Forums » The Lounge » Read Thread

There are many automated ways to get points (duels, storygames, daily points, articles, etc.) but I also try to give points out for other forms of contributions. Currently, I'm trying to give points out for:

Having a comment featured (2 points)
Contributing excellent aid in the advenced editor forum (Variable Points)

But, I'm a busy guy and it's pretty tough to keep track of everything that's happening, so I'm also giving points out for the following:

Recommending a comment for featuring (1 point)
Recommending a user's excellent aid in the last six months for points (1 point)
Recommending a tag change for a storygame (1 point)
Recommending a storygame for movement to a different category (1 point)
Recommending a storygame for a change in maturity level or difficulty level (1 point for each)
Recommending a storygame for featuring (1 point)
Recommending a storygame for unpublishing (1 point)
Recommending a comment for deletion (1 point)

So, in other words, if you go, right now, and find 5 storygames which are not properly tagged (there are literally dozens of these out there), then you'll get 5 points.

The catch: to get points for recommending something, I have to agree with you. If you recommend a story for featuring and I don't feature it, then you don't get the points. This is to prevent people from gaming the system. Don't worry, for most of the above reccomendations, you won't get rejected often if you follow proper procedure.

However, you need to follow the correct procedure to get your points!

Recommending a comment for featuring:

Reply to THIS thread to THIS post with:
- A link to the storygame
- The comment that you think deserves featuring (copy and paste it)
- The username of the person who wrote the comment (doesn't have to be the exact username, just enough so I understand who it is)
- If there are already 3 featured comments on the storygame, you also have to let me know whose comment you think should be replaced.
- If I agree, you will get 1 point and the person whose comment is featured will get 2 points. If you are reccomending your own comment, then you only get 2 points.

Recommending a comment for deletion:

Reply to THIS thread to THIS post with:
- A link to the storygame
- The comment that you think deserves deletion (copy and paste it)
- The username of the person who wrote the comment (doesn't have to be the exact username, just enough so I understand who it is)

It has to either have spammy punctuation, flame the author, be completely incomprehensible, be a duplicate comment, or not actually be a comment (such as "..." or "poop" or something).

Note: Do not recommend comments on Endmaster's or madglee's games for deletion unless they are spammy or deformed. Basically, Endmaster and madglee like to read their flamers so don't rob them of that.

 

Recommending a user's aid in the advanced editor (post must be made in the last 6 months)

Reply to THIS thread to THIS post with:
- The user who provided the aid
- A link to the post where he provided the aid

Recommending a tag change for a storygame

Reply to THIS thread to THIS post with:
- A link to the storygame
- All of the tags you believe the story should have

Recommending a category change for a storygame

Reply to THIS thread to THIS post with:
- A link to the storygame
- The category you believe it should be in
- A short explanation of why

Recommending a change in maturity or difficulty level for a storygame

Reply to THIS thread to THIS post with:
- A link to the storygame
- The change you think should be made
- A short explanation of why

Recommending a storygame for featuring

Use http://chooseyourstory.com/forums/the-parlor-room/message/11750

Recommending a forum thread for deletion

Reply to THIS thread to THIS post with:
- A link to the thread
- A short rationale for why

Recommending a storygame for unpublishing

Reply to THIS thread to THIS post with:
- A link to the storygame
- A short explanation of why

If you don't follow protocol, either there will be no negative repercussions, you will be ignored, or I'll take your advice and not reward you with points. Following protocol expedites the process for me so I don't have to spend a lot of time making changes.

To summarize: post here (for the most part) with recommendations for who I should reward / what I should change and I'll reward you with points.

Thank you! Happy Hunting!

Recommend these comments for deletion.

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/mysterious-kitten

-- Nuclearwarfareaw10 on 8/9/2013 4:59:04 AM

Meh

-- CovElite on 1/3/2013 6:09:42 PM

Meh

Agreed on both!

They're essentially the same comment, so it would be funny if you'd say agree on one, but disagree on the other one! xD

Recommending a comment for deletion:

- http://chooseyourstory.com/story/mysterious-kitten

- Boring.

-- JJJ

Side note: Shame on you 3J :p

That was ten years ago, lmao. So JJ was like what? 12? Hahahahaha!

That comment is fine, actually. Shame on you Danaos!

Recommending a storygame for deletion:

- the survivors of the virus advanced

- This storygame contains the following that makes it subject to be deleted.

• Grammar and style poor enough that it cannot be ignored
• A plot which is poor or nonexistent
• Poor pacing (usually characterized by frequent and unpredictable end game links)
• A lack of important decisions
• Length of 1/8

- For the love of all things good and evil 3J, PLEASE just delete this game. It is awful, the worst I have ever seen and has absolutely no redeeming qualities. I'd go so far as to say that it's a troll story. Don't even give me points if need be. Just make it go away.

actually the length is listed as 2/8 - however I agree the game sucks and should be deleted.

Fool! Did you not read my review? How could you expose your eyes to such...horror.

1 free point xD

You think I should ask to get my comment featured too? o_o

Go for it xD lol

Agreed and deleted!

Damn...I just lost out on two more points.

Recommending a comment for featuring:

http://chooseyourstory.com/forums/the-lounge/new-reply?postId=379072

This quiz is really well done. Possibly one of the best I've seen on this site.

The grammar was fine for the most part. Although you did mess up on a few pages, it's nothing that's constantly in my face as I go through the quiz.

At first I'll admit, I thought the choices were illusions. That they didn't matter whatsoever. Once I got to the ending, I was honestly amazed with how much they actually mattered. I appreciate how this quiz gives the reader a great number of choices per page. You will have at LEAST five choices, maybe six, in each page. This ensures that the reader won't look at the available options and think to themselves, "Well none of these apply to me".

I myself have never played Magic: The Gathering, but this no doubt piques my interest. If you are a fan of Magic: The Gathering, you will no doubt enjoy this quiz. If you are a fan of magic in general, you will no doubt enjoy this quiz. I would recommend this to anyone who enjoys a bit of fantasy.

"Magic: What guild are you?" gets a well deserved 6/8. Needless to say, it's worth every cent.

All fear the might of the Orzhov Syndicate! Colors: White/Black

-- Danaos on 6/29/2014 3:51:19 PM with a score of -22

I am not sure about this one but it is very well formatted and certainly gives good feedback.

Recommending a comment for deletion:

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/the-hunt-for-cake-2~3a-another-short-story-about-cake

Ge

-- Loudleaf on 6/30/2014 12:52:02 AM with a score of 0

I am not sure what "Ge" means. Probably nothing.

Recommending a comment for featuring:

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/warrior-cats~2dthe-new-warrior~2d-part-1

Warrior Cats again? Ok, well let me put my reviewer glasses on.

As always I will start with grammar. The grammar in this story is significantly worse than your last one. It's bad to the point that I have to reread many parts just to figure out what is going on. You're punctuation and capitalization especially need work. Even on the first page you didn't even capitalize the name of a character. 'Moonpool' is what I think the name was. The dialogue at times can be a bit confusing. The last thing you want to do is make your reader over-think the story. It does nothing but frustrate. Also, on the page for 'WindClan', do not use those kinds of colors. I personally found it difficult to read.

Now for the story. The first sentence was probably the worst one in this entire story. Why? Because it is just awkward. It says that I'm 'apparently in the middle of nowhere'. Am I lost, deserted, or what? Simply putting the word 'apparently' had me wondering if I'm even lost at all. It's like we can hear your [the author's] commentary as you are writing the story. Once again, we have a rushed story that spans only a few pages.

I had told you this in my last review and I'm telling you again. Do not use parenthesis in the choices to explain something that is already apparent. At least not the way you do it. You put in parenthesis that we don't have a choice, but it's the ONLY choice on the page. You don't have to put 'it the only choice' on the only choice on the page. It is bothersome to look at. It makes people think, "Really? It's my only choice...I didn't know."

Do better next time. Until you do, your stories will not go past the rating of 2/8. And will receive nothing but chocolate rain because of it.

-- Danaos on 6/29/2014 4:10:49 PM

Again, very good format and it seems to cover most aspects, in detail, of the game.

Agreed on all points, but that last comment is extremely ironic.

"You're punctuation and capitalization especially need work."

"You're punctuation and capitalization especially need work."

Hah I missed that :D

Sorry about linking the quiz wrong.

Damn it!

u nid 2 wook on you're spallin, dood. 

I had to use Google to translate that :D

Recommending a category change for a storygame:

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/1960%27s-pop-culture-quiz

Everything Else

This is a quiz but I don't think it is educational.

Agreed.

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/jkvz

It's one page long and consists solely of the letters "lololololol"

Done.

Wasn't that unpublished?

Recommending a comment for featuring:

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/being-slenderman~3a-chapter-1

This is a perfect example of a story that could have been great, but fails completely. This turned out to be a major disappointment.

Grammar? It's actually fine. A few minor mistakes here and there, but nothing that can't be ignored or takes away from the story.

The real issue is the story itself. The author does a good job putting you into the position of Slender Man. You actually feel as though you are stalking your prey. Watching them slowly as you wait for the right moment to strike. However, that is also where this story fails.

I was hoping that there could be some more options of hunting my prey. Maybe picking them off one by one. They can't see me but they know I'm there, and it won't help them. I could torture my prey by playing games with them and finally finishing them off. That WOULD be cool, but this game has none of that.

The story is essentially a few pages long, even so it's a decent short. As I stated above, it lacks a decent variety of choices, and this leaves more to be desired. You'll find yourself getting into the story, and by the end you'll just say, "Wait...that's it?"

Lastly, this game commits one of the biggest errors a story of this potential could ever possible commit. There is NO replayability. None whatsoever! When you get to the end, it will say you have gotten either ending A or B. So this naturally makes you want to play through it again to unlock the alternate ending. Then when you get that ending...you find out that it's SAME ending as before. The same. Exact. Ending. This is like a big "Fuck You!" to the readers. It gets your hopes up for a different ending just for you to see that no such thing exists.

My final verdict for 'Being SlenderMan: Chapter 1' is a 2/8. It is a good story. Good...for you to poop on.

I would have given it a 3/8, heck maybe even a 4/8 but the errors in this story leave too much fault. Hopefully if there is a chapter 2, it will deliver much more.

-- Danaos on 6/30/2014 10:46:02 PM

It covers most aspects of the game in a well formatted manor.

Recommending a category change for a storygame:

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/me-my-sister-and-frozen

Fan Fiction

It is based off of "Frozen"

Agreed on both!

Recommending comment for featuring.

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/me-my-sister-and-frozen

First impression: This game is *long.* There's clearly been some effort put into making a lengthy story, but it adds up to lots of tedious clicking through linear pages with no choices.
The basic idea is a direct retelling of the movie Frozen, but with "you" and your sister Kate added in as characters.

The writing style of :

Kate: I don't want to go to the party
Olaf: but there will be some snowmen
Kate: all right
They agreed to go.

doesn't really work for me. It's not a script, it's a story- please write out the dialogue properly.

Comment left by Sethaniel.

I don't think that comment is quite feature-worthy.

Recommending category change

- http://chooseyourstory.com/story/choose-your-own-fairytale~3a-snow-white

- Change to Fan Fiction

- This is based off of Snow White.

 

Agreed

Recommending a storygame for unpublishing.

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/the-pandemic-

The story is unfinished and has numerous dead links.

Hi Bucky, when recommending a storygame for deletion, please show how it violates minimum site standards.

It's not even published yet.

It was, author must've unpublished it after reading the one comment on it.

Wuss...or someone who plans on using your feedback to improve his game...I honestly don't know.

The guy is planning to revise it.

It's actually not that bad, only that it's unfinished. Besides, the length was like 5/8, not at all short. 

Filled with grammar errors and dead ends.

Meh. The author just has a tendency to publish unfinished stories, thus some dead ends, and a few grammatical errors; it's pretty understandable.   

That is neither a defense or justifiable.

It's an explanation. 

It's irrelevant.

To you. 

To the result of the situation.

nmel, Drak is 100% right and you have a really annoying habit of not knowing when to admit that you're wrong. You'd do better to cut your losses and keep your reputation up rather than the other way around.

Huh. Kill Aman's Mustache fits in this condition:

• The storygame is not a storygame and is instead intended to fulfill a goal such as communicating with another member (including all inside jokes) or advertising a product.

>_>
<_<

Please don't delete it. 

Agreed. Deleted.

:P

In reality though, while it is an inside joke, it is also a solid storygame (I think? I haven't actually read it) so it doesn't fit that description.

Ah, okay. It certainly is a storygame and not only inside jokes, ha ha. Just mostly.inside jokes. XD

Recommending deletion of a forum comment:

http://chooseyourstory.com/forums/newbie-central/message/12935#382423

NOODLESNOODLESNOODLESNOODLESNOODLESNOODLE...

Noodles - Battle Royale Gameplay one minute ago

I don't think I need to explain this. He also did something in another RP but it wasn't this bad.

Recommending a tag change for a storygame:

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/1960%27s-pop-culture-quiz

Quiz

'Tis a quiz not a puzzle

Got the Quiz - couldn't find the silly post.

Got it earlier :)

Agreed.

Like Shooting Bitches in a Barrol need deleted.

Hmm...I wonder who the one 8 rating on that game could be from, haha. ; )

It isn't even published. Not anymore at least.

It has 62 of 1's ratings. :P

It's not published?
 

It was published. Thus the ratings. 

Obviously. What is your point?

Um. Answering your question? 

Nmelssx, what was my question? I asked if it was published or not. I asked because I wanted to know if BerkaZerka knew to only recommend published games (and made a mistake) or if madglee had just already gotten to it but decided not to delete it. I did not ask if it ever was published. Considering I was the one who unpublished it originally, and that it's got so many ratings, I think I could have figured out if it had ever been published. It might seem like I'm being hard on you right now, but you're constantly being a smart ass in every single thread and it's not doing anything for you. You're damaging your reputation with most members on the site and you'll do much better for yourself if you:

A) Stop before posting, and decide whether or not you're actually contributing to the discussion.
B) Stop acting like a know-it-all
C) Learn to admit when you're wrong and
D) Stop trolling women on the site.

Thanks,
3J

Whoa! All I did was tried to answer your question! No need to go on a tangent. 

There's nothing tangential about my post. Either you are severely lacking in reading comprehension, or (more likely), you're trolling (as per usual) and it won't be tolerated.

I'll try to leave your questions alone in the future then. Would definitely save me a lot of trouble. 

Wait, do you mean it was published today when he said that?!

Of course. o.O

It was published in April, which is what I thought you were nonsensically referring to. I'm sorry for jumping to conclusions.

Oh well. My feelings are already hurt. 

It's still true, man. I can show you a bunch of cases where you won't admit to being wrong, or you intentionally troll, especially troll women. You shouldn't do that. In this case, I definitely 100% overreacted and was in the wrong and I'm legitimately sorry about it.

...Well anyway, to answer you question. The story was published for about a week and it got nothing but negative comments and ratings. I think Ford requested it unpublished before I was able to get to it. I'm guessing Berka might have caught it republished recently.

I'm wondering how it got unpublished again. The author must have done it. That's why I was confused, since madglee hasn't been on in July and he's the only other one who could do it.

What? That's impossible that it was republished today. The author hasn't been on since April.

Do I seriously need to take my apology back? For fucks sakes haha.

*shows bombs* Now now 3J let's not 'blow' this out of proportion. He might have not known.

I... wut.
How do you not realize something wasn't published today. How.

If he didn't know, why did he post as if he knew. Seems like he was answering a question that he wasn't qualified to answer.

Yes, and I will confirm that.

How did it get published today if the author hasn't logged on since April? @jamescoker1226

How did James commented on it just yesterday if it wasn't published? 

He read it while unpublished?

...You can't. 

Yes you can.

He commented on 7/3/2014...that's today. You can still comment on a game if you have a link to it. As long as the sneak preview is on, which in this case it is.

How do you have a link to a story if the author haven't been on in months? 

There are quite a few ways to do so. I've done it myself many times. Also, we've posted the link in a previous thread. Berka could have used that, or one of the many methods used to check an unpublished story. Again, it isn't hard to do.

Aman's post is also a method. MadBrad admitted to doing this on accident by going through people's points.

