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Got a favorite storygame? Can't beat The Wal*Mart Game? If you're here to play storygames, this is the forum for you.

Interesting comments 4

10 months ago

I'm a girl. All of my boners are weird. ^_^

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10 months ago
^^^ And that concludes the words from our sponsor. Thanks Briar! Old thread was getting a bit unwieldy, but interesting comments never end. Never understood why Phoenician Trade Games gets so many comments, but presumably some teacher somewhere really likes it. Great.... job.... educating your class.... ooooooo on 2/5/2019 for Phoenician Trade Game i don't get it xd im pro at fortnite on 2/5/2019 for Phoenician Trade Game im pro at fortnite battle royale and my name is ROBLX YTdank and if you add me on fortnite battle royale i will roast youre hairline like it is a cat in the oven cade is short on 2/5/2019 for Phoenician Trade Game cade is big short and its true MooAbduction is garbage on 2/5/2019 for Phoenician Trade Game Hey guys my name is moo abduction and im bad at fortnite but i clip every shot i hit and i never get clips because im so bad but i think im good at fortnite because i can bush camp big fat man on 2/5/2019 for Phoenician Trade Game this game looks like my hairline and my hairline is actually garbo cookiebat290 on 2/5/2019 for Phoenician Trade Game oof

Interesting comments 4

10 months ago

Eternal

FUCK YOU AND YOUR STORY BITHC FUCK EVERYTHING

-- Dylan Zimmerman on 2/4/2019 4:40:58 PM with a score of 0

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10 months ago
For all the newbies that want to research the wonderful history of CYStia, here are the links to the first, second and third interesting comments thread. I hope that they will be joined by many more in the future.

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10 months ago
Thanks. I'd meant to collect those together in the OP, and then I forgot.

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10 months ago
None of your buisness on 2/8/2019 for Ground Zero This is bad for a young man Dont do it foul language

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9 months ago

Love SICK

Is it even legal to read or especially write something like this? I'm not offended, I'm just not okay with this. You couldn't do ghosts, or zombies, or literally anything else?

1/10. This is too messed up for me.

-- What the.. f*ck? on 2/16/2019 8:05:08 PM

Sounds like she was offended.

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9 months ago
Ah, the innocence of youth. Does anyone recall the days of being so precious and tender that this story would be the worst thing you'd ever encountered on the internet?

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9 months ago

My introduction to the Internet was looking up what oral sex was.  So, no.  

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9 months ago

From: PromiscuousHedgehog
To: EndMaster
Date: 2/17/2019 10:45:16 PM

Everyone on this site hates your storygames. and I'm sure they would kill you if they had the chance.

Lol.

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9 months ago

If that's true, it's only because you make us all look like the scum we are in comparison.  

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9 months ago
He has a mildly amusing username this time at least. Did he copy and paste the same thing to Steve?

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9 months ago

Dead Man Walking

this book was trash can autsim

-- crater on 2/19/2019 11:11:57 AM with a score of 4460

Always a bit surprising when Berka gets a flat out negative comment. At worst he usually gets a generally praising comment that bitches about his story being sexist.

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9 months ago
There is no book, there is no trashcan, just a five year old typing words at random which in some respects happen to resemble a sentence closely enough that the brain interprets them that way.

There is however plenty of autism on display.

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9 months ago
Very autsim.

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9 months ago

I think that he is referencing the 1993 novel by Helen Prejean.

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9 months ago
Dragonheart on 2/23/2019 for Live the Life of a Cat [delete]
love your books and hope there will be a video game about warrior cats. Dragon out.


iirc Life of a Cat used to get a lot of WC kids hating on it because it was just about a normal cat doing normal cat things, and why couldn't you escape the house to go join a clan what a terrible story!!!

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9 months ago

doneshia on 2/21/2019 for Tower of Riddles [delete]
is try really hard

doneshia on 2/21/2019 for Light Space [delete]
they should never open the door.

donehia on 2/21/2019 for The Bard's Tale [delete]
it like a scary story.


Insightful.

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9 months ago

I do not think I was the first to notice this. but as this has not been posted on either this or the previous Interesting Comments, I should immortalize it. 

On Solstice by WIBN.

 

You got a nom on the nomnom scale. Your writing is good, and after reading your story it just kind of made me sad and reflex on my own life. The only spelling error i found was that you wrote hare, instead of here? Keep up the good work! Oh to find out the full description of the nomnom scale, look at my profile if you're curious.
Conversion Chart:
yuk!=0-1 stars
eh!=1-1.9 stars
meh...=2-2.9 stars
nom=3-3.9 stars
nomnom=4-4.9 stars
nomnomnom!=5-6 stars

-- Cake_Oi on 1/29/2019 9:56:02 PM with a score of 280

Some reflexing on my life may do me some good some time.  Perhaps I will read this soon.

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9 months ago
He/she/it has written a ton of comments like that, in some attempt to be cute and original (by copying some random YouTuber they like, apparently.)

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9 months ago

I would've gone with:

1 star: Nom

2 stars: Glomp

3 stars: OwO

4 stars: Yiff

5 stars: Ryder

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9 months ago
I was looking through some of the old comments on Eternal, and oh my, this one's gold:

Good game, but the reading is a bit intence. I would personaly like more choises and less reading to increase the playing experience. Then agen, the point of a good storry, is the storry. So it was great for what it was. And codose for the great cocept...P.S. I didn't realy know what my surroundings were the whole time. I would tolerate the reading more if you had put efort into describing things. The breef intro on the charicters was nice, but you only gave fisical discriptons of a coupple. And little reason to care. also, describe the area a little.
I have no idea on the landscape, inhabitence, TIME PERIOD or eanything of the sort. I imagend it was like a wierd skyrim, but i dont even know if i was on earth. So just try for more personality.
-- sexypony7 on 5/29/2012 12:17:45 AM with a score of 0[delete][feature]


Indeed, troolie SEXYPONY7 speeks for us all.

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8 months ago

Seabass on 3/8/2019 for The Price of Freedom: Innocence Lost [delete]

The story is interesting, but the historical inconsistencies are too much for me to enjoy it fully. If it worked more within the constraints of the historical context its based off of, it would be truly excellent. An example would be that Lula and Gerda, instead of becoming fighters, become escorts because of the different roles that female slaves played and have Rhode be the one training them while another man was training the actual gladiators. Again, its a matter of historical consistency for me, not that the story does not functionally work.



Quoting not for being funny or anything, just pointing out the interesting phenomenon of how much more a dumbass a person looks like when complaining about 'historical inaccuracy' while being wrong themselves.

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8 months ago

... Genius!!! Gather round, girls. The bald, pieced, scary bitch with freaky face tattoos is going to teach you all to be prozzies! ^_^

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8 months ago
You'd pay premium for the freaky bald bitch and you know it.

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8 months ago

Costs extra if you want her to use the whip. ^_^

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8 months ago

What is even the point otherwise?  

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8 months ago
Hhhhhhjjh on 3/28/2019 for 1st and the Last of the Ninja

It is very good main character naruto it is so good you will love it okay it is very fun and fun ok hard workjhkhjk huh ughnjbbhhhb hhhhhhj ghhbbvh. Ghhhhhhghhghggggggg hhgghhhjghhghjhghhhhgghgggjhjjj vnchghkykgjgugig


Just die.



Molly on 3/28/2019 for Phoenician Trade Game
it was fun but graphics would make the game even better to allow the person playing the game to visualize it even better. The overall layout of the game is decent but i guarantee that if you add pictures/animations to it to act it out it would make it AMAZING!


Wait, I changed my mind. You die instead. And deleted a bunch of spammy gibberish off the Phoenician game while I was at it. Some teacher really loves showing retards this mediocre game.

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8 months ago

One lost and one more to go

Great game! It's really sad that the trolls on this site are mass voting 1's and insulting your story, though. I recommend coming to https://www.choiceofgames.com/ instead. I admin there and it's a very friendly to all races, genders, and ages! We'd be extremely happy to have you.

-- Jason Hill on 3/28/2019 8:30:08 PM

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8 months ago
Has anyone found out who Jason Hill is yet? ^_^

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8 months ago

Nah, he's totally not that dude with Stevan as a middle name or something. 

