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Hey guys! I'm constantly trying to reward people for contributing to the site. There are many automated ways to get points (duels, storygames, daily points, articles, etc.) but I also try to give points out for other forms of contributions. Currently, I'm trying to give points out for:

Having a comment featured (2 points)
Contributing excellent aid in the advenced editor forum (Variable Points)

But, I'm a busy guy and it's pretty tough to keep track of everything that's happening, so I'm also giving points out for the following:

Recommending a comment for featuring (1 point)
Recommending a user's excellent aid in the last six months for points (1 point)
Recommending a tag change for a storygame (1 point)
Recommending a storygame for movement to a different category (1 point)
Recommending a storygame for a change in maturity level or difficulty level (1 point for each)
Recommending a storygame for featuring (1 point)
Recommending a storygame for unpublishing (1 point)
Recommending a comment for deletion (1 point)

So, in other words, if you go, right now, and find 5 storygames where they haven't properly tagged their storygame (there are literally dozens of these out there), then you'll get 5 points.

The catch: to get points for recommending something, I have to agree with you. If you recommend a story for featuring and I don't feature it, then you don't get the points. This is to prevent people from gaming the system. Don't worry, for most of the above reccomendations, you won't get rejected often if you follow proper procedure.

I believe Cool74 got around 100 points doing this, the last time I did it.

However, you need to follow the correct procedure to get your points!

Recommending a comment for featuring:

Reply to THIS thread to THIS post with:
- A link to the storygame
- The comment that you think deserves featuring (copy and paste it)
- The username of the person who wrote the comment (doesn't have to be the exact username, just enough so I understand who it is)
- If there are already 3 featured comments on the storygame, you also have to let me know whose comment you think should be replaced.
- If I agree, you will get 1 point and the person whose comment is featured will get 2 points. If you are reccomending your own comment, then you only get 2 points.

Recommending a comment for deletion:

Reply to THIS thread to THIS post with:
- A link to the storygame
- The comment that you think deserves deletion (copy and paste it)
- The username of the person who wrote the comment (doesn't have to be the exact username, just enough so I understand who it is)
 

Note: Do not recommend comments on Endmaster's or madglee's games for deletion unless they are spammy or deformed. Basically, Endmaster and madglee like to read their flamers so don't rob them of that.

 

Recommending a user's aid in the advanced editor (post must be made in the last 6 months)

Reply to THIS thread to THIS post with:
- The user who provided the aid
- A link to the post where he provided the aid

Recommending a tag change for a storygame

Reply to THIS thread to THIS post with:
- A link to the storygame
- All of the tags you believe the story should have

Recommending a category change for a storygame

Reply to THIS thread to THIS post with:
- A link to the storygame
- The category you believe it should be in
- A short explanation of why

Recommending a change in maturity or difficulty level for a storygame

Reply to THIS thread to THIS post with:
- A link to the storygame
- The change you think should be made
- A short explanation of why

Recommending a storygame for featuring

Use http://chooseyourstory.com/forums/the-parlor-room/message/11750

Recommending a storygame for unpublishing

Reply to THIS thread to THIS post with:
- A link to the storygame
- A short explanation of why

If you don't follow protocol, either there will be no negative repercussions, you will be ignored, or I'll take your advice and not reward you with points. Following protocol expedites the process for me so I don't have to spend a lot of time making changes.

To summarize: post here (for the most part) with recommendations for who I should reward / what I should change and I'll reward you with points.

Additionally, I'll consider giving more points for users who build up a streak of great suggestions.

Thank you! Happy Hunting!

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/will's-life-and-times

^This was nothing more than a bunch of short loops, and while it didn't fail any of the requirements needed to create a storygame, no threads are longer than maybe 3-5 pages that loop back to the beginning.

My bad! I should also mention that you need to tell me what you're expecting me to do. I'm assuming you're recommending this for unpublishing?

Edit: I've decided not to unpublish this story. While it's absolutely horrible, it's not blatantly linear (and short) and doesn't break any site rules. In other words, huntertm wasn't trolling when he wrote it.

Oops!  Yeah, I think this one needs to go (still scrolling furiously through all stories for a 1 1/2 * rating).

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/words-you-probably-don't-know (unpublish)

^Way too short, and the only merit it has is having the score system.

lol, my sister wrote that 8 years ago, crazy! She would have been 7 or 8.

Anyway, I agree with you that it's terrible, but it doesn't break any site rules and isn't a troll's effort, so I'm going to leave it up.

Lol your sister wrote that?

Yes.

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/warriors-2~21~21~21~21 (unpublish)

Worthless game, nonsensical. 

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/life-of-a-cat (unpublish)

Again, worthless, little to no character development.

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/warriors (unpublish)

Kitty porn

Warriors 2: Gone

Life of a Cat: While terrible, it's not bad enough to remove IMO.

Warriors: Wow. Gone.

NOOO! Not the kitty porn! 

Dang, you beat me to it.

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/how-to-get-out-of-jail

Short, literally one string of choices, and overall garbage game. For removal.

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/grandfather%27s-typewriter

Same.

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/randomly-walk

You... walk. It's a site/forum meme right now (SentinelPenguin wrote a fan fic of this masterpiece) but it really has no point. For removal.

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/wednesday

For removal, pointless. The last page even declares it as a troll game, "You should thank me for the free point!" yadayada.

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/the-flight-for-freedom

...Wut? (For removal)

How to get out of jail: Gone

Typewriter: Gone

Randomly Walk: HAHAHAHHA, I COULDN'T HELP BUT LAUGH SO HARD AT THIS. I DON'T KNOW WHY. I know I should remove it but I can't bring myself to do it right now, especially since it's tagged as humor. Wow. I have not been this torn in so long.

Wednesday: While absolutely horrible, I don't think it's quite bad enough to warrant unpublishing as of right now. It's not trolling and it's got at least a modicum of effort behind it.

The Flight for Freedom: Gone

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/1~2e-narcissism

Either he'll take it down or someone else will.  Just a one-string mistake.

This isn't published?

It was a few minutes ago.

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/the-chamber~2e (unpublish)

Poo jokes. 

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/minecraft-adventure~21 (unpublish)

Random Deaths, linear. (as far as I can tell)

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/random-dayz (unpublish)

Same as Minecraft

The Chamber: Keeping it up, but that's as close to as an unpublishing as it gets.

Minecraft Adventure: Gone

Random Dayz: Not bad enough to be unpublished. They put effort into it, even if it is terrible.

Got some positive ones:  :)

http://chooseyourstory.com/forums/advanced-editor-forum/message/11492 (advanced editor)

Killa Robot. Don't know if what he said was obvious or not, but in Briar's words it saved her hours. 

http://chooseyourstory.com/forums/advanced-editor-forum/message/11387 (advanced editor)

Killa again. Explained in simple terms what BZ said.

http://chooseyourstory.com/forums/advanced-editor-forum/message/11078 (advanced editor)

Short and concise answer to cMitchell's problem. BZ

Really, just anything BZ and Killa write on the advanced editor forum, haha.

Yeah, but I don't get points for saying that. 

Because then I have to look for them. You're getting points for helping me do my job :)

http://chooseyourstory.com/forums/advanced-editor-forum/message/10958

BZ again, Short and concise answer

Agreed and awarded Berka, but you need to reply to the OP :)

Whoops, sorry about that. XD 

Agreed on all 3 of those.

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/boys-at-school-~2d-for-girls

Briar_Rose's comment was brilliant, IMO-

 

Agreed on Briar Rose but I didn't think Zero's comment was well-written enough. He would laugh so hard if he saw that comment, he's become so much better as a writer.

 

Lol. Yes, I was proud of that one 

For removal:

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/mech-mission

Yeah, this is a troll game...

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/dummy

Well, it's a test game with barely any choices. The author wasn't serious at all about it, and it shows...

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/katawa--shoujo

3 choices, 3 seconds you wasted reading it...

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/wtf~3f~3f~3f-game

Suitably 'wtf' :P

Mech Mission: Gone

Dummy: Gone (fun fact: Voljin = Marmotlord for duel cheating like Ford did... maybe Ford = Marmotlord....)

Katawa: Gone

wtf: Gone

Wow, 4/4.

 

 

Can we recommend comments for deletion? 

YES! Great idea. I've awarded you 5 points for coming up with it. Read the addition to the opening post with the rules for recommending comments for deletion.

Can I get teh points for asking Berka to delete a whole buncha comments several weeks ago in PM? XD

Unfortunately not, but good on you!

Huzzah!

Don't deprive him of  the flamers XD

Okay, haha. (I had a good dozen lined up from his games, back to the list).

Can we pick short, one word comments (Like "Aww") or other, worthless, space-hogging comments that don't really mean anything in particular? 

Yes

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/daydream-syndrome

Agreed on all counts.

Delete Comment(s):

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/Are-You-Chicken~3f

 

Agreed! All gone.

I don't remember that

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/die-zombie~21-die~21-pt-ii

Agreed.

(Perhaps both, I feel epiclab's comment deserves to be deleted on the merit of it being entirely capitalized)

Agreed on the first comment, though that is barely deletable.

As for the 2nd one, I did both, but in the future, please recommend a new maturity level, based on the maturity level guide found in help and info or from the game pages.

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/cysid-wars

Remove literally every single tag it has and replace with "Humor" or "Parody".

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/the-giant-house-of-idiocy

Deletion, it is literally just a consistent series of loops and is otherwise entirely linear.

Also, if possible, delete my own comment?

---

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/the-firebird

Cysid Wars - Agree

Giant House of Idiocy - Not deleting it, it's not quite that bad. I will delete your comment but I won't give you points for it hahaha.

DTP - Agree

Firebird - Agree

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/mattias-the-one-knight

 

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/eternal-night

recommend Briar_Rose's comment for featuring (currently has no featured comments)

The game didn't really make much sense to me. I just can't tell what the point was, or if the ending was supposed to be a cliffhanger for a part 2, or if it was just a really strange end to the game. The beginning promises too much. It indicates that every decision you make is important. Unfortunately, at times where the player could actually make an important decision, they're only given one option, and the decisions they can make aren't important at all. Still, it started out quite interesting, but if you're going to make a game where the character wake up in a strange and magical world, then you should have a strange and magical game where the player meets strange and magical characters and makes strange and magical choices. Options like "Which room do you want to go to?" aren't interesting and ultimately don't even matter

Should we even feature comments on stories with a 2 rating? Seems rather pointless.

Also, JJJ, why would you say you were overruled by the community to not delete short one words comments, and then proceed to agree to delete short one words comments only moments later? I mean, I don't think "K" is a really valid comment, but there's certainly no reason to delete it either.

One word is still better than one letter.

It would qualify as spam at that point.

I think Briar deserves to be rewarded for taking the time to give a real review, even to a game that has a low rating.

Sorry, I'd forgotten what the argument was about. I think it was actually about unsubstantiated negative comments. 1 word comments are just fine for deletion. Comments should be featured on all stories, on low rated stories, comments focused on improving the writer should be featured.

Yeah, I think I remember a conversation like that, though I had thought it ended with we should leave most comments unless they're really really bad.

If we hate one word comments, why don't we create a minimum character amount for when they leave a comment?

One word comments like "bad" or "good", should actually stay, according to the community.

One word comments that don't even express an opinion should go, like "k" or "lol" or what have you.

My opinion was that all negative comments should require substantiation.

Hmm, fair enough.

Damn, time to edit away my entire list...

If you're interested: http://chooseyourstory.com/forums/the-lounge/message/6835

I still hold the opinion that unless the author wants it removed (and it's a bad comment), that comments shouldn't be touched, but I guess the feeling of the community has changed and they want to be more proactive now.

...Or they just all want points haha.

I'm not opening this debate in this thread.

Given you're already enforcing it this way, and the majority of people seem to agree with you, a debate would be rather pointless anyway lol.

No! I'm not removing negative one word comments, which is what I would love to do. I'm removing junk comments, which the discussion wasn't about. As in, I won't delete comments unless they are flaming, or nonsense like "k". The debate was about unsubstantiated criticism like "shitty game".

I'm not trying to say we're just doing whatever you want (which is how I think I'm coming off), I'm saying a debate for my side (only deleting at the request of the author) seems to be far from what everyone else wants, and thus debating it would be pointless.

OH, sorry, I thought that you were under the impression that I was just being a cavalier and changing the rules. If I change the rules, I'll make a post and I'll probably ask for community involvement, like last time.

Nah, I just find the one-word comments annoying; personally, as an author, I wouldn't welcome them either.

 

But to each their own, I suppose. 

Sethaniel, if you could reply to the OP, you'd make my life easier :)

I agree about the featuring though!

Agreed!

Delete comments:

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/Johnny-Castaway

 

Agreed on all comments.

Edit: Congratulations on 666 points.

Woot! I'm considering letting it stay like that though... maybe haha. Thanks 3J ^_^

Agreed

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/Destroy-Cartoon-Network~21-

 

lol that escalated quickly. Handled.

What about false ratings? for example a game that mostly gets 6 or 7 is given a 1?

I can't do anything about that, unfortunately. However, in most cases, outliers are not counted towards calculating the rating so rest easy :)

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/wtf~3f~3f~3f-game unpublish
This game is not complete.

This story is not published :)

one of the only good comments

Agreed

Good comment: http://chooseyourstory.com/story/warlords~3a-strategic-conquest

 

So, according to the decisions made in this thread:

http://chooseyourstory.com/forums/the-lounge/message/6835

The community strongly argued for comments like "it sucks!" to be allowed to stay. I strongly disagree, as I voiced in that thread, but the community spoke.

Absolutely agree about thewaiter's comment though.

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/veangance-quest

 

Agreed, but also featured madglee's comment.

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/valhalla Best comment:

 

Agreed, but barely. That 'allot' really annoyed me haha.

 

Agreed.

 

Agreed

Eh, to be honest some of the larger negative comments are far more annoying than the one word negative comments.

I actually respect it a lot more when someone just writes something idiotic like "gay" or "kill yourself lol" rather than some long winded pretentious attempt to sound like a "clever" literary critic.

That being said, don't delete any of the comments on my stuff, it all forms a rich tapestry or something.

Really the only ones I ever call for deletion are the ones that do something like thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiis and stretch out the page or when someone accidentally posts the same comment multiple times.

Yeah, I'll delete spammy comments on yours and madglees but I won't delete hateful ones.

The one word negative comments don't provide any sort of constructive criticism, but they will be left.

---

Though Feanor's story has already been re-published and some of these faults have likely been fixed, I feel that Briar's comment here easily fits the criteria for a featured comment and that it was helpful enough to Feanor when he was re-making his game that it should be featured regardless.

---

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/rising-flames

Agreed!

Yey! I did something good ^_^

You should probably ctrl+f your name in this thread.

For feature-comments:

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/1-day

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/The-Insanity-Complex

 

1. I don't like that format for a featured comment. I'm looking for featured comments which are written nicely and flow well.

2. Totally agree.

1. Ah, okay. I get it ^_^

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/warior-catz~21~21~211~21

While it's a parody, we

a) have a Better one up.

b) still shouldn't allow garbage games on the site. Unpublish

You clearly just can't understand how deep that story is.

Damn plebeian!

:,(

Agreed!

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/Raceia

(For feature, obviously)

---

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/Get-out-alive

 

For deletion:

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/Farewell,-My-Childhood-Self

 

Agreed on all points.

Aaand some more for deletion:

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/magus~3a-betrayal

---

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/Zombie-Story

 

Agreed

I believe Cool74 got around 100 points doing this, the last time I did it.