...I was under the impression that you cannot comment on somebody's story if it's yet to be publish. Guess I was wrong, huh? 

Yes, my turning on sneak peak, people can view the game. But, only if you give them the URL or they find it.

...Still if this is JJ's response to every time when someone try to answer his question, regardless whether they're right or wrong, then I guess it's better if we just let him figure it out himself, huh? Would definitely save us a lot of trouble.   

Yes, that's definitely my response every time someone tries to answer a question that I pose, not just when someone who is consistently snarky does. If you consistently troll/act annoying, you can't play the victim when people call you out on it when you didn't mean to be annoying. Boy who cries wolf.

Woof! Woof! 

I would throw in my two cents, but I can't remember what the fox says.

See, this is one of those annoying things that you do, rather than admitting that you were wrong (like I did, just above, and apologized for it), you post some stupid response and then never revisit it. This is literally the third time you've responded to me in the exact same fashion and it's part of the reason that you're getting the reactions that you're getting.

It's true man, 3J is so mean. Once he asked if I had a cat or a dog, and when I answered him...he threw a water bottle at me! I couldn't stop crying!

Seriously though, you were going back and forth with Drak not too long ago so he may have thought you were trying to do the same now.

He also legitimately harassed Zikara on another thread and vote rigged the first storygame he created. He's got a track record.

Damn. Now that's just mean. I would never throw a water bottle at someone just cause they answer my question! 

Seriously though, I haven't gone back and forth with Drak for a long time, so it was bound to happen.  

You vote rigged your storygame?

Yeah. I totally voted my own story game 8/8, for like 30 times, then I had to vote it 1/8 60 times, so it wouldn't be deleted. 

I'm not even sure how that's possible, aside from using multiple accounts. But, funnily enough, I have seen troll games with 8/8 score. They usually don't hang around too long though. Right, 3J?

I just spam clicks it 30 times, all at once. It shows up as 30 votes. o.o

I've accidently done that before, but I think it's only weighed as, like, one vote or so.

If only that was so then JJ wouldn't have threatened to delete it. xD

Well, I noticed when I did it, I had about seven 8s, two 4's, and 5 or two. Yet, somehow, my game still had only a 5.

Your votes mean more when you have more experience points. 

Non-user's votes means the least. User's votes means the second least. Those who have points over 500 means around the same. Mods' means every more. Admin's means almost the most. Alexp's means the god vote. 

Oh, so I just need to get Alexp to like my games, huh? Jkjkjk.

That would be hard, since he's almost never on. XD

Play BZ's point record.

To summarize this exchange: Both nmelssx and I make fools of ourselves and everyone else proves to be great! Perfect!

Again, I left a comment and then went back later to see that it was gone. The game editors always warns that unpublishing a game will result in a loss of the comments and any saved games, so I made that assumption that the game had been unpublished. I did not see that the author wasn't on since April.

Wait, what are you confirming?

He was confirming (extremely incorrectly) what nmelssx was saying, I think.

I am sorry. When I saw the game, I was under the assumption that it had been published recently. My bad. I assumed it was published and then unpublished because I made a comment on it, but when I went back to that page a few hours later, my comment was gone. I feel, however, that I did have a legitimate reason for making that comment.

Your comment was gone because the story got deleted. ;P

No it didn't....
 

The only other way would be if an admin had deleted the comments, so yes it did. 

An admin may very well have deleted my comment. If I remember correctly, I think I told the author that he was a terrible person and that he should go to Hell, but I've honestly forgotten what all I put. Well, wait, I did leave another comment that said "And, oh, thanks for the free point." or something like that.

There was no point in deleting your comments, since they're true. Because honestly, a one page description of lining people up then shooting their brains out? What in the fuckity fuck is that even? 

I suppose, but I'm just saying that I had every right to believe that the game was published at the time I made that comment. JJJ was implying that I was "extremely incorrect" in confirming that the storygame was published. While I was technically incorrect, there was (what I feel was) a legitimate reason for my assumption. 

No, he wasn't implying anything. He was straight out saying that you're "extremely incorrect", and he does this often, so there's really no need to explain to him why you thought the way you did, because it's just as likely that he'll throw it back in your face, and laughs merrily, sitting on his chair back at home. 

nmelssx, james was wrong and JJ was confirming that. Stop being stupid and blowing things out of proportion.
 

Blowing things out of proportion? Open your eyes and see; I'm not the only one. Just trying to follow in JJ's footsteps, as we all should do. 

Actually he apolozized when he thought he was wrong, you didn't. I think JJ is in a much better position than you.
 

Apologizing after you beat someone up doesn't really do shit to the fact that you already did. How about some random stranger come up to you in the street, and beating the shit out of you, then apologizes for it? "Sorry, dude, I thought you were someone else." I'm sure it would make you feel a lot better...crabgrass. 

Some random dude wouldn't come and beat me up first off.

Second, how is beating someone up and apologizing similar to having a discussion and apologizing for being wrong....

"Stick and bones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me." Let's have a discussion - with our fists. Some random dudes would most definitely come up to you, and jump you, depending on where you live...Having a discussion? Is that what you call it when you're the one being discussed? I would hope for that day when we do have a 'discussion' about you, and when it happens and you complains about the discussion, we can just throw your words back in your face. "Oh, we were just having a 'discussion' about you, crabgrass. No hard feelings, right?"    

"depending on where you live" - Precisely the point I was making

They already have discussed me and I didn't moan because I knew they were right and I was wrong. If you find the right threads you will know this.

Hmmm, you sound like a certain otter. 

I will assume that is a member of the site and you not being immature.

That is indeed a member of this site, or at least was. Haven't seen her around in a while. :D

He was referring to HugsGoodbye.

Oh I remember her.

I think it was a "him". It doesn't really matter, I guess, but I do kinda wonder where the little seal rapist got off too.

If it got deleted, how did I manage to get access to it? It was not deleted at the time that I saw my comment gone. It may very well be gone now.

Comments never get wipe out when I unpublished my stories, so I don't see how your comment disappear unless the story was deleted, or if an admin deleted it? Your comment, that is. 

I have noticed that comments on unpublished games tend not to stay there, either way the game isn't deleted. Like Shooting Bitches in a Barrol

If you can even call it a game...

'Tis a game, a very bad one but that is what it is.
 

So you're implying that this is a game too?

A goat went up a hill. A goat went down a hill. 

The End

Please leave good comments, and don't flame my story, plz! 

No because that isn't a game, that is your imagination.

I use game in the generic sense, if it is on the site and I can play it, I will refer to it as a story or a game.

Please. Don't be so 'pedantic', of course I was referring to if that was made into a story game. 

What is the problem? I answered the question in the next line anyway.

Who's the one picking details and ignoring what I actually wrote.

What comes around goes around. Did you really expect me to do not to you, what you did to me? Please. 

You sound so stupid right now. I actually don't care about someone being pedantic....

If you didn't care, then why did you respond? Sounds to me like you care a lot, but is just too ashamed to admit it...you crabgrass. 

Because you were being hypocritical. You were moaning about me being pedantic when you were in fact doing the same thing.

I did it on purpose, so you would understand it from the victim's viewpoint, obviously, so no, I wasn't being hypocritical.  

Victim.....
 

Yes, that's what you are now, a victim. 

I have no words.

Then for Christ's sake, leave your text box empty, you fool! 

Technically speaking, I do not have any words in my possession :D

What...what does that even mean? >.<

Nmelssx... do you have to provide a perfect example of what I was talking about up above, in the same, goddamn, thread?
 

Should be deleted. It fulfills the 5 things I think. Troll game. http://chooseyourstory.com/story/warrior-cats~2dthe-final-prophecy

Another easy point...I don't whether to be happy or sad.

Agreed.

Wow... I had to step away from the computer and when I come back... so much stuff haha!

But to clarify - no, 'Shooting Bitches' was not published again.

I saw Jame's Comment on it, which lead me to ask myself why this troll game was still hanging around - so I posted here that it should be Deleted (as 'unpublished' is not enough justice for this blatant troll POS).

Sorry, my comment was a little too much, I know. I apologize for being so...blunt.

As a rule, stick to published games for this thread. :)

Recommending a comment for featuring:

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/lost-from-nowhere

Hi guys...I'm Jake. I'm lost and I need to find out where I should go. There you go everyone, I've just given you the entire plot of this storygame. Your welcome...yes that's it. Did you expect more? Ha!

The grammar in this story is below average. You mess up quite a few times on both the links and the pages themselves. You don't even capitalize the dialogue despite it being the first word on the page. AND, you didn't even edit the first page that tells us that it's the first page. If that's not enough for you, almost every page has two sentences. TWO!

The story here is nonexistent. I already knew it would not be very good the second I saw 'The First Page' of the storygame. You are some guy names Jake and you're lost. That is the WHOLE story. It's only a few pages long, and that's if you make the right choices. The choices here are an illusion and will constantly send you back to different parts of the story. Not only that but it can end so abruptly that it will take you off guard. I'd say that 75% of the links in this game result in death. No rhyme or reason, you just die. Some pages give you the option to take the right path, despite dying, or ending the game. I recommend that if you see that, just end the game. There is nothing more to see.

The dialogue is...well there isn't much dialogue, but what's there isn't good. It's awkward, there is no immersion, and it just feels forced.

The character in this story has no development at all. Hell, he doesn't even try to regain his memory or find out how he got to where he is. He's as dry and boring as cardboard.

My final verdict for 'Lost from nowhere' is a 1/8. I'd tell you to stay away but you're probably going to read it anyway.

-- Danaos on 7/3/2014 11:23:05 PM

It is another well formatted comment which seems to cover most, if not all, aspects of the story in a detailed manner. 'Tis very clear grammar also.

^ I disagree.

I don't think there is any value to featuring any comments of games that are not rated at least a 3 or higher after the rating settle.

Nor do I think we should reward snarky sarcasm.

That and I find a boiler-plate-like similarity between all on Danaos's Comments of late, as if they are all just being copy/pasted.

I don't think there's any reason not to feature comments on low-rated storygames. I've personally featured many Briar_Rose comments on crap storygames, because she does a great job of reviewing the faults and providing great constructive feedback. I don't see why we wouldn't want to feature comments on low rated storygames.

In general, snarky sarcasm is not a good quality in a comment though, we can agree on that.

Danaos' comments are fairly similar, but that's not a problem for me, as long as he isn't copy and pasting. If a comment is good enough to get featured on one storygame, and a similar comment is posted elsewhere, it should be featured there too because we're striving for consistency.

@BerkaZerka

I didn't notice any similarities in my comments, and I don't copy/paste.

This isn't quite feature-worthy. It's a bit overly snarky and the writing doesn't flow as well as usual. That being said, it's definitely okay to recommend comments from low-rating storygames.

Recommending a tag change for a storygame:

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/singing-gone-internatinal

 

I don't think it should have any of the tags it currently has. It certainly isn't an RPG, it doesn't seem like it was Geared For Children and I really disagree with it being Socially Important. It doesn't tackle or showcase any important issues in a well thought manner to be considered for the Socially Important if you ask me.

Agreed. I've also penalized the author for adding a geared for children tag and then not gearing it for children.

Recommending a comment for deletion:

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/Warrior-Cats-Adventure

:D

-- Dawnpaw on 7/2/2014 5:02:09 PM

I don't think emoticons are very helpful.

Agreed.

Recommending comment for featuring:

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/the-war-part-2

Instead of breaking these off into separate parts, you should make it one long story. That would improve the rating some.

This story comes off to me as a rough draft than an actual storygame. You didn't edit some parts of the story, and those parenthesis bothered me from start to finish. While there is a fair amount of text on many of your pages, there are a couple that aren't even needed in the storygame.

I don't know what it is with these parenthesis but you really need to stop using them. It actually distracts from the story because when you get to that part it sort of breaks you off. Instead of putting (insert name here)paw why don't you just give the main character an actual name. Because every time I see it, I literally read my name as "(insert name here)paw".

The romance part of this story is forced and has no real build up to it.
"Hey I like you."
"I like you to, let's marry each other sometime."
That basically sums it up. If there was actually more character development in this storygame, the romance would have actually been worth something, and the reader can actually feel something.

Finally, on the last page you told us that you were trying to get this out as quick as possible. WHY?! Take your time when making a story. There are little to no stories on this site, or anywhere, that were finished quickly. It takes time and focus. I personally that you have potential to make a great Warrior Cat storygame, but you still need to make some improvements.

My final verdict on 'The War Part 2' is a 2/8. It's on the right path of improvement but needs some more polish.

Comment left by Danaos.

Same problem as the rest of D's comments. Messed up grammar. 

I'll agree with that, but he always tries to point the writer in the correct direction.

Yeah I caught the mistakes after I had already posted. It's hard for me to catch them all from the comment box before it is posted. I don't know how many you caught, but I only see one mistake.

There are multiple words missing. Otherwise this would be featurable, take your own advice and don't rush to get your writing out.

I only see one between 'personally' and 'that', I was supposed to put 'think'. Everything else is intentional.

"This story comes off to me as a rough draft than an actual storygame. "

You intentionally wrote that sentence?

Mmhmm. There should be a 'more' in there somewhere. Is there anything else wrong with it?

"I like you to, let's marry each other sometime."
I dunno if you did it on purpose, but 'to' is supposed to be 'too'.

Shouldn't sometime be sometimes?

Rather? What's it missing?

Got one for you to delete. Guess they clicked the button a bunch of times and this comment was posted 3 times.

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/death-song

It was really well writen and I find it hard to see how every ending was "horrible", as I was led to believe. It took a while, but I believe I got that "win" ending. I managed to survive for 40 years after the Nuro incident and died peacefully with one last song. The story did get dry in parts though, and it was not so much a "choice" game rather than a surviving one; however, you are a brilliant writer and capture melancholy and death like no other - for this I applaud you.
Death Song
Addison 7/4/2014 5:19:51 PM
 

Done

Storygame Unpublishing

Link to game - http://chooseyourstory.com/story/Who-wants-to-be-a-Christian~3f

Explanation - Offensive and obviously made out of spite. You can't beat the game, either. Even non-religious people find it offensive. Look at the comments.

 

If you'd like to submit a storygame for deletion, please explain how it fails to meet minimum site standards.

"You can't beat the game"

I have just beaten it, I think you are referring to how you can't beat the quiz but I don't see why that matters.

After reading it, I really don't think it breaks the minimum standers.

 

Recommending a comment for featuring:

 

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/help-us~2e

Well, where to start... Your story has the potential to be good (even though the zombie genre is a little bit overrepresented lately). However, in the state it is in at the moment, it isn't.

I personally don't really like choose-your-story games in which the reader doesn't really have a choice (it kinda beats the purpose of CYS stories). Take the first pages of your story for example: The reader only has one real choice to continue the story, as the other ones lead to a death scene.

This of course wouldn't be the end of the world in a good story. However, the end links in your story are (in my opinion) very random since they are in no way logical consequences of the choices of the reader. (Oh, I killed my friend, I'm gonna run away until I get run over by a truck).

I also advice you to check your spelling and grammar, and especially the punctuation, of your story before publishing it. The complete lack of punctuation is very distracting to readers and makes your story harder to understand.

There are some story-technical stuff (like the very fast and irregular pacing, the little amount of descriptions, etc.) that I personally would like to see improved, but I guess that ultimately it's for you to decide how to write your story. As I said before, your story definitely has potential and it is better than your previous one so that means your already improving as a writer. However, due to the things I have listed above I have given your story a 3/8.

One last piece of advice if you want to re-write this story or want to write a new one: look at other popular and highly rated stories on this site to see examples of how you can write a good story. There are quite a few decent/good zombie stories for example.

Good luck writing!

-- Romulus on 7/4/2014 3:13:42 PM

This is another good comment that is well formatted and seems to incorporate most aspects of the story in a detailed manner. It also gives advice to the author.

Agreed. Wish he'd write 'advise' instead of 'advice' though. Still, that's a truly phenomenal comment. @Romulus

Thanks for the compliment! And sorry, I didn't realize 'advice' isn't a verb...

It's similar to the difference between effect and affect

Comment for deletion: http://chooseyourstory.com/story/zombie-flesh-riot

it was almose

-- happy on 10/16/2013 9:30:01 AM

Got it.

