Player Comments on Eternal
... Yeah, this is going to be a long one. It took me months but I finally read through every single branch of every single path, got every single ending and then went back and re-read my favorite path again for good measure. To sum up... This game is fucking amaze-balls!!! ^_^
Endmaster is one of those rare and talented writers that can leave you feeling seriously emotionally moved by the end of the story. Reading the Eternal's life story from birth through to his last days genuinely makes me think about getting old and how difficult it must be to be nearing the end of your life and wondering if you could've done more with it... It's really bloody depressing. :p
Got to give Endmaster credit for his world-creating abilities aswell. I generally love High-Fantasy settings, but End always put an awesomely dark twist on his worlds. I think the story starts with a very strong beginning, having the protagonist being created and raised to become a ruthless killer utterly devoted to a corrupt government. It keeps the character treading a very thin line between villain and anti-hero, whilst still allowing the reader to sympathize with the character and even feel sorry for him. It's really interesting to see a character that can butcher an entire village of innocent men women and children without batting an eyelash, yet he has absolutely no malice or streak of cruelty in him, he just genuinely thinks he's doing what's necessary.
So... I guess now I'm just going to give a list of some of my top 3 favorite things in the story because... There's a lot of good stuff in the story!
Top three romantic interests:
3. Alison. (She's probably the nicest and most normal of all the Eternal's potential partners, and just a generally likeable character whilst still being fun and interesting.)
2. Brenda. (Of all the potential partners I think ending up with Brenda just feels most "right." Probably because she's another first gen Eternal and the protagonist grew up with her, which gives them a closeness that he doesn't have with any of the other potential partners.)
1. Decena. (... Kind of strange I picked her since I generally find mindless love to be quite annoying, but there's something about Decena that just makes me feel sorry for her. I felt she deserved a happy ending. ^_^)
Top three characters in general:
3. Lena (Quite similar to Decena, I just have a soft spot for unfortunate souls that the Eternal takes under his wing. In some respects I guess she was kind of a bitch, but then she sure has hell had enough reason to be, and while ultimately she never really gave up her quest for revenge, it was nice to see her channel it towards something meaningful, even if it didn't really work out in the end.)
2. Ulivik (What can I say? He's adorably annoying. Also I just generally enjoy watching the Eternal develop fatherly bonds with other characters. For some reason I always find the Eternal's life seems to have more meaning when he has a hand in raising or training one specific person that he cares about than the endings that involve the putting together or protecting of an entire nation.)
1. Captain Gruz (... He's just fucking awesome!) ^_^
Favorite endings (Without giving anything away):
3. Eternal Paragon
2. Eternal Survivor
1. Eternal Bane
... And yeah. This game is awesome... Read it ^_^
on 1/29/2015 6:30:38 PM with a score of 0
Long comment ahead, beware! This was my first time playing one of these stories, and I am immensely impressed.
The best kinds of stories leave you with a sort of melancholy in their wake. I came across this story with the intention of spending a few minutes on "choose-your-own" nostalgia, but ended up witnessing the rise and fall of a rich world, the cultivation of a cast of full human characters, and the development of believable anti-hero protagonist who (despite my best attempts to curb his tyranny) became just as bad as the Emperor he intended to depose--albeit with all the best intentions in mind--and ended up an Eternal Messiah.
Though the story is occasionally linear, the choices it poses are involved and always difficult. I found myself often following one choice for a few pages, deciding I didn't like the outcome, reverting to the other option, and discovering it to be just as bad--but in a different way. Everything, from the very first choice to die, struggle, or beg, lasts to the end.
The characters are overall excellent, my favorite being Dendrin (I must have a soft spot for snarky pseudogods), though my own character was interesting as well. Talia (my male character's romantic interest) came off as a little flat, though (but maybe this is just me, as a female cis/ace person, trying to understand a straight relationship from a male perspective and failing). Other favorites were Cyrus and Theo.(Speaking of Cyrus, loved the inclusion of a gay relationship! Loved the fact that Cyrus was a believable character whose entire existence was not written based on the fact that he was gay! +10 points for diversity!)
The quality of the writing is pretty darn good throughout for something of this ambitious length. There are occasional slip-ups in grammar/syntax and tone, but the language is always vivid enough to get the point across, and there is nothing glaring enough to rip me out of the story.
Worldbuilding is excellent. I don't know whether it borrows from existing fantasy worlds, whether it ties in to the author's other works, or whether it's entirely original to this story, but it felt both fantastic and darkly realistic. I'd say it's kind of a cross between Lord of the Rings (Tolkien in general), Princes of Amber series (Zelazny), Elder Scrolls, and a webcomic by one Ashley Cope called Unsounded that you ALL SHOULD READ because it's EXCELLENT.
My favorite part of this is the realism--political, moral, interpersonal--of it. There's no way, at least that I can tell from the one extended playthrough I've done, to play the shining moral beacon of goodness. For example, from the first moment I read about the Empire I wanted to take it down. Okay, you can take down the Empire--but at what cost? I ended up making things worse as the land falls to squabbling warlords. Everything was painted in Blue and Orange Morality as I tried (and possibly failed) to not become the villain. And yet even as my character became murderous, I could still empathize with him. The only other work I can think of right now that has this similar sort of moral realism is web-serial writer Wildbow's work (Worm and Pact--things you all should ALSO READ because they are EXCELLENT).
Anyway, here I am posting a comment of ridiculous length on something that probably hasn't gotten a comment in quite some time. Excellent work, and I will be playing more to see if I can get endings other than (and perhaps less villainous than?) Eternal Messiah.
-- allison on 5/18/2014 2:39:36 AM with a score of 0
After reading through every single page, I have to say that this storygame is nothing short of fucking incredible. The sheer epicness of the scale and length of the story, the volume of content and the number of different story paths is amazing. The amount of time and effort taken to write all this must be unbelievably big.
But the quality isn't hampered by the quantity. All of the paths for the 13 different 'proper endings' are entertaining, even if some are inevitably not as good as others. One of the most fun things about Eternal is to play through all of these and see how things end up differently regarding the plot and the deeply interesting and lifelike characters. Even the 'dead end' endings are really good, and personally I think some of the best fight scenes come from these endings.
Something I didn't like was the numerous spelling and grammatical errors scattered throughout the game. You can get over that easily enough though, as it's not too frequent. I also didn't like some of the storylines as much as the others. Having played through what I would say were the best paths first, I felt that the worse paths I played afterwards were a bit of a letdown, even though they were still a good read.
Eternal is well worth your time. I think it's by far the best storygame on this site, even out of all of EndMaster's masterpieces.
on 12/11/2013 3:58:38 AM with a score of 0
-- Joeyjoejoe on 1/19/2017 11:26:39 PM with a score of 0
I've been reading this story during my downtime for the past several weeks, probably have 100+ hours of just reading through all of these epilogues (not to say that some other "unofficial" endings aren't also good) and I have loved every single minute of it. At this point I have completed 12/13 endings, the only one remaining being #1, while I must agree that there are a few endings that were not as good as some others, but at the end of each story I was smiling from ear to ear or crying, the characters were very well made and the connections that are made make them feel like real people that you grow to learn about and love. 8/8 for a great story that I will never regret putting my time into.
on 1/17/2017 4:05:33 PM with a score of 0
My only qualm is that it is almost impossible to play the game without being a jerk. But that didn't stop me from binging a solid nine hours of it. I don't even think I got all the paths. Help, this story made me loose control of my life!
-- Will Hartman on 1/15/2017 1:52:03 AM with a score of 0
This book made me feel like I was him, it felt like every character was real and at the end I cried.....
-- Gilgamesh on 1/14/2017 5:35:21 AM with a score of 0
interesting, i want to know what time period it takes place in
-- john on 1/11/2017 11:47:27 PM with a score of 0
on 1/10/2017 9:39:23 AM with a score of 0
As always Endmaster is the master! Time to start over and try a different timeline to a different epilogue.
on 1/3/2017 10:36:54 AM with a score of 0
I can not even begin to imagine how long this game took. This just proves that EndMaster is one of the best writers the site has ever seen, and I would play this a thousand times over again.
Everyone said this story was the best on the site, and they were not exaggerating. I saved this story for my 1000th point, and i'm glad I did. It was worth the wait.
Thank you for bringing this storygame into the world EndMaster. 8/8.
on 12/30/2016 6:32:07 PM with a score of 0
Dude the whole sex in with the weird murderous teacher/mother figure? Really? That's fucking weird man. If your going to put something so fucked up in the story you should have at least made it optional.
-- RainSkyward on 12/28/2016 1:29:52 PM with a score of 0
This is seriously some of the most enthralling writing I've ever read. After reading it for the umpteenth last night I came to the conclusion that this is my favorite book.
The straightforward, dark, humorous way Endmaster writes helps slower readers, who have trouble with more serious/boring/verbose reads, to enjoy an otherwise dense and in-depth world.
The savagery of a dark fantasy feudal empire is disturbing, but in no way off-putting. I think that the setting was greatly benefited by the way in which Endmaster weaves words. More purple writing could have alienated some more prudish readers (the ones that weren't already scared off anyway). The deserts of Nalin/Naleen, Delergian swamp/sea, and other-such geography was actually a nice touch. I enjoyed how varied and vast everything felt. Even without going down the True Eternal path the world is massive and wonderful (I can't believe I'm calling something Endmaster wrote 'wonderful') The cultures within the story were interesting enough that I was a little sad that we didn't have more backstory pages devoted to them. None of them are original (Do I detect Warhammer vibes?), but nevertheless they're written well.
The characters are where the real action's act. Most of them are really well written, with only a few exceptions. Mistress, Alison, Talia, and Brenda are stronger, cooler, independent-er female characters than COG could ever whip up (poetic irony?) and I LOVE it. Mistress's fucked up life were funny and tragic, and I'm not someone that empathizes for fictional characters. I found the way her life to play out in both True Eternal paths to be interesting, and even worthy of her own story. The fact that the Eternal gets a little... close with her mind was a cool way to show a little bit more about her character.
Alison was just phenomenal. The relationship she had with the MC (a violent, apathetic, brainwashed sociopath) was intriguing, and almost made me feel happy for the Eternal, until I remembered what kind of monster he was. I still love Eternal Bliss though. Talia was decent. I thought her struggle between her religious beliefs and her love were well done, and I liked that Dendren's religion was a constant source of trouble for Shadow Eternal and Talia. I used to consider Brenda as the weakest of the characters. Before I read certain parts of the soldier path I thought her existence was just a plot device to broach the topic of romance to the MC. I almost forgot about her in every play through until she takes a more active role. Now after re-reading through every path of the game for the twelfth time I think I finally have a opinion/understanding on her. She's so infatuated with her husband and the Empire. His passing and another inevitable event in the soldier path rips a hole in her soul that never heals. The Eternal can comfort and support her enough to keep her from throwing in the towel but nothing will ever fill that void. That's why I didn't relate to her. I mistook it for a failure of End's writing but she's suffering from depression that's way stronger than the writing implied. Dendrin is a great character, and for some reason I love Flog. Cyrus was good in the Shadow Master path.
The only two characters I found to be "meh" were The Emperor and Decena. The Emperor could have used some more characterizing moments, since he has such a important part in the True Eternal path. Since he's the True Eternal's mentor and foster father, I think that it's an entirely reasonable criticism. Perhaps it's just a flaw in End's writing style but I found that a lot of the characters didn't have character moments beyond the bare bones. That's exactly the problem with Decena. First off, is that even her name? I struggle through scenes with her every time I read this. My suspicion is that by time End got to writing her he was starting to lose his motivation. Working too hard can be a detriment to the story and I think that the late stage Emperor path started to show signs. Around the 560's in the Republic path I started to catch this feeling again, but it wasn't as terrible without the cancer that is Decena.
Over all I think this is amazing for a hobbyist CYOA story. It has multiple disturbing genital warts, which I haven't showcased in full but I think that the overwhelming majority of the novel--and I'm not using the word lightly-- is highly entertaining. I can only hope to write this well eventually.
-- Patar on 12/24/2016 12:11:20 AM with a score of 0
I've read this many times, through frustrations and great writing, and it never ceases to amaze me. The sheer scope of this writing is hard to comprehend and quite an intriguing story. I wont say that I found every ending, I don't know when I will, but this just allows me to know that there are still numerous was to satiate my bordom. Good work EndMaster
on 12/23/2016 7:04:44 PM with a score of 0
@primoskate52354 no offense, but you must honestly suck if you played THREE TIMES IN A ROW and didnt get past age 17
on 12/22/2016 1:41:28 AM with a score of 0
just finished 2 endings.
on 12/20/2016 3:59:06 AM with a score of 0
Incredible! Loved this game. Only criticism I have is that the main character doesn't have a name. He is just referred to as "The Eternal" or various other names depending on what path you take.
on 12/16/2016 3:43:32 PM with a score of 0
It was good... Maybe improve the battles?
on 12/15/2016 2:59:01 PM with a score of 0
Feeling bad about my harsh criticism, I gave this story another try, only to, surprise, die before my 20s for the forth time. if you want an easy, quick story, don't come here. 'Dark Souls' is more forgiving than this game, at least I lived through the training in that game. I'm sorry, but it's hard to remain positive when I have been guillotined, burned, crushed, and dematerialized all before adulthood. I'll leave a better comment when I can reach an ending. until then, I will leave this with a 1/8. I guess I'll go sulk in the corner now... again... :(
on 12/15/2016 2:34:58 PM with a score of 0
This has left me feeling depressed, after playing 3 times in a row, I have failed to live anywhere past the age of 17. I wish there was more to the game than just a list of early deaths to make people feel bad about themselves, because I wish I had the opportunity to like this game. As I stand, however, I follow the "three strikes, you're out" principle, and as far as I got, this doesn't have much to it. Now, if you will excuse me, I'm gonna sulk in the corner about how difficult this is. :(
on 12/15/2016 12:53:17 PM with a score of 0
HOLY SHIT!! this story is a saga, every path you take leads to an entire trilogy of story and plot, each path seems like a book long in length. The commitment and dedication that this writer put into this is incredible... PLEASE!! If you are a true hardcore role playing or dn'd player, or etc.. PLEASE PLAY THIS!!!
on 12/12/2016 12:15:33 PM with a score of 0
As of leaving this comment, I've only finished a single one of the many storylines (it took me awhile to realize one of the earliest choices branches the story significantly), however I feel utterly satisfied and thoroughly entertained. If this one is any indication of the length and effort put into each of the branches, I'm greatly looking forward to the rest.
on 12/12/2016 11:37:07 AM with a score of 0
Wow. This was a fantastic story.. It's a neat take on a fantasy world with an interesting story (although linear.) It has great characters too, and even depth. Only wish you could make choices, but otherwise I would highly recommend this deep and interesting story.
-- Andrew on 12/9/2016 12:07:36 AM with a score of 0
I loved the story! I originally ended going into the desert with Brenda but went back to see what would happen if I went to the east instead. Not good. I was a little disappointed to not know what happened at the end with Brenda but that just adds to the emotions I felt. Great story, plot, and lore!
-- Ty on 12/8/2016 5:52:51 PM with a score of 0
sometimes you reach a point where you really want to take one path...but your certain that the other path is a quick ticket to death and feel driven to die quickly first haha.
on 12/3/2016 1:58:16 PM with a score of 0
I have no words, im speechless. Just loved this story.
-- Jonathan on 12/1/2016 12:38:14 AM with a score of 0
I did think it was amazing story, for me it ended with being sabataged and the empire falling (Thank god) Sure, the point of my character was to help the empire but secretly... I WANTED IT TO FALL! The princibles of it angered my heart, and it's a very deep story!
on 11/23/2016 9:03:20 PM with a score of 0
Jesus this must have took forever to write, I only have one epilogue down, still searching for the rest, there are very few spelling errors I catch and from what I've read, I can see how each character's goal is believable, great read overall.
on 11/22/2016 11:40:54 PM with a score of 0
on 11/22/2016 10:43:55 AM with a score of 0
very engaging. I have done one path so far (not including the paths where you die early) and the writing is good. Some parts just gloss over how horrible the various event's are which I find disturbing but then again it make sense from the character's perspective.
on 11/22/2016 8:20:47 AM with a score of 0
on 11/21/2016 10:56:23 PM with a score of 0
Too amazing... I took it easy, reading, going back, taking other paths and reading again. I have no words to describe this multi-story. Thank you is all I can say, thank you a lot.
on 11/17/2016 10:59:41 AM with a score of 0
Extremely well written and keep me engaged the whole time. It is a must read!
on 11/16/2016 1:40:42 PM with a score of 0
-- Oscar on 11/15/2016 10:27:19 PM with a score of 0
on 11/15/2016 3:42:29 PM with a score of 0
Epilogue 11 eternal paragon. Is this the best ending?
on 11/14/2016 2:59:18 PM with a score of 0
on 11/10/2016 9:21:22 PM with a score of 0
Epilogue 13: Eternal Harbinger
Become one with Death! >=)
on 11/9/2016 10:55:01 PM with a score of 0
I got the eternal destroyer ending
-- Joe on 11/8/2016 2:38:27 PM with a score of 0
Got 2 out of 13 epilogues
Epilogue 10: Eternal Hero
Epilogue 9: Eternal Destroyer
on 11/8/2016 1:01:11 AM with a score of 0
Fun and long good game!
on 11/8/2016 12:52:09 AM with a score of 0
Oh my.... so so good! I feel bad I neglected my husband for hours on end, several days as I read thru many different endings. I want more!
-- Jaclyn on 11/4/2016 10:35:54 PM with a score of 0
Alright, second ending down! I have completed the following endings and will keep track of every victory:
on 11/4/2016 1:54:05 PM with a score of 0
Very good, I liked the plot and characters in the story. I had a good grasp of setting and time within. With a story of this size, you are going to have errors, and you did your best minimizing them even though some were overlooked.
on 11/3/2016 1:48:39 PM with a score of 0
Actually it has 13 special endings.
on 11/2/2016 2:59:07 PM with a score of 0
Great story, but I have a huge warning: It took me three times as long to complete ONE EPILOGUE of this story than me completing a pretty long story that had FIVE ENDINGS! So be warned, if you wanna play this, then make sure you have a lot of time on your hands.
on 11/2/2016 1:53:53 PM with a score of 0
This is the second life (as i would like to call a cyoa i play) i played and i just wanna thank the author of this story for the great time i had playing this. I'll be honest, this kind of genre aren't my cup of tea but i enjoyed this one quite well. I chose the ending where i was reunited with alison for a change, it even made me tear up a little bit. I also tried the other endings, while theyre not bad, theyre too predictable, really. Im the most fond with warrick and thats why im quite disappointed with the way he died. Couldve been more brutal and dramatic. Anyways its a great read, I just have to suffer because Im using Mobule Data to read this as Wifi isnt an option bc there's none here in my place.
-- Eiden Stillwater on 10/30/2016 1:14:20 PM with a score of 0
Forced to choose Decena, Forced to push Semra away, none of your choices really matter in short. I can understand that this is the authors own choice but why give a "choice" when it doesn't matter (expect at the very end). The story was "good" I can't deny that but lack of real choice makes it seem like this was the authors story and not a story that I could shape with my choices.
-- Eh on 10/30/2016 12:55:30 PM with a score of 0
Just exelent, hope ever see it in store. )
on 10/27/2016 9:29:02 AM with a score of 0
Wow what a read it took me several sittings simply to reach the one epilogue... I can't imagine the amount of effort that has gone into this.
on 10/25/2016 6:17:08 AM with a score of 0
This stuff should be turned into a damn movie. Soo much potential
on 10/21/2016 11:58:04 AM with a score of 0
What!!! I got killed!! But it was awsome!!!
on 10/19/2016 6:56:54 AM with a score of 0
Pretty damn good.
-- ClearlyNotSane on 10/16/2016 7:26:09 PM with a score of 0
Although I thought the choices limited, I very much enjoyed the world building and plot. Decisions are logical, but the logic requires experience to decern. Just as it does in reality.
on 10/9/2016 8:41:27 PM with a score of 0
Honestly it would be far better without the random sex
-- John on 10/9/2016 8:25:50 PM with a score of 0
A really long and very in depth story. It has everything you can want in a story. Violence, romance, and decisions. It took a long time to get through, but it was well worth it. This could definitely be a full novel, and you got to give the author props for putting this out there for free. Great Work
on 10/5/2016 1:58:08 AM with a score of 0
This is certainly a good story on its own, but the inability to "choose your own adventure" is quite saddening. There are always only two options (apart from the side stories), and each time there is "true" or "false," and nothing more. It would've been way more fun for it to have been just a story, not something like this. It's very disappointing.
on 10/3/2016 9:41:10 PM with a score of 0
This story is just simply great.
-- Hugh Mungus on 9/28/2016 6:48:07 PM with a score of 0
Holy hell this is amazing. It took me forever but I i finally got to (well one of) the eploges the story was amazing and i found my self playing it when ever I was bored with out giving anything away I have to say I am now and forever ETERNAL
on 9/22/2016 4:42:00 PM with a score of 0
It's a great story, but not a great game.
100 ways to die Endmaster edition.
You get barely any REAL choice, so your options are go down a few specific paths or die(many times).
What if I don't wanna do something, but fuck me right?
on 9/17/2016 8:40:47 PM with a score of 0
Omg, one of the best stories i have ever read and to think that you even have control over it, just amazing. Thank you so much for this masterpiece!
-- Dan on 9/14/2016 7:56:14 PM with a score of 0
Omigosh i got the BEST ending!!! Awesomely well written and i loved the long text rarley ever got to see a story as good as like this one!!! I loved it, thank you so kuch to the creator for creating something so wonderful and fun!!! I spammed kt to find almost all of the endings-and they were all so cool! I gave it an 8/8!!!!
on 9/6/2016 5:27:53 PM with a score of 0
The story was awesome. I was amazed at the detail and the meticulous work done to make it as it showed itself when I was reading it. It was very interesting and entertaining and is one of the best stories I've read yet.
-- Iron Boy on 9/5/2016 7:38:55 AM with a score of 0
It was very well written but yet the plot is atrocious. I don't like the way that when he is doing the right thing, he gets punished. I will be choosing way more different stories. Thank you.
-- Anonymous on 8/22/2016 10:23:55 AM with a score of 0
Wow, Dendrin's the man. (o wo)-b I totally suggest becoming his bro.
on 8/21/2016 9:04:22 AM with a score of 0
wow i wasn't expecting to hit epilogue 13 and i was sure i was gunning for no epilogue at all lol but endmaster really put so much thought into this. eternal is a gem that touches on many topics that would be considered taboo but i would definitely play again to experience the other paths i have yet to discover 10/10
on 8/20/2016 7:53:15 PM with a score of 0
Holy crap that was fun...
on 8/18/2016 11:21:18 PM with a score of 0
Every single choice in this game seems to have two options: one that will kill you and one that will advance the story. Even when iether option kills you immediately, one of them will put you down a path where the next two options both kill you. The game is boring. That's that. Maybe I'm missing something and all the people praising it are right, but for now I'll stick with the Coice Of games
on 8/17/2016 2:55:19 AM with a score of 0
Alright, playthrough number 2 (3?) done. I'll be sure to come back in a few years when I've forgotten and enjoy it again. As always, one of my favorites.
on 8/12/2016 10:43:18 AM with a score of 0
WOW! Took quite a while to get to the end, but it was really good. You would have thought this meant no spelling or grammatical issues, but no, there were unfortunately plenty. Being a grammar Nazi myself, it was quite tedious. Also, Dawn and Brenda are terrible names, I'm sorry. But everything else was amazing!!
on 8/12/2016 7:18:28 AM with a score of 0
An absolutely phenomenal collection of different tales all tied together in one masterpiece. Although it took a while, it was wonderful reading complex with numerous alternate realities amid dynamic characters, rich plot, and great writing. Definitely one of the treasures of ChooseYourStory.
on 8/10/2016 5:15:56 PM with a score of 0
This story is great. 10/10 will read/play during work again.
on 8/10/2016 3:24:33 PM with a score of 0
it is awesome. I love the way all your stories are connected in some way.
on 8/6/2016 7:46:30 AM with a score of 0
on 8/6/2016 2:56:17 AM with a score of 0
This game...no this work or art is amazing. Not many of the stories on this site makes me want to go through it enough times to get every single ending, but this is one of those rare stories. I would recommend this to anyone and everyone.
-- James on 8/1/2016 6:07:59 AM with a score of 0
Great story, one of the best on this website.