That was when it was 2 points per recommendation but yeah, it was impressive. (It was 2 points because we desparately needed feature comments since it was just established)

http://chooseyourstory.com/forums/the-parlor-room/message/8017

Damnit 3J, you just edited in that link!

Hahaha, to be fair, I edited it in before you posted.

Nuh uh!

http://chooseyourstory.com/forums/the-parlor-room/message/8017

Haha, Cool is such a nerd XD

 

Agreed

Feature Comment:

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/Get-To-Work,-Squarepants~21

 

Delete:

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/WORST-DAY-OF-YOUR-LIFE~21~21~21

(Note how all of them are from the same person...)

I don't think that comment quite warrants featuring but I deleted those comments.

The Cave: Agreed on Amy2, but I didn't think the other two comments were feature-worthy.

HP4: Agreed on both

Rockabs: I actually don't agree with either of your choices. I'm looking for a higher standard of writing. I did feature Briar's comment though.

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/true-love-lasts-forever,-or-does-it~3f

Unpublish: It's really short, and linear.

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/crab-arena~21

Change category into fantasy. It isn't modern adventure for sure.

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/the-king's-logic-puzzle

Move to Mystery and Puzzle. Fits better there I think.

The horror! Two games in the wrong category, BZ! You have escaped so far, but I now call out your falsities.

 

 

http://chooseyourstory.com/forums/advanced-editor-forum/message/10094

Killa, for having a clear explanation.

I'm actually not going to unpublish that first game. That was not at all a good storygame, but it's not quite bad enough to unpublish. I will say, the part where she's like 'that was the last time I ever saw Connor' was actually hysterical to me. It was so out of the blue, and it actually wasn't linear.

Crab Arena will be moved to Everything Else. I'll give you the point for suggesting it but I don't think Fantasy Adventure is the place to go.

I agree about The King's Logic Puzzle.

I'll give you the point for recommending Killa but I'm going to put a stipulation that it has to be the last 6 months.

If it makes you feel any better, you've probably still gotten more points from this thread than anyone not named Tanstaafl.

MWAAHAHAHHA

Yep.

The crab's can deploy elemental powers, so I figured it should be put in fantasy.

I see what you're saying but since there's no plot or setting, it doesn't fit well in fantasy.

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/Your-quest-around-Rhode-island

Feature-worthy comments:

 

Agreed on everything

Tag: Humour

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/Moose%27s-colour-adventure

 

Feature comment:

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/The-interrogator-%28movie%29

 

Agreed about the humor tag.

I didn't think there were any featurable comments on the interrogator.

I didn't think Awesomeness' comment was well written enough to deserve featuring

I agree about October's comment even though he expressly forbade me from featuring anything of his pre-2010.

@last thing about October, uh, may I inquire why? XD

Same reason I'm embarassed by the way I wrote when I was way younger. October is a year younger than me so he would have joined the site at the same age that I did, since he joined a year after me.

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/math-quiz (Unpublish)

Please, get rid of this damn thing, it's pure trolling. A three question so-called "quiz" which advertises itself as "very, very hard" and "for 30 year olds" when the questions are "What is 1+1", "what is 10-2" and "what is 20+20." The guy that made it proudly posted in the forums that it was "so fun" and though the comments are gone now, he actually posted "it was so hard!" in the comments. xD

Math Quiz isn't published?

Eh? It isn't? It was... ... huh. Never-mind, then.

Another one? Im pretty sure these guys are publishing and unpublishing their games just for points...

This was happening before. Interesting theory.

Edit: Looking at his point history, it looks like I manually unpublished his game 5 days ago and penalized him points. I don't remember this.

Might have been Madglee

Only if he used the exact same format I use. Possible.

Delete comments:

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/Die-Untoten-,-Kapitel-1

 

I deleted the first one, but I don't think the second one technically warrants deletion, as much as I'd like to.

Edit: Congrats on 700 points.

Alright. I think I got a majority of the comments in the Love and Dating section that are fit for deletion:

·         http://chooseyourstory.com/story/~2e~2e~2ein-love-and-war

WOWOWOWOWOWOWOW

-- WWOWOWOWO on 12/27/2013 8:08:33 PM

i past

-- kaleel on 2/5/2013 4:25:41 PM

·         http://chooseyourstory.com/story/college-romance

SUCKS!!!

-- Juliet on 10/5/2013 3:34:31 PM

shit! worst bollocks ever

-- cool guy 666 on 11/18/2011 6:09:06 PM

bad

-- on 1/16/2005 8:37:03 PM

·         http://chooseyourstory.com/story/dating~3a-mission-impossible

I don'tlike this age,m

-- penut on 11/27/2005 4:06:29 PM

Hi Im jhfjkh. I hate ur game. It is like $#%&!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

-- jhfjkh on 11/16/2005 8:14:54 AM

boaring

-- on 7/29/2005 6:49:55 AM

?<br><br>What a waste of my time, dude.<br><br>You reek.

-- Anus on 2/21/2003 7:29:51 AM

???

-- 13 on 1/31/2003 7:23:55 AM

·         http://chooseyourstory.com/story/desperate-heart

GAY

-- Bum on 6/26/2013 6:35:39 PM with a score of 0

E

-- flanatom000 on 12/13/2012 5:32:13 PM with a score of 0

gfdffdd

-- ghgh on 6/15/2011 6:23:51 AM with a score of 0

·         http://chooseyourstory.com/story/forgotten-rose

boreing

-- jaidenbornt on 2/8/2012 2:21:59 PM

·         http://chooseyourstory.com/story/hey-mom

Why am I not in this?????????? #forgettable

-- aweiorfhajskdf on 4/4/2013 2:07:43 PM

·         http://chooseyourstory.com/story/highschool

a

-- x on 8/17/2012 7:06:42 PM

·         http://chooseyourstory.com/story/how-to-get-the-girl

that sucked

-- poop on 11/2/2013 2:19:07 PM with a score of 0

This is stupid.

-- Grev on 10/15/2013 12:59:09 AM with a score of 0

ok no bad

-- sogogoso on 1/23/2007 2:53:08 PM with a score of 0

·         http://chooseyourstory.com/story/maranda

It sounds like a slutty 4rth grader trying to write a story where you save a slut. You probably passed elementary, but then it became hard for you. You're probably one of those "popular" faggots. You suck.

 

-- A Really Mean HAG on 5/2/2012 8:08:11 PM

·         http://chooseyourstory.com/story/seraph-serenade-

its really touching is there any way to keep her

-- Wilko19 on 8/31/2013 10:46:57 PM with a score of 34

its really touching is there any way to keep her

-- Wilko19 on 8/31/2013 10:46:57 PM with a score of 34

its really touching is there any way to keep her

-- Wilko19 on 8/31/2013 10:46:57 PM with a score of 34

its really touching is there any way to keep her

-- Wilko19 on 8/31/2013 10:46:57 PM with a score of 34

its really touching is there any way to keep her

-- Wilko19 on 8/31/2013 10:46:57 PM with a score of 34

its really touching is there any way to keep her

-- Wilko19 on 8/31/2013 10:46:56 PM with a score of 34

its really touching is there any way to keep her

-- Wilko19 on 8/31/2013 10:46:56 PM with a score of 34

?

-- an2zn on 6/13/2013 12:29:42 PM with a score of 42

·         http://chooseyourstory.com/story/simon's-day

eh

-- tgsunrise on 5/12/2011 7:24:23 PM

egh.

-- DarthVader_13 on 2/28/2007 6:01:16 PM

·         http://chooseyourstory.com/story/snow

mess

-- f on 1/2/2014 3:48:51 AM with a score of 0

?

-- ck23838 on 7/15/2013 12:13:19 AM with a score of 0

no

-- s on 1/29/2013 6:59:54 PM with a score of 0

·         http://chooseyourstory.com/story/snow-love

poo poo344343434343333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333

-- nb, b on 10/13/2013 9:52:33 PM

·         http://chooseyourstory.com/story/the-proposal

ads

-- sad on 5/25/2013 11:23:03 PM with a score of 0

·         http://chooseyourstory.com/story/the-regrets-of-a-teenage-romantic

stupid

-- Gurgle on 5/31/2012 10:26:57 PM

k

-- SSDSSDSSD on 4/8/2012 9:32:33 PM

·         http://chooseyourstory.com/story/you're-the-bachelor

dat was gd yo 4 sho!!

-- lamborgini-merci on 9/17/2013 10:41:09 PM

 

 

*Whistles appreciatively

Been busy for the past few days and now I have far too much time on my hands, but thanks. XD I'll try to do another one of the shorter sections tomorrow, just for a heads up 3J.

Thank you!

Love and War - Agreed

College Romance - Unfortunately, according to the community, 1 word comments that provide criticism can't be deleted. I would delete these if I could.

Dating: MI - Agreed, I can't say that boaring is a one word comment that is relevant to the game since I don't recall any boar hunting in it ;)

Desperate Heart - Deleted the second two

Forgotten Rose - Can't delete it :(

Hey Mom - Can't delete it :(

Highschool - Deleted

How to Get the Girl - Can't delete it :(

Maranda - Deleted

Seraph - Deleted

Simon's Day - Deleted

Snow - Deleted

Snow Love - Deleted

The Proposal - Deleted

Regrets of a Teenage - Deleted the second one

You're the Bachelor - Didn't delete, don't think it's delete worthy, just cringy.

Yeah, no problem! Happy to help with this. :)

More like happy to get the points. :D

Its a nice little incentive, yes. XD But I'm glad to see some of these comments go.

Unless this is unpublished by the next time you get on-

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/zone

Not a story or game. Not much of anything, really.

AGreed

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/a-hero%27s-odyssey

Hmm, I think this should actually be put into 'Fan-fiction' funnily enough. It's loosely based off the Odyssey. If it gets moved I think it should be featured as well.

Either way, this comment should be deleted-

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/Sweeney-Todd-quiz

 

I dunno, I'm pretty okay with that storygame in Edutainment. I feel like it teaches enough about the odyssey to be educating and it doesn't really fit in well with the stories in fan fictions.

Agreed on the deletion

 

 

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/hey-mom

Change difficulty to 4 or 5.

It's quite easy to get a good ending.

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/splitting-souls

Up maturity to 5 or 6, has mentions of "making love", nakedness and porn.

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/your-birthday

A description of the beginning of sex so up maturity to 6.

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/the-animal-says-what~3f-(1)

Change category to modern adventure.

...reverencia, I dont think you got the majority of comment in Love & Dating that are fit for deletion.

The Hey Mom comments are legitimate comments about the storygame and won't be removed.

I didn't delete masterelf's 'that was odd' comment.

The rest I agree with.

Love Triangle > ChooseYourStory.com

http://chooseyourstory.com/forums/newbie-central/message/10747 (BZ helping Victorii)

http://chooseyourstory.com/forums/newbie-central/message/10373 (BZ again) 

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/chess-master-stan~21 

Change Category to Everything Else.

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/choose-your-own-birthday-adventure

Change category to Modern Adventure. 

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/conquest~3a-chapter-i

Add Tags: RPG, War,

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/cons-of-war~2d-early-times~2e

Add Tag: War

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/demons-stole-the-sky

Remove Tag: Previously Featured. 

THANK YOU FOR HYPERLINKING!!!!!!!!

Chess Master Stan is in the correct category... there are wizards. Make sure to read through storygames that you suggest category changes for.

I wouldn't call Conquest an RPG.

In the future, when recommending tags, it's not enough to remove all that tags that are bad, you need to list all of the tags it should have. Most stories will get either a serious or a funny tag.

Aman, there's a thing called a edit button so you don't have to post multiple times :D

There's a thing called Aman organizing shit by edit required. :D 

You should edit your posts where possible, please.

Edited. 

Thanks!

Comments for deletion:

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/Hockey-Quiz~3a-What-NHL-player-are-you~21

 

Agreed

Comments from Edutainment for deletion:

·         http://chooseyourstory.com/story/christmas~2e

hi

-- adam on 11/5/2013 11:19:35 PM with a score of 15

·         http://chooseyourstory.com/story/adventures-with-raven

-- on 3/25/2005 4:40:04 PM

(Nothing is written here)

·         http://chooseyourstory.com/story/greek-labyrinth

lalalalalala

-- Kake on 3/24/2013 9:41:17 AM with a score of 300

good bitch

-- biscuit barrel on 3/5/2013 2:44:27 PM with a score of 300

·         http://chooseyourstory.com/story/obamacare

the fact that the government is paying for something does NOT mean that Americans are not voting for it. Everything the government makes and produces comes out of our pockets in the form of tax dollars. The solution to health care is not to force people to purchase health care. This is if to solve world hunger you made a law saying every person must by themselves food or be fined. people are not refusing to by insurance because they don't want to it's because they don't have the money.

-- JamesValkyrie on 10/23/2013 7:07:00 PM

the fact that the government is paying for something does NOT mean that Americans are not voting for it. Everything the government makes and produces comes out of our pockets in the form of tax dollars. The solution to health care is not to force people to purchase health care. This is if to solve world hunger you made a law saying every person must by themselves food or be fined. people are not refusing to by insurance because they don't want to it's because they don't have the money.

-- JamesValkyrie on 10/23/2013 7:06:57 PM

(Nothing bad with this one, but maybe one of them can be deleted, since they’re two of the same thing?)

-          http://chooseyourstory.com/story/revolutionary-war

This game sucks splotchy the robots dick!

-- haledakota on 7/12/2012 6:08:53 PM

it sucks @#$%^

-- stegythedinosaur on 4/8/2012 1:51:02 PM

suck my duck

-- storymaster on 3/18/2012 1:50:19 AM

·         http://chooseyourstory.com/story/rob-a~2e-millikan's-oil-drop-experiment

The

-- Xt1000305 on 9/22/2012 6:16:30 AM with a score of 0

-          http://chooseyourstory.com/story/the-firebird

 Fucking bad piece o shit, like a rotten pussy.

-- Whore on 5/31/2013 4:41:34 AM

·         http://chooseyourstory.com/story/the-left~2dhanded-man

BOORRINGG 3/10

-- JJJ on 6/18/2005 9:33:01 PM

·         http://chooseyourstory.com/story/the-palio

THE WORST GAME EVER... IT PUT ME TO SLEEP IT WAS SOOOOOOOOOO BORINGG!

-- your mom on 5/24/2006 5:14:52 PM

TERRIBLE GAME!

-- b on 5/24/2006 5:13:33 PM

-----------------------

·         http://chooseyourstory.com/story/civil-war-jepordy

(coughing)

-- EricDrewCents on 5/27/2012 5:58:07 AM with a score of 12

·         http://chooseyourstory.com/story/career-story~3a-ivey-edition

(coughing)

-- EricDrewCents on 5/27/2012 6:00:57 AM with a score of 0

·         http://chooseyourstory.com/story/chuck-norris-quiz

(coughing)

-- EricDrewCents on 5/27/2012 6:30:28 AM with a score of 7

·         http://chooseyourstory.com/story/civil-war-jepordy

(coughing)

-- EricDrewCents on 5/27/2012 5:58:07 AM with a score of 12

·         http://chooseyourstory.com/story/revolutionary-war

(coughing)

-- EricDrewCents on 5/27/2012 5:49:07 AM

Please don't black comments out as it makes my job harder.

Decided not to delete one of james valkyrie's comments

Didn't delete stegy's comment

Not deleting my comment from way back when. Remember that according to the community, unsubstantiated criticism does not warrant deletion. If I could delete this, I would.

Not deleting either of The Palio's comments that you've put up.

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR HYPERLINKING

Comments from the School-Based section for deletion:

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/cyoa-final-history-project

i like how more people seem to be doing school projects through this website.