Thanks!!

Recommending a comment for deletion:

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/test-your-knowledge~3a-the-fellowship-of-the-ring

I am Dave Makintier.

-- Dave Makintier on 2/19/2013 5:20:44 PM with a score of 1450

I don't think this is relevant to the quiz at all. It isn't very helpful either.

Wow - you are digging deep for comments to delete now haha! (But that is a good thing) - got iot BTW :)

Thanks!

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/life-sucks

UNPUBLISH THIS STORY

The reason is because, it in somehow is offensive to overweight people, the author did put a note in the description to warn people but still, people might not read the description.

Hey, WBP. This is just a hint, but you should probably check the storygame standards published in the "Help & Info" section. There are certain criteria a storygame must meet before 3J will consider unpublishing it.

Edit: Here they are.

• After receiving at least 7 ratings and being published for at least 1 week, the storygame is rated 1/8
• After receiving at least 7 ratings and being published for at least 1 week, the storygame is rated 2/8 and its length is 1/8
• The storygame has all of the following characteristics:
  • Grammar and style poor enough that it cannot be ignored
  • A plot which is poor or nonexistent
  • Poor pacing (usually characterized by frequent and unpredictable end game links)
  • A lack of important decisions
  • Unbelievable or overly cliched dialogue (if dialogue is present in the story)
• The storygame's central concept is pornographic in nature
• The storygame is not a storygame and is instead intended to fulfill a goal such as communicating with another member (including all inside jokes) or advertising a product.

I've read and reread the story and that one part referencing fat people doesn't constitute deletion. Also, it doesn't fall into all of the categories needed for deletion.

I'm assuming you didn't read it yourself since you're just going off of what is in the description.

Please see Danoas' and especially James' posts. They are dead on the money.

@WildBillPeacock

Thanks for helping but can you please tell us which of the "Minimum Site Standards for Storygames" it breaks? Also, I think putting things in the description is enough.

Also, try to make the URL a hyperlink, it will help JJ a lot!

You're the best :)

Recommending a comment for featuring:

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/life-sucks

Well, I don't think I can add much more than you already said yourself in the description. This game has potential: it's (somewhat) funny and there is at least some work put into writing it (which is a big plus), but as you say yourself: it is (kinda) bad.

I understand that you wanted to make a game about how much life sucks and to be honest I kinda like the idea (though I'd also like to recommend some excellent support groups to you, just in case...). However, the way you wrote your game is, to be honest, quite boring. Maybe I you'd write some more on each page and put some more jokes/rants into it, it would be better. Of course, this is ultimately your decision to make.

I'm also kinda disappointed by the limited amount of real choices I have as a reader, most of them just lead to a death (or a quite literal rage quit) scene.

However, I do like stories with a good deal of sarcasm/cynicism and (what somewhat resembles) social critique so, in my opinion, that's a big plus.

I've rated your story a 3/8 because of the things I've listed above, but I'm sure that you can write better stories in the future (or improve this story of course).

Good luck writing!

P.S Woops, this turned out a little bit longer than I expected :P

-- Romulus on 7/5/2014 10:35:30 AM with a score of 75

This is a good comment but is it good enough? The grammar is good and the format is okay. It did talk about the important aspects of the game in a semi-detailed manner.

This is on the very lower edge of featurable.

Recommendations for storygame difficulty to be changed:

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/survive-in-the-monster-world
-The difficulty should be lower (currently 6/8 difficulty)
-The game is not of sufficient length, quality, or rating for it to be as difficult as it is labeled.
-In my opinion, this story-game should be a difficulty of 2/8.

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/the-quest-for-pancakes
-The difficulty should be lower (currently 8/8 difficulty)
-The game is not of sufficient length, quality, or rating for it to be as difficult as it is labeled.
-In my opinion, this story-game should be a difficulty of 2/8.

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/pushing-a-desert-army
-The difficulty should be lower (currently 8/8 difficulty)
-The game is not of sufficient length, quality, or rating for it to be as difficult as it is labeled.
-In my opinion, this story-game should be a difficulty of 3/8. [4/8 if you consider the longest path is actually long, but the game is linear in that each choice is either death or the next page]

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/the-machine-2~2e0
-The difficulty should be lower (currently 7/8 difficulty)
-The game is not of sufficient length, quality, or rating for it to be as difficult as it is labeled.
-In my opinion, this story-game should be a difficulty of 3/8.

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/multi-player-action
-The difficulty should be lower (currently 8/8 difficulty)
-The game is not of sufficient length, quality, or rating for it to be as difficult as it is labeled.
-In my opinion, this story-game should be a difficulty of 6/8. [Quite difficult, and makes you think - but definitely not tough to beat in a short amount of time]

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/back-to-the-pass~21
-The difficulty should be lower (currently 7/8 difficulty)
-The game is not of sufficient length, quality, or rating for it to be as difficult as it is labeled.
-In my opinion, this story-game should be a difficulty of 4/8.

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/cpuwars~21
-The difficulty should be lower (currently 8/8 difficulty)
-The game is not of sufficient length, quality, or rating for it to be as difficult as it is labeled.
-In my opinion, this story-game should be a difficulty of 3/8.

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/bounty-hunter
-The difficulty should be lower (currently 7/8 difficulty)
-The game is not of sufficient length, quality, or rating for it to be as difficult as it is labeled.
-In my opinion, this story-game should be a difficulty of 3/8.

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/revolt
-The difficulty should be lower (currently 8/8 difficulty)
-The game is not of sufficient length, quality, or rating for it to be as difficult as it is labeled.
-In my opinion, this story-game should be a difficulty of 4/8.

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/finding-~26~2334~3bthe-way~26~2334~3b
-The difficulty should be lower (currently 8/8 difficulty)
-The game is not of sufficient length, quality, or rating for it to be as difficult as it is labeled.
-In my opinion, this story-game should be a difficulty of 2/8.

Agreed on all points. Thanks for tackling difficulties, Ford. You should keep in mind though, that length is not important when factoring in difficulty. Difficulty should be based on how challenging it is to get the best ending, with JFP being an 8. If you can click randomly to an ending, it should never be above 3, IMO, even if it's long.

I'll keep that in mind for next time :D

@Ford - You may as well remove this one.

Recommending a storygame for Deletion:

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/survive-in-the-monster-world

• After receiving at least 7 ratings and being published for at least 1 week, the storygame is rated 2/8 and its length is 1/8

It breaks the minimum site standards.

You know, for some reason I don't get the tag notification xD

@Ford

I got the notification when I tagged myself... o-o

I wonder if it is Space sensitive. I had a space after the tag and your didn't.

@Ford

That should work.

 

Yep. Space sensitive it is :D

Done

Recommending a comment for deletion:

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/the-revised-conneth-quiz

I just wanted to see how well I could guess

-- Me on 10/10/2009 10:46:29 PM with a score of 3

Duplicate comment.

Recommending a comment for deletion:

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/the-dragon-quiz~21

Magnus Bane.

-- NeverMind on 1/28/2012 5:30:15 PM

I am not sure what "Magnus Bane" is supposed to mean. Probably nothing.

Recommending a comment for featuring:

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/choose-your-life

Well... that was terrible. Here's why:

PLOT: Well, this game is "choose your life" however, little choice is actually offered. The first few pages of the game are literally "You are a girl. You are tomboy", which doesn't exactly scream RP. You did include a few choices, but they were unrealistic. I clicked run away on the second choice, randomly found money, then became a rich scientist. Basically, your story left my brain yelling "WTF?"

ITEMS: Your use of items to say yes was just annoying. I understand toying around with items to get the mechanic, but if you're going to to do that it's generally better to just use actual items. If you're a young tomboy, why not include a slingshot or something like that to get into trouble or play or whatever it is you come up with? That would include an element of diversity without causing the reader to have to use items for no reason (which trust me, will make you drop in the ratings).

LENGTH: Well, really there wasn't any. Your pages were fairly short - I seem to recall seeing some with 3 lines apiece. The game wasn't long (in regards to page #) at all either, and the combination of the two makes it look like you don't put effort into your storygames regardless of how accurate that statement actually is.

Also, I didn't include this in my rating process because that would be wrong, but you should watch what you rate other stories. You give just about everything an 8, while otherwise the normal votes would be a 4.

2/8

-- ThisisBo on 10/26/2012 9:05:31 PM with a score of 10

This seems like a very good comment that is detailed and formatted well. It covers most aspects of the story and gives some advice.

 

Agreed on all points!!

Comments recommended for deletion:

nnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnn nnnnnnn!
-- puddlebunni on 9/11/2013 6:08:43 PM
(On: http://chooseyourstory.com/story/A-Day-in-Your-Room )
(Reason: Beyond useless.)

Cewl
-- haledakota on 5/27/2013 4:57:40 PM
(On: http://chooseyourstory.com/story/A-Day-in-Your-Room )
(Reason: ... I have no excuse other than the fact that this spelling attempt is somehow less bearable than "kewl" which I've always hated.)

This is asoume!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
-- CheetahPelt on 7/5/2014 9:07:23 PM with a score of 0
(on: http://chooseyourstory.com/story/Wild-Cat )
(Reason: Please? xD It's just ... so bad.)

awesome again
-- pinkiepie402 on 6/23/2014 4:02:56 AM with a score of 0
(On:  http://chooseyourstory.com/story/Wild-Cat )
(Reason: Okay, I understand commenting with "Awesome", which she did previously ... but commenting a second time to -literally- say "awesome again" is useless and silly.)

by now I have played this 10 times or something! I still luv it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
-- Netprobe on 9/13/2012 10:54:40 PM with a score of 0
(On: chooseyourstory.com/story/Evolve-(1~2e2) )

(Poor spelling, very excessive punctuation.)

AWESOME LOL!! (I DIDNT UNDERSTAND HAHAH)
-- jasperranz on 9/26/2012 5:05:38 AM
(On: http://chooseyourstory.com/story/Die-Untoten-,-Kapitel-1 )
( Reason: >_>' "THIS IS AWESOME, I DON'T GET IT, HAHA!" is pretty useless imo. <.<)

lol. My birthday is on June 23.
-- KingdomKey54 on 9/4/2013 12:19:52 AM
(On: chooseyourstory.com/story/Law-and-Disorder )
(Reason: Says absolutely nothing about the story and is ... kinda random... )

i just went on .........................pork and beans
-- yoshilove on 1/29/2013 3:56:14 PM with a score of 0
(On: http://chooseyourstory.com/story/Wolves )
(Reason: Excessive punctuation, really random, and says nothing about the story.)

and another
-- Swiftstryker on 4/2/2012 1:39:47 AM

(On: http://chooseyourstory.com/story/331-Oakmount-Drive )
(Reason: On its own, it's pointless nonsense ... )

and another ending
-- Swiftstryker on 4/2/2012 1:37:34 AM
(On: http://chooseyourstory.com/story/331-Oakmount-Drive )
(Reason: Together with this one, it's really no better.)

Haha
-- bradhal on 1/15/2012 10:01:00 AM
(On: http://chooseyourstory.com/story/Make-it-to-the-bathroom~21 )
(Reason: Haha is not a word, nor is this comment useful in any way.)

Hmmmm.....
-- TacocaT on 7/5/2014 3:13:08 AM
(On: http://chooseyourstory.com/story/Divergent-Games )
(Reason: Not a word, not useful.)

Yay
-- Pavel Datsyuk on 5/31/2014 3:41:41 AM with a score of 0
(On: http://chooseyourstory.com/story/Hockey-Quiz~3a-What-NHL-player-are-you~21 )
(Reason: We did rule that "yay" does not count as a word, yes?)

Dauqness!
-- RobustSporadic on 7/6/2012 6:24:00 AM with a score of 0
(On: chooseyourstory.com/story/Hockey-Quiz~3a-What-NHL-player-are-you~21 )
(Reason: ... ... What? That's ... not a word, right?)

YAAAAAAA!
-- JJJ on 9/26/2005 4:00:09 PM with a score of 0
(On: chooseyourstory.com/story/Hockey-Quiz~3a-What-NHL-player-are-you~21 )
(Reason: Not a word, and ... I'm going to assume that's not really you.)

loser who ever made this stupid
-- conner on 3/2/2013 11:52:40 AM
(On: http://chooseyourstory.com/story/Survive-The-Apocalypse )
(Reason: Just insults the author without saying anything, at least directly, about the story)

LOL
-- bearclaw01234 on 6/16/2014 12:14:43 AM with a score of 0
(On: http://chooseyourstory.com/story/The-Lemonade-Business )
(Reason: LOL is not a word and is, imo, just as useless as haha.)

Meh.
-- EarthCollision on 3/25/2014 1:03:12 PM with a score of 10
(On: http://chooseyourstory.com/story/Runaway )
(Reason: Not a word, pretty useless.)

6/8 pew pew pew pew pew pew
-- Nuclearwarfareaw10 on 7/25/2013 4:56:48 PM with a score of 0
(On: http://chooseyourstory.com/story/Vanvid )
(Reason: ... In this context, "pew" is not meant to be a word, and ... were it not for the rating, this would be -entirely- useless, so ... I leave it to your judgment.)

didn't use the back button once and I got the infinite power and all crimson knights dead author email me when you make more
-- hunter on 6/23/2014 7:59:53 PM with a score of 4944
(On: http://chooseyourstory.com/story/The-Order-of-the-Midnight-Sun )
(Reason: Posted this same comment three times.)

The maze...
-- Celicni on 5/13/2014 7:12:23 AM with a score of 5794
(On: chooseyourstory.com/story/The-Order-of-the-Midnight-Sun )
(Reason: What about it? Sucks? Rocks? Scares you? Loves peanut butter? What? >.> I mean, this comment isn't really saying anything. )

well hot diggity damn
-- Mcnastyburger on 2/24/2014 8:35:13 PM with a score of 6086
(On: chooseyourstory.com/story/The-Order-of-the-Midnight-Sun )
(Reason: Aaaand speaking of comments not really saying anything...)

Testing something.
-- ssj3gohan007 on 11/29/2013 8:37:42 PM with a score of 5130
(On: chooseyourstory.com/story/The-Order-of-the-Midnight-Sun )
(Reason: Great, but ... he could've tested it with, you know, an actual comment. Plus, he -already- posted a comment about "just testing" ...)

...and maybe even Oreos...
-- Rhanloi on 11/18/2012 4:42:40 PM with a score of 6125
(On: chooseyourstory.com/story/The-Order-of-the-Midnight-Sun )
(Reason: Ok, I may have not played your story to its fullest, but I'm pretty damn sure it has nothing to do with oreos and that this comment is entirely random.)

mwwwaaaahhhh thanks
-- thorn on 8/28/2012 1:12:43 AM with a score of 1120
(On: chooseyourstory.com/story/The-Order-of-the-Midnight-Sun )
(Reason: Useless, says nothing about the story, seemingly completely random.)

meh...
-- roggie on 8/8/2011 6:25:30 PM with a score of 6059
(On: chooseyourstory.com/story/The-Order-of-the-Midnight-Sun )
(Reason: Not a word.)

Whahahahahahaha.
-- angelbread22 on 8/31/2011 7:30:58 PM with a score of 5823
(On: chooseyourstory.com/story/The-Order-of-the-Midnight-Sun )
(Reason: Not a word.)

HAHAHA LOL
-- Radamon111 on 3/13/2013 8:17:41 AM
(On: http://chooseyourstory.com/story/TICG~3a-The-Game~21 )
(Reason: Not a word.)

k.
-- Killer999 on 9/28/2011 2:37:25 PM with a score of 150
(On: http://chooseyourstory.com/story/Cantina-Band~3a-The-Assassins%27-New-Tune )
(Reason: A single word, fine. A single letter? Isn't that ... excessively lazy commenting?)

K.
-- Killer999 on 10/19/2011 1:05:00 PM with a score of 0
(On: chooseyourstory.com/story/Zombie-in-house~3a-3~3a00 )
(Reason: And he's done it more than once...)

Comments recommended for featuring:

Okay, there are some serious flaws with the narrative at my house.