See you later. *puts on groucho glasses, becoming instantly unrecognizable*

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8 months ago
*Gasp*! O.O

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8 months ago
piisul on 4/1/2019 for The Path of Death
-really good story -way too many choices -Many endings -Long story -interesting characters -Too little sex with blaise 10/10

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8 months ago

Eternal

"Choose your story". Why did the game force me to fuck some nasty brown elf slut?

-- V on 4/5/2019 7:47:57 AM with a score of 0

Wow, way to be racist. Lol.

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8 months ago
I'm sure that's just Victim again.

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8 months ago
I saw that haha~!

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7 months ago
stupid stinky kid on 4/9/2019 for Inepta Academy
not fun at all what the point of this game if i could hold it i would throw it in the garbage and poop on it


kalina on 4/9/2019 for Inepta Academy
it sucks


Wow Killa, tough audience tonight.

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7 months ago

I like this one.  

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7 months ago

Order of the Midnight Sun

This is the best endmaster story I have ever read. The maze is hard but use the Page number on top to gain refernce

--Diejuden on 4/10/2019 10:05:05 PM with a score of 4949

Lol.

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7 months ago
M on 4/11/2019 for The Price of Freedom: Innocence Lost
Amazing!

Just making it clear this was NOT me. I would never lower myself to a one word review, I have a reputation that I protect by never getting around to reviews at all anymore.

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7 months ago

... Well obviously it's not you. The M is capitalized cheeky

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7 months ago
thereddragonborn on 4/11/2019 for Death Song It was okay. Never got a good ending. Writing was eh... But, certainly not a waste of time. You know, come to think of it, I never got a good ending to Death Song either! I wonder if this was because the writing was 'eh'?

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7 months ago

On Price of Freedom: Innocence Lost

I still want to escape and make a empire in Zeru’s home village to compete with Rome while recruiting Lulu’s brothers. Then conquer all the way up to the main character’s home town and see if their father is still alive(while getting the option to forgive him or own him as a slave, just to add more sentimental choices along the way)

-- ChooseYourStuff on 4/13/2019 8:42:32 PM with a score of 0

 

That'd be cool, Briar.  Which installment are you going to do this in, Briar? 

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7 months ago

Probably the same installment where you have the option to completely overthrow the Roman Empire and become the new Caesar... After you've tamed the elephant, of course. ^_^

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7 months ago
I think it's cute that kids are getting so into the story that they're imagining fanfiction.

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7 months ago

Ah crap, there's going to be creepy Andreas x Alexius fanfics now, aren't there? >.<

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7 months ago

There already are, I'm sure.  Caecilia gets killed off after trying to ruin their love, of course.  That bitch.

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7 months ago

Found this gem on Crescentstar's Three Hundred Thousand Tears:

this was soooooooooooooo off track!!some parts of The storyline made no sense!!I thought this would be 1 of the sad stories,NOPE I thought wrong apparently!!!!THIS IS A NONSENSE STORYLINE!!like 5 pages u can only do 1 thing,come on!!! 

LONG STORY SHORT,THIS GAME SUCKS!! 1/10 (p.s. the 1 is 4 the time and effort u put into this) 

-- mad gamer on 2/19/2018 10:41:02 AM with a score of 0

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7 months ago
That's a good story. It's too bad Crescent was lost to the forces of Anime.

I feel like it's completely legit to wish a great amount of misery and suffering on the commenter just based the exclamation points and the lack of spaces and all the capital letters. All the bad things, conbined in one short post. Who would write that? Nobody who can *really* be considered human, surely.

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7 months ago

At least his ability to create half-coherent sentences surpasses FANG's.

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6 months ago

I haven't watched any anime until the past week, and I have occasionally visited CYS while I was inactive to browse the featured games list and read the News. I'm glad you think positively of Three Hundred Thousand Tears. :D

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7 months ago
Nick Gurr on 4/24/2019 for Popping My Cherry Jenny made me so hard Nick Gurr on 4/24/2019 for Popping My Cherry Please go into more detail at the fun bits Nick Gurr on 4/24/2019 for Desperate Heart Please have more unzipping of pants ....this may not be the kind of site you think it is, Nick.

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7 months ago

Popping My Cherry

Made me very hard 11/10 please make more. Mike Wazoski was very hot

-- Nick Gurr on 4/23/2019 3:16:41 PM

Grief

Please add a little bit of unzipping pants and lotion. I am very lonely and would like this added for my pleasure.

-- Nick Gurr on 4/23/2019 3:06:23 PM

Rainy mood

The ending was getting somewhere, but it should have gone further. I would have liked for something hard and long.

-- Nick Gurr on 4/23/2019 3:09:33 PM

Any reasone?

This was a great fap 10/10

-- Nick Gurr on 4/23/2019 3:12:00 PM

 

I don't think he cares that this isn't that kind of site.

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7 months ago

Love SICK

Now THIS is more like it!

-- Nick Gurr on 4/23/2019 3:24:00 PM

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7 months ago

Disappointed to see that this was not in fact a real comment.

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7 months ago
Now I'm sad about it too.

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7 months ago

Well, if he did read it, I'm used he'd be very pleased with the levels of fapability ^_^

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7 months ago
Lol, missed those. At least he's consistent.

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7 months ago

ummm? lol

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7 months ago

On The Price of Freedom: Innocence Lost

Hey I was told this was a CHILD MURDER SIM and was very eager to MURDER A CHILD so that I could have a hysterical meltdown about it on an internet forum and threaten to report the author to the FBI...but then when I played it I was very disappointed to find there was an option to just knock the CHILD I wanted to MURDER unconscious instead??? wtf

Ugh now I'm disappointed, freaking out about CHILD MURDER is just never quite the same when it's only possible to MURDER A CHILD by deliberate choice. 1/8, why did I even read this, well anyway off to rub more sand in my vagina and virtue signal at a flock of seagulls on the horizon I suppose, bye.
-- Cantaloupe Nun on 4/26/2019 4:13:21 PM with a score of 100000

I heartily agree.

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7 months ago

LMAO! This makes me very happy... Will probably be making a thread about that strange forum meltdown soon. cheeky

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7 months ago
I look forward to it

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7 months ago

Dead Man Walking

Would be nice if the female characters were allowed to do more than get hysterical/be assaulted/look after the children but here we are in 1951 I guess

-- Camenite on 4/28/2019 2:10:35 PM with a score of 31877

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7 months ago
Did she really read through a million words just so she could flip her hair and say that? Dedication.

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7 months ago

No interesting comments, I'm afraid, but a very interesting profile page! ^_^

Welsh:

Hey.You took an interest in me/my game? Well, I got nothing much to tell about myself.

I’m 16.Depressed and Suicidal.(Ah Shit.Here We Go Again).Yeah,yeah I know,it’s not something new but I’ve been this way from as long as I can remember.I’ve felt no other emotions other than pain and rage.I keep on existing and droning on as I don’t wanna just blip off like a sad sack of shit.Growing up in Asia or India for that matter puts quite a lot of pressure on success and taking care of your family.Frankly I couldn’t care less about both of those things.In the long run neither will matter as you will return to dust.That led me to have a single goal that makes me wake up in the morning.To have as much as fun possible and pay back the money that my parents have invested on me times 3.They deserve the profit.

I think that I’ve a good amount of intellect.(That sounds like a self jerkoff I know).But the way I’ve seen things come by in my life like Olympiad medals , Problem solving skills, Many online iq tests(I dunno if they are reliable at all considering one showing it to be 130-140 and the other showing 120<).I am generally passive and uncaring at all as , Dude ,you’ve got one life and one only (Seriously,reincarnation and afterlife is major bullshit but I don’t judge).Why waste it worrying on infinitismall problems.Honestly the next part is gonna sound like a huge jerkoff.Its pretty hard living with normal people,relating with normal people,and having fun with them.So mostly I try to escape this reality by reading CYOA,Gaming and Anime(Wow,he’s a weeaboo.Boom,his opinions don’t matter)

If you come to my high school for instance , you’d see that I was a lazy joker by my peers,A boy with a lot of potential but fails to utilise it.The latter part always being brought up during results(of examinations).I’d always score just a few (3-7) marks to the toppers and my peers know that I hardly put in effort.This led to an egoistical gap between me and my friends.

