It's always nice to read compliments people write about your stories and it's usually helpful to read criticism as well, but sometimes people leave comments on your stories that can only be described as... Interesting.
Today I found this little gem of a comment that somebody left on The Price of Freedom:
"I w0n't r8 dis a perpek 5/7. 8 is much much better. For the first time, my balls were tight, cold, and sweating all at the same time while playreading your epic story. I hope to playread the sequel ASAP 'coz you touched my tralala!" - BlurredRight
... Well it made me smile if nothing else.
So, what are the weirdest, randomest or most disturbing comments people have ever left on any of your games? ^_^
Unfortunately(fortunately), a lot of the really off-the-wall ones get removed before too many people see them.
GR8 STORY, TON OF LULZ, WOULD GO GR8 8 RATEING BUT YOU MADE FUN OF WC, HOW DARE YOU! LOL LULZ LOL, WC ARE AWESOMESSSZZ!!!!
It made me laugh, so I was sad to see it go.
Lol. Warrior Cats fans did used to leave some interesting comments. I remember one time one of them left a comment on a game complaining that the game would've been good if it had been about Warrior Cats, but since there weren't any Warrior Cats in the game, they didn't like it and were going to rate it badly... Or something to that extent.
BlurredRight actually PMed me recently with a lot of praises, so he’s cool in my book even if one or two of his comments were a little odd at times.
But if you want some weird/random/disturbing comments just go through any of the comments section on one of mine, I get all the freaks. Lol.
Dat "Mardox" comment tho
Hey, I'm not complaining about his comment, I'm saying it made for an interesting change
Awh, I just found a fun comment on a game called Love is Fragile that the writer left in response to some of the comments that other people had left.
Don't ever comment on my stuff again unless it's good
... I think that pretty much says it all. ^_^
Clearly someone can't handle criticism.
Though I have to remember that a mere few months ago this place was full of kids who think even the most sugar coated constructive criticism was "hating from a hater."
Haters gonna hate, but I'm just gonna shake ^_^
I remember I once PMed MadBrad200 a WHOLE FUCKING PARAGRAPH when I first started out because he left a comment on The Hunt For Cake saying that the grammar was bad. Then he kept his chill attitude, told me to spend more than a day on stories, and from that moment on I became less cringey. *shudders* Fucking twelve year old me.
"No matter what you do, you'll hate your 12 year-old self." - Everyone Older than 13
I wasn't going to be so laconic in my review, but when I got to the rape ending, I realized I had a story or 20 to be writing myself, and I couldn't waste my time on this stuck-up little shits who couldn't realize how horrible that was with their own (lack of) brains.
I object to that! The writer stated very specifically that the rape hurt. That's some descriptive literary skills right there ^_^
Okay, joined in the fun and added my comment.
You people make me happy ^_^
And people like that are why I don't sugarcoat my critiques much these days. Entitled little brats. I'd understand if was a valid argument against certain criticisms, but "you're only allowed to be nice to me about my shitty story" is honestly amusingly deluded for anyone who's been on the internet for more than five minutes--if that long.
That's so funny! This reminds me of something on Goodreads. If you're an author on Goodreads and you scroll down the comment section, they have a warning message to authors not to comment on reader reviews/comments. I haven't done it, but if you wanted to post a comment on your book or reply to someone else's, you actually have to click "Accept" on the warning box.
Weird, random, or disturbing comments on stories, huh? I mostly get one of four types: positive comments ("this was good, make more" or lengthy rants), negative comments ("you suck / I hated this / you wrote this story wrong"), bug reports (damn scripting), comments obviously from someone who wasn't paying attention when they were playing the damn thing. ("It's too short!" - reader says about 1000 page game with a straight face.)
But every so often, I get a review that's not related to the game at all, like:
"In my heart I believe I'm a special Fox. :-)" - EmilyGotStyle (on my quiz)
Criticisms of me that include threats of hypothetical divine vengeance:
"there is no good ending you satanist, you only want people to suffer and die if i am god i will made you suffer to made you realise how evil you are" - chan kai jun (The Other World)
Comments where I can't be totally sure if the other person is really that stupid or just not very good at trolling:
"You should make the story continue in the other world." - Sky (GOLAD)
"worse than kimchi" -- kimchi (GOLAD)
"Like - so unoriginal and junk, like my grandma can write better than this, like totally." -- StarsandSteel (GOLAD)
And then there's the "Um. What?" category, most of which were deleted in the craze of "delete every worthless comments for points," but:
"it was boo" - Cali (GOLAD)
I like the fox one best ^_^
Damn it, Briar, she's not a fox; she's a Fox, with a capital 'f'.
Not sure you're allowed to say that about 12 year olds, even over the internet...
Vulpine age of consent is six months.
I'll try to keep myself in line.
No use of the words "swag" "yolo" "blazeit" or any overall message of white supremacy. Gets a whopping zero.
-- hamofpower on 3/16/2015 11:00:47 PM with a score of 0
Only further establishing that no matter how hard I try, I can't be part of the master race :(
Awh, I like that one! ^_^
While this story got a quite few gems, I think I'll post this one since it's from a familiar acquaintance of ours...
A Very Special Choose Your Own Story
Wow, this story was one big waste of time. Generally I like your stories, (even though in most you're an evil pyschopath) but in this one I couldn't find an ending that was even remotley good.
I guess I could give you credit for saying there was no possible way to win, but I didn't think that meant commiting suicide from depression, being electricuted to death, being shot by the police or S.W.A.T., or anything else in the catagory.
Even in Love SICK you still sort of won at the end, but that wasn't really the point, now was it? At first I tried making myself a popular football player and generally avoiding bad things when possible, but when that failed, I just sort of tried anything I could to be successful without being evil, but I guess that's all but impossible in your stories.
Once I ran out of things to do, I started being evil, but even that failed miserably. So then I tried being a GIRL, but honestly there wasn't much difference. You sure made me feel great about being a kid. Thanks a lot. I just pray my death will be quick.
-- Ryder on 1/10/2015 6:41:24 AM
I figured he was upset because his character failed at everything and it was more like a reminder of his real life.
(Well that and the lack of kittens)
It's a shame he got banned when he did. I'm feeling inspired to work on Farmer Joe.
He's still here as Traxil.
Lol. -100 point penalty for lame plots.
Yeah, my penalty's much cooler.
That is amazing.
How many times would "Asperger's" show up in the forums?
Quite a few, when you piss off the right people.
I'm in favor of keeping this. Farking brilliant.
Does that mean I'm not in the know? I've only gotten Admin /bonuses/, not penalties. (98 points.)
And what about me? Am I only semi in the know, or have I lost that knowledge?
He's gotten a measly one of -10. Does it still count?
Even if it's been refunded?
I would think so. Also, I've gotten 100 points taken away for "Spamming and trolling with alts".
I only got a penalty once.
-2793 Admin Penalty- SATAN
That makes me smile... But I'm confused how, after they gave you back 2937 points and you've only gained more points since then, how come you only have 2417 points now? Math is weird >.<
I think I was around the 2000 point level when Madglee was playing around with the points to begin with. I didn’t even have 2793 points to take away.
I assume I was in the negative hundred levels when he docked the points and then later I got a few hundred point bonus when he replaced them.
I didn't really know any of this was going on until after it was already done with and a couple people PMed me about it.
"I'm feeling inspired to work on Farmer Joe."
Pretty sure all my comments as Slasher got deleted before I was even banned.
EndMaster on 1/13/2016 for Love Is Fragile
Judging by the reaction to the comments, the story should be titled "Author's Ego is fragile" Don't ever write again unless it's good.
Haha! Should've made it featured instead :P
Damn it, Berka, you give me a delete button, but it won't let me delete anything. Why must you taunt me with such power?!?
Yeah haha! EndMaster PM'd me about it. I hadn't noticed that it was included. Though I wondered if it would work for anyone else.
This will not be forgiven.
When I clicked on it, I was taken to a screen that said I wasn't authorized to do that.
I weep for you, dear Fox.
This story is utter shite, shat out from a rectum most horrid. Words cannot express the sheer REVULSION I feel after reading this literary turd. The universe yawns before me, and I feel my mind slipping into madness... I think I'll just close my eyes... NO! I need to finish this review, even as it tears out my soul.
This is horrible, to re-iterate. The so-called "Variable" had no worth, as all the links that killed me killed me instantly. You clearly put no effort into this piece of shit. The sheer vulgarity of this obscene little nightmare sickens me.