-- JamesValkyrie on 6/3/2013 3:22:20 PM

i like how more people seem to be doing school projects through this website.

-- JamesValkyrie on 6/3/2013 3:22:19 PM

(Delete one, perhaps? Two of the same thing again.)

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/fairview-highschool-game

m

-- supersyeed on 9/19/2012 11:18:45 PM with a score of 100

lalalala. . . . lalalala. . . .lalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalala. . .

-- poop on 1/16/2011 7:56:51 PM with a score of 100

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/fairview-highschool-game-2

0-0

-- 6 year old kid on 10/7/2010 8:30:36 PM

wow its soo crappy and stupid

-- ogga bogga on 2/22/2005 8:01:32 PM

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/finals-week~21

werwe

-- rztrz on 5/17/2013 6:40:03 AM with a score of 2

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/home-economics-quest

ermargherddddd, best thang 5everrrrrr xx kewlest storyline ever gawddddd EX OH EX OH LUVS

-- GER_PRETAY on 10/3/2012 11:15:04 PM

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/let's-be-evil

THERH SYNSRTY SERY WERY RTUMER&TYENMR%TU& %^ME*M TYUM I cant understand how stupid ud have 2 be 2 make this game!

-- JJJ on 9/7/2005 9:37:16 PM

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/mag-the-college-years,-freshman-year~2e

Stupid shit

-- Kenya on 6/22/2013 8:24:32 PM

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/mag-the-college-years,-sopohmore-year

C-R-A-P spells Crap.

-- EarthCollision on 3/1/2014 1:14:38 PM

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/make-the-right-choice

:-(

-- Wasteland on 6/28/2012 3:34:10 AM

.... ;<

-- EricDrewCents on 6/11/2012 6:33:22 AM

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/my-unusual-day

ugh

-- caroline on 4/23/2013 1:13:56 PM

???

-- RobustSporadic on 5/30/2012 10:41:21 PM

dudee. no offense, but thiz story sukkd. maybe u cud put more aktionnext timee

-- fezzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz on 3/3/2010 10:23:54 PM

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/school-and-cool

2022222222222222 (Continues off of the page)

-- justin on 8/16/2013 5:10:55 AM

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/skipping-school

%(

-- bossycarl on 4/24/2013 6:25:04 PM with a score of 6000

Hi

-- Quin on 3/11/2013 8:14:10 AM with a score of 6000

j

-- jarvan on 11/11/2011 4:57:26 PM with a score of 6000

popo

-- skullkid2802 on 9/2/2011 10:48:31 PM with a score of 7000

k

-- jay139 on 5/10/2011 7:09:06 PM with a score of 6000

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/surviving-school (Unless if this gets unpublished)

EYE LEIK DIS STORI

-- Jiggaboo on 1/26/2014 5:26:15 PM

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/the-day

nkj;eriph;tvlerbb

-- Devin YAAYYYY on 7/9/2012 5:08:17 PM

L?L!

-- realprety on 7/24/2008 5:15:11 PM

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/the-story-of-rebecca's-life

stupod

-- Elizabeth on 12/3/2011 9:35:49 PM

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/trapped-in-school-2~3a-master's-degree

1/8

-- ck23838 on 4/6/2013 7:52:12 AM

1/8

-- ck23838 on 4/6/2013 7:52:12 AM

(Two of the same thing.)

----------------

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/let's-be-evil

(coughing)

-- EricDrewCents on 5/27/2012 6:13:27 AM

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/skipping-school

(coughing)

-- EricDrewCents on 5/27/2012 6:17:32 AM with a score of 5000

--------

Storygame for unpublishing:

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/survivinghighschool

You choose your appearance/characteristics and then it just ends there. Unfinished, and I doubt that the author (“Apparently your jealous so bye”) is going to do anything more with it.

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/trip-in-time

Nothing happens. Max of 4 pages, with them either looping eternally or resulting in endgame.

Storygame for category change:

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/the-hairy-potter

From School-Based to… Fan Fiction, I guess.  Hardly has anything to do with school, it just mentions the words “school” and “class” here and there.

I only deleted one of J.V's posts. No need to write both in your message here, since only one should be deleted.

I did not delete Ogga Bogga's comment, because again, unsubstantiated negativity does not warrant deletion according to community standards which I do not agree with. Same with Kenya's comment.

Wanted to delete Fez's comment so badly but again, I don't think I can.

Agreed on the rest.

Dang it Rev, you're totally crampin' my style! XD (getting more points than me, grr)

Delete comments:

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/christmas~2e

 

I didn't see Adam's comment.

Agreed

Hah. XD Don't worry Tanstaafl, I don't think I've gotten more points than you yet. :'D

Storygame for unpublishing:

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/~2d~2d~2dlabyrinth-of-doom~2d~2d~2d

Many paths that have no further links. All you can do is guess and there is no satisfaction when you finally find the darn endgame link. Extremely frustrating and not fun whatsoever.

Comments from the Mystery/Puzzle section for deletion:

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/an-escape-from-the-top

i

-- mariohawk3 on 9/7/2011 4:09:45 PM with a score of 0

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/casemaster-~231

score

-- a on 10/6/2012 5:45:13 AM with a score of 100000

score

-- a on 10/6/2012 5:40:58 AM with a score of 50000

want to see my score

-- a on 10/6/2012 5:32:46 AM with a score of 51000

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/escape-the-room-2

it is the best but it shock me to!

(Large section of extra space here)

-- justin on 8/12/2013 4:05:46 AM with a score of 0

...

-- a on 4/4/2013 7:27:57 AM with a score of 0

-- on 10/1/2005 9:18:43 AM with a score of 0 (Nothing written in this one)

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/ghosthunting-in-the-little-theatre

-- on 5/31/2005 1:09:54 AM (Nothing written in this one either)

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/ghostly-mystery

poopoo

-- iuhfbfbbfchbedsh on 9/13/2013 9:21:15 PM

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/lost

easy!!!!!!!!!!111

-- JOSEPH on 1/3/2014 7:43:54 AM with a score of 0

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/nancy-drew,-i-hate-you

k.

-- Killer999 on 9/28/2011 9:49:13 AM

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/running

ssssssssccccccccaaaaaaaarrrrrrrryyyyyyyy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

-- justin on 8/12/2013 4:21:20 AM (Goes off the page slightly)

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/stranded

k.

-- Killer999 on 10/7/2011 10:39:38 AM with a score of 1

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/trapped~21~21~21

asome game it took me forever to beet! then again this was the first game i played here. 1000000000000000000000000000000000000000o(-o-)o

-- marioman on 7/16/2005 7:15:38 PM with a score of 0  (Far more zeroes than shown above)

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/you~21

ssssssssssssstttttttttttttttuuuuuuuuuuppppppppiiiiiiiiiiiiiidddddddd.

-- tigerxii on 10/11/2012 8:11:04 PM

That storygame does not warrant unpublishing

Joseph's comment unfortunately doesn't quite warrant deletion, I don't think. It's close.

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/survive-the-zombies

 

Hi Earth! So, the first and third comments aren't well written and don't contribute much, so I agree that they're bad comments, but they don't technically warrant deletion because they do comment on the storygame itself.

The second one is just flaming the author AND it has horrible punctuation, so I would normally delete it, but it's on an Endmaster storygame, which I specifically talk about in the opening post. Endmaster likes to be hated on. This comment is the right idea though, if you find others like it, on non-Endmaster (or madglee) storygames, I'll delete them.

 

Please link me to the storygame in the future.

Comments in the Horror section for deletion:

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/331-oakmount-drive

.

-- vandenbowzz on 5/22/2013 5:44:41 AM

Uhh...

-- jcam on 12/22/2011 3:58:54 PM

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/dead-man-walking-(zombie-survival)

ardfdg

-- hh on 8/11/2013 8:54:28 AM with a score of 35417

porn

-- porn on 4/9/2013 9:09:48 AM with a score of 1660

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/die-zombie~21-die~21

fuckk you bitch

-- this game is gay on 3/6/2013 11:27:36 PM with a score of 0

gghjhgfdsaegfrfefsg

-- rsddddd on 11/18/2012 8:51:43 AM with a score of 0

a

-- Craxerion on 11/2/2012 7:53:28 AM with a score of 0

Hello

-- Hunter on 3/17/2012 6:01:39 PM with a score of 0
7r5

-- muver on 1/7/2012 7:45:31 PM with a score of 0

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/die-zombie~21-die~21-pt-iii~3a-the-final-chapter

...,

-- ... on 11/18/2008 1:01:29 AM with a score of 744

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/escape-school

eat poop!!!!!!!!!!

-- Conner on 3/2/2013 3:47:06 PM

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/rise-of-the-damned

Fucking!

-- Unknown on 8/18/2012 1:17:13 AM

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/survive-the-apocalypse

?????

-- Killer999 on 9/20/2011 11:45:14 AM

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/the-ant-hill-kids

maaaahhh!!

-- meh on 10/27/2012 2:53:52 AM

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/the-midnight-monster-2

Smfth

-- Endrew on 2/22/2013 12:56:53 AM

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/the-poison-toilet

ummm....

-- lol on 7/7/2012 11:54:44 AM

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/zombie-crisis

Evets ot og

-- Loudleaf on 3/19/2014 5:42:26 AM

--------

Comments for featuring:

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/hallways

It's hard to write good horror because it has to actually unnerve the reader. In my case, at least, this story did not succeed. It's way, way too short to build up any suspense. Descriptions are limited to three sentences a page; I have no idea what anything looks like, so why should I fear it?

The player character also reacts very strangely. Ok, I just saw a mutilated torso hanging from the ceiling. It made me feel sick. It got one sentence of description. Then I move on by choosing a hallway, as if what should be a horrifying sight was as mundane as a painting on the wall. Do I whimper? Do I scream? Do I shake in terror? Nope! I just keep walking. One sentence that simply tells me "there's something gross over there" does not scare me. At all.

My advice: flesh this out. Make it significantly longer. Describe the house a little more on every page; eerie sounds like the whistling of the wind or the creaking of hinges and floorboards, unnerving smells like old rot and the coppery tang of blood, creepy sights like old, eyeless china dolls and ragged, mildewy curtains around cracked windows. When the monster comes into play, it should be the culmination of a slow buildup.

You also never explain why any of this is happening. Why am I in the house? Where did the monster come from? A good horror plot might not tell the reader everything, but it says "there's a story here. Something terrible happened." It makes the reader want to know. Overall, don't tell us "you ought to be scared." Instead, put in the work and scare us.

-- Sszinid on 1/2/2014 10:46:01 PM

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/pick~2da~2dpath-hospital-defense-zombie-survival

The deaths were very abrupt and immersion-breaking. Instead of actually being relatively upset about dying, it's more of an "oh. Well." reaction. Also, I wasn't too keen on the short descriptions of the other people around you, the locations, and the lack of information about the actual situation made it less entertaining than it could have been. You could have something good here if you work on it.

-- cyrodilicbrandy on 1/25/2014 4:41:55 PM

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/twilight-of-apocalypse~3a-pt-1

Its short (accepting its a part one still means its short/demo). Some interesting details but too many choices are simply 'do this or intant death' and the random insults for what are not always bad choices are annoying. Insults in a joking way for REALLY dumb choices are fine dependant on the game type but insulting smart choices simply because they didnt make the choice you wanted alienates readers very quickly.

-- FeanorOnForge on 4/15/2013 10:34:59 AM with a score of 0

That was strange. I just picked up a gun, but I didn't get to use it. Anyways, insulting the reader for making a wrong decision is never a good idea, unless the game is random and the insults are funny. Other than that, not an awful lot got done in the game. I know it's only part one but didn't really feel like anything happened except the player discovered that zombies exist.

-- Briar_Rose on 3/1/2013 6:23:14 PM with a score of 0

Alrighty. Well done for a first game, but it's a little hypocritical to tell people to be gentle with you because it's your first, and then call them stupid whenever they make a wrong choice. Especially considering the choice does not always directly correlate to what happens. Watch your grammar, it was better than most but the flow of your sentences doesn't feel quite right. You say beach like fifteen times in the first paragraph :P

It was decent and you obviously put some time into it, so that's a positive. Make sure you don't ever create links like: "Run around until her head explodes". What's the point in creating a choice like that? Finally, I suggest reading: Mommy Can I Go Out and Kill Tonight as well as Ground Zero, to see how it's done.

-- JJJ-thebanisher on 1/18/2009 6:05:31 PM with a score of 0

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/zombie-kill-squad

This wasn't a bad game but there was something holding it back and that was there was barely any details. You kept saying, "And we killed zombies" but you never described how. There was no description of the gunfire or the melee combat. It was just the bare bones of what needed to be said and that was it. It just went from point A to B and that was it. Also, I felt nothing for the characters because there was no development of them. Nobody talked so I knew nothing of their personalities, hopes, fears, dreams, etc. So when one of them died I didn't care.

There were some good parts though. For the most part you had good grammar and I liked that you recorded my kills.

4/8

-- JMgskills on 7/25/2013 1:32:36 PM with a score of 0

The truth: I did not get this game. For me, there have been way too many zombie games on this site, with them making up most of the Horror section. Only a few of these such games are actually written well.

So, that was it? No information was provided about this zombie outbreak other than that it was a zombie outbreak. Okay, so how was it started? What the heck is going on? What happens after this mission? The kills variable had, as far as I could tell, no effect on anything other than itself. This was also somewhat too easy, as I beat it on my first try.

On the good side, it employed good common sense, which is more than can be said for many of these zombie games. It isn't exactly going to be featured, although of course I would not take this off the site. I would very much like a sequel explaining this zombie outbreak. 5/8.

-- ck23838 on 7/20/2013 8:08:23 AM with a score of 0

Agreed on all points.

That is 106 points so far.

I think she may have beaten you Tan XD

Congrats Rev XD

(Ya think? I'm gonna power through as much comments as I can find tomorrow. Maybe. Grrrr)

I count 48 for you which is a very respectable second place.

 

Done!

Question. I've been looking over my points and notice I've been given 2 points for recommendation... But I don't remember recommending anything, so... What're the points for? 

Sometimes I give points if someone makes a recommendation based on a comment you left.

Okey dokey ^_^

This game should be unpublished-

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/the-barbarian

Agreed

Comments from the Sci-Fi Adventure section for deletion:

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/a~2em~2ei~2ee~2e-%281~2e1%29

coolio

-- dannyjohn1999 on 1/21/2013 2:52:41 PM with a score of 10 (Repeated comment)

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/alien-planet~3a-get-me-off-this-rock~21

hmmm.

-- hamburgerfish on 9/13/2006 5:46:45 PM

This is gay just like you, i maid eh funnay eh

-- Lamer on 6/23/2006 12:28:23 PM

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/all-because-of-a-breakfast-sandwich

Meh.

-- ... on 6/23/2013 9:14:20 PM

Ummm huh?

-- hugo23 on 4/7/2013 7:27:50 PM

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/an-escape-from-ruin

it was

-- alex on 8/22/2012 6:54:06 PM

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/back-to-the-pass~21

Easdy

-- EEWOWO on 3/10/2011 9:44:09 PM with a score of 2900

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/die-zombie~21-die~21-pt-ii

ysayugasdiugo

-- muver on 1/7/2012 8:06:14 PM with a score of 0

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/escape-from-britannia~3a-part-i

BANG

-- Nuclearwarfareaw10 on 12/15/2013 2:43:06 AM

meh

-- Exil on 7/16/2006 7:50:42 PM

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/extra-terrestrial

Meh!

-- Wilko19 on 5/20/2013 12:25:08 PM

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/hercules-(sci-fi-story)

I absolutely cannot stand YOU DIED LOL! endings

-- JamesValkyrie on 10/24/2013 7:39:48 PM (Repeat)

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/hive-mind

-

....