I’ve always had an interest in tragedy like Franz Kafka’s Metamorphosis and Tokyo Ghoul(Anime and manga).If I find anything interesting and not too monotonous to complete I go for it.

Reader: Why are you writing all of this here? Ans:I wanted to sum up my existence as a whole.

Youch! I just cut my finger on all that edge. sad

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7 months ago

Lol yeah we were already laughing about it in the Discord.

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7 months ago
It's not the way I would've chosen to introduce myself, but you know what, I kind of have to appreciate a noob decisively establishing themselves as a personality to notice right off the bat. So many just linger in the background among the faceless nobodies not really doing anything.

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7 months ago

Awh, I found another one!

Binladen:

All of you think you know me but you don't know me. Also a lot of you think I'm the same Bin Laden who controls the Taliban, well I am.
However I just want you to know that I am not evil it is you who are evil. So you can live in peace or live in pieces, but please I digress I love making adventure games like everyone else. Allah is on my side because as you can tell by now my games are superior to any one elses.

... Glad to know he survived and found a more creative outlet for his anger. ^_^

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7 months ago
That was me lol. The account info is in a game as an easter egg, I forget what it’s called. I promise I was only using it for good.

Edit: I mean I was the person online; I didn’t make it, or change anything on the profile page.

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7 months ago

Omg, lol. How did I miss this on discord?!

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6 months ago

You're like, crazy...
-- Dilatory on 5/10/2019 10:30:14 PM with a score of 0

Comment on Ogre's masterpiece in educational erotica, Boobs!!!.

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6 months ago

Boobs!!! has some good ones. ^_^

I laughed, I cried, I clicked through it in about twelve seconds without reading anything to get my free point.
-- mizal on 5/4/2019 2:44:48 PM with a score of 0

I laughed so hard I cried. I’ve taken up beekeeping now. Bees are my passion. And my life. And my love.
-- At_Your_Throat on 5/4/2019 3:19:12 PM with a score of 0

This story is a true masterpiece. I now know so much more about bees and boobs than I could ever have dreamed. And yes, I fapped.
-- RealKuriosIasoun on 5/4/2019 6:38:33 PM with a score of 0

best game ever m8 i r8 8/8 m8 no h8 m8
-- Chris113022 on 5/5/2019 6:16:17 PM with a score of 0

Orge is a tranny CONFIRMED.
-- WouldntItBeNice on 5/6/2019 9:10:24 PM with a score of 0

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6 months ago

This one's a fun little mystery:

The Price of Freedom: Innocence Lost

Pqp eu falici bacana mano 
Fui mto besta tbm, nenhum pouco diferente da vida real ;-;
-- EmmeOrpheus on 5/14/2019 12:49:43 PM with a score of 0

 

... Translation:

Bitch that gave birth, I died nigga!
I've been a mta beast too, no different from real life.

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6 months ago
Google translate seems to think falici might be meant to be felici, in which case they're opening with 'I congratulate, cool/nice'.

It's possible to derive many, many different meanings depending on how you break this up for the translator.

I'd have assumed that someone who could read the story in English could also write a comment in English, but it's more fun this way. At least until someine who actually speaks Portuguese comes along and translates it as something boring.

e: I congratulate my dear hand?

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6 months ago
Mano is either hand, or if it's by itself comes out as 'bro'.


For the last section I got 'I was really stupid, no different from real life.' which seems straightforward enough.

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6 months ago

Awh. I liked the version with nigga better. cheeky

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6 months ago

This was one of the funniest things I've read in a long time.

As a former mta beast myself, I can confirm that my in game experience was no different than what I experienced in real life.

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6 months ago

I'm really baffled that they translated "mto" to "mta"... But meh, google translate is weird. cheeky

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6 months ago

"mano"

bro

"Fui mto besta tbm"

I've been really bad/stupid, too.

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6 months ago

Okay, so it looks like a more accurate translation would be; "Fucking hell, I died bro! I was stupid, no different from real life."

... Shame. The comment's not funny now that it makes sense. cheeky

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6 months ago
Dovin Baan on 5/14/2019 for Eternal [delete]
UR STORY IS GAY FUCKING GARBAGE ,YOU NERDY SHIT.


Surprised End missed this one.

e: lol, lately I'm really starting to understand why French Canadians have the reputation they do.

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6 months ago

Oh I saw it, I just didn’t find it very inspired and I figured it might just be Spadie or someone similar pissed at me as usual.

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6 months ago
Given the location, my guess would be Exeld.

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6 months ago

I sure hope so.

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6 months ago

Why do you assume it was someone you banned? Is it not possible that somebody just thinks your game is gay nerdy shit? cheeky

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6 months ago

I didn't ban Excelsheet, and I'm guessing you missed the incident that occurred in the discord.

He was some French Canadian CoGite that got pissy with Mizal then he got pissy with me.

Here: http://chooseyourstory.com/forums/the-lounge/message/25274

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6 months ago

I always find it funny how people get SO offended that someone would dare suggest that they write something for a writing community. cheeky

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6 months ago


Let's be clear though; he was not upset.

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6 months ago

why did i just read all of this

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6 months ago
Only you can answer that

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6 months ago

But I can't

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6 months ago
Do you want the links to the previous three?

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6 months ago

No, I can find them if I want to XD

But I may not want to after seeing this

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6 months ago
I posted them almost on the top of the thread, you can't miss them. And trust me, you do want to read them. They're great!

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6 months ago

On "Sir Osis"

Nice game!
I wanted a storm of crickets that attacked him though... wait, what?
-- BgirlStories on 5/18/2019 8:16:27 PM

A storm of crickets is always a good idea.

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6 months ago

Were you possessing her at the time? cheeky

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6 months ago
*backs away from her*
I would never do such a thing. Don't be ridiculous. Do you think I even have that level of power?

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6 months ago

Well, EndMaster did adopt you... Perhaps he saw the potential for eeeeeevil! cheeky

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6 months ago

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6 months ago

Mwahaha ^_^

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6 months ago
Slinking on 5/25/2019 for Bestist Frend Jane [delete]
While this story is emotional and well-written, I feel it is too harsh on single motherhood, given the fact that all the examples in this story, namely Jane and the boy, had negative experiences. I know single mothers and they work their ass off to provide for their kids. I know it is far from an ideal environment for them, but the portrayal of single parenting is way too harsh in this story.


Oh boy, single moms. Ask me what I think about them sometime when I'm not at work. :)

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6 months ago

Because, obviously, that story was billing itself as the universal experience of all single mothers everywhere.

This reminds me of a comment that was passed to me years ago when I was heading a volunteer program called "Adopt a Wildland." After a brief write-up appeared in a regional magazine highlighting this and other volunteer stewardship opportunities, someone wrote a letter to the editor objecting to the use of the word "adopt," stating that it trivialized the process of adopting a child. Because apparently this guy had recently gone through that process, and he needed to let us know.

Suffice it to say, I didn't feel the need to respond. But it highlighted to me the point that no matter what anyone might say or do, there is someone out there who will find offense in it.

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6 months ago
Lol That shared experience is the whole reason Jane and Billy became such fast friends.

The more I think about this comment, the more I want to PM them and say "Sorry, but this isn't the real world where everyone is perfect and always farts rainbows . This is fiction!"

I won't, though. I'll just take the comment in stride and laugh at them for having such a narrow existence.

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6 months ago
I think I am understanding your hatred more now

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6 months ago

People just don't understand how hard it is! I mean you give this kid your heart and soul, and then the floozy just goes screwing around with some five year old fuck-boi who seduces her with soda pops, then the next thing you know, they've buggered off on a road trip together! Some times you just gotta choke a bitch! >.<

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6 months ago

I know the term "fuck boy" has a mildly different meaning now and it just means some dude that some girl uses to fuck, but I'm sorry whenever I hear the term I'm always going to associate it with some sort of prison bitch terminology.

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6 months ago
It's both in the secret Ending XI.