8/8, because this review helped me break my Writers Block.
-- Malkalack on 6/21/2015 9:31:26 PM with a score of 0
What story was that?
I think you mean "Timescape!".
Awh, that's a good one ^_^
Posting this one here since the story will probably be deleted.
It is interesting that you are still trying to make something better than this site but what is the point of having a "vault" when everyone on here already has an account those people with a lot of free time can easily make new accounts or alts.
This site also has it's own sort of "currency" already, they're called Points and having a lot of them gives you Trophies, why create another imaginary currency that has no benefits? I've decided to give myself 500 of your Currency for this insightful analysis of mine.
It's also worth pointing out the pointlessness of having an imaginary Vault and Currency when you can have a REAL bank vault with Currency in it in the REAL world which is infinitely preferable to your imaginary or agreed-upon fantasy vault and currency. My real world currency can buy useful things like Haribo and Cola, what can your currency get me?
It's good that you have alternative views I guess but you might realize rather than trying to do your own thing you can actually thrive and be successful within the society we all live in. If you want to be like Chris McCandless and go and live outside society in a bus in Alaska (and you have my full encouragement to go and live alone in the wilderness btw) then go for it, otherwise don't push your views on other people who haven't asked for them.
Your story will probably get deleted too btw because it's not a story, it's more of a Forum Post. This is the section for creative people who write interesting things called stories with plots and characters. The place for sharing random ideas and debating over them is over in the Forum.
-- Will11 on 1/16/2016 12:09:06 AM with a score of 0
Funniest bit is where Will straight up jacked Ryder for 500 credits. True gangsta shit right there.
This makes me so happy... But now I need to go and check out this vault thing and make myself late for work. All your fault
NM, that was quick... And TBH, I think if he managed to pull off making a storygame where using your own secret password would save your own selected information, I'd be pretty impressed... But what if 2 people chose the same password?
He'd probably tell one of them that they would have to change their password.
WGE monetary system is way better. You can also redeem your coins for items 'n' shite.
Good call EndMaster (posting that before the inevitable)!
Just found a random one that was left on a game called Puff Ball Madness:
I really didn't read anything because there needs to be more dragons in life...
-- HI on 10/1/2015 8:49:05 PM
May I point out that there are no dragons mentioned in the game?
Probably a reference to Puff the Magic Dragon.
But dragons instantly make any story better!
Got a new one today:
FUCK YOU NOTRE DAME YOU WILL NEVER MAKE THE PLAYOFF!!!!!!
A Game of Life and Death
Jeff Long (Score of 0)
1/23/2016 9:04:32 PM
My game never mentions football.
Here's a really wacko one haha!
This game is fuckin shit you fuckin idiots you should get another job.
Bastards thickos dicheads haaaaaaaaaaaa. Oh and i got to blessed trinity and my mates were saying horrible things like
Sex and mate. Hah my mates are shane bamber aaron
hanson cloe green emely hanley kristoss. Oh yeah and
they were being racist daying packi. Oh yeah and neive were
Saying that miss gorshaw ha is soo annoying. And
phoebe bacone was saying that the librarian s a fat cow
and a snob ugly ille do what i want
-- ellie payne on 1/24/2016 8:44:32 AM with a score of 3060
... I think I can hear my brain-cells popping as I try to figure out what the hell she's talking about.
Uh, where's the translate button???
Me and my big mouth...
Yeah, this jeff fool trolled a whole bunch of games with Playoff nonsense.
Normally listening to idiots rambling can best be described as "time better spent otherwise" but occasionally you find a guy whose idiocy inexorably backs accidentally into genius and you might have found one of those guys... like Dutch Schlutz's last words can we mere mortals really ever understand what the hell he means? Possibly not, is there a neurosurgeon in the house when we need one?
The Internet continues to baffle me :)
Actually "genius" might be a mistaken term for "comprehensibility", this guy sounds a bit more like Vicki Pollard from Little Britain :)
this sucks gay. what a bunch of pussies
-- supbna on 1/29/2016 4:14:10 PM
But wouldn't the pussies make all the sucking straight?
Not if it's ladies doing the sucking!
A very good point. ^_^
i miss sandwich porn
Male currently in high school a guy did this to me three times, but the first time, in high school a guy did this to me three times, but the first time, I had was pretty much my favorite thing to eat besides a fillet from Morton's. I had sex was pretty much my favorite thing to eat besides a fillet from Morton's.
Onion (Score of 0)
1/31/2016 1:30:07 AM
Definitely a keeper!
I think your reader was either having a stoke or drunk off their ass.
... I am very curious what the guy was trying to say. Something along the lines of when he was in high school, he was raped three times by a fillet from Mortons?
I thought he was saying some dude raped him three times, but it was better than eating a fillet from Morton's which I guess got bumped down to his second favorite thing.
I'm wondering which particular sexual act from Eternal that the male in question performed on him three times. There's a lot it could be referring to. ^_^
Dead Man Walking
"My only critique is that it does pander a bit to the heterosexual white male, and does contain some annoying tropes. Non-white individuals are identified as such while white individuals are not, or "white by default," which does not add anything to the story. The wife and some of the female characters (lunch ladies, teacher, the girls) all fall into the 'Damsel in Distress' trope, and the men are more capable (for the most part) than the women (but not in all instances). Slapping the wife when she's hysterical left a poor taste in my mouth, and the way the women all look to the men to be leaders was a bit cringe-worthy. And despite my never properly getting medical attention for my injuries, (yikes, that head wound!) my character still seems more capable and fearless than the female characters. "
"I'm upset that my protagonist character is more capable than the NPCs!"
"Why do the NPCs look to my character to make decisions?!"
Dammit BZ, I demand the ability to play this game as the diffident, passive-aggressive marvel of indecision that I am.
the men are more capable (for the most part) than the women (but not in all instances).
This needs less weasel words or more explanation, because it reads as though the only thing that they would have accepted was women being more capable than men in most instances.
Yeah, men are pussies guys, it's just a fact. ^_^
I don't remember slapping my wife in the story, I just kissed her and she died. I assume you slap her if you don't accidently kill her with zombie herpes.
You didn't slap her after you kissed her? That doesn't sound like you EndMaster.
I have to agree with the commenter. I'd love a game where you're not the guy in charge, and the only option is "Do what the person in charge says". That'd be a pretty interesting game. Just have the protagonist do whatever the NPC wants. I'd give it an 8/8.
That wasn't what they were really complaining about though, they were basically complaining that Berka was being an agent for the rapist patriarchy by making his protagonist another straight white dude and his story was making the world a much worse place because of it.
I don't remember the story specifically saying the protagonist was white though.
No, they assumed everyone was "white by default."
Basically, since sometimes BZ mentioned in a character's description that they were non-white, but never specifically mentioned anyone being white, the reviewer decided that meant "for anyone whose race wasn't explicitly defined, the author intended them to be assumed to be white."
Saving the world or something similar I would imagine.
Suzy's Strange Saga
Although it sure was a lot fun I have to ask: what in the seven hells deserves an 8/8 in maturity if not this? Seriously 7/8, wtf?
As Suzy I...
...got raped in detail at least a dozen times
...got murdered brutally at least as often
...took part in some very messed up incest
...literally bit off a penis entirely
...constantly whored out my sister to pedophiles
...murdered children, including by burning
...raped my own son and enjoyed it
...found close relatives dead in the most messed up conditions
...got tortured very creatively
...became a serial murderer
Now I just want to know what exactly this is missing for the 8/8 rating? It drives me nuts.
-- aartbastiaan on 2/8/2016 12:32:01 PM with a score of 0
Okay, two things…
You never pimp your sister out to pedophiles. She’s over 18 and you just use her as bait to kill some dudes for their car.
You never rape your own son. He’s also over 18 and it’s just rough consensual three way with his father's dead body.
Glad we cleared that up.
... How have I not played SSS yet?
It’s pretty much right up your alley.
Not to mention Suzy’s also a blonde, so you’ll be able to immerse yourself to an even greater degree!
But I promised myself I would finish the re-write of Innocence Lost before I played anymore EndMaster games. They distract me.
Yeah, you fucking better.
It's also such a stupid comment because it's obvious why it's only a 7/8. Endmaster removed the secret ending where Suzy got raped to death by a dolphin in her bathtub, and so was able to take the maturity rating down a notch. Duh.
No, it's still there, If you know how to find it.
...but the rest of the stuff happens?
I always chuckle when I see reviews like this:
interesting, but im not a big fan of reading so many words.