.-

-

.--

.-

...

-.

..

-.-.

.

-- Swiftstryker on 5/30/2012 8:32:45 PM

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/homo-perfectus

:)

-- Jon on 4/9/2011 10:43:45 PM with a score of 0

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/homo-perfectus-4

Oob

-- Steve on 11/2/2012 10:37:58 PM with a score of 2044

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/island-attack~3a-escape

Um.

-- NeverMind on 3/7/2012 5:14:25 PM with a score of 50

Stuuppppppppppiiiiiiiiiiiiddddddddddddddddd eeeeeeeeeeezzzzzrrrrrrraaaaaaaaaaaa

-- zoerosicki on 3/5/2012 10:12:05 PM with a score of 0

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/lachlan's-birthday~21

meh

-- kalun on 11/10/2012 12:10:29 PM with a score of 0

(coughing)

-- EricDrewCents on 5/27/2012 4:54:35 AM with a score of 0

WTF

-- zoerosicki on 5/14/2012 7:18:11 PM with a score of 0

,

-- wiiman24 on 7/1/2011 11:19:04 PM with a score of 0

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/light-space

I FUCKING HATE THIS I WOULD KNOW BECAUSE I AM COTTON PICKING NIGGER THAT IT I LOVE COTTON NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER FUCK SHIT HORNY ELEPHANT FUCK

-- NIGGER HEAD on 9/23/2013 10:27:17 PM with a score of 0

FUCKING GAY NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER

-- Malcom X on 9/23/2013 10:28:05 AM with a score of 0

gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay

-- dds on 5/1/2013 9:57:21 AM with a score of 023/2013 10:28:05 AM with a score of 0

mvfjvfvj c vk34vn4jb4uvminvi4mrci4g

-- kbbg jfn on 3/25/2013 2:06:06 AM with a score of 0

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/mechanised-assault-unit

k.

-- Killer999 on 10/13/2011 9:52:11 AM

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/paraplaniac

arrtolI liked it athug iwas ather linea nd sort.

-- troesnaja on 3/11/2012 12:41:02 PM with a score of 1

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/the-annihilation-(part-one)

Ffefeawfewwewrgrgrggttg 1/69

-- Nuclearwarfareaw10 on 7/25/2013 12:30:43 AM

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/the-robots-united-~3a-part-two

ok.

-- on 6/11/2006 9:15:21 PM with a score of 0

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/the-title-has-been-abducted-by-aliens

Jag vill bara runka balle, balle, balle, balle balle balle. Sug min kuk, annars blir jag sjuk, oh slicka mig mellan benen. Jag är bög, i en hög, knulla med hororo, ja det är skönt. Slicka en fitta, oh hej kom och titta, runka kuken gul och blå!

-- Tgetruegamer on 1/7/2013 12:47:55 PM

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/who-still-wants-to-be-a-supervillian~3f

gahhfdas

-- god on 11/4/2013 12:54:40 PM with a score of 28155

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/z-day

fuck this

-- you stink on 8/8/2012 2:15:33 AM

Comments for featuring:

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/escape-from-britannia~3a-part-i

I get frustrated when I have to make a choice without any prior information to back it up. A point of referance is needed when making choices. aka whats at stake?,what happens if I pick that over this, or vice versa? what are the possable reprocusssions of my choice?

-- alienalpha on 8/25/2012 8:34:36 AM

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/eyes-of-an-angle

This game had a really nice plot and cool drawings.

Unfortunately, those were pretty much its only appealing features.

I would suggest that the author run this whole game through some sort of spellchecker, because literally every page is riddled with misspellings and grammatical errors. (e.g. I think it's "Eyes of an Angel", not "Angle". lol.)

Secondly, several of the pages are dead ends, so this story has not been completed yet.

In addition, there are a few points at which there is no choice of what to do. This means that there are several links but they all lead to the same page. What is the point of that?

Sorry, but this game isn't really worth playing unless you are willing to sift through incomprehensible pages of text, or if you just want the free point.

-- vladimir262 on 6/21/2013 11:35:28 AM with a score of 500

It's obvious there was time put into creating this, but the spelling is terrible. I think I would like these stories more if they were better-written.

-- Sethaniel on 10/29/2006 8:27:33 PM with a score of 0

This is one of the many stories on the site where there is some basic creativity, but the author is either unwilling, or unable to correct basic spelling and grammar. The pictures are obviously from MS Paint, but took time to create, so I'll add 1 to my rating. Just spellcheck and edit this. There is absolutely no excuse to have such hackneyed writing.

-- madglee on 9/3/2006 11:45:42 PM with a score of 500

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/hercules-(sci-fi-story)

Wait,

I land on a planet on a mission to discover life right? I end up finding signs of life and suddenly arm myself, then i find this village inhabited by dog-like lifeforms and i decide to kill off a grown one and take a "puppy" back to my ship for study?

This expedition seemed very badly planned and from what i could tell the scientist you were acting as did not have the right additude for a mission like this. There was also not enough information to decide on the choices and the random deaths did not improve the story.

-- Fireplay on 11/28/2012 10:55:17 PM

Well, the writing wasn't bad, but those scientists are jerks! Just go to some poor aliens planet, shoot the aliens and kidnap their children for scientific experiments. That's just mean. Also, why was the guy in hyper-sleep?

-- Briar_Rose on 11/28/2012 6:23:30 AM

Okay... let's start with the bad. The walls of text make reading pretty iritating, even if the game itself is very short one. With one and only path to succes.

There is not enough information to go on. Who I'm? Why I'm here? How the scouts who checked this planet didn't see something so obvious like the statue and village? How the sci-fi scientist team walks into area without oxygen and just drops dead? Why in the hell first reaction of a scientist (sic!) on a planet seeing footprints is 'pull out a rifle'. And from where he pulls it?

You also write in a very confusing way. I have no idea which way leads to succes and which one to random death. So yeah.

The whole idea of the 'scientists on the alien planet' could be done better than that.

-- maheusz on 11/28/2012 1:47:00 AM

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/if-you-alone

This...uh...needs a little (a lot) of work. It's not a terrible idea, but...well, it looks like you put almost no effort into it. Use details. Think of a few basic questions and center the story around them. Answering these questions will make it to where you a) add in more detail, and b) increase the depth somewhat. Hope that this helps =D.

-- Rin_of_Water on 5/29/2013 5:31:09 PM

Gave you the lowest score so no-one will ever read this and experience the crappiest game on this site. You put no effort in and half the 50 words are misspelled.

-- alienalpha on 5/5/2013 5:28:35 PM

.... When writing their first storygame, people should not try as little as possible. This game was simply, and purely garbage.

I would critique the story, but there was no story. It was a half-assed attempt at nothing, and you succeed in wasting the reader's time.

-- Aman on 5/5/2013 4:47:10 PM

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/island-attack~3a-escape

You definitely put in more effort here than in the first one, and you seem to have improved quite a bit. There's definitely more room for growth, however. Perhaps work on your writing a bit more, and really crack down on those plot holes...

One particular suggestion would be to shorten or just outright remove that first paragraph where you break the fourth wall. That kind of information belongs in the adventure description, not in the adventure itself.

-- Doodled on 3/10/2012 9:21:53 PM with a score of 100

Better than your other game. A little more detail would have been nice but you had a plot this time, which is good. I like the action scenes and I think this game was longer than you're other one, which again is a good thing to see. Some of the problems I had with the game was that there were no pictures for the items. That would have been a nice detail to put in.

I'm going to give you the same rating for your last game but I can see improvement. Keep trying.

5/8

-- JMgskills on 3/3/2012 3:47:05 PM with a score of 0

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/island-attack~3a-raid

Kudos for working with variables and publishing a story within your first three days as a member. You seem to understand the basics of what makes a storygame good, which does show. However, the "You Died" pages appear without any explanation of why. This seems to be a result of inexperience with the system. If you revise and proofread your future stories, as well as fiddle a bit more with the system, your story-games might turn out to be pretty good! For now, however, it is only mildly enjoyable, and could use serious work.

-- Doodled on 2/23/2012 8:37:47 PM with a score of 0

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/manske's-island

This is a good idea, but it is very confusing. Why am I a soldier? What sort of universe did I just travel into? You need to create a backstory. I understand if you want to surprise me with the facts, so in that case tell me what happens at the end of the story.

-- vladimir262 on 4/1/2013 6:31:45 PM

I liked the game, but sucks that you have to die. Wouldn't mind if there were some deaths that seemed better than others, but all the deaths seemed pretty much the same.

-- Briar_Rose on 12/1/2012 5:04:42 PM

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/multi-player-action

:: sigh:: I was actually enjoying myself in this one D: it had the feel of online multiplayer game. That was fun, even though you were link guessing. I wanted to try to kill everyone, then you pull an anti-ending. your ending was basically 'HAHA YOU SUCK' It felt very childish and not at all appropriate for what we had been playing. Fix the links, and don't cop out on the ending next time. 2/8

-- ChaiHai on 8/27/2012 5:00:14 AM with a score of 150

An interesting concept, but it was fairly obvious, incredibly linear, and only 2 weapons, and only one chance to use it. Also, the members in this game have left years ago, and you could have made this game so people could actually play a UT2004 style game. Also, the map is fixed, You get no warning of enemy weapons (random choices) no indication of what you're enemies are doing, AND you can only shoot back ONCE. This just sucked...

-- Rommel on 6/16/2007 2:21:55 AM with a score of 150

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/revolt

Well, it seems like some effort has been put into the game, but a lot can be done to improve the quality of the game.

First, have more backstory. Be more in-depth with your story, explaining fully why the player is in the current situation with a backstory.

Second, make your story less linear with more branching, as that would allow players to immerse themselves in a story. What's the point of a CYOA if you can't choose an option that you really want?

Third, don't have deaths that are too sudden, like a one liner, e,g. A rock falls on you, you die. GAME OVER.

-- Xt1000305 on 3/28/2013 11:55:43 AM

It's not a bad start, but it could use some improvement. You're story is way too linear, with actually only one set of choices you choose if you don't want to die. You could also try to write some more on your pages, one paragraph of text per page doesn't necessarily make a story bad, if it's a well written story with a good plot, etc. But to be honest, your story isn't. Like I said before, not a bad story, but could use improvement.

-- Romulus on 3/10/2013 8:09:43 PM

Here it goes. I'd suggest, if you want to do a 'sequel' that you actuality start from the beginning, like this one, and fully expand it. Get someone to proof read out the spelling and punctuation errors. There's a good basis for a story here if you clean it up some. Also, I found the investigation of the room needed work. Saying almost everything was of no interest got on my nerves.

-- Mynoris on 3/7/2013 12:27:17 PM

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/robot-fight

Not all that great. Pictures were average, since all it showed was the foe, while a good set of pictures would show your characters actions as well. Capital "I" should be used, and I would suggest that you dont have the title be "A New Link"

-- Aman on 1/14/2013 3:28:16 PM

Decent pics... but that was the only decent part of the story. There were several just flat-out mistakes and a few things that you could simply write better. Spoiler, the first choice will lead to victory every time!

-- ThisisBo on 7/13/2011 7:53:59 AM

The pictures are kind of cool. Everything is runon sentences. You need to go back and put punctuation in the appropriate places. Decent effort.

-- madglee on 8/3/2006 10:29:01 PM

Oh my unholy ****

Longest one yet, I believe.

Never knew TSPaul got those kind of comments.

Aww, Endmaster is jealous.

I left DannyJohn's comment.

I have no idea why you recommended JamesValkyrie's comment though, definitely not deleting that.

Wow, can't believe I've never seen the nigger comments, Jesus that was ridiculous. Great find.

Left the 'ok' comment.

Left the comment written in icelandic of whatever.

I don't think Sethaniel's comment quite meets featuring standards on Eyes of an Angle (sic)

I don't think Briar Rose's comments in Hercules or Manske's Island met minimum featuring standards.

Decided to unpublish If You Alone so I gave you a point for that instead.

Didn't think JMGSkills in Island Raid wrote well enough in his comment, for featuring.

I didn't think either comment on Multi Player Action was featureworthy.

I didn't think Romulus' comment was featureworthy in Revolt

I didn't think any comments in Robot Fight were feature worthy.

Thanks for recommending comments for featuring but I think you should raise your standards.

She recommended it because they it was a double comment, I believe. (JamesValkyrie)

^Yep.

Also, are you talking about the comment by Tgetruegamer? Icelandic comment? I put it up there because I found out what the translation meant... >_>

And alright, I'll attempt at raising my standards for them then. 

*searches it up on google translate

...

Oh my :-/

Oh! Here's two more points.

Comments in the Fantasy Adventure section for deletion:

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/bloodlines

Gay, MADE A STORY ON ME

-- Drake on 5/17/2013 9:14:42 AM with a score of 0 (Repeat)

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/chess-master-stan~21

not that great.Mine is better

-- ESRTIOKNE on 2/28/2003 4:10:39 PM with a score of 0 (I don’t see anything useful with this comment.)

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/conquest~3a-chapter-i

*****

-- RobustSporadic on 6/2/2012 12:19:13 AM

SUCKS TESTIES

-- Bob Donavam on 4/15/2012 9:01:46 PM

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/horus

What did you mean by "Oh, well then there you go, primates!"

(1 #45 70 d0 7#15 83(4u53 1 (4l/l'7 PM w#3l/l 1'm l/l07 l0993d 0l/l)

-- primates on 10/21/2006 10:23:18 PM

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/inferno-quest-series~3a-~231the-burning-adventure

sn

-- srt on 2/2 bl

-- billy on 2/27/2003 1:15:40 PM with a score of 0

7/2003 1:19:24 PM with a score of 0

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/magus~3a-betrayal

:)

-- PPIME on 5/31/2012 9:25:22 PM

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/mattias-the-one-knight

:D

-- Theotian on 4/9/2013 1:02:19 PM with a score of 8990

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/medieval-adventure

craaaaappppppppp

-- riley on 7/7/2010 10:41:20 PM with a score of 3600

hi...

-- 12345678987654321 on 10/5/2005 8:22:10 AM with a score of 3700

to sensible, include some cheese or something that has nothing to do with the storyline... (potato) and a dollar 50! good otherwise... 87.961 windows!!! why do you always leave bad comments to people? 1111111111111111112223456666666666666677777777778900000000000 grapefruits!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11

-- 1234567654321 on 12/20/2004 7:19:26 PM with a score of 4900 (Honestly not sure what’s going on here..)

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/overthrown-2~3a-a-world-without-a-king

vg

-- shaq on 4/22/2011 4:10:25 PM

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/psychedelic-

k

-- Killer999 on 10/7/2011 1:02:34 PM

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/rise-of-vollund

Ur stuff is poop

-- Kendall on 12/24/2012 10:49:36 PM

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/runaway

.

-- ck23838 on 4/6/2013 8:14:30 AM with a score of 110

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/the-apprentice-king

mEHHHH

-- Nuclearwarfareaw10 on 12/9/2013 11:46:13 PM

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/the-court

SORRY you say you're not happy with it well i simply must disagree, this piece was a great read and i was disappointed when it ended. id highly recommend you to continue this as you are wrong!! its good believe me. please continue.

-- dannyjohn1999 on 1/29/2013 12:30:49 PM (Repeat)

This is actually pretty amazing... its got the potential to be up there with endmasters eternal. Finish it! Seriously, you can't leave it half done, you'll have me baying for blood, just like George r r Martin has with his game of thrones series. Iv already thought up a million endings, and to be honest, what you have so far could be barely a scratch on the surface. If you ever get writers block, feel free to mail me and I would be more than willing to lend a hand.

