. When I choose to go home instead of going on an adventure (Pro tip: If you don't have a plot in mind for a choice... Why did you make it a choice?) I wind up surviving, but it still isn't a valid ending and makes me go back to the previous page.

Did I mention that the death in this game is objectively the worst kind of death? If you're that insecure in your own writing (which, honestly, you should be, there aren't any paragraph breaks, I wouldn't even read any of this if I wasn't answering to higher powers right now) that you need to guide your players to a "real" ending before you can rate it, then maybe don't give me the option to die a 3-sentence death ON EVERY PAGE.

Also who the fuck are Rory and Amy? I know who the Doctor is, he's the funny french fries and custard man. But I don't know who Rory and Amy are. What is my motivation for interacting with them? Or the Doctor, for that matter. I guess we could be staying with these people out of morbid curiousity, but there isn't a lot of motivation for either choice (not that we really have a choice) on whether to go with these time travellers or not.

From my perspective as someone who isn't a Doctorhead (I assume this is the term for people who like Dr. Who) this all seems like bullshit. All the characters sound the same, there isn't really dialogue to speak of. The only option we're ever given is whether to participate in the plot. And if we choose not to, we die.

Some standout moments are Page 11, where even if we decide against all logic to refuse to tell the only guy in this plot who seems to know what he's doing some pertinent information, it even gives the temporary illusion of freedom by not killing us immediately. But then our choices are either "Cave in and tell him anyway" or "Remain silent and fucking die". This doesn't even change the conversation in any way, because the page that caving in and telling him takes you to is the exact same as the one that you go to when you tell him the first time.

There was even a branch immediately after that which also created the brief illusion of choice, but it all winds up with the same result. I checked each of the 1-2 page "branches", and it changes nothing notable. You are predestined to crash the ship and die in the dream. Is this the thing people keep talking about when they say it's difficult to write about time travel without invalidating free will?

I could keep going with examples, but I would just be a broken record. There is no deviation anywhere. No branching of plotlines. There is only one plot, with only two endings. I've checked every page, and it's all only "follow the plot" or "die/live immediately and go back". Your reward for following the railroad to the end is to pick one of two immediate 4-second endings. Maybe there would be something to this if I were a Doctorhead who understood all the references, but judging from the other comments, this is not, in fact, the case.

Frankly, I'm amazed that a story this awful has been up this long. Other than the fact that hardly anyone relevant enough to curate things actually bothers reading the fanfiction category for quality, I have no idea how this piece of shit game survived. And I mean that literally, it's a piece of shit. It's not worthy of being called an abomination, it's not funny enough to be a shitpost. The only reason this thing probably still exists is because it's old as shit and very few people read fanfic here anymore. It's time to stop this, we must bring this story to an end. It has escaped the clutches of damnation for too long. 1/8, I would give it negative 8 if I could.

— ISentinelPenguinI on 5/23/2021 11:27:02 PM

I'm always impressed when readers put more work into their comment than the authors put into the game. ^_^

I wanted to save it because Sentinel has a habit of only putting this kind of effort into reviewing games that are already on the chopping block.

0k_rxs on 5/25/2021 for A Handsome Man
what the fuck.. they just met and now they are married? so rushed. i think we missed a few chapters sweetpeaaa....


Nice to see someone so sensible about relationships, I'm sure she'll...


https://chooseyourstory.com/story/~2e~2e~2ein-love-and-war

omg om go ogmo omgo gm gom gomg i loved this with a passion please marry me omg tyson is my bae i even drew him and im going to post it on insta omg i loved this too much for my heart to handle like have my babies pleaseee!!! insta- 0k_rxs you'll be able to see my drawing there soon :)

— 0k_rxs on 5/25/2021 12:58:16 AM

... Maybe she means "Please marry me and have my babies after we have spent several years getting to know each other and developing a stable long term relationship?" ^_^

JadeGreen17 on 5/30/2021 for Island Attack: Raid
I just got recommended this community by a friend. I just got my account. I'm a vetted writer but green to this site and this is pretty much sums up what this site is about for me. I see this is 9 years old but good work.



And that friend's name was betaband.

We've all been so fuckin schooled on this subject now.

Seth went around featuring any "review" that was two coherent sentences strung together when that ability first went in. I've been removing unworthy comments as I find them, and what's left is usually on trash tier stories in categories that regular users never bother with.

They at least didn't get commendations for those since comms didn't exist back then.

Feel free to recommend any of them be taken down in the Risk My Attention thread, but we don't reward points for that kind of thing anymore.

This game sucks!!!!!!!!!! WHY DO IT GIVE ME $200 AND thEN sAY 0 DA FUQQ NIQQA

— SexyRatHole

 

Found this on My Vacation by AppDude27. 

I was unaware that Niqqa was a word. Now I know. ^_^

Unfeatured Fazz's comment while I was looking at that one, although he might've said the maximum it's possible to say about such a game.

It's probably in line for unpublishing based on ratings soon, although there's nothing actually terrible about it. It's just remarkably underwhelming.

I'm probably being swayed by the presence of pictures though.

And he couldn't even spell his name right. Where are the Qs?

I mean, I don't want to be known as a site that silences Black voices, even when we find them disagreeable.

It kind of depends on whose story it is too, End and a few others like to hang onto their troll comments.

What game was that left on?