Locals have been reporting strange lights and sounds.
They seemed to originate from Capy's Grim Pizza, just around the corner from the Thunderdome.
But that place has been closed for years, so what could it mean?
Tomorrow night, more investigation might be in order...
Thunderdome!!!!
Speaking of... When's my match with RK? After the mods, maybe.
Your match with RK and me you mean?
Yep! Sorry, forgot you joined.
Wow, that looks amazing! Did you make it?
Well seeing as I know MHD created this, I commended her post in the thread instead.
I am in awe 🫢
This is amazing!
So this is what the new pfps meant. This is the one of the best trailers I have seen, I really love the art style. Looking forward to seeing what happens next in the Thunderdome!
!
A vs B:
I had a tough time weighing these stories. One one hand, I thought the pinball game was a fantastic setup to a simple story idea. Also, it has a pinball game. Definitely awesome! On the other hand, I really enjoyed reading Story B. The sarcastic tone coupled with the suffering of Hamlin and the Ogre were very entertaining. It could really go either way for me. Even as I'm typing all this right now, I'm still having trouble giving a vote. I love pinball and idea of staving off the grim reaper with the love of the game. I love this gross-out story where a naked ogre is forced to eat urinal cakes because a horrifyingly tortured man motivated a wizard's apprentice to seek out a princess who likes eating entire jars of custard. Er...
Story B C vs D:
Story C was beautiful in sections, but I'm not sure all the parts were paced well. I was a bit disappointed by the scholar route, but the Sailor route had a lot going for it. Story D though does outdo it in quality by merging both a nice "reset" mechanic and a well-implied larger world that can be easily felt even in the limited setting of the story.
Story D
All those who don't vote will be promptly deported :~)
Between A and B... who am I kidding, I didn't read B because of my age. Maybe when I'm 20 or something, I can come back and read it. As such, my vote for this one is non-existent.
Between C and D, though, I would go with D. I feel like I didn't find everything for D because of the endless combinations you could do with how it was done, but the world felt more fleshed out, even though we didn't see much of it.
Thank you for the compliment! It was a great experience making it and getting such a wonderful team to make it so much better than originally intended! I really have to hand it to the others involved. I think readers can look forward to something like that in the near future :)
In A vs B, it's already a hard decision. I'm not entirely sure whether to go with the written path or the game, but I think I enjoyed the creativity of the game inside the story more, so I'm going to go with Story A.
Between C and D, it's not even close. While story C was good, story D was GREAT. I vote Story D.
Story A vs. Story B: Story A
Story C vs. Story D: Story D
For the first battle of A vs B:
Although it was a very tough decision: I think Story A has my vote. It was simple, the plot was obvious, and the fact there was 3 full blown pinball games in there was great. Replayability is high due to that. At the same time, I can't really fault Story B at all - it really just came down to fun factor in my opinion.
Are you ever going to sleep?
It's the alternate ending where death ceases to exist because he's trapped watching you play pinball for eternity. What a hero.
I think A did better with the addiction prompt, so I vote Story A. I'll get back to this when I finish C and D
I liked D better, although C was really good too. I vote story D.
Story A vs Story B This is a difficult decision, as both stories are very, very different in many ways. I've added my detailed comments to the storygames themselves. Ultimately, this came down to a few factors: Story vs Game It goes without saying that A is a storygame, whereas B is a storygame. While A has amazing gameplay mechanics, adheres more to the theme and has a bit more replayability, B has a more developed storyline with vivid prose and creative worldbuilding. Both had amusing dialogue and were well-written, but that’s where the similarities end. Maybe it’s just the writer in me, but I have to say that on this first ground, a stronger story beats even a really well-coded game. Length & Scope Evidently, Story B exceeds the word count by 3k words. I don’t know whether it’s fair to judge the story as a whole or only read the first 4k words (but I wouldn’t know where that stops either). Ultimately, the larger scope did also end up meaning the main ending was abrupt. Perhaps the stories aren’t really on equal footing where one’s word count is triple of the other. The longer story just has more words to build-up plot, develop character arcs and describe setting details. This has been the recurring theme of the past few storygame contests. Then again, the narrative tone of B was great and spent more time on character interactions, humor, and theme. If word count were to be disregarded, I’d vote for B. Verdict I’m going to go with Story B. Still, it wasn’t an easy choice, I did spend a long time pacing around my room and re-reading the votes here before making a decision. Both authors did really well. My vote for the other two stories would hopefully be posted tonight.