-- Zane on 9/7/2012 7:40:54 PM (Repeat)

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/the-gauntlet

p

-- shaq on 4/24/2011 10:58:11 AM

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/the-tower

-- Tangecide on 8/30/2013 11:18:21 AM with a score of 107795 (Nothing written)

Comments for featuring:

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/medieval-adventure

Uhh... It's really, really weird. I mean I don't think there was a page on the whole game that had more than a line of writing on it, but for some reason I still found it kind of fun.

-- Briar_Rose on 11/29/2012 1:58:59 PM with a score of 4050

Short and little detail. Feels more like a testing story than a finished one, some more details and a few more choices and this would be greatly improved.

-- Alkador on 11/24/2009 5:08:27 AM with a score of 1189

I liked the idea of the game, but the pages could have been a bit more verbose. There's nothing on each page but one line and then the choices you can make.

-- GMDaniel on 8/23/2006 1:31:05 AM with a score of 2250

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/the-bloods~3a-chapter-1

Pretty interesting story you've got going on here, and several of your scenes are doing pretty well. However, I would advise that you have to be a bit careful when doing Chaptered storygames, since there might be multiple outcomes on your future installments. If that is the case, pay heed to what you write; a story can branch out a lot of ways after this.

If that's too much trouble to deal with, you can make one large story instead, so you can keep track of how differently the player can digress from the other paths.

Good job. I want to see more of this.

-- Swiftstryker on 12/12/2013 9:02:53 AM

Good Job! For a First, Anyways.

I liked the idea, and where it was going. Sadly, I noticed a few things:

You seemed to switch around past and present-tense a couple times. And even when you were in the past tense mode (which is where I assume you intended to be), it felt awkward and out of place for a story. This is just a thought, but consider sticking the whole thing in present tense. Try it out. You may like it better.

The story revolves around colored blood, which seems to power you up somehow. While the idea itself was great and new, it wasn't executed all that great. Part of it was that the story just wasn't long enough, and it didn't let us do anything or try our own powers. I'd recommend stretching the story, and maybe even letting the player decide their lineage (but that can be another game :)).

Finally, there were only two options, and even then, they sent you to the same place eventually.

Other than these minor(ish) things, the story was simple with a smart idea, and I hope you make it longer or make a new one. Good job for a first!

4/8.

-- awesomeness1242 on 12/7/2013 9:19:03 PM

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/the-court

An extremely engaging story, alive with wonderful detail, interesting characters, and foreboding atmosphere. It feels like a mix of Changeling and Twilight Zone with a childish and petty god (or is it Azathoth even?) in need of a sound walloping. The only real drawback in it all of course, is that it is unfinished. Completed, I would likely rate it among the highest and best of the entire site.

-- BerkaZerka on 9/6/2012 9:31:26 AM

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/the-vampire-hunter

Freaking hilarious. I am in love with this story, I seriously laughed until I cried. My favorite ending is the "Oh, I'm something MUCH worse" one. Brilliant twist. Most of them that don't end in the death of the reader's character are good twists, and even the "magic dust" was a good surprise.

This may have been short and a story without a whole lot of detail, but you managed to make it SO entertaining with so few words. I didn't have to wade through a novel's worth of sentences to get a lot of enjoyment out of it, and I think that's a rare trick to pull off. Bravo. I'm gonna go check out your other stuff, if they're half as good? I'll love them, too.

-- Kiel_Farren on 9/8/2012 1:43:01 PM

Left the ESRT comment.

I didn't feel that Briar_Rose's or Alkador's comment were worthy of featuring. Being right and giving constructive criticism isn't enough to warrant a comment featuring. The comment has to be well written and insightful. Looks like I accidentally deleted GMDaniel's comment :(

I didn't think Swiftstryker's comment was worth featuring.

 

Delete coments:

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/warrior-cats-adventure

 

I left Dog9's comment in the poem

I only deleted one of Rae38's comments because I didn't think it broke any rules

Wow CovElite haha

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/obamacare

I would nominate this storygame for unpublishing (You can see my comment on it for why I think it should be deleted, it's right at the top), and if not, then I would suggest that the "Humor" tag be removed (it wasn't humorous in the least, unless you count inept political commentary to be humorous).

I mean, it's hardly a storygame at all, it's just three pages of choices either way, and there is no story to speak of.

I decided not to unpublish it but I removed two tags.

Drak's comment should be featured. Haha

Agreed.

Delete Comments:

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/deven711%27s-baseball-quiz~21

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/dave~3a-big-dickin%27it-adventure~21

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/escape-from-the-wild-tobe~21-part-1

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/test-your-knowledge~3a-the-fellowship-of-the-ring

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/test-your-knowledge~3a-the-hobbit

Feature comment:

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/baking-a-cake

 

You know, I should just start looking at the games that Killer has rated and then get all his comments, haha. (All of them seem to be deletion-worthy, this is the 8th or 9th time i've seen his name, I think).

I actually berated him for that in like 2011 or 2012 or something. He got better, if I recall correctly.

Only one of Killer's comments on baseball quiz should be deleted. One word comments are apparently okay. I accidentally deleted the 2nd though :(

No idea why Julio's comment should be deleted?

(Note when I write 'double post' it just means one of them should be deleted)

Should've probably known that 'Muy bien' meant 'very good'-or something along those lines. Nevermind haha.

Just post one and put double post next to it. Put 2 if there's 3.

Ah alright, thanks 3J.

No worries. It's easy to remember if you just keep in mind that every comment you post is up for deletion. If it shouldn't be deleted then don't post it.

Delete comments:

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/change-the-1986-boston-red-sox-game~21

Choose your Life

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/timescape~21

-- =) on 3/30/2013 2:15:58 AM with a score of 0

Agreed

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/zombies-are-racist

Despite how hilarious this game is, I think it should be unpublished until the author finishes it as it is obviously incomplete, loops over itself and has many dead ends.

In addition, it should have the "Humor" and "Parody" tags added (I can't think of it as an actual, serious game, haha).

Oh, and I guess there's some offensive language, but I don't particularly care about that, you could look over that as you would however.

There is no parody tag. I'm not sure if it should be unpublished to be honest... I did at the humor tag. Should it go to Fan Fiction? This game is confusing me.

I was referring to it being a parody of the zombie genre, rather than a parody of a particular show or movie.

It's hilarious, haha, the guy who wrote it just got the typical, overworked zombie story (you wake up, zombie stuff happens, survivor/military camp) and put a little humoristic spin on it (that or he's incredibly incompetent, either way, I found it to be humorous).

It should probably stay in horror, as it IS a zombie story, after all.

You don't think Jerome Biggums is Tyrone Biggums?

Just looked up the name, didn't get the reference (never saw the show)

Maybe? I'm not familiar enough to make any connections between the show and the game, that would have to be up to someone who's actually watched and played both.

Anyone else want to chime in?

While I think the character is probably based off of him, the focus of the story is zombies, so I don't think it'd fall under fan fiction.

Think it should stay published?

I think it's amusing enough to stay, though it is terribly odd :P

I'd like to recommend a few comments for deletion.

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/randomly-walk-ii,-the-epic-sequel~2e

 

Agreed on all points :)

Hi there.

That is really childish. It's unfortunate that my earlier years are so well documented, I really wish they weren't.

That being said, I'm wondering what your agenda is. If you're trying to embarrass me, then congratulations. I apologize for my 15-16 year-old self. That being said, I stand by what I said. Fuck anyone who tries to censor the internet.

Why did you post that in this thread?

For one thing, that post does not warrant deletion. It doesn't break any site rules. I'm not flaming a user and I'm not spamming. If childishness were an offense punishable by deletion, this site would look very different.

Secondly, this thread is not for the deletion of forum posts, let alone ones that are five years old. I can't help but feel a little insulted by the fact that you'd intentionally drudge something like that up for no apparent reason. What point are you trying to make?

3J

Dear 3J

Sorry I had no idea that that post was so old I didn't check and sorry I'm sorry for embarrassing you as I've only been here for a month or two so I haven't really crasped the rules and I'd no idea it would hurt you or anyone else also I'm autistic so I don't actual get how other people feelings so I'm dreadfully sorry if I knew this would happen I wouldn't of posted it in the first place.

Sincerely Jibble

No worries, Jibble. Thanks for the apology. Read the opening post before you reply to a structured thread, and you'll be fine.

And let me reiterate, if you find a comment on a storygame from me from that long ago that is really horrible, do post it here as I'd like to delete it.

Well I dug through all my comments before anyone else gets the idea to make a less than stellar suggestion on featuring one of them and here's what I found that might be worthy enough to possibly be featured.

Mainly limited it to just stories that didn't already have 3 featured comments and were featured or previously featured.

Geek (Has 2 featured)

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/geek

A very dark, macabre world, but interesting. I liked having to 'discover' more about the factions as I played. The relatively short length of a single playthrough also made it helpful for me, since the tone would have been too much for a longer sitting.
-- biscuit on 4/13/2013 3:03:54 AM

Tales From the Basement (Has 2 featured)

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/tales-from-the-basement

Tales From the Basement was a very entertaining story to read. I especially liked how there's 3 unique characters to choose from, all with their own personal quests to leave the basement. The strongest character of the 3 was the girl's story; after all, her wacky family really made the storygame quite the page turner. The EBay dweller was the weakest, especially because there wasn't much to read about. The Anime dweller was an interesting story, but not as good as Suzy's. Overall a very unique style of writing. Definitely worth the read!
-- AppDude27 on 4/1/2014 11:46:52 PM

Alpha Wolf (Has 1 featured)

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/alpha-wolf

The memories addition added a lot. It felt like a story with different scenarios more than a game, but there's nothing wrong with that, and for its purposes, it worked out well. The game seems like a bit of a tease, learning about all these monsters, but not really getting involved in the world. (At least the playthrough that I experienced) Thanks for putting so much thought into this game's characters.
-- Melike on 4/4/2008 12:50:48 AM

A truly enjoyable experience. While I was sad to be a past-my-prime wolf, I really felt the enjoyment of getting back into the fight with my character. Although I must say you tend to make me be a man so often I think I'm growing an extra body part.
-- Skysworne on 7/28/2013 1:15:36 AM

Paradise Violated (0 Featured)

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/paradise-violated

A very well written story if I do say so myself. A good premise, likeable characters, and enough twist and turns that kept me playing until I found just about every possible ending (I think) Having found what I think is the "ultimate" ending, an all around good story.
-- H-A-V-O-K on 8/12/2010 3:37:35 PM

Took me about seven tries to get some of the 'epic' endings, the whole story being one big rollercoaster of an adventure, love it, really do. For anyone who's gonna try this or already has, don't be discouraged by quick deaths, keep on going and you'll get some memorable moments =D
-- Alkador on 11/19/2009 2:14:01 PM

the ways to die were absolutely hilarious. i like how even a wrong choice atleast branches out into some semblance of a story, not just forcing something to align back to the original one. a bit short though. probably could have made a series of this if the characters were better portrayed.
-- ultragunner on 3/12/2013 3:34:40 AM

Repression (0 featured) (Never a featured story, but this was a pretty detailed comment)

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/repression

This is definitely your most underrated game (even though it has a pretty good rating.) Frankly, I think it kicks ass. The fact that it's "less verbose" than most of your stories is not a liability. Rather, it gives the reader the opportunity to think whilst enjoying the story, rather than distracting the reader with a multitude of events and details. It invites one to look closely at the protagonist, who he is, and where he comes from, (since there's not so much else to it) and ultimately, to appreciate how his story may relate to oneself and to other human beings in general. This makes it really fucking scary.
-- Loon on 6/30/2012 1:34:41 AM


Oh and if you're feeling whimsical, here's 3 to feature for Love SICK

WTF I'm a Mormon retard. Usualy I like your stories but this one is all crazy and screwed up. I'm a little worried about your mental health...
-- Notorious streaker on 9/27/2010 11:33:37 PM

You know, it wasn't really necessary to say "I'm a Mormon retard." The retard part was obvious when you said you were a Mormon. Lol.
-- EndMaster on 9/28/2010 11:15:30 AM

LOL @ Endmaster's most recent comment hahahahhahahahahahahahhahahahahhaha
-- JJJ-thebanisher on 9/29/2010 7:03:16 PM

I didn't think H-A-V-O-K's comment was worthy of featuring because it was kind of awkward to read.

I didn't think ultragunner's comment was worthy of featuring because he doesn't know about the secret of capital letters.

I think that my comment on Repression is one of the best examples of irony that I've found looking at comments so far haha. Damn, you really could have made fun of me for that one.

I so badly want to feature those comments on Love SICK, what does the community think? I'm a little worried that I'll encourage people to intentionally post comments like that one.

Nah, if you think it will cause problems then err on the side of caution. It was more for amusement anyway than a serious suggestion.

Leaning that way as well, but that is probably my favorite exchange.

How did Mommy get 4 featured comments?

I'm not sure. I'm assuming another admin accidentally featured a 4th without realizing that 3 are already featured. I unfeatured Havacoman's.

Comments from the Modern Adventure section for deletion:

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/a-day-in-hell

now i get it it do not sock now i thiks it good not

-- redeye on 12/2/2005 4:54:55 PM with a score of 0

it sock it bad

-- redeye on 12/2/2005 4:53:52 PM with a score of 0

I THOUGHT IT WAS F***ING FUNNIG WHEN I HAD TO KILL HER

-- JaY BiRd on 9/16/2005 9:48:00 AM with a score of 0

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/a-day-in-the-life-of-a-cat

........

-- strawhat on 7/15/2013 6:42:36 AM

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/a-day-in-your-room

SUCKED

-- LLL on 10/6/2012 8:25:05 PM

:-(

-- Wasteland on 6/30/2012 6:52:04 AM

meh

-- trolol on 2/25/2012 11:41:57 PM

A

-- A on 5/12/2011 8:12:34 PM

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/answer-the-call

???

-- kabirtomer on 5/25/2012 1:02:29 AM with a score of 236

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/armed-forces-quest~3a-terrorist-attack~21

Meh

-- Negative on 7/21/2013 3:21:18 AM with a score of 200

BORIMG!Zk nbfjxdk

-- mreveryday1 on 6/29/2013 9:13:06 PM with a score of 0

meh...

-- Nigga Nigga on 4/5/2013 4:55:58 PM with a score of 100

stuuuuuuuuppppppppppppppiiiiiiiiiiiiiiddddddddd!

-- tigerxii on 10/4/2012 8:13:39 PM with a score of 0

boo hoo this sucks shit

-- haledakota on 5/19/2012 11:29:37 PM with a score of 200

suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuucks

-- bob on 6/24/2011 10:14:59 AM with a score of 100

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/astronaut~3a-chapter-1

Meh

-- betaband on 10/14/2012 5:37:50 PM

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/blackbirds

Done.

-- Negative on 1/20/2014 4:12:57 AM with a score of 0

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/bob's-psych-ward

gj

-- Holy_Sword on 12/5/2013 7:36:08 PM with a score of 0

(coughing)

-- EricDrewCents on 5/27/2012 5:20:42 AM with a score of 0

Ewww.....

-- Horrible on 1/20/2012 2:08:16 AM with a score of 0

meh

-- chris_zelda on 2/14/2007 3:27:19 AM with a score of 0

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/cancel-the-kirby-cartoon~21

............

-- Killer999 on 9/20/2011 11:40:01 AM

-- Lord Lonic on 6/10/2005 7:31:31 PM (Nothing written)

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/choose-your-own-birthday-adventure

wtffff *3

-- enic on 3/25/2013 6:08:19 AM

wtf

-- enic on 3/25/2013 5:58:36 AM

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/choose-your-own-misadventure

huh?