My house
The fact that I wake up to my room, as well as the rest of the house, overturned and wrecked. My wife is downstairs and is one of the zombies. This presents a narrative dilemma. First off, how could I have slept through the ransacking of my room? I'm sleeping there, and therefore right next to all the noise that ransacking my room should produce.
Let's say I slept particularly heavily that night. My wife, whom I just found out I even have, is missing. If someone were to try and kidnap her, why am I completely unrestrained? You'd think the kidnapper would try to make this easy on himself.
Then I get downstairs and see my wife for the first time. She's a zombie. If she was in my bed when I went to sleep, then wouldn't I have woken up to being eaten by her? How am I still both alive and unharmed at this point? Thus far, by rights I should be dead or bitten, and the length of this story could thus be easily justified, though not the story itself.

So I find a safe place at the boarded up safe house. When I'm asked to hand over my stuff, I can refuse. These guys don't even try to coerce me. Their initial reaction is to shove me out the door, which I find highly unbelievable. If they really wanted me to give up my stuff, they wouldn't shove me out the door to my death with the supplies on me. It's also very abrupt.

Later, when Rick is holding down Flamingo after I've snubbed him, I am given the option to try and keep the peace. Rick doesn't even take the guy's stuff, he just lets him get up, and then he shoots me. If I take the other choice, which is also ambiguously titled, "help Rick", I hold down Flamingo while Rick shoots him. It seems like a very biased outcome, favoring aggression and zero-tolerance while discouraging peaceful resolution. Why couldn't Rick just take Flamingo's gun and shove him out the door like they would have done to me if I refused to give up my stuff? At least this time they'd have a very good reason for not hesitating.

And just like that, it's over. I don't get to protest the outright shooting of Flamingo, or even try to get away from these guys. Maybe I don't agree with how they do things. We've survived the outbreak, but we haven't ridden out the plague entirely. What about food? What about medicine? What about the people who want what we have and resort to violence to get it? What about the real choices? What if you somehow get bitten? Do you have the balls to ride it out and help as much as you can before you finally have to "bite the bullet," as it were? I'm not on my own anymore, I'm with a group of people whom I may or may not agree with, and may have to choose sides. What about having to decide where you stand on the Donner Party situation?

This survival horror adventure is severely lacking in the "survival" department. Getting to safety is not the same as surviving, especially when you find a group of people to hunker down with. Surviving with a group of people is about the interactions between the individuals, and how you choose to deal with the problems posed by disagreements in the group or troublesome individuals, as well as those who disagree with how you choose to handle things, especially if you choose to be bold and direct.

This is just too short and too shallow.
-- zeb on 12/9/2012 9:56:17 PM

(On: chooseyourstory.com/story/Survive-The-Apocalypse )

 

Great first story, well plotted and non-linear. I'm really impressed. The storyline was generic and boring but you did well for what that is. Next time, use the advanced editor instead of having [if you have bla bla bla] links. Also, formulate a better plot and grow the size of your story. This was much too short. Great first effort and I'm looking forward to reading more :)
-- JJJ-thebanisher on 2/25/2011 10:00:54 PM

(On: chooseyourstory.com/story/Survive-The-Apocalypse )
(Not kissing up here, I think you gave some good advice.)

Like Allusional said, the game was cute. It was well written too, but I just didn't see the point in it. The game didn't seem to have any goal or purpose and despite the game being called "Spooks" the game didn't really have anything to do with Spooks except for Emmett briefly mentioning them at the end. I'm sure you have the potential to write a really good story game, since I was actually interested in the story and the characters. It's just the ending didn't really seem like an ending to me. It felt like I'd only just started the game and it stopped before anything actually happened.
-- Briar_Rose on 4/22/2014 4:24:15 AM
(On: http://chooseyourstory.com/story/Spooks )

Pros: Great length, deep storyline, a lot of good description, attempts at having some emotional moments

Cons: Story takes a while to get going, having some items with pics and others not is a bit distracting, a few of the story segments seem somewhat fragmented, there seems to be only one right way to get through the story, some strange errors ("scale the cliff down" is not English.)

Overall: Very nice fanfic. Anyone who only has a score of around 150 should replay before rating to make sure you're seeing its full potential.
-- Sethaniel on 11/3/2008 6:58:08 AM with a score of 1240
(On: chooseyourstory.com/story/Cantina-Band~3a-The-Assassins'-New-Tune )

 

I'm going to start with the things I feel held back this game and then move on to the good parts. Firstly, the story was, at times, dramatic and fast paced. I know the protagonist was a writer but I felt he could go on and on during some portions of the story. He kept saying over and over again how he loved Elm -which is fine seeing as he really liked her - but he did the same sort of thing in everything else, which was a bit over dramatic. Also, you tended to develop the plot and characters a bit too fast. The protagonist simply bumped into Elm, talked to her for a bit, and then he was lovestruck(Even though she didn't do or say much). This kind of thing popped up again with Joel. This guy was my best friend and then his mom dies and we stop being friends. We meet with him again, say hi, and that's it, suddenly we're friends again. I don't see why he was necessary to the story.

Now to the good.

It was very well written. Though the describing of the story was a bit dramatic at times it was well detailed. The characters were interesting and I liked how the protagonist had something unique about him other than the usual stereotypical quirks.(Like staring at the moon when he felt sad or something emo like that). I personally didn't know the definition of ophthalmophobia before and was surprised when I learned its definition. If there were more words in the story like that I would have greatly enjoyed the story more.

Overall, this wasn't a bad game by far. I would have definitely giving you a six if you made it longer, a little less drama(At times), and more fleshing out of the characters.

5/8
-- JMgskills on 8/10/2013 5:59:26 PM
(On: http://chooseyourstory.com/story/Ophthalmophobia~3a-A-Love-Story )

 

Story recommended for rating change:
Zombie in house: 3:00
http://chooseyourstory.com/story/Zombie-in-house~3a-3~3a00
From 1/8 to 6/8.

Reason: use of the word "Motherfucker."

What is going through their minds when they make these comments?

I honestly don't know.

"lol. My birthday is on June 23.
-- KingdomKey54 on 9/4/2013 12:19:52 AM
(On: chooseyourstory.com/story/Law-and-Disorder )
(Reason: Says absolutely nothing about the story and is ... kinda random... )"

The date in the story is June 23. It's relevantish.

 

Okay, then. It's ... semi-relevant. (Sort of. I wouldn't say that their birthday being on the same day is any more relevant than them having the same hair color as one of the characters, but eh.)

It still says literally nothing about the story.

 

Yep.

I did not delete the following comments:

Cewl
-- haledakota on 5/27/2013 4:57:40 PM
(On: http://chooseyourstory.com/story/A-Day-in-Your-Room )
(Reason: ... I have no excuse other than the fact that this spelling attempt is somehow less bearable than "kewl" which I've always hated.)

lol. My birthday is on June 23.
-- KingdomKey54 on 9/4/2013 12:19:52 AM
(On: chooseyourstory.com/story/Law-and-Disorder )
(Reason: Says absolutely nothing about the story and is ... kinda random... )

6/8 pew pew pew pew pew pew
-- Nuclearwarfareaw10 on 7/25/2013 4:56:48 PM with a score of 0
(On: http://chooseyourstory.com/story/Vanvid )
(Reason: ... In this context, "pew" is not meant to be a word, and ... were it not for the rating, this would be -entirely- useless, so ... I leave it to your judgment.)

...and maybe even Oreos...
-- Rhanloi on 11/18/2012 4:42:40 PM with a score of 6125
(On: chooseyourstory.com/story/The-Order-of-the-Midnight-Sun )
(Reason: Ok, I may have not played your story to its fullest, but I'm pretty damn sure it has nothing to do with oreos and that this comment is entirely random.)

Cewl = Cool. That comment is fine. The maybe even oreos comment refers to it being 'even better than reese's peanut butter cups, I think".

I didn't quite think Seth's comment was feature-worthy. I agree with all of the rest.

Two things: I probably did leave that comment, haha. I would have been around 13 at the time. Second thing, can you make sure your links work? A few of them don't, like the one to Divergent Games.

 

Why'd you leave the birthday comment?

It's not spammy, the game mentioned their birthday. It's not a good comment, but I try to err on the side of caution when it comes to deleting things.

Recommending thread for deletion

- i have a problem [ DO NOT DELETE ]

- It's another spam thread.

Agreed & Banned.

Woah, you banned her this time?

I've had enough with the constantly spammy threads, the posting of her pictures, etc. Now we find out if the ban works :)

There's a new ban feature? Or do you mean whether she doesn't start making false accounts?

I guarantee that she will make a new account. She already has Sharky100.

Woo!

Huzzah.

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/heartstar-story-part-one-%28she~2dcats-only%29

Should be deleted, violates the 5 rules.

But it's not published?

yes it is? Well.. it was, until I deleted it.

I know I could probably find, but I don't know where to look. I was wondering what the 5 rules are.

Thank you.

+5 points
 

Maybe next time we do this thread, you put a link in the description. That way you can just chew out anyone who decided to ignore it.

Sort them by lengths. Start at the shortest length ones. 

What?

You said you didn't know where to start. 

 I didn't know where to start looking for the 5 rules for a story game. I should have guessed that it'd be in the help&info though.

Oh. I thought you meant you didn't know where to start looking for deletable story games. 

I don't want to hurt people's feelings by recommending their story for deletion. I'd rather tell them nicely how to make it better and offer to help. Though if a story is obviously a spam or a troll, I have no problem recommending them for deletion If I come across it. I don't go out hunting for them though.
 

Um. You do know that there is an edit button near the reply button right? 

I know. The thing took forever to load, I forgot to put something in, I added it, and it ended up coming up twice. Once before I put anything in, once after. Notice they have the exact same minute that it was posted, I can't type that fast. It was a glich.

That's weird. 

It's happened before.

Recommending a comment for deletion:

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/house-of-horrors-%28a-cyoa-movie%29

Absolutely amazing!!! There need to be more games like this...George come home now!

-- Jon Vinson on 5/3/2005 11:02:15 PM with a score of 0

Duplicate comment.

Agreed

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/the-real-detective-challenge-story-(pm)

Alright, this game was supposed to be some sort of detective mystery, interactive-by-PMs story. The idea is pretty cool, but the author isn't active anymore and the story kinda invalidates the 'Big Five' and this too, I suppose-

"The storygame is not a storygame and is instead intended to fulfill a goal such as communicating with another member (including all inside jokes) or advertising a product." So, uh, recommended for deletion.

Decided to make an exception and just unpublish that one.

Recommendation for  category change

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/warrior-cats-fall-clan~21

Fan fiction

It's in the Fantasy Adventure section but is a Warrior Cat game which is based off a book series.

(Did I do it right? It's the first one I've recommended for anything)

Perfect. Agreed.

Recommended story for unpublishing:

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/warrior-cats-fall-clan~21

Reason: (No, I wasn't looking for Warrior Cats.) Honestly, it just meets your criteria for deserving the boot. 2/8 rating after being published for months (well over the 1 week mark) has been rated 16 times, (well over the 7 required,) and its length is 1/8.

Wait, I thought it was just published the day before yesterday. 7/7/14 Otherwise I would have put it up for unpublishing instead of just a category change.

It was most recently published in the last week, it looks like. Ostensibly, the author could have made it better in that time, so we'll wait until it's been published for a week.

New one: http://chooseyourstory.com/story/life-of-a-warrior-cat-~231

It was just posted, I know, but now the link is right here in this convenient spot so it can be removed in exactly one week.

Huh. I'm somewhat surprised you read oots.

I decided Celestia needed to be retired.

I've been sort of defiantly using pony avs everywhere I post because dammit I've been an MLP fan since I was five years old, and now that we actually get a good cartoon I wasn't going to let creepy weirdos on the internet make me ashamed of it!

But creepy internet weirdos are an unstoppable force and now I've lost that battle, it's just like what happened with Sonic. :( 

Anyway OotS is great, everybody should read OotS. There are no anthromorphic animals in OotS, that's the best thing about it.

If I made fun of you for being a MLP fan, would you have Endmaster murder me?

Can't wait!

Recommending Comments for Deletion
http://chooseyourstory.com/story/dungeon-stompage~21

Rawr! stomp. stomp. stomp.
-- MagmaArmor0 on 3/11/2013 2:36:33 PM with a score of 147830

Yay
--betaband on 9/3/2012 4:01:26 PM with a score of 111090
_____________________________________________________________
http://chooseyourstory.com/story/adventures-with-raven

eh?

-- toni on 3/10/2013 9:28:44 PM
_____________________________________________________________
http://chooseyourstory.com/story/warrior-cats-adventure

Losvlieg

-- Mirthe on 7/5/2014 9:19:13 AM

_____________________________________________________________
http://chooseyourstory.com/story/hell-girl~3a-the-shattered-mirror

H

-- SSDSSDSSD on 4/13/2012 7:42:37 PM with a score of 0
_____________________________________________________________
http://chooseyourstory.com/story/danny-phantom%27s-adventure

No

-- PonyRider on 4/20/2013 5:08:18 PM

_____________________________________________________________
http://chooseyourstory.com/story/save-your-dragon-

smoove...

-- jcam on 6/20/2012 6:26:57 PM

_____________________________________________________________
http://chooseyourstory.com/story/The-Werewolf-in-Land-Park

Yay!

-- Nightsky on 4/10/2014 5:44:20 PM
_____________________________________________________________
http://chooseyourstory.com/story/Get-To-Work,-Squarepants~21

:D

-- leoxx on 3/27/2013 5:38:48 PM with a score of 0
_____________________________________________________________

I left Smoove and Rawr! I thought those comments were fine. I deleted the others.

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/warrior-cats~21-waareiors-who-r-cats~3a-another-catwarrior-joins-the-clan~2d~2da-warrior-cat-fanfic

 

Man, someone needs to delete this piece of shit as soon as possible.

That's farking beautiful. The maturity rating needs to be bumped all the way up though.

Deleted, yes. For points, no. It's your own story too... you can unpublish it yourself.

Whoosh.

Unfortunately, I think you're missing the point of that story, @Mizal. It's actually a deep social commentary on Vatican politics, so I'm going to have to leave that up.

Oh, you're right! I mean obviously I knew that already, I was just testing you. The badgers represent the Pope's secret army of assassins, and of course the furry porn is all the sins that Jesus died for.

 

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/warriors~3a-sweets~7e

IMO there's nothing very Warrior Catty about this one, but that's what the author claims it to be, so it should be moved from Fantasy Adventure.

And even if it wasn't fanfic it still wouldn't really be fantasy, more like Humor or Everything Else is my best guess.

I moved it! You should reply to the OP with suggestions so that the thread stays organized :)

My own comment for deletion. Accidentally posted it without checking for some grammar, so I left another comment.

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/the-mysterious-house

I thought it was alert. The usage of, 'grope' for turning door handles and flipping switches is kinda odd though haha.
-- Tanstaafl on 7/11/2014 10:23:49 AM (obviously, I do not want a point for this haha)

Done

Recommending a comment for deletion:

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/the-interrogator-(movie)

not bad for a video game. I like the idea. something about the video clips though - they loaded funny. I'm sure that's not your problem. Anyways congrats.

-- march5th00 on 10/19/2006 7:14:18 PM with a score of 0

This is a duplicate comment.

Recommending a comment for featuring:

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/choose-your-own-fairytale~3a-snow-white?

I really like the idea of Choose-your-own fairy tales and I'm convinced that such an idea could produce great storygames. However, your story wasn't exact;y the fairest of them all. 

Somehow, your story just doesn't feel finished. Although some pages are decently written and have quite the amount of text on them, most pages in your story have no more than two-three sentences. As a result of this they also seem kinda random. Since you do not write much descriptions, thoughts, etc. on the pages I, as the reader, can't really imagine what my character is feeling, doing, etc. This results in some, in my opinion, unrealistic behavior like: 'Oh no, Snow White has been murdered. Oh wait, while I'm strangling the guy who supposedly did it he denies everything so I guess everything's all right and I can go enjoy the wedding of a woman I (supposedly) kinda hate. Yaaaay.' (I am , of course, paraphrasing there.) 

To be quite honest, this game is not a CYS game. A choose-your-own adventure game implies that the choices of the reader have an impact on how the story is going to end, but in your story there is only one ending, no matter the choices I make. 