Loved the fact that there were three main paths you could take with several different sections in each path.
Probably my favorite story on this website.
on 7/30/2016 9:02:24 PM with a score of 0
This story... Damn. I went through it, the whole way, just about every decision you could make, I made. Sometimes I didn't agree with the way the Eternal reacted to my choices, but in the epilogue, he seemed... well, human. He made some mistakes, screwed up, a lot, put his trust in the wrong people, but in the end he did something good, and he made the world a better place for it's people.
-- ShadowOfIntent on 7/27/2016 5:27:53 AM with a score of 0
I loved it, I thought it was very well thought through. With the emotions, personalities and so forth, it's a good read all around.
-- Kimo on 7/26/2016 2:42:59 AM with a score of 0
-- Max on 7/25/2016 9:27:39 PM with a score of 0
WOW! The Eternal (Harbinger ending) is the longest/best CYOA Story I've ever read. So well written. Now to go back and find the other endings. Two down! 11 to go!
on 7/15/2016 2:05:37 PM with a score of 0
Well, this was one hell of a ride. I guess I managed to reach a good ending, considering that I lived long enough to die of old age instead of being horribly murdered as usual (I also became a god or something and saw the Shadows throw the damn world into chaos, but whatever). I would play the story again to explore all other options and maybe find another ending, but honestly, I'm fucking drained. How long have I been playing this? An hour? Two? These addictive long ass stories will be the death of me, I swear. Anyway, much like Creatures Such as We (another kick-ass interactive story), this was an expirience I'll deffinitelly remember. Curse you, EndMaster, you magnificent bastard.
-- Taryk on 7/14/2016 1:15:57 PM with a score of 0
Great game, it was damn near perfect. The only issue I had was that sometimes the decisions seemed more based on luck than actually considering what would make sense. But other than that it was pretty good.
on 7/13/2016 10:12:08 PM with a score of 0
Yes! I got the Eternal Terror ending! great story! can't wait to reread and go for the other endings.
on 7/12/2016 10:18:10 AM with a score of 0
Joining the Felkan army is the best ending in my opinion
-- Bob on 7/7/2016 7:26:45 PM with a score of 0
4 hours of my life that I dream of experiencing all over for the first time
That was awesome, for real I'm speechless
-- nico on 7/6/2016 6:49:42 PM with a score of 0
Who else do hunted down all shadows
-- Bob on 6/27/2016 1:56:02 AM with a score of 0
That was a very good game
-- Bob on 6/27/2016 1:50:21 AM with a score of 0
on 6/24/2016 4:35:57 PM with a score of 0
A very fun and interested world to explore
on 6/24/2016 12:01:32 PM with a score of 0
Has some sexual content innit. Adults only.
-- > on 6/21/2016 10:15:05 PM with a score of 0
Awesome! I got Epilogue 7: Eternal Messiah!
on 6/17/2016 10:50:12 AM with a score of 0
THIS WAS SO GOOD.
-- me on 6/15/2016 3:36:47 PM with a score of 0
A very good game. Kept me immersed for hours, and had to lie down after finishing. 8/8. Read it already! Warning: Takes a long time.
on 6/6/2016 12:28:23 AM with a score of 0
I loved every second of Eternal! I fully plan on playing through it at least 1 or 2 more times. I got epilogue 10 this time. Absolutely fantastic story!
-- James on 6/5/2016 2:11:45 PM with a score of 0
i lost really easily
on 6/3/2016 12:47:21 PM with a score of 0
It took me a few days to go through a single playthrough. It's more than worth it and I found it to be one of the best stories I have ever experienced.
-- Mike Carter on 6/1/2016 11:41:24 PM with a score of 0
Need more happy happy fun times for my dong-ding!!!!! You aren't very good at this are you? NO NO NO, even a goldfish writes better tban you do.
-- I_WANNA_WAAAAH on 6/1/2016 6:19:00 PM with a score of 0
I got Eternal Hero as my first ending and I am still crying that the story ended.On the good side I have a lot more ending to see through.I want to congratulate the writer for this magnificent piece of art and let him know that I am crying a lot now and to say that he did a splendid job at making you part of the story like it should have.
on 5/26/2016 6:16:34 AM with a score of 0
Words cannot describe the feeling of reading this story. Thank you, EndMaster.
on 5/20/2016 8:56:59 PM with a score of 0
This was an amazing story. The best I have read on this site so far!
on 5/19/2016 12:13:27 PM with a score of 0
on 5/18/2016 12:17:35 AM with a score of 0
This must be the true ending. It was my favorite.
-- Tristan on 5/6/2016 8:41:22 PM with a score of 0
First of all... SO GOOD. I do feel it need a bit more proofreading but this is by far the best story on the site. I just hope that you continue making awesome stories and maybe even a sequel, eh *nudge* nudge* *wink* *wink*.
on 5/6/2016 1:58:34 PM with a score of 0
i like it
on 5/6/2016 1:27:11 PM with a score of 0
Great! Ending! That's 4, 5, 7, and 8 for me! I must have missed six somewhere... That sucks!
-- Tristan on 5/3/2016 2:28:58 AM with a score of 0
It took me a week but it was worth it
on 5/2/2016 4:41:14 PM with a score of 0
Hey! This time I got epilogue 7, very interesting. There's so much story! I can't believe it!
-- Tristan on 4/27/2016 7:03:08 PM with a score of 0
Wow. Just wow.
on 4/27/2016 12:52:30 PM with a score of 0
holy fuck that was a long story...
... and its damn worth the read!
best thing i've read in years
ending i got: eternal hero
on 4/27/2016 9:10:21 AM with a score of 0
Wow. I got Epilogue 8, and that was truly an amazing story. I feel like I should have paid for that. I am reading Cormac McCarthy in class right now, and I was surprised to see this resonate with those books. Wow.
-- Tristan on 4/27/2016 1:54:05 AM with a score of 0
Great story(ies?), loved every difficult decision I had to make, regardless of the outcome. Hope to see more of these later on.
on 4/26/2016 6:03:53 PM with a score of 0
Very good story, I just had to adapt to the fact that only a couple of choices do matter. But, boy, how much do they! Amazing story you've crafted here, I really liked it. Cheers!
on 4/23/2016 12:40:34 PM with a score of 0
This story was eternal, but I thoroughly enjoyed every moment of it. The world-building was fantastically intricate, on par with any fantasy novel. The pacing was excellent and the characters were memorable. Definitely worth replaying again and again.
on 4/17/2016 2:29:01 PM with a score of 0
Fun wish I made better choices
-- Y on 4/16/2016 8:26:44 AM with a score of 0
I found this website completely on a whim, and pulled up the first story I found. I was completely unprepared the the overwhelming emotions I felt over the last few days. As I sit here, I don't even know the words strong enough to describe what I just read. I was expecting to find something like the cheap books I read when i was a child, cheap endings and only half a plot... but this was so so so much more. The story telling was so incredibly powerful that I actually lost days of sleep wanting to know what was coming next. The ending that I reached was so beautiful that it literally left me in tears. I have never read any book in my life that made me feel anything like this story did, truely it should be considered to be on a much greater level. I thank the author so much for sharing their work with the world, and after I explore the other options in this story, I will absolutely be reading more of their works.
on 4/12/2016 9:06:19 PM with a score of 0
Every good job!
on 4/8/2016 3:04:22 AM with a score of 0
Lots of deaths will happen to you and it at times will feel like your choices are forced or you die. I even a quarter way through the game thought '"fuck this it feels like if I don't go down a certain path I'm gonna die" and felt it was waaay to linear. But something about it just forced me to continue where I left off, I just kinda missed the world this story took me to and its charecter and was just so intruiged as to how this story would continue and do not regret it at all. I was really immersed in this and felt for my charecter as I went through his lifetime. And the way the author tells the story feels really professional. I am honestly surprised I had the privilege of playing this for free. And if you think I'm over exaggerating play this and you will see what I mean. You simply must play this game not doing so is missing out on a really great story.
-- Servius on 4/6/2016 8:54:06 PM with a score of 0
I love it!
on 4/3/2016 3:24:03 AM with a score of 0
The best storyline in the world of CYS. wish their was a way you and Alison could have lived and ruled the kingdom together though.
on 4/3/2016 1:51:39 AM with a score of 0
Wow... first one I've read. Do you have any more? I loved your work!
on 4/1/2016 5:41:10 PM with a score of 0
Eternal I enjoyed this game and often found myself playing it long past when I should have been asleep, now that I have finished it I can only hope to find others equal to it's length and quality.
on 3/31/2016 3:02:17 AM with a score of 0
Wow. I mean just wow.Kudos to Endmaster for this. I played for over 12 hours and have reached only two of the Epilogues.
on 3/30/2016 12:27:45 PM with a score of 0
It took a long time, but I finally got all thirteen. I must say the most epic is Eternal Harbinger
on 3/25/2016 4:57:20 PM with a score of 0
the best game ever, always will hold a special place in my heart
on 3/22/2016 10:54:12 PM with a score of 0
It was too much history and reading for me :P if you like those thing you will love it :)
-- Abbie on 3/18/2016 5:24:02 PM with a score of 0
Now I just have to find the rest of the endings
on 3/17/2016 12:26:30 PM with a score of 0
First of all I would like to praise the author for this exceptional story easily one of the best I have ever read this is one of the very few you can truly get lost in while it is very long I can promise you you will not regret reading it while the story is absolutely perfect the way it is I would have liked to had more decisions over the management of the empire but regardless of that
I love the story and I urge anyone that can to read this story
-- Eddie on 3/16/2016 12:08:40 AM with a score of 0
It misses being truly enlightening because it suffers from having, as many CYOA do, text options that do not truly convey the actions of your character. In a CYOA book with twists and complexity this disconnect between what is chosen and its consequences is inevitable, as being perfectly predictable is often boring, but to receive an 8/8 is perfection, and this story is just very, very good.
-- JEDLC on 3/14/2016 10:55:35 PM with a score of 0
i died quickly but i was content. well, not really. Kane died anyway but my men were free
-- emily on 3/12/2016 12:31:23 PM with a score of 0
on 3/12/2016 12:09:55 AM with a score of 0
I just spent my entire morning on that and my mom will probably kill me for not studying...
No regrets xD
-- kikunkuki on 3/11/2016 9:56:49 AM with a score of 0
I liked it. Alot.
on 3/10/2016 2:41:52 PM with a score of 0
best game ever, largest story ever
on 3/8/2016 11:00:51 PM with a score of 0
This story is damn long... But it sure is entertaining !
on 3/6/2016 2:25:03 AM with a score of 0
This story is fucking awesome.
-- Robert on 3/3/2016 4:56:00 PM with a score of 0
I got the best ending and I loved it just loved it
on 3/2/2016 3:49:25 PM with a score of 0
Is there a path where you team up with Mistress (and she doesn't betray you)? I think I've seen every path now, but I never saw that.
-- jason1stlegion on 3/1/2016 10:39:29 PM with a score of 0
you should REALLY write a book
on 2/27/2016 6:32:01 AM with a score of 0
very good and very long. Just the way I like it.
on 2/23/2016 2:04:26 PM with a score of 0
I made wrong choices and was out of the story really quickly but I enjoyed it immensely and am looking forward to starting again and taking different options to see more of the journey
-- EmilyTheSTrange on 2/22/2016 7:55:01 AM with a score of 0
I am the ETERNAL Hero.For once & for forever.
on 2/20/2016 1:27:34 AM with a score of 0
“I want near instant gratification and those didn't provide.”
Well Mr. Arse, I apologize that this CYOA story couldn't emulate your mom.
on 2/19/2016 9:39:44 AM with a score of 0
Too long..... Needs 3 paragraphs average instead of 300000000 as currently stands. I want near instant gratification and those didn't provide.
-- Arse on 2/17/2016 12:12:29 PM with a score of 0
Clever, I really like how you brought back around the whole eternal thing, well at least in the ending I got
-- Rachel on 2/14/2016 7:54:26 AM with a score of 0
This is my favorite choose your adventure story. Written by a true master. I love the different story paths and the style of it. I also like how every choice has it's good parts and it's bad parts. I've read this multiple times (still have to find the rest of the epilogues though) and I enjoy it every time. If anyone needs an example of greatness, look no further than EndMaster.
on 2/13/2016 11:05:39 PM with a score of 0
Wow. This is one of the best stories I've read in a long time.
The longevity of it was superb (I have the feeling that my curiosity was completely sated by the end of the book) I just finished reading and I have to say, from beginning to end this story completely hooked me and I had a hard time putting it down. Eternal really is a roller coaster and there are a lot of different paths to choose from.
Overall I rated this story an 8. I cant recommend it enough. Ive read some others from EndMaster and I love his style and delivery - this story really shines as one of my favorite stories on this site and in general. The descriptions and detail painted a vivid image from start to finish.
Thank you EndMaster for one of my favorite reads in a long time.
on 2/11/2016 10:48:19 PM with a score of 0
meh I just thought the words where to small when I write I mean i'm still writing my story, but the thing is i am a girl when i played this and the path i wen't down um was um... anyways great story!
on 2/10/2016 10:08:29 AM with a score of 0
Eternal hero first try babyyy. Amazing mastapieceee.
on 2/9/2016 12:57:07 PM with a score of 0
Got a bit too long and had linear paths. Still had a great story but felt more like the story was telling you.
-- Ki on 2/1/2016 10:33:31 PM with a score of 0
on 2/1/2016 12:37:52 AM with a score of 0
Male currently in high school a guy did this to me three times, but the first time, in high school a guy did this to me three times, but the first time, I had was pretty much my favorite thing to eat besides a fillet from Morton's. I had sex was pretty much my favorite thing to eat besides a fillet from Morton's.
-- Onion on 1/31/2016 1:30:07 AM with a score of 0
This story was fucking glorious!
on 1/25/2016 1:43:12 AM with a score of 0
very interesting choice selection
-- Bfa on 1/23/2016 5:05:49 PM with a score of 0
on 1/22/2016 10:57:26 PM with a score of 0
on 1/21/2016 2:53:52 AM with a score of 0
That was one of the most amazing things i have ever had the pleasure to witness and take part in. A work of art and of story telling. Utterly amazing.
-- Sean on 1/20/2016 9:57:33 PM with a score of 0
Really good I got killed by Jessica
on 1/20/2016 9:39:42 PM with a score of 0
I really liked this story.
on 1/20/2016 2:38:14 PM with a score of 0
I really liked this story.
on 1/20/2016 9:17:29 AM with a score of 0
Absolutely captivating, coming from someone with a dislike for fantasy...
on 1/20/2016 6:55:04 AM with a score of 0
The setting and story are very interesting and well-written, though it doesn't seem there is much choice to be had in this 'Choose Your Own Story' (at least in the beginning).
Somehow, choosing to 'struggle' as a 5-year-old led the character to fuck a dark elf mage before I knew what was happening. The game ended on the next screen when I decided to stab her with my second 'choice'. I don't particularly want to play/read a story where there is only a 'right' choice and a 'wrong' choice. Thanks anyway.
-- A on 1/19/2016 11:42:46 PM with a score of 0
This was perfect. I loved every minute I spent reading this amazing story and I really enjoyed the ending I got. I'll probably play again making some different choiches just to see what would have happened. Thank you.
on 1/19/2016 9:15:39 AM with a score of 0
I loved the story at first, but after a while it just seemed pointless to conitnue. I'm not sure if it's just the path I took, but at the end it seemed like I couldn't get a good ending. I also felt like I didn't really have a major choice in how to continue with the story. There seemed to be one good and one bad option, and I had to choose one to continue. I'm sure others had better experiences, and I know I can't really judge because I can't right as spectacularly as endmaster, but my experience was kind of boring near the end. Regardless, the writing was fantastic and I loved the basic story. Just wish I had taken a different direction.
-- Reelru on 1/17/2016 9:13:43 PM with a score of 0
Man, this was great. Long, but great. And boy does the author pull you through some serious dark choices.
on 1/17/2016 3:17:19 PM with a score of 0
The best cyoa I have ever read. Minor grammatical and spelling errors. I literally got chills reading my epilogue and will definitely go for another play through. This story is brutal, beautiful, eloquent and introspective almost to an extreme. I would highly recommend this to anyone. It is a difficult story though and if someone were able to make it to an epilogue without dying at least once I would not be able to believe it. This is a very long story and took me quite a long time to complete.
I wl also add that I would love for this to become a book or movie, it's just so well done that it kind of saddens me to think of this staying only on this website and not having as many viewers as it truly deserves. I would like for an editor to go through and fix the minor mistakes but other than that I would highly endorse this story and probably every version of it (I finished with epilogue ten, eternal hero). Please read this story. I also would like to thank the author for going on this journey with me.
on 1/16/2016 10:51:29 PM with a score of 0
This story is one of the best story's I have ever read, and that's saying something since I read A LOT OF BOOKS. Who knew that the best one was on the Internet. Anyway, I've got no criticism and I would like to thank the author for giving me an amazing story to take with me. I one day wish this story becomes a proper book and is spread to the masses. Thank you!
-- Nicholas on 1/10/2016 4:34:30 AM with a score of 0
I liked it a lot.
-- Mardox on 1/9/2016 11:16:09 PM with a score of 0
This was my first read on this site, and it may have set the bar to an unreachable level for most other stories I will read. Thank you
on 1/9/2016 8:13:49 PM with a score of 0
-- Phil on 1/9/2016 11:47:24 AM with a score of 0
Managed to reach the epilogue. Really great read :)
-- Anderson on 1/9/2016 11:19:10 AM with a score of 0
I spent three days carefully plotting and strategizing over this , and deem it worthy of goty
on 1/7/2016 12:13:25 AM with a score of 0
cool cool cool
on 1/2/2016 1:29:44 PM with a score of 0
One of the best stories I have read in a long, time stayed up all night going through it before I reached the epilogue and it was well worth it
Epilogue: eternal paragon
8-it will bring you enlightenment
-- MCbookworm on 12/31/2015 3:50:34 AM with a score of 0
Dang. That was kinda sad. Shot down by lizard freaks..
-- Miplets on 12/28/2015 9:58:07 PM with a score of 0
I can not describe in words the greatness of this story. It us utterly massive in length and just one path could take a great number of hours. The way you see your character change as he grows up is amazing and he could feel the emotions he goes through. The characters are very well written and while I do wish some characters were expanded upon the author for the most part nailed it I have gone done the shadowguard route while being a loyal citizen to the end. I have gone down the one where you are 'adopted' by the emperor (much better and far longer story path) and both were wonderfully written and many of the twists and turns honestly surprised me (though I kinda saw what the emperor's true goal was from a mile away) and hopefully it will surprise you too. All in all I give this an 8/8 ands call it one of the best story's I have ever read and certainly the best choose your own adventure story. I hope you guys and gals love this story as much as I have and I will continue to read and explore the other massive story branches (I wonder what happens if you beg for your life) and I hope they will provide me with as much satisfaction as the other story branches. Story is 8/8.
-- A true emperor on 12/19/2015 8:00:12 PM with a score of 0
So far I have really enjoyed it. I've only made it as far as the beginning of the Felkan war, dying several times. My only complaints so far is that there are no save points as of yet, which could get tedious if trying to find the end to this supposedly long game. The other is that so far it seems that I'm being forced down one path, as every other choice ends in death. I hope this doesn't continue and that this is just a long intro. Other than that, the writing and imagination is excellent!
-- Stewart on 12/18/2015 3:16:18 PM with a score of 0
Epic in scope and riveting all the way through.
on 12/9/2015 5:38:12 PM with a score of 0
This was another amazing ending (Eternal Survivor) and I loved it much better than the other die ending (assuming only these two exist) I think I have 9 down so 4 more to go. Please continue the great work and have a pleasant whatever it is when and if you read this. ??
-- I dunno yet on 12/8/2015 4:01:51 PM with a score of 0
Ah...Best game ever, I've gotten around 6 endings. And its always fun figuring out how get the others
-- Riversage on 12/3/2015 10:58:51 AM with a score of 0
I took me a year (because i had school and exedra to deal with) but I've got to say this is the best book I've read in a long time
on 11/26/2015 11:47:23 AM with a score of 0
Simply amazing!!!. I feel that is all is needed to be said
on 11/25/2015 7:55:45 PM with a score of 0
Really good story, I'd really like to know if there are any paths where you and the mistress actually get into a relationship?
-- HaydenZeMan on 11/23/2015 9:37:01 PM with a score of 0
As a new member, I have been reading stories here daily for a while now and they differ so greatly from one another. There are some truly great works here, and some pure fluff. Some purely entertain, some delight, and some anger you in their despair. There are some that touch and awaken you. Some choices make you really look into yourself and who you are as a being. That being said, this was a true work of art and thank you for allowing me the pleasure of reading it.
on 11/18/2015 7:44:29 PM with a score of 0
Omg I had so many struggles but the *SPOILER* die ending and beg ending were possibly the best ever. I loved this<3
-- Arbin on 11/13/2015 8:23:47 PM with a score of 0
how'd i die?
on 11/13/2015 7:14:35 PM with a score of 0
Loved it, I felt so emotionaly attached to the main character I cried
-- Carlos on 11/12/2015 2:17:58 AM with a score of 0
Finally had enough time to read another great ending! It's wonderfully ironic how the Eternal Bane ending is more positive than the Eternal Savior ending :)
on 11/11/2015 3:45:33 PM with a score of 0
really well thought out. Kudos to the writer and thank you for a excellent experience
on 11/5/2015 10:33:51 AM with a score of 0
took me many days to read
on 11/3/2015 8:31:39 AM with a score of 0
This is by far the best game I've played on this site. This was an amazing game that was very interesting. It's VERY long, but that just adds to the time you get to stay in this little "world". Overall a great game.
-- Person on 11/2/2015 3:58:26 PM with a score of 0
Stumbled on this from reddit and read it early into the morning. Really glad I did. You were my main source of entertainment today. Thanks
-- Jacob on 10/30/2015 2:33:51 AM with a score of 0
Best experience i have had in any choose your own adventure game so far
-- Sebastian on 10/28/2015 2:14:25 PM with a score of 0
Hehe, second game finished!
on 10/28/2015 7:51:45 AM with a score of 0
It was awesome! I loved the sheer scale of the narrative, however I did find it very difficult at times, you'll be using the 'Go Back' button a lot!
on 10/28/2015 3:27:53 AM with a score of 0
Best game ever made!!!!!
on 10/27/2015 11:45:40 AM with a score of 0
There were a lot of punctuation errors that took away from the experience. There weren't enough descriptors to leave me feeling fully immersed. The scene with "Mistress" before being given the dagger was extraneous.. seemed to only be there for kinky 16-year-old boys to make the bald man cry. Overall, the writing just felt very amateur.
-- IPleadTheFifth on 10/23/2015 1:33:01 PM with a score of 0
on 10/23/2015 3:00:02 AM with a score of 0
I love this this gave me a lot of free time to read make more please
-- Alexus on 10/22/2015 12:22:41 PM with a score of 0
-- DudeBroManGuy on 10/15/2015 4:22:05 PM with a score of 0
The story is amazing and well thought out. I must say that, like all of Endmaster's works, Eternal lacks an edited finesse. There are numerous typos and awkward phrases. Endmaster also seems to lack both variation in word choice as well as figurative language. These are serious flaws that should be reviewed if he ever wishes to publish his works.
on 10/13/2015 9:45:04 PM with a score of 0
Dying alone and unloved: The game
But even so, I spent many days enjoying this game while looking for good endings, I do recommend it. Just don't expect anything to ever end well for you, makes it all the better when it does.
on 10/7/2015 11:26:09 PM with a score of 0
*Keanu Reeves voice* Whoa...
Really though, this is my first time on this site, and I'm absolutely amazed with the quality of this story game. This isn't what I expected at all coming in, and I suppose that's a good thing. Well done EndMaster.
I received the "Eternal Paragon" ending, and some posts on the forums would lead me to believe that is one of the best endings, but rest assured, I will be hunting down the rest of them. It's a beautiful thing to "finish" a story and know that it's not all over, and in the case of this story, the fun has only just begun.
Long live the Empire!
on 10/6/2015 6:22:18 PM with a score of 0
Awe inspiring. I can't put into words how good it was. But, I would love to see one outcome where I can get mistress on my side permanently.
on 10/4/2015 7:48:28 PM with a score of 0
Got to the 5th epilogue. I like the way simple decisions lead to different endings.
-- Eternal one on 9/30/2015 7:26:41 AM with a score of 0
The best ending I think, being The First, The Paragon. One of the LONGEST, most INTERESTING stories I read in a LONG time.