-- betaband on 4/11/2012 7:12:00 PM

NO

-- YOLO on 3/15/2012 2:46:58 AM

huh?

-- primates on 10/10/2006 8:39:43 PM

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/cougar-crossing~3a-imminent-threat

*pukes*

-- Tgetruegamer on 1/2/2013 6:15:45 PM

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/cysid-wars

(coughing)

-- EricDrewCents on 5/27/2012 6:33:37 AM with a score of 2

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/destroy-cartoon-network~21-

SUCKED

-- Matt on 2/1/2013 3:49:12 PM

(coughing)

-- EricDrewCents on 5/27/2012 5:00:03 AM

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/ducky-park

Uhhh...

-- jack10345 on 8/24/2013 10:20:34 PM

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/everlasting-darkness

WTF?????

-- DarthNelly on 4/25/2013 1:38:32 PM

Uhm...

-- jcam on 3/30/2012 5:00:40 PM

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/homeropolis~3a-part-i,-the-beginning

??????

-- Killer999 on 9/22/2011 9:48:44 AM

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/jack-at-the-tracks

(coughing)

-- EricDrewCents on 5/27/2012 5:26:48 AM with a score of 0

k.

-- Killer999 on 9/21/2011 9:18:32 AM with a score of 0

OH ga bia.

-- hh on 6/18/2004 9:23:40 PM with a score of 0

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/jump-for-joy

....

-- EricDrewCents on 6/13/2012 6:09:01 AM with a score of 0

Um......WHAT THE **** WAS THAT CROSSOVER CRAP???!!!!!

-- Deven711 on 5/10/2004 5:15:36 PM with a score of 0

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/law-and-disorder

EPIC FAIL

-- ShriekingTiger44 on 2/8/2014 3:29:35 PM

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/mall-trip-adventure

Loser get a life

-- Bleh on 10/14/2013 9:45:34 PM

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/nations-rise

?

-- JamesValkyrie on 10/24/2013 7:34:02 PM with a score of 2810

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/nutters

......

-- EricDrewCents on 5/30/2012 6:00:18 AM

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/prisoners-of-pain

Meh

-- Djn on 10/29/2013 3:40:03 PM

k.

-- Killer999 on 10/7/2011 9:21:13 AM

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/pushing-a-desert-army

...

-- epiclab on 5/16/2013 10:53:49 PM

......

-- Killer999 on 10/4/2011 9:38:45 AM

gay

-- da Ravemaster on 11/20/2005 8:17:50 PM

-- JJJ on 9/16/2005 8:56:47 PM (Nothing written)

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/pushing-a-desert-army~3a-the-castle

ugggggggggggggggh

-- ? on 8/17/2012 7:12:09 PM

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/reckless-young-man

...

-- alex2208 on 6/18/2012 11:51:13 PM with a score of 0

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/red-cream-soda

What the fuck? I can perform worse when I'm drunk. Fucking drunk, you hear that? When I've shot 75 cl of fucking Vodka, wtf. I've read some worthless shit, but this beats it all, hands fucking down. I don't stand alone when saying this, but we never wanna see you again on this sight. It's people like who you give little teen girls bullemiah, you are such a horrible writer, I'd advice you to not even write your own get well card. Seriously my dead fucking grandma who never learned to write could do fucking better than you, this made me disgusted. It's a shame I can't rate it -666 because this is soooo freakin fuckin terrible. Da fuck, get out of this fucking websight, commit suicide, if ya did I'd throw a fucking party. This was just extremely fucking horrible, euwwwww!

-- Motherfucker on 5/31/2013 5:36:52 AM (I didn’t enjoy this story game either, but…)

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/revenge-for-honor

It was alright... there were some parts that didn't make a lot of sense to me, such as: why would you tell the doctor your name? And why does your pain subside a mere hour after getting shot and receiving surgery without anaesthesia?

-- EarthCollision on 3/19/2014 1:58:40 PM (Plagiarized Loon’s comment, word for word. -_-)

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/september-the-14th-part-i

meh

-- ThisisBo on 6/14/2011 4:06:15 PM

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/september-the-14th~3a-the-final-chapter

-- wiiman24 on 7/5/2011 6:05:32 PM (Nothing written)

xff

-- wiiman24 on 7/2/2011 5:10:14 PM

poop r me chosse

-- wiiman24 on 7/1/2011 10:21:23 PM

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/spoonboy-must-die~21

It,s cool!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

-- Jeremiah on 11/27/2005 2:27:12 PM

-- JJJ on 9/19/2005 11:58:22 PM (Nothing written)

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/the-bus-of-doom

!!!!!!!!!!

-- Wasteland on 6/21/2012 1:59:30 PM

(coughing)

-- EricDrewCents on 5/27/2012 5:13:16 AM

Retarted

-- addi on 3/3/2012 7:55:31 PM

..........

-- Killer999 on 9/26/2011 12:52:57 PM

lmao

-- Secretstarz7 on 6/30/2011 12:19:01 PM

: ]

-- th*mage*of*kings on 8/28/2007 5:06:33 PM

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/the-coast-or-the-chase

um...

-- betaband on 3/10/2012 5:21:40 PM with a score of 0

a

-- a on 5/19/2011 4:32:34 PM with a score of 0

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/the-college-experience

What the fuck is this shit?

-- ArrowzworraTwo on 12/8/2013 8:00:15 PM with a score of 0

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/the-darkness

Well

-- EricDrewCents on 5/11/2012 7:53:39 AM with a score of 0

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/the-family~3a-a-gangster's-legacy

k

-- betaband on 3/1/2012 10:11:49 PM

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/the-mall

wtyf?

-- Marmotlord on 6/11/2012 7:44:20 AM

THIS GAME IS WORSE THE N BUBBAS SOUP

-- YO MAMA MAN on 6/10/2005 9:10:29 PM

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/the-rabbi-duff-chronicles~3a-shadow-of-the-rabbi

meh

-- ThisisBo on 6/19/2011 12:02:46 AM

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/the-robot

... err...

-- ... on 6/29/2013 7:51:06 PM with a score of 0

....

-- EricDrewCents on 6/13/2012 6:01:08 AM with a score of 0

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/the-sniper

-- i know where u live!!!! on 12/23/2004 8:21:28 AM (Nothing written)

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/the-weird-day

WTF.

-- quadcam on 4/13/2007 3:09:39 AM

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/the-zombies

Dauq!

-- RobustSporadic on 6/16/2012 5:33:15 AM

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/to-rant-or-not-to-rant

(coughing)

-- EricDrewCents on 5/27/2012 5:04:23 AM

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/vengeance

LAME THE FUCKER WHO MADE THIS SHOULD DROP DEAD!

-- lolzers on 6/3/2012 5:56:55 PM with a score of 215

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/wednesday

?????

-- squatter on 8/10/2013 2:37:04 AM

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/welcome-to-pablo's~21

MEH

-- YOUR MOM on 6/21/2012 12:10:51 PM

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/westlake-cop

(coughing)

-- EricDrewCents on 5/27/2012 5:30:38 AM with a score of 0

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/what-really-goes-on-in-area-51~2e

ICK!!!

-- weedy on 10/14/2007 10:47:59 PM

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/what-really-goes-on-in-los-angeles~3a-the-24-hour-flood

uuuuuuuuuuugh

-- ThisisBo on 6/19/2011 1:08:30 AM with a score of 2

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/who-wants-to-be-a-supervillain~3f

cheese

-- eerie3 on 9/8/2013 8:43:32 PM with a score of 1903

Um...

-- iamayeti on 8/11/2013 4:25:42 PM with a score of 1923

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/wild-cat

WTF.

-- EarthCollision on 3/4/2014 12:09:16 PM with a score of 0

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/your-quest-around-rhode-island

Eh.

-- Yo' Face on 5/2/2011 7:28:26 PM with a score of 0

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/zombie-outbreak-part-1~3athe-mall

SHORT STORY GAME.........

-- Wasteland on 6/22/2012 2:12:37 PM (Repeat)

YOU;DO NOT DESERVE TO BE ALLOWED TO SPREAD THIS RUBBISH ON THIS SERVER!

-- Muse. on 8/5/2012 10:14:38 AM

-----------------------------------

Comments for featuring:

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/1-day

This is pretty good. We get not only a fair number of mechanical components, items, objectives, and the like, but a great sum of flavor. All the characters have back stories. They aren't flat, they have texture. I love that, and readers love that in general. The only problem is have is some logical disconnects, and maybe a bug or two. I'll send you those via PM, no need to clutter up comments with them. Good work. Clean up some of the problems, awkward link system, repeating events, item use loop, etc. and I'll gladly give you a higher score, not that the one I gave you was bad. :D

-- ugilick on 6/28/2013 9:30:56 PM with a score of 224

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/anything-for-momma

Not bad. Some spelling and grammar issues here and there, and rather short. The descriptions were generally alright, but it would be better to show us how the characters are feeling rather than simply tell us. The mother's shooting, which sets off the whole story, is never described; it'd be the perfect opportunity to get some emotion in here, but it's summed up in a sentence.

This is an above-average story, but not a stupendous one. Excellent for a first try, though.

-- Sszinid on 12/13/2013 3:52:01 PM

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/astronaut~3a-chapter-1

This story definitely does not need to be split into parts. Not at all. The only choices given to me in this very, very short story is what my character says, which didn't even seem to make much of a difference anyhow. Plus, the last half of the story was just linear, which definitely wasn't enjoyable. Something I would also like to recommend is using quotation marks instead of dashes when a character is talking.

I thought this was going to be a story about how hard it is being an astronaut on the moon and getting there, having the joy of low gravity, but instead it was just three men lightly joking about going into space.

2/8

-- fergie14233 on 10/11/2012 11:17:21 AM

It's a Intresting story, since it allows multiple options, but it isn't a story game. Any choice you make will end in you winning. So there isn't really any content.

Though, it is a dedication to Neil Armstrong, so it makes sense that it isn't a an actual game.

Also, I realize you aren't the best in Englis, but when a character is talking, you should use a " since I got confused a couple of times.

3/8

-- Aman on 10/5/2012 5:13:46 PM

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/back-to-the-'90s

Aside from the odd anti-republican humor, (while it seems to have a distinct hatred of Republicans, it cracks a joke about how we eat souls, which I'll assume it a crack at what people believe about Reoublicans, and not what you believe, which leaves me incredibley confused) the work was very good.

Found it amusing, well written, and engaging, it's probably the second best random game on the site. 6/8

-- Aman on 5/1/2013 10:06:43 PM with a score of 0

We are offered a nice nostalgia trip while being given ample opportunity to laugh at the silliness of it all. This speaks to allot of people, believe it or not! Basically everyone would like to relive their life. Not everyone has an irrational hatred of their older brother to a murderous degree! But everyone has been infuriated a time or two. Besides, the absurdity is where the fun starts.

-- ugilick on 5/3/2013 9:48:30 PM with a score of 0

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/blackbirds

Where were the black birds?

Grammar wasn't that bad as a problem, so bravo for that, but it was short, and not detailed. If you're going to write a story on a murderer/rapist, you might have to go the extra mile, not necessarily "Endmaster" gruesome, but at least verbose and interesting.

Writing a story in shouldn't take 20 minutes, unless it was made to be simple, or the author thought about the plot before hand and was amazingly skilled on the keyboard. Take your time, think about your premise, it's not like you have a time limit on this site. :)

-- Aman on 8/2/2013 1:39:33 PM with a score of 0

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/bob's-psych-ward

Not as bad as I thought it would be. It was disgusting at points, had bad spelling, and didn't make a whole lot of sense (Why am I even in this place? Why are the prisoners free? Who is Bob and why is he trying to kill me?). The good part was that you had decent amount of options and I liked the items.

Could have been a lot better but could have been worse also.

3/8

-- JMgskills on 3/1/2012 2:50:46 PM with a score of 0

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/intrepid-(demo)

Really nice game so far, but even for a demo, I do have a bit of qualms...

Combat seems very icky to me. The fight against the bandit is a little too sudden for health to matter, as even two supposedly successful actions will result in one instant death or no health loss.

If that's going to be the case for the whole story with the rest of the fights, health shouldn't really be added in the story unless it applies for continuous starvation or thirst, or injuries in a trap.

While having an inventory did help, I'm more inclined to actually clicking on and using an item than rather having the item open up a new choice. That's my personal preference, but please do make a thread in the Writing Workshop forums for more opinions.

-- Swiftstryker on 2/20/2014 7:22:07 PM with a score of 0

Not bad; pretty good actually.

I was kind of put off by the fact that I learned everything about the story from the description; it'd be super helpful if you could explain the story more in the story itself.

In the fight scenes, you should also try to give some hints as to what move you should make next, since at times I got tired of getting killed because I decided to punch instead of kick (for example).

Overall, try giving some background to the story instead of throwing the reader into the fray right at the start. But I must say that your writing style is great :)

-- Allusional on 2/18/2014 9:23:05 PM with a score of 0

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/jack-at-the-tracks

I sort of see where the idea for this one was going, investigating an accident and getting credit, however to me it never really carried off, sinse the writing gave me no sense of urgency due to the short sentences and lack of detailed descriptions.

I also agree with some of the previous comments, that this one really could've done with a little more by way of difficult choices.

still, I give creddit to what is obviously a young author, and hope he goes on developing more stuff in the future and expanding his tallents.

-- darkempathy on 12/29/2012 10:14:50 PM with a score of 0

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/mouldy-oldiez

Pretty good game. The game had a good use of items, you obviously know what you're doing there, and it made me think a few times. I was entertained throughout the whole thing, but the insulting humor detracted from the experience for me. All in all, I gave it a 5/8.

Also, love the Splinter Cell reference.

-- ThisisBo on 9/3/2012 6:13:13 PM with a score of 0

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/myvacation

This is an incredibly detailed sim that takes into account variables that you hardly ever find in RPGs (like Fun, Bathroom, Energy, etc.). Definitely a game that will entertain for hours; I can only imagine how many items and variables must be involved. There are a few bugs scattered throughout the game, but the only one that I really had a big issue with was that I could not find my room key and collapsed of exhaustion as a result :/ That aside, it's a super detailed game that flows nicely and is for the most part user-friendly.

-- Allusional on 3/31/2014 5:13:43 PM with a score of 1

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/pushing-a-desert-army

I have to agree with some of the other comments. You need details and a storyline. Where are we exactly? I thought we are on a desert island, but all of a sudden there is a castle. Maybe if you tell us what is going on, like what the war or battle is about and why people are fighting, then maybe I wouldn't be so confused. The person in the story probably has some motive for fighting- give some background and tell his story.

-- SoarHighBeFree on 4/19/2010 11:13:33 PM

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/september-the-14th-part-i

Well, I can see that some effort went into the making of this; I'll certainly give you that. But the entire creative purpose of this games seems to be to mock characters and programs designed for young children to begin with. Why exactly do you hate them, Deven711? This story leaves me with several questions, but I'll only ask the one that is eating at me the most: why did you create pages with links saying "Try to dodge it" and "Let it hit you"? Why on Earth would I allow a laser beam, bullet, etc. to strike me in the chest?! Also, do you truly only watch South Park for the foul language and such? That really isn't the point of watching a mature satirical cartoon, is it?

Anyway, I suppose the problem is that you and I do not share the same sense of humor, so I suppose I simply can't appreciate your comedic stories. I have given this a 5/8 for pacing and effort, though.