A Game of Life and Death
jack (Score of 2000)
2/19/2016 1:27:34 AM
I got a similar one recently.
Too long..... Needs 3 paragraphs average instead of 300000000 as currently stands. I want near instant gratification and those didn't provide.
-- Arse on 2/17/2016 12:12:29 PM with a score of 0
At least his name is appropriate. Lol.
"I want near instant gratification"
Oh, but don't we all?
LOL, on Will's new story Magellan:
Lots of reading
-- dragon396 on 2/23/2016 10:37:26 PM with a score of 0
Reading is hard, you guys. :[ I don't know about the rest of you but I definitely don't come to a writing site for that kind of thing.
Poor Will. He published that one at the absolutely worst time possible too, right in the middle of the flood of contest stories.
Haha, I thought that one was kind of funny, maybe I need to provide pictures or shorter words like "cat" and "hat"... I know I published at a sucky time but mostly I can only write when I get holidays which is every six months or so...
Oh, God, Will. You made the people who were playing your story game actually READ? You're a madman! A maaadmaaaan! Help, oh God, someone help, before he tries to make someone else literate again! Hide the children!
(In seriousness, I know how it feels to be short on time. *pat*)
Wow, all for AVSCYS.
Joined the Nazi gang. Guess what? The Nazis losed again. First WWII and now this.
-- Deadly Lion on 4/19/2016 12:56:30 PM
Tried to join the Ghosts, but i had a rock throwed in my head, i was left to die in the woods and i was eaten by an bear after dying. Oh, man...
-- Deadly Lion on 4/19/2016 1:04:56 PM
Used steroids. But i don't think a guy in steroids could rip out one guy's larnyx.
-- Deadly Lion on 4/19/2016 1:19:05 PM
Not used steroids, became an vegetable and my parents allowed the doctors to pull the plug. Wonderful.
-- Deadly Lion on 4/19/2016 1:24:48 PM
Tried to wipe out the school. I officially hate snipers (nah, joking).
-- Deadly Lion on 4/19/2016 1:34:28 PM
Tried to rat out the psychos. Well, i am now worm food.
-- Deadly Lion on 4/19/2016 1:40:19 PM
Oh man, committed suicide.
-- Deadly Lion on 4/19/2016 1:48:02 PM
Oh, man... Sniffing glue is dangerous.
-- Deadly Lion on 4/19/2016 1:53:03 PM
Da Hood is dangerous. Very dangerous.
-- Deadly Lion on 4/19/2016 1:56:40 PM
Oh man, this story is fun. Well, hiding in the closet is dangerous, as is all the other things.
-- Deadly Lion on 4/19/2016 2:04:00 PM
Gosh. STDs are dangerous. All the things in this story are dangerous (lol).
-- Deadly Lion on 4/19/2016 2:19:47 PM
Ayy lmao... huh, girls can be really annoying sometimes.
-- Deadly Lion on 4/19/2016 2:29:46 PM
Online gaming didn't work for me.
-- Deadly Lion on 4/19/2016 2:45:24 PM
LARP is twisted.
-- Deadly Lion on 4/19/2016 2:50:45 PM
I am now a cow f*cker. Pretty (nah, joking again).
-- Deadly Lion on 4/19/2016 3:00:16 PM
I was eletrocuted. Ouch.
-- Deadly Lion on 4/19/2016 3:03:10 PM
I’d PM this Deadly Lion and congratulate him on his persistence, but unfortunately for him he’s a filthy unperson in the eyes of CYS since he isn’t officially registered to the site.
Still, I applaud the dedication.
If only he was an official citizen instead of an Untouchable.
Yeah, I've been watching those rack up, I'm almost impressed...
Ah Whoops. I was a Deadly Lion. I guess a bunch of things in this game are really dangerous. (Joking, you're great man)
-- SystemReboot_3 on 4/19/2016 11:09:04 PM
Lol. Well he’s no longer a filthy unperson. He is now a true citizen of CYStia.
He may be recognized!
Ogre got a bunch of these too, on A UFO at School:
I was crushed by a saucer. Jeez.
-- Deadly Lion on 4/19/2016 11:41:45 AM with a score of 0
The officer dragged me away. Aargh.
-- Deadly Lion on 4/19/2016 11:38:20 AM with a score of 0
I was desintegrated again. These aliens love to desintegrate people.
-- Deadly Lion on 4/19/2016 11:36:44 AM with a score of 0
Principal Jenkins blasted the aliens. Welp, at least i'm good.
-- Deadly Lion on 4/19/2016 11:34:49 AM with a score of 0
I was absorbed by an alien. Eek.
-- Deadly Lion on 4/19/2016 11:31:37 AM with a score of 0
Yay! I am going to space, permanently. At least i will die in a place with smooth walls.
-- Deadly Lion on 4/19/2016 11:28:15 AM with a score of 0
Desintegrated. With the other students. Suddenly and fastly.
-- Deadly Lion on 4/19/2016 11:24:25 AM with a score of 0
I disappeared with Mr. Stamos and the rest of the students. Pity.
-- Deadly Lion on 4/19/2016 11:22:05 AM with a score of 0
I know it's been about a month, but I just noticed that he did some for my Hunt For Cake games.
The Hunt For Cake 1:
I am... victorious!!!
-- Deadly Lion on 4/21/2016 3:17:24 PM with a score of 0
Got the "Lie" ending. The cake was a lie.
-- Deadly Lion on 4/21/2016 3:16:11 PM with a score of 0
Got an third "Death" ending. First dying from starvation, then by a gunshot and then of a breaked neck.
-- Deadly Lion on 4/21/2016 3:13:48 PM with a score of 0
Got an third "Kicked Out" ending.
-- Deadly Lion on 4/21/2016 3:12:23 PM with a score of 0
Got an alternative "Kicked Out" ending.
-- Deadly Lion on 4/21/2016 3:11:03 PM with a score of 0
Got an alternative "Death" ending.
-- Deadly Lion on 4/21/2016 3:09:40 PM with a score of 0
Got the "Kicked Out" ending.
-- Deadly Lion on 4/21/2016 3:08:26 PM with a score of 0
Got the "Sixth Sense" ending. I am now an business tycoon named Whet Faartz. No, really (in the story, at least).
-- Deadly Lion on 4/21/2016 3:06:40 PM with a score of 0
Got the "Death" ending.
-- Deadly Lion on 4/21/2016 3:03:01 PM with a score of 0
Got the "Just a Slice" ending.
-- Deadly Lion on 4/21/2016 3:01:21 PM with a score of 0
The Hunt For Cake 2:
Well, got kicked out. This one is a longer story, but i liked more the first.
-- Deadly Lion on 4/21/2016 3:34:09 PM with a score of 0
Just an little slice. An little, little slice.
-- Deadly Lion on 4/21/2016 3:33:03 PM with a score of 0
Well, i have seen old people doing love, and a woman with her period. What a wicked mansion.
-- Deadly Lion on 4/21/2016 3:32:05 PM with a score of 0
Died from starvation.
-- Deadly Lion on 4/21/2016 3:28:16 PM with a score of 0
Got the best ending! Take that, rich "friend"!
-- Deadly Lion on 4/21/2016 3:27:25 PM with a score of 0
Died from jumping of the second floor with the cake.
-- Deadly Lion on 4/21/2016 3:24:29 PM with a score of 0
So, I wish to share a weird wish-washy comment on Price of Freedom.
TOO FREAKING SHORT!....
I luv dis.
-- Viper on 7/23/2015 6:49:32 AM with a score of 0
I don't think that's wishy-washy at all. (Especially since PoF isn't a short game by any means.)
The commenter loved the game and wanted it to go on even longer. They're sad it's only the first part of the story.
. . . yep, I'm right. They gave it an 8.
You mean to tell us that you can use your mod powers to find out what anyone rated a storygame? Oh no... how do I remove my ratings?
this was gay as fuck, i'd buy it again.
Too sad that I payed this guy 10.00 USD, and he said it was for cancer research. HE scammed the kids
One time I gave this guy mu w
-- bob on 4/24/2016 6:11:56 PM
Just another baffling comment by more driveby guest commenters.
Well since some people were asking…
Wait a minute, in three of the possible endings you avoid rape, but you’re still friendly with the rapist which means you’re just going to potentially get date raped when you go out with him again later since he’s the one that was trying to drug the drink in the first place.
You could have had further choices where you go out with this guy again or even put into other potential dangerous situations.
