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A place to sit back, hang out, and talk about anything you'd like.

Risk My Attention (New World Order)

3 months ago

Okay folks, this is how it works now:

You lot can go ahead and recommend things such as:

Comments for featuring or deleting
Storygame changes like different category, maturity level or tags
Storygame featuring or unpublishing

Hyperlink to the story because it’ll just be ignored otherwise.
Post what you’re suggesting to be deleted or changed.
Featured comments will only be considered for stories over a rating 3.0

Probably helps if you explain why you believe something should be changed/featured as well. Especially if it’s for story unpublishing/deletion (Usually anything 2.5 or below is up for purging, though up to 2.9 can be considered)

That’s about it.

You might notice that no points are being given out, but that’s not to say they won’t ever be given out. 

Points just aren’t being given out for being a good citizen automatically. If we notice you doing a lot of this stuff though, we’ll probably still throw a few points your way at some point. Nothing set in stone though. Makes it nice and random that way.

Risk My Attention (New World Order)

2 months ago
Gonna just give this thread the bump it deserves so it doesn't sink into the depths of the lounge and get forgotten. Weirdly, these three games need the "Previously Featured" tag because once upon a time they were featured if you look at the author's point history. Guess it just shows how far the site's standards have risen since then.

Risk My Attention (New World Order)

2 months ago
wtf No.

Risk My Attention (New World Order)

2 months ago
Yes.

Risk My Attention (New World Order)

2 months ago
smh I'm out here giving the thread activity and you're refusing to accept the facts and give those games their required tags

Risk My Attention (New World Order)

2 months ago

Sometimes the outright denial of clear reality is the most comfortable course of action.

Risk My Attention (New World Order)

2 months ago

How did you even find these? Just looking up random games/authors?

Anyway tagged.

Risk My Attention (New World Order)

2 months ago
I found the first one in Dark's points history.

Risk My Attention (New World Order)

2 months ago
On the story Weirdos from Another Planet!

You can find this comment:

don't do attack or drive away. they is badder than getting tan from big boi monster. an old woman molests you so I regret playing, this was good for me to poop on. also its good ASMR so orgasm flow easily. also I have dyslexic so no meane pls. -- Dixie Normus on 12/3/2019 9:33:43 PM with a score of 0

I don't know whether to suggest that it be deleted or commended...

Risk My Attention (New World Order)

2 months ago
orgasm -- spud on 12/3/2019 9:29:32 PM with a score of 0 Removed that one too, and also rated the game a 1/8 which should knock it down enough to unpublish.

Risk My Attention (New World Order)

2 months ago
No one will care if you unpublish everything primates wrote. Most of his games are half broken, utilize an ungodly number of items, and are just a brutal slog of buttons and items.

Risk My Attention (New World Order)

2 months ago
Wow. I hadn't noticed that until I just now went to his profile and check all those stories. Wow.

Risk My Attention (New World Order)

2 months ago
....how did these survive all previous purges?

Anyway, I removed the Weirdos games. I'll get to the rest once I have time to get the points.

Risk My Attention (New World Order)

2 months ago

For I Went to the Graveyard

Feature comments by:  Mizal; RamsayReed

 

I note that the original post for this new thread no longer says to post the full comment being recommended for featured.  I like that change.  It doesn't seem necessary.

Risk My Attention (New World Order)

2 months ago

Mizal did leave more than one review, though. It should still be pretty obvious which one you mean.

Risk My Attention (New World Order)

2 months ago
Feature Reader82 and AustinC's comments on When The Music's Over, replacing NinjaPitka and MicroPenis.

Risk My Attention (New World Order)

2 months ago

For The Book of Vanishing Tales, feature comments by 3iguy, bilbo, and enterpride.

Risk My Attention (New World Order)

2 months ago
Smh Camelon breaks the link to his own story.

Risk My Attention (New World Order)

2 months ago
A lovely comment on Centenarian:

Hey guys let me back in the server Hey guys let me back in the server Hey guys let me back in the server Hey guys let me back in the server Hey guys let me back in the server hey guys let me back in the server Hey guys let me back in the server Hey guys let me back in the server Hey guys let me back in the server Hey guys let me back in the server hey guys let me back in the server Hey guys let me back in the server Hey guys let me back in the server Hey guys let me back in the server Hey guys let me back in the server hey guys let me back in the server Hey guys let me back in the server Hey guys let me back in the server Hey guys let me back in the server Hey guys let me back in the server hey guys let me back in the server Hey guys let me back in the server Hey guys let me back in the server Hey guys let me back in the server Hey guys let me back in the server hey guys let me back in the server Hey guys let me back in the server Hey guys let me back in the server Hey guys let me back in the server Hey guys let me back in the server hey guys let me back in the server Hey guys let me back in the server Hey guys let me back in the server Hey guys let me back in the server Hey guys let me back in the server hey guys let me back in the server Hey guys let me back in the server Hey guys let me back in the server -- Slasher on 1/13/2020 8:43:43 PM with a score of 0

Risk My Attention (New World Order)

2 months ago
That's been brought up, but Canary has never complained.