-- Sir_Lancegalawain on 2/3/2007 9:52:59 PM

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/the-coast-or-the-chase

I'm surprised Chuck Norris even bothered to use his nose to take out those soldiers. He could have shot his fingernails out of his hands or something that took far less effort. Good work, but I think Chuck could have taken out the whole base on his own. In fact, if he was really on your team, he'd have already won before you became a criminal.

And why the hell was Kim Beasley there =P? I could understand his reason to be there, but what good would he be?

A great story, many jokes that I got that a few others wouldn't, even though there was a lot of violence. Not what I expected the storygame to be, but even better. Especially the grill guy. You should try getting the "Leaf Busters" jingle in the next one somewhere.

-- October on 9/2/2007 9:15:21 PM with a score of 1000

Sorry, sorry. I put LLL's comment and etc up there for being obnoxious in all caps more than anything, but I'll leave the rest of them alone. I'll keep in mind of October's comments. I did read what you said about madglee's and EndMaster's storygames, but I guess I didn't notice that I went through one of madglee's.. :P

And I have been reading all of your replies. I get that it takes a while to sift through all of these comments, so thanks for actually responding to all of them. I'm trying to improve, honest. XD

So yeah, just the Everything Else section left to go! Wooooo. 

No worries! Thanks for the great work that you're doing.

  Here's a storygame without much thought or effort put into it. And one choice makes you lose. http://chooseyourstory.com/story/a-single-rose

I don't think that's QUITE bad enough for deletion, though it's close.

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/ulysses~3a-the-pegasi-incident

Lol, wasn't there still a 'Go Back' button then?

Hell yes to what, exactly?

Not really, but it'd sure help...

Shows an opinion, but... Ugh...

heheh, penut...

Kind of incoherent.

So?

I didn't delete jmc's comment but I'd be open to a community discussion on that kind of comment.

Ryan Stregger's comment doesn't break the rules, he's just misinformed.

All of the comment under his are fine to stay. They aren't good comments but they don't warrant deletion.

A reese's peanut butter cup is the author, so he's saying that he gave it a 6/8.

Comments from the Everything Else section for deletion:

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/8-goals,-28-rolls

Oh

-- ck23838 on 7/20/2013 8:21:18 AM with a score of 91 (Two of the same thing, sort of)

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/a-boring-day

:>

-- Killer999 on 10/7/2011 10:37:00 AM

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/a-crazy-dimension-called-life

ummm

-- java on 3/7/2007 4:49:30 PM

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/a-trip-to-the-zoo

Wtf?

-- Tgetruegamer on 5/19/2013 3:06:26 PM

....

-- EricDrewCents on 6/24/2012 12:47:17 AM

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/are-you-chicken~3f

ewww

-- speakno3vil on 8/31/2012 5:28:45 PM

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/bazooka-rider~2e

...

-- alex2208 on 6/16/2012 7:37:26 AM

?

-- RobustSporadic on 6/16/2012 5:38:45 AM

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/bloody-story

WTF

-- JamesValkyrie on 8/13/2013 12:25:59 AM (Three of the same thing)

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/blunder-brain-bob-baldwin-of-baltimore-in~3a-no-escape

Fuck fuck fuck, this was fucking whorribly terrible, like a fucking whore. I think the author is gay, and he's got no dick either. Stupid fucking moron, what a fucktard you are. You can go back into your mother's stinking pussy and never come out again, friend of Hitler. And if you disagree with this constructive critisism, you can all go fuck your niggery selves, bastards!

-- Giant fucking pussy on 5/31/2013 5:50:24 AM

Huh?

-- Miccy2000 on 3/7/2006 1:36:55 AM

-- on 9/6/2005 1:04:02 PM (Nothing written)

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/bowser-trivia~21

umm

-- :) on 2/10/2012 7:38:10 PM

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/crab-arena~21

It was fuuuuuunnnnnn!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

-- Psychotikitty on 4/15/2013 5:44:30 PM with a score of 0

meh

-- hexidecimal on 6/8/2012 5:56:25 PM with a score of 0

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/creating-your-own-storygame

Gj

-- Holy_Sword on 12/5/2013 5:47:24 PM

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/forum-wars

meh

-- haledakota on 8/24/2012 8:08:40 PM with a score of 4

3j, is OPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

-- Woah on 4/5/2012 8:13:52 PM with a score of 4

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/get-the-heck-off-this-island~21

Pffft

-- Zane on 11/15/2012 11:18:07 PM with a score of 40

k.

-- Killer999 on 9/26/2011 9:50:04 AM with a score of 0

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/happiness-test~21

nigga

-- Kyle Ratliff on 5/15/2013 12:43:12 PM with a score of 113

Meh

-- Kazbar on 3/22/2007 12:12:56 PM with a score of 93

This is a good game...right on the dot.

-- Katrina on 9/5/2004 11:55:00 PM with a score of 97 (Four of the same thing.)

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/hellsing-quiz

waste of time

(Big chunk of space here)

-- lee harris on 6/16/2008 11:09:35 PM

rete

-- 54tre on 3/16/2007 5:23:44 PM

-- on 8/29/2005 12:54:53 AM (Nothing written)

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/hockey-quiz~3a-what-nhl-player-are-you~21

meh

-- cc on 3/12/2014 6:43:45 PM with a score of 0

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/how-to-play-a-game

j

-- LO on 9/17/2012 7:56:49 PM with a score of 0

M

-- STEPHEN on 10/7/2003 10:14:04 PM with a score of 0

Hi

-- Me on 8/20/2003 6:08:55 PM with a score of 0

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/how-well-do-you-know-jim-carrey~3f

??????

-- Wasteland on 6/29/2012 8:00:41 AM with a score of 10

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/joe-or-not-a-joe

eh.

-- Killer999 on 9/20/2011 10:40:19 AM

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/kingmaker

what

-- hummingbird3 on 4/6/2010 9:21:52 PM with a score of 7 (Two of the same thing, sort of)

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/little-bighorn-trivia

Its stup

-- id :) on 1/12/2014 3:09:22 PM with a score of 30

s

-- j on 2/27/2012 7:17:43 PM with a score of 60

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/locked-out-(the-movie)-episode-three

what the hell

-- masterelf on 2/27/2012 10:14:19 AM with a score of 0

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/mag-member-quiz

?

-- Killer999 on 10/7/2011 10:39:04 AM

coff

-- quadcam on 4/11/2007 3:50:08 AM

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/mario-party-quiz~21

[oo

-- poo on 8/22/2013 10:54:40 PM with a score of 50

s

-- a on 2/12/2013 10:22:21 PM with a score of 40

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/myadventuregame~2ecom-the-game-

880 points so close lol

-- bells23 on 5/17/2012 12:05:52 PM with a score of 0 (Two of the same thing)

k.

-- Killer999 on 10/4/2011 1:06:41 PM with a score of 0

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/nintendo-quiz

Meh

-- Psychotikitty on 4/24/2013 8:30:47 PM with a score of 30

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/normal-day

-- on 3/19/2005 6:12:04 PM (Nothing written. Three of them)

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/quiz~3a-do-you-know-myadventuregame~2ecom~3f-part-1-2002~2d2003

k.

-- Killer999 on 9/22/2011 9:36:04 AM with a score of 3

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/quiz~3a-kansas-city-royals

Poooop

-- Nuclearwarfareaw10 on 8/8/2013 3:39:10 AM with a score of 0

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/randomly-walk

click click click click click click click click click click click click click click click click click click click click click click click click click

-- WASP on 7/22/2013 3:51:32 PM

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/skyrim-quiz-by-ufop1-improved-version

UFOP1

-- Amy2 on 9/4/2012 2:59:04 PM (Two of the same thing)

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/test-your-knowledge~3a-the-fellowship-of-the-ring

Bleh

-- Calvin Adan on 2/3/2014 1:25:44 AM with a score of 1600

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/test-your-knowledge~3a-the-hobbit

ads

-- asd on 4/21/2013 6:23:46 PM with a score of 899

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/the-castle-escape

Meh...

-- jack10345 on 8/9/2013 9:34:33 PM

Meh...

-- jack10345 on 8/9/2013 9:34:33 PM

boring but funny troll pic

:)

-- ZombieMAN352 on 4/16/2013 1:58:26 PM (Two of the same thing)

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/the-curse-of-anuran

nfniaew

-- poopoo on 9/13/2013 8:45:58 PM

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/the-dragon-quiz~21

X

-- EarthCollision on 2/23/2014 4:04:43 AM

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/the-revised-conneth-quiz

.

-- Noobly on 5/5/2013 6:57:32 PM with a score of 3

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/to-make-a-sandwich

qwertyuiop

-- cysid2 on 6/4/2012 11:50:14 PM

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/trollstuck

LJ: GRJSH TROLLLLLL

-- May The Emopotatochu on 4/3/2012 12:30:31 AM

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/vanvid

IM GOLD!!!! *poses before turning solid*

-- alienalpha on 7/26/2013 11:48:41 PM with a score of 0 (Four of the same thing)

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/words-you-probably-don't-know

poo

-- EarthCollision on 3/1/2014 1:16:04 PM

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/worst-day-of-your-life~21~21~21

This is a piece of shit

-- V on 3/7/2013 1:13:05 PM

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/you're-fired~21

....

-- EricDrewCents on 6/24/2012 12:48:21 AM

Storygame for category change:

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/dressing-the-part

From Everything Else to Edutainment. Informative on the standard fashion of a Victorian lady.

Comments for featuring:

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/a-dog's-life

This wasn't bad by any means but the story was too formulaic and the dog's perspective wasn't nuanced. You could have used the dog's point of view as a real tool in the writing, but you didn't. You needed to rely more on body language and less on verbal communication. The actual writing could use some work too. Also, I don't think you used the memories angle as well as Sethaniel did and I'd rather not see this writing type become a fad.

That being said, it was better than average and a great start! I'm excited to see what you make next.

-- JJJ-thebanisher on 3/23/2014 7:41:51 PM

I don't think you did a very accurate job of depicting the inner workings of a dog's brain, and I lament the fact that you switched between 1st and 3rd person narration a couple of times; but my most significant issue is with the fact that you include human dialogue, then say that the player character doesn't understand it. That messes with immersion. That said, it was totally acceptable for a first story, by virtue of the fact that the concept was good and the writing was well enough.

-- Loon on 1/20/2013 6:46:13 PM

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/a-strange-day-in-july

You were obviously trying to make an emotionally moving story, but without getting more information about the relationship, it's very difficult to relate to the characters. Instead of statements about how close they are or how long they've known each other, try showing a few moments where their relationship developed. Perhaps as flashbacks.

You should also make it much clearer what the choices are and who is making them. Are we choosing Emma's actions?

If you include supernatural elements like changelings, it's important to explain what that means.

But not bad for a little first story.

-- Evagirl on 5/22/2012 9:22:15 AM

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/battle-of-hastings

The story wasn't obviously linear which was refreshing, but the author should take more care in writing. This story's prose was nowhere close to error free and could use some proofreading attention. Moreover, the plot is not carefully attended to. In the Game Description, the author names the character John Doe, only to contradict himself on page 1 (calling the character John Williams) and then as the story progresses, we go from planning to move to a military base then to London.

Still, the author has some good ideas and should pursue more thorough story-telling.

-- JJJ-thebanisher on 3/24/2014 12:52:24 AM

Very, very little description is provided. Consider fleshing things out. What does the town look like? The road? The woods? Who are the soldiers accompanying the player character, and how do they look and act? The choices aren't too bad, but it's hard to get immersed in a story that has so little... well... story. You could quadruple the amount of text on every page without overwhelming most readers, and your tale would be better for it.

I personally would have called this "Norman Invasion" or something similar. Hastings is never even mentioned within the story, which has nothing whatsoever to do with the actual battle. The description is also misleading in another way: you state in the description that the player character's name is John Doe, then contradict that on the very first page of the story. Not a big deal, just a heads up.

-- Sszinid on 11/7/2013 1:06:38 PM

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/bloody-story

Yes, Profusely is a word (You asked during one of the torture scenes, after you cut up the four year old)

Good description, although there was a severe lack of realism and there was absolutely no plot line, like, at all, I do commend you for your excellent description. Next time, try making a story that isn't so ridiculous in nature, much potential here though, you're clearly not that bad a writer.

-- Drakilian on 8/12/2013 7:44:47 PM

Eh... what's the point in duct taping her mouth if you're just going to have to rip it off to cut her tongue out? Wouldn't it have made more sense to leave the duct tape on and mutilate her nose instead, thereby preserving silence while also causing her to choke on the blood that runs down her pharynx? The way you did it not only failed to maximize her suffering, but also exposed you to a greater risk of detection.

C'mon man... you gotta think of this stuff!

-- Loon on 5/3/2013 4:24:45 PM

(I wasn't sure if I should recommend EndMaster's comment as well.. >_>)

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/cave-of-doom

What just happened? You can't call that a story or a game. All that is is a random configuration of events with two characters (one being the main character) that you know nothing about. Where's the plot? The detail? The attention to character development? Did you just decide to write this because you were bored and figured that confusing people was a good idea to pass the time? I'm sorry, but this really needs some work.

-- jkulibert2 on 4/24/2011 9:46:27 PM

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/choose-your-life

Well, I wasn't a big fan. I don't want to sound rude, but there were some things that really bothered me in this. First of all the "You are a tomboy". Yes, in real life you can't choose your gender, so I won't really mention that, but you can choose your personality. Not many choices, except for some stuff in school. And speaking of which, how does sneaking out of a assembly get me rich? And the item "yes". What's that for? Why is it an item? If you were going to make a new one, I would probably allow it to go further than your childhood, allow more choices and personal development, and have actual items. Again, not trying to be rude. Just some constructive criticism.

-- rae38 on 10/27/2012 7:02:28 AM with a score of 10

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/evolution

A good idea for a game and it I did find it pretty fun. If expanded it would be fun perhaps to see different sides of evolution, e.g. sacrificing traits to gain others. Also, because of the evolution focus, I thought I was playing as the next generation rather than respawning the same animal, but later events suggested otherwise. Overall, however, not a bad effort :)

-- Sidewelter on 2/27/2013 3:38:13 AM with a score of 4

I made a story kinda like this for my first try. Mine was a "tree" style plot with many branches from making a descision. This could've worked out really well if you had made this into a quest like story. Like finding out about your origins or something along those lines. The thing that bothered me the most was the respawn option. Instead of doing that you could've made it to where you "lay an egg" and that egg would be your checkpoint. Beef it up and take some of my sugestions and this will be great. I love the premise, but you have to bulk it up a little. Good job :)

-- alienalpha on 5/1/2012 9:58:09 AM with a score of 5

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/haggis-dinner

The story's not bad, the writing is good. However, please, PLEASE put the background information in the STORY, not the description. The game itself is a bit too linear, there's no logical solution as to which choice will keep you alive, so the reader ends up blindly picking links. Also, I believe that the "keep moving" link is broken.

-- Allusional on 3/22/2014 10:54:04 PM

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/impulsive~2e

This...this is just mindless violence with no reason, no purpose, no nothing! The funny thing is I see massive potential in this story, if a little background is given on the character. Why does he see himself as an angel? Why does he see everyone else as evil sinners who must be punished? What happened to make him that way? Like I said, the story has great potential, but is just too underdeveloped to be much more than untapped mana at this point.

-- DRBickham on 5/14/2011 1:43:59 AM

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/india

Well, other than a few spelling mistakes, the writing wasn't too bad, the problem is that the way the game's looped mean that it doesn't really work. Basically, I went to look at food and merchandise, it said I needed to exchange my money, so I exchanged my money, went back to look at the stalls and it still said I needed to exchange money, so I went to the hotel, woke up to the next day, went to look at the shops and it said I needed to exchange money, and so on and so on. Would be nice if you could fix that loop so that I don't have to keep exchanging money all the time.