As it stands there are four endings and only one of them leads to rape. Seems like a missed opportunity to make a larger story with more options to get date raped.
-- EndMaster on 4/26/2016 8:15:27 AM
Maybe it wasn't even intentionally hilarious, but that last line just destroys me.
"Seems like a missed opportunity to make a larger story with more options to get date raped."
(Insert Lenny Face Here)
I'm so sorry, I couldn't resist.
Pretty cool, I liked the main character because he is an asshole, like me :D
hehe xd 5/19/2016 1:00:06 AM
Glad to see I'm catering to my intended audience.
Congrats to Kiel on his most recent retarded driveby commenter!
A Game of Life and Death
Ive started reading a lot of interactive novels lately, mainly the ones from " Choice of games LLC" and I must say I'm disapointed by yours. There is no gender selection no background selection. I first wanted to play a funny popular guy. And i got bored at the first page. Since when does a popular guy get bullied? And what if I was playing an innocent schoolgirl? I would also get bullied and frames? And why does making the logical decision of going straight to your parents to explain things results in a loss?
This novel has potential but is far from perfect in my opinion.
-- Avelange Julien on 5/22/2016 9:46:18 AM with a score of 0
No I agree, GOLAD sucks. I never could understand why it wouldn't let me play as a hedgehog.
Fine, you caught me. I can't pretend anymore, I'm a speciest and I hate hedgehogs. Entitled, spiny little bastards, painting themselves blue, running around in their little shoes like they own the place...
Them and their voices, oh god the voices. "Gotta go fast" "Cmon step it up" "Your too slow" etc.
Magic apple what everywhere..? x:
I hope you die you nigger. I found this game offensive to my eyes i would rather watch two girls shit on a dude than this.
-- Mason Isiah Dominguez on 7/19/2016 8:18:34 AM
Masonjar’s evil twin?
Not even using proper racial slurs...
wouldn't be surprised if it was actually mason.
I kid, I kid. Just poking fun at you Mason ;)
Well, I guess at least you remember my name! That's good at least!
On my quiz:
Is nice. yea yeah is good no? motherloving son of a donkey's pet dingo!!!
-- DickPotato on 6/1/2016 6:45:25 PM with a score of -22
Kiel. you forgot to delete the moderator things.
Oops. I mean... >_> what moderator things?
Steve, this is the worst story on the site and you should definitely, definitely withdraw it from the contest.
Maybe replace it with something about talking cats instead. You still have about 40 hours. I believe in you.
-- mizal on 7/2/2016 1:36:09 PM with a score of 0
That Valley High Story, but I'm more baffled by this comment.
Who brushes their teeth before eating breakfast?
Anyway, the story could use some work. I would elaborate, but it would mostly be repeating the previous comment.
-- skugga on 7/19/2016 1:51:08 AM
All people who care about their dental health do.
You’re supposed to brush your goddamn teeth when you wake up, yukmouth.
I always heard brush after every meal. I always did it after breakfast, because that way I would have a clean mouth for the rest of the day. Never had any problems or cavities. But shit now you have made me question everything about brushing my teeth.
You're supposed to brush five times per day, once when you wake up, once after each meal (for a total of three), and once before you go to bed.
Well, guess I need to add one then. Thanks.
There's a such thing as overbrushing, dude. You can actually cause damage to your teeth and their structure, and five times a day is definitely overdoing it. >_> I don't know what crazy person told you to brush five times a day, but they didn't fact check. Now, if you wanna floss that often, sure. Go nuts. But if you don't want to take my word for it, here, see what a dentist has to say: http://askthedentist.com/can-you-brush-your-teeth-too-much/
(Granted, if your mouth-stank requires that much brushing to get rid of, far be it from me to stop you. :P)
There are people who overdo flossing? Most folks find it too much of a PIA (I guess?) to do often enough. I am tempted to look up pics, but... ehh, nah, that's okay.
(Those are the best!)
My dentist told my to brush five times a day a few years ago. He also told me to brush in circles across my teeth so as not to make grooves in them.
I think he told me to brush that much because of my awful breath. If I miss brushing then my mouth smells like a harbour. Believe it or not though, we wouldn't really need to brush our teeth (much) if there were less sugar in our foods, because bad breath and tooth decay is caused by bacteria producing corrosive chemicals as a waste product after consuming traces of sugar left in our mouth. People's breath wouldn't smell like mint, of course, and their teeth would still be that off-white-to-banana-cream-yellow color, but they'd still be relatively healthy teeth.
You being a special case and needing to brush that frequently not to get garbage-breath is one thing, but that doesn't mean you should tell other people to follow your regimen. That's like telling people to take the same medications you do. If they have different needs or different allergies, that could actually kill them. -_-'
Also, medical information gets updated every year. Have you actually seen him recently? (Again, Endmaster has a point, depending on what you're eating, brushing afterwards can destroy your enamel.)
:P Yeah. Processed, sugary foods (which makes up, like, 70% of the stuff in supermarkets in America) is shit, it ruins a lot more than just your teeth. A healthier diet would be nice, but people like their sweets and they like cheap, convenient supplies.
I had always assumed that his brushing advice was in general for everyone and only realized that it probably only applied to me when you just now mentioned it. It's not like he gave me a medicated toothpaste.
And yeah, don't worry. I make it a rule not to brush my teeth within 30 minutes after I've eaten anything acidic or otherwise makes my teeth feel weird.
My problem is that there's corn syrup in everything, even things where it doesn't belong, like ranch dressing.
Yeah... kinda gross, isn't it? I understand putting sugar in many things, but we put it in almost everything. >_>'
The issue here is that most people only brush their teeth once in the morning and there's some debate over whether to do it before or after you've eaten your first meal. You do it before you eat? Great. Your food is gonna taste like it's mixed with artificial mint and you're gonna walk around with food particles from breakfast in / on your teeth. You brush them afterwards, then you remove the food, leaving the clean feeling in your mouth longer and no scent of bacon on your lips--which is kind of a shame because bacon is delicious, but if you happen to cross paths with a vicious dog, he might be less inclined to chew your face off, so there's that...
Lol, people shouldn’t be brushing once a day either. (Five is too much though) Twice or maybe three times is what is generally recommended.
Removing the bacteria that’s been marinating in your mouth overnight is more effective at preventing cavities if you do it before you're eating anything. Plus if you’re eating/drinking acidic/sugary stuff in your breakfast, brushing them after eating can actually cause abrasions on your teeth since the enamel is weakened and needs a little time to “heal.”
I dunno, I just think washing your mouth out with enough water to get the taste of toothpaste out your mouth before you eat pretty much gets rid of any possible minty bacon taste concerns. And you can always go floss if you really have an ongoing problem with getting large pieces of your breakfast stuck in your teeth.
You misunderstood me. When I said "once in the morning," I really did mean "once in the morning," not once a day. I'm accustomed to hearing people say they brush their teeth at least twice a day, the second time being before bed, and maybe once in the middle of the day just cuz.
Yeah, you are right about that, but I'm not much for sugary or acidic breakfasts.
You skip breakfast?! How dare you! Don't you know that [insert food & health blog here] says that breakfast is the most important meal of the day and the key to getting your chakras in balance and burns all of your fat away and turns you into the guy from Limitless and keeps you eternally young?!
Also, heyyyy a fellow person who's been on coffee since childhood!
I was wondering if I'd get misinterpreted there... anyway, please see my reply to Endmaster.
You're meant to brush once in the morning, once in the evening, and once right before bed. At the minimum dentists recommend brushing in the morning and before you go to bed.
Wait, really? 0_o
... I've brushed my teeth less than 100 times throughout my lifetime, and I don't have any problems with my teeth...
I think it's bad that I can count on one hand how many times I've brushed my teeth this year...
Anyway, the worst that's happened so far is that I got mildly bad breath. Definitely no where near as bad as some peoples from what I've been told.
Oh, that's the same guy who left the 'nigger' comment on one of End's stories. Shame there's no real way to do anything to unregistered users.
No offense, but it's kind of funny how shit is censored, but bitch and dick aren't.
The best response to a quick point grabbing comment on a two minute POS story ever???
Well, that and the four PMs I've got. Seriously though, is there a way to archive a complete story? I want to save this and frame it.
edit: nvm, it was really short so I just grabbed the text and stuck it in my notepad here.
Will someone please think of the children!?
edit: 3 published storygames (currently) in the span of 2 days (?) Have to admire the work rate though. c:
America, we have to do something, this pampering of feefees in defiance of all reality is leading to a generation of coddled, deluded weaklings. Our children are woefully unprepared for the coming apocalypse.