Better late than never, right? Story C vs Story D Similarities & Differences Both stories were really well-written, but utilized different styles. Story C had some really poetic prose descriptions, whereas Story D focused more on dialogue. Each style was chosen well and matched the theme, concept and genre of its story. The type of branching differed too: Story C went with a cave-of-time format, whereas Story D had an interview-style where some choices led to new options. For both, the theme of obsession/addiction was done really well. I found it interesting how in Story C, the metaphorical, emotional state of the obsession was explored, with more abstract descriptions, whereas with Story D, the addiction took a more physical form with concrete imagery. But each one worked well, and they formed the protagonist’s whole goal which propelled the plot of the stories forward. Scope I don’t need to enter my quarter vote since the pizza place is now closed, and I'm trespassing after hours, but the main difference between the two is width vs depth. This is what, in my opinion, distinguished the two stories the most and would have probably played the largest role in my decision. Due to the limited word count, there were two options: to try to cover a vast amount of content, or to narrow the scope more and tackle that storyline in detail. (A tip for university students: I always try to ask my lecturers whether they prefer scope or depth when writing research essays and most of the time, they choose depth, i.e. focus on a few main points but really back them up with supporting arguments). Here, it seems Story C went for width whereas Story D went for depth. As in, Story C had more variety in branches and different paths you could take, as shown by the numerous endings. There were quite a lot of directions the story could go in, from finding love to drowning yourself (edit: I'm now realizing this one liner makes the story sound like Titanic lol). Yet, this meant there were fewer words to develop each branch and plotline. Whereas with Story D, it focused more on one specific event, which I think helped it feel more complete. While this does mean sacrificing some of the branching, by allowing the reader to piece together the full picture of the Maw and the Dominion through each new link, and adding new dialogue options, the story was kept interesting. But both of these were brilliant works and again, it was a very difficult decision. I have newfound respect for End and any other storygame contest judge because deciding between storygames is certainly not an easy task.
MIND GOBLIN!? MIND GOBLIN!?! SPEAK HIS NAME AND HE WILL APPEAR!
I don't have any acid right now, but here's some unsee juice instead:
Cavus, I think Sent wrote B. Was this really that persuasive? Wow!
Fair enough. ^-^ I'll also change my vote to whatever SentinelPenguin didn't write! :D He needs to put his flesh back on.
You put me up against Terry Pratchett!? That's not fair!
I've just finished transferring Mole over to my profile, where it is now published (the original can still be viewed in Sneak Peek on the ThunderdomeArcade account, but they should be pretty much identical anyway aside from some grammatical fixes).
If people would like to transfer their ratings and comments over to the official version, send me a message when you're done, and I'll throw some points your way! Yahoo, bribery!
I love bribery! And Mole, I loved the story too. (Transferred-ish! Decided to write an actual review.)
It's awfully hard to vote when both the stories are the exact same...
Gosh, must have been hallucinating! Time to figure out if it were a dagger or a bag of ashes...
I mean they are STRANGELY similar, but that's going a little far, don't you think?
Vastest apologies. It does seem a bit strange, now that you mention it, though.
A because even though it doesn't seem directly resolved it still seems to have more of an end to it than B which leaves off on a cliffhanger unless I missed something.
Story A:
Plot twist! It was a bag of ashes and a dagger! This story vaguely reminds me of something I've read, but I can't quite place it. Not that that's a bad thing, in fact, I think it adds to the dystopian feeling of the story even more. Now, I quite like this review format, so I'm going to continue with it.
The Good:
The pacing, SPAG, and world building were all just as expected from incredible writers like MHD and Sent. The backstory was believable and quite interesting, and the concept of a 'dead land' is fascinating to me. I wonder what it means in this context.
The Meh:
Of course, there's only so much characterization you can do in these many words. Sticking to being in one character's mind may have helped a bit more.
The Bad:
It got confusing at parts. With all the character switching, I couldn't really tell what was going on until halfway through the story. Also, more importantly, the cliffhanger! Why oh why... I suddenly need to know more and now I'll never get my answers. If Sethra is dead I'm going to cry! What happens to Larthi? All essential questions. The admin who wrote this better release the story. Please.
Personal Insight:
I really liked this one. On the traditional rating scale for the site I'd give it a solid 6/8.
Story B:
This went for a shotgun shell to the Pathos of the reader, I see. The admins are being cruel with us today.