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6 months ago

On Love SICK. Mostly amused because of the censoring of fuck (suck?).

What the $uck!? End's mind's is truly twisted. Which is pretty awesome! Okay, I was led to believe this was a love story. I guess it was, but to me it was more about mental illness and maybe some inbreeding. Bravo. I am very disgusted. It takes alot to accomplish that. I respect that quality in a person.
-- oraclemache on 5/25/2019 3:45:44 PM

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6 months ago

Oh god, Oracle ended up reading Love SICK. I warned her not to!

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6 months ago

She rated it a 6 which is only 1 point lower than your own rating. I'm not surprised she didn't mind it though.

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6 months ago

I actually thought it was incredibly twisted and a sign of a deeply disturbed mind.  I am obviously referencing love sick and it's infamous author End Master.  I was incredibly repulsed by the gore, and obvious dark kinks. I was only disappointed in the length. However in retrospect, one can only be killed so many times. You kill them to death once usually.  From that perspective, End did what he could with the material and characters.  I would have maybe thrown in a Jehovah witness our two.  My uncle is a witness, and he is a hypocrite. So it would have been personally satisfying. 

The reason I rated the 6 was because of the length. I enjoyed it so much, I wanted more! I really was deeply offended, and that is awesome! I am aware I repeat myself. Oracle the Repeater and great mouth of bad grammer, and spelling, and run on sentences. 

whistle click 

oracle

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6 months ago

I do not cuss dammit. I had to sensor $uck for the youth of the site. I don't understand why we all have to have a potty mouth and fucking cuss all the time dammit! :) 

yeah, I am lame. your right.

 

Interesting comments 4

6 months ago

Darthvader_13's Dead End

Seth says MEH! I got all 10 missions done easily.

-- SethIsBeast on 11/3/2012 7:17:52 PM with a score of 120

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6 months ago

EndMaster's Death Song

wow the lich king doesn't even bury you....ashole

-- Shades on 3/5/2016 4:08:27 PM

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6 months ago

Dead Man Walking

Too long and quite boring the choices are unoriginal and not much fun, writing ain't great either
-- Skeltro105 on 5/23/2019 10:50:03 AM with a score of 2260

One bad story all togather the writing is AWFUL i hope this story is buried under ratings of 1
-- keelbud on 5/28/2019 10:24:29 AM with a score of 1060


Unusual to see Berka’s story get negative comments so close together.

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6 months ago

Dead Man Walking is almost as shitty as Eternal. Those games will never like up to masterpieces like Boobs!!!

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6 months ago

EndMaster's Imagination

i love roblox then reading :} :) :> :]

-- geust 666 on 8/17/2018 11:45:09 AM

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6 months ago

Paradise Violated

Some things seemed kind of sudden but it was still jam packed with lore and interesting concepts. Also this was the only story if yours I read that didn't contain some kind of rape... Or maybe I just didn't find it yet. -- LoudbutSilent on 5/29/2019 9:33:19 AM

I think there's a bit implied when you get the ending where your whole team devolves into primitives. At the very least you're taking your rival's woman as a reward after you kill him.

Plus blue skinned alien girl violently fucks you TO DEATH which is sort of rapey on her part, but you thought she was some goddess that was giving you another reward, so it balances out I guess.

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6 months ago

your the worst writer and it was too long it took me 100 years to finish this story

-- jacklevop liuyt

There are a lot of things that I can type, but I won’t do it because I’m not that mean. yes I am

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6 months ago

I saw these posted on a new game today and was absolutely tickled. I highlighted my favorite. Their comments on their own game is more entertaining than the game itself.

 

Spanish in South America

a School-Based by S1714811, S1705355, and s1951340

 

Player Comments

It was pretty good, and probably one of the most interesting here.

-- S1714811 on 4/30/2019 3:17:31 PM with a score of 0

It was too short and too much reading. Overall, it was a very good presntation.

-- S1714811 on 4/30/2019 3:15:08 PM with a score of 0

It was interesting to choose where to go and make your own choices. It was told in someone's point of view that made it fun.

-- S1714811 on 4/30/2019 3:09:13 PM with a score of 0

It was good, it just needed some more info about the topic

-- S1714811 on 4/30/2019 3:05:21 PM with a score of 0

It was a very clever idea.??

-- S1714811 on 4/30/2019 3:02:09 PM with a score of 0

Didnt understand s

-- S1714811 on 4/30/2019 2:56:26 PM with a score of 0

Creative!

-- S1705355 on 4/30/2019 2:05:19 PM with a score of 0

yes

-- S1714811 on 4/30/2019 2:04:35 PM with a score of 0

Interesting comments 4

6 months ago

Weird that the guy left bad reviews on his own game... Wondering if maybe he got some of his friends to review it, but stayed logged into his own account while they played it? frown

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6 months ago
I think that's just multiple kids commenting from the same school computer without realizing it's still logged in. The highlighted one is hilarious though.

No idea why they randomly decided to publish this a month after writing it but I'm taking it down.

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6 months ago

Obviously, they needed a month to craft a masterpiece...

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6 months ago

I decided to increase the hilarity by deleting the story and banning all three of them.

 

Interesting comments 4

6 months ago

F in the chat

They will be missed

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6 months ago

Well now their teacher's going to have to come in and give you a very stern talking to. cheeky

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6 months ago

I sure hope so, it was equally amusing the last time a teacher got pissed with me.

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6 months ago
On the now unpublished 'Science Fiction PRoject'.

Trash. Trash. Trash. Delete the game and ditch the "writer" who wrote this trash.

But thanks for the free point!

(FYI: This review took longer to write than the story did.)
-- Bill_Ingersoll on 6/5/2019 7:07:27 PM with a score of 0


It took Bill a little while, but he's really starting to fit in now. I'm proud of him.

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6 months ago
Always nice to see that happen.

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6 months ago

It's nice to feel appreciated! Now, if people would only read & rate Giri Minor, as the last review was from 5/22...

(...and with much appreciation for those who have already done so!)

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6 months ago
Oh, oh dear.
That's a lot to ask there.

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6 months ago

I've been told many times I'm a difficult person.

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6 months ago
Well, I started yours but left it until I was in a better mood for a story of that kind--as I am not overly fond of the genre and wouldn't want to be unfair to it by going in already bored with it.
However, reading and reviewing mine which has not had a review since May TWENTY-FIRST would probably give me just enough guilt to make reading "Giri Minor" a higher priority for me.

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6 months ago

Challenge accepted. We should be equally matched, as I am not overly fond (as you say) of the fantasy genre.

I am a sucker for a good story in the "Cave of Time" format, though.

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6 months ago
Excellent. I'll get back to it after whatever gay spewing by Steve I am in tje middle of right now.
EndMaster's stories are in that format, and he has a lot that aren't fantasy too, if you're looking for something good to read sometime. Paradise Violated is really good, and you might like it.

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5 months ago

Eternal

Got as far as the "mistress" stuff. Tried to get through it. Got to the "fight" scene. What the damn hell.

-- Heather on 6/11/2019 4:33:48 PM with a score of 0

Lol

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5 months ago
And this is one of the reasons I can't wait to finish my epic. You're still getting reactions out of people like this years later, I love it.

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5 months ago

Necromancer

Among the best games of the century and possibly other centuries as well, Necromancer should be mandatory reading for posting on the forums. When you are don reading it, go read Death Song. Dreggnion can suck a dick, because this is great stuff.

-- WWS on 6/12/2019 3:19:00 AM

Just posting this one here so I can ask, who the hell is Dreggnion? I looked for the name under the user search and I looked to see if there was a driveby guest that commented under that name, but I didn't find anything.

I also thought I saw this name mentioned in the Discord when I was scanning through it a day or so ago.

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5 months ago
I've only seen it in Discord and figured then it was just another Great Old One from one of Sentinel's world building thingos. He'd be the one to ask, anyway.

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5 months ago

It is. Or, at least, I thought it was? Is somebody else using that name?

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5 months ago

I just saw a driveby guest using it for the Speedrunning story.