I want to protect this smile.
Sort of odd that she got offended by your comment when she left this on A Very Special Choose Your Story:
Pretty funny but weird at the same time lol
-- Girly_Writer246 on 7/18/2016 9:21:50 PM
This was horrible. Try adding some more options where it changes the story. "Instructive criticism"
-- Girly_Writer246 on 7/20/2016 8:43:03 PM
On the school story by that other little girl, which was longer and arguably a better example of a CYOA even if it was otherwise a mess.
Oh, never mind. :p It seems the point was already made.
OMG End, that was so mean! I feel so bad for you. You must be crying yourself to sleep every night after getting such a horrible review!
Whew, getting slammed by the story comments lately! Here’s the best recent gem though.
This story can only have been created by a sick, twisted mind. I nearly feel pity for whoever wastes time to create such a sick piece of writing. Get a life man.
-- Endmaster is a psycho on 8/23/2016 3:41:16 PM
Today is Karacan’s Magus: Betrayal time to shine!
I'll do a poop on it it's so bad.
-- James Culpepper on 9/21/2016 11:54:36 PM
I wish this story had more naked women and sex in it because I was horny when I played this
-- Cunt-hole on 9/22/2016 12:03:59 AM
Quite a good way to pass my time on the toilet as I suffer from chronic constipation, I usually take 30 to 40 minutes on a trip to the lavatory and having a fun and literary time on the toilet, quite exhilarating, thank you for the lovely story ??
-- Stanky pancake on 9/22/2016 12:06:16 A
I was going through Magnus looking for comments for the mods to delete. I saw this one and wondered what was going through his head. I took out his email address.
This game sucked. Firs of all their were no Light Sabers and no two headed ferrets. What the hell was the author thinking. Everyone knows that if you want a have decent game you have to include a ferret. All the greatest games in history have had ferrets in them for example. Halo, GTA3, Sims and most importantly of all pac man. Here is a word of advice for the author don't quit your day job and if writing these games is your day job then for god's sake<br>ferrets are the future man without ferrets we wouldn't have cars or computers or even clothes. So don't be a fool, stay in school.<br>P.S If you have any complaints with my comment please send an abusive email to my address _______
-- Dick McGee on 10/19/2004 10:38:55 PM
Ahaha, I wonder which buddy of his that email belonged to.
I think it was actually the email account of a school in Idaho. I'm not quite sure though.
This one was on the story: I’m leaving
don't write u fag u suck
-- imma give you some advice shit on 9/24/2016 3:43:50 PM
These people need to realize these gems are typically only going to stay up if they make these sorts of comments on my stories.
Hahaha, I'd forgotten all about that story. It's still hilarious. Even more so, now.
I'm confused how they even found it, though. It's been unpublished for months, hasn't it?
I was looking for more comments for EM to delete for The Order of the Midnight Sun. I thought I should share them before they vanish for eternity. The first and last are definitely the weirdest of this group.
Well, this was nice to read with my friends. There was some grammatical errors, and the story was a little in the bland beginning but it was entertaining. Also, my friend says, and I quote, "Sex with fourteen year olds? Really niggah?" Also, whose entire life is driven by the premise that they'll never have sex again?
-- Bears on 11/24/2015 7:47:34 PM with a score of 20
I like pie
-- DylanDJL on 2/12/2015 8:08:39 PM with a score of 5840
ya-ya-ya, I'm Lorde. Neat story.
-- Lorde on 10/24/2014 2:58:54 PM with a score of 4844
I thunk that u should decrease the "long story" and focus on giving life threatening situations more for gods sake!!
-- dailyviwer on 3/18/2014 7:40:33 AM with a score of 4941
Holy hard nipples batman that was fantastic. Is there an ending where artimus lives? I only got 2 bonings my entire life. Read this. Rigt now. And save a lot. Not too often though, also I finished this in one go. New record?
-- Jonnykill78 on 9/6/2013 12:11:26 PM with a score of 5930
Also, here's something that I'm surprised wasn't put here before. It's some... um, person ranting at EM and EM replying in Ground Zero.
I don't even know what these random guest driveby commenters are even ranting about anymore.
One of the better nonsensical rants though. Definitely a keeper.
-- EndMaster on 3/16/2016 10:44:57 PM
this story is terrible. btw, im a homosexual who volunteers their free time at homeless shelters for 6 hours a week, and an orphanage for 2. fuck you and your homophobic ass who can't write a story. btw, there is no proof that god exists, so you might as well use a fucking unicorn in your story.
-- ksjfvn on 3/16/2016 8:45:37 PM
Oh my.... so so good! I feel bad I neglected my husband for hours on end, several days as I read thru many different endings. I want more!
-- Jaclyn on 11/4/2016 10:35:54 PM with a score of 0
For some reason this comment sounds oddly sexual.
whoa sweetie this is brilliant! You sure have talent! Can't wait to read part two you writing wonder! JK Rowling better watch out!
-- Will11's Aunt on 5/24/2016 7:54:42 PM
Then followed by this:
Haha, well the comment below is certainly a weird one :D But that reader is proving a point, if you want to destroy all respect as a writer get your family members to tell you that you are absolutely brilliant (I'm pretty sure that's not really one of my aunt's btw. All of my aunts are aged 60-80 and I'm not sure any of them actually know how to use a computer :P)
-- Will11 on 5/25/2016 2:59:40 AM
Yeah, I didn't understand that one - whether the person was mocking me or helping me confirm my points about how not to write. Either way I was in a business-like mood that day and it was a good comment for showing the sort of stuff people shouldn't do :P
Underground To Canada:
I have dedicated my entire life to the Reese's name, and have loved it more than anything. I married into the Reese's family, and it is where all my pride stems from. In addition, my favorite part of the Reese's brand is the Reese's Cup. I never thought anything could ever top it-that is until now. Me and my son Reese Reese's absolutely loved this adventure, this and empty Reese's cup wrappers are the only things we bond over anymore (hes a fucking douchebag"
-- Reese's Cups on 6/10/2016 6:41:39 PM
I assume the joke is the fact that the description for the 7 rating is "even better than Reese's Cups".
I found this funny
Funny random awesomeness
The others are being mean. this was made JUST because I was bored...
-- Crimspider on 12/2/2016 4:33:26 PM
"I don't like constructive criticism! I made this JUST because I felt like putting no effort into my story!"
Also, very good comment Seto. Hopefully he/she learns from this and puts out another story worth keeping on this site.
Yes. I hope they do too. I hate when people just go on this site, make a shitty story, and then say how the commenters "were being soooo mean."
It reminds me so much of the dark times...when WC storygames roamed free and these comments were everywhere...
The Adventures of Phoebe Mcgee: Episode 1, The Lighthouse
we got wet over this game
-- Holly Toombes and Milly Thomso on 11/10/2016 4:48:07 AM with a score of 0
rubbish game and story
-- andre spence on 11/10/2016 4:47:01 AM with a score of 0
bored to death
-- unknown user on 11/10/2016 4:46:30 AM with a score of 0
Why on earth did the same person create 3 different names to leave 3 different comments?
It is pretty weird, but highly amusing to say the least xD
Meant to post this one from A Very Special Choose Your Story awhile back.
There is something quite profound about your darkness, my friend. Perhaps...perhaps, it is too late for you. My mother always said that you were doomed. She was right. The time has come for you to choose sides Endmaster. Do you side with the Light or Dark? Ancients or the Corrupt? Do you dare face the mighty wrath that have smitten so man mere Sol system humans such as yourself?
-- Love Prevails on 9/26/2016 4:33:32 PM
I'm sure that it makes you glad to have your popularity with the moms once again confirmed.
... Really? They read A Very Special Choose Your Story and weren't quite sure whether you'd "Side with Light or Dark?" Maybe you're just not trying hard enough Endmaster. In the immortal words of Mike Myers, "You’re not quite evil enough. You’re semi-evil. You’re quasi-evil. You’re the margarine of evil. You’re the Diet Coke of evil, just one calorie, not evil enough."
Not sure what the Ancients and Corrupts are though. Is this from a game that I've never heard of?