-- Chris on 9/30/2015 12:45:29 AM with a score of 0
What an amazing story, it is pretty damn long but beautiful. A must read for anyone!
-- ZBear on 9/28/2015 9:15:36 PM with a score of 0
Truly an amazing story it should be published
-- Aldren on 9/27/2015 5:11:17 PM with a score of 0
This had me playing for two days. I loved every minute.
-- Ono on 9/26/2015 12:59:36 PM with a score of 0
Wow!! Can't remember the last time something captured me like that.Took me three whole days to read through it. By far Allison kroztor is my favorite character as she retains a unique mixture of beauty and sense of duty till the end.I fully encourage all to read this and feel truly "enlightened" ;) trust me itz worthwhile. =D.
on 9/26/2015 12:58:43 PM with a score of 0
It has been a couple years since I last played through this story. I remembered it being one of the best reads I had in a while. And the experience was even better this time arround. I followed a different storyline and got the Eternal Emperor epilogue. Superbely written story. Up there with the best, got me hooked from the beginning(again) The characters have real dimension and some bits even stir you up inside. As I see it, and without giving anything away, the ultimate theme of the story (like in Necromancer and its "spinoff") is one of the human condition in its various forms and complexities, no matter what branch you choose. And there are many to choose from. And this is what makes it such a beautiful tale.
Story gaming at its best. 8/8
-- LemonCurry on 9/23/2015 11:41:28 AM with a score of 0
One of the best goddamn stories I have ever read on this site.
The scope of this tale, the characterization, the world building, it is absolutely FANTASTIC.
The author has clearly put in a great deal of work into this piece and it shows in the quality of the writing and grammar.
Just read it already.
-- the-iron-pen on 9/23/2015 3:54:40 AM with a score of 0
First playthrough. Eternal Hero, a great ending for the story of a great but flawed man.
on 9/18/2015 5:40:17 PM with a score of 0
loved it but i wish there was more choices for u to choose. other than that it was perfect.
-- DEANO on 9/16/2015 10:33:02 AM with a score of 0
It was simply amazing
on 9/13/2015 4:26:10 PM with a score of 0
This story was immense and engulfing; it has earned its excellent reputation. I will do my best to avoid spoilers in my comments, but I have a good deal of praise as well as criticism.
I will start with praise:
The experience of this story, as the bold title suggests, is tremendous, and I mean that in the grandest sense. This is no modest undertaking, and at every step in the story the reader feels the magnitude of the experience. This sense of enormity is a powerful tool, well utilized by the author, and it swells the reader’s ego as they proceed. The detail is extensive and some of the characters are exceptionally well developed, taking on a life of their own upon the page. Not all the uses literary devices such foreshadowing and symbolism landed, but those that did were brutally effective. The author creates a vividly-imagined fantasy world which captures the reader’s fancy; as an aspiring writer myself, I absolutely understand that the seemingly simple task of naming all the nations, races, and characters must have been exhausting. Eternal was, in a word, impressive.
Now Criticism (I make these notes out of the most earnest wishes to help an exceptionally creative and talented author further improve):
The simplest issue I had with the story was grammar and punctuation. Occasionally I would encounter as many as four or five errors per page, which could have been avoided with more extensive and deliberate proof-reading. Many sentences as well, though correct, were awkward and difficult to follow. A good guide is to read one’s sentences aloud to see if they roll off the tongue; if a sentence is awkward to say, it will be awkward to read.
I was turned off by many of the choices in the story. I felt as though (with the exception of a few very major decisions) my choices were having very little impact on the progression of the story. Rather than a series of significant choices, it was more like a relentless trudge through a pre-arranged plot with dozens of opportunities to make a wrong choice and die. Alright, cynics, I know you will say that is exactly what real life is, but I was disinterested in the story choices knowing that, rather than impacting the plot, I was merely flipping a coin to see if I was going to bite the dust (which I did, a lot). Incidentally, I refer to them as coin tosses because there was often very little indication as to which choice was more likely to result in survival. Often, if I died it was because of circumstances which seemed completely unrelated to the content of the choice I made.
With the exception of a number of scenes which were absolute gems, I found the dialogue in the story to be lacking. In other reviews I have mentioned the sin of allowing your characters to say exactly what they mean. Their intent can be expressed in other ways. Much of the dialogue in the story could have been reduced (and thereby made far more poignant and concise) or refocused. I also found the vernacular a little… inconsistent. If you are going to have characters speak grandly and imperially, do so, and avoid modern colloquialisms. Alternately, if you are going to use “yeah” and “shady” etc. do so consistently. It was as if characters were lapsing from modern informal speech to older, more formal speech sporadically. Again, consistency is key. Although it can be difficult in this format, I would also recommend you avoid exposition dumps. Instead of burdening the reader with a paragraph describing the fictional history (or worse, having your characters do it in a speech) try to tell the story through the details. You can cut down exposition like you cut down dialogue, and convey the same meaning with fewer words.
The storyline, in general, was absolutely captivating. My greatest critique was that, after the major, thrilling, nail-biting climax about 3/5 of the way through the story, I was quite sure it was over. It was not; it should have been. After this seriously exhilarating point, I found it very difficult to reengage. I found myself slogging my way through the considerable portion of the story remaining. I do not mean to diminish the quality of the later content, which could have easily been turned into a whole separate book. The later portion was just as fantastic and creative as the first portion, but all the drama and suspense were spent and I simply wanted to know how things would turn out.
The character development in the story was excellent, but there were simply too many. I was fascinated and engaged by the handful of primary characters, but as the story progressed and more and more characters were introduced, I began to feel less and less for them. If the reader feels no connection to a character, there will be no excitement or suspense when it comes to their actions. It is insufficient to introduce a character, then by the next page expect to have the reader give a damn about them. With characters quality is far more important than quantity; a reduced number of characters will add to the feelings of suspense, anger, and sadness which the reader feels as the go. Isn’t evoking emotion in the reader the aim, after all?
Although there were some pages tarnished by weak dialogue or excessive exposition, some scenes stand out as real writing accomplishments. One, very modest scene, in a distant outpost with a doomed man stuck with me. This was one of the less significant scenes of the story, but it was so well conveyed that I truly felt like I was there. Close, cold, and quiet as a prayer, with impending violence just beneath the surface, this scene stood out in my mind as one of the finest of the story. If I were to give advice, it would be to further develop the relationship with that supporting character (by reducing the volume of other characters) throughout the story so that the emotion felt there is even more profound.
I could not get enough of this enormous tale. It had its flaws, but its numerous and impressive merits were enough to rank it among my favorites. Though the author has some improving to do on their execution, their imagination is truly remarkable. It was vivid, fascinating, captivating, troubling, touching, and, most of all, it was grand.
Cheers, EndMaster, you’ve written an Epic.
on 9/5/2015 6:32:07 PM with a score of 0
This story is not at all suitable for any God fearing folk. Endless violence, incestuous relationships, and boundless cursing are just a few of the many vices portrayed in this story. This is truly and utterly despicable. Sir, I'd recommend you go to your local church and pray that God shows you the light, because even though this is a work of fiction, you have clearly strayed from the path of salvation.
-- Concerned Father on 9/3/2015 1:18:57 AM with a score of 0
I didn't realize each starting point to "Die, beg, or struggle" had entirely different story lines. This was fucking awesome.
on 8/31/2015 6:17:26 PM with a score of 0
A damned great storygame. Unfortunately, lt seems pretty linear. I only played/read lt once though, so I could be wrong. It's long & epic, with excellent characters. You will be immersed in a fantastic world with unique creatures, amazing wars & inventive ideas. This storygame shall forever live on, like the genre of ltself. Eternal is eternal.
-- Microblue on 8/30/2015 6:21:29 AM with a score of 0
Um. What just happened? That was probably the weirdest thing I've EVER read.
-- Person on 8/27/2015 3:53:29 PM with a score of 0
Wow.. This is some perspective shifting level of writing. I just got the Eternal Paragon ending, and I'm simply speechless on how throughly well it had been written. I laughed, smiled, shouted and even became angry during this journey of emotions. It truly felt as if I lived an entire life a matter of hours.
I'm astounded, if this is the work of a master writer, than I certainly have long road of learning before, I even come close to your skill.
on 8/26/2015 11:31:17 AM with a score of 0
I almost completely forgot this website, and I am glad that I remembered it, because this story is as good is ever.
-- Omegagoldfish on 8/21/2015 5:50:37 PM with a score of 0
As an avid reader. I must state, that this is the best story I have ever read. Heinlein was amazing, but loved too move slowly. Charles de Lint was great, but sometimes moved too quickly. While this story hit all the right marks of intention and speed. I must say I loved it.
-- Ivan Thonosi on 8/17/2015 12:56:18 AM with a score of 0
It was hugely long.It was possibly the longest story I played on CYS, probably the one I enjoyed the most. Like EM said in the summary, it was mostly story but a lot of interactivity was present as well.This is my first full playthrough of the story. I feel there are so many more endings, all of them good. I'm gonna replay this a few times more. Overall I would give this story 10/8( Even better than Hershey's Kisses)
on 8/16/2015 2:21:13 PM with a score of 0
Pretty good. Don't go for his eyes or face
-- Tom Frank on 8/11/2015 11:20:24 AM with a score of 0
Easily my favorite story on this entire website so far, it has a few spelling and grammatical errors, but nothing major that destroys the immersion, but other than that it is easy to understand and delve into 10/10 would recommend.
on 8/10/2015 7:28:11 AM with a score of 0
Awesome... This one is so good I'm finding it very easy to sacrifice time I could be spending sleeping, eating, or hanging with my wife and kids!
on 8/9/2015 2:39:36 AM with a score of 0
I always die. Is there a more glorious ending or is it all death?
on 8/6/2015 1:11:38 PM with a score of 0
Wow... so many directions you can go I spent the better part of a day enthralled in the plot, the romance, and the twists. This is a true masterpiece. Bravo
on 8/1/2015 11:11:40 PM with a score of 0
Probably the best of EndMasters games, due to the fact that it isn't made for the purpose of giving you laughs from the usage of vulgar terms. There is actually not a ton of that, showing a side of endmaster I haven't really seen. It's long, with many, many branches. I found epilogue 13 for gods sake. He took enough time for 13 epilogues! And there's only one true ending really. Technically 2, but one of them isn't an epilogue. But if endmaster could cut down on the bad words even more, he could actually go and sell this on the app store and windows store and really make some cash... Of course he'd have to either make a go back option there or actually make choices lead to more places, but still. I thought I went through every ending, then went back and found 3 more. And still haven't found them all. Endmaster has truly done a great work.
-- . on 7/31/2015 9:39:46 AM with a score of 0
This game is fucking amazing and massive. Tbh i felt like I was there. My only complaint is i wanted to end up with that sadistic bitch and it being a happy end.
on 7/30/2015 4:57:54 AM with a score of 0
on 7/27/2015 4:44:17 PM with a score of 0
So much content! Eternal left me speechless after playing through and exploring it's web of choices, seeing how paths make vague refrences to each other and the different scenarios they bring. The characters and settings are spot on and I'd say this is a definite MUST PLAY!!
-- Mr. House on 7/25/2015 5:38:46 AM with a score of 0
on 7/23/2015 6:55:50 PM with a score of 0
10/10 Best plot ever
-- Nyxantine on 7/22/2015 8:08:14 AM with a score of 0
Wow such a fantastically written story!
This makes me so happy because of all those tiny, lazy stories. I can tell what effort you put into this. Keep up the good work! You deserve an 8/8.
on 7/20/2015 10:42:32 AM with a score of 0
beautiful story telling: you will not believe how many times i had to go back just to catch up with everything. to be frank, it took me a whole month just to reach all the endings: a wonderful story indeed.
on 7/19/2015 10:28:40 PM with a score of 0
I have read almost all of your stories and though I thouroghly enjoyed playing it through, I think Necromancer is just slightly better due to how in some ways it kinda leads up to this story the same could be said in the case with Suzy's Strange Saga, but thats more of a did not see that coming kind of moment, which I feel should be read after Eternal. Other than that I cant begin to say how floored I was by each of the stories though I'm not entirely sure I found all of the epilogues, due to me power reading it in two days, but that doesn't change the fact that you have a naturally talent for writing, and the ways in which you incorporate all your stories together in slight or large ways left me in awe.
on 7/10/2015 1:55:54 AM with a score of 0
Well that was an interesting ending. At points I was wondering if I would ever reach the end. It was long, but completely worth ever second. If you do play this one you should make sure to read the whole thing it is more fun that way.
on 7/7/2015 5:52:34 AM with a score of 0
I am completely obsessed with this. I have lost countless hours just playing on and on. I congratulate you on this impressive pice of work.
-- Mykkle on 7/7/2015 5:06:28 AM with a score of 0
on 7/3/2015 9:25:40 PM with a score of 0
I hope you make many more! This was a awesome story. 10/10
-- Nic on 7/2/2015 5:54:23 PM with a score of 0
A very good story filled with tons of action
on 6/28/2015 6:09:57 AM with a score of 0
I love the works by this author, but Eternal is by far the best, hands down.
-- James on 6/25/2015 11:36:34 PM with a score of 0
Paragon and Emperor endings finished. 7 more to go
on 6/24/2015 1:23:56 PM with a score of 0
Eternal Bane and Couple finished. 9 more to go
on 6/23/2015 12:02:04 PM with a score of 0
10 outta freaking 10. This storyline with it's multitude of happy and melancholy endings are one of a kind. Endmaster has a seriously great story writing skill.
-- Anonymous on 6/23/2015 12:20:22 AM with a score of 0
Took me a whole day to finish, this story is just pure gold. Looking forward to read more of you :).
-- Azaroth on 6/22/2015 8:33:41 PM with a score of 0
-- Anonymous on 6/15/2015 4:19:26 AM with a score of 0
This is one of many worlds I have lived. Eternal has satisfied.
-- Lone Fox of Night on 6/15/2015 2:43:33 AM with a score of 0
Finished eternal hero and eternal survivor over 3 days. 11 more to go.
And to endmaster or those who've read all the endings, is there a good ending with semra? I offer my soul to you to answer. Love her character to death.
All in all, thanks you for this amazing story endmaster.
on 6/14/2015 12:55:11 PM with a score of 0
on 6/14/2015 10:16:16 AM with a score of 0
VERY GOOD but not excellent...
on 6/12/2015 6:47:08 PM with a score of 0
Every decision i made i was scared i was going to die lol! You make amazing stories Keep it up!
-- Michael on 6/9/2015 8:31:43 PM with a score of 0
It was the best stor I have read so far I think it could become a movie
on 6/8/2015 5:28:50 PM with a score of 0
Nah, they're sort of a mixture of D&D Derro, the original Derro myth, "regular dwarves", along with some stuff I made up. I planned to have a little more about them in the story, but it just never quite fit in the plot lines so most of it got cut.
Never could get very far in Dwarf Fortress.
on 6/8/2015 12:05:51 PM with a score of 0
Are the Derro based on dwarf fortress dwarves? Just wondering.
-- DFguy on 6/8/2015 3:29:21 AM with a score of 0
on 6/5/2015 12:06:20 AM with a score of 0
-- Simon on 6/2/2015 8:17:27 AM with a score of 0
It was fun but with ALOT of reading, I feel like it could have been alot better.
-- Andy on 6/1/2015 7:01:04 PM with a score of 0
Beautiful absolutely beautiful...
-- Garret on 5/25/2015 6:47:21 PM with a score of 0
Well, I just went through my first hour and a half of Eternal, and got 1 Epilogue. I know what I'll be reading for the next year...
on 5/19/2015 6:50:29 AM with a score of 0
one of the most awesome stories I ever read it keeps you interested at each and every turn
-- Eternal on 5/18/2015 4:54:08 PM with a score of 0
This was the most interesting choice story I have ever read. It has so may endings and ways to die. I went through all 13 endings. There are so many decisions with logical and unexpected results. Everyone needs to read this, has action and a little other kind of "action"
-- Case M on 5/13/2015 9:56:47 PM with a score of 0
on 5/11/2015 12:17:23 PM with a score of 0
Fantastic story, perfect length. took me three days and i ended with epi. 10.
on 5/5/2015 12:14:18 PM with a score of 0
Wow, this is a highly in-depth game. Great story and many different pathways, this is an epic. 8/8
on 5/3/2015 7:59:36 PM with a score of 0
This was my second time through-everyone needs to do this, I this time was Eternal Messiah
-- Case McAdam on 4/27/2015 9:29:39 PM with a score of 0
This was by far the best story I have read on here. I spent 6 hours strait ingulfed in the constant twists and turns this amazing story had to offer. I commend the author for all the time and effort he spent on this incredible tale. I would recommend this for anyone who wants a story where the decisions actually matter, and for those who want a story to remember.
-- Christian on 4/24/2015 4:47:48 AM with a score of 0
My epilogue was Eternal Hero
-- Case McAdam on 4/24/2015 12:31:01 AM with a score of 0
Impressive the amount of time that was put into this work!
-- Case on 4/24/2015 12:28:42 AM with a score of 0
I got the 'Eternal Survivor' ending and I loved it. Thank you, Endmaster, for this amazing story.
on 4/22/2015 8:00:36 PM with a score of 0
really impressive, can't imagine how much time was put into this
-- Darren on 4/21/2015 2:27:47 PM with a score of 0
This is my second time playing through, and I still loved the Survivor ending. Liked the Paragon more, but then again I have always been a bit of a goodie two shoes. One ending left, and since I have heard it be called the Eternal Bane ending, I don't think I'm going to like the way this will go.
-- guest on 4/19/2015 2:41:56 AM with a score of 0
Great, just like all of endmanster's work, thought a bit more on the wordy side
on 4/17/2015 11:50:11 PM with a score of 0
This was....woah. I haven't even gone through all the parts, but the ending I got was the best I have ever seen in a choose your own story game in a Long time. I'm a mother fucking god bitch!
-- gues on 4/13/2015 3:09:21 AM with a score of 0
I was rather surprised when my grab for power eventually got me the eternal hero ending (plenty of missteps along the way)but I suppose history is written by the victors and I did get rid of those darned bug people. All in all, another great story (I read necromancer first, this is the second) and I will look into any others by the aptly named Endmaster
-- Reader on 4/12/2015 1:03:36 PM with a score of 0
I personally have enjoyed every epilogue although some are bound to be better than us. My favourite was epilogue 13, the one where you become death personified. Wait a second, could the god of death possibly be the protagonist from necromancer after his war?
-- Dibo the Gift Dragon on 4/12/2015 2:34:41 AM with a score of 0
Excellent in both length and quality. I rated it 8, because EndMaster really deserves this.
on 4/6/2015 9:27:25 AM with a score of 0
When I had first played (Though mostly read) this storygame, I found it similar to other stories published by Endmaster including necromancer, ground Zero etc.
Though now, I realise this story stands out with its "Eternal Hero" ending. This story has much to offer and, unlike some other story's found on chooseyourstory.com, this story is actually presentable as a well thought out novel (of sorts).
Like many, it has been a pleasure to read this compelling in-depth storygame.
-- Karod1blockbreaker on 4/6/2015 7:32:19 AM with a score of 0
great story ending 13 my first try got to be honest I liked it but I prefer the one with Allison. definitely recommend reading and reread again until I get all endings.
-- nike on 4/3/2015 6:54:34 PM with a score of 0
This was awesome! I got to Epilogue and eternal life with Alison!
-- Omoyemi on 4/3/2015 11:02:50 AM with a score of 0
I loved this story not as much as The necromancer But it was a close second, IT took me 2 and a half day to finish it. And it was well worth the read you have gotten me back into reading for the first time in a long time, and i thank you and look forward to reading all of your works. Much love Mr.Black.
-- Mr.Black on 4/2/2015 11:02:27 PM with a score of 0
I will give this another shot
-- Disopointed Necromancer on 3/28/2015 12:59:51 AM with a score of 0
Didnt finish. Story was rushed. Some points had forced things. Rape scene!! Little on the thoughts of your character. Very discripted but lacking.Some choices was a comletetly pointless. The orc and the payraise should have been to the emporer not you.THERES ONLY ONE OPTION.
DEATHS ARE STUPID. YOU RUSHED IN CHARACTERS. Like by the way there is a nasty traitor that use to act like the shadow clan that used sly tricks on you,then joined them;hes now a enemy. You could have had him act upon you then give the flashback.OTHERWISE your a good writer i loved necromancy that was good.
-- Disappointed Necromancer Fan on 3/27/2015 10:24:09 PM with a score of 0
Geez.... that was awesome! Took me ages to do but i loved it! you were so desriptive it was rediculous! How many years did this take you to do...! :)
on 3/24/2015 12:23:49 AM with a score of 0
I'm back from yesterday lol, I did good, and I liked it, but not more than Reese cups ;)
-- Giger on 3/18/2015 8:14:20 AM with a score of 0
I just completed the Eternal Hero ending, along with Eternal Destroyer before it, spending almost an entire day playing just this game. I originally revisited this for nostalgia, having fallen in love with Endmaster's stories in the past (Necromancer, Ground Zero and this one, Eternal). I've played Innkeeper and several others as well.
Coming back to this though, I've never experienced something as incredibly immersing and emotionally gripping as Eternal, save for some very rare roleplay sessions. And those required my soulmate roleplaying with me in real-time.
I always find myself in awe everytime I go through one of these Eternal stories that spans decades, sometimes centuries, wishing I could write my stories even half as well.
There's also a love-hate relationship here regarding choice. Endmaster provides a limited range of choices that will almost always do one of two things. Either it branches the story into completely different directions, or it's a dead end. I understand why Endmaster does it (due to a previous explanation in forums) and it's a brilliant way to handle writing something as a big as Eternal, but it leaves me craving more in some situations. It also is sometimes frustrating to pick what seems to be a very valid tactical choice and then be hit by a "tomato surprise" of something not described earlier fucking you over. To be fair, most of the time it still has a good reason for happening.
It's been a long time since I've played, so I can't be certain if I've missed one yet, but I really wish there was a path where you could make things work with Semra sooner, before she... suffers certain effects (avoiding spoilers). Not because I personally would like such a person, but story-wise I was always conflicted on how despite how evil and cruel she can be, she was also the single-most helpful and "loving" of the characters if you choose a certain path. She's constantly looking out for you and warning you and yet the main character will ALWAYS without fail (unless you're given a choice, which is in my opinion slightly too rare for this) refuse to accept her as an ally. I understand why, I know why the main character would hate her, but I also feel it'd be a great experience to see what it'd be like if he'd just accept her offer, give in to the temptation sooner, not fight her at every turn.
Regardless of my little hang-up with Semra, I love this series, it's my favorite story online or otherwise and it has inspired me to continue trying to write as well. Thank you Endmaster for this incredible experience. You are truly an ETERNAL inspiration.
-- NeoC on 3/13/2015 3:41:13 PM with a score of 0
this is the best story iv ever read it brought me to tear at the end iv not cried like that in year thank you so much for this story i loved it so much
-- martin on 3/12/2015 3:43:29 PM with a score of 0
It was a beautiful, and very very long story
on 3/11/2015 3:07:12 PM with a score of 0
Brilliant story, so far my all time favorite. I will read more of your stories and I hope you can write even more for other aspiring writers like me to enjoy!
on 3/11/2015 3:59:13 AM with a score of 0
Uh...Ugh....yeah, I enjoyed the adventure, with all its endings. Endmaster seems a bit too modest to extend his master status to other fields of expertise.
on 2/28/2015 8:14:17 PM with a score of 0
I really have to applaud you for all the love and detail that you have put into this story given that it must have taken you at least a few months to flesh out this story. I haven't read a story as addicting as this for a long time, and I would personally buy a physical copy of this so that I could share this with my friends and family. One critique that I have is that it is hard to differentiate between the choices that will lead to different endings and the choices that just stop at a dead end.
Nevertheless, I do believe that this is a masterpiece in the making. My first ending was Eternal Hero, and it was interesting to see a plot twist like that happen. Then I went back to an alternate path that led to Eternal Harbringer, which in my opinion gave me a lot more details about the relationships between the characters and the fact that I went from a hero to a bringer of the Apocalypse faced with the same three choices (struggle, die, and beg) really made me smile. I hope that you continue to create these fantastic stories--either as a hobby or as a professional career--and that this story itself becomes eternal.