1/8 NOT ENOUGH MEAT

-- Dreggnion on 6/12/2019 3:23:09 AM with a score of 4

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5 months ago

Somebody in the discord must be playing tricks, unless I've mentioned Dreggnion here. That is his gimmick, but unless I got drunk and started rating random stories with voices in my head I think I would remember this

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5 months ago
Yeah it's definitely someone who read your Cooking Simulator LP. BUT, you did rate that one with your own account two minutes after the drive-by....

Shit, it's worse than I can feared. Sentinel, we are going to have to immerse you in boiling avocado oil to perform the exorcism.

Interesting comments 4

5 months ago

Wait! We don't have to do anything drastic!... Maybe I just have some sort of weird spiderbot following me whenever I read something that reviews storygames using phrases that I type a lot? We should really check to make sure nobody brought in any adware. Maybe Bo infected us again.

Interesting comments 4

5 months ago
Does the IP match anyone in Discord? Could be Coins trolling again.

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5 months ago

If it's not considered improper to self-nominate on this thread, this excerpt from a review I wrote for "Will of the Lord" by @ShoujoAddict the other night still tickles me. Basically, I was defending his use of dialog against another review that said something to the effect that dialog should be brief and serve only to advance the plot.

 

If that comment were true, then the entire novel "A Farewell to Arms" could be reduced to six lines, as follows:

Him: "Hey nurse, you want to have sex?"

Her: "Yeah, sure, that sounds like fun. Not like there's anything else to do in a hospital."

Him: "You know what? War sucks. Let's row a boat to Switzerland in the middle of the night."

Her: "I'm pregnant."

Her: "Scratch that. I'm dying."

Him: "Bummer."

Interesting comments 4

5 months ago

Never read Farewell to Arms before, but... Got to say this abridged version was a thing of beauty... The sheer tragedy of it... I think I'm welling up a bit. crying

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5 months ago

On Tales From the Basement

That anime part was accurate. Great now I'm feeling depressed. I think I'm gonna go dunk my face in a toilet or something... -- ShoujoAddict on 10/23/2018 8:41:16 AM

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5 months ago

Lol, took a year to find its way in this thread. Mission accomplished!

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4 months ago

Comments on zombie29's terrible story, Into Hell, at the request of Cricket.


OMG. Dis story= da best ting me eva hear. Pls let ma learn from u. My poo poo brain no comprehend da levels of amazement I feeling.
-- Serpent on 7/23/2019 9:41:58 PM
everything about this was so retarded, I can't even begin to go into all the details.

I really felt like I went Into Hell.

STORYGAME HELL
-- corgi213 on 7/23/2019 11:56:00 AM
This is garbage
-- RealKuriosIasoun on 7/22/2019 9:42:30 PM
Updated review:

So after posting my prior review, the author contacted me and stated that an updated version of the story was now available.

So yeah, the writer was concerned about the feedback I provided and responded quickly, so that alone made an impression on me. The first page of the story provides a completely different set-up than before, making the overall story a bit more consistent. Previously, "you" were an investigative journalist, which didn't explain anything that followed.

Now, "you" are a low-level employee of a company that does genetic experimentation, so the subsequent pages are noticeably less jarring.

That said, the set-up on the first page isn't matched as far as the pacing goes on the subsequent pages. I go from being a nobody in some shady corporation to calling the shots for the military in a remarkably short amount of time. The writer does seem to have some talent in describing action through dialog, but the segues from introduction to climax are way too abrupt. First, I'm deciding whether or not I want coffee, next I'm calling in a napalm strike. It seems like there should be something more between those plot points than just a 911 call.

Also, as a resident of New York State, I feel duty-bound to point out one thing:

No ship with the prefix HMS has sailed the Hudson River since the 1770s. In fact, I drove across the upper Hudson River twice today to/from a board meeting, and there were no British ships in sight. Just sayin'.
-- Bill_Ingersoll on 7/21/2019 12:08:48 AM
I went into this expecting a 1 rating just by the story description, and I wasn't disappointed. "It was raining outside and i could also see thunder," I was informed on the first page. My character "lived at home," which of course is where most people lived. The spiders in the cheese sandwich were small in the cafeteria, but when I call 911 I tell the operator I say they're the size of a house. And then the operator is flung through the window in front of me. Why was I calling someone who was in the same room as me?

In other words:

Come one, come all, get your free point before this gets taken down.
-- Bill_Ingersoll on 7/20/2019 5:23:46 PM

Zombie29's butthurt reply to my review:

"that's harsh considering all the work i put into it. i will not tolerate non constructive reviews"

He's not gonna tolerate it guys, send help!

Interesting comments 4

4 months ago
It's true, Z-29 seems to think this story is all that and a bag of chips. I agree there is some small inkling of creativity in the story, but the author demonstrates an overall lack of patience to develop an actual plot, and he possesses nothing more than a phone-addict's knowledge of spelling and grammar. There are 2 or 3 pages in the story where I see some kind of hidden talent maybe wanting to try and show itself, but the rest is just too rushed and random to be interesting and engaging.

If Z-29 can't be bothered to take the time to develop his ideas into a finished story, why does he expect the rest of us to use our imaginations and pretend that we're reading one? And that does indeed seem to be his expectation. I got several messages from him as well... slightly less butthurt in tone, but he is clearly affected by criticism. Maybe he was expecting a participation trophy?

But thanks for preserving these comments for us. It's a shame when trash gets unpublished, and all of these humorous reviews are lost forever.

Interesting comments 4

4 months ago
I think it's impressive that you put more effort into the review than he put into the game ^_^

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4 months ago
I dunno, when the kid contacted me to say he revised the story based on my first comment, I felt obliged to take a second look.

It's too bad the comments from the "Guessing Game" didn't get preserved for posterity. I saw that was gone this morning, too.

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4 months ago
Both games were unpublished, but looks like Zombie deleted his. Rage quits happen, oh well.

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4 months ago
We were probably all just cretins incapable of understanding and appreciating that fine work of art. After all, as Z-29 said, he worked so hard on that masterpiece known as "Into Hell."

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4 months ago

But wait, there's more!

Z-29 wasn't so butthurt about the response to the first story that he was discouraged from publishing a second masterpiece. Even better, this one's a demo! Behold, I present to you:

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/mercy-(demo)

Interesting comments 4

4 months ago
I just banned this guy so we can move on now. I tried to help him but his brand of Emotional Meltdown at commentors isn't going to bring him anything but grief here, and you know what, I just am not in the mood today.

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4 months ago
Actually, I changed my mind.

The recipient of the all caps screaming and violent threats has a natural scientific curiosity as to how these things will be carried out on an anonymous person over the internet, as do we all. Will be monitoring this situation as it progresses.

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4 months ago
Awh! I wanna see the all caps screaming and violent threats! ^_^

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4 months ago
Ah, yes. It had been too long.
Thank you for your service, Kurio.

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4 months ago
Reginawolf on 7/24/2019 for Death Song [delete]
It has a lot of reading which isent that bad, but the first time, I got in hell with big red to play music forever. I kinda a wish there were pictures in eny of the stories in this website.

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4 months ago

I wish I could have pooped on this story and bit the author

--  RealKuriosIasoun on 7/29/2019 4:05:05 PM

This one made me laugh. But I'm a little grossed out. 

 

 

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4 months ago
Kinky

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4 months ago

This was unpublished for low ratings, please try again to meet minimum site standards with a new, different story. If this gets published again it will be Old Yellared behind a barn,

-- mizal on 7/30/2019 8:55:29 PM

 

There you go again with your old person references...

Knowing that that the Old Yeller outcome is a foregone conclusion, please do make it a public execution for the illumination and entertainment of us all.

Interesting comments 4

4 months ago
Lennied would be a suitable substitute. He can tend the rabbits in CYS heaven. ^_^

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4 months ago
I laughed.

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4 months ago
A dog reference was more appropriate, given the story.

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4 months ago

I’m kinda scared now.

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4 months ago

No need to be scared--just write an intelligent story. If anybody here cared about the random shit that occurred in some teenaged brain, we could go to Reddit or something.

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4 months ago
What he said. Or maybe hold off on writing a story at all for a while. Writing detailed reviews might help you practice and get an idea of what you do and don't like in stories.