I'm also kinda disappointed that your story stops quite abruptly without portraying the rest of the Snow White story. I mean, I haven't read it in a long time, but I can definitely remember more stuff happening besides the supposed murder of Snow White. 

Like said before, I really like the idea of Choose-your-own fairy tales, but I don't exactly like this story. I'd advice you to take more time to write your stories and write more text on each page to give the reader a sense of what is going on. I'd furthermore advice you to look trough the edutainment category of storygames as some quite decent fairy tale storygames can be found there. 

Because of the above mentioned things, I have rated this game a 2/8, but I am sure that you'll write better stories in the future! 

Good luck writing! 
 

-- Romulus on 7/5/2014 11:00:44 AM

He gives some advice and comments on the story in a well structured and detailed manor.

I'm not even sure what it means for a comment to be featured, but you might as well go ahead and feature every one that Romulus writes, they're all really detailed and constructive.

They get a nice little star and are pushed to the beginning of the comments page for eternity!

--Or until they get replaced.
 

^Deleted the duplicate Comment :)

This comment is phenomenally well devised but the writing is too flawed to feature.

Recommending a comment for deletion:

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/warrior-cats~21-waareiors-who-r-cats~3a-another-catwarrior-joins-the-clan

DUDE WHAT THE HELL?????????!!!!!!!!! YOU ARE NOT GOOD AT THIS!!!!!!! PLEASE DON'T EVER WRITE ANOTHER EVER AGAIN!!!!!!!!!

-- Silvermoon on 7/12/2014 4:52:32 PM

This is spammy and unnecessary. It is also suggested that this was simply a revenge rating but I can't exactly prove that.

No way, leave that one alone. It was definitely a revenge rating but it's also exactly what I was hoping for.

I mean I guess there's 24freddy's comment too but I'm pretty sure that dude's not for real so it's not quite the same.

I mainly picked that comment for it being spammy but I saw all your (funny) comments so I decided to put that in the explanation. Regardless, is it unnecessary to use all caps and three different introbangs with around thirty exclamation marks (Question marks included).

Madbrad, I posted that story because I wanted the tears of enraged 12 year old catfuckers. I was going to collect them in a tiny crystal bottle and savor every drop.

Mostly my dreams have been thwarted but that one you quoted was the real deal and you will leave it alone.

Most of them will just rate a one or two and not comment xD

Very well, if you wish to feed of young children, so be it!

It's way too perfect to delete.

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/warrior-cats~21-waareiors-who-r-cats~3a-another-catwarrior-joins-the-clan

I noted this before, but the maturity rating really should be upped to 7 haha.

I was thinking more of a 6 - but just to be safe - mostly due to all the horse raping scenes - I agree - updated to a 7.

I think 6 is better. 7 should be reserved for the Love SICKS, IMO.

^I'm OK either way - 6 it is then!  ^v^

Recommending a comment for deletion:

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/kingmaker

The most confusing obsurd game I have ever played. No pictures or story. Not fun.

-- bradhal on 9/14/2011 5:25:19 PM with a score of 6

Duplicate comment.

^Got it.

 You're such a champ.

Romulus reviewed a story again:

I have to admit I feel kinda disappointed after playing your game, as it sounded (somewhat) good from the description. You've obviously put some work into it (which is great, of course) but I feel like you just kinda gave up writing in the end.

To start with the (in my opinion) most obvious flaw in your game: it literally is not finished. There are pages (run after the man and shoot him) that either do not have end game links or that are just left blank. This, to me, shows that you did not take a couple of minutes to check if your game was even finished before you published it (which is very easy, given the fact that you get a message before publishing which states that some pages don't have any links).

I'd advise you to take more time to write your stories, as that will (probably) greatly increase their quality. I know that a spending a couple of hours of writing (like you did) seems like a long time, but the best stories on this site (with some exceptions) have taken at least a couple of weeks to write.

A few aspects of your story that could, in my opinion, use some improvement are for example: the amount of text on each page. Although your story itself is, like I said before, promising, it is not exactly great at the moment. I believe this is mostly due to the fact that you only write about five sentences per page. I know that you probably have an image of what's exactly happening to the characters in your mind, but your readers haven't. Try to write more descriptions of surrounding or thoughts of the characters so your readers can also visualize an image of what is happening.

I also found the pacing in your story a tad too fast and unlikely/unrealistic. *possible spoilers* For example, you find a couple of dead relatives, an attractive woman immediately appears and without even shedding a tear you go with her. Then, when you get a gun shoved in your face and make a choice, you suddenly live happily ever after without further explanation. The pacing of your story is, of course, ultimately for you to decide, but I'd advise you to slow it down somewhat or write some more descriptive texts so the reader can follow whatever is going on in your story.

So, to sum things up: I'd advise you to take some more time to write your story. There are also lots of great stories on this site which you can look at if you need some examples of how to write. I know that writing can seem hard, but I'm sure that you can turn this into a good story. However, in its present shape, I've given it a 2/8.

Good luck writing!

-- Romulus on 7/14/2014 4:02:36 PM

 

I'm pretty sure he's just showing off by this point but give the man a shiny gold star anyway.

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/dark-apocalypse

Here is the link.

It's unfinish. I recommend it for unpubishing so the author can finish it. 

Thanks!!

Please follow the format in the OP so that you make my life easier. Agreed though, that comment is 100% feature-worthy.

Whoops, sorry, forgot the link.

Honestly though you should probably just give the dude a trophy and make the site auto-feature all his comments. I am legit impressed by the amount of effort he's consistently putting in; sometimes I think he spends more time reviewing a game than the author did writing it. I know I wouldn't have the patience for that.

Recommend story for deletion. 

A length of one.

Terrible grammars.

It's not even a story game. You get to choose to get up or go back to sleep, then you go out the door, and the game ends. 

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/a-day-in-the-life~3a-part-1~3a-getting-up

Does it or doesn't it break minimum site standards? If it does, you have to say how.

We just have to wait one more week then. It meets all of the other requirements. 

It needs to meet one of the 5 requirements.

Recommending a storygame for deleation:

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/warrior-cats-fall-clan~21

• After receiving at least 7 ratings and being published for at least 1 week, the storygame is rated 2/8 and its length is 1/8

Breaks the minimum site standards.

 

 

Done! Agreed.

Recommending a category change for a storygame:

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/realistic-warrior-cats

Fan Fiction

This is a parody of "Warriors".

Agreed!

Recommending a category change for a storygame:

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/the-life-of-a-bull-terrier

Everything Else

I think most animal* point of view games are put in Everything Else. *Excluding Humans and the like.

Agreed! Totally.

Recommending a category change for a storygame:

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/23

Mystery / Puzzle

The puzzle is working out the correct numbers you need to choose. It is a much simpler version of "Twenty-Three"

Agreed

Here's a comment for featuring:

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/warlords~3a-strategic-conquest

The strategy and logic behind each choice was very well-written and kept the story moving at an engaging pace throughout all three characters' storylines. I actually found myself having to pause and mull it over as I tried to figure out the ramifications of each choice. This is very much a game that is more enjoyable if you slow down and think rather than simply guess and hit 'back' if you're wrong. The ending feels more legitimately rewarding that way.

On the flip side, while the three characters were very unique and all three routes had very unique gameplay, I felt that the characters were a bit lacking in personality. They felt more like a series of strategic decisions rather than living, breathing people. Which was fine, considering that this was a strategy game, but I felt that the lack of strong characterization made the game less immersive than it otherwise would have been.

Still, absolutely fantastic job. This game really captures the feeling of Ancient China and its complex interplay of war and politics! Definitely worth a look.    

Comment left by the_quiller

Definitely.

After The Great Battle [Warrior's Adventure] by Ember24 needs Unpublished/Fixed (not sure why, but it goes right to Story Games Page - maybe the brackets?)

That is weird. It's like it doesn't even exist.

The system must hate WC stories so much that anything that's titled 'Warrior' get's automatically filterd. ;P

Hmm...I believe someone proposed that idea to 3J and that he rejected it. Still, I'm wondering if I should pm the author and let him/her know about it.

XD Jeez. I'm just kidding, James. 

No, not the non-existent filtering system, the fact that nobody can play her stinking game. -_(\

Sure, go on ahead. ;)

Problem has been resolved. I spoke with the author and she removed the brackets from the title. The link works now.

Changed the title. Mind PMing the author? @BerkaZerka

Spammy comment. They're not even trying.

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/ground-zero

poooooooooooooooooooooopppppppppppppppppppppppp
-- Lightningheart on 7/19/2014 4:17:29 PM
 

Haha. Another WC fan. ^

^Got it EndMaster.

Thanks

Recommending a storygame for unpublishing.

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/warrior-game-rpg

Why I believe it should be unpublished.

1. There is only one real path. All other links lead to death pages. Also, the only real path ends rather abruptly, as most WC games tend to do.

2. There is literally no plot. It starts out as a warrior cat running into a lightingclan patrol and can end with you blowing away a randomly placed badger with superpowers that the authors fails to tell you that you have.

3. The dialogue is just plain awful. Like, "here is the medicine shack. Here is the fresh kill pile. here is where the leader calls us all to assembly" (Yes, the misspellings and lack of punctuation was intentional.

4. Little to no use of capitalization and misspellings galore.

Also, as one user pointed out, the tense shifts a lot.

'Twas a very bad game, I agree. I would suggest deleting it in a weeks time if enough people review it.

Why? It practically fulfills the five.

The pacing wasn't bad.

The pacing was nonexistent in that game.

Gone

Comments recommended for deletion:

meh
-- ThisisBo on 6/14/2011 3:05:41 PM
(On: http://chooseyourstory.com/story/MOOTHA-RUSSIA~21~21~21~21)
(Reason: Useless comment.)

Omg...
-- Zane on 10/4/2012 11:10:06 PM

(On: http://chooseyourstory.com/story/MOOTHA-RUSSIA~21~21~21~21)
(Reason: Useless comment.)

I once read (well, wrote) a story that doesn't look at Dora in a favorable light, it's an Avengers fanfiction. The link is below if you want to check it out:
http://ananonymousperson.deviantart.com/art/A-Horror-Like-No-Other-401600271
-- L. on 3/8/2014 11:55:26 PM with a score of 0
(On: http://chooseyourstory.com/story/Kick-Dora%27s-Butt~21 )
(Reason: I could be wrong, but I'm pretty sure it's not okay to write a comment purely filled with an advertisement of your own story, let alone on another website.)

Lol
-- HaruhiSuzumiya on 6/19/2013 3:06:20 AM with a score of 0
(On: http://chooseyourstory.com/story/Kick-Dora%27s-Butt~21 )
(Reason: Useless comment.)

LAWL
-- 12yearsofme on 4/8/2013 6:02:12 PM with a score of 0
(On: http://chooseyourstory.com/story/Kick-Dora%27s-Butt~21 )
(Reason: Useless comment.)

LOL
-- toni on 3/3/2013 1:05:27 AM with a score of 0
(On: http://chooseyourstory.com/story/Kick-Dora%27s-Butt~21 )
(Reason: Useless comment.)

yay
-- cysid2 on 4/25/2012 3:30:04 PM with a score of 0
(On: http://chooseyourstory.com/story/Kick-Dora%27s-Butt~21 )
(Reason: Useless comment.)

What the...
-- Sylmondd on 6/12/2012 9:21:57 PM with a score of 0
(On: http://chooseyourstory.com/story/Kick-Dora%27s-Butt~21 )
(Reason: Useless comment.)

lol
-- the_forgotten_apple on 4/25/2009 8:27:59 PM with a score of 0
(On: http://chooseyourstory.com/story/Kick-Dora%27s-Butt~21 )
(Reason: Useless comment.)

wholike me
-- max on 7/29/2005 7:59:01 AM with a score of 0
(On: http://chooseyourstory.com/story/Kick-Dora%27s-Butt~21 )
(Reason: >_> What? Irrelevant.)

 

Recommendation for a change in maturity rating:

Story:  http://chooseyourstory.com/story/Kick-Dora%27s-Butt~21
Current rating: 3.
Suggested rating: 5.

Reason: Well, first because there was a complaint in the comments ... second, though there are no real images of it except for a red blob, it talks about being burned alive in a furnace, carving a smile off a beloved children's character's face with a large knife, blowing up her head and large chunks of her body ... and that's pretty much the whole story, really.

Agreed on everything.

Still patrolling the provinces for comments to delete. Here's one that was repeated 3 times.

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/necromancer

this is the best story iv'e ever read, and I work in a library,this story is touching and exciting, beautiful writing, my favorite so far. 10/10
-- drathgy1 on 7/19/2014 9:40:41 PM

Done
 

Recommending a comment for featuring:

http://chooseyourstory.com/forums/the-lounge/new-reply?postId=379072

While there are occasional glimpses of an interesting story, a great deal falls flat. While the overall quality can be improved with grammar and spelling corrections, the deeper problems with this storygame mean a lot more than simple proofreading is needed to bring "A Blaze of Glory" up to par. 

Numerous aspects of the plot either feel rushed or created on the spot. Examples include the Orb of Death's history and powers, Bren's takeover in the foreign lands, his background with the Commander, Danny's expertise on the battlefield, the Commander's curse, and the demons. 

A nasty side effect is that character development is rushed and is unbelievable as a result. For example, a couple of pages could have easily been squeezed in where Danny decides for or against helping the madman that just enslaved his entire village. A few sections like those would easily help ABoG's pace and characterization. 

As noted previously, the game feels more like a railroad than a series of choices due to how linear it is. Rather than resetting and feeling a sense of failure, I'm more inclined to simply press "Go Back" just so I can get to the end. Part of the ingenuity in the CYS / CYOA genre is that you can potentially take multiple paths that converge back into the main storyline, but I feel that we're missing out on a lot of potential for "A Blaze of Glory" due to the absence of that very mechanic. 

Overall I'd be glad to return to "A Blaze of Glory" if it gets its much-needed update, but it needs a great deal of world-building and choice before I would consider it finished.

-- ItanoCircus on 4/5/2014 6:42:33 AM with a score of 0

Replace: 

I rated this a seven. It's not the absolute best and I've played better, but I did enjoy this. I liked the 3 different perspectives. I felt that it was a bit lacking though. There needs to be more plot, and more than two different choices would be nice. Items would add to the game, but not entirely necessary. Main problem was the plot, it needed more details, more explanation. More character development and such. the story didn't make a whole lot of sense, and you're thrown into this conflict without knowing very much. work a bit more on developing a clear, concise story. You left the reader grasping at straws trying to understand why everything was happening. Nice effort though!

-- ChaiHai on 8/11/2012 5:07:12 AM with a score of 0

Recommending a comment for featuring:

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/through-time

If Toradora and Puella Magi Madoka Magicka had a love child, it would be this story. I encourage anybody attempting to write a Love & Dating CYS to play through this first. 

While I feel that there were occasionally unnecessary extra paragraphs, the story is almost completely free from grammatical or spelling errors. Each character is well-rounded and exploring their paths for perfect completion is more enjoyable than tedious. Good luck finding Ian's Good Ending though ;) 

From a gameplay perspective I feel the True End should only be unlocked after all normal Good Ends are discovered. Since I played Tina's path first and then the True End, I was in the dark as to the significance of the final sequence. Additionally, given the True End, I feel that Bad Ends that don't alter the future too drastically should return the player to the first page. 

While the concept, gameplay, execution, and narration all exceeded expectations and demand that "Through Time" be read, I found myself wanting more. While it isn't short and there wasn't a lack of depth or detail, it's fairly easy to obtain all of the endings. After that, replayability suffers immensely. 

That all being said, "Through Time" is an enjoyable CYS that tickled my fancy. I will be looking for more out of this author in the future.

-- ItanoCircus on 4/10/2014 8:28:24 AM with a score of 97531

Agreed on the second one... but that first one has no workable link so I don't know where it is.

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/a-blaze-of-glory~3a-chapter-on

Thanks!

Ah, sorry bout that.

Agreed with that one too!

Recommending a category change for a storygame:

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/ruler - Both suggestions are from this link.

Fan Fiction.

It is based off of "Caravaneer"

Recommending a change in maturity level for a storygame:

3

Honestly, I am not sure how to rate  this but it certainly shouldn't be a seven. I think 3 seems like a good number for it.