Awh! The light side sounds so much more appealing now. ^_^
As I went through this story I was amazingly bored until I hit the fabulous choice to stab Mr. Bad Guy in front of his daughter. Right there and then I knew this game was for me, I stabbed him in front of his daughter, most likely in his foot, then he died. The daughter cried VERY emotional cries then I left to another state. 9/11 I would fantasize about murdering in front of children again. -- Fuccboi Johnson on 11/11/2015 2:45:01 PM
This has left me feeling depressed, after playing 3 times in a row, I have failed to live anywhere past the age of 17. I wish there was more to the game than just a list of early deaths to make people feel bad about themselves, because I wish I had the opportunity to like this game. As I stand, however, I follow the "three strikes, you're out" principle, and as far as I got, this doesn't have much to it. Now, if you will excuse me, I'm gonna sulk in the corner about how difficult this is. :(
primoskate52354 (Score of 0)
12/15/2016 12:53:17 PM
lol his follow-up:
Feeling bad about my harsh criticism, I gave this story another try, only to, surprise, die before my 20s for the forth time. if you want an easy, quick story, don't come here. 'Dark Souls' is more forgiving than this game, at least I lived through the training in that game. I'm sorry, but it's hard to remain positive when I have been guillotined, burned, crushed, and dematerialized all before adulthood. I'll leave a better comment when I can reach an ending. until then, I will leave this with a 1/8. I guess I'll go sulk in the corner now... again... :(
Lol. That's hilarious.
Reminds me of another guy who ranted at me about Death Song and another story and he said how depressed he got, but insisted on continuing to play through anyway.
'if you want an easy, quick story, don't come here...'
'...to this 8/8 length game with 8/8 difficulty level...'
(Is it okay to tag him? Mockery feels so pointless if he's not reading it.)
Somebody tell this dude that the ratings aren't suppose to be about the ending. It's about, like, the journey, man.
He probably should play Love SICK, you can't die in that one.
"You should make alot more o these but next time put ball busting and cuntbusting in it hahaha. With girls screaming in pain and boys starting to cry but make sure thy are under the age of 16 it qill be fin to rwad and decidw either to have sex with them or to punish their little dicks and pussys so please make anothee one like this."
-- me on 12/4/2016 7:51:26 AM
Wow. I'm guessing they really enjoyed this story. Judging by the enthusiasm of this comment.
Maybe so, but this comment was still a bit amusing to read.
... Well it makes a nice change from, "Won't somebody PLEASE think of the children?"
(But to be fair, I think they're thinking of the children too.) ^_^
My UNUSUAL Day
I'm going to defend the writer here
Everyone who talks about the mistakes are haters who wish that they could write as good. THIS STORY WAS FUCKING AWESOME AND YOU KNOW IT!!!
-- Storylover69 on 10/15/2016 8:48:00 PM
I wonder if they happen to have the same IP address as the person who wrote the story. ^_^
Pretty unlikely since GodsSlayer was a very prominent member here back in the day, and hasn't had an IP logged since like 5 years ago.
Her own story should be a gem if it's ever finished, though. Very early in development but the all important gender question has already been handled, I will be watching for updates and not allow myself to be disheartened by the fact that she registered one day and left forever the next.
My favorite unfinished story is still that one I coauthored for awhile before I couldn't handle the stupidity anymore. :)
As well as this thing that I am trying very, very hard not to write a sarcastic review for.
Unfortunately, this is real :( It reminds me of My Immortal, though not quite as terrible.
I actually stumbled across it when I was stalking online users, so you're right about that.
And that story is? Huh. I may have to stalk it now.
Didn't realize the author was still active though, since I didn't feel like looking at the profile of whoever would create something like this.
"Furry High School Dating Sim
Exactly as it sounds. A furry dating sim set in a highschool using my ocs. NOTE: although the person you play as is meant to be non binary i might end up referring to them as he or she by accident so when this happens ignore it or pretend mc is a genderfluid whatever floats your boat"
Also, this is one of their games... :(
I think I've given up on life.
There will most likely be mary sues, gary sues, and self-inserts.
From Among the Trees
That was really religious, but I like that you like made it be good for Christians. It was amazing.
-- Orchid on 12/12/2016 4:55:56 PM with a score of 0
Steve, your story is now inspiring Christians. I know how much you wanted to do this. Orchid seems to have taken the opposite perspective than what the author intended. :)
Already bitched about this one. I mean, all my games, barring Only Light, have had anti-religion vibes, and that's only an acception because it's in that mythology.
You, my friend, need some bible with a side of holy water :)
I'm guessing this guy has left a lot of comments on End's stuff as well, right?
I... don't really see anything interesting about this comment. I mean... all they're doing is suggesting the author try out some delicious Bible and have it with holy water!
This, imo, is a feature-worthy troll comment.
why dose everyone hate my work i worked hard waaaaa crys foever
-- lovewolf455 on 12/21/2016 10:43:38 PM
Lol! What game was that left on? ^_^
I can't even remember what the name was (Something kai?), but I recently deleted it. It was pretty bad.
I deleted that one too. The really shitty stories start blurring together sometimes.
It was the "spend a day as a You kai" one.
I felt so bad for the- wait, not really.
Congratulations to the winners of this year's world cup final against the death scene of a minecraft mo creeps me out to be the death eater of clans and I don't have a good day at work and thrive in the creeper rap music and thrive in the only one who is your day going so far so good to hear that you tube videos on YouTube and thrive in the morning of kingdoms mod s and thrive in the morning of the rings and thrive in a crafters isolation of the rings and apparition in a few hours before I go out and apparition in a few minutes late to the party was going on tonight or die to get it back the only way you want it back on my brother in his first game is a great time of year when they realize the death eaters are going to bed early tonight but I'm not a minecraft mods my phone is dead in the oven for about two hours of hoodie episode is the death scene of hoodie
-- Tarbo134 on 12/22/2016 2:14:51 AM with a score of 0[delete][feature]
That is one big run on sentence.
So that's how a comment is deleted/featured...
Trvfgxsggvvffzzefde rd e rd eff hubs gggggggg gfs s fyi gfs fishing g buy f chm it s fi uhh re fi I Hz ziti the death eaters think of kingdoms mod minecraft mo creeps mod wiki this week and a half ago when I was going to the death scene and I want to see you tomorrow morning and I am going out tonight but if you want to go out with Guns blazing fast food restaurant and bar with Guns blazing sun was shining and the creeper s fyi we are going out with you tube videos on YouTube video games and apparition of hoodie and thrive in the death scene of a crime in the United States is your plan for tomorrow morning at Freddy Sanchez and the only way to get it is your favorite food and drug administration
-- Tarbo134 on 12/22/2016 2:10:25 AM [delete][feature
It's like he's just spewing random words...
I saw minecraft and creepers while skimming through that.
I think he's using the Auto Complete function on a phone.
Oh! Now it makes sense... I think... Maybe?
This one is an Infinite Story classic where someone had a problem with a guy called BatCountry. Glad I saved it in the archives before the forums went dead over there.
Fuck you batcountry.
I fucking hate your ass and it's past time you got the message
WTF is wrong with you anyway? Apparently you can't fix your own damn computer (guess you were stumbling around drunk and fell on it or some shit) so you take it to some piece of shit place where they're gonna charge you out the ass for it and keep it a fucking week? Fuck that. I bet you went to Best Buy, didn't you? lol
They probably have to keep it that long just to download your porn collection. Or wait, I got it, maybe you are too helpless to get to the store on your own, and you have to wait for one of your useless, shitty friends to make time to drive down there and pick the goddamn thing up. fuck you
also if you could get up off the couch you could start getting some bottles & cans together to try to pay for this shit, cause I can only imagine you are going into some deep fucking debt over this.
This is what I think your "life" is like. You wake up at some point in the afternoon because the family dog is pissing on you again, cause you refuse to take care of your fucking pet and let it out in the yard once in awhile. You just leave the toilet lid up so it can drink, and it would still starve except you never put the motherfucking mcdonalds bags away, so it gets whatever is left in the wrapper
You lay there and let the dog piss on you. You meant to spend last night coming up with a bunch of bullshit excuses for all the shit you aren't going to do today, but you procrastinated, whoops, so fuck you. Your "brain" is working overtime trying to come up with some believable shit (protip: no one buys it), and it takes you awhile to notice what's going on.
If only your whore mother hadn't dropped you as a child, maybe you would've moved out of the way sooner, you know? Fuck. BTW, I had sex with her a few days ago, just to see what five bucks and handful of goddamn fishsticks would buy. I'd give her a 3, on a good day.