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4 months ago

Just remember, the Internet is not your mother. We're not here to tell you you're awesome and that your story is wonderful, no matter how much it sucks.

If you want praise, get to work and earn it. If you want your ego stroked, go somewhere else.

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4 months ago
You can post example pages of whatever you're working on in the writing forum, or just all general questions and get feedback and advice just fyi. Just hitting publish and throwing something out there leaves it more open to getting brutalized since it's being presented as a finished product.

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4 months ago

On my story Edithe Zilonis:

needs more of her name. I didn't realise her name was Edithe Zilonis until the end. was not clear enough. thank u

-- Edithe Zilonis on 8/3/2019 8:34:17 AM with a score of 0

I think also the same person who rated her own story a two. I guess I'll have to be more clear next time :~(

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3 months ago

The Manliest of Man

Nah, this is crap. Give this story a 1 rating and hope it dies a silent death. It's not even worth a detailed review.

-- Bill_Ingersoll on 8/19/2019 11:28:01 PM with a score of 0

No, on second thought, I will review this.

This story is the type of shit that comes out of a pubescent mind... from the type of person who thinks his own jokes are funny. But more importantly, this is how Serpent wants to see himself. Remember all those duel attempts in the forum recently, where Serpent spent an entire day challenging a bunch of nobodies to make himself look better by comparison? So here he with a story where he fancies himself dressing up like EndMaster, walking into town, and winning a duel with the "sharif". Next he rapes the body, and then deputy... and I'll leave it to your imagination which mod he's fantasizing about there.

This is a "story" that's about six feet deep in an eighth grader's sexual fantasies, and completely devoid of quality.

-- Bill_Ingersoll on 8/19/2019 11:39:02 PM with a score of 0

Lol.

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3 months ago

I had a hunch you would like that.

Nevertheless, that is my honest assessment of Serpent's story.

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3 months ago
I raped the sharif... But I also raped the deputy ^_^

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3 months ago

I will agree that that story is a steaming pile of shit. Though I don't understand why you think that this has anything to do with the mods. In any case I can say for sure that the thought of it being interpreted like that never crossed my mind. 

 

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3 months ago

The opening line in the story was about the guy walking in dressed in a big black robe, and the very first thing I thought (literally 5 seconds into the story) was, "Oh, this is EndMaster." And then all the rapefests occurred. It wasn't hard to connect the dots... and an eighth grader is not a hard nut to crack.

There's no need to deny your fantasies. You've laid them bare for us all to see and have a good laugh at.

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3 months ago

That is not true at all. This started out as a story about someone being a edgy overpowered badass. Hence the name and robe. Though due to deadlines and poor planning that was not the end product.

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3 months ago
Stop making excuses for the shit quality. You had the same deadline as everyone else.

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3 months ago
No, it started and finished as a self-insert story for you and your bizarre fantasies about raping people while dressed as EndMaster.

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3 months ago

A total of 12 stories were submitted for this same contest, one of them with 33,000 words and an actual plot! It took me 4 or 5 hours to read it. I've read several high-quality stories so far, and everyone faced the same deadline you did. Therefore your argument holds no water with me.

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3 months ago
Well tbf I didn't get that impression when I read it and neither did Endmaster. Black robes are pretty standard edgelord attire.

The story might have been actually funny if it had been what you read it as and we could have all had a good laugh after banning him. As it is it's just a lazy pile of shit best forgotten about, and AYT remains the only one who's ever written erotic fiction about site members. (Well, the only one who's posted it in public anyway...)

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3 months ago

Granted, it's an interpretation... but it really is the one I came away with. It fit the pattern of his forum behavior.

Now, is it true? Damned if I know. But think about the age we're dealing with here; fantasies can manifest themselves without the writer trying very hard. After all, Serpent himself admits he intended to do something more worthy of praise, but this is what he felt compelled to give us. What he wanted to do didn't inspire him to write, but some other idea did. 

was hoping to provoke a few responses from Serpent about it, since we no longer have the story itself, but I guess that train has left the station...

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3 months ago
I'd rather see people discussing the stories that are actually good tbh. But this happens every time someone posts hilariously bad garbage I suppose, it can't be avoided. (Well, not accusations of writing admin porn, that's new.)

Anyhow I've told Serpent we won't be requiring any more stories from him, he can just stick to reviews until he's 18.

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3 months ago

Wait I posted the same thing twice. Ignore this comment

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3 months ago

The Manliest Man

This is gay.

No, that's not enough. Rather, it is SUPER FUCKING GAY. So gay it makes Malk seem straight.

And just to make it clear, it's not the good kind of gay, or the neutral kind, or even the bad kind of gay. No, it's the kind of horrific gay that everyone would hate; all the way from SJWs to the alt right faggots.

The only nice thing I can say about this story is that it made people stab their eyes out. But I'm the only person who could see some good in that.

You've ruined my vacation. Fuck you. 1/8

-- Mayana on 8/20/2019 7:25:07 AM with a score of 0

yes

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3 months ago

The final fuck you in particular was very funny for some reason.

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3 months ago
I asked for a 500 word review on Paper-Mache, I got 1200 instead: It was very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very 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very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very 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very very very very very very very good. -- Chanbot on 8/27/2019 9:48:42 PM with a score of 0[delete][feature] Cute, and almost funny. But it will not save your soul from Hell.

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3 months ago

Why, this review is shameful! ... There should be a comma after every "very"

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3 months ago
I think the lack of commas was an intentional stylistic choice that accentuates the childish enthusiasm brought on by the story.

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2 months ago

In the schizophrenic review category:

Battlefield Commander: Ancient Warfare

this story was kind of short and and boring but i really truley like it it was the best story ive ever readed i give it a 10 out of 10 definetly read it it was awesome will you consider reading it please!

-- jocelynne on 9/6/2019 9:47:39 AM with a score of 720

This, folks, is scientific proof that boring stories are awesome. We should write more of them!

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2 months ago

Sorry, I missed that point as I was too busy convulsing over the amount of double words. >.<

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2 months ago
did every ending -- Zarlox on 9/13/2019 9:24:33 AM [delete][feature] aw -- Zarlox on 9/13/2019 9:23:15 AM [delete][feature] yeah -- Zarlox on 9/13/2019 9:22:17 AM [delete][feature] come on -- Zarlox on 9/13/2019 9:17:52 AM [delete][feature] rats again -- Zarlox on 9/13/2019 9:16:50 AM [delete][feature] rats -- Zarlox on 9/13/2019 9:16:31 AM [delete][feature] Such raw emotion, expressed live in real time. @Zarlox You've played all those zombie stories but not the best one. When are you tackling Dead Man Walking?

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2 months ago
kinda too long to read
Dead Man Walking (Zombie Survival)
sylvieallain19 (Score of 1260)
9/24/2019 2:06:59 PM

---

I mean what were we thinking? Asking someone to actually read words on a writing site! Fah!

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2 months ago

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2 months ago
Personally I can only read 160 words in one go before words stop working.

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2 months ago

I wonder if I could write a game that had no more than 16 words per route and still make it interesting and vivid.

...

I think I'm going to do this.

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2 months ago
Jeez.

Added a zero just to give you a fighting chance.

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2 months ago

You say that, but I think the truth was spoken first time around.  If I go over 16, I'll lose probably 90% of my audience, and we can't have that.

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2 months ago

Will there be pictures? ^_^

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2 months ago

No, those would count as 1000 words each.  So I can't.

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2 months ago

Eternal

Your writing style is very impressive and your ability to create intricate storylines is amazing. my favorite part is the one with the thumb thumbs and how they were so easily defeated by the MC(maincharacetr) I am peeing all over my

-- Sani C on 9/25/2019 6:00:12 AM with a score of 0

Never mind that I have no idea what he’s referring to with “thumb thumbs” but now we’ll never know what he was peeing on!

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2 months ago
His phone, I'd assume. He shorted it out mid sentence.

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2 months ago

Kelly Unicornstrider

THE PAGE DON'T LET ME PUT MY REVIEW

This is my favorite review.

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2 months ago

Someone should really fix that page. ^_^

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2 months ago

I blame the thumb thumbs.