-- Daniel on 2/25/2015 10:10:43 AM with a score of 0
Why, EndMaster, your cloud of awesomeness is making us normals feel bad.
on 2/24/2015 9:48:36 PM with a score of 0
I've spent the last five days reading Eternal, and I finally read through all 13 stories it contains. This is a work of art. Simply amazing. Details are woven in throughout each path to tie in to the others, giving a very coherent and consistent world. The other characters are well developed, and I genuinely cared about some of them, while despising others. The protagonist is one of the best characters I have ever had the pleasure to "play as". He feels real, and all of his actions make sense, and fit into his overall character as it changes over time. I really felt the difference between 16-year-old me and 40-year-old me, in every path. I felt his drive and determination, his frustration in defeat and his glory in victory. I felt his love and his hate. He is an exceptional character.
Now, I couldn't bring myself to give this game an eight. This is because of the quality of the writing itself. There are grammar and spelling errors throughout the story. Many times, I'd say something and wonder, "Would a real person say it like that?" It made me sad to look at Eternal this way. I wish this could have had the service of an editor. It would have greatly improved the experience if I hadn't seen there/they're/their mistakes, or watched people talk in ways that no real person would. The fact that Eternal has had such success in the site despite all of that is a testament to how great the story is.
Endmaster, you are truly the master of the Crapsack World. I salute you. I will always remember this story, and you will always and forever remain ETERNAL.
-- Clement on 2/24/2015 12:27:39 PM with a score of 0
on 2/24/2015 1:56:48 AM with a score of 0
I don't think I left a comment before when I read Eternal, and looking back over the past several years, I feel I owe you one.
If this sounds corny, so be it, but it is all true.
When I first came to this site three years ago as an account-less lurker, I was absolutely captivated by your stories, namely Eternal and Necromancer, as they were the first I read. These two stories inspired me to begin writing for pleasure for the first time since I was a senior in high school.
I keep files of my old writing from back then, and every so often I compare them to something I've done recently. The difference is night and day. And while I still have plenty of room for improvement, I know I would not be at this point now, if it were not for your stories and the inspiration I drew from them. For that, I am Eternally Grateful.
on 2/23/2015 11:03:51 PM with a score of 0
Took a few days to even finish a few plots
damn this thing Is long...
-- WOAH on 2/23/2015 12:41:27 AM with a score of 0
It was freaking amazing. I had a long passage about its amazing ness and how I wanted to profusely thank the author here, but I accidentally deleted it and I'm not going to write it again.
I'm going to write the ending headings down below here. Its not too spoily, but I would advise you to find all of the endings first. (My favorite one was 12!)
I hope you enjoyed!
-- Alex Keller on 2/21/2015 12:30:15 AM with a score of 0
More addictive than meth
on 2/20/2015 3:02:57 AM with a score of 0
on 2/19/2015 8:46:53 AM with a score of 0
Ugh I'm so frustrated about everything, but this is such a damn good story/stories. I've gotten to quite a few epilogues, of which Eternal Harbinger and Eternal Survivor are pretty great, but I prefer the "Die" option (one of three, which includes Harbinger).
My hat's off to you. I'm hooked on this little fucked up individual's various outcomes, and it's all your fault. Thanks!
-- M. Kitty on 2/18/2015 10:35:59 PM with a score of 0
Got epilogue 10, I'm not sure if that was the best ending, but it was a good one.
-- DualPistol on 2/17/2015 10:45:19 PM with a score of 0
Margaret, are you joking? This is in 'Top Rated.' I think your version of 'exciting' is playing with paper clips.
This story is amazing. I'm just sitting here and....well, I want to play again.
on 2/17/2015 12:06:11 PM with a score of 0
Really enjoyed it! Got ending 10 ;)
-- Jonas on 2/17/2015 3:58:02 AM with a score of 0
This is among the greatest games on this website. I mean really, it unbelievably long, the plot is great, the writing and grammar is descriptive and makes sense. What more can you ask?
on 2/14/2015 7:57:41 PM with a score of 0
I got Eternal Hero.
on 2/12/2015 5:41:12 PM with a score of 0
The first story I viewed on this site.
on 2/12/2015 1:47:32 AM with a score of 0
And once again I am impressed by one of your stories . Thank you man, and do us all a favor and never stop writing (sorry for my limited gramer I am portuguese)
on 2/6/2015 11:59:26 PM with a score of 0
This game is sooo sooo boring! I think no one should ever play this game! It sucks so bad!
-- Margaret on 2/1/2015 8:56:32 PM with a score of 0
Damn he was that sick twisted svelk bitchs WORLD. I wish i had that..
-- Jeff on 1/29/2015 1:07:00 AM with a score of 0
Simply amazing. The work put in this story is breath-taking. Bravo, sir.
on 1/28/2015 5:28:19 PM with a score of 0
An incredible story. My first experience of a storygame, but what
a remarkable work of art! Surely, I am overthrilled by the
taste of something quite so surprising, but it just blows my mind
how this is so much more than any game I have played and can
parallel a great work of literature masterfully. I thank the author
for a truly fun and capturing tale. May it be Eternal!
on 1/18/2015 5:16:17 PM with a score of 0
-- a on 1/18/2015 9:51:38 AM with a score of 0
Three days,mit took me. Three days, nonstop of this story before I finished, before I was the Eternal Hero in 566. This is my third Endmaster game, the others being Necromancer and Ground Zero, and not only am I pleasantly surprised on the amazing quality of the story, "Eternal" will have a very hard time to be beat. Rich characters, detailed environments... Some of the choices were harsh and ended in brutal death, but every step was just another one closer to absolute satisfaction.
Eternal is a must play and replay. It will definitely not disappoint.
on 1/17/2015 1:51:59 PM with a score of 0
Holy hot damn, this is one of the best stories on this site. No words can describe the genius that makes up the greatness you're about to read. What? You aren't going to read it? TOO BAD, THIS ISN'T SOMETHING YOU PASS UP. THIS IS SOMETHING YPU CHANGE YOUR RELIGION FOR. be prepared for a literary masterpiece.
-- my god this was just so damn g on 1/14/2015 8:56:35 AM with a score of 0
Fucking EPIC I just finish as the Tyrant who killed evil demon to save a girl
10/10 must play again
on 1/13/2015 12:42:38 AM with a score of 0
-- qT43 on 1/11/2015 7:34:10 PM with a score of 0
OMG! It was a great story.
-- Undean on 1/11/2015 4:44:05 AM with a score of 0
Just amazing better than necromancer i personally liked it but i found it to be a little long at times but other than that great
-- Septim54 on 1/11/2015 3:43:04 AM with a score of 0
Is there a path in the story where I murder the emperor and make it an anarchy? From the very beginning I felt like I was under too much control.
-- Marshall on 1/6/2015 7:09:30 PM with a score of 0
The ranking says it all: once I started reading, I couldn't stop. 'Epic' in the true sense of the word, this was an engrossing and inspiring tale and one I plan on replaying soon! This is, by far, my favorite story and the most well-written on this site. Well done and thanks!
on 1/6/2015 1:13:28 PM with a score of 0
Though this story is pretty damn good, I am a little disappointed over the lack of actual choices.
Most of the times all you get is two options, one which is wrong and one that is right.
But as you get to the end of this well written story, you get a lot more choices, probably due to the fact that it is more easier to make multiple choices around an ending that it is to make every single choice count.
Besides all that this story was good and engaging and the fact that you were given a role of a character rather than picking choices and feeling quite emotionless as some stories in this genre tend to make you made the experience so good.
Few minor errors in the story itself and surely worth the read.
Good job, and thanks for the hours of entertainment!
-- Rasmus on 1/6/2015 8:39:53 AM with a score of 0
THE BEST STORY I'VE DONE!!!!
-- Chris on 1/3/2015 7:30:39 PM with a score of 0
Deep story line with a great plot and multiple branches with different consequences. I really enjoyed this.
-- Cal on 12/31/2014 10:25:35 AM with a score of 0
-- skittles on 12/24/2014 1:01:35 AM with a score of 0
My first story to read here and I greatly enjoyed it. Will probably go back and check alternative routes. Thanks!
on 12/15/2014 2:55:38 PM with a score of 0
Horrible I want better endings!
-- Alexis on 12/13/2014 1:22:10 AM with a score of 0
Ho. Ly. Shit. That... that was incredible.. the absolute best piece of written media I have ever indulged in. I chose the struggle path with Decena, and eventually created an entire race of Eternals, and it was just... heartwarming.. The best part is that the main character is never referred to by name, so you can always feel yourself in his shoes, making the decisions yourself, and.. being revered as a savior of sorts. The story I chose was.. heartwarming. You could see how the main character changed and grew as a person throughout his lifetime, and even how the 'minor' characters all have backstories and also grow and change over time. The only sad thing is that there was never any true.. "resolution" with Mistress, but I hope to find such a resolution in one of the many, many branches in the story. My first story I've read on this site, and it was positively.. magical. I cant wait to explore one of the other paths, specifically the one that takes me to the distant future. My only tiny little nitpick is that there Are some slight typos that become more frequent near the end of the story, but with as many branches and story arcs that needed to be written for this, I suppose that is to be expected, and the typos never harm the storytelling, which remains magnificent throughout. Truly breathtaking, and I'm glad to have experienced this in my lifetime. :3
on 12/12/2014 2:55:05 PM with a score of 0
Well connected with all the rest of your work, second best after Necromancer!
on 12/10/2014 7:45:26 AM with a score of 0
That was a brilliant admirable work... i wish it was more advanced though
on 11/26/2014 4:07:05 PM with a score of 0
I am literally spending days going through the different stories. Amazingly thought out, I actually changed my life based off the how this story presented it's ideas. Absolutely worth the indulgence.
-- Aaron T. on 11/25/2014 3:07:35 AM with a score of 0
sex scene... wat?
-- new guy on 11/24/2014 1:44:01 AM with a score of 0
glad i took my time to read it
-- WAJDI on 11/21/2014 10:49:33 AM with a score of 0
Worth every time spent reading this story
on 11/20/2014 10:36:59 AM with a score of 0
I couldn't have asked for a better ending. I personally like creating a race rather than destroying many others.
-- Tyler on 11/14/2014 1:55:00 PM with a score of 0
This was incredible! I had to keep going for over a day to get the best ending, but still... EndMaster, I love your work!
-- eragonlover on 11/13/2014 6:21:19 PM with a score of 0
-- kAt on 11/9/2014 6:05:55 AM with a score of 0
i have become emotionally attached to the characters in this story. i love it, and i think everyone above 18 should play it (sorry, minors, but it's got some stuff you shouldn't read) but it definitely will play with your emotions, and is just amazing
on 11/8/2014 10:13:29 AM with a score of 0
on 11/4/2014 2:59:00 PM with a score of 0
Very awesome story.
-- Dylan on 11/1/2014 4:09:40 PM with a score of 0
i am truly in lightened by this story. I know that even many hundred years is going to pass this can never be bested. The best even of all end master's story. Thank you end master for the greatest story I ever and will ever read. Long live the emperor! Long live the empire!
-- imortal on 10/27/2014 1:16:29 PM with a score of 0
This game is one of the best I have seen on this site! It seems you have so many choices to pick from and you can just keep playing and playing and playing for hours on end! Once you get to the part where you decide where to and what to do after the Empire crashes, the game gets even more wonderful. I have one played one route, the mercenary route, and I think the ending was absolutely wonderful. I can't wait to play the other routes and see what minor changes I can do that affect the whole game. I know I will spend many, many hours playing this over and over, and still love it.
on 10/26/2014 1:46:48 AM with a score of 0
Great story! At some points I was considering stopping, but it just kept getting more and more interesting. It is pretty long, especially if you want all the epilogues, and I did notice quite a few spelling/grammar mistakes, but it is overall a great story!
-- Anonymous on 10/24/2014 5:27:23 PM with a score of 0
Really Deep story, the only thing bothering me is that there are to much 'wrong' choises, making an different statement schouldn't mean instant death, tahtats not the point of text based games. I Do understand that it would take to long to make several main story's, and overall I really enjoyed the experience. Keep it up!
on 10/18/2014 8:07:33 PM with a score of 0
I have the eternal hero ending and it was an awesome game.
-- Shadow on 10/18/2014 4:36:54 PM with a score of 0
Good story, my first one on this site. It was definitely interesting, I enjoy the fantasy war theme. I love all of the extra stuff, it's definitely worth reading to enhance the story. It just leaves me with more questions than answers. *SPOILER ALERT*: Do not read on if you haven't read the story. I was disappointed that I couldn't find a successful ending. Maybe this is just me? If it is please let me know. I got to the point where you decide to replace Roland or bring the svelk to your camp. I chose the svelk at first but all of the options led to my death. I went back to choose Roland instead and again I died. Is there a way to avoid this and keep playing? Overall good story, although a bit too R-Rated at times for my taste. But I should have payed attention to the rating. Thank you!
on 10/18/2014 12:03:59 AM with a score of 0
ya ya ya. This was sweet.
-- Lorde on 10/15/2014 5:23:25 PM with a score of 0
a simply fantastic read.
on 10/15/2014 12:26:21 PM with a score of 0
Absolutely amazing read
on 10/7/2014 5:43:32 PM with a score of 0
Holy Fucking God that was the most epic story I have ever read. I spent almost an entire week glued ot my computer because of this story. 8/8
on 10/7/2014 6:00:03 AM with a score of 0
I can't think of anything to say, which is amazing, because in a story game like this, I usually have a lot to say (about how awesome it was), but I guess it was so good, that I don't have any words. Except this.
on 10/2/2014 5:43:51 PM with a score of 0
-- Nic on 10/1/2014 12:21:45 AM with a score of 0
Just read through for my first time - got eternal harbinger ending after dying 17 times along the way - what an epic story
-- shadrack on 9/30/2014 9:50:32 PM with a score of 0
love it best one i played
on 9/29/2014 12:32:38 AM with a score of 0
Great story, I have spent a buttload of time reading and re-reading it, trying out different paths. Definitely recommend this to everyone! :)
on 9/24/2014 6:35:07 AM with a score of 0
yes! made it to year 101
15 out of 8
way to epic to to put into words just how great it is
(only took 9 hours to finish
-- josh on 9/16/2014 12:00:50 AM with a score of 0
Okay, i i´ve finished the entire thing (or at least one of the endings) and i must say, WHAT A EXPERIENCE, the 8/8 rating is not mere exaggeration, it does really brings you enlightenment of the sort of finishing reading i excellent book, last time i felt like this was when i finished The Godfather or The Stanger (closer to the later), very well done.
on 9/14/2014 6:28:50 PM with a score of 0
Brilliant work there, the characters are well constructed your choices have real meaning and impacts and if if you died if you feel it was for good reason.
I will most certainly spend more time on this to reach and ending.
on 9/14/2014 1:16:43 PM with a score of 0
Good but kind of a screwed up way to die
-- J on 9/14/2014 8:33:20 AM with a score of 0
this is an incredibly long piece, but barely suffers for it. it is an exceptional story and your choices really do make significant change. i'll hold this story in my heart for years to come...
-- sean on 9/12/2014 12:39:58 AM with a score of 0
Wonderful! Nice and long as well. In my opinion, beautifully written. Good work!
-- Ian Davis on 9/5/2014 11:10:15 PM with a score of 0
Ending 10: Eternal Hero
This has to be one of the best stories I've ever read. After choosing "struggle" I spent a few days reading through it and enjoyed every second of it. I can't wait to go back and find the other endings!
on 8/30/2014 8:18:51 PM with a score of 0
That was not that hard... The word lied(-_-)
-- Nightmare8520 on 8/30/2014 8:06:43 AM with a score of 0
I did enjoy it a lot, but once I killed the emperor and ended up in the future, sometimes I noticed that the grammar would deteriorate, and the story became much less interesting than it was back in the Old Empire. That said it was still a memorable experience, and I love that I will always be, an Eternal Hero.
-- Adam Baker on 8/28/2014 9:42:25 PM with a score of 0
The story is really great, it is a mix of political, religious, supernatural story. I wish you could have put a special eternal ending being a eternal shadow traitor and I wish some of the bad endings are longer but overall One of the best stories so far in this site.
Everything was written well and there is an aura that immersed us in the story.
on 8/28/2014 8:40:16 PM with a score of 0
It was a really nice game! I got the ending with Brenda. It is quite long though, and so diverse and that is what makes it so great.
on 8/26/2014 1:30:41 PM with a score of 0
After hours I have reached ending 10 "Eternal Hero" and this ending was completely worth it. The story was moving and did not sugarcoat the horrors of war. It was descriptive, the characters were compelling (particularly "Mistress"), and I felt as if I was immersed in the story. I absolutely loved it and this story is what made me want to join this website. The hype was deserved.
I felt like crying when it was over... Chills and a sense of loss. Not every story can move a person, and I didn't expect to find one online. I read every bit I could. The more information I received, the better in my opinion. The world building was terrifically done. The races, the politics, the everything was bursting with life.
I'll remember this one for a long time. Always and forever, Eternal.
on 8/23/2014 11:06:02 PM with a score of 0
You stole that pineapple idea from Little Nicky
on 8/23/2014 10:26:01 PM with a score of 0
I find it hard to believe that anyone could write this shit. You obviously have no morals for writing this. I hope you walk into a brick wall, accidently slit your genitals open, and fall into a vat of salt. Don't ask me how that would work, but I am sure physics would make a way, if only because they are sorely pissed off that something like this is allowed to exist. I'm still pissed from reading this. I hope you raped by a pack of coyotes and finished off by an overly horny grizzly bear. I would print this game out and use it for toilet paper, but I'm afraid even being in close proximity to it would cause my anus to bleed profusely.
This is a terrible game and you are a terrible person. Go to Hell and take this pathetic excuse for a game with you. It might give the demons some entertainment while they cram large pineapples into your rectum.
-- SomeGuyNamedJim on 8/23/2014 9:19:33 PM with a score of 0
This is the best story i have read on this site.. I bit too much swearing like when zana exposed herself but it was really really good. Keep up the good work ;) !!!
-- Vlado on 8/20/2014 3:46:50 PM with a score of 0
I loved it! I got the hero ending. I feel like the writing quality declined in terms of grammar, etc. as the story progressed, but the story itself was astounding.
on 8/19/2014 8:23:06 PM with a score of 0
Actually enjoyed the game to a degree but there were a few thing I wish were more fleshed out.
on 8/17/2014 10:02:33 PM with a score of 0
wish there was some sort of walkthrough.
on 8/17/2014 9:35:40 PM with a score of 0
I hate you... I hate you and your stinky little stories... they make me wanna scream every time I read them. You fucking curse every fucking other fucking word of every fucking sentence... fuck, I keep saying fuck. See what you've done? I hope you go home and masturbate into a can of campbell's soup as a single tear slowly rolls down your cheek you fat sack of ebola.
Ps, I love you.
-- yeyenigga on 8/17/2014 9:53:26 AM with a score of 0
Holy carp, okay first off this is the most amazingly awesome messed up, twisted story I've ever read! Not to say it wasn't good, It was l33t! Dayum that mistress was one fucked up lady..."shudders" and it kinda made me sad that your character got turned into an evil megalomaniac, but at least he had some depth to him. I tried all the main endings...and honestly, I picked "struggle" because becoming a mindless scourge Lord to a death God isn't my idea of a good ending, true going insane and b ring tortured for all eternity isn't exacly nice either, and about being with my one true love forever? Not a bad idea I guess, but saying duck you to death just seem so much more bandass:D Ty for the ton of hours of enjoyable story!
-- CHOICE on 8/16/2014 3:22:46 AM with a score of 0
Of course it is.
on 8/15/2014 3:39:50 PM with a score of 0
Divine. Simply divine.
Question: is the death god the protagonist of necromancer if you reach the ending wher he travels from plane to plane?
-- Shepherd on 8/15/2014 2:44:55 PM with a score of 0
Got 5-7 different ETERNAL endings nice
-- nicodemus on 8/13/2014 11:27:22 PM with a score of 0
Made me question my morals a lot... That made it very enjoyable. This was my first adventure on this website, and it was an excellent first time... However, I would have preferred more choices in the character's actions... But I don't write, so I really have no right to say that.
-- Nite Tles on 8/12/2014 10:59:27 PM with a score of 0
Wow, that was incredible! This was my first time doing this sort of thing and I really enjoyed it! Kind of a bummer that I died so soon and in such a lame way... Oh well, it's better than living on with the guilt. So far this website's awesome, I'm definitely going to continue exploring it! Thanks for the fun story! :)
-- Madeline on 8/10/2014 9:43:34 PM with a score of 0
A truly interesting story.
-- Sage on 8/3/2014 3:12:25 PM with a score of 0
I would have liked it more if I could change my name and gender in the story
-- Steph on 8/1/2014 9:01:56 AM with a score of 0
One of thirteen endings. That's how many I have seen. I almost feel like I'm cheating having gotten this experience for the measly price of $0. If you have free time his is definitely a good way to spend it.
on 7/31/2014 4:23:39 AM with a score of 0
No choice of gender and getting killed for not taking the choice the author wants you to are examples of awful writing
-- John Smith on 7/31/2014 3:49:18 AM with a score of 0
One of the best, if not the best story on this site. I spent so many hours getting all the endings, including the bad ones. Feel it was a good use of my time.
-- SilverWing on 7/23/2014 1:00:31 AM with a score of 0
this is the best story here. Written of course by the best author. The greatest lesson that I have learned is. My life... All of our llives are nothing!
Long live the emperor!
Long live the empire!
-- imortal. on 7/21/2014 12:59:12 AM with a score of 0
Absolutely amazing story, immense world, and realistic characters. I've played it through for all thirteen epilogues and the differing paths lead to astonishingly different worlds. My favorite was the thirteenth, mainly because I think that the death god encountered is possibly the protagonist from Necromancer?
All together, I firmly believe this is the finest story on the entire website and congratulate Endmaster for his work.
-- David on 7/14/2014 8:56:33 PM with a score of 0
wow great story
-- jkgh on 7/11/2014 7:31:05 PM with a score of 0
Freaking amazing, I'm in the process of going back to get all the epilogues, and after at least a week, I only have 5. My only regret is that no matter how hard I tried, I could never end up with Semra. Oh well, there are still 8 more endings to go, maybe my secret desire will be met.
on 7/11/2014 1:34:29 PM with a score of 0
The main character is deliciously brutal. The story was dark, violent, wretched, and glorious. As long as you have a strong stomach, this story is an amazing thrill to play through. 8/8.
on 7/10/2014 1:14:53 AM with a score of 0
Very fun read! I enjoyed seeing the twists and turns as well as the various bad ends!
on 7/8/2014 9:44:49 AM with a score of 0
Such a beautiful and riveting story, I just love Drendrin
-- XenonVirus on 7/7/2014 8:11:13 AM with a score of 0
This game was awesome, it gave you a bond between the characters that you hated breaking. The limited choices was disheartening at first, but then you realise this story is epic, and even the decisions you do make affect it dramatically. Long Live the Empire. Long live the Emperor.
on 7/5/2014 3:40:24 AM with a score of 0
Pretty good, I simply died as a soldier though, but thats ok, can always go back and try again to step into that portal...
on 7/4/2014 10:50:27 PM with a score of 0
-- AJ on 7/4/2014 12:23:19 PM with a score of 0
I really liked it and i can tell you worked really hard on it but it was really long. Maybe a little too long.
on 7/4/2014 11:56:05 AM with a score of 0
Exciting story. Very poorly written in a grammatical sense.