Recommending a tag change for a storygame:

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/eating-some-bacon - Both suggestions are from this link.

?Based Off A True Story.

You never know xD All the other tags are basically random, I have a suspicion he put them there for the sake of it. It is not geared for extremist in anyway possible, it is not humorous, it is far from a puzzle. The next two, I suspect he put for the lol's.

Recommending a category change for a storygame:

?Everything Else.

I don't think this classifys as "Modern adventure".

 

 

I think that one is fine in modern adventure. Agreed on the rest.

Recommending a tag change.

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/eating-some-bacon

The current tag is "Based off of a true story". Really? I find it hard to believe that the author ran through the streets naked, got arrested, and died in jail. I can't say that I don't wish any of those things would happen, but, still, it should probably have the "humor" tag, even though it is a sucky attempt at humor.

I honestly don't know what the author was thinking while he was writing that story. xD

I contemplated not even playing it since it was about bacon, but I need the points.

Recommending a category change for a storygame:

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/the-46th-annual-hunger-games - Both Recommendations are from this link.

?*Fan Fiction

It is based off of "The Hunger Games"

*Also, do you know why that question mark keeps appearing?.

Recommending a comment for featuring:

I'm afraid this story suffers from the same problems as your first. 

Problem number one: my character just killed five or six other kids, but I, the reader, feel nothing. Why? Because I don't even know what they look like. You give at least some of them names, but nothing more than that. Why should I care if all I see of someone is their name? Make me care. Tell me that the boy I just speared is afraid of dying, blood seeping into his coat and his short brown hair, gurgling as his eyes go dark. Make me feel, not just scratch off names. 

Almost none of the scenery is described either. What if, instead of going to the Hunger Games movie, you were given a radio show. "District Five boy just killed District One boy." And that was all you got. Would you care? Could you even visualize the scene? We're meant to be in the story. Tell us what we see, hear, and smell in the forest. When we climb the tree, tell us what the bark feels like. Give us scrapes and bruises, stickiness of the sap. Make us feel like we're there. 

Finally, there aren't really any choices in this game. Everything is either "you live" or "you die." There is only one right path leading to one ending, so there's no point in playing the story more than once. Give us multiple branches of story to choose from and more control over the character than "right" or "wrong". Make us want to see what happens next when we click a choice instead of "one of these is game over. Probably that one. Ok, let's move on." 

Try reading some of the highly rated stories on the site. Endmaster, BerkaZerka, JJJthebanisher, these people are successful for a reason. When you write something, ask yourself, "if this was a novel, would people buy it? If this wasn't my story, would I play it twice?" When the total text in all branches of the story adds up to a page at most and there is no emotion or description at all, the answer to both will be "no".

-- Sszinid on 1/3/2014 5:28:27 PM

This has to be on of the best comments I have seen. Other than your name wrong, I don't think he made one grammar mistake. It gives excellent advice whilst critiquing the game.

Recommending a category change for a storygame:

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/pokemon-~2d-the-new-legend~3a-part-one

Fan Fiction

This is based off of "Pokemon".

Recommending a storygame for deletion:

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/~22local-elder-robs-a-bank~22

• After receiving at least 7 ratings and being published for at least 1 week, the storygame is rated 2/8 and its length is 1/8

It brakes the minimum site standards.

Recommending a comment for deletion:

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/eating-some-bacon

hgcvhgghjf

-- fghtfjyhfjh on 7/21/2014 8:50:20 PM with a score of 0

'Tis random and pointless.

Recommending a comment for deletion:

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/the-adventures-of-steve

ffgfcv

-- bvchgchv on 7/21/2014 8:51:24 PM with a score of 0

'Tis random and pointless.

Recommending a comment for featuring:

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/ruler-(with-little-changes)

I like the general theme of your story. However, to be honest, I don't really like the way you wrote your story. 

Apart from the general shortness of the story, the amount of text on the separate pages is also very limited. I felt like the consequences of the choices that I made were very random and (somewhat) illogical. This is, I think, mainly due to the fact that I can't make an educated guess about what choice I should make. Try putting in some more background about for example the state that your nation is in and the general opinion of the people, so that the story makes a bit more sense. 

On the other hand, the amount of background story on the first page was a little too much to handle :P I always appreciate a little prologue to the real story, but your prologue gave me more questions than answers about the general setting of your story. I also didn't really like the fact that you list a whole bunch of other sites where the reader can find more information about your story. To me, this seems like you didn't think you could write a good synopsis yourself. 

And for my last tip: try to use your story's title and description to make clear to the reader what game/story your fanfiction is about. This way you'll probably appeal to other fans of the same game and it'll be clearer to the readers in general in which kind of universe your story takes place. 

Like I said before, I really like the idea of the reader being able to 'rule' his own nation, but I don't really like the way you wrote your story. I'm sure that you're able to write a great one if you put a little more time into writing, but at the moment I've given your story a 2/8

-- Romulus on 7/21/2014 12:05:10 PM

Very good comment.

Recommending a comment for deletion:

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/Escape-School

Hellooooo

-- Hi on 7/3/2014 9:42:15 AM

I don't think the comment section is for greeting people.

Recommending a tag change for a storygame:

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/a-choose~2dyour~2down~2dadventure-poem

 

I don't think this is humorous, nor is it trying to be humorous.

Recommending a comment for featuring:

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/friend-zone

I am actually very critical of romance stories, to be honest. It's only a rare occasion where I don't find them a little too cheesy, unrealistic, clumsy, boring, so on. (Or, hey, they can also be just poorly disguised smut / porn in some cases.) I didn't hate or even particularly dislike this, but I can't say I really ... liked it. 


I have actually enjoyed homework more than I did this story, but I'm a nerd, so maybe that doesn't really count. For a first story, it's really not... -bad-, you've got some errors here and there, but nothing hideous or glaring, so you're doing better than a lot of new writers. 


However, the story is short. None of the paths give a reader adequate time to develop a bond with any of the characters, so I can't say I care about them. I think the crush in this story is kind of an ass and the best friend is, too, but eh. That's as far as my opinion of the characters goes. I know nothing about Oliver and the extent I know of April is that she's sad and she has had an exceptionally long crush on a guy, expecting him to know without being told. That's it. 


There's nothing wrong with a short story, mind you, but it has to 1: be the kind of story that -can- be told in few page, and 2: still convey an interesting, full story in the short space it's given. Love stories don't tend to fit both requirements very well. 


Also, as far as romances go, this isn't a particularly interesting story. Oh, sure, it's one that most of us can relate to and that's a good idea for a premise--but that also means you have a lot of pressure on you to capture that emotion, those circumstances, and that heart-ache realistically. 


At first, I thought you might manage. I mean, I can see a girl spending a few hours in bed, tissues everywhere, depressed, stiff all over from curling up and crying over the loss of her crush to her bestie. It's not hard to imagine in real life. Unfortunately, later on, the story feels pretty awkward and unrealistic in some places. 


All of that said, I will commend you on the fact that it's not very linear for a short story. You can have more than three endings and for a first story, that's pretty good. They're also varied in tone, since a couple are happy, some are bitter sweet, and a couple are just downers. Keep at it, okay? I think you'll get better. I'd advise putting more time into the next one.

-- Kiel_Farren on 7/24/2014 2:36:52 AM

Although there are a few grammar mistakes, overall, this is a very good comment.

Recommending a tag change for a storygame:

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/doctor-who-fanfiction

 

I don't think this is an RPG.

Recommending a comment for deletion:

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/kick-dora's-butt~21 - Both recommendations are from this link.

That was great!! I've always wanted to do that but I was afraid I'd hurt the T.V.

-- PrinceOProvidence on 12/1/2006 10:50:51 PM with a score of 0

Duplicate.

Recommending a comment for deletion:

-- Haqeirah on 8/23/2011 3:11:31 PM with a score of 0

There is no comment, it is just his name.

Recommending a tag change for a storygame:

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/~2e~3aicky-boys-~26-cootie-girls~3a~2e-~2awip

Humor

I don't think this is an RPG.

Recommending a category change for a storygame:

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/ruler-(with-little-changes)

Fan Fiction

I think he moved it back. Deduct points for that? Again, this is based off of "Caravaneer"

Recommending a category change for a storygame:

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/ruler-(advanced-creator)

Fan Fiction

Again, this is based off of "Caravaneer"

Recommending a comment for featuring:

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/a-warrior-cat's-life-(part-1-of-4)

It is has better grammar and spelling than some warrior cat story games. 

The whole releasing it in part's is never a really good idea. It has been pointed out in various threads and comments. Putting a storygame into parts and then having the parts have barely anything to them is just asking for low ratings. How would you like it if Erin Hunter released a book like this? There is no hook in the story. There is no reason to want to read more. You did not create this amazing cliff hanger that makes me want to read part two. You did not sell me on the idea that your part two would be worth reading with your part one. 

There is not much orginality here. If you are going to write a fan fiction type work, you can't just copy a lot of stuff and then add it a few small bits of your own work. Why can't you or others so interested in warrior cats make up your own creative things using the world? There is so much you can do within a world another person has already created besides pretty much copying exactly what happens typically in the book. 

You get two choices in the game. That doesn't seem like the reader is really choosing their story at all. The second choice doesn't matter at all either. Two choices does not really make up something that deserves a decent rating. 

I'm guessing gender will be used for choosing what mate you'll get later on in later parts of the storygame because that is typical in these games. On that topic, not every character in the book had a mate. Some of the warriors were just not interested in having mates and kits. You shouldn't need to make the reader's character have to have a mate and kits. This goes back to the whole "be creative" thing. You don't have to follow every single typical thing. The reader's character doesn't have to be the average of traits and experiences that the typical character in the book experiences. 
 

-- NightBirdBlue on 7/24/2014 11:21:30 AM

'Tis a very good comment with advice and critisim.

Recommending a storygame for deletion:

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/warriors~3a-sweets~7e

• After receiving at least 7 ratings and being published for at least 1 week, the storygame is rated 2/8 and its length is 1/8?

Breaks the minimum site standards.

Recommending a tag change for a storygame:

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/timescape~21

Based Off A True Story

This is certainly not socially important.

Recommending a category change for a storygame:

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/the-skillful-tactician

Everything Else

All quizzes seem to go in Everything Else.

Recommending a tag change for a storygame:

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/ticg~3a-the-game~21

Based Off A True Story, Humor.

It is certainly not geared for extremist. It is clearly not part of a series. It is certainly not an RPG. It is not serious or socially important. It has nothing to do with war or zombies.

Recommending a tag change for a storygame:

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/Blood-and-Time

Humor and Serious.

This doesn't look like a CYOA Movie and it isn't Part Of A Series. It also isn't an RPG.

Recommending a tag change for a storygame:

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/a-light-within-a-darkness

Based Off Of A True Story

This is not an RPG.

Recommending a tag change for a storygame:

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/sora-(chapter-1)

Part Of A Series

This is neither Historical or an RPG.

Recommending a tag change for a storygame:

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/the-matching-chapter-0ne

Part of Series.

This is not an RPG. This is not Historical and nor is the original source material. This is not a CYOA Movie.

Recommending a tag change for a storygame:

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/the-murder-of-mary-jane-kelly-part-one-introduction

Part of Series, Serious.

It doesn't seem to be a puzzle or an RPG.

Recommending a comment for deletion:

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/i~2e-hate~2e-zombies~2e

k vhjdeq2o

-- Mtactical on 11/18/2013 1:38:34 PM

Random and pointless.

Recommending a tag change for a storygame:

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/shoplifting-adventure

 

I don't think this is geared for extremist.

Recommending a category change for a storygame:

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/a-pug's-purpose

Everything Else

Most Animal* POV seems to go into Everything Else. *Non-Humanoid.

Recommending a tag change for a storygame:

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/myadventuregame~2ecom-the-game-

 

I don't think this is a puzzle.

Recommending a tag change for a storygame:

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/the-underground-railroad - Both suggestions are from this link.

Historical and Serious.

This had naught to do with war.

Recommending a category change for a storygame:

Everything Else

Slave stories tend to go into Everything Else, besides, this story wasn't educational.

Recommending a tag change for a storygame:

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/boys-at-school-~2d-for-girls

Based Off A True Story.

This is neither humorous or an RPG.

Recommending a comment for deletion:

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/dirty-laundry

yep

-- BerkaZerka on 12/24/2011 9:08:42 PM with a score of 0

Not sure what "Yep" is supposed to mean :P

Recommending a comment for deletion:

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/high-school-romance - Both suggestions are from this link.

Well written, but as everyone else said, too short... you should revamp it, maybe make it a bit more difficult to get a date, and make some option where you may actually be able to get the popular girl as well.

-- Mercedes on 1/10/2013 11:46:18 AM

Duplicate comment.

Recommending a tag change for a storygame:

Serious

Surely this isn't a puzzle.

Recommending a tag change for a storygame:

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/wolf-heart

 

This isn't an RPG.

Recommending a tag change for a storygame:

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/in-life-and-death

 

This is not Socially Important.

Recommending a tag change for a storygame:

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/tick-tock-goes-the-clock?

 

This is not socially important.

Recommending a comment for deletion:

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/calvin-and-hobbes-quiz

MERP

-- -_- on 6/28/2014 3:52:37 PM

I don't think Merp applies to this situation. It doesn't really make sense to write it as a comment to this story.

Recommending a tag change for a storygame:

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/you-are-a-fish - Both suggestions are from the same link.

Based Off A True StoryPart of Series

I don't think this is a puzzle.

Recommending a category change for a storygame:

Everything Else

Most non-humanoid POV games seem to go into Everything Else.

Recommending a forum comment for deletion:

http://chooseyourstory.com/forums/the-lounge/message/13226

A Post For The Hell of It - 6 hours ago by 11302

NOT GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA ...

This is a spam comment, it is way too big.

Recommending a forum comment for deletion:

http://chooseyourstory.com/forums/the-lounge/message/13179

How to deal with a bratty child - 8 hours ago by 11302

Coins, this is between me and your mother.

EDIT: I know this is unnecessary, but I wanted to:

GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA ...

This is a spam comment, it is way too big.

Recommending a storygame for deleation:

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/piggeh-town

• After receiving at least 7 ratings and being published for at least 1 week, the storygame is rated 2/8 and its length is 1/8

Breaks the minimum site standards.

Recommending a storygame for deleation:

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/a-warrior-cat's-life-(part-1-of-4)

• After receiving at least 7 ratings and being published for at least 1 week, the storygame is rated 1/8

Breaks the minimum site standards.

Recommending a comment for deletion:

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/finals-week~21

I loved it. I liked how there were endings you couldn't go through. I am going to try to get straight A's, because I am a straight A student in school. I really liked this, and I hope you make others in the not-so-distant future.

-- Little_Schooler on 4/22/2014 12:36:11 AM with a score of 38

Duplicate comment.

Recommending a category change for a storygame:

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/surviving-the-ebd-classroom

?Edutainment

I'm pretty sure this is supposed to be educational material, it seems to be trying to teach upcoming teachers how to behave in the classroom.