Risk My Attention (New World Order)

one month ago

Reccommending my comment for featuring on CapturedNecko22's "A Dog's Life" instead of Loon's.

 

 

*SPOILERS*

I'm not really sure how I feel about this one. The overall story was decent and actually enjoyable, but the small details from grammar to character were off-putting enough to distract me from the story.

First, I'll go over the formatting and English issues I saw.

The first thing I noticed after the first few pages was that there *seemed* to be a lot of choices. I was excited that the story was going to have a lot of branching and many different endings based on what you chose, but then I remembered this is a 2/8 and found out most of the choices don't matter. That was a little disappointing.

I noticed a lot of grammatical errors as well. The most noticeable things are that the narration switches constantly from past to present tense then back and that the narration switches from 2nd to 1st person a lot. The second person narration is actually pretty good for the most part, but then the 1st person disrupts the immersion completely. You also use a lot of commas where they shouldn't be. When there's a compound predicate in a sentence (ex: You walked to the store and bought bread.) you often use commas before the conjunction. A comma should not be used in this instance. You also misuse ellipses a couple times that I noticed, using them at the end of complete pages instead of to omit text or show that the narrator is trailing off. The sentence structure could also have used some work. It's often choppy to read because of the same sentence structure over and over.

As for formatting, you often had very short pages with only one link on them. These pages could easily have been added onto other pages to make it seem much less linear. You also had a few times when the use of variables would have been very nice. The pages where you have a list of memories to relive really could have used variables.

Now for the story content itself.

Like I said earlier, I enjoyed the plot of this story. It seemed pretty well thought out, it was just the small details within it that put me off. At the beginning, you suddenly know what humans are even though you were never really given what they're called or what they do. This inconsistency is a common theme throughout the story, so I won't comment on it too much other than that you need to make sure everything makes sense. Speaking of making sense, several of the things that happen don't make any sense at all. The house that's on fire is unlocked, but I'll let that slide. What I will *not* let slide is that you, a puppy, dragged an adult woman out of the house by yourself even though you wouldn't have known she was in any danger and you had no real reason to understand the situation or to drag her out. You also bite Tommy twice (then literally kill him) and don't get put down or taken to the pound for that, which is strange.

Now for characters. I would have liked to see more development with the mother and the other pups so that the protagonist would have a little more emotional attachment to them, but it's ok as it is. Mom doesn't show up much at all except for meaningless interactions after her initial scene. Greg and Tina's romance is a nice subplot that I would have liked to see developed more thoroughly, though this is a dog's story, not theirs. My biggest gripe was with the character of Tommy. It's strange because sometimes he and Greg seem like best friends, but sometimes like they're mortal enemies. Tommy is characterized as a kid who's just a little misguided for most of the book, then he suddenly is a psychopath that kills dogs and girls who don't love him. That could have been built up so much better. Signs could have been dropped here and there showing his tendencies and possibility of erratic behavior. The interactions between characters are sometimes weird as well, specifically the dialogue.

For my final thoughts, this was alright for a first storygame, but it could have been a lot better. The small details within the plot and the writing just needed some ironing out and a lot of proofreading.

-- Megumeme on 2/3/2020 6:30:54 PM with a score of 0

Risk My Attention (New World Order)

one month ago

Recommend Shadowdrake's comment for featuring in The Essucian Dragon.

The Essucian Dragon

Risk My Attention (New World Order)

one month ago

I'm unsure if this is eligible (seeing as how there are only 4 comments on the story), but I'd like to recommend my comment for featuring on Vicious Moles of Nature by Bill Ingersoll.

Risk My Attention (New World Order)

one month ago

I think the time for A Day in the Life of a Rich Girl

has come.  It is scoring in the "1"s deservedly.  Unpublish.

Risk My Attention (New World Order)

one month ago
Whoops, I meant to do that the other day.

Risk My Attention (New World Order)

one month ago
In my game Venetian's tears http://chooseyourstory.com/story/venetian's-tears I want suggest two comments to feature.

Risk My Attention (New World Order)

one month ago

There are only two comments on your story in total so far. Also, it's good to put the names of those you think should be featured here. I'm not sure Snail's should be featured though, since while overall a good review it has major spoilers about the contents of the endings.

Risk My Attention (New World Order)

one month ago
Well, I have seen before, spoilers reviews commended. And Even if I only have two comments so far, I hope had more, lol. And both are really good description of the game. Still, that is adms work

Risk My Attention (New World Order)

one month ago
It's a brand new game, usually we let them sit for a bit and accumulate reviews. This thread is more for stuff that slipped off the New Games list and missed our notice. Those will likely end up featured but there's no rush.