-- Alan on 6/29/2014 7:40:35 PM with a score of 0
Wow I played and played and played this mercifully long story. And I have loved every second of doing so. Oh the devices used for the story and the infinitely creative endings for the protagonist leave the reader, huh, eternally entertained and relying on the eventual satisfaction they know is coming. I commend you for the quality of the story, effort it must've taken, and small pleasurable little devices you persisted in using.
on 6/29/2014 12:56:06 AM with a score of 0
Beautifully written, there are so many different paths to go down. I didn't look too closely at other path options, because my playthrough of the game (got to Epilogue 10) took eight hours total to read. This game was like a large novel and takes a long time to play, but it's completely worth it. Every page, even the death scenes, feel steeped with effort. I loved the character development and the multi-faceted personalities of each person. This is truly a masterpiece.
on 6/26/2014 4:47:43 PM with a score of 0
I'd rate this at a nine. There is a sprinkling of gramatical errors or i'd say it deserves a ten. I love the well developed characters and plots. The Eternal himself is so complex it's hard not to sympathize with him. May the empire stand forever!
on 6/23/2014 3:02:56 AM with a score of 0
This guy is truly impressive in scope and story. Even the dead ends a good. It well eat up hours of your life and you end up feeling like you have lived several other lives by the time you are done.
on 6/20/2014 10:11:59 PM with a score of 0
This, my friends... is an art on a whole new level. I always like the works of this person, and always wondering how he could write that much. The story feels like I'm living through it, and there's not even a single page that created half-heartedly. Kudos!!
on 6/19/2014 4:09:13 AM with a score of 0
Very and I mean Very well written, I expected no less from EndMaster. I have only one problem. If you choose to beg or struggle, it leads you to 5 epilogues each but if you choose to die...than you get 3 epilogues. That ratio doesn't make sense. EndMater should include more endings for shadow path. Now it's time for me to read the whole thing again
on 6/16/2014 8:06:35 AM with a score of 0
Oh... My... God... I'm ready for the movie version!
on 6/9/2014 2:54:16 AM with a score of 0
I was skeptical as of the start of the story. That didn't last long. This story enthralled me from start. Despite the relatively simplistic choices, I felt more immersed in the characters and world than I possibly have ever been. The protagonist was extremely interesting, and despite all his negative traits (practically a mass murderer) I couldn't stay angry with him. So multifaceted. Anyway, A twisted and fantastic experience.
on 6/8/2014 9:31:28 PM with a score of 0
A Truly epic story
on 6/8/2014 1:27:55 PM with a score of 0
This is truly something special. Great story and I feel very invested in the plot. Gets me coming back for more, to see how I can do better! Long live the Empire!
-- Schwitz on 6/8/2014 8:19:50 AM with a score of 0
As far as I can tell, no ane of the endings on the shadow path go much further than being bittersweet. They're so... emtionally impactful, though. I only got one epilogue on the flip-side so far though, so I'm gonna get back to it. I MUST ACQUIRE ALL THE EPILOGUES!
-- GiaZera on 6/7/2014 10:29:31 PM with a score of 0
Great story, epic
-- Juris on 6/5/2014 5:26:37 PM with a score of 0
a true work of art
on 6/4/2014 5:30:57 AM with a score of 0
-- Saba on 6/3/2014 11:12:40 PM with a score of 0
This could very well be one of the most amazing pieces I have ever read. The fact that you have incorporated a "choose your own adventure" style into a story this amazing is beyond me, but I definitely look forward to reading more of your material, even after just discovering this story today, I haven't been able to put my laptop down. Thank you for the enlightening and unbelievably entertaining piece of art.
-- Ty on 6/3/2014 1:34:38 AM with a score of 0
Absolutely brilliant! I loved the ending; it managed to be final and open at the same time. Wonderful :)
-- Keni on 5/31/2014 10:18:37 AM with a score of 0
This story.. this story.. I don't care about choices, this is by far the most immersive story I've ever read. I've been playing or reading through it the past week, and can never seem to get enough of it.. this is by far the best gamestory this site has to offer, and this experience will seem ETERNAL to me.
on 5/28/2014 3:32:58 PM with a score of 0
Absolutely bloody amazing story. It was so good, that I feel sad having to end it. There were some grammatical errors throughout and i felt as if most of the choices led to my dead. But the story was amazing and it didn't matter what i felt about the choices as the story was so good. End Master certainly has a strange mind, one could say twisted, but he is a brilliant writer.
on 5/26/2014 6:32:00 AM with a score of 0
on 5/23/2014 11:20:56 AM with a score of 0
Dear Gods that was a good story!
I got [Epilogue 10: Eternal Hero] ending and am certainly considering playing this again.
I will admit I did die more than once but had a great deal of enjoyment while doing so :3
I definately found my and Semras Love-Hate relationship very amusing and after I'm done writing this comment I'm most likely gunna go back to the choice between Lanay (forgot how to spell) and Terik (however you spell it) first ('always and forever' eh?). I can honestly say I didnt expect You-know-what to happen after killing you-know-who but that made the story all the more interesting!
Eternally Brilliant if I do say so myself :P
on 5/21/2014 2:01:05 PM with a score of 0
Amazing, I don't know how you do this, the choices I got near the end were difficult.
-- Omegagoldfish on 5/19/2014 7:15:46 PM with a score of 0
I see now why this is one of the best games on the site...because holy shit wow...
I tried it out sometime earlier but I quit due to skipping over huge walls of text and then finding myself not immersed in the story...DO NOT DO THIS PEOPLE. Read it all. It's worth it. It was a little boring for me at the point after I meet the emperor and have to go chase that cyrus shadow mainly due to too many information being thrown at once (about the gnomes and dwarves and all that other stuff).
Another minor complaint I had was that the protagonist was just...a fucking asshole at times. I never play a dude like that in games where I have a choice...he also didn't seem to focus on...him...but I guess that comes with the torture from that Svelk bitch.
And lastly I would've liked if the game had stats of some kind, like in Mommy (the story on this site) but you can't have everything.
All around and even with the grammar mistakes (which I guess will happen to anyone that writes a story THIS long) I give this an 8/8.
on 5/18/2014 10:26:22 AM with a score of 0
This.... just mind blowing, at first it looked like a wall of speech (and it is in some way :P) but it is a diamond wall of speech, in that its a sight to see, id take every part of it and hold it dear forever and that no matter how hard i try, i will never be able to forget it. and i truly hope another one is made, if you want to find a fantastic piece of literature and an even better choose your own adventure type story, you have come to the right place, Eternal is so good it needs its own word in the dictionary to describe it.
Eternal is Love
Eternal is life
-- TJ on 5/16/2014 6:51:15 PM with a score of 0
8/8 I reach all ending and it was good! Some of them have a sad ending and some of them have unexpected turn of events in the end sadly I can handle with this mixed feelings I mean there's a lot of girl come to his life and it was very emotional, they way you write it make me feel I was the eternal himself, he has been in the most difficult time in his life sometimes he can be cruel leader and sometimes he can be a desperate lover...It was very very very good reading and some of the ending make some of tear running through my eyes
-- ImagineWarrior on 5/15/2014 2:19:29 AM with a score of 0
I love the options...and the length. All around good game.8/8
on 5/9/2014 8:48:11 PM with a score of 0
I spent the entire day reading the story...wurf.
on 4/28/2014 6:29:41 AM with a score of 0
-- nick on 4/24/2014 12:27:02 PM with a score of 0
Well I finally got around to commenting on this and just wow! This story is amazing! It's practically a novel, heck if this were a novel I'm sure it would be a best seller. I can't think of a single thing that I didn't like. Perfection!
on 4/22/2014 12:25:51 AM with a score of 0
Great story. At the time I'm writing this, I am very close to exploring every possibility. Not just every epilogue, but every possible death. And there are a lot of those. My favorite thing is how you encounter the same people in different circumstances however you live your life in this game.
on 4/19/2014 11:56:21 PM with a score of 0
I conquered SPAAAAACE.
on 4/19/2014 6:12:39 PM with a score of 0
Wow. This was a fantastic story it was well written, engaging, and you really feel invested in the story. I know many people will complain about the lack of choices in it for a choose your own adventure story. But for what it was, it was incredible.
on 4/19/2014 1:51:02 AM with a score of 0
Amazing story! Not a game though.
on 4/18/2014 1:07:25 AM with a score of 0
It was a great story!
-- Pitchi on 4/15/2014 11:13:40 AM with a score of 0
I think it's kinda dumb the way i can die. It's like flipping a coin, no real logic to it.
on 4/15/2014 2:46:56 AM with a score of 0
EndMaster, I played few of your games and I must say good job. I mean I can't believe your not writing this with choice of games and selling these. But thank you very much and although I would like to see more choices having greater effect on the game it is still an awesome read.
-- John on 4/13/2014 12:58:55 PM with a score of 0
Well if you played through the path that lead to the 13th ending then you've found one connection to another story of mine.
on 4/12/2014 1:55:58 PM with a score of 0
I played through this game quite a few times and was able to find all 13 epilogues. All of them were unique and entertaining making it fun to replay a different path every time. I would like to know if this story has any connections to your other works?
-- David on 4/12/2014 9:04:02 AM with a score of 0
Oh my god this was one of the best storygames on the site. It's right up there with ground zero, necromancer, and mommy can i go out and kill tonight. Also I loved the ending where *SPOILERS HERE* there's the parade and the shadows kill roldan and you die and the last phrase is: "the happy thoughts that at least you got to see Mistress hit the ground a split second before you do." That's so fucked up but amazing at the same time. 16/8!
on 4/12/2014 1:48:54 AM with a score of 0
Nice how there are whole different stories based on tiny decisions in the start
on 4/11/2014 7:10:38 AM with a score of 0
brutal just brutal but the anime another is so much worse.
-- Tristan on 4/9/2014 2:15:13 PM with a score of 0
An inspiring story, in truth I admired how it was structured like a tree. The branches Spread "eternally" outwards from the first decision, and even later There are opportunities for Major story changes. THe characters were compelling, and I found it worth the time to discover the multitudes of endings. The one I actually got when using my own judgement was eternal terror.
-- Dominic on 4/4/2014 11:49:41 AM with a score of 0
Wow. That was spectacular. You truly have a gift to have created such a spectacular world. You did not just create one story, you created many in just 1 book. You should seriously think about, if you haven't yet, becoming an actual author. I am truly stunned about how entranced in that world I was. You might not get a choose your own story book published simply because there are not many of those, but if you create any more work I would love to read it. You put in that book great adventure, magic, technology, sexual desire, many different creatures, new continents, ruling an empire and more. I also always had suspense about dying in one wrong move. Thank you so much for spending your hard earned time writing this epic.
-- Ryan on 3/26/2014 9:59:14 PM with a score of 0
Best story ever.
on 3/24/2014 12:22:33 PM with a score of 0
Okay, I`m a new in this, but it wasnt hat great.
-- Benny on 3/23/2014 2:48:55 PM with a score of 0
Loved this story to bits. Sure it took me 3 days to get to my ending but I love-love-loved it. I got the Eternal Hero Epilogue. Oh how I enjoyed the adventure. 10/10.
on 3/22/2014 11:19:37 PM with a score of 0
In the back seat of a looong drive from FL to KY. The story was amazing! Can't wait to go back and try various other outcomes. Extremely well done!! You should write novels my friend.
-- Jesse on 2/28/2014 9:38:35 PM with a score of 0
But one thing, I miss big red
on 2/23/2014 2:13:09 PM with a score of 0
on 2/18/2014 2:25:43 PM with a score of 0
Epilogue 11: Eternal Paragon. That was an epic, and epically long, tale. It was interesting how much it held my interest, considering I didn't like most of the decisions my character made. It was like I was this overseer, trying to humanize my character as much as possible, with limited success. But the fact that I still enjoyed it as much as I did is a testament to the author's incredible writing ability.
on 2/13/2014 12:30:59 PM with a score of 0
One of the best stories I have ever read on this site. Well done!
on 2/7/2014 2:40:03 PM with a score of 0
First off: Amazing story, great concept, memorable characters, and enough twists and turns to keep me reading (that was just one go through). The only criticism I can give is that some pages were extremely long, some editing could've been beneficial. Very few grammatical errors, but I really dont expect one person to proof read everything especially considering the scope of Eternal. All said, One of your better stories, doesn't dethrone Necromancer as my hands down favorite, but a good read nonetheless.
on 2/6/2014 9:46:02 PM with a score of 0
That was absolutely great! I praise your patience for writing this, not only that, it was well thought out. I tried to see as much of the endings as I could in one linear plot, can't say I'm disappointed. Amusing and entertaining--even though it did distract me a lot from studying; then again, I don't really study anyway. Hm. Cheers! -Aren
-- Aren on 2/4/2014 10:24:04 AM with a score of 0
We are Eternals. We are war. Remember this. Otherwize I'm going to come back here and shove my hand through your chest and kill you. hahahahaha Crazy basstard engineer haha.
Wish the char should have fucked that dark elf, Eldalith? hahahaha.
-- walker on 1/30/2014 6:54:32 PM with a score of 0
Wonderfully done, played this game over a year ago and loved it so I returned and found an entirely new side of quests. Thanks for producing such a masterful piece that I believe surpasses Necromancer.
Sincerely, a major fan of your works
-- Kollskegg on 1/30/2014 1:34:37 AM with a score of 0
Holy. F*@#!ing. Sh@!.
Please consider writing more stories like this. Maybe not quite as dark, but we definitely need your masterful writing, great one.
on 1/29/2014 3:19:12 AM with a score of 0
Every choice felt significant. The story was well-written.
The sex and gore was rather over the top, though, and there were a couple nagging grammatical mistakes.
But problems aside, I enjoyed this storygame. Well-done, Endmaster.
on 1/29/2014 2:30:51 AM with a score of 0
This was an outstanding story before the "struggle" story line. Now It is one of the best stories I have ever read. This includes regular books.
on 1/24/2014 11:17:14 PM with a score of 0
on 1/24/2014 4:21:53 PM with a score of 0
Endmaster...this is fantastic. However, I wish I had a bit more control on my characted. Still, the best (along with DMW).
on 1/24/2014 12:28:23 AM with a score of 0
EndMaster, what are you doing with your life? You need to be publishing this right now! This was amazing! I don't know if your occupation is a writer, but if it isn't then change that! Enlighten the world with more great works (and get paid for it). I'd buy your work a 1000 times over.
-- Mark on 1/20/2014 2:38:46 AM with a score of 0
Awesome story, would recommend highly to anyone who enjoys a really awesome fantasy world/story.
on 1/11/2014 8:11:43 PM with a score of 0
THERE ARE SO MANY ROUTES
on 1/11/2014 2:06:12 AM with a score of 0
Nice ending, killed a demon lord. Wonder how the other demons are doing? 2 brothers killed, 1 had his sole banished. Never liked demons.
-- walker on 1/7/2014 6:31:28 PM with a score of 0
(Spoiler) Can I not fuck her and kill her instead? If not, why couldn't leave her alive? Following my picks the story ended after 2 actual choices with a lot of reading which felt like a twisted pornographic fantasy
-- Name on 1/7/2014 5:31:55 PM with a score of 0
Before I begin, let me state two things:
1) I received Epilogue 11
2) This has been the most enthralling, moving, exciting, and otherwise excellent 'Create Your Own Adventure' that I've had the extreme pleasure to take part in, and I've only experienced *one* of the many branching paths.
Not only have I taken great personal pleasure from this spectacular story, but I've developed an entirely new view toward real-world events. The level of empathy, wit, realism, and reasonable premise within this story (which I honestly believe should be published in some form) was both stunning and seamless. One expects this form of writing to be limited, since the author's intentions are spread out between many alternate paths, but "Eternal" dashes that expectation. Bottom line, this is not only one book-like story, but many, and each of them made more personal because of the fact that you - the reader - brought them about. 8/8
-- UnholyQuilt on 1/5/2014 9:18:27 PM with a score of 0
I gave this a 7, because in my mind no story is ever perfect.
However, there are some things to take note of. I have read quite a few CYOA stories on this site, and this is the closest I've ever came to rating an 8. The story is superbly well written, with only minor typos and errors. The story was also very streamlined, and though some have complained that there are too few choices, ultimately the fluidity of the story is enough for the reader to break protocol and hit the back button to explore other options. The tale, in most cases, either continues or it does not.
As far as I have seen (I have only played one branch of the story) there has been only one "dead end", where no matter what choice you make the story ends. All in all, I cannot recommend this CYOA enough. I have played through the evil storyline (highly recommended for those enjoy a darker tale that follows the 'Villain') and cannot wait to try out the 'good' branch.
-- Bill on 1/5/2014 2:56:17 AM with a score of 0
Great game took alot of time though lol but i wanted to fight edward
-- jt lynn on 1/4/2014 4:00:52 PM with a score of 0
it's a nice story. :P
-- joy on 1/2/2014 11:11:20 PM with a score of 0
I've lost plenty of sleep on this story. Time we'll spent on a wonderful and tragic story.
on 12/29/2013 7:14:17 AM with a score of 0
amazing,just amazing and i got awesome ending 2
-- gina on 12/27/2013 1:48:08 AM with a score of 0
This story is literally amazing in so many ways that can't be summed up. I wasn't the reader in it, I was the main character with all the decisions, thought processes and feelings. I sincerely thank the author for making this unique experience possible for me and making this story accessable to the public. I would definitely buy the book if it is ever published. Once again, many thanks!
on 12/25/2013 12:35:29 PM with a score of 0
Well, look at all the messed up people around the place, little short balled dwarf people with mad scientist dreams, Jenasidal Gnomes, and to top it all off we got a dark elf who can't let go of her kid after 5 centuries. It was a vary good story line, Wish there could be more of them, but a story can only have so many branches. Mabie more books with the protagonist causing mayhem on a grand scale? That always cheers me up if I am in a bad mood.
-- walker on 12/23/2013 6:24:29 AM with a score of 0
What the hell is alteraeon? Seriously never heard of it.
on 12/22/2013 4:25:11 AM with a score of 0
Wow, so long rofl. I played through this without once saving, and I got to the year 566, I'm not sure if that's the farthest you can get, but I enjoyed it. Nice plot, a few typos and misnaming, but that's to be expected with such a complex storyline. Overall, I'd say it was very well done. A few of the spells made me smirk as I noticed some of them come from alteraeon, so a few points lost for that one, but not many.
-- Sneak on 12/22/2013 12:11:18 AM with a score of 0
One of the great ones
on 12/19/2013 9:16:43 AM with a score of 0
easily one of the best i have read..probably even better..
on 12/19/2013 7:48:36 AM with a score of 0
Story has an incredible span, and a wonderfully obscene amount of detail. Top honors because of the work put into it, and the enjoyment I got from reading it. Don't often get to play a lawful evil character. Would have liked more of a reasoned choice in some cases. Those seemed to hinge on luck, instead of character truth or logic.
-- notled on 12/17/2013 12:25:46 PM with a score of 0
Fire a bolt at the mage
on 12/15/2013 12:48:37 PM with a score of 0
I have already read through Eternal once. Because it was so good I wanted to experience the same story twice, just to relive the awesomeness and all the memories that came with it. What I instead got was a completely different story with a totally different take on being an eternal. I have never been so impressed with an interactive story such as this and never so engulfed. When the story was over, a part of me cried for leaving the world of this adventure.
In perhaps a month or two, I'll visit Eternal once again, probably just to experience a completely different story that entices me to the bone.
-- Framer on 12/14/2013 10:03:45 PM with a score of 0
Epilogue 10: Eternal hero.
That really was a long one. Excellent story and chartacters though, so many twists.
on 12/12/2013 6:41:56 PM with a score of 0
...this was a very long story... but god i loved it!
on 12/12/2013 10:33:43 AM with a score of 0
I left a legacy of destruction yet this writer creates one of horror, amazement and a realistic fantasy
-- Krieginphern on 12/11/2013 1:24:16 PM with a score of 0
Although the "wrong" choices you made throughout the game ended badly, the storyline on its own was very unique and inspiring.Thanks for writing and sharing this!
-- jeroen jansen on 12/10/2013 10:08:31 AM with a score of 0
Long live the empire
-- Christopher on 12/9/2013 4:08:12 PM with a score of 0
epic game! epic story! everyone should give this a go!
on 12/8/2013 7:01:12 PM with a score of 0
Just got the eternal hero ending. Gosh that's rewardng, even though I do dislike the cataclysm arc. I won't spoil anything though. Time to dive back in!!
on 12/6/2013 5:38:10 PM with a score of 0
Awesome story. Incredibly long, and very nicely detailed.
I just got to Epilogue 11, the first I've found, and it already seems like the best end to me. Have to admit I'm a little disappointed, because while I'm definately going to go and find them all, I've heard that the soldier path is the least 'douchbag' of the three, and I prefer to find all the Bad Ends first.
None the less, this has provided me with several hours of entertainment, and will do so again when I try the other two Paths.
Now for some critique;
- Description and dialogue was not always clear and concise. Sometimes I'd have difficulty determining who was speaking, or a character would seemingly appear from nowhere.
- A related peeve is that people tended to ramble and re-cover the same ground a lot in conversations, as well as the... I don't know what to call it, tone maybe? For instance the Emperor talks very casually in all situations, as do others; including the main character, even after several changes in status. While it fit some situations, in others it was by turns jarring and amusing.
- Choices or path branches likewise had the occasional problem. I can see why the branches are usually quite 'macro-scale' choices (ie, choose A or B, rather than A and take item X or whatever) considering just how big this work is already, but that doesn't mean I wasn't annoyed by it at times. I also accept that the CYOA genre means there'll be instant death around every other corner, but sometimes the ends felt a little too random (ie, choosing to end a negotiation by telling them outright you plan to crush them, then just turning and walking away while under the watch of their entire army).
- Hmm, those are only problems I can remember at the moment. While it would be nice to be able to open branches in new windows or tabs, I'm not a member and haven't seen how the save feature compares, so that might just be my own fault.
Criticisms aside, this is by far the best CYOA I've ever read (including your others), I got engaged in the characters and story, and if a work like this was published I'd actually buy it. And I don't bother to buy most things.
Thank you and good luck with your writing.
-- killfr3nzy on 12/6/2013 9:16:14 AM with a score of 0
I think I like one where the soilder better because you are less of a duchebag but I like meeting the others endings
-- Liam on 12/5/2013 9:48:16 PM with a score of 0
it was good
on 12/3/2013 10:41:20 AM with a score of 0
I loved it. The death flags weren't apparent to me but I had a good time.
-- Kid on 11/30/2013 7:05:43 PM with a score of 0
on 11/30/2013 1:36:00 AM with a score of 0
Great game period
on 11/29/2013 3:44:01 PM with a score of 0
I literally spent the whole night reading this, and I still don't think I've gotten all the endings yet. A can of redbull to my left and a bag of Doritos to my right, it's time to dive right back in!
on 11/29/2013 11:25:05 AM with a score of 0
Really engrossing. The best online chooseyourown book i've read. Got the Eternal Hero & Eternal destroyer endings. Would've definitely have paid for this 10/10
-- John Doe on 11/26/2013 6:08:03 AM with a score of 0
Finally! I have been waiting for the 3rd branch of "Eternal" since I first found this site, and now I finished it. Almost everything about it is outstanding, from the way The EndMaster incorporates (or at least implies) "Necromancer" into the story as well as tying everything about the world/story/events together; a rare but yet extremely fulfilling experience that cannot be found in the traditional style of storytelling.
I swear, if this was published (although that would be another story/challenges entirely), I would buy this in an instant, not only because it'd be easier to convince others this style is a legitimate way of storytelling, but also as a way to pay The EndMaster for his time and effort into making something memorable. This is the first for me to feel like donating money for something that's free entertainment.
The only criticism I'd give is the somewhat minor errors in grammar and "exrta" words left in sentences that clearly aren't suppose to be there. Another look into the parts of the story branch that leads to the 13th ending will show what I am talking about. As for the other parts of the whole story, I'm unsure if this is as noticeable as it's been almost a year since I've read the first 2 branches of "Eternal".
I have much more to say but that would take up the comments page so I'll end it with this; "Eternal" is one the best. It deserves its 8/8 from me in my book; it truly "enlightened me" to this way of storytelling and makes me wish these kind of "books" were mainstream or had a much larger following. Despite being one of the first "choose your story" I've ever read, I haven't found anything close to The EndMaster's stories, especially "Eternal" and probably will be for a long time.
on 11/26/2013 2:11:14 AM with a score of 0
Amazing game, obviously a lot of grammar flas, but an amazing read. The ending is seriously amazing, I practically teared up. Lol. I'm just glad I chose "die" over "beg", though it was a hard choice... I kind of want to play through again with the same choices just to see how the "beg" ending scenario turns out.
Over all, an amazing story, you can tell you worked extremely hard to write the novel, and you poured your heart into it. Honestly, this is one of the best books I've ever had the privilege of reading. Thank you for this.
-- Sid on 11/24/2013 12:29:11 AM with a score of 0
That's the second arc of the story I got the Epilogue to. And it was great. Struggle. EndMaster you did as wonderfully as I've come to expect from you. This game is one of my favorite stories in all of literature, and now I'm going to go back and do it all over again and see if I can change the outcome to something else. That's what I love about you, the replayability of your games. I know I missed something... well, looks like I gotta go find it. Right on bro.
on 11/21/2013 3:20:11 PM with a score of 0
Amazing game. I got the Eternal Hero ending, and I have to say I really enjoyed the same. My only complaint is that there didn't seem to be a way to keep Allison alive. :( Seriously a downer in the second half of the game.