-- Briar_Rose on 11/30/2012 4:52:55 PM

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/trick-game

Yeah, well...I know the point of the game is that 'nothing is as it seems' and that I should expect the unexpected and stuff, but with that being said, I didn't enjoy it at all. I clicked on a link; sometimes it brought me to a room with ten doors, sometimes it didn't, and if I choose the wrong one of the ten doors I either get sent back to the first page or go back to the SAME page, and if I weren't so determined to give this game a comment I would have closed it out right then. You've gotta give the player some strong incentive to play, like jokes, maybe, or a mystery, or a confusing twisty-turny plot. Maybe even something like the Impossible Quiz. I 'unno. Just give us some meat on these game-bones.

-- Trish on 8/29/2012 8:00:26 PM with a score of 0

Delete comments:

-- JJJ on 9/6/2005 12:02:06 PM with a score of 50

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/julius-caesar~3a-stayin'-alive~21

surfs up dude

 

-- jack on 1/28/2014 7:51:52 PM

 

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/Insult-Eminem

-- JJJ on 9/6/2005 12:02:06 PM with a score of 50

omg

EMINEM: Wazzuph, you are a geat guy!! :P

 

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/DieZombiesDie

Write

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/Lost-Key

WoooooOoOooO!!!!!!

great game!

 

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/Let's-Be-Evil

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/Twenty~2dThree

Beta it natty

I do. I do. I do.

This game flopped. Not that good. Nice story though. I like the clever twist ending. 

I AM SEXY EEEEH

yup

 

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/The-Case-of-the-Potential-New-Hire

I...

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/Inferno-quest-series~3a-~231The-Burning-adventure

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/The-Dragon-Quiz~21

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO THE SAME AS EVERYONE ELSE, I GOT 10/10!!!!

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/Quiz~3a-How-Succesfull-will-you-be

For feature:

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/Survive-in-the-Monster-World

There's definitely some whimsy here and I like that, as the fantasy genre can often take itself too seriously. But there should be more paths that don't end in death and don't end with the singular ending. You could make something pretty cool out of this actually.

 

Also, I think this game should finally be deleted:

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/Trick-Game

Funnnnn doesn't break any rules.

ok doesn't break any rules.

I don't think Trick Game should be unpublished.

Agreed with everything else.

Wanna recommend a comment from one of my games for deleting. Probably not breaking any rules but:

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/quest-for-the-holy-grail

Yeah, it's 100% false! 

 

I don't know Aman, I think there might be something there.

....

I ADMIT NOTHING

Yeah, I'm fiiiiine 

*Foine

*turns away from screen to talk to children, takes pipe out of mouth*

And that, children, is where fanfiction comes from.

Done

Thankies ^_^

 

Must have hit feature instead of delete. Great catch.

Awhh, you don't think #YOLOSWAG420BLAZEIT deserves to be featured? But it's so witty 

I know this has no relevance but what is BHB?

I ctrl+Fd that in this thread and it only comes up in your post. Where did you see it?

#1. Caregory Change: chooseyourstory.com/story/battlefield-3. From Modern adventure to fanfic. It uses the licensed name of an extremely popular franchise.

*Sorry but I am unable to put line breaks from my phone*

#2. Category Change: chooseyourstory.com/story/i~2e-hate~2e-zombies~2e. From modern to horror. It has zombies.


#3. Difficulty Change: chooseyourstory.com/story/revenge-for-honor. From 4 to 2. The story is linear and winning or losing depends on last choice.

#4. Tag Change: chooseyourstory.com/story/revenge-for-honor. Remove War. Add geared for extremist.


#5. Tag Change: http://chooseyourstory.com/story/the-zombies. Remove serious. Add humour.

#6. Deleting Comment: This was brilliant! I really love reading legends
from loads of different countries. Gotta say I
liked your ending a whole lot better than the
real one where Sita keeps getting accused of
infidelity and Rama banishes her to live in the
woods where she gives birth to twin sons
which she has to raise on her own for 14
years. I think eventually Rama finds them and
offers to take the boys back to his palace but
not Sita, and Sita's so miserable that she begs
the earth to open up and swallow her so that
her suffering will end and it does... Rama's
such a douche :p
-- Briar_Rose. chooseyourstory.com/story/the-ramayana. She call Rama a douche (ouch). Although what she said is certainly true but that might offend some people.

#7. Maturity Level Change: chooseyourstory.com/story/three-keys. From 5 to 3.

#8. Category Change: chooseyourstory.com/story/warrior-cats~3a-your-story. From fantasy to fanfic.

#6

And because it *might* offend some people, it should be deleted? Don't see why.

Everyone has the right to speak openly about religion here, and that includes making offensive statements. There is a line, but I don't think Briar's comment was even close to that line. If she had said: "Fuck all of the Jews" or something, that would definitely be deletable. But she can talk about Sita, Rama, Allah, Jesus, or whatever she so pleases.

Other than that, I agree about everything.

Yey. I'm not deletably offensive! ^_^

change category:

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/overthrow

From Edutainment to Modern Adventure, think it fits more, kinda.

Also,I think the historical tag should be taken out (I don't think it's makes sense for it, as it didn't take place in our history, at least. I think?)

Agreed on all points, but as I said, if you want points for tags, you have to list all of the tags you think it should have, not just say which are being removed.

Feature comment:

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/myvacation

 

I like the point that the commenter is trying to get across but the writing needs some work. This isn't quite featureable.

"The only big problem is the bugs that might need a little bit of editing to get rid of it"

" The storyline flowed nicely and I like it how you could sometimes make big choice"

" The storygame is very non-linear, which gives more freedom to the player, but a little more linearity would perfect it" (perfect what?)

Both Killa and BerkaZerka deserve some points for dealing with this guy (one of many examples)-

Agreed

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/weird-shit

Game should either be deleted or have it's maturity rating to be raised to a 7.

Comments for deletion:

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/Dead-Frontier

 

Agreed.

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/the-epic-adventure-of-epicness

Alright, this game is tagged with

Based Off A True StoryGeared for ChildrenGeared for ExtremistsHumorSeriousWarZombie

Yeah... I think the only one that fits is humor. Oh yeah, and maturity rating should go down to a 4. AND it should be moved from Edutainment to... Modern Adventure?

---

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/Lost

Should be tagged 'Humor' and 'puzzle', not that + 'serious'

Comment for deletion:

---

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/u-r~3a-a-magician

Should be tagged: Humor

Comment for deletion:

---

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/the-carivelli-carnival

---

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/zombies-r-me~21

Should be tagged with: Zombie, Humor

Delete:

---

Feature comment:

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/Drive-Fast~21

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/timescape~21

---

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/little-red-riding-hood

---

Agreed with everything except 'the best game ever'. While I don't agree, that comment doesn't break the rules even though the author posted it.

So this is kinda finding comments that are no use to this site...

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/the-secret-of-daphne

 

That comment is actually fine. I'm shocked that's all you can see, though.

Feature comment:

www.chooseyourstory.com/story/kittens-of-fat

Agreed.

Remove this story:

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/fight~21

Piece of crap, to be brutal. Can't be finished.

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/can-you-beat-the-boring-game

You know it's going to be a train wreck when an attention-seeking 6 year old  calls his own game boring.  It leaves the scent of a blatant troll game that can be smelt for miles.

Actually, Sentinel, about that first game: I helped him fix it and taught him how to avoid that glitch in the future. It was a scripting issue. I tested it out and the game can be finished now.

I'm not going to lie and say it's not crap, because you're right, it absolutely is. There's no plot, no intro, no back-story, you're just punching and kicking an unknown, unnamed enemy for random damage and then you either win or lose. Yawn. However, he's a new member who just joined today and it was his first try making anything.

... Maybe I'm being too soft here, but talking to him proved he's not trolling. He genuinely wants to make a good game and helping the guy out by teaching him how to do things right seemed more productive.  

I didn't have too much against the game aside from there wasn't much else to it and it couldn't be finished. I mean, technically, that qualifies as a test game. There was some obscure endorphin rush the same way there was an obscure endorphin rush to the first randomly walk, but I guess if that part's fixed there's no real reason to un-publish it since (I think) it doesn't break any site rules. The second one still leaves the undeniable stank of troll shit though.

A stench Sentinel...it leaves a stench. Anyway I've played and reviewed the game myself and I would agree with Kiel. I do think the game is a piece of crap spam clicking abomination of a game, but it could qualify as a test. If you want to compare this to other troll games, do you remember the "Unplayable Story"? THAT was deliberate trolling where you could not finish the game. If the author was willing to ask Kiel for help then that means that he is trying to improve. I say let it be for now. 

No, no. A 'stank' is a common term used to describe a sweaty odor created during intercourse. Since that was the first thing the person presumably made on the site, it's safe to say it left a troll stank, because a troll shit may have been born... Because intercourse...

xD Ah, thank you for that mental imagry of troll sex involving feces, Sent. Now I don't have to get myself food because my appetite is, indeed, gone. Noted, though. Having the words "the boring game" anywhere in the title reeks of troll, so death to the shit spawn of troooolls....!

If you know anyone on a diet, send them my way if they ever get cravings. I'll probably think of something equally disgusting...

I mean, "The boring game" is always a red flag, but that's definitely not the only thing I'm bashing it for. On average, there's about four words on each page, and a third of the pages is you arguing with the narrator. That's NEVER a good sign. The narrator mocking you is typical, but mocking the narrator back is a literary art that pretty much no one I've seen here, not even the best of us, and not even I, (And that's really saying something, because I've spent a great deal of my life considering how best to mock things.) have ever mastered. And rightly so, that's effectively a death trap for a lot of stories. Maybe it'd be a fun little thing to add in the beginning, or perhaps after the real ending, but going off on a tangent, no matter how small, no matter if it's you speaking with him, or if you're making the character argue with the narrator, you're still encouraging the player to break character, to play as themselves rather than immerse themselves in the story. By messing with the storyteller, you mess with the story.

It's a problem that's very unique to the CYOA genre, isn't it? Outside of the Stanley parable, (and even then, you deliver your insults with subtlety and defiance rather than true verbiage,) or other things where the only other personality in the game is the person telling you the story,  the narrator is absent, replaced by other, perhaps equally omnipotent, (for the game's purposes) entities that mock you instead. It's easy to mock them back, because then you expand the story, you follow the story's rules. You don't break every law available to stop the story and argue with the god that's weaving it. No writer now or since has ever been truly able to jab the second or third-person narrator himself outside of some fourth-wall breaking or another that lasts only briefly, as a gag. Video games don't have to deal with that problem, they use images to tell the story, the imagery can keep people occupied while the background voices surrounding their gameplay . Most books never bother to argue with the narrator, the narrator doesn't usually bother to argue back. Shows are the only things I've really seen that have truly explored that, but they don't do it often. In CYOAs, that's a big no-no, however. The player is a presence in the story, maybe they aren't supposed to play as any one character, but they need to be IN the story. They need a constant stream of information, they need to know what's going on. They can't take the time to bite the hand that's feeding them.

But enough of this in-depth stuff, that game doesn't deserve such sensical analysis, it's awful!

Yeah, I was oversimplifying. I'm aware the story has more reasons to be bashed for than merely the title... and I applaud you on the effort in your analysis. However, I do think that sort of thing--having an argument with the narrator--can be done well. (It's just, it's way too easy to do it very, very badly.) I actually kind of enjoy stories that break the fourth wall.

he added a backstory and a sword to the game. You get the sword when you complete your first fight. He's also added a reset link to the end page. I agree it's crap, but I have also talked to him and he isn't that bad, he said to me that he will probably unpublish it and add some more stuff to it a llittle adventure leading up to the fight where you can get other weapons and improve stats and stuff. He's also explained the energy thing as well in the backstory.

So he took my advice, then... =) atta boy. *wipes away tear* I'm so proud.

It's better, but it's still not good. I'm glad you told him about that ugly block of text though.

Oh, I know, but I'm being optimistic. The guy is doing decent scripting and that's a hell of a lot better than I could do after 48 hours of being here. Yeah, had to mention it. Honestly, it does not matter how good the writing is if trying to read it gives me a headache. I hate it when people neglect proper spacing.

3J already (as well as Berka) decided that since the game isn't offensive and has end links, it narrowly squeaks by being publishable.

Eh? How do you know 3J approves? *didn't see his comment*

I have a backdoor entrance to mod central.

...As well as I PMed Sethaniel about it haha.

Game1 is not worthy of deletion.

Game2 seems not to exist.

Comments recommended for deletion:

On story game: http://chooseyourstory.com/story/rob-a~2e-millikan%27s-oil-drop-experiment
I could really care less about what score I give it, but hey! Nice facts you have there! (Although it is kinda hurr durr with the magnetism.)
-- Swiftstryker on 9/24/2012 1:46:31 AM with a score of 0 (triple post)

Nice presentation! I could care less about the score that I give you, so 1/8 for no apparent reason at all!
-- Swiftstryker on 9/24/2012 1:48:31 AM with a score of 0 (A little redundant considering the other three. xD)

You dig deep XD

Not really, Swift. :P I use the random button if I get bored and just want to find a game to rate for points. Sometimes I find story gems, sometimes I find random crap, but I rarely pay attention to the comments... xD it's just easy to double take when you see the same pattern of words three times in a row.

Agreed!

Move thread:

http://chooseyourstory.com/forums/newbie-central/message/11980

Should be moved to the Advance Editor Forum.

Category Change:

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/spiderman

Fan Fiction

The story is called "Spiderman" and follows the basic plot of the movie and comics. It shouldn't be in Edutainment.

Agreed

Recommending for change of category:

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/slavery

Category it should be in: Everything else.

Why? Because I seriously do not think being captured in Africa and becoming a slave has anything to do with the school based genre and after playing this this game, I'd say my assumption was correct. xD

Agreed

Recommending a storygame for unpublishing:

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/the-big-adventure

"The Big Adventure" is just plain awful. It isn't even finished and most of it is dead links.

 

Recommending a category change for storygame:

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/the-big-adventure

Modern Adventure

There is nothing Sci-Fi about a story like this.

Both of those storygames do not appear to exist anymore.

Recommend the whole "Crazy dreams" thread in the lounge for deletion because... Yeah. >.<

*POOF!

Thanks BZ ^_^

http://chooseyourstory.com/forums/the-lounge/message/11985

 

Look for Swyft's third post here.

 

Delete it, and everything that followed, please.

Probably the entire thread, but not that it really matters at this point.

Appears to no longer exist.

Story games for deletion:

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/dungeon-dungeon-dungeon~21

Reminiscent of ArrowzWorrA, except even less creative.

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/nicki's-super-bass-gas

Just... Ugh.

Comments for deletion:

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/bloody-story

  I say we should just change them or shoot the creators

 

... If you recommend your own comment for deletion, do you still get the point? 

Apparently not.

1. Appears to already be unpublished.

Agreed on the others, but you obviously don't get points for the last one :P

Agreed.

Delete comments (and perhaps penalty) for the following-

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/warrior-kats

 

Looks like Briar has an admirer.

Moved.

I don't see that first Nightsky comment or the storygame, but agreed with the middle comment.

Hey would the Bo approves comments mean a deletion? Are we still doing that new tag that means random?

 

Also 3j is right about points.

 

 

Haha, I forgot about those. I see that Bo is on, we'll see what he has to say about it! Something I should do when I return is find my garbage comments and see about removing them.

They simply show that Bo approves, that's a good thing :D. Definately not feature-worthy by any means, but it's related to the story.

I hate them.