Once again, world building, plot, pacing, SPAG, the works. All near-perfect. The story of this one was more compelling, reminding me of movies about Alien parasites during the Red Scare. (If you aren't from the USA or Russia, the Red Scare was a period of time where the US got very paranoid about communism. Movies of the time reflected it, and many were about hostile beings from outer space, such as 'The Thing.') This story also does an excellent job of focusing on one idea of the main character, yet giving new information. The characterization of both characters was incredible, and if they die, I am now emotionally attached to them and will cry.
The Meh/The Bad:
Really, nothing comes to mind for these two categories. (Except, of course, another cliffhanger.)
Personal Insights:
The only thing holding this story back from a traditional 8/8 on the scale is the length, I feel wrong giving a short story an 8. But it really is that good. 7/8
tl;dr
Please, admins, make both of these into a storygame or a longer story. They're both fantastic and I would love to see more. I'm certainly going to read all of your other stories. Thanks for sharing these. This was a tough decision, I really enjoyed both, but I'm going to cast my vote for Story B.
Both of these were excellent reads, I hate to have to choose between them but for voting purposes I will say I overall preferred Story A.
Story A set the setting well, it almost gave me like a "traveling through the Oregon Trail in dire and desperate circumstances to try and survive to get to the promised land" except even the promised land was something terrible. Traveling through strife only to arrive at what was a boss battle, pretty satisfying even if we don't quite know how it ended.
Story B had a unique take on the prompt, trying to survive a disaster and then taking it into aliens and space. The idea of slowly going through space on a rickety old escape pod and not knowing whether or not you're going to make it is proper nightmare fuel. Like being stuck in the middle of the ocean on an old raft, except you dont have the chance of a helicopter flying by and rescuing you. The ending suggesting an alien made it aboard the pod adds an extra layer of doom as well. I wish we saw that play out a bit more, but I also understand the decision to leave it up to the imagination.
Both stories were fantastic! Either way it goes, it was a good one.
A loud clatter arose in the dimly lit chamber where the Shadowdrake slept. It was not enough to wake him, at first, but as the points continued to clank the beasts eyes shot open. "Who dares pilfer my hoard?" Shadowdrake roared groggily, shaking off two years of slumber. That's when he spotted the commotion in the streets.
Peering with curiosity, he watched as Sentinel and Hatter furiously battled with their words flying back and forth across the page. He listened while the crowd taunted them--occasionally nodding in agreement or scowling in disapproval. Eventually, he was able to gather what was happening.
"If you need me to vote, fine. However, I expect my points to be returned in exchange," he grumbled under his breath to no one in particular. Still unsure of who rifled through his hoard in the dead of night, he continued. "While I can imagine story B is popular among the rabble, I prefer story A! The world building felt more complete. Both stories had a similar theme... and Childs name for some odd reason... but subtle details like the mother in story A giving her daughter the teeth of her dead husband painted a better picture of the world we were visiting in this story. I did have some minor frustrations... like the words that had asterisks around them for *some* reason... or repetitive sentences like 'Fortunately, those who were fortunate...'. However, as a whole I get more immersed in the world from story A than story B which gave little details other than it's a sci-fi futuristic version of earth where you can warp through space and go on a week-long cruise."
Shadowdrake coughed to clear his throat. He hadn't reviewed a writing in quite some time, and it was more time consuming than he remembered. With his rant over, he drifted back in the shadows to lurk around the outskirts of the crowd and guard his dwindling hoard.
Now that the voting is closed, let the record show that the annoying asterisks were meant to be slightly less annoying italics, but I didn't have faith that replacing them all in the editor would keep in the cys pm, and ThunderDomeArcade was forced to speedrun uploading the things over the brief crumbs of wifi she could find in a WWI trench full of flesh-eating moths, so they were never to be replaced.
Unfortunately, unbeknownst to the voters, they were also voting for which mother-child duo would ultimately survive their cliffhanger. It's probably for the best, however. I wouldn't wish even a pre-apocalyptic bronze age life on any but the worst children, and Larthi's skeleton will be very informative to archeologists if it is ever found!
I'm not allowed to vote on this :(
That sounds like a good deal to me. I vote for the one MHD wrote!
you GOBLIN! YOU SWINDLED ME!
If you vote for one of the two tiebreaker stories you'll be elligible for a commemorative profile award!
Yes, vote in thunderdome, for the tiebreaker stories above you, ya numpty