Other than that, though, this 'verse is amazing and extremely super well written.
on 11/21/2013 2:38:38 PM with a score of 0
This is excellent. this story game by far has the most content. this truly feels like a book,having so much character development and content.
on 11/21/2013 12:23:21 PM with a score of 0
The experiences between the three storylines are all fantastic. Semra, in particular, stands out to me as a unique character. I wish there could be an epilogue in which you helped her become normal again—I tried every possible outcome in being with her, and they all led to my death.
The most real endings, to me, are Eternal Survivor and Eternal Harbinger.
on 11/18/2013 1:08:11 AM with a score of 0
EndMaster, years from now when you leave this site, people will continue to remember your stories. Over time, people will make stories about YOU. Some may be true, some may be outright lies, some may be a little bit of both, but one thing is certain, and that you are and always will be ETERNAL. (Sorry, I just had to do it....)
on 11/16/2013 7:06:05 PM with a score of 0
I just finished Eternal Hero Epilogue - only 12 left, YAY! =P. Seriously though, I hope I never finish all the epilogues, I don't want the story to end it's just too well done and the humor is spectacular! 8/8 For you, Mr. Endmaster!
on 10/31/2013 9:29:37 PM with a score of 0
Awesome story, really liked it, kept my interest for some time, i hope there will be a new story as good as this one ^_^
on 10/29/2013 5:37:00 PM with a score of 0
Best story(but I wanted a Mistress good ending too)
on 10/26/2013 6:34:24 PM with a score of 0
I got teary eyed at the ending. BRAVO!
on 10/25/2013 11:53:33 PM with a score of 0
Great story, very well written. Good job!
on 10/24/2013 5:00:47 PM with a score of 0
Amazing, although a bit dark at times, still an absolutely amazing story that I believe almost anyone would enjoy. :)
on 10/22/2013 7:25:53 PM with a score of 0
Very well written and intriguing.
-- Mike on 10/20/2013 4:08:52 PM with a score of 0
Wow. Just... Wow.
Finally finished all 13 endings of the story (As well as the unofficial "Eternal Bliss" and "Eternal Torment" endings) and I have to say, that was amazing.
Your story was long, well thought out, well planned, well written, and most of all, touching. When I went through the shadow path and became the eternal terror, I could feel the thirst for power in the eternal, I could feel his desperate desire to "ascend". As the eternal patriot, I felt the nostalgia of the old warrior as he tried to bring back his precious empire.
Throughout the True Eternal path, I felt how he struggled with Semra, I knew of the loss he felt when he killed Kane, I understood why he did what he did, and his confusion. I felt the despair that I knew he would feel when he saw his empire expanding, with so many new lands to conquer, but he just grew older and older, his bones aching, with no heir to replace him (Not that any heir would ever have given him what he wanted in ruling the empire. He never wanted his place to be taken)
As the Eternal destroyer, I felt how the Eternal grew tired, how he felt beaten down by his life, how he wanted to just let go.
As the Harbringer, I went through the loss of everything that made the eternal who he was, I read as his friends, everyone who he loved, everyone who gave him meaning died. I felt his despair when the world was dying, I knew his fear when death faced him, I saw what was left of him die when he killed Semra, everything about him ending in that last, death-filled kiss, becoming nothing but an empty shell filled with the desire for war and destruction.
I could go on for the others, but you undoubtedly already know how he felt, and i've gone into enough description already.
This was an incredible story, something I think of myself as privileged to have read. I have to thank you for giving me the chance to go through this, to read this, to feel as the eternal did, to see his life fly past my eyes.
I sincerely hope that you will continue writing in the future, because I think I can only think of about 3-4 authors i've actually read from - and these are actual, real life authors who have sold books and are famous - that have written anything that I have ever found as exciting and enticing as this story was, and I would hate to never read another of your works.
Congratulations, Endmaster. It was a pleasure. :)
on 10/20/2013 12:31:44 PM with a score of 0
The story was really well written. The combat and magical details were good. The characters were well defined.
-- Kevin on 10/18/2013 9:32:08 PM with a score of 0
i started to feel like the options were a mete point and not being able to take things further when there was an obvious attempt to make the mistress encounters sexual felt like a waste.
-- Nored on 10/18/2013 4:25:06 PM with a score of 0
Nice expansion. I would have liked to see the Eternal kill Semra with her dagger (and maybe beat her up) AND live happily ever after with his other lover...
-- Cyberpunker on 10/17/2013 6:51:11 AM with a score of 0
A great piece of work. More reading than choosing though. Really immerses you in the story and the world. One heck of a long run yet never boring.
on 10/16/2013 1:13:52 AM with a score of 0
-- Leek on 10/15/2013 11:21:20 PM with a score of 0
A great and wonderful game with many stories. Managed to get all the epilogues, altough I still haven't found the baby throwing scenes and livling with the Svelk.
-- Eternal Eternal on 10/15/2013 1:49:09 PM with a score of 0
Harbringer, Destroyer, Paragon, Hero, Emperor, Bliss with Alison, did I miss anything else?
on 10/13/2013 5:40:15 PM with a score of 0
I have Paragon, Hero, Emperor, Destroyer.
Are there any more?
on 10/13/2013 5:21:12 PM with a score of 0
I've replayed this game more than twenty times and still haven't got the final ending. Some day...
-- LoneWolf on 10/13/2013 3:01:28 PM with a score of 0
just spent my hole day to finish one of the branches after struggling. it was totally worth it.
-- Belhergor on 10/11/2013 5:21:18 PM with a score of 0
One of the best stories I've come across so far, really big in scope and definitely worth the time in my opinion.
Writing is top-notch too - I really can't find any negatives with this story. Definitely try it out if you can
-- Anon on 10/3/2013 4:42:24 PM with a score of 0
Absolutely wonderful, took me a few tries to get the epilogue, but overall it was a womb to tomb journey. Beautiful.
on 9/25/2013 9:11:44 AM with a score of 0
Wow. That was an experience.
This is a well-thought out story, with depth and texture, that makes you look at things from a new perspective. It's not a happy story, but it certainly makes me happy that this level of writing exists on this site. Play it.
on 9/24/2013 5:09:36 PM with a score of 0
SEQUEL SEQUEL SEQUEL SEQUEL SEQUEL!
-- GiaZera on 9/22/2013 11:40:04 PM with a score of 0
Such a good storyline with great immersion that with the little amount of choices there are,and the length. I don't even care. And the length made it better! Keep making more stories! :D
-- Epic Reader on 9/22/2013 10:23:28 PM with a score of 0
Incredible story! I'm going to play again
-- V on 9/21/2013 8:15:54 PM with a score of 0
Great story and lore
on 9/14/2013 11:45:15 PM with a score of 0
Very intriguing. I will endeavor to play this again. A few spelling errors thus far though, but thanks for an intriguing game.
-- johndy on 9/14/2013 2:54:22 PM with a score of 0
This was a very good story, though I would have liked more choices. But I'm used to playing games like D&D and not as used to choose your story games so maybe this is normal.
on 9/4/2013 8:04:38 AM with a score of 0
Being morally aligned ends the game quickly and with little enjoyment.
on 8/27/2013 3:34:53 AM with a score of 0
As is par for the course, This story is amazing. The grand scope of everything involved is breathtaking, and the fact you are not finished is even greater! My story ended with me living in the Felkan territory after being a shadow. Kind of wish there was more to it than the abrupt ending but, after all that was involved in getting there it was worth it. Can't wait for my next play through :)
on 8/20/2013 10:25:42 AM with a score of 0
I think I got the best ending.
I just wished in my ending, Dendrin and I could have parted as friends, but ah well.
One of the best stories I've read. Brilliant, awesome, 10/10. (Well, 8/8 really)
on 8/14/2013 1:38:51 PM with a score of 0
Great marathon of a story!
Loved the setting and by the end I felt enlightened myself! haha
-- David on 8/13/2013 6:16:34 PM with a score of 0
Thts one cool story
-- josh on 8/13/2013 5:49:33 AM with a score of 0
This was my second time to play through eternal. It's still 8/8, and I ended with the eternal Messiah epilogue this time around. Definitely looking forward to playing through it in the future to read the other paths.
on 8/10/2013 11:57:07 AM with a score of 0
Goddamn! Endmaster has done it once again! Although this one is MUCH longer than Necromancer and Death Song, it still holds the power of such graphic and vivid story telling to draw me in.
My first 'completed' play-through was the 'Shadow' path, and I have to say, Dendrin was great, I loved how my character was this embittered veteran, cynical, but a believer of the good in humanity at heart. Not to mention an epic badass!
This game is so insanely big that it blows my mind. If you haven't played it I recommend you do, and if you have and gotten one of the 'true endings' post your results and feelings about them!
-Endmaster, you dog, Keep up the good work. Although I personally think you have out done yourself. (8 different 'good' endings? Christ, man!) I can tell that you really do put story first. When I was playing it I felt at times like it was a beautifully crafted novel. This is writing in its finest form. (P.S, would you be willing to look over some of my own writings? There Sh**, but getting feedback on them would be great, thank you.)
BRAVO AND ENCORE, ENCORE!
-- Who really cares? on 8/10/2013 7:36:14 AM with a score of 0
Great reflections about power dynamics and machiavellism,
spent a whole afternoon to get to the "Eternal Terror" epilogue! Thank you!
on 8/9/2013 2:15:20 PM with a score of 0
Amazing. Simply amazing. You should publish it.
-- Fan on 8/8/2013 3:57:02 PM with a score of 0
The story makes you think of all sides of the conflict, and how death is always tragic, no matter who is killed
on 8/1/2013 10:50:20 AM with a score of 0
I enjoyed playing it a few times through, It was great inspiration and excellent writing. My only regret was finding 100 ways to die before I got to the epilogue, and even that was fun.
on 7/29/2013 4:43:13 AM with a score of 0
Got Eternal Bane epilogue after hours. Worth it
-- Garfeels on 7/28/2013 8:08:54 AM with a score of 0
Take note people, THIS is how you write a story. I didnt make it too long into the story but it was still longer than 70% of the stories on here.
on 7/25/2013 5:10:17 AM with a score of 0
It was hard to live to the epilogue, but I got the eternal patriot and was very pleased with it. I wish I could give it a better rating, but sadly it did not give me enlightenment that I didn't already have. I have become a fan of this author and the inspiration is all worthwhile.
-- Paul on 7/22/2013 6:51:16 PM with a score of 0
Brilliant!! I feel your storytelling talents border on genius. I love your depiction of Dendrin. An enlightening view of how god might work.... Besides the story and theme is so much fun!
-- Darrell on 7/22/2013 2:50:58 PM with a score of 0
Given the rating system I could only give eternal a 6, as there is not much in this world that is better than Reese's. :] I do believe eternal is amazing though and cannot imagine how much work you put into it. After a little over four hours, I finished with the eternal survivor epilogue. That in itself was an awesome story, but I can still look forward to coming back to eternal, and enjoying it all anew. Awesome job. I truly appreciate all the work you put into this.
-- Donald on 7/21/2013 6:18:59 AM with a score of 0
Even though the ending obvious from the beginning, it was still a ride.
on 7/19/2013 4:09:34 PM with a score of 0
Amazing!!!! Idk how many hours it took but I couldn't take myself away from the story. When you think it's over, a few years pass show up, atleast how I played lol. I wish it kept going lol. Yes there were spelling mistakes but with the length and overall amazing story, I forgot all about those mistakes. A true gem in it's category but also on the site.
on 7/18/2013 6:32:11 PM with a score of 0
Wow. Beautiful scenario with breath-taking twists. Each path of the story more desirable than the other.
-- Mark on 7/16/2013 8:20:29 AM with a score of 0
This story is so good, a movie should be made on it.. Superb, fantastic, mindblowing.. I really loved the story.
on 7/16/2013 3:36:33 AM with a score of 0
Wow, that was amazing! I got the Eternal Survivor epilogue. I will definitely replay this in the future to see where other paths may lead me...
on 7/14/2013 9:23:12 AM with a score of 0
-- Rowler on 7/9/2013 12:29:15 AM with a score of 0
No they can't and fuck you. Lol.
on 7/3/2013 8:06:01 PM with a score of 0
The story is very well written, but to me, there's too much strong swearing and current curse words (dick, fucking etc.). They can all be replaced with more fitting words and then there would be nothing to break the climate of the story:)
-- Maciej on 7/3/2013 2:07:50 PM with a score of 0
Way to make me almost cry you jackass. Seriously though, LOVE this story. Ty for writing it.
-- DarkPie on 7/1/2013 1:39:03 PM with a score of 0
Your stories, at least the ones I have done up til now, have always hit home with me a little. I can't help but feel for all the characters you write about- they're very well done.
-- DarkPie on 6/29/2013 1:28:52 PM with a score of 0
Epic story. Full of intrigue. The profanity seemed unnecessary, and there are a few spelling errors. Still, a very fun read.
on 6/22/2013 2:50:56 PM with a score of 0
Played quite a few games on here and this one has truely been the best. Well written, good story. If you only play one game on this site make it this one
on 6/21/2013 3:49:05 PM with a score of 0
An amazing read the first time through. I am not sure how the story goes if you choose to be a soldier instead of rushing the portal in the beginning, but I intend to find out next. Some spelling errors, but nothing to keep me from giving it the highest rating!
-- Bill on 6/20/2013 1:20:37 PM with a score of 0
I've just finished the "Die" storyline, and what a storyline it was! Fantastic lol Off to start on the other branch now :)
on 6/18/2013 12:48:04 PM with a score of 0
Excellent story! I read this and I never wanted it to end! Y only disappointment was that it had ended in both ways. I wanted to bring down the new eternals and prove that I still have skill.
-- Chris on 6/18/2013 12:19:43 PM with a score of 0
GREAT READ. You are awesome.
-- Cyberpunker on 6/11/2013 2:58:00 PM with a score of 0
Normally, I'd go on a rant critiquing the plot, development, word choice, and whatnot. This time, however, I'll just use three words to describe this story: mistake makes perfection.
on 6/10/2013 10:43:14 PM with a score of 0
I really liked this one! I got the Shadow Survivor ending, great storytelling!
on 6/10/2013 5:44:41 PM with a score of 0
Absolutely enthralling. You will experience various mindsets and will be forced to analyze your own morality throughout the story. Truly an epic adventure!
on 6/9/2013 5:01:29 PM with a score of 0
Fucking brilliant. Very long though so don't play it unless your up for a while of enjoyment.
-- Toby Biggsy on 6/8/2013 4:38:30 PM with a score of 0
I made it through as the Bane of Rask I absolutly loved the ending great story.
on 6/7/2013 2:40:55 PM with a score of 0
A splendid piece of work. Most of the endings I received on my handful of play-throughs weren't exactly -happy-, but all of it was well-writing, interesting, and engaging.
on 6/6/2013 3:36:54 AM with a score of 0
Normally, I'd go on a rant critiquing the plot, development, word choice, and whatnot. This time, however, I'll just use three words to describe this story: mistake makes perfection.
-- Sean on 6/2/2013 6:45:26 PM with a score of 0
-- anom on 6/1/2013 1:25:57 PM with a score of 0
Bloody brilliant. I got eternal messiah, fuck yeah.
-- lolhai on 5/28/2013 2:23:53 PM with a score of 0
Great Story I chose the path of the Empire
on 5/27/2013 3:33:22 PM with a score of 0
on 5/25/2013 3:16:45 PM with a score of 0
That was a really epic story! It took me a couple of weeks to finish it, but I'm glad I did. I got a really good ending =) Great job on this!
on 5/21/2013 12:56:05 PM with a score of 0
well i wasnt gonna let get gerald get fucked
-- will on 5/17/2013 8:13:15 PM with a score of 0
This was very good. Quite long, but I was invested in the story despite it being a bit different than my usual tastes. This was my first story on this site and I'm happy to say I will stick around for some more
on 5/15/2013 3:14:23 AM with a score of 0
Went down the path of the Shadows to the epilogue. It was quite enjoyable to read and amusing to follow the story of someone who had the same view of his God as I have of mine (not that bit in the epilogue itself though). Wonderfully done and I'm sure I will revisit this tale.
-- Aetrun on 5/9/2013 12:27:37 AM with a score of 0
I really loved this story and all the different twists and turns it had. I found it really complex and engaging. I also found myself going back many times into the story just so I could learn how things would have turned out differently. The only problem I had with the story is that I sometimes felt like I wasn't aloud to make choices where there were some. I would recommend this story to anyone but I also feel like it could have had a few more paths through some of the choices that weren't presented.
-- Ryan on 5/4/2013 4:46:15 PM with a score of 0
Really cool, got eternal survivor ending, woot! If you wanna get this ending, you become a shadow, later on tell cyrus and talia about disbelief, tell your friend to get shadow assistance, talia helps, find the old temple, then save lena, but don't become involved with her after the first time, then look after her daughter. :)
-- HannAh on 5/1/2013 8:14:44 AM with a score of 0
Wow. Just...wow. I'd like it if you had an option to be female, and I thought that later in the story, the character would be able to settle down and have a family, and play that out, and that would be cool, but this story is amazing. Occasional grammar but otherwise flipping awesome!
-- Dan the Awesome on 4/28/2013 12:05:29 PM with a score of 0
on 4/27/2013 4:26:46 PM with a score of 0
I got the "Synonymous to Terror" epilogue.
Meh, i can't name such an epic ending a good one.
on 4/24/2013 12:02:08 PM with a score of 0
2nd play-through was awesome.
on 4/23/2013 10:06:25 PM with a score of 0
Very engaging story. Light on game mechanics, but it's essentially story-telling.
on 4/23/2013 3:43:44 AM with a score of 0
I played four times in different ways and all endings were good.
on 4/19/2013 5:27:28 PM with a score of 0
Awesome story! I loved the necromancer too, but i think this is even better. I couldn't put it down and I'm really looking forward to re-starting again and seeing where different choices lead me. Thank you!
-- PV on 4/19/2013 12:49:30 PM with a score of 0
Wow... Just, wow.... This is by far one of the most gripping stories I've ever read... And I've only gone through it once! Going for a secpnd run tomorrow, and I just know I won't be dissapointed... Just wow
on 4/18/2013 12:25:07 AM with a score of 0
Wow thats amazing game,and i archieved the best epiloge.And its just like i wanted."Whether you were trying to or not, you achieved immortality and will remain ETERNAL".Thank you for the game))
on 4/17/2013 3:58:44 PM with a score of 0
This was a great story to read! I just got the Eternal Shadow ending. This is definitely worth reading/playing again!
-- DK on 4/13/2013 10:45:46 PM with a score of 0
I made up three endings:for being loayal to empire,for being a scavenger in grounded temple and for defeating Dendrem.Fuck yeah it was quiet entertaining))
on 4/11/2013 8:04:08 AM with a score of 0
Two words. In Love.
on 4/11/2013 1:11:55 AM with a score of 0
Truly an epic worthy of record. It gave me that buzzed feeling that comes only from great novels and series. Well written, and you care about the characters, their motivations, and even when they fall. A must read/play.
on 4/10/2013 11:52:27 PM with a score of 0
Once again, I am truly impressed with the epic scale of your stories, keep up the good work!
on 4/9/2013 11:46:42 PM with a score of 0
I love the multiple endings, have played it a lot for a week ;). However maybe if you could survive the shadow gaurd temple it would be better!
-- To,Munro on 4/9/2013 1:50:55 PM with a score of 0
that was fantastic, i was drawn in the whole time really connected didnt so much feel like it was me but a part of me from a time long past. greatly written
-- brandon on 4/8/2013 10:16:15 PM with a score of 0
interesting story, kinda scary.
-- Jizzle on 4/8/2013 12:17:10 PM with a score of 0
I didn't get very far. Seeing as I would never leave anyone behind to get violated against their will, but all I can say from my reading. is its a really dark story and even though I'm on the fence of trying to get through the whole thing. I think I'm emotionally scarred enough, really great story. It inspired alot of feelings in me and I barely knew any of my fellow Eternals for every long and I was compelled to not let any harm come to any of them.
on 4/7/2013 5:50:48 AM with a score of 0
on 4/4/2013 2:40:03 AM with a score of 0
Best game I've played on this site - it was what got me to sign up for the site in the first place :)
The plotline was detailed and engaging, the characters were really well developed and the whole thing was superbly written - some of the endings were really touching.
The only thing that could possibly be improved was that it was slightly lacking in the number of choices, although the story more than makes up for it.
Overall, an epic storygame that got me completely hooked from beginning to end, and something that I would strongly recommend to any reader :) 8/8
on 4/3/2013 6:55:09 AM with a score of 0
The story and writing was all excellent, as previous reviewers have said, but every page had only one "correct" path. Going the other path had the character doing things that would clearly lead to an ending, not every piece of which I would have chosen, if I'd had a choice... it didn't seem like there was much choosing to the story. Doesn't make it a bad story though -- it's a very rich world :3
on 3/31/2013 2:18:29 PM with a score of 0
good story...too long too read though..i ended up skimming..needs more romance
-- kenz on 3/29/2013 9:06:36 PM with a score of 0
awesome game, I really like it. It a shame that we can't fine captain krager in the way and married with her, this will be awesome for me.
on 3/25/2013 11:04:39 AM with a score of 0
Just WOW!!! Once I started, I couldn't stop anymore and just finished it with the "good" ending^^. Great Job, one of the best I've read/played so far!
-- Philipp on 3/23/2013 8:15:37 PM with a score of 0
Superb work. Although I enjoyed Ground Zero more, because of its more "personal" storyline (Eternal is much more epic, which is both good and bad, depending on how you look at it), I'm giving this one a higher rating because of the mind-boggling effort on your part. It's long, it's engaging and it's satisfying. I will gladly check the other endings later :).
Anyway, while I'm definitely impressed, I think that it would be much cooler if in some (some, not all!) of your future storygames you offered the player more options per segment. Not just A or B (and sometimes one of these is just a dead-end...), but ABCD or sth. The segments would probably have to be shorter, but that would be ok, as the ones you make tend to be very long and so much stuff is happening that they could be turned into separate stories, heh. Give the player more control, in a RPG-like fashion. Cheers.
on 3/23/2013 4:26:28 PM with a score of 0
EndMaster, you are a magician - that is the only explanation as to how you could possibly have created a story of such quality entertainment & suspense that it rivals an afternoon watching "The Godfather"! Complete your additional link, then, for the sake of us all, please, create more games of this quality!
on 3/16/2013 3:55:26 PM with a score of 0
Damned, yet another ending :-)
A good one.
on 3/9/2013 12:26:05 PM with a score of 0
Dawn and you lovingly wandering.
This story got so meany different endings, all wonderful.
on 3/9/2013 10:04:00 AM with a score of 0
Man, finally did the shadow order version of the story all the way to his death.
And I must say, I'm impressed. :-)
on 3/8/2013 9:33:07 AM with a score of 0
Eternal Patriot. I'll be content on this ending. I really love this. :D
on 3/7/2013 9:40:36 PM with a score of 0
Thanks, that was just GREAT.
on 3/7/2013 12:14:02 PM with a score of 0
"Long live the empire"...
Nice story, emotional actually even though I suspect that what I've found isn't the "true" story that you intended to convey.
Going to have a look at the other versions later :-)
on 3/7/2013 8:23:23 AM with a score of 0
Eternal Survivor ending. You do not want to know how long it took me but it was well worth it.
on 3/6/2013 6:51:32 PM with a score of 0
well-worded and powerful
on 2/27/2013 6:02:04 PM with a score of 0
One of the most amazing choose your own story games I've ever played. It was like a novel rather than a game. Keep playing until you reach the eternal epilogue!
-- Dpt on 2/27/2013 2:56:54 PM with a score of 0
Pretty awesome, though pretty linear. I could see a very Game of Thrones style book being made out of this following individual characters as chapter headings.
Cover to Cover in one sitting, including side branches.
-- Robert on 2/26/2013 11:17:55 PM with a score of 0
What an awesome story, i was struck speechless! Please everybody who reads this comment before playing, it's worth every damn minute.
on 2/26/2013 2:32:41 PM with a score of 0
Somehow I completely missed the "Lena" path after I thought I had gotten all endings. But then I found my favorite ending of the whole game by going back through to make sure I didn't miss something. All in all, this is a brilliant piece of work, and I would even venture to say EndMaster could probably get published, with the aid of a good editor, if he hasn't already.
on 2/23/2013 2:17:31 PM with a score of 0
You missed Eternal Patriot. You get it in the same path where you help Brenda.
on 2/18/2013 10:36:44 PM with a score of 0
Fascinating game! I enjoy the mix of politics, religion, relationships,etc...Feel so emotionally tired after each epilogue. Ive unlocked 7 epilogues - 3 shadow ones and 4 soldier ones (warrior, couple, bane, savior). what's the last one? so frustrated. i thought it was the one in which the shadow master killed all shadows in a ritual but apparently there's only 3 shadow epilogues.