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2 months ago

It's not the thumb thumbs fault that Sani C treated them like a 14 year old at an R Kelly concert.

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2 months ago

A Private Game For Natalie

Gower, how many times do I have to tell you? I am NOT your fucking girlfriend! I tried being nice to you in college because I felt sorry for you and spent the rest of my life regretting it. All you did was tell me that everything I liked was stupid and try to get me to play your nerdy little computer games. I hate computer games, I’m not interested in those creepy true-crime documentaries, and I don’t want to join your little Magic the Gathering club!

Besides, we haven’t even been friends in like 20 years! I blocked you on everything after you started telling everyone that we were dating, even though you knew I was going out with Quinn. Then you just turned into a full blown crazy stalker! You know, me and my friends used to get together and laugh at all that shitty poetry you wrote me, and then burn them after we were done. I’m not your soul-mate Gower. I don’t even like you! I thought I made that VERY clear at Darren’s party after the little incident with the toenail in the birthday cake.

And what the hell is this shit about you love me when I’m asleep and you love watching me eat breakfast? You know the terms of the restraining order! You’re not allowed within fifty feet of me or my house. I’m going to be showing this game to the cops, so expect a visit from them soon.

Now, for the love of God, will you please leave me alone? I’m happy. I’m married. I have three beautiful kids and I don’t want anything to do with you. Never contact me again.

-- Natalie on 9/25/2019 9:55:02 AM with a score of 2

This is like the best comment ever.

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2 months ago

... Tehehe ^_^

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2 months ago

I know.  There was like one second where I paused and tried to remember what reality I was in.

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2 months ago

Wait, you didn't write it? Interesting. . .

checks logs

Interesting. . .

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2 months ago

... Tehehehehe ^_^

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2 months ago
This is incredible.

I feel like I should leave it a mystery but I know I don't have the willpower for that, bbiab after I give in immediately and look it up.

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2 months ago

... ... ... Tehehehehehehe?

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2 months ago
Yes Briar, do you have anything to share with the class?

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2 months ago

No Ma'am. :(

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2 months ago
Gower responded by the way.

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2 months ago

Maybe if she had scored higher than a 2, she'd be willing to lift the restraining order...?

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2 months ago

The plot thickens! ^_^

Natalie, please, don't be like that. It's one thing that I messed up and published the game, but it's another thing to say those lies about me in the comments.

We told me once that you loved me, and that you're scared of everything. That you are scared of what you saw, of what you did, of who you are, and that most of all, you were scared of walking out of this room and never feeling the rest of your whole life the way you feel when you're with me. Now, I don't what you're going to say, that you *said* those things in character during our freshman year performance of Dirty Dancing, where you were playing Baby, and I was doing sound and lighting, but you looked kind of up towards me when you said it. I knew you meant it to me.

It's just harsh to say that stuff so openly in the comments. People are going to see it and judge me, and I've tried hard to cultivate an aura of a nice guy. There's no such thing as getting too close to someone when you love them, and to me, that includes restraining orders.

And I respect your relationship with Quinn, honestly, I do. It's like the two women I love the most together, and you're both so happy, and when you love people all you want is for them to be happy. I just want to make sure you both are is all. Nobody knows how you like to be touched better than me, certainly not Quinn, granted it's hard to tell the specifics from a distance, especially after Quinn watched that thing about how you're supposed to put a little piece of tape over your webcam. But that's all just minor matters.

The important thing, Natalie, is 20 years. Twenty years! You can't throw that away. We used to sit around and relax in the dorm and watch old reruns of Kelly Unicornstrider and Friends, and laugh and eat popcorn together. We didn't let what other people said affect us. The world melted away, and only we existed.

So please, please take this crazy idea that I'm harassing you off the forum, unblock me, respond to me. I'm right here. And we'll *be* here, together in this comment list, forever, after we're dead, after this world is dead, and all that's left is some old server humming, our names will be near each other, and the electrons that represent me will love the electrons that represent you, and my electrons will cross into your atoms and I will be part of you again, although some weird extra-electron molecule that will probably fry the server, but still, my Natalie, even so.

-- Gower on 9/25/2019 4:43:20 PM with a score of 0

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2 months ago

Nice touch making Quinn female.

Now that he’s harassing a lesbian couple, he really looks like some nice guy full of toxic masculinity on the brink of full blown inceldom.

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2 months ago
The bit about putting the tape over the webcam is what broke me.

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2 months ago

Yeah, now I'm kind of confused about Quinn. There was a non-clickable option that implied that Natalie had "experience" with Quinn, but if you explore around the other paths, it mentions that Natalie was jealous of Quinn because she was sending love letters to Gower... This is a fascinating little triangle going on here. ^_^

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2 months ago

There are three "non-clickable" links in the game, which you can only get to if you choose the initial "checking you out" path at the start.

The Floyd path opens if Natalie was into the narrator checking her out; the Quinn path opens up if Natalie was; the Cassie path opens up for either way.

Those three paths have the most ridiculous stories, I think.

I gated them that way because I wanted Natalie to have some small agency over whether she wanted some sex stories told to her.

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2 months ago

And now I must play the game again! ^_^

Edit: Wow! This little love triangle only gets more and more complicated. Turns out it wasn't Natalie that had a thing with Quinn, it was Gower! (Which was confusing because the choice was phrased as "The only real experience I'd had was with Quinn, I guess." When in all of the other choices, "I" refers to Natalie and "You" refers to Gower... Minus points for lack of consistency!)

But if you unlock the Quinn choice and follow it... Turns out the bitch is dead! So... I guess Natalie ended up marrying and having three kids with her creepy stalker's ex-girlfriend lesbian ghost? ... Good for her. ^_^

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2 months ago

Hm, you're right.  That should be "you."  Ah well.

Clearly Quinn escaped from that fire, fueled wholly by her desire for Natalie and sought her out years later.  It's very romantic!

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2 months ago

And used the combined might of their vaginas to make three beautiful babies. ^_^

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2 months ago

They are adopted, obviously, and also by a weird coincidence, "The Combined Might of their Vaginas" is the name of my next game.  It's historical fiction.

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2 months ago
I'm interested.
I--I like historical fiction, you see.

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2 months ago

Is that the one that's only going to be 16 words long, for mizal's sake? Sounds epic.

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2 months ago

Sorry, I stopped reading after your sixteenth word, so I don't know how it sounds.

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one month ago

Gower already posted this over in Risk My Attention, but I figured it belonged here too. ^_^

Forgotten Magician by Piyarad

>Be then about 17 years old.

>friends and family annouce me as 'Fat Bastard'.

>I don't apreciate that nickname. However, for sharts and gargles I laugh too, all the times.

>Jokes evolve and become more damaging to me. "He is unnatractive because of eexagerated proportions". "He cannot stroke his own penis". "He is a truck loaded with shit and failed dreams".

>continue to laugh with them, being a beta version male that i be.

>new years eve.

>some maiden in our home made turkey. a bird we eat here.

>because of various foods, the people at my lair didn't eight the totality of the bird.

>the folowing morning, some mayonnaise was trown in the turkey.

>friends and family joke that I, being the Fat Bastard that I am, Had Sex with the turkey, and thus, the mayonnaise was evidence that I had ejaculated strongly.

>I, once again, jester "It was not me. She was not even my type".

>audience laughs.

>contemplate self termination at a later hour.

-- Anonymous on 10/5/2019 2:33:11 PM with a score of 0

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one month ago

Hank's Journey

Outcome 3 is horrible. Rape isn't funny.

-- Sam42 on 10/13/2019 4:39:29 PM with a score of 0

How did this guy get past the front door of this place?

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one month ago
lol fag

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one month ago
Oh right, THIS is the thread I meant to put this in.

Comment string on http://chooseyourstory.com/story/the-stanley-parable-(fan-made-remake)

To be read bottom to top because I'm too lazy to reorganize these for posting.



I don't even know what to say. Mizal tried to show mercy and you threw a fit and started eating your own shit and beating your chest. So now you're fair game!

So you want a little constructive criticism. Here it is. Your grammar is horrible. You need to be more descriptive, you need more choices, you need to not railroad your readers to specific choices in an attempt to hide that your story is linear.