Anyway your mind isn't working, so you go into meltdown mode. you scream like a little bitch and wave your fat fucking arms in the air, slamming at anything that comes in reach. That may be what happened to the computer if you even owned one in the first place. The dog doesn't even fucking move, just sits there like an asshole & licks himself.
after an hour or two you realize what the problem is. you are thirsty.
you haven't moved your fat ass to get anything to drink for days so you are dry as hell at this point. you try but you can't get up.
you have no choice but to drink the dog piss, and because you're a waste of skin, douchebag tard pile of shit and you probably forgot, I'll remind you, it started out as toilet water, so who knows what the fuck is in it.
it's not even good in terms of dog piss. the dog was a syphilitic manwhore before you got it so again, god knows what you are doing to yourself but you pull the blanket & cushions over and suck out as much as your lame ass can stand. you are such a jackoff, jizz-rag mistake of a person that it tires you out & you sleep seven or eight more hours.
When you are awake again, some of your fingers are fucking missing. Maybe the dog got an easy meal, maybe they just got tired of dealing with your fat ass and bailed. fuck it.
you vomit up what is left of the dog piss and roll off the couch, forgetting you had just fucking vomited there. No one paid the bills since your two-timing camwhore bitch of a mother left your ass months ago, so, no power, but you manage to crawl three feet in the goddamn dark and get the emergency cell phone. its a burner your mom's racist jigaboo crack dealer left but somehow there is texting.
You power it up and try to send out your excuses for the day. But you are such an unmotivated lardass that the crawl tired you out, so you only get one off. Apparently that was to this site, so whoop-de-fucking-do, now we get to deal with it. I am so fucking tired of this bullshit. Fuck you.
You could've called whatever piece of shit dive you sent the computer to and got them to send you the file, or got someone with a fucking forklift to wheel your ass down to the place with a flash drive. Or just tell them they made a mistake, it doesn't need fixing, and hope maybe they can drop it by, but no.
You could even copy subtitles from the beast porn you're probably into and just paste it in, probably be an improvement. Next thing you'll try to lie like the two-faced toerag abortion failure you are and say they lost the computer so the contest is cancelled or some shit, fuck that. I don't fucking believe this.
It's the middle of goddamn march. You are a rugmunching, cocksucking, shitfaced dickless weasel of a person with no ability to make it happen and I hate you. It is hard to put that into words but for the love of fucking christ I have tried. Get your ass in gear or set yourself on fire, either way is good. Fuck you.
I'm sorry the rest of you had to see that, but that's just the way it is. Fucking hell. If you have anything to add this might be the time so homeboy can see what the fuck is up with this shit.
-- Rapist Jeff
... This is the most beautiful piece of literature I have ever seen. I think a tear just rolled down my eye, it really did.
Well it seems I have a few new insults to add to the arsenal now.
The True Story of Ram Sutcosky
This game taught me an important lesson. I am never eating breakfast again. Even though it is the only meal I currently eat, I have realized that not eating breakfast will equate to me FUCKING a girl within two days. Also what was with the alley shit? That was what made this game not as good as Reese's Cups. But it was worth every penny. It was free. So technically every game should be worth every penny. I hope I had a lot of s3x with my b!tch Cori ;)
-- hob gobbler (joncameranors gir on 6/10/2016 7:12:33 PM with a score of 0
I also feel that a humor tag should be added to this storygame.
Gotta say, the title of this story is disappointingly misleading considering that it’s in the Love and Romance section.
-- EndMaster on 6/12/2016 4:05:53 PM
Lol, I remember that one.
It made me laugh when I read it, but that also caused me to spill juice on myself.
TROLLED! 1/8 until I am un-banned from this site!
-- TROLLIN NECROKID on 1/4/2017 9:46:11 AM with a score of 0
Haha. Omg. This kid. I don't think he realizes his rating doesn't do shit. XD
What story is this?
That story looks like it might be taken down soon anyway.
Well, it was a pretty short story.
Kain amuses me.
Apparently Kain is Crescent's friend. I think she already explained the situation to him, but he's not listening.
Pfffh, I wrote a fucking guide for dealing with getting banned. Bastards never listen. I do quite enjoy how he "attacked" a game that probably deserves a 1/8.
So much trolling, giving a storygame the rating it deserved.
I'm terrified :( He should definitely be unbanned before he does this again!
Honestly there's no coming back for Kain, he plagiarized. I'm more willing to forgive some trolling asshole before that.
The best that Kain could do is he'd have to get a different IP, lay low, have a new name that isn't totally suspicious, and basically never post on the forums (thus exposing his fucktardery) and hope I never discover who he really is.
Oh and not plagiarize any stories while he's at it.
I don't think he's smart enough to do all that :( poor guy
*Changes his IP and makes a non suspicious name, makes an original story, then posts in the newbie section: “Hi, I used to go by the name Kain, now I’m back with a new story I just created!”*
Lol. Is it bad if I can actually see that happening?
Was that when he plagarized the Dungeons and Dragons shit? I can't remember.
"That was really religious, but I like that you like made it be good for Christians. It was amazing." - Orchid
"I love the Wooden Ring ending, but this story is so anti-Christian that I can't give it anything above a 2. Every other ending has some jab or another at Christianity. Disgusting! I mean, come on. The author clearly tries to imply that Christians are "superstitious" and "self-loathing". Such pure hatred! "- The Ghost
Neither are interesting in their own right, but I enjoy the contrast.
Here's another on one of Steve's stories:
This is just so much of 2 dimensional darkness that it's disappointing. You could squeeze it until it's brains pop out, and do you know what it's brains would be? Pencil markings! There's no love, no anger, no desperation, depression!!! There's no joy, hope, familial bonds...There's no humanity to it!!!
-- WaitForIt on 12/22/2016 12:12:17 AM with a score of 0
ADMIN EDIT: So it wasn't stretching out the forum
This kid is hilarious lol
BRING ME BAK OR I'LL TROLL FOREVER...............FOREVER.............ENDMASTER............CRESECENTSTAR, LET ME DIE..................SHE.................TOLD..................ENDMASTER..................
-- NECROKID on 1/4/2017 2:00:48 PM
BRING ME BAK OR TROLLING WILL NEVER STOP
-- NECROKID on 1/4/2017 1:53:29 PM with a score of 0
He thinks this is trolling xD
Crescent just mentioned she knew him, but not any of his alts. It's pretty easy to figure those out when you can see IPs.
Has he still been trying to come back? XD
Just deleted two more of his alts, so yeah he's still skulking about.
Holy fuck, that kid is either really determined or a true fucktard. And i'm guessing it's the second one. How many alts of his have been banned now?
When I was counting them up, I was thinking "I don't remember banning him this much." then I realized I was counting up DrkPhoenix's alts.
Anyway Kain's up to 15 so far.
Lol. Poor kid. I'm sure his trolling will improve with age... Got to say, the "Let me die" bit does confuse me. I highly doubt anybody on the sight is preventing him from dying... Or even discouraging it at that. >.<
Hey, two in one day!
"I really DO hope for a part 2,because I hate cliffhangers!" - hristoscof
On Achilles. Like, it's in the description, for fuck's sake.
So this story is pretty interesting...
*raises hand* :D
Well, technically I like everyone?
*thinks* hmm...I don't hate him or dislike him.
So you're neutral towards him?
Apathetic, neutral. Yeah.
So you really don't hate anyone?
...what about Educational Television actors?
It's hard for me to hate anyone, and I can count on one hand the people I truly hate.
I wish I was like you xD
I hate a ton of people... mainly the people who invented Elmo.
Why Elmo, exactly?
I'll tell you in the form of a short song.
In Elmo there's a monster in the garbage can,
The show is hosted by a little red man,
That's not creepy at all! That's not creepy at all!
In Elmo there's a man named Doodles in the closet,
He loves to mess with the bathroom faucet,
That's not creepy at all! That's not creepy at all!
In Elmo there is an insane beaver,
And for some reason he has a meat cleaver,
Huh. Okay, I'm going to admit right now I have never watched Elmo before so I'm completely lost xD
You're so fucking lucky. Never, EVER watch it unless you want your eyes to bleed.
Doesn't this make two stories dedicated to be being angry at Mizal?
Sinning time :D
"WHOEVER DELETED MY LAST STORY FUCK YOU"
Hmm...I wonder why your last story was deleted. Oh! Perhaps it was a 1/8 garbage that you kept spam republishing?
"YO BRANDON LETS WRITE ANOTHER STORY BECAUSE THESE MOTHERFUCKERS DONT UNDERSTAND THE ART OF COMEDY"
Saying this makes people assume Brandon is a person, or even a friend, when Brandon is actually the name of your cat. Its obvious you have absolutely no friends as you're wasting your time making this.