-- zeewonka on 2/18/2013 12:14:17 PM with a score of 0
I feel le try down I saved the empire and theykille D's m
on 2/13/2013 9:28:29 PM with a score of 0
Wow. Just...wow. I was intrigued through most of the story, but I finally reached an ending that hit me emotionally. Brilliant work, even with the few errors in spelling, punctuation, and missing words.
on 2/10/2013 7:54:50 PM with a score of 0
This was My second playthrough and damn, the replay valde on that story..
This time I chose a different path which contredicts a point of my previous comment on from my first playthrough. Long story if you reach the epiloge (I've reached two different epiloges, both "touching"), very interesting characters and a mix of romance. You don't have much choice regarding the romance though, depending on your choices which doesn't really mention potential partners, the story "asigns" you one.. Anyway fantastic story, thank you for sharing it! Love from Sweden!
-- Jonathan on 2/7/2013 11:13:33 AM with a score of 0
This is one of the best stories I've read yet. I have just recently returned to this site, and I don't know if you are still actively writing stories, but if you are, I urge you to continue. Your stories are some of the best I've read, both on this site and in actual print.
on 2/6/2013 5:15:10 PM with a score of 0
Wow, this is ond of those stories you both love and hate.. Although I loath how things pan out, I get blurry eyes of tears. The story touched me emotionally even though in My playthrough there were no romance worth mentioning. Highly recomend "Eternal", even though it left me with mixed feelings.
-- Jonathan on 2/6/2013 4:37:48 PM with a score of 0
A great game although it seemed like I didnt have much choice in who I want to serve. The game seems to make me want to serve the empire and not the eternals
on 1/31/2013 6:10:11 PM with a score of 0
Great, just great.
on 1/29/2013 2:55:53 PM with a score of 0
this is the best game on this site that i have played so far. 8/8
-- Big B on 1/28/2013 10:43:59 PM with a score of 0
hit on so many emotional levels, connected with me on a personal level. Obviously no replay value but still the first time is the best time
-- Kaiser on 1/28/2013 4:00:20 AM with a score of 0
Really good! A rich story, characters and also significant choices.
on 1/27/2013 4:35:57 PM with a score of 0
Fantastic game, very believable story. My one complaint is how the silted the dialogue between Talia and the main character was. The way they entered into a romance was very peculiar.
Other than that, I absolutely enjoyed the journey throughout the ranks of the shadow.
on 1/27/2013 3:16:58 PM with a score of 0
Cool game. It actually made me think whos side I was on. Dendrins or the emperors. Well done
-- Thanks on 1/27/2013 2:40:08 PM with a score of 0
Wow . . . Once again EXCELLENT Work Loved all of it and got a very rich experience
-- Mahdel on 1/26/2013 8:00:21 PM with a score of 0
Can someone turn this into a legit visual novel game like the one Japan makes?
It has to be done!
-- Tom L on 1/23/2013 7:09:17 PM with a score of 0
played this once more and still LOVE it , i unlocked my 3rd epilouge and this game still provides hours of fun
on 1/20/2013 1:49:02 PM with a score of 0
a depressing story, but amazing read non the less.
Is it werid that just by reading a story like this you get super despressed?
-- Tom on 1/17/2013 9:54:59 PM with a score of 0
-- brook on 1/17/2013 1:17:44 PM with a score of 0
Glorious!!! epic!!! revealing!! and purely inspired!!
-- Brenton on 1/16/2013 10:24:10 PM with a score of 0
Whoa, awesome paws! I died, though. :(
on 1/15/2013 8:01:10 PM with a score of 0
as anything made by endmaster this story was well thought out, very fun and, most of all BIG
i have been playing this for a good chunk of time and i wanna say i injoyed this alot. i kept playing and have unlocked eternal survior and terror both where very fun to read and both took me on a completly different jrouny.
-- brettthefox on 1/15/2013 4:01:28 PM with a score of 0
Too awesome. If that's even possible. Fave path game of all time!
on 1/13/2013 11:40:44 PM with a score of 0
Loved it loved it loved it!!! I didn't think this story would be as long as it was, but, just, WOW! I loved it, all of it! And I think I only made it through ONE of the story arches, assuming there is more than one. Can't wait to go through it again ^^
on 1/11/2013 1:04:03 AM with a score of 0
That was incredible.
on 1/3/2013 9:53:00 AM with a score of 0
amazing game! finished shadow story, not time to replay. excellent writing, im a huge fan of interactive fiction and this is my favorite of all time! do you have other stories? anything on the app market?
-- mark on 1/2/2013 12:26:57 AM with a score of 0
Ah it's been some time since I was here but the sheer magnificence of this story, my favorite story, by my favorite author, of course I will return and enjoy it just as much. The characters developed and were 3 dimensional in emotion and they all had actual motive apart from the typical "Oh i'll go on an adventure because I want to lie in bed with a hot chick" sort of thing and the detail and clarity is fantastic. All plot lines in this magnificently non-linear story are borderline perfect. The ONLY problem is the inevitable spelling/grammar errors but that didn't matter. 10/10 story keep it up Endmaster!
-- OmegaGoldfish on 12/30/2012 4:46:04 PM with a score of 0
Interesting story. Good job!
on 12/28/2012 3:11:33 AM with a score of 0
This is an absolutely amazing piece of work. It was the first storygame I played on this site and after a couple hours (trying to find all 8 endings, which I did - but like I said, it took hours...) I made a new chooseyourstory.com account. This storygame led me to many amazing others, so thank you :) I don't really think the lack of choices was a major problem, but maybe it would've been a bit better if you added some more. But that aside, this storygame is certainly one of the best on this site and I enjoyed it very much. (My initial as well as my favourite ending was the Eternal Bane one :)
on 12/28/2012 3:06:19 AM with a score of 0
HOLY SHIT is that an amazing story (or stories if you played the scenarios). 13 out of 10 by me
on 12/28/2012 1:48:26 AM with a score of 0
I love this Game.
The Story is well written and i love the plot.
iI hope to fnd more good games on this site and i hope that the Author will write more games.
on 12/27/2012 2:42:51 PM with a score of 0
I REALLY enjoyed this story! I got the Eternal ending, and I felt that it was really fitting to my character. Certainly one of the best stories I've ever played! Keep up the awesome work!
on 12/25/2012 7:21:01 PM with a score of 0
This is the best game I have ever played! The story is engaging and indepth, and the choices you make not only effect your life, but the lives of the entire game world! This is the kind of epic storytelling thst every game on this site should aspire to be! 8/8! You deserve it!
(I got the Eternal Terror ending)
on 12/20/2012 6:59:39 AM with a score of 0
To Drakilian: There are five soldier epilogues and three shadow ones. You got all the shadow ones, you just missed one of the soldier ones.
on 12/16/2012 2:05:35 PM with a score of 0
this is the seventh epilogue i've achieved and honestly, i think it is the last, there is only one alternate path left to take in the story and that is in the military, but i've alreaedy achieved 4 epilogues there, and it's probably inconsequential, but just so i know, could you tell me what shadow epilogue i'm missing? so far i have eternal survivor, and two others in which the shadows become assassins for hire and the shadows become the same as the original organization.
on 12/15/2012 2:41:40 AM with a score of 0
Excellent story! I died a sad death well into my twenties, but I loved the story none-the-less!
on 12/15/2012 12:12:22 AM with a score of 0
Very well written, this story really impressed me so thank you for putting in the amount it obviously took.
-- Pa on 12/9/2012 7:15:14 PM with a score of 0
Very fun story. I would rate it right under Necromancer. Good stuff.
-- Shadow on 12/6/2012 10:28:26 AM with a score of 0
I liked the storytelling, and the universe felt robust with hidden detail, but I might've liked more individual choices (Gender, race, etc.) I understand that these choices might not have been the most conducive to driving the plot that the author intended but, C'est la Guerre. I suppose ultimately I would have liked to see these options as a means of a more inclusive experience, but, one can't have everything.
-- Raven on 12/3/2012 3:54:42 AM with a score of 0
reached another epilogue, this time with the military, great ending
on 12/2/2012 10:14:49 PM with a score of 0
Wow! you have some serious talent (spoiler if u havent read it) I died when all of the shadows are dead and Mr. Mols guards kill me. I almost cried. not because I died, but because i was finished. Again, Wow! You are totally amazing!!!! :-)
-- me on 12/2/2012 2:53:11 AM with a score of 0
So far i have reached both of the ultimate shadow endings, (One where you are faithful to deverrin, and another where you destroy his influence over the shadow) and i have also reached the shadow traitor ending and i have to say, sir you are an excellent author, i can't even begin to imagine the amount of time it took you to do all of this, and that alone deserves my praise, but the quality of the story never veered of, the plot was intruiging, My only complaint is that i have no idea who the main character's name is. I didn't even notice it until recently and it, well, it somewhat blew my mind. I am curious though, it seems at times that you use synonyms to words that would honestly sound better if used in their original terms. For example: non-agression agreement. I mean, if you were trying to display a complete and utterly objectif point of view from a third person that somehow magically knows everything that happens here, then yes, this makes sense. Anyways that's all i have to sya, keep up the good work.
on 11/30/2012 11:23:42 PM with a score of 0
First game ever played on this website so far and I must say I'm impressed. The story was somewhat cliché but it all comes together at the end and now that I've found out there is a completely different story branch, I think I'm gonna go play it again. 8/8
on 11/30/2012 3:28:11 PM with a score of 0
My second ending. This just adds another level to this adventure. I achieved both extremes of the stories. I guess I will play it again some day to attempt the other 6. Thank you for this.
on 11/25/2012 12:25:43 PM with a score of 0
Choose your own death... late game it feels like 50/50 bs you die or don't. Needed less of that and more choice, good story though but slighlty disappointing with above said. Felt like a story told by author rather than choice.
-- Thorn on 11/21/2012 2:58:42 PM with a score of 0
That last comment obviously didn't do this justice. What an unreal work of art, there were times where I wasn't really feeling my character too much, I couldn't empathize for whatever reason but I never once felt like the world wasn't immersive. The scope of this storygame is out of this world.
on 11/21/2012 2:43:21 PM with a score of 0
Holy fuck that was a bastion of longness Jesus Christ fucking shit. Good though.
on 11/21/2012 1:48:13 AM with a score of 0
An epic and bloody tale. I actually began to care about my character and all the others, as well.
on 11/18/2012 12:58:17 PM with a score of 0
I got the 'Not Retiring, Eternal General ending', where I eventually died of old age. Have to say that tears almost welled up in my eyes while reading my ending, this game is definitely one of the best games on this website. Thanks for taking the time to make such an awesome game.
on 11/16/2012 8:26:47 PM with a score of 0
Well, that definitely brought a pretty different meaning to the term Atheism.
That was a compliment.
on 11/8/2012 11:45:07 AM with a score of 0
I Spent all night playing this game,had work to do, will most likely fail school, still worth it
-- Hellhound on 10/31/2012 2:59:44 AM with a score of 0
on 10/29/2012 9:25:42 PM with a score of 0
Wasn't sure about this game at first but it had me hooked by the end; well done.
on 10/28/2012 9:05:58 PM with a score of 0
nice. i am eternal after all lol
on 10/26/2012 2:17:13 PM with a score of 0
This is an awesome story, I enjoyed reading the story and making choices was just icing on the cake.
-- Seth on 10/22/2012 2:42:57 PM with a score of 0
i didnt like the story as much as necromancer, but it was a good idea. i really didnt like how short the branches were though on the story, im wondering if you couldn't think up any or if you just didnt bother? either way, it was a good read overall
-- jake tooze on 10/21/2012 10:28:21 PM with a score of 0
I enjoyed the story but the end sorta just petered out
on 10/21/2012 8:23:36 PM with a score of 0
As interesting as watching grass grow...
-- V370 on 10/17/2012 7:35:39 AM with a score of 0
i didnt like at all, maybe some people will enjoy it but it is not for me
-- jordan on 10/16/2012 12:06:39 PM with a score of 0
This was really good, I enjoyed it a lot! Lengthy, generally well written (occasional typo, but nothing confusing at all) and most importantly FUN!
-- Simmons on 10/11/2012 7:06:35 AM with a score of 0
8 endings. Done!
-- josh on 10/9/2012 9:14:01 PM with a score of 0
one of my favorite games i loved the little Easter egg about the necromancer at the end to by they way
on 10/9/2012 7:01:25 PM with a score of 0
This story was great!! Absolutely awesome!!
-- Dan on 10/7/2012 12:16:04 PM with a score of 0
(SPOILER ALERT) I wish there was a little more explanation on what happens if you go through the ritual at the end of the story.
-- Marcus Edholm on 10/4/2012 1:52:49 AM with a score of 0
Best Choose Your Own Story game ever!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I lived to be 101 years old and had the adventure of a lifetime.
Maybe the game can be improved a little bit by creating extra options within an epilogue, such as the choice to travel with Dendrin from plane to plane.
-- Hanan on 9/29/2012 10:25:48 PM with a score of 0
Best game here XD gotten the ending where i become god in the shadow line, and the eternal emperor in the eternal line...fn awesome good work!
on 9/28/2012 10:33:46 PM with a score of 0
I liked this game alot although although I did feel that control of my character was taken from me at times. For example when he suddenly decided to leave the empire. Other than that issue I found it marvelous.
on 9/25/2012 11:03:33 AM with a score of 0
Finally I have completed all 8 endings.
on 9/23/2012 1:25:17 AM with a score of 0
Note: I am Irongoldfish if you were curious about our similar titles.
This jewel of a story is a 100 out of 10.
-- Omegagoldfish on 9/20/2012 6:33:45 PM with a score of 0
Excellent plot,endings and the characters seemed like real people, I actually felt emotion while reading this fine example of what a blank template and a creative mind can do. Although there were grammar and spelling errors later on they are only natural for a work that long. With 4 epilogue endings I really felt I accomplished something. A 10 out of 10 just like everything Endmaster does,
I hope to see more of his work soon!
-- Omegagoldfish on 9/20/2012 6:27:30 PM with a score of 0
on 9/18/2012 3:38:59 PM with a score of 0
it was a amazing game well worth my time if it wasnt so long i would play it again
on 9/3/2012 12:35:17 AM with a score of 0
Where to begin? It was loooooong. But it always remained interesting. On this first play through I died as the last of the old shadows order. I find myself really connecting with the Eternal. I swear to Dendrin, this brought on a connection to my character that only Bioware has been able to consistently do for me in their games. I find myself being annoyed by certain characters, Cyrus and Talia, yet really still generally interested in their actions.
The only reason I didn't give a perfect score was because of your spacing. You kept the different dialogues way to close for me. More space between each change in speaker would have been appreciated.
-- Carlos on 8/28/2012 10:55:47 PM with a score of 0
Took me hours to finish and i liked that. it gave me a story of power and control. i rate it 9.3/10
on 8/24/2012 8:36:28 PM with a score of 0
First one I'v ever read, so bear that in mind.
I really liked the story, how in the end all the things you did in the past is reflected to the present. It made me actually feel something special, as if reading a very good book (which is the idea, no?). It was easy to read, great setting which contained many fantasy things i really liked and fantastic story (derp).
Only thing I disliked was when some of the choices I chose actually lead to my death - I went back and chose another option then suddenly the story unfolded just as I wanted to while i clicked the option that killed me. This is actually the only problem I can come up with. It is definately worth the read though. Used 1,5-2 hours in total.
-- Trilar on 8/21/2012 6:35:21 PM with a score of 0
-- XXXXXX on 8/17/2012 10:50:51 PM with a score of 0
That was absolutely brilliant!
on 8/16/2012 2:41:58 PM with a score of 0
Well... I actually had a lot of things to say about this; mostly random tidbits about things like dravens name being changed to dravin or how talia was speaking but it stated something along the lines of, "said brenda," but I went back to play out just about every possible path on both the eternal and the shadow sides. I had played through eternal before the shadow path was ever made, loved it.. and I just couldn't get enough. You know sometimes additions only drag down the original as a whole, but this just made an already great story even greater through it's diversity. Wonderful, just wonderful
Side note: Although I don't think there were as many epilogue "win" type endings in with the shadows, and I was kind of surprised that there wasn't an option for any sort of true romance once you decide to sell out the shadows to the empire. No sort of way to.. divert your course slightly, or even save himself from the carnage, whether that be for love or for survival.. but then again in that ending he did manage that he had found "love" and he died for it.
Another side note :) keep it up, I find entertainment in your writings like this and those of the necromancer series, if they can be called as such, on a level rivaling that of what dendrin found in his eternal (;
on 8/16/2012 9:11:53 AM with a score of 0
Just. Too. Damn. GOOD.
Took me about 2 hours to complete fully. Wow, what a great story.
-- Nathan on 8/15/2012 4:22:30 PM with a score of 0
Wow if there was a rating option called infinity,it would still be too less.The epilogues can bring people to depression.Surely the best story of the site
-- k on 8/14/2012 2:09:38 PM with a score of 0
Thoroughly and completely enjoyed this. The storyline and dialougue were just amazing. If this were a finished novel I would purchase it and share it with others. I am so glad I stumbled upon this piece. It totally made my night and it was right up my alley. Magic, turmoil, tragedy, love, etc. Definitely a must have favorite and bookmarked.
-- Nohealani on 8/11/2012 3:04:36 AM with a score of 0
3 endings now :D
-- Irongoldfish on 8/10/2012 12:39:28 PM with a score of 0
2 non-death ending now :D
-- Irongoldfish on 8/9/2012 5:55:15 PM with a score of 0
very well written great ending (EVEN the BAD ones) and i feel this is a near perfect test!
-- Irongoldfish on 8/9/2012 3:20:05 PM with a score of 0
FINALLLY THE ENDING IT WAS WORTH IT WOOOO THUMBS UP 4 THIS QUIZ PLAY IT FOR A REAL CHALLENGE I FEEL AWESOME BEATING IT YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
-- IronGoldfish on 8/9/2012 3:18:01 PM with a score of 0
REALLY HARD (BUT AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)
-- Irongoldfish on 8/9/2012 1:33:55 PM with a score of 0
Great game..pretty long and easy considering you can simply press the back button if you don't like the consequences of an option you selected. The options are limited considering how long the story is and there should definitely be more choice in the game. Overall though it has a nice story and the author did a great job. Definitely worth the five hours it took me to complete the game for the first time.
-- Etetnal on 8/7/2012 8:27:27 PM with a score of 0
Wow this touched my heart, a true tale of years. it was enjoyable thorugh childhood,adolesence,prime,middle age, and finally old age. endmaster thank you!
-- zeke on 7/30/2012 5:11:51 PM with a score of 0
Nice to see there's a lot of new content, thank you for that. Though it's very much, gonna need a long time to get through and it seems I'm trapped on a quite depressing arc right now (that whole bad allegiances and "survival instinct" stuff, nice read but sucks to identify with...). I hope there'll soon be a chance to find out what my real destiny in this universe of yours is! Long live the Emperor! And forever live the Empire!
on 7/26/2012 9:55:36 PM with a score of 0
AMAZING LOCES IT. WOW. BOUT TO PLAYIT AGAIN FOR ANOTHER ENDING. WHAT AN AMAZING TWIST. I WISH THIS WAS A BOOK OMGG <3 Lol I'm not being sarcastic either that was a really good story
-- WOWLOWLO on 7/25/2012 10:37:02 PM with a score of 0
i liked the new epilogue
on 7/24/2012 9:34:30 PM with a score of 0
Iv read the story through, through the first story line and all three endings to the shadows story line. It's a great read, you should definitely make another in this style!
-- Zane on 7/24/2012 3:34:15 AM with a score of 0
Wow. This was a fantastic story it was well written, engaging, and you really feel invested in the story. I know many people will complain about the lack of choices in it for a choose your own adventure story. But for what it was, it was incredible.
-- D'Ante on 7/23/2012 10:53:00 PM with a score of 0
The ending was just so sad! I loved the last line going on about in the end you will always be eternal, something like that. I didn't want to see my character go! Please tell me there will be more like this, its just too good!
-- Oriana on 7/23/2012 10:18:13 PM with a score of 0
on 7/23/2012 7:21:00 PM with a score of 0
I fell in love with this game and stayed up playing it all night
-- Rocky on 7/23/2012 6:04:35 AM with a score of 0
I've gotten one epilogue so far, and I must say: you write fascinating stories. I was frustrated at times, but I was always interested. Now to find other epilogues.
-- Jon E. on 7/17/2012 8:50:31 PM with a score of 0
Epic. Nuff said.
on 7/17/2012 5:16:16 AM with a score of 0
Another great story. I have found all the epilogues so far and I can't wait for the third installment. Endmaster one thing is for certain whatever happens to you; your stories will be ETERNAL.
on 7/15/2012 1:42:32 PM with a score of 0
Great story, with huge replay value. Thank you!
-- Lance on 7/15/2012 11:12:46 AM with a score of 0
ah,what a nice story....
I'm sure I'll remember this for a long time~
on 7/15/2012 4:39:56 AM with a score of 0
Finally, found all of the endings. Good story Endmaster! I'll be waiting for the "True Eternal Path"
on 7/14/2012 1:24:54 PM with a score of 0
It was great. The Shadow Path was really cool, but I noticed quite a few punctuation errors. It really was great, but not perfect like it was before. 7/8
on 7/13/2012 5:12:24 PM with a score of 0
EPIC <- all I can say about it.
on 7/13/2012 12:42:23 PM with a score of 0
I must have missed some. There were less than two dozen profanities, which made them stand out when I saw them. there was a dry spot in my branch from the ages of 40ish to 60ish. But my later years were enthralling to say the least. There were more typos than expected, but they weren't disruptive to the reading. 8/8 obviously. I'll likely give it another run through later. For Dendrin!
on 7/13/2012 12:13:41 AM with a score of 0
Nevermind, found the third epilogue :P
-- Zetsumei45 on 7/12/2012 6:44:03 AM with a score of 0
Is Chapter 2B1 not supposed to have an epilogue? I found one for both Chapter 3B1 and 3B2, but I have yet to find the third epilogue.
-- Zetsumei45 on 7/12/2012 5:53:36 AM with a score of 0
I'll have to see what I time I messaged Ugi on Facebook about this, but I spent the better part of the day reading just the new branch, I couldn't stop. It's 9 now, and I might have started around noon.
on 7/11/2012 9:59:32 PM with a score of 0
Really love the new shadow guard path, it was really worth the wait. I hope you will continue to writt stories for a long time.
on 7/11/2012 12:56:38 PM with a score of 0
A good if sad story, I'm happy you took the time to write it. I hope you keep writing
-- Random Mortal on 7/7/2012 3:10:31 PM with a score of 0
when i tried to do the right thing i was punished
-- zeke on 7/7/2012 2:36:20 PM with a score of 0
Dunno if you're allowed to do this, but this would be an updated comment from my old one, after I decided to cheat death several times in order to see the conclusion to this amazing story. After staying up all night simply reading this, it ended up being much more than just a simple game, instead turning into an actual fully fleshed out story. With every betrayal, death, or reunion, I would actually feel myself connect more and more into this immersive story. All in all, I would definitely give this an 8/8.
on 7/1/2012 10:03:56 AM with a score of 0
Though the story itself is very well written, I'm a bit disappointed about the very few branches this story has at least for the parts that I got to. It seemed to be quite linear, with one decision leading to immediate death while the other would continue the story. Besides that, this story was great, especially with the very fleshed out history and backgrounds of this universe that you have created.
on 7/1/2012 6:02:58 AM with a score of 0
Real writing! Brilliant
on 6/26/2012 3:49:31 AM with a score of 0
full of imagineation. love the details!
on 6/25/2012 10:41:48 PM with a score of 0
one of the best games i have played here, looking forward to more of them
on 6/23/2012 11:42:03 PM with a score of 0
Well written, had an interesting story and wasn't too short. I gave it a 7/8 as reaching perfection is impossible and I doubt I will ever give an 8/8. Very enjoyable, keep up the good work.
on 6/21/2012 6:51:47 PM with a score of 0
This was an awesome book, long, and sweet. I rated this book a seven, which is almost the max.