Cricket already said everything else of worth.

So I guess I'll close this in saying: Good job! You managed to tard up a goddam fanfiction! Now that's impressive!
-- simplesabley on 10/15/2019 4:53:56 PM with a score of 0[delete][feature]



Hell yeah, I missed the free point the first time, thanks smoothbrain.
-- TheChef on 10/15/2019 4:41:39 PM with a score of 0[delete][feature]



So you can't come up with your own idea and just remake a video game into a CYOA.
Not only that, but you blatantly attempt to railroad the reader to specific choices. You even have in the narration that the character (whom you can't seem to decide whether to refer to in second or third person) does something before THEN asking what the reader wants him to do.
That's not a CYOA. That's a shitty copy of the game with an added dose of false promises and an obnoxious lack of capitalization.

Go back to writing Roblox porn or whatever you do when you aren't getting your friends to help write indignant messages in response to the most polite comment you're going to get here. Shit this bad belongs on places like fanfiction.net or other places with no standards where you fucktarded kids belong.

Oh, and stop being a whiny faggot.
-- Cricket on 10/15/2019 4:28:37 PM with a score of 0[delete][feature]



Oh.

You republished this, after I said you really shouldn't.

Well...good luck. Have fun.
-- mizal on 10/15/2019 4:27:18 PM with a score of 0[delete][feature]



this is only my first game, and I would appreciate a little constructive criticism. I understand if it may be bad, but saying why instead of saying so just makes things better for everybody.
-- jjtomlin2007 on 10/15/2019 4:08:34 PM with a score of 0[delete][feature]


awsome
-- jjtomlin2007 on 10/15/2019 4:06:12 PM with a score of 0[delete][feature]



Dude whoever made a mean comment fuck you this is his first game can you at least make him feel better so he can get better. A lot of people like you should just stop people who don't feel good when u do it the feel bad and that makes them stop trying so PLEASE STOP thank you.
-- CORE_big_boi26 on 10/14/2019 1:41:20 PM with a score of 0[delete][feature]



Unpublishing this as an act of mercy towards a literal 12 year old who is too poor to afford a Shift key.

Don't republish it, just come back when you're older and have read enough of those "book" things to know what sentences are supposed to look like.
-- mizal on 10/11/2019 5:04:05 PM with a score of 0[delete][feature]




Ah, takes me back. Gang raping obnoxious children, one of the core principles CYS was founded on. And this is without me even sharing the messages I got.

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23 days ago
I'd like to pour one out for the three feature worthy reviews by beta cucks who wasted their time reading a gigantic story and then giving a novel's worth of phenomenal feedback only to have it instantly deleted. @ShoujoAddict @DaveFaster @Pirate

I'd hope they weren't so easily suckered in the next time, but I mean, look who they are....

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23 days ago

They did a wonderful job I am using in the rewrite of my story. So they didn't waste their time, but to actually rewrite you have to erase and polish.  As the forum don't let edit published games

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23 days ago
This is a weird thing to say, because I'm sure you realize unpublishing and total deletion are two completely different things? You're in the Discord, you've seen stories being unpublished and put back up again after edits many times.

Glad you at least saved the comments somewhere though.

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23 days ago

I Erase the game because the version here was a rushed copy from the Infinity story contest game when I had far less I dea of Cys code.  I will take time to actually pass scenes right and add new content in the proper places during the proper making maybe stats and that way the game won't feel so rushed and confusing . Or at least that's the idea.

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20 days ago
On The Donner Party
Action packed but too much reading -- Victor

The classics never get old.

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13 days ago

Eternal

absolutly sucks
-- goatlord on 11/22/2019 7:37:08 PM with a score of 0


AVSCYS

sucks ass
-- goat lord on 11/22/2019 9:04:49 PM with a score of 0


Alpha Wolf

sucks ass
-- goatlord on 11/22/2019 9:05:42 PM with a score of 0

 

Glad to see he's taking his bannings brought on by his own fucktardery so well. Lol

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12 days ago

Innkeeper

garbage

-- goatlord on 11/23/2019 12:50:19 PM with a score of 0

Oh come on, four stories in and he's already losing steam.

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12 days ago
Next review in a week will just be 'trash', and he won't even have the wit to put it on TRASH.

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5 days ago
aogaerou on 12/1/2019 for Dead Man Walking (Zombie Survival)
Too short



...okay then.

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3 days ago
This is absolutely terrible. I HATE this story. First, it was downright creepy. Second, too much swearing. Third, too much weird sexual stuff. Fourth, and this is the biggest one, WHY THE CRAP DID YOU MAKE FUN OF A RELIGION?!?! IT'S ONE OF THE RUDEST THINGS A PERSON CAN DO! Fifth, it's The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. Not Mormon. We don't worship Mormon. Some think that, so now everyone has to refer to its full name. Thank you for looking at this. Please don't do this in the future.
-- Anonymous on 12/2/2019 12:44:04 AM with a score of 0[delete][feature]


I highly enjoyed this review by this cowardly anonymous faggot, and I'm sure Endmaster will too. Really it makes me want to write my own story to milk some Mormon tears.

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3 days ago
Just checked and I didn't find any alts.

Even better, they're from Utah.

This is indeed a genuine sick little monkey that read all the warnings in the description, read the story anyway while masturbating furiously, then was overcome by Mormon guilt and tried to make up for the nasty by protesting too much.

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3 days ago

Lol.

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2 days ago

The night of terror.

an Edutainment by Patandjenfan33333

 

This book is AWSOME!@

-- Patandjenfan33333 on 12/3/2019 6:45:53 PM with a score of 20

Holy hell. Please make it stop. 

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2 days ago

^

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2 days ago

A parting gift from our gender-fluid 10-year-old noob-troll.

Sixteen Words

Fantasy Adventure by Gower

 

What just happened?|)(|<--Is this a butt or boobs.

-- Patandjenfan33333 on 12/3/2019 5:37:47 PM with a score of 0

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2 days ago
Everyone knows boobs are (.)(.)

Therefore, by process of elimination, my guess is butt.

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2 days ago
Not a very thicc butt. Must not be an elf.

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2 days ago

[Crotchedy old man imitation:]

In my day, we didn't have all these fancy emojis. When we needed a laugh, we'd type 7734 into a digital calculator and turn it upside-down so it looked like hELL.

Endless hours of entertainment!

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2 days ago
That's impressive to do on an abacus.

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yesterday

WHY THE FUCK DID IT HAVE SUCH A SHITTY ENDING SHE FUCKING KILLED US BULLSHIT

The Daemonologists
fuck (Score of 0)
12/4/2019 7:33:36 AM

 

You hate to see it.

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12 hours ago
On Ineptitude 2: This....this...was utter, entire shit. You can tell it was rushed just in time for the deadline. Also seems like wvery other choice leads to a dead end, the game was very short in general. Short, hopefully, like your time here on CYS. Ill enjoy watching you Boogaloo out the door once the community rips you apart for your Ineptitude, noob swine. -- corgi213 on 12/1/2019 9:44:59 AM with a score of 0 Thank you, Corgi. You piece of shit. :D As your older sister, I can only support your decisions to the best of my abilities and wholeheartedly. And with some shred of wholesomeness. Cricket, please return home after whatever this is. Father is worried and mother is drinking again. Yes, this is a roundabout way of saying that your story is umm, bad. I rated it generously only so you may gain some semblance of conscience or regret (hopefully both) and do what you know is right at the end of the day. Yours always, Thara. P.S, I've been renting your bed out to hobos while you were away, so you may want to burn the sheets. Actually, you may want to burn the entire mattress. -- TharaApples on 12/2/2019 1:07:27 AM with a score of 0 Best sister I just like everything Cricket does. The words could all be random pounding on the keyboard for all I care. -- Gower on 12/5/2019 10:21:49 AM with a score of 0 Someone give this man a commendation. menstrual blood -- Chanbot on 12/1/2019 2:50:03 AM with a score of 0 Ja, pretty much.

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12 hours ago

Thara's comment is pretty amusing.

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12 hours ago
She does her best to lead me to the correct path.