Also, comedy is BIG LETTERS PEOPLE. BIG LETTERS. NOTHING GETS PEOPLE LAUGHING MORE THAN LETTERS THAT MAKE IT SEEM LIKE SOMEONE IS SCREAMING AT YOU. HEY! WHY AREN'T YOU LAUGHING?
"FUCK U MIZAL AND YOUR COMMENT
THIS IS NOT THE SAME PERSON THAT WROTE THAT FILLER EPISODE BUT I AM FRIENDS WITH THE OTHER WRITER"
That would be a very awkward threesome.
Also, that's rather hard to believe. The fact that you have real friends, I mean. You should really get the "voices in your head that claim to be your friends" checked out though.
Also, discount white knight.
No thank you. I have standards, low as they are.
"HAHAHAHAH TRY BLOCKING ME AGAIN BITCHES
IM JUST GONNA WRITE ANOTHER STORY
THERE IS NOTHING U CAN DO ABOUT IT
ESPECIALLY U MIZAL"
Hmm...I wonder what can be done about this? Oh, yes. Banned.
Total Sin Tally: 9
Sentence: "FUUUUUUCCCCKKK YOU"
This game is the biggest load of hogwash I have ever experienced in my 82 long years. This will be the last time I ever use this 'internet' evil and start replacing my porn collection with a wholesome ferret collection.<br><br>May Satan have mercy on your soul,<br><br>Sir Farran Daw OBE
-- Farran Daw on 10/19/2004 10:29:48 PM
More than a decade old, this must be rare.
I don't think he hates the internet if he can code
I don't think he's also actually 82 if he can fuck up on coding
But if he is, he's probably dead by now
We can take solace in this
I just wonder if he was ever successful in creating his wholesome ferret collection.
This begs the question:
How does one go about making a ferret "collection", anyway? (let alone a "wholesome" one)
Does he just have one of each species of ferret, or does he take the extra step and go full Noah's Ark, with one male and one female per species?
How does he acquire these ferrets? By buying them or catching them? Can you even buy some species? And if he does buy them, do they just let him buy 10 ferrets and leave the store with them? Does animal control get involved?
But the most important question:
What does he do with his porn?!
Not dead enough, old chap.
I want to know why he felt the need to replace his porn with ferrets. I mean, those aren't mutually exclusive things!
Also, I don't believe the Farran Daw that posted in this thread is the same drive-by guest until there is verification from the mods.
It was me.
I knew it!
I came back to this site a couple of weeks ago after a long time away from it to discover that a purge policy had been instated. I was up until now hesitant about the policy, thinking that more storygames were still a good thing, whether they were much good or not.
Well, I can safely say that I am now 100% in support of purging.
-- pime on 1/6/2017 9:53:42 AM with a score of 0
Glad to see our glorious brand of keeping order is being appreciated around here.
Here, for the benefit of those who missed it, I just copy/pasted the funzies path:
Mizal is a bitch, whore, cunty fuckface
So you like mizal do you? Think she's a cool person? Well fuck you all! I shall expose her for the evil, soulless, racist, sexist, homophobic, xenophobic, suicide bombing, AIDs ridden whore that she is! (She's probably a pedo too. If you have a child, there's a 90% chance that mizal has touched them inappropriately at some point in time. Just thought I should let you know.)
So, you've just arrived on the site and have decided to make your very first story-game. You're so excited to show off your writing talent to the CYS community. What kind of story do you wat to write?
A steaming pile of horse crap that I threw together in five minutes with no real plot-line where half the words are spelled incorrectly and there's a bunch of pages with no links because I got bored and couldn't be bothered to finish the game.
And finally, your magnum opus "christal gos 2 skool" is complete! You proudly publish it for the world to see and shortly after you see that you have a comment! Why, it appears to be from mizal. Let's see what she has to say...
"This game was not very good. Please try harder next time."
... Well, what are you going to do about that?
... Why that little bitch! Fuck her, she's just jealous of me! I'll show her! I'll write a story game all about what an evil, monkey-raping cunt she is! That'll teach her to fuck with me!
You transfer all your rage into an equally crappy story game all about what a bitch mizal is and how much you hate her! In this game, you kindly explain to all the members of CYS that she only gave you a negative review because she's so jealous of your raw talent and she knows she could never be as good a writer as you!
Finally, you end the game by giving the player the option to brutally sodomise mizal with a baseball bat wrapped in barbed wire and your game is done! You wait a little while and see that once again, mizal is the first to leave a comment! Let's see what she has to say now...
"Oh dear God, I am so sorry! I had no idea the pain that I was causing to you and all other sub-par writers with the negative reviews that I left. I thought I was being helpful by encouraging people to put more effort into their story-games. Now I see that I was only hurting people and I cannot live with myself anymore. I pray that one day you will be able to forgive me."
That same day, mizal takes her life by filling every body opening she has with epoxy until she finally explodes. Every noob, troll and general shitty writer on CYS celebrates! Never again will you have to suffer the sting of constructive criticism!!! ... You know, except from every other member of the site.
Congratulations! You have won the game! Free cookies for everyone! ^_^
Oh and here's Rommy's comment:
I can see how some people might not understand this game, but I, for one, applaud this fauvist approach to CYOA. The raw emotion, and the disregard to mainstream writing conventions present in this piece sets a brave, avant-gardist, new path for an art form that is so often bogged down in clichés like structure and storyline.
The pseudonym under which the writer published this work gives an 'outsider art' feeling to the piece that strengthens its message of protest, and disregard for the social conventions that dictate the 'proper' form of stories both on this site, and the broader writing community.
However, while this daring piece of art should, in my opinion, go down into the annals of CYS history, I only regret its relatively short size, and the focus on one particular aspect of the CYS writing community, while it could have been presented as a magnum opus manifesto to break down the walls of social conventions. Though this is certainly a good beginning.
All in all, a story that's worth reading through, before its inevitable deletion.
-- Romulus on 1/7/2017 7:34:37 AM
Could be worse. Someone could bring up the fact that they didn't know the country was so oppressive thirty three years ago.
What's worse is that none of the Bioshocks take place in that time period.
What story was it?
The comment says it's a new storygame and was published today, and Mizal said it has 1984 in the title.
Try hard to find this information, Tim.
I'm not touching the New Storygames section with a ten foot pole.
Newest one posted.
Wait... 3J wrote "shouldent"? *Rings a little bell* Shame. Shame. Shame. Shame.
Also I like the amount of people complaining about the lack of pictures and animation in a text based game. ^_^
I had just turned 13 when I wrote that comment haha.
Not an excuse! Shame! ^_^
3J has been shamed? Wow. Now i've seen everything.
I'll take 13 year old me over 13 year old you!
I'll have you know 13 year old me was highly intelligent, spelled everything correctly and could hold her breath underwater fr 10 minutes! ^_^
I think any living person knows how to spell "Everything" correctly.
Wait, you meant the WORD "everything" right?
Otherwise i've just shamed myself by being a noob
I'm afraid you overestimate the spelling skills of your fellow man. Pretty sure I've seen "Everyting" and even "Everythink" a few times. >.<
That's not as bad as when someone pronounces "Blossom" as "Bell-aw-sum"
That's when you know they're a pokemon fan.
... And I just realized I spelled "For" wrong. My writing skills must be fading in my old age.
That is the funniest thing ever.
"13 year old me spelled everything correctly"
I'm just going to chalk this up as a win for 13-year-old me.
Not just yet, 3J. In "The Tower" when you say thanks to Havacoman, it says "are" instead of "our!"
The 13 year old war shall never stop! (Or war in general)
You wanna compare yourself to 13 year-old them? (Assuming you've even reached that age yet, hahalol)
1) I'm not comparing myself to anyone.
2) I'm older then 13
Lemme guess, you're 14?
Nah, I'll leave it undefined. That way, you can have an excuse for your folly.
Minnie is older than me
I'm older then you? I have more awesomeness!
You know the last pic of the tub. That was soo unappropiate. How bout making a game that doesn't include, sexuality. -- Jan on 7/4/2005 11:21:56 AM
Way to many innuendos and mature hints for the maturity level the creator chose for the story. Keep your children away from this one. -- Rafe on 5/28/2015 3:17:27 PM
For some reason these two stood out as the funniest.
For some reason I read 3J's comment in a seven year olds voice >~<