-- Alia12321 on 6/20/2012 2:06:03 AM with a score of 0
Epic, just epic...8/8
on 6/18/2012 8:28:46 AM with a score of 0
This is the best story game I'e ever played! I died a few times, but eventually (after a lot of retries) I got an epilogue! I got the awesome freedom one.
on 6/17/2012 8:28:01 AM with a score of 0
I have to say this was one of the most inspiring stories ive ever taken part of. The detail is amazing, and although there really was only once correct choice, i made it all the way to becoming a true Eternal. This was a touching story. Thank you for sharing it
-- Ryan on 6/12/2012 5:46:57 AM with a score of 0
AWESOME! NICE JOB!
-- Isaiah on 6/8/2012 11:50:40 AM with a score of 0
Very long, but I stayed with it. One of the best stories I every experienced. Tip of the hat well done.
on 6/6/2012 3:13:26 AM with a score of 0
everything EndMaster writes is golden
-- cm on 6/5/2012 7:20:25 PM with a score of 0
Why is it i always die in the end? All endings point to death?
-- Karl on 6/4/2012 1:39:49 AM with a score of 0
Great but it was hard and i confess that i had to retry more thane 6 times but it was worth it
-- lolzers on 6/3/2012 3:59:33 PM with a score of 0
Definitely worth an eight out of eight!
on 6/2/2012 10:44:14 PM with a score of 0
An AWESOME Game. It has an amazing amount of choice, the storylines are realistic and it is very well written
on 6/2/2012 8:36:10 AM with a score of 0
A great game. I died trying to defend my buddy :( Stil, will definitely be replaying
on 6/2/2012 4:34:01 AM with a score of 0
Awesome, AWESOME story. This should be made into a movie, seriously. :P The only thing I personally don't like so much is the cursing, but other than that, I thought it was an absolutely amazing trip. Seemed like you touched on a few deep subjects as well, and many choices really made me feel and think, that's why I believe this one deserves an 8.
-- Random reader on 5/29/2012 10:21:14 PM with a score of 0
Good game, but the reading is a bit intence. I would personaly like more choises and less reading to increase the playing experience. Then agen, the point of a good storry, is the storry. So it was great for what it was. And codose for the great cocept...P.S. I didn't realy know what my surroundings were the whole time. I would tolerate the reading more if you had put efort into describing things. The breef intro on the charicters was nice, but you only gave fisical discriptons of a coupple. And little reason to care. also, describe the area a little.
I have no idea on the landscape, inhabitence, TIME PERIOD or eanything of the sort. I imagend it was like a wierd skyrim, but i dont even know if i was on earth. So just try for more personality.
-- sexypony7 on 5/29/2012 12:17:45 AM with a score of 0
really awsome story, kept me glued to the screen for hours from start to finish
on 5/25/2012 7:25:52 PM with a score of 0
this is one of my favorite games on this website
-- sam on 5/23/2012 8:27:06 PM with a score of 0
Epic , just epic
U should seriously consider writing a novel instead of a game.I shudder thinking how long it'll take to discover all endings
-- K on 5/23/2012 3:26:57 AM with a score of 0
Great Game. I couldn't get off my computer for 8 hours straight.
on 5/21/2012 8:34:39 PM with a score of 0
I hated that defending Gerald and standing up for Kane made me automatically die. There should have been a way to protect my team and not die... Loved the game though.
-- Laura on 4/28/2012 10:47:06 PM with a score of 0
K, I have Bane, Savior, Couple, and Warrior. I NEED A PATRIOT!
on 4/23/2012 8:07:01 PM with a score of 0
The endings are eternal bane,saviour,warriour,couple and patriot
on 4/18/2012 9:37:47 AM with a score of 0
I really enjoyed eternal. I made a wrong decision though and did last long, but I will definetly retry and continue one. I want to thank you for the great adventure!
-- Billy Garner on 4/16/2012 2:18:44 AM with a score of 0
Such an epic book!! I felt like I was a kid again, picking the book back up again and re-reading the different endings!!
-- David on 4/13/2012 4:13:28 AM with a score of 0
Had fun with this, pretty good game and story
on 4/12/2012 9:56:20 AM with a score of 0
very good......the best games i've ever played........for today
-- rema on 4/9/2012 6:59:24 AM with a score of 0
Bane, Savior, and Couple, is there more?
-- Dughe on 4/5/2012 7:54:31 PM with a score of 0
I thought that this storygame was one of the best I have read and played, and I am thankful I had the ability to play it. This game was excellently crafted and worthy of all praise it recieves and more.
on 4/5/2012 5:23:57 PM with a score of 0
This was so awesome that when I rated that it would bring enlightment, I wasn't kidding.
It's the kind of game you only play once because of its amazingness.
PLEASE, do make more: this is wonderfully well written and the plot is the most complex I ever recall seing in this kind of game. In fact, it takes the term to a whole new level.
Thank you for writing this.
-- dalenacio on 4/5/2012 12:11:03 AM with a score of 0
Love this story. I must say seeing as ground zero was my first. I was expecting a lot. And it produced. An amazing read. Funny reading the comments on here about swearing!!! THIS IS A WARZONE!!!! People aren't going to exactly be chilled out!! Oh...... I loved all the endings BANE being my favourite as it was the closest I got to having a child!!! Ha ha. But I was praying for an ending that I could keep the empire together and rule the world!!! Necromancer up next.........
-- Db1984 on 4/4/2012 1:51:56 PM with a score of 0
best game ever!
on 4/1/2012 9:04:49 AM with a score of 0
This is amazing and great in deatail. Except for a few grammatical mistakes, it's wonderful!
-- Anvill99 on 3/31/2012 9:58:10 PM with a score of 0
truly amazimg work...ive seen all 3 epilogues and i realy like them
on 3/27/2012 7:41:01 PM with a score of 0
wow the eternal couple is very nice too
on 3/27/2012 12:54:42 PM with a score of 0
I see you have made more improvements upon the time that I left this novella. Still pretty good, and it is written in your style. ME GUSTA.
on 3/25/2012 1:31:45 PM with a score of 0
the eternal bane epilogue is the best ending
on 3/24/2012 11:16:45 PM with a score of 0
This is fucking epic, i wish all the books i read were like this. I did die alot early on but i managed to make to year 48 before both options fucked me over.
-- Daniel on 3/24/2012 7:08:29 PM with a score of 0
Amazing...simply amazing. I must say it took me forever lol..the entire day almost with the small/large breaks I took..not to mention how you skillfully played with emotions, truly immersed me in the story unlike any choice game has ever done. Experienced 2 endings and i might come back to try and get more but for now I need a break!
-- Michael on 3/22/2012 1:51:59 AM with a score of 0
on 3/20/2012 11:16:05 PM with a score of 0
End Master knocked this one out of the park as per usual. Loved this one!
on 3/20/2012 4:13:24 PM with a score of 0
I also want to say that I wish that the gnomes or something, would've cured my infertility in one story line.
on 3/18/2012 12:42:00 PM with a score of 0
I believe I have done all the endings for this story. I read my way to Eternal Bane, Savior, Warrior, Patriot,and Couple. I think I might have missed one epilogue while I was reading the Kingdom story line though. ty for another amazing story.
on 3/18/2012 12:39:35 PM with a score of 0
The synopsis of the Eternal reminds me of 1984 meets Final Fantasy. Obviously, I failed at the adventure. It may have swayed my vote. Overall, it was still fun to play. It would have been nicer to have more than two choices though. If I created a choose your own adventure, there would be at least three choices on each page.
-- Adam13 on 3/18/2012 6:19:57 AM with a score of 0
Awesome story!! I really appreciate the depth of the storyline and the effort that you put in. Thanks!!
on 3/15/2012 1:23:51 PM with a score of 0
The writing could have been a tad more fluid, and it lacked in description, but in general I liked it! :D
I just wish that it wasn't so easy to die in the beginning. Trying to keep all your team mates alive doesn't seem like something that warrants hanging.
-- Jessica on 3/11/2012 10:13:33 PM with a score of 0
Wow, it was really long, I spent a good 4 hours on it. It was amazing and I think anyone who want's to be in a role of power will love this.
-- Josh on 3/4/2012 8:58:06 PM with a score of 0
Eternal was undoubtedly the best storygame I have ever played from a variety of different sites, in my opinion it's a masterpiece.
-- mobby123 on 3/4/2012 6:38:13 AM with a score of 0
When I first read this story I said that I was annoyed that the character was unlikable.
The two endings I first got (Felkan and own empire) did indeed have little character development and kept the main character in the rut that he started in.
The Eternal Bane ending was very well-written though, and probably my favorite although Rask does seem to have hard times ahead. Would you perhaps make a sequel? I'd like to see what Ulivik ends up doing.
Again though, as I said before: The swearing was a bit overdone. It got to the point where the swearing wasn't so much meaningful emphasis as an annoying constant that seemed to try but fail to make the story more "mature."
on 2/29/2012 10:28:53 PM with a score of 0
Great story, but the swearing was a bit over the top. Some swearing is nice but at times it just seemed ridiculous.
Also, the main character was incredibly unlikable.
However, the craftsmanship is impeccable.
-- Nick on 2/28/2012 2:14:48 AM with a score of 0
sweet i was hung nice job 8/8
on 2/27/2012 9:52:30 AM with a score of 0
This is one of the best CYOA games I've ever played.
-- Alexis on 2/25/2012 1:39:00 AM with a score of 0
I'm surprised trolls managed to pull down the rating, but this is definitely an 8/8 storygame.
-- kay on 2/17/2012 10:50:20 PM with a score of 0
Why... is this story not an eight?
-- written_agreement on 2/17/2012 6:58:16 PM with a score of 0
Most excellent story! I just spent a few hours of my day off reading this while having coffee. Can't wait to read it again and read other options!
Btw, the wendigo suck >_> and loved the killer rabbits, lol
-- Redakai on 2/15/2012 9:53:12 PM with a score of 0
Great game, It was long, but you become so emotionally invested that stopping feels morally wrong.
on 2/13/2012 10:09:09 PM with a score of 0
sad ending makes me sad
-- :( on 2/13/2012 7:29:32 AM with a score of 0
I have enjoyed alot of Endmaster's work, and this was most certainly up there with death song. A truly wonderful story that touched me and immersed me into a story like I never have been before.
-- Peter on 2/10/2012 1:29:25 PM with a score of 0
Had a great time with this one. really enjoyed reading it!
on 2/9/2012 7:20:38 PM with a score of 0
Epic - Eternal Bane
on 2/6/2012 9:40:34 PM with a score of 0
absolutly amazing read couldnt even stop to have a quick break
on 2/3/2012 4:02:04 PM with a score of 0
lol i died alot
on 2/3/2012 1:21:22 PM with a score of 0
Found it! I found the final epilogue! I've completed it, for now.
Really nice story.
on 1/30/2012 4:13:25 PM with a score of 0
Thanks for the comments. There are currently 5 epilogues (sounds like you've found 4 already) but I'm still planning on adding 2 more major branches to the story and hoping to get at least 10 different epilogues total.
on 1/30/2012 4:51:09 AM with a score of 0
And I found another epilogue - How many of these things did you put in here? Seriously?
on 1/29/2012 1:36:59 PM with a score of 0
Another epilogue - in this one I didn't outlive all the other Eternals, which was a nice change. Masterful work, writing this.
on 1/29/2012 1:26:55 PM with a score of 0
Got another epilogue. The more I read, the more I like. Liked who my character became a little more this time around, too.
on 1/29/2012 12:40:08 PM with a score of 0
Very good. Very, very good. A few annoying unanticipated outcomes of a decision, but I suppose that's what a CYOA is all about. Occasionally it's badly worded and difficult to follow, and it has a few spelling errors, but generally it's well written and entertaining. My largest critisiscm is that it's rather long - but you can always stop reading, I guess. Or make the wrong choice, and have your advnture foreshortened.
The story is rather dark, but I suppose that's what a maturity rating is for. The hero may be a little uninteresting, but the imaginative and original storytlling does help to foster an interest in his eventual fate, and it makes for a good read.
And look! I got an epilogue! Now to find the others . . .
on 1/29/2012 12:08:34 PM with a score of 0
-- hell2o on 1/21/2012 2:17:06 PM with a score of 0
Cut off, continue from my last comment...
However given that you claim the story has no "hook" just further proves you have a lack of reading skills considering most other people understood the plot just fine and that even includes the people who didn't necessarily think it was the best thing ever.
Anyway at least you had the courage to actually write a detailed comment and actually sign in properly. You're a true patriot. *salute*
on 1/20/2012 6:44:28 PM with a score of 0
So you basically chose option 3, whine like a bitch about swearing. Good job!
I'm not offended (It's impossible), but I am amused by all the overly sensitive poppets. Seriously there is no where NEAR a lot of swearing, if anyone thinks there is, then they have to be living a sheltered life. That's all there is to it. Do you seriously expect battle hardened solider types to go around speaking like high class society types? Lol. And like I keep telling everyone, highest maturity rating, HELLO, there might be swearing in it. Can't give any clearer warnings than that, or I could but I would hope people use a little common sense.
Not to mention "everyone" in the story isn't swearing every other word let alone coming off as if they're similar and to honestly think that's the case, just shows a lack of reading comprehension.
However given that you claim the story has no "hook" just further
on 1/20/2012 6:42:27 PM with a score of 0
not to bash this but i couldnt help but skim over most of the story... its so chuncked together and just doesnt have any hook, also what someone said about the swearing, i agree, there is so much of it that it takes away from the character of the story, making everyone swear makes everyone too similar in personality. I think i got the shortest ending on my first run or this story is just short in general. Its got so much potential to be great, but in its current form its hard to read. i also noticed several misspellings. Im sorry if my comment offends you but im only telling my opinion.
on 1/20/2012 4:43:59 AM with a score of 0
Amazing work. To rate any lower than an 8 would be ridiculous. Incredibly immersive and well-written, I can't say enough good things about this.
on 1/17/2012 10:24:29 PM with a score of 0
Apparently a trollfest given the last few dumb comments I've recieved. (Nothing new there!)
But seriously if anyone is going to be a little bitch about "bad" language, read a damn story that doesn't have a "7" maturity rating, because chances are it's going to have few "bad" words in it. (SHOCK!)
Or at least make a reasonable intelligent comment like Tyler M. did.
OR (Because there's always a 3rd option!) don't do either of those and continue to be a little bitch and whine about swearing. That's fine too.
on 1/17/2012 4:25:17 PM with a score of 0
What is this?
-- Eric on 1/17/2012 1:47:44 PM with a score of 0
Stupid ass comment, not enough fucking swear words.
on 1/17/2012 4:18:25 AM with a score of 0
stupid story to many swear words
-- tgiybkhj on 1/16/2012 11:30:36 PM with a score of 0
-- yui on 1/14/2012 5:44:59 PM with a score of 0
-- yui on 1/14/2012 5:44:28 AM with a score of 0
Kept me entertained for hours!
I love how long it was and the many choices presented.
on 1/10/2012 2:10:43 PM with a score of 0
Just finished the best ending with my own country... best story i've seen on here... it was amazing
on 1/9/2012 7:26:47 PM with a score of 0
A few minor spelling errors and such, but otherwise incredible. A great story and good writing.
-- TheOtherAlien on 1/5/2012 7:29:37 PM with a score of 0
Some spelling and grammatical errors, but nothing inhibiting to the experience. Occasionally, I was prone to remark "Really?" at some of the more groan-inducing language. I was troubled by some of the moral themes until I accepted them as aiding the author's intent.
But other than that, this is a good story; a good story, and a satisfying read.
-- Tyler M. on 12/29/2011 9:57:07 PM with a score of 0
An excellent read... Well done!
on 12/28/2011 3:04:43 PM with a score of 0
I went through every option, every ending, and I have to say, this is the best story I've read so far (of course, I haven't read many, but I don't think that matters.)
on 12/10/2011 11:54:15 PM with a score of 0
New rating 9: Eternal
on 12/7/2011 12:43:34 AM with a score of 0
lol TWIG NECK SNAP!
on 12/6/2011 6:38:42 PM with a score of 0
did you have to cuss?
-- Elizabeth on 12/3/2011 9:20:00 PM with a score of 0
Getting both Bane and Couple endings were fun, and altogether entertaining. Unlike most 2nd person perspective stories, this also has the quality of a novel, branching off into several parallel storylines while maintaining its rich quality, truly a magnificent story.
-- HHERDERp on 11/30/2011 7:12:27 PM with a score of 0
A truly inspiring story and your best work to date. There's a lot of points in the story where I wish I had more options, but it nonetheless was a fulfilling experience. I'll be playing through it again to see the other endings and look forward to whatever else you add to it in the future.
on 11/26/2011 10:24:07 AM with a score of 0
awesome story and narration. Loved it.
on 11/24/2011 3:43:32 AM with a score of 0
THIS WAS EPICLY AWESOME!! and sad...
on 11/22/2011 9:12:06 AM with a score of 0
on 11/20/2011 12:07:46 AM with a score of 0
It was amazing! I got the epilogue too! ETERNAL!
on 11/10/2011 10:45:50 PM with a score of 0
Got Eternal Couple ending. Great story, will probably try and get more endings.
on 11/9/2011 11:27:48 PM with a score of 0
Amazing. Absolutely amazing. Id say its the best game iv found on this site. 8 of 8
on 11/9/2011 7:31:52 PM with a score of 0
Amazing. I can't believe you fit such large scope stories into the gamebook format. I haven't had this much fun with gamebooks since I was reading the Lone Wolf books as a kid.
-- knightwalker on 11/9/2011 12:57:09 PM with a score of 0
Played for a good 6-7 hour. Its amazing. Good work.
-- Zane Wheeler on 11/8/2011 1:42:27 PM with a score of 0
-- gh on 11/6/2011 6:24:13 PM with a score of 0
That was an amazing story.
on 11/6/2011 1:16:18 AM with a score of 0
lived to be a great general and to be 101 with an amazing wife this is the best one iv read yet better than necromancer... best ending iv read in a while great job author. I suggest making more like this, but i would like to see one about the past like being king arther or even alexander the great give it alterations like this and make it so that you chose how you wanted history to go just an idea for you... all in all amazing job :)
-- tyler demott on 10/30/2011 2:34:10 AM with a score of 0
on 10/29/2011 6:22:48 PM with a score of 0
Best damn one on this site so far. Thought it was a pretty tedious (turn the page) type story at first, now that I think about it, it's pretty much what EVERY story ever written is, at first. Turned out to be long and pretty awesome, entertained me for a good number of hours. Great work.
-- Ace on 10/27/2011 2:29:00 PM with a score of 0
Never in my life could I have dreamed of this! Never in my freaking life! Everything felt so real. The way the world changes around you, the way your character changes. It's all an experience that I have only ever felt in the best of novels. This piece crushed its competition and shatterd all expectations I could have set. This story shall be eternally engraved in my memory. I will remember this.
on 10/24/2011 5:31:22 PM with a score of 0
Perhaps my favorite part of playing through this storygame was how the early ending had a real sense of being an ending. They weren't just "you died, the end". The writing was very well done, but there are a few grammatical errors here and there (almost unavoidable really, with the length of the work). The characters were both believeable and very much alive! Thank you for allowing us to take a walk through your eternal vision. Overall, a wonderful read and a masterful demonstration of what a storygame can be, remember this!
on 10/22/2011 11:20:22 AM with a score of 0
I played this so much to ensure that I'd get every ending. I love all of your works, Endmaster. The main reason why is that you don't make it about good or evil, you make it about life, survival, realism (excluding the magic, orcs, elves, etc.). My favorite work by you is still Necromancer, but this one gave it a run for its money. Please do not stop writing.
-- Alex on 10/19/2011 10:18:25 PM with a score of 0
Loved it and my favorite ending was the faesk one.. Any chance for a sequal?
-- Asian on 10/19/2011 12:26:22 AM with a score of 0
Great story! Totally my fault it ended the way it did that time.
on 10/16/2011 3:44:06 PM with a score of 0
Truly I enjoyed what I got through of the story, which I won't lie, wasn't much. The writing is excellent, that's certain. I don't agree with the ending I got, and can justify for myself why I made the choices I did. I can go as far as to justify why the character might have made those choices, even though he questions them in the actual story. Other than that, it's great work.
-- Brandon on 10/16/2011 3:10:34 PM with a score of 0
That was simply amazing. It took me around two days to read all of it, and it's the first story that I actually had to save in months. This story was the best I've read in a while, and perhaps the best I've read on the site, and I can't wait untill the next two branches are released.
on 10/16/2011 2:21:26 PM with a score of 0
-- Vinny on 10/15/2011 3:32:31 AM with a score of 0
I love the story. Got to the epilogue at 101 years old. Going to try ruling the world now and see where it takes me :)
on 10/11/2011 12:27:32 PM with a score of 0
i love endmaster games and at the end i was brought to it almost made me tear up good story endmaster and good luck in your future one's and i hope the other story branches are as good as this one
-- Lugen13 on 10/11/2011 11:03:52 AM with a score of 0
I love this story defenatly in my top two Endmaster you do a great job on all your storys keep it up
on 10/11/2011 12:35:40 AM with a score of 0
Fucking loved it
-- Azn on 10/10/2011 12:25:29 AM with a score of 0
That's a damned good piece of writing. Well done!
on 10/9/2011 6:01:20 AM with a score of 0
it was amazing! i loved every thing!
on 10/9/2011 12:22:40 AM with a score of 0
on 10/7/2011 9:30:29 PM with a score of 0
on 10/6/2011 11:05:22 AM with a score of 0
Is there a way to keep the Empire intact yet?
on 10/2/2011 7:00:40 PM with a score of 0
Just like the rest of Endmaster's games i love this story. However i have to say it needs more leeway options. Like with the first elf instructor there was only one option and that was to "beg". And of course everybody got hanged because of defending Kane lol.
In my opinion more options would be good but aside from that this is an epic story like always. Kudos.
-- Zasz on 10/2/2011 6:14:17 PM with a score of 0
Heh. Not the best ending but it took me over a century to get it and it did not disappoint. As always, you've delivered a master piece, Endmaster. Liked the small reference to Necromancer in it too. After everything that happened, I do in fact feel ETERNAL.
on 10/1/2011 10:57:17 PM with a score of 0
is this country of nercromancers related to your necromancer game ?
-- austin on 10/1/2011 4:06:07 PM with a score of 0
Ah finally, i found the other two endings! Now my favorite endings are Eternal Couple/Warrior/Patriot. lol Good work Endmaster!
on 9/30/2011 12:26:51 PM with a score of 0
You are a writing diety. I love your works, in fact your stories have inspired me to start writing my stories. The best part of your works is the way you weave them. Each line stands out magnificently and at the same time blends in and amplifies the entire masterpiece. Endmaster you are truely the master :).
on 9/29/2011 11:24:31 PM with a score of 0
This was fun, I always like the "lifetime" arc EndMaster provides. Two notab pitfalls were perhaps the lack of a romantic arc (Kozer was the closest thing in myle play-through) and the occasional use of "Empire" where "Imperial" would've been more appropriate. Other than that I enjoyed it a lot, especially Bane's time in Rask as he got older and his surrogate fatherhood to Ulivik.
on 9/29/2011 8:22:27 PM with a score of 0
Got all endings. My favorite is Eternal warrior and couple.
on 9/29/2011 7:42:44 PM with a score of 0
Amazing job Endmaster, You have truly created an Eternal story for CYS
(Spolier) I ended up with the Eternal Couple Ending, so I'm happy! :)
on 9/29/2011 2:50:26 PM with a score of 0
I mangered to go through and get 3/5 endings. I am going to play through again to see if I can get the last two.
on 9/29/2011 9:59:13 AM with a score of 0
8/8 It was amazing, yet I still felt more moved by necromancer for some strange reason, it just felt more deep for some strange reason.
No real criticisms whatsoever.
on 9/28/2011 11:38:31 PM with a score of 0
A very dark read, but it was amazing nonetheless. It was entertaining, the characters were engaging (especially Gruz) and the story was immersing. There were a few minor grammatical/spelling errors, and at times it felt a little linear, but it was nothing that detracted from my enjoyment of the story. Well done. (I got the Eternal Couple epilogue.)
on 9/28/2011 11:10:41 PM with a score of 0
Got the Eternal Warrior epilogue. This is one of my favorites on the site, up with OMS, GZ, and Mommy.
on 9/28/2011 4:57:32 PM with a score of 0
As with all of your other stories, amazing. 8/8. Playing this again!
on 9/28/2011 4:50:43 PM with a score of 0