Recommending a comment for featuring:

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/eternal

Long comment ahead, beware! This was my first time playing one of these stories, and I am immensely impressed. 
The best kinds of stories leave you with a sort of melancholy in their wake. I came across this story with the intention of spending a few minutes on "choose-your-own" nostalgia, but ended up witnessing the rise and fall of a rich world, the cultivation of a cast of full human characters, and the development of believable anti-hero protagonist who (despite my best attempts to curb his tyranny) became just as bad as the Emperor he intended to depose--albeit with all the best intentions in mind--and ended up an Eternal Messiah. 
Though the story is occasionally linear, the choices it poses are involved and always difficult. I found myself often following one choice for a few pages, deciding I didn't like the outcome, reverting to the other option, and discovering it to be just as bad--but in a different way. Everything, from the very first choice to die, struggle, or beg, lasts to the end. 
The characters are overall excellent, my favorite being Dendrin (I must have a soft spot for snarky pseudogods), though my own character was interesting as well. Talia (my male character's romantic interest) came off as a little flat, though (but maybe this is just me, as a female cis/ace person, trying to understand a straight relationship from a male perspective and failing). Other favorites were Cyrus and Theo.(Speaking of Cyrus, loved the inclusion of a gay relationship! Loved the fact that Cyrus was a believable character whose entire existence was not written based on the fact that he was gay! +10 points for diversity!) 
The quality of the writing is pretty darn good throughout for something of this ambitious length. There are occasional slip-ups in grammar/syntax and tone, but the language is always vivid enough to get the point across, and there is nothing glaring enough to rip me out of the story. 
Worldbuilding is excellent. I don't know whether it borrows from existing fantasy worlds, whether it ties in to the author's other works, or whether it's entirely original to this story, but it felt both fantastic and darkly realistic. I'd say it's kind of a cross between Lord of the Rings (Tolkien in general), Princes of Amber series (Zelazny), Elder Scrolls, and a webcomic by one Ashley Cope called Unsounded that you ALL SHOULD READ because it's EXCELLENT. 
My favorite part of this is the realism--political, moral, interpersonal--of it. There's no way, at least that I can tell from the one extended playthrough I've done, to play the shining moral beacon of goodness. For example, from the first moment I read about the Empire I wanted to take it down. Okay, you can take down the Empire--but at what cost? I ended up making things worse as the land falls to squabbling warlords. Everything was painted in Blue and Orange Morality as I tried (and possibly failed) to not become the villain. And yet even as my character became murderous, I could still empathize with him. The only other work I can think of right now that has this similar sort of moral realism is web-serial writer Wildbow's work (Worm and Pact--things you all should ALSO READ because they are EXCELLENT). 

Anyway, here I am posting a comment of ridiculous length on something that probably hasn't gotten a comment in quite some time. Excellent work, and I will be playing more to see if I can get endings other than (and perhaps less villainous than?) Eternal Messiah. 

-- allison on 5/18/2014 2:39:36 AM with a score of 0

That was a very good character and described the story and her emotions very well. Although it is a massive block of text and has some pleads to read other stuff, overall, it is an amazing comment.

Replace:

Wow. This was a fantastic story it was well written, engaging, and you really feel invested in the story. I know many people will complain about the lack of choices in it for a choose your own adventure story. But for what it was, it was incredible.

-- D'Ante on 7/23/2012 10:53:00 PM with a score of 0

Honestly, this isn't a comment worth featuring in my eyes anyway. It certainly doesn't comment of all aspects of the story and it doesn't really go into detail.

Recommending a comment for featuring:

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/eternal

After reading through every single page, I have to say that this storygame is nothing short of fucking incredible. The sheer epicness of the scale and length of the story, the volume of content and the number of different story paths is amazing. The amount of time and effort taken to write all this must be unbelievably big. 
But the quality isn't hampered by the quantity. All of the paths for the 13 different 'proper endings' are entertaining, even if some are inevitably not as good as others. One of the most fun things about Eternal is to play through all of these and see how things end up differently regarding the plot and the deeply interesting and lifelike characters. Even the 'dead end' endings are really good, and personally I think some of the best fight scenes come from these endings. 
Something I didn't like was the numerous spelling and grammatical errors scattered throughout the game. You can get over that easily enough though, as it's not too frequent. I also didn't like some of the storylines as much as the others. Having played through what I would say were the best paths first, I felt that the worse paths I played afterwards were a bit of a letdown, even though they were still a good read. 
Eternal is well worth your time. I think it's by far the best storygame on this site, even out of all of EndMaster's masterpieces.

-- 31TeV on 12/11/2013 3:58:38 AM with a score of 0

Not as good as the comment above but it is a good comment nonetheless. It goes over some aspects of the story in a manor that was detailed enough to give me a good amount of infomation.

Replace:

A very dark read, but it was amazing nonetheless. It was entertaining, the characters were engaging (especially Gruz) and the story was immersing. There were a few minor grammatical/spelling errors, and at times it felt a little linear, but it was nothing that detracted from my enjoyment of the story. Well done. (I got the Eternal Couple epilogue.)

-- October on 9/28/2011 11:10:41 PM with a score of 0

This comment isn't feature worthy in my eyes either. It doesn't go over aspects of Eternal in a detailed manor, it just sort of skims over them.

Recommending a comment for featuring:

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/eternal

Finally! I have been waiting for the 3rd branch of "Eternal" since I first found this site, and now I finished it. Almost everything about it is outstanding, from the way The EndMaster incorporates (or at least implies) "Necromancer" into the story as well as tying everything about the world/story/events together; a rare but yet extremely fulfilling experience that cannot be found in the traditional style of storytelling. 

I swear, if this was published (although that would be another story/challenges entirely), I would buy this in an instant, not only because it'd be easier to convince others this style is a legitimate way of storytelling, but also as a way to pay The EndMaster for his time and effort into making something memorable. This is the first for me to feel like donating money for something that's free entertainment. 

The only criticism I'd give is the somewhat minor errors in grammar and "exrta" words left in sentences that clearly aren't suppose to be there. Another look into the parts of the story branch that leads to the 13th ending will show what I am talking about. As for the other parts of the whole story, I'm unsure if this is as noticeable as it's been almost a year since I've read the first 2 branches of "Eternal". 

I have much more to say but that would take up the comments page so I'll end it with this; "Eternal" is one the best. It deserves its 8/8 from me in my book; it truly "enlightened me" to this way of storytelling and makes me wish these kind of "books" were mainstream or had a much larger following. Despite being one of the first "choose your story" I've ever read, I haven't found anything close to The EndMaster's stories, especially "Eternal" and probably will be for a long time. 

Thanks!

-- ArchyMej on 11/26/2013 2:11:14 AM with a score of 0

Another very good comment.

Replace:

Perhaps my favorite part of playing through this storygame was how the early ending had a real sense of being an ending. They weren't just "you died, the end". The writing was very well done, but there are a few grammatical errors here and there (almost unavoidable really, with the length of the work). The characters were both believeable and very much alive! Thank you for allowing us to take a walk through your eternal vision. Overall, a wonderful read and a masterful demonstration of what a storygame can be, remember this!

-- oldmankatan on 10/22/2011 11:20:22 AM with a score of 

Recommending a comment for featuring:

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/happy-house - All suggestions are from this link.

This game is definitely better than your last one (and waaay less random). I liked the general setting, though in my opinion it didn't need to be a 6/8 maturity setting, as the gore, with CYS standards, isn't all that bad. 

I would have liked to see some 'setting' in your story. Maybe some more background, or descriptions. Your story at this moment is (heavily simplified): "You are sitting at home. Oh no, you're being attacked, what do you do?". I, as the reader, can't really identify with 'my' character if I don't even know who he/she is or what is going on. 

There is also a weirdish kind of loop in the kitchen when you hear noises coming from the basement and go to investigate, but you suddenly end back up in the kitchen and et cetera, et cetera. 

Like I said before, I liked your story and it is a definite improvement if you consider your last one. This shows that you are improving as a writer and I'm sure that you'll write even better stories in the future. Though if I may make one last suggestion: the plot is kinda cliche and I'm sure that you could come up with a better one. 

I've decided to give it a 4/8, mainly because of the overall shortness of the story and the little amount of (descriptive) text on each page.

-- Romulus on 8/2/2014 9:55:28 PM with a score of 0

Very good comment that contains a bug and some criticism. It was a good length and formatted well.

Recommending a comment for featuring:

This story shows some good improvements in your writing when compared to your first story. There is an actual plot, and it doesn't give me a headache to read. 

This is probably as simple as a horror story can get. You're home alone and hear noises and you use typical movie logic. While I'm glad that you seem capable of grabbing a basic horror plot, I wish you could expand on it more. Try to find inspiration from other horror stories, and maybe even make your own villain. 

I don't know if this is intentional, but this needs to be addressed. In this story, which I went through three times, there is a part where you are investigating what is happening around your house. For some reason, I am unable to continue the story when I am actually trying to go and see what is happening. Instead, I have to go back to my living room (movie logic) and just watch television. 

Giving more details of the scene will be greatly appreciated. If you were to paint this scene out to me in a way that can suck me into the story, it will help setting the mood for a horror storygame. In the end, this storygame is best described as generic. 

My final verdict is a 3/8. It's okay, but it leaves more to be desired.

-- Danaos on 8/2/2014 10:51:34 PM with a score of 0

Very good comment that contains a bug and some criticism. It was a good length and formatted well.

Recommending a change in maturity for a storygame:

4

Again, i'm not really sure what it should be but a six is way too high. It doesn't really have gore and the descriptions are not very great.

I didn't think Kiel's comment was worthy of featuring. I didn't think Timescape should continue to have the 'based off a true story' tag, either. I think The Skillful Tactician is fine in Edutainment. Sora shouldn't have the part of a series tag, because it isn't yet. Nor should, 'The Matching' or Mary Jane Kelly. I'll leave the Puzzle tag on myadventuregame.

Agreed on everything else! Wow, great finds!

Thanks JJ, I had been building it up :D

Recommending storygame for deletion:

- Trunks the swordsman

- The story commits the following sins:

• 1/8 Length. It is exactly three pages.
• Bad grammar
• No story
• Lack of editing (missing links)
• Possible troll story

It actually has more than three pages, quite a few more, but it needs deleting anyhow.

Yeah, I don't know why but when I chose the transform option my first time, it ended the game. The other two still end the game. For me at least.

Definitely agree. 

Gohan's Adventure

Made by the same author, its 4x worse, it has no choices, near story, horrible grammar, and paired with the previous game, I'm starting to smell troll poop. That or the IceJJFish of the literary world.

 

Agreed

@monkeyduke2

Thanks for the suggestion. I assume you want that to be deleted? I recommend following the steps that JJ has provided.

Recommending a storygame for Deleation:

- A link to the storygame

?- A short explanation of why

Also, you need to tell us which of the minimum site standards it brakes. http://chooseyourstory.com/help/articles/article.aspx?ArticleId=38. Also, when suggesting, it is preferred to reply to the original post. This makes it easier for all of us.

Gohan's Adventure

Holy crippled kidneys I don't know how he made it worse. I recommend this and its predecessor should be wiped off the face of the Earth immediately

• The storygame has all of the following characteristics:
  • Grammar and style poor enough that it cannot be ignored- 
  • A plot which is poor or nonexistent-
  • Poor pacing (usually characterized by frequent and unpredictable end game links)- 
  • A lack of important decisions
  • Unbelievable or overly cliched dialogue (if dialogue is present in the story)

That is good, and I agree with all the points. 

A tip though, I recommend linking the story description page rather than the story itself.

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/gohans-adventure

Agreed. Also 10 points to Madbrad for the incredible help on this thread.

Thanks again!

Comments recommended for deletion:

...
-- eclipsedghost on 7/22/2014 11:08:07 PM
(On: http://chooseyourstory.com/story/gohans-adventure )
(Reason: Once for the original and it's lack of letters.)
...
-- eclipsedghost on 7/22/2014 11:07:48 PM
(On: http://chooseyourstory.com/story/gohans-adventure )
(Reason: Once more for the double comment.)

erm... what?
-- cooldude on 1/11/2010 4:29:34 PM
(On: http://chooseyourstory.com/story/Ghost-House)
(Reason: Useless comment.)

yep
-- BerkaZerka on 12/24/2011 9:08:42 PM with a score of 0
(On: http://chooseyourstory.com/story/Dirty-Laundry)
(Reason: xD Sorry, Berka, it's kind of a pointless comment.)

Woot!
-- BerkaZerka on 1/18/2012 3:50:53 PM
(On: chooseyourstory.com/story/escape-from-the-dead)
(Reason: xD Not picking on you, I swear, but still not useful.)

baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaad
-- Expander on 12/25/2007 10:06:15 AM
(On: http://chooseyourstory.com/story/Hellsing-Quiz)
(Reason: ... Obnoxious, but I assume this recommendation is futile. However, techinically, "bad" is a real word and "baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaad" isn't. xD No? Still futile?)

:) Rhinebeck we :) vv mmHg d
-- it ed bdbgg on 6/16/2014 7:49:37 PM
(On: http://chooseyourstory.com/story/A-stranger%27s-love )
(Reason: Um. I'll be honest. I can't figure out if this is just a language I've never heard of or pure nonsense.)

hahahahaaa....huh?
-- DarthNelly on 3/27/2013 3:03:18 PM
(On: http://chooseyourstory.com/story/ducky-park )
(Reason: Useless.)

Comments recommended for featuring:

It's not bad, just not very exciting. Besides the "pick a side" choice, there was almost nothing to show for the group interaction.

The few occupations listed per the people seemed like picking an occupation to sort of match their input. This person's a cop, that person's a teacher, but what do they have to show for it in their interaction with the player? They don't talk about their job. They don't interact in a specific way that would be understandable given the type of people who would enjoy the occupation they chose. They might as well have been Nameless Cop, Nameless Doctor, etc. since names are only given to people or things we want to become personally attached to, and I felt no connection with this Katherine, or this "Doc", or Bert. As for choosing a side, it doesn't really come up or affect the story in any way. It seems like it was just there for its own sake.

It would have been thrilling to see a clash between two or more people, in which you are offered the chance to get involved, and presented multiple ways with inserting yourself into the situation and deciding who you sided with. The lack of encounters with the undead was disappointing. The complete lack of "uh-oh, there's a zombie/zombies coming, what do you do?" seemed to be a huge fault, but from reading the description of the game, I can see why. We're not challenged to survive, but instead to pick how we reach the end. Nobody dies. You aren't presented with any harrowing choices, such as the obvious, age-old "how do I save this guy, or do I save him at all".

I don't know if you plan to write another, but thrill us! Make us panic(at least as panicky as a text-based CYOA player can get), let the people in your stories have a chance(or two) to shine and make us care about them, give them skills and let them contribute to the plot, and maybe even add some villains, or at least adversaries!

It's almost as if this story is dead. Don't get me wrong, its corpse is pretty. A story is at its best when the characters are allowed to be themselves and act/grow naturally. There was none of that. Sure, they played their parts, like advocating something during that choice I mentioned, or playing their part when they're given jobs to do(mostly offstage as it were), but otherwise it just seemed like you told them to shut up and act their part.
-- zeb on 12/10/2012 12:04:18 AM

(On: http://chooseyourstory.com/story/escape-from-the-dead)
(Reason: In my opinion, this is a well thought-out comment that gives the writer good advice on how to improve.)

^If you must haha!

But this is a good thing I suppose (we are really looking deep into the comments now to find ones to delete).

Brad beat you to Berka's comment 'yep' and I think his 'woot' was just fine.

Agreed on everything else.

But ... huh?  How is "woot" a useful comment? 0.o

It's not necessarily useful, but it's basically just saying 'cool' or something. That's fine by site rules as it is basically assessing the game, even if it's not a detailed assessment.

Not exactly from the topic, but can we suspend 11302's publishing capabilities for the time being? He's been pulling TSR traits, having plagirized a story, then deleted it, and now he is publishing garbage without care. 

Is that even possible? Either way, if we makes bad stories, we can just request it to be deleted. He got rid of that other game anyway,

I have no idea if it we can, but it doesn't matter if we can delete his stuff, since he'll just continue, and if we can, he deserves to be removed as a writer until he matures. 

As an added fact

http://chooseyourstory.com/forums/the-lounge/message/13188

Based off of this thread, I suspect 11302 is a troll and should be banned. 

Already reported it, not sure if he should be banned but some kind of reprimand is needed.

Edit: JJ has dished out a punishment.

Yeah, he should be banned.

Banned? No. He should at least get a warning first. He is annoying and unfunny, but I don't think he is intentionally irritating us.

James, he stated that he was. 

Hmm...I missed that.

Edit: Okay, sorry. I read the entire thread. He is being an ass. Still, this seems almost uncharacteristic, does it not? I don't recall him doing or saying anything like this previously. I mean, I guess it doesn't matter.

He did this to me a long time ago when I rated his first cake game. But that was via pm and he apologized for it. He generally spam's a lot of threads with random stuff and acted like this in the thread about his game, Ash Winter.

In the thread Aman posted, 11302 literally said he made the thread to waste people's time :P

He already got punished. He said in the thread that he made the game intentionally bad and made the thread to waste our time.

Recommending comment for featuring:

- Friend Zone

- I am actually very critical of romance stories, to be honest. It's only a rare occasion where I don't find them a little too cheesy, unrealistic, clumsy, boring, so on. (Or, hey, they can also be just poorly disguised smut / porn in some cases.) I didn't hate or even particularly dislike this, but I can't say I really ... liked it.


I have actually enjoyed homework more than I did this story, but I'm a nerd, so maybe that doesn't really count. For a first story, it's really not... -bad-, you've got some errors here and there, but nothing hideous or glaring, so you're doing better than a lot of new writers.


However, the story is short. None of the paths give a reader adequate time to develop a bond with any of the characters, so I can't say I care about them. I think the crush in this story is kind of an ass and the best friend is, too, but eh. That's as far as my opinion of the characters goes. I know nothing about Oliver and the extent I know of April is that she's sad and she has had an exceptionally long crush on a guy, expecting him to know without being told. That's it.


There's nothing wrong with a short story, mind you, but it has to 1: be the kind of story that -can- be told in few page, and 2: still convey an interesting, full story in the short space it's given. Love stories don't tend to fit both requirements very well.


Also, as far as romances go, this isn't a particularly interesting story. Oh, sure, it's one that most of us can relate to and that's a good idea for a premise--but that also means you have a lot of pressure on you to capture that emotion, those circumstances, and that heart-ache realistically.


At first, I thought you might manage. I mean, I can see a girl spending a few hours in bed, tissues everywhere, depressed, stiff all over from curling up and crying over the loss of her crush to her bestie. It's not hard to imagine in real life. Unfortunately, later on, the story feels pretty awkward and unrealistic in some places.


All of that said, I will commend you on the fact that it's not very linear for a short story. You can have more than three endings and for a first story, that's pretty good. They're also varied in tone, since a couple are happy, some are bitter sweet, and a couple are just downers. Keep at it, okay? I think you'll get better. I'd advise putting more time into the next one.

-- Kiel_Farren

^Already suggested it.

Lol, two people vying for a point from my comment? I'm flattered.

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/press-start

This game was okay. I really like quizzes, and this one has potential too. However, I find it a shame that you didn't finish your game before publishing it. An unfinished game, even if you say you'll add more things later, will in my experience be played once and never again and will be rated like an unfinished game. 

But, as I said, I really like the quiz concept. Too be honest, I guessed most of the answers, but I liked the questions and the different games you discuss. The only things that I kinda missed were explanations of the answers. (like: "Though many more pokemon exist now, at the beginning only <Spoiler> existed", I know... bad example) 

I also would have liked to see my answers matter, like with a score system or something or a screen at the end of the quiz that says which answers I got wrong/right. 

I've given this game a 3/8, mostly because, like I said before, the quiz itself is decent and fun, but it is unfinished.

-- Romulus on 7/24/2014 7:40:03 PM with a score of 6

Make sure you let him know that you are recommending if for featuring. Unless you want it deleted?

You'll need to follow the format given in the OP. Thanks. Thanks, Danaos.

Story For Deletion

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/gohans-adventure

The story has no choices in it whatsoever.

@xScaryFacex

Thanks for the suggestion but you need to list what minimum site standards it breaks. http://chooseyourstory.com/help/articles/article.aspx?ArticleId=38

However, somebody has already recommended it so theres no point xD

Well, the grammar is just technically awful. The author I don't think even uses speech marks once when a character is speaking.

I can't remember to be honest, but that doesn't matter, you need to list the minimum site standards it breaks if you want your request to be granted. Someone already beat you to it though :P

Darn it! I hate it when that happens.

TSR, complaining about the quality of someone else's story... amusing...

Scary face is TSR?

Yes. Just ask 3J.

Honestly though, I'm not sure why TSR told me. :P I can think of a dozen ways to f*ck with someone under an alternate identity. He tried one, failed at it, then freaked out and confessed. I'm not for trolling and I don't see why he singled me out, but he could've at least put some effort into it. Fail. :P

Ah. So that's the infamous TSR? Funny. I made a instinctive "I don't like you" welcome comment on his Newbie Central post a few days ago. xD 

I noticed that, and after I found out who he was, I found it pretty damn funny... xD

Comments for Deletion
http://chooseyourstory.com/story/a-warrior-cat%27s-life-%28part-1-of-4%29

I opened it up saying, "Hey, it can't be THAT bad!" then left saying to myself "It was worse".
Four pages (Being born, meeting brother, ceremony, TO BE CONTINUED page) is not a storygame. It is not a story, nor a game. It is a waste of time.
Constructive criticism:
1)MAKE THESE LONGER! Put much, much more effort into them.
2)It wouldn't hurt to improve you grammar. Just throwing that out there.
3) Make these more INTERESTING!!! I cannot emphasize that enough. I felt like I was in hell being forced to read the most boring selection imaginable as a form of torture, only to realize that I was in Arizona in the middle of July reading yet another Warrior Cat fanfic/storygame.
Sorry if I'm coming across as harsh, but seriously? I could have done something more fun in the time it took to play this storygame, like eat a pretzel.
Rating:
1/8

-- GabbyElla on 7/28/2014 8:27:12 PM

Duplicate Comment
__________________________________________________

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/Rebel-Jedi-2~3a--The-Rebel-Base

At some points I felt as though this story just gave you random deaths for seemingly normal answers.

For example, when your fellow gunner dies, I picked to stay in my dome instead of helping him. However, I died because "a stray blaster fire engulfes your dome in flames". At some points this was pretty frustrating, because the deaths had no correlation to the action that I picked!

But for the most part, this story was pretty good. A definite improvement from the first one. The writing could've been more detailed, and the deaths/choices/logic could have been more thought-out, but that's all of my complaints. Good story.

6/8.

-- Fazz on 7/23/2014 5:03:54 AM

 Duplicate Comment

 

@NightBirdBlue

Thanks for the suggestion, I would recommend hyperlinking the links to make it easier for JJ though.

Sorry, my phone doesn't like this site very much. It takes upwards of 15 minutes to copy and paste. Hyperlinking would probably be impossible with it.

I would suggest not commenting on this thread from your phone, then. It's very nice that you want to help, but when I have to spend extra time, it makes it pretty tough for me.

Recommending a story-game for unpublishing:

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/piggeh-town

Reasons: It has been published for 7 days, it has a rating of 2, and it has a length of 1.

Huh, I could have sworn I already suggested that.

EDIT: Nevermind, Brad did in his long ass list.

Recommending comment for featuring:

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/happy-house

For a game this short, I was surprised to find a coherent story that didn't feel like it ended abruptly. I don't know how you did it, but it felt like there was a proper build up, climax, and resolution of the plot.

That being said, I wasn't sure if you were going for the horror movie kind of feeling, but if you were, some more description to build a creepy atmosphere would have been nice. The various methods of fighting back and surviving were fun to play though, although anyone who's familiar with the horror genre will easily be able to pick out the obvious death flags (which isn't necessarily a bad thing). My last nit-picky complaint is that there's no real explanation for why you were suddenly attacked, which, while not absolutely crucial to the story, still left me with a vague feeling of incompleteness when I finished the game.

All in all, very much worth the time it took to play and a significant improvement from your previous game.

Comment left by the_quiller

Agreed!

Recommending this comment for featuring for the short story 'Shoot the Guards'

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/shoot-the-guards

The thing about this game is that its at least one of the worst I've ever played.

First of all, the whole "escaping out of prison elaborately" plot could've been worked out A LOT MORE. A LOT MORE. How is this story difficulty 4/8? All you do is click items and advance.

These are one of those stories which have a great plot, but then ruin it with the actual story. I was hoping to find some more within this.

The items aren't even imaged, the writing has some mistakes and could've been more puffed up and detailed, the plot could've been extended, a lot of things could've been detailed more...

I think someone already said this below me, but it seems like you're just playing around with items and script to see how it works out.

-- Fazz on 7/28/2014 5:48:33 AM with a score of 0

Thanks for the reccomendation! However, I don't think that comment is well-written enough to be featured. I agree with the points he's making and he gives good constructive criticism (and those are necessary for a comment to be featured) but a featured comment also has to flow well and be well written.

Why would you create this? The story unpublishing thing, only serves to have writers work removed. It also weakens the community's bonds. You encourage the "ratting out" of players... why? Why not take the time to go through stories yourself, or have a new position just for this.

Instead, you have set up a system of betrayal. Time and time again, the community's bonds and friendships are weakened by this, like an infection. Just my two cents.

What are you on about?

There are very strict guidelines that must be followed when recommending a story. So, if you actually put effort into a game, it is likely to stay. I believe that the recommendation system is necessary because it serves to preserve the quality of writing on this site. What would happen if the only thing new people saw was a bunch of crappy attempts at writing? It would drive away people who could greatly contribute to the site. That's just my opinion, though.

If you want to keep talking about this, we should take it to another thread, though.

Wow, that's an... interesting choice of wording :P But this thread isn't only created to point out sub-standard games, but also  for example to recommend the work of certain community members. And really: "the community's bonds and friendships are weakened by this, like an infection."? I'd say that it helps bring the (active) members of the community together by working together to improve the quality of writing on the site (or entertain lurkers, like me). Story games are also only unpublished if they don't fit the criteria which the community created. :)

I agree. You learn more from failure then you do from success. 

When a writer continuously publishes terrible stories with little to no effort put into them, it is fully justified to be eliminated. No one on this site is "ratting out" each other. I honestly don't understand what you mean by him going through them himself. He's just one man, and there have been hordes of bad stories that even Chuck Norris wouldn't bother tackling. Having one person deal with all of it isn't going to do much more. It's more efficient to get the help of the people and have them act as his eyes. There is nothing wrong with asking for assistance.

There is no "system of betrayal". If a story doesn't meet the minimum standards, it is gone. Period. On the contrary, it brings people together. It shows who contributes to the site, and it gives us a few laughs when we point out an awful troll story. If there is anything that would weaken the community bonds, I highly doubt it would be this.

You're bitter because your storygame was so bad that it didn't even meet our incredibly relaxed minimum site standards, and was subsequently deleted.

You're not bitter because this thread exists.

Let's just get that straight.

This thread has brought the community together, not torn it apart. You cite 'time and time again' in your post. Go ahead and point those times out, right now.

I meant, time and time again as in, every time you host this. Madbrad200, was called a rat to his face. And earns points, off of screwing other people over.

You encourage people, to screw others over, and to trash and badmouth other peoples writing.

Also, don't try to predict my feelings. Why? That's just plain ignorant. You have no means of knowing what I'm thinking. Let's just get that straight.

You fool, 3J is into mind-reading fetishism. (non-vanilla leanings indeed, the fiend!)

Really though, the thread is just weeding out the site. No bad, only good.

Dude, no offense, but this really isn't the guy you want to be blunt with.

Also, the "screwing people over" acts as a sort of quality control, ensuring that the only games/comments on this site are the ones worth reading, not a bunch of random, mindless drivel.

Go back to Spiral Knights. Ths isn't a thread you should be having an argument on, anyway.

*facepalm* -First of all,- these threads aren't just about story deletion and you know it.

They're also about praising stories that are good, and rewarding commentary that is thoughtful, helpful, encouraging, so forth. It is also a chance for us to recommend stories for categories more suited to their content to help people find them more easily... and to change the maturity rating (/ other ratings) if it presents something inappropriate for younger readers.

There is also the deletion of comments on stories that are too inappropriate, trollish, so on, and yes, the deletion of -stories- that are trollish, inappropriate, -or- do not match up to a predetermined set of standards.

3J is one guy. He cannot find all of these. There are thousands of comments on this site and hundreds of story games and billions of things that can go wrong with them.

Well said, Kiel.
 

Malkalack would save himself a lot time if he just went ahead and compared JJJ to Hitler and accused him of creating his own CYS Gestapo. 

Or given the age of most people here, his own private JJJ YOUTH.

 

Wait, this isn't JJJ youth?

...

...

Fuck it, I'm going back to IS.

I'd only join 3J-Youth if 3J would congratulate me on coining racist terms, like that really nice HitlerYouth Director on Stormfront.

Great ideas!

You already started

Don't attempt to go against 3J in any circumstance related to the site xD especially starting an argument about something...you'll lose 10 - 0

Ford, I'm growing to like you again xD

The purpose of this thread is cooperative moderating of the site through the community and the admins. As it was stated, unpublishing stories is only a small part of it. If a story is deleted, there is good reason. If it is insulted, it was not only a crappy story, but likely a troll story.

Did you not see the first post of this thread? It doesn't say, "Alright guys, if you find a game you think is shit, tell me so I can delete and mock it." There are more positive purposes for this thread.

If Brad was called a rat, it was either by a troll or someone joking with him. Just as I claimed that Briar had a vendetta against another user because she kept recommending comments for deletion. It was a joke, that user was just spamming.

Seriously Malkalack, just stop while you're behind. The people that get "badmouthed" as you say, are usually the ones who don't improve despite countless trying to help. Or the people that claim nothing is wrong with their writing when they receive criticism.

Well said, Danaos.

Hey Madbrad, have you felt weakened by these threads? Had-his-story-deleted-and-is-bitter-about-it over here thinks you're hurting because everyone hates you for being a 'rat'.

Or maybe, you feel great about this thread because you're enjoying cleaning up the website. Maybe you feel proud because you and Reverencia have used these threads to their fullest to help the site and you've done more good than anyone else has!

Maybe, the only time that you've felt bad about about this thread is when Malkalack here said: "[Madbrad earns points, off of screwing other people over.]"

@Madbrad200

Malkalack, you're acting like an imbecile.

"You encourage people, to screw others over, and to trash and badmouth other peoples writing. "

No, I don't. I encourage the users of this site to take an active role in the stewardship of her storygame section. In other words, I encourage them to find storygames written so utterly poorly that they can hardly even be called storygames. Like yours, for instance.

They do so willingly because they care about the website.

Please continue with the insights that you've gathered over your three weeks with us. Surely, your wisdom will shine through. Also, continue to ignore everything else that happens in this thread outside of storygame deletion. Why stop picking and choosing now?

Honestly, I've not saw anyone call me a rat but if they did, I would probably laugh it off. I have questioned the morality of this but I do it because I enjoy it, I enjoy clearing the site and even possibly helping someone. Heh, maybe I do feel a bit proud every time you agree with my suggestion. The reward is just a nice bonus on the side. If I didn't want to do this, I'm sure no one here would mind. If I request a comment or story to be deleted, it is for a reason. I don't just do any random story because I fell like it. As for Mal's game, as he should already know, it broke the minimum site standards and it needed to go.

Do I feel offended from what Mal said? I probably would if I didn't already laugh at it.

And as Kiel said, we don't just delete things that people have made. We encourage good writing via featuring comments and story's, we help people find story's right for them by fixing there category and difficulty ect. Why did you create this thread? Probably because doing this all by yourself would be a nightmare. It brings us together.

Picking and choosing? I am picking and choosing, purely because you are pissing on peoples writing. I have no qualms with comment deletion, or comment featuring, but what pisses me off is that you delete storygames.

Deleting Silvermoon's warrior cats, for instance. It may have sucked. Mine may have sucked. But we still worked on it, and it's an affront to just spit in someone's face like that. And shouldn't you take a little more civil tone? You are a moderator, after all.

You could say it is a spit in the face to publish 'garbage' without first looking at the minimum site standards. The COMMUNITY voted and contributed to theses standards, everyone shall abide by them. Whether you spent a few days for a few hours, if you are not willing to abide by the standards we have set, then you shall see your story deleted.

If you are willing to publish these story's, knowing they may very well be deleted, then so be it.

Talking about a civil tone... :P Listen, since you're using the site, you agree to abide to the site policies and standards, which you can find under the 'help & info' button on the left. If your story is deemed of too little a quality by the community, then it will be deleted. These standards have been made and accepted by the whole community. The choice to delete storygames instead of unpublishing them, though I agree that it is a harsh measure, has been made because trolls kept republishing their stories which would not show up under the 'new storygames' category. This would mean that much time and effort would be wasted to keep unpublishing said stories.

Furthermore, I want to ask you: how much effort did you put into writing your story that got deleted? How many hours? Can you really not think of any reason why that one would have been considered